What is "non-optional" for you?

[Lieutenant Stranger]

The 3 Rs are non-optional. Foreign language is also, though we do have to stop from time to time just due to sheer life exhaustion. For one of the kids, playing an instrument is also non-optional. (Will also be for the other when older.)

[Mrs Twain]

Many of mine have already been said:

Cursive

Physical fitness

Public speaking

Computer skills and keyboarding

Logic

Literature

Basic Art/art appreciation

Basic Music and music appreciation

Foreign language

 

Other things which I don't believe have been mentioned yet:

Standardized test practice

Memory work

Civics/government/basic economics

State history and general knowledge

Library skills

Study skills, research skills, note-taking

 

Most important of all:

Attempt mastery of core knowledge (see Core Knowledge K-8 Sequence for more info)

[AMJ]

Music - all my kids will play piano. Branching out to other instruments later would be optional, but piano is not.

(FWIW, I believe that any person can learn to play an instrument and enjoy it at some level, just like any person can learn to read and write. Music is not just for prodigies)

 

Poetry - absolutely essential

 

Foreign language(s)

I am asking my kids to learn piano first (other than recorder stuff from their b&m school days). Why? Because I found out the hard way that it is quite difficult to go from being firmly entrenched on an instrument that plays one note at a time to trying to figure out instruments that can play several notes at a time. Especially when you have to reverse what one hand does.

 

I played saxophone in 4th - 6th grades. The way you hold it and play it the notes get higher as the hand plays from pinky to thumb. With piano this holds true for the right hand, but is opposite for the left (low to high noted are played by thumb to pinky). Add in to this that on the sax the left hand plays the higher notes and the right hand plays the lower, opposite again from the piano. I have had no end of frustration over the years, trying to undo entrenched muscle memory. This is in addition to getting a brain used to a single sequential score trying to learn chords and multi - part playing.

 

It is my hope that by having my kids learn piano earlier it will be a little easier later (certainly less intimidating) if they wish to try another musical instrument.

[mprez]

I have Academic writing in mind with every lesson. I've seen a lot of freshmen come into the writing center because they do not now what is expected of them with regards to reports and papers.

 

I know OP said not Math. For me it's is important that DD is comfortable doing math. Whatever she decides to do, if she is going to university, she has to be able to do math.

 

Philosophy and world history, simply because I would want to be able to discuss them with her someday.

[Smithie]

We're not bunker-builders or preppers either, but as I was making my list, it occurred to me that everything on it was something I considered essential to living a good life and being a responsible citizen in a depleted world. To wit:

 

1. Practical mathematics, including the ability to design and follow construction schematics

2. College-professor-level literacy and language skills - for low-tech enjoyment, as a tool for further self-education and the education of my grandchildren, and as a means of participating effectively in a democracy under any conditions

3. History and geopolitics - again, with an eye to being a competent citizen no matter how much the world changes during their lifetimes

4. Music - for personal and group recreation

[Alte Veste Academy]

The most fascinating thing about this thread for me is that in reading other posters' lists, I see many other non-optional things that fall into the category of family life or are so fixed in our school routine that I wouldn't have even thought to include them. This is a really neat thread!

[Walking-Iris]

Other than the basics of math and language arts:

 

 (I've never really thought about this in such detail, so this thread is good because it's forcing me to get my ideas out in a coherent form)

 

 Religious studies. I assume in your OP when you mentioned "other than religion" you were thinking about immersing a child in a family's particular faith?

 

We don't have a specific faith, but I definitely have the idea that learning about other religions (comparative religious studies) is one of our non-negotiables. I want all of my children to read/study all the major religious texts and study as many faiths as we can possibly get to. 

 

I do NOT want my adult children being the type of person who declares their faith/opinion as the only correct one or to make stereotypical/prejudicial statements about any faith/religion/culture. 

 

Also a social awareness is a non-negotiable---civil rights, current events, Constitution/government, ecology, philosophy/ethics, and so on are important to our family. 

 

Art history is pretty big for us as well as the doing of art.

 

Critical thinking skills

 

Literature

 

Scientific inquiry

 

A lot of the main things that are important to me are in an attempt to raise human beings who are intelligent, kind, and thoughtful to the other humans they share the planet with, as well as being thoughtful of the actual planet they live on, and are able to really think and  analyze whatever point of view, study, opinion, issue or event they are presented with, see, or read. I want them to have the skills to actually know they are capable of making a difference (locally, globally).

 

And I want them appreciate beauty and talent when they see it---art, music, literature (and make some of it).

 

I can't really define those goals in terms of a subject matter, or particular curriculum or book to use.

 

ETA; geography! That's something we study a lot!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Crimson Wife]

 

I do NOT want my adult children being the type of person who declares their faith/opinion as the only correct one or to make stereotypical/prejudicial statements about any faith/religion/culture.

 

I don't believe the first automatically leads to the second. I do believe that my denomination is the One True Church but I also strongly believe in Free Will and allowing people to make their own life decisions. I don't want to live in a theocracy, even one run by religious leaders whose views I share. I want to live in a pluralistic society where there is liberty to practice the faith of one's own choosing or none at all. I may think your religion is complete nonsense and I might pray for your conversion, but I strongly support your right to practice it.

[HS Mom in NC]

I'd also add Latin and Greek Roots to the list.  It really helps build a solid foundation for advanced reading later in the sciences, civic and literature. My older two thanked me for it. Between context and breaking a word down to its roots, they rarely have to look up new words.  

The 2 hours a day of reading loud great literature from the time they were school aged (about an hour a day before that) is another non-negotiable for us. Their vocabularies are huge so advanced reading comprehension is no problem.

 

My husband insisted they learn error analysis as part of their study in statistics before they went to college.  The ability to understand the data you gather in science is just as important as being able to gather data. It's a handy way to integrate math and science too.

[IfIOnly]

I'd also add Latin and Greek Roots to the list.  It really helps build a solid foundation for advanced reading later in the sciences, civic and literature. My older two thanked me for it. Between context and breaking a word down to its roots, they rarely have to look up new words.  

 

The 2 hours a day of reading loud great literature from the time they were school aged (about an hour a day before that) is another non-negotiable for us. Their vocabularies are huge so advanced reading comprehension is no problem.

 

My husband insisted they learn error analysis as part of their study in statistics before they went to college.  The ability to understand the data you gather in science is just as important as being able to gather data. It's a handy way to integrate math and science too.

 

 

How does the 2 hours a day of reading great literature work?  Is is done independently or through reading aloud or both?  I'm so curious.  

[HS Mom in NC]

How does the 2 hours a day of reading great literature work?  Is is done independently or through reading aloud or both?  I'm so curious.  

 

 

Read aloud. Independent reading is done on their own for pleasure.  They read for pleasure a lot. They read a lot of great literature on their own.  They often enjoy a read aloud by a particular author and follow up with his/her other books on their own independently.

 

My husband reads aloud in the evenings. By the time they're school aged it's an hour long stretch.

 

I read aloud literature related to History during school hours and often something else in the evenings that isn't school related.  It starts out in 3 shorter sittings thorough out the day when they're younger and builds up to 2 readings a school day and now at age 8, we can do a solid hour during school and half an hour or so in the evenings when dad is done.

 

There are lots of threads here on what to let your kids do while you read aloud to them and ideas for finding really book book lists. There are also great suggestions for finding recordings of great literature to supplement when mom and dad don't want to do the reading aloud all the time.

[HS Mom in NC]

I don't believe the first automatically leads to the second. I do believe that my denomination is the One True Church but I also strongly believe in Free Will and allowing people to make their own life decisions. I don't want to live in a theocracy, even one run by religious leaders whose views I share. I want to live in a pluralistic society where there is liberty to practice the faith of one's own choosing or none at all. I may think your religion is complete nonsense and I might pray for your conversion, but I strongly support your right to practice it.

 

Very well said. Thank you for saying it.

[Mrs Twain]

We greatly increased our read aloud time by playing audio books in the car. That has been one of my best curriculum improvements in the last couple of years!

[Reefgazer]

Besides the standard English language (which includes writing, literature, handwriting, grammar), and math, science, and history (including American), Latin and logic are a must here.  Everything else can be negotiated.  :)

[simplemom]

Training in having a heart of service toward others, read alouds from poetry and literature, public speech when they are older, exercise, outdoor time, life skills/chores participation in running the household, economics/balancing a budget when they are older, computer skills, health, safety, and nutrition.

 

Like to add these, but not sure if we will get to them all in the next 10 years:

Foreign language, Latin roots, music theory, basics of car mechanics, basic plumbing, basic home construction, literary composition, gardening, primitive food and shelter survival skills, learning one fine art/one sport/one trade very well. Refinement working towards mastery of a couple of these areas before graduation.

[kristin0713]

Non-negotiable: reading, writing, math, music instruction.

[Walking-Iris]

I don't believe the first automatically leads to the second. I do believe that my denomination is the One True Church but I also strongly believe in Free Will and allowing people to make their own life decisions. I don't want to live in a theocracy, even one run by religious leaders whose views I share. I want to live in a pluralistic society where there is liberty to practice the faith of one's own choosing or none at all. I may think your religion is complete nonsense and I might pray for your conversion, but I strongly support your right to practice it.

 

Wait..I thought we were just listing things that were non negotiable to us, not debating them. 

 

I don't recall ever saying that the first part of my statement led to the second part. Nor do I recall mentioning any faith in particular.

 

If you believe your's is the one right way, or that everyone else's is nonsense and that it's your duty to pray for others--- that's fine.

 

And my point was that I hope to raise children who will not ever think to make these kinds of statements, because that is not our family's values. I would want my children to support a person's right to practice any religion as well. But I will not have my children thinking secretly that it is nonsense. And I will not want to have my children using a religion as any excuse for shoddy thinking.

 

And thus why I find the comparative religious studies I mentioned a non-negotiable.

 

Sorry if my somewhat vague statement caused you or others to get defensive. 

[basketcase]

This is a fascinating thread! As I read the other posts, I'm realizing that I find almost everything non-negotiable. Perfectionist me, perhaps. But I think a lot of it is that I had an amazing education growing up. Much of the traditional school skills were learned in public school, and the rest was filled in by excellent parents. I wouldn't give up my piano or cello or sight reading skills, but I also would hate to be lacking my speech and debate background. My mother taught me to love great novels, and my father fed us on modern poetry. I can fix basic issues on a car, bake a pie from scratch, sew clothing, live within my means, be a supportive wife and speak several languages. It does seem like an insurmountable task to pass all that on to my kids, but it's been done before, and more. I owe such a huge debt to my parents, an unrepayable one. All I can do is serve others and teach my kids. Sorry to get a little emotional! I'm just feeling so grateful and a little daunted.

[Hunter]

How to Train Up a Child which includes what the Old Order Amish teach in their schools has had a big impact on me for the past couple years.

http://books.google.com/books?id=1MSzboiBfrkC&printsec=frontcover&dq=how+to+train+up+a+child&hl=en&sa=X&ei=yA51U5GPHNfesATyxoGgAQ&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=how%20to%20train%20up%20a%20child&f=false

 

So as well as the 3R's and Religion, I'd add:

 

Chores/Work/Apprenticeship/Exercise

Drawing

Group singing

 

Then if there is still time:

 

Geography (vintage type home geography and basic environmental science)

Health

Group games

 

This will adequately and efficiently prepare for a 2 year junior college degree, possible started early, possibly allowing the student to have finished college by age 18.

 

Emergency Preparedness would fall under Chores/Work. Research Skills would fall under wRiting. Literature would fall under Reading. Accounting/Bookkeeping would fall under aRithmetic. Handwriting would fall under both wRiting and Drawing. History would fall under Reading and Religion. Science would fall under Geography, Health, and Reading.

[kristi26]

Cursive.  Other than the typical stuff that they learn that you've listed as things you aren't counting (math, reading, etc), I insist they learn cursive.  There is little in this world that is sadder than a grown person who can't sign their own name on a document.  How do you go through your adult life without the ability to truly sign your name?  You need to be able to do that! So my two oldest boys already know it (and MDS has beautiful cursive handwriting btw), while DD will learn this year and YDS will learn in a few more years. :)

 

I'll have to think about whether or not there are others that aren't occurring to me right now. ;)

 

ETA: I already thought of another one. Lol.  Geography! I really don't want my kids added to the list of Americans who are clueless about where things are, especially in their own country.  

[RootAnn]

Play at least one musical instrument for enjoyment because it is a useful de-stressor.

"play ... musical instrument" and "enjoyment" aren't in the same sentence for me which is why that isn't one of my non-negotiables.

 

As I read this thread, I realized that although I try to "get it all in," I don't have many things that are "must dos" for all my kids.

 

I do want them to learn to show proper respect to others (including the ability to "just be polite" and walk away when things are hairy), stand up for themselves & their loved ones, and have the guts to Do What's Right (including knowing what that is). 

[Tonia]

My absolute essentials would be math, Latin, and good quality literature. 

[Aurelia]

Literature

Music (learning to play an instrument and theory)

Poetry

Physical activity (including learning to swim, do a cartwheel, and ride a bike)

Spelling

Life Skills

[strange_girl]

Negotiable?! I didn't know any of it was negotiable! :lol:

 

Religion.

 

Spelling. Spelling is important to me. I have a huge pet peeve of driving by signs and billboards and seeing at least one word misspelled...on each one. Grrr! It simply makes my skin crawl.

 

History.

 

Literature.

 

A willingness and ability to work hard and efficiently...although I have no idea how to make that happen except to model it!

[Courtney_Ostaff]

The one item that made me lean towards classical homeschooling was the study of logic. I don't want my children to get sucked into some cult (including but not limited to the religious type, but not including actual religions) because they couldn't see through the errors in logic associated with whatever craziness is going on. I want my daughters to be rigorously grounded in logic, both formal and mathematical. (Yes, I know that they end up being the same thing.) 

 

So, aside from the 3 Rs: 

• logic
• Latin (additional logic skills!)
• piano
• cursive (even if she never uses it, she needs to be able to read cursive writing--I've had professors write it with one hand and erase it with the other)
• financial literacy
• the ability to type precisely, accurately, and quickly
• self-care (cooking, nutrition, mending, cleaning, exercise)

[dewdropfairy]

What made the question easy for me to answer is what we planned for the upcoming school year. I'm having a new baby right about when we will be starting the new school year, and in order to preserve my sanity we are dispensing with non-necessary subjects until I have my feet back underneath me. I feel like we will reasonably be able to get the "non-negotiables" done and then when things settle down we can add back in electives.

[audreyinboston]

OP asked for non-negotiables that are not part of the "standard" curriculum.  Hmmm....since my kids have never been in ps, I'm not sure I know exactly what the standard curriculum IS.  But based on what I think I know:

 

cursive handwriting: you just have to be able to write quickly for notetaking, jotting stuff down, filling out forms, signing your name, etc.  There is not always a computer handy and certainly not a printer.

 

Spanish: I realize foreign languages are sort of standard, but my purpose here is to be able to think and converse in a second language from an early age.  Spanish is practical if you live in the US, especially in big cities and certain regions.  Learning a 2nd language helps you think in different ways because like it or not, language does shape your thinking.  The world is a big place, and I'd like my kids to not be so anglo-centric that they can't appreciate other cultures.

 

Latin: for so many reasons like vocabulary, grammar, logical thinking, easy access to other Latin-based modern languages

 

Good & Great Literature: it seems sad to think this is not really part of the "standard" curriculum anymore, but I think it is important to read widely and deeply from the best that has been written.  It helps you grapple with big ideas, look at things from different perspectives, think about what you REALLY believe, improve your vocabulary, improve your logic, improve your critical thinking, etc.  In addition, I think that it is critical that there be much DISCUSSION about these books, the more the better (and some writing about it wouldn't hurt either!).

 

How to Lie with Statistics (a book): really this is about thinking and understanding what other people's agendas are.  It's about sloppy thinking, and a whole host of things that come with it.  I'd like my kids to not be easily duped, to be able to challenge "scientific" data, to understand what statistics (and other sorts of data) can tell you, and what it can't tell you.  I'm not saying all of these things are covered in this one book, but it represents something I think is important.

 

Basic Adult Life Skills: all those things you should be able to do so you can stay alive and thrive as an adult.  There are a lot of things that people need to know that really don't get covered in a typical school (and not that I'm saying they should particularly), but so many kids have no idea how to do many of these things because NO ONE ever teaches them these skills.  Some examples: Cooking for healthy living, cleaning and organizing, personal finance, driving, negotiating the world of official forms and red tape, all those things you didn't know about owning a car or renting an apartment, savvy shopping, time management, study skills, child care, how to have a good marriage, basic repairs, etc.

 

[madteaparty]

 

Foreign travel? In the elementary years it is nonnegotiable that your children travel abroad?

 

Yes.

 

 

[Eagle]

Cooking

Sewing

Laundry

Swimming

Safety with tools and sharp implements

Building a fire

Nature study

Poetry

Reading classical literature

Exposure to beautiful art and music

Computer programming

Latin

Logic

 

It has been hard to fit it all in with all the academics we do, but it has been worth it.

[Sahamamama]

Math. I know you said "not math." Even so, math.

 

Reading-as-a-Skill. They all read well, but we continue to be intentional about building that skill.

 

Read Aloud Time. Each day we "have a read" (I read to them), take turns reading (round-robin read), listen to audiobooks together, or do all of the above. We read all sorts of wonderful things out loud.

 

Grammar-and-Latin. These are inseparable to me (as a teacher), since I can't understand or explain the one without the other.

 

Writing. Again, we're intentional about building this skill over time. Of course, this includes penmanship (cursive), typing, spelling, copywork, dictation, narration, mechanics, outlining, and reference skills. ;)

 

World History and U.S. History.

 

World Geography and U.S. Geography.

 

Nature Study and tons of time outdoors to exercise, observe, explore, collect, question, use binoculars and magnifying lenses, follow bees, pick buttercups, and climb trees.

 

Music. For now, we have home-grown lessons on music theory, recorder, and piano. We listen to a great variety of music, and talk about composers. In the fall, they'll start singing in a free and well-run children's choir. At some point, perhaps they'll have some formal music lessons. But it's non-optional that music is in their lives.

 

French. I debated adding this to the list, because there are days when French doesn't seem non-negotiable to me. On the other hand, my husband and I enjoy French, and our children have absorbed the same attitude of enjoying the language. While far from fluent, we do keep going with French, so we probably have an attachment to it.

 

Other Non-Negotiables:

Home safety

Fire safety

Personal/street/public safety

Biking + bicycle safety

Swimming + water safety

First aid + CPR

Camping + outdoor skills

Handling emergencies

Self-care (complete grooming from start to finish)

Cooking; planning meals

Laundry & clothing maintenance

Housecleaning & organizing

Personal finance & stewardship

Home office skills

Driving a car

College & career counseling

Human sexuality

Wisdom for marriage

Child care

What to put on my tombstone

 

 

[Runningmom80]

Besides math, music, physical activity/sport, literature studies, foreign language.

[Alice]

Many of the things mentioned are things we do or that I think are important (art,geography,foreign language). But if we are talking non-negotiable beyond the three R's vs. important I would say for me it's only music. I think I'm tone-deaf although I've had musical people argue with me about whether that really is possible. Regardless I'm completely musically illiterate and dh isn't much better. Our kids will absorb some science and history and art and literature exposure just from living in our house and being part of the family. But music is something I have to outsource. Right now that's piano.

 

Right now Latin is the other definite in our curriculum. I see a lot of benefits to it and they both like it. I'm not sure I would say it's truly non-negotiable like music is for me.

 

The main two skills I want them to have are to be curious/interested in learning and to know how to learn. There is just so much to learn. I''m less afraid of gaps the longer we do this and more just hoping that they will be the kinds of people who will think "I wonder why ......" And then go and learn about whatever it is they wonder.

[HappyClassical]

Can I say "everything"? Lol. In my childrens' minds, what I present to them is not optional. I scale as necessary, but I have a solid of idea of what is not optional over the course of their education long term:

 

Spanish - my husband is Spaniard with a half-French mom; he speaks 4 languages fluently - I've seen the benefits of being multi-lingual. We also live in South Florida.

 

Classical Music Education - both in study of composers and in formal tutoring. My kids get to choose (at 4 or 5) what instrument they would like to play from the choices given (sorry, no drums). My daughter is taking piano and my son is taking violin. My sister is classically trained in Flute and piccolo and plays a variety of other instruments. Once they are solid is reading music and their base instrument they can add on with my sister when they are older. I never learned to play. I wish I had and am very blessed to provide that for my children.

 

Science - I do not believe in making science a "when we get around to it" subject. My mom is a science teacher, so she helps me with experiments and whatnot. I do believe science helps to broaden interests, expand curiosity, provide context to difficult vocabulary (and later Latin), develop critical thinking skills, provide a real-world application of math concepts. I believe in science!!

 

Home economics - from chores to cooking and sewing and family finances.

 

Creative Exploration - art appreciation, drawing, multimedia exploration, etc.

 

Physical Fitness and organized activities - free play outside? Yes, tons. Organized activities? Non-optional from age 4-5. My oldest is in tennis and Kung Fu. My second oldest is starting tennis in the follow and also does Kung Fu. The benefits - I could write a whole post.

 

This is beyond what I consider the basics of history, language arts, math.

[Rebecca in KY]

Character education--traits such as perseverance, focus, hard work/work ethic, kindness, thoughtfulness, attention, etc. We teach this through competitive sports, Bible lessons and memorization, and through SCM's Laying Down the Rails for Children.

 

Spanish beginning in early elementary--we believe learning a foreign language helps in so many areas, from critical thinking and logic to communicating with others. I do have a minor in Spanish, so we are able to use teacher-intensive curricula rather than expensive video or computer programs.

 

Music and art--both appreciation and doing. Hubby and I both wish we had had more opportunities for these subjects when we were younger. I keep these low key for now--picture study, Peter and the Wolf, I Can Do All Things.

 

Our goal is for our son to be capable of independence at 18, so many of our curriculum and lifestyle choices are driven by this. He should have the option to go to college; therefore, making sure he has an appropriate education to allow him this choice is important to us.

[a27mom]

The most fascinating thing about this thread for me is that in reading other posters' lists, I see many other non-optional things that fall into the category of family life or are so fixed in our school routine that I wouldn't have even thought to include them. This is a really neat thread!

I am definitely one who does LA and math, everything else is interest led. But when I say that I am referring to things that we do/study because we are homeschooling. These are topics they would traditionally primarily learn at school, or wouldn't have time/energy to learn much at home if they were in b&m school all day.

 

Things like chores, personal finance, physical activity, health, nutrition, life skills, swimming, etc... are things we would do anyway. So while they aren't "negotiable". I also don't think about them when I talk about homeschooling plans, so I wouldn't mention them. We don't follow some type of curriculum for them they are just part of life.

 

I try to make an environment of "life learning". So traditional academic subjects are just part of our life. But I do find that we have to spend a lot of time at home and pursuing interests to get make the most of it. Time we just wouldn't have if the were gone 8 hours a day for school. So there is a separation in my mind between things I consider parenting and things I consider school.

 

Now things like history, science, foreign language, music, art are interest led. But because they are in our family, I expect them to get lots of exposure to history, science, foreign language. I talk about history and science a lot. They are strong interests of mine. We also farm, so there is lots of plant science involved. I also speak some Spanish, and my brother and sil are near fluent in Spanish. My husbands uncle is deaf, so we also have a lot of exposure to ASL. Music and art they tend to be interested in just because they are children, which is good because I am not really a big enthusiast of either.

[...................]

Hmmm other than the usual core/required subjects... I guess -

 

Typing

 

Bible/Worldview

 

Also:  How to do as much as possible as far as cleaning/cooking

[Rosie_0801]

Learning to understand people.

[Ethel Mertz]

History from the Underside: learning about the civil rights movements in this country, the early history of labor unions, women's struggles for equal rights, apartheid in South Africa, Japanese internment camps during World War II, the resistance movements to Hitler, migrant workers in this country, pacifism, various liberation movements, etc.

 

World Religions (in addition to formation in his own faith)

 

Spanish, Latin, and Greek

 

Shakespeare

 

Community volunteer work