Joanne Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 First, I am grateful. My sister and Dad purchases an early birthday gift for me; a ticket to FL to see them this week while my ex has the youngers. My Dad is in his 80's and I haven't seen him since my graduation. My sister has had her own issues with weight and her successes have been through WW. She was even a Leader in the 70's. I get it; I respect it. Over the years, I have made dozens of supportive but true statements - good work! Great Job! I am glad it is a match for your body. I have mentioned low carb works for me; moderation and the point system does not work for ME. I wanted to stay on plan this week. She told me she got low fat cheese, yogurt, pretzels, carrots, lf dressing, and low fati milk and cereal!!!...... I can't stay on program - or even happy on that diet style. I am frustrated and angry. She should KNOW low carb is different and should have asked what I needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 You know that saying....... "It's the thought that counts". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 You know that saying....... "It's the thought that counts". I am venting. I have been working HARD to lose weight. Literally working my butt off. I CAN NOT stay on program or happy on that diet. If she went shopping anyway, she could have purchased things where I could be successful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Joanne, I'm sorry. It is very hard to feel disrespected and not heard, especially by our own family members. I'm sorry she's so passive-aggressive and clueless. Wishing you as good a week with them as possible, and hoping that you will be able to find other, better things in common with them. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I hear you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticmomma Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Good intentions or not, that must be really frustrating. Will you be able to shop down there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Ugh that sounds frustrating. I hope she did it accidentally and not as a passive aggressive move. Either way, your first stop when you get there should be a grocery store. Don't let her derail all your progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Ugh that sounds frustrating. I hope she did it accidentally and not as a passive aggressive move. Either way, your first stop when you get there should be a grocery store. Don't let her derail all your progress. Is she trying to prove that points will work for you?? I'd gently explain to her that that food will send your blood sugar skyrocketing and then hit the grocery store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I'm sorry your sister doesn't understand your lifestyle. I'm glad you get to spend time with her and maybe help her understand you better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esperella Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 My mom lost 100 lbs on weight watchers, and I cannot lose anything on it. I did it strict, with no variation, for a month and lost nothing. But I did the Whole 30 and lost 14 lbs. I've been doing paleo (with diet coke, I know, I know! Ill give it up soon!) and having great success and feeling so good, but my mom and aunt still push ww on me. It's so weird, how some people don't realize that some diets really don't work for some people. I don't know why they don't work, but they don't!! I hope you have a great time and that you're able eat in a way that makes you feel healthy, without a side of passive aggression :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Maybe she though you meant low fat and not low carb? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 :grouphug: I hope you can hit up a nearby grocery store on the way from the airport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 She can't tie you down and stuff the pretzels in your mouth. I have read some of your other posts--you are an emotionally strong woman. Don't let her beat you down. I agree with others--go shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I understand and agree! :( A couple of years ago I had been doing really good staying gluten free (I cut gluten and increased non gluten crap but still lost some weight and felt a lot better!) and for MY birthday, my father and his wife decided to take us to a family style Italian restaurant. The menu was basically gluten stuffed gluten topped in gluten with a side of gluten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Women are SO HARD on each other. Dare to make a different decision and it get so personal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Maybe she doesn't know what eating low carb means? Before I started doing HFLC, I had no clue what the diet actually looked like, and I have a degree in nutrition. I mean, I knew what foods contained a lot of carbs, but I had no real concept of putting together meals based on that. I didn't know how many carbs per day were considered LC, I mean, what kind of healthy diet limits your fruit (would have been my thinking pre-LC)? When we go to my parents, I know I have to go shopping to stay on track, even though she buys tons of "healthy" foods for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 :grouphug: Can you thank her for her efforts and still go shopping to get the things you need? I do get it. My MIL can't stand to see full-fat yogurt, whole milk, etc in her fridge when we visit. My FIL has made juvenile, insultingcomments about my choice of breakfast food. We don't ask them to buy us "special" food. They just don't like to see it. My MIL complimented my husband on his 25-pound weight loss and then immediately started questioning his food choices. Some people just do.not.get.it. Ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Thanks, folks! I am totally capable of feeling angry but not letting it consume or taint our time together - that was not the point of the vent. It is not likely to be a passive aggressive decision on her part. It is more likely rationale product of decades of low fat indoctrination. Going shopping for visitors and other pre-planning efforts are common for my family - I arranged the same thing when she visited after my accident. A lot of our meals will be in restaurants where LC is easy and the food she purchased won't be wasted because it works for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Ah, no one can push our buttons like family. I'd either show up with food in my luggage or get to a grocery there. I wouldn't say anything or engage, just smile and do my own thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 As a fellow low carber, I feel your pain. I hope you will be able to shop so you can stay on plan. Just keep doing what works for you and ignore the naysayers. Your improved health will speak for itself. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Thanks, folks! I am totally capable of feeling angry but not letting it consume or taint our time together - that was not the point of the vent. It is not likely to be a passive aggressive decision on her part. It is more likely rationale product of decades of low fat indoctrination. Going shopping for visitors and other pre-planning efforts are common for my family - I arranged the same thing when she visited after my accident. A lot of our meals will be in restaurants where LC is easy and the food she purchased won't be wasted because it works for her. Glad it won't ruin your time, and really glad it wasn't a passive aggressive thing on her part. Cluelessness is much easier to overlook than psycho attempts at control. Is it too late to say -- "oops, would you mind grabbing some XYZ, too?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Sorry. It sounds inconsiderate. She should have talked to you about it before making assumptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 That stinks. I hope you will be able to go shopping so you can stay on track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Maybe she though you meant low fat and not low carb? :grouphug: Can you send her a grocery list or maybe pack some protein shakes? Or stop at a grocery for a " few things" once you get there? Can you offer to cook? Or bring your most needed stuff in a carry on bag? I am so hard for people to feed because I am grain, soy, dairy, sugar and nightshade free. Plus I have weird allergies. The best part of my diet is I have lost a ton of weight and my depression, fibromyalgia and hashimotos are all in remission!! I do not go off plan! Anyway, I have learned that I have to be clear about what I can and can not eat, say no to off plan food even if it annoys or offends someone, and always have some kind of back up eating plan. It is a pain in the butt, but the reward is me being healthy. Most people just really do not get it. They think I am choosing to be difficult when I am just trying to stay healthy. Most people also mean well, and feel they are caring for you by preparing yummy stuff. Keep in mind she was trying to show you love, then go get whatever food you need to make you happy, and maybe make some lo carb yumminess you sister and dad can enjoy. Try to have a great trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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