Rape Culture at Patrick Henry College

[CaffeineDiary]

This article, in The New Republic, seems relevant to this board:

 

Sexual Assault at God's Harvard

 

Researchers estimate that one in five American women is sexually assaulted in college, and Patrick Henry College’s unique campus culture has not insulated the school from sexual violence. In fact, it puts female students, like Claire Spear, in a particular bind: How do you report sexual assault at a place where authorities seem skeptical that such a thing even exists?

 

 

Claire was not the first female student to leave PHC disillusioned with the administration she had trusted to protect her. Other female students who say they reported sexual assault or harassment to the administration also left feeling that school officials blamed them instead of holding the accused male students accountable. The administration, they say, seemed much more concerned with protecting Patrick Henry’s pristine public image.

 

[JumpyTheFrog]

 

 

Afterward, Claire agonized over why she hadn’t “fought him” off. “I was afraid that it had something to do with my sinful nature,” she says. In the Christian world Claire had been brought up in, men only do bad things to impure women who have tempted them. She blamed herself, tried to act normal, and told no one.

 

 

 

Things didn’t compute. John was her friend; he was engaged; he was a Christian, just like her. In her confusion, she managed to tell him to stop.

 

Disgusting. These legalistic Christians think all their rules are "protecting" women, but the victim blaming just makes the problem worse.

[JumpyTheFrog]

We need to make sure we all teach our kids to call the police when someone has been assaulted. We can't trust colleges, churches, or any other organization to deal with the situation. Over and over they have proven that they want to sweep these crimes under the rug to preserve their image.

[dragons in the flower bed]

The deans went off to deliberate. Corbitt determined that Sarah had made an “error in judgment” by being alone in a boy’s room in violation of PHC rules. “You are in part responsible for what happened, because you put yourself in a compromising situation,” Corbitt said, according to Sarah. “Actions have consequences.”

 

 

The implication here is that if a male is alone with a female the automatic consequence is rape... and as a mother of sons, that infuriates me. As my sons grow into teens and young men, when people worry about males being responsible for children or alone with girls, I want to punch the worriers in the face. Does no one realize that's an accusation?

 

The "patriarchal" (in quotes because if you really trusted men you wouldn't need to shield their eyes with your clothing choices) culture of PHC makes the troublesome issue more crystal clear, but it doesn't seem like PHC is any more or less rapist-friendly than some secular colleges who like to protect their images or their star kids.

[Kareni]

Thank you for sharing the article, CaffeineDiary.  It was a sobering read.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[JumpyTheFrog]

 it doesn't seem like PHC is any more or less rapist-friendly than some secular colleges who like to protect their images or their star kids.

 

The difference is, PHC encourages even more victim blaming than other colleges. "Your clothes were too tight, you should've have been alone with a man, you should've have had one beer, you were out past curfew, if it was really rape, God would've kept you conscious." The religious victim blaming is even worse than secular victim blaming.

[CaffeineDiary]

I think rape culture certainly isn't limited to religious institutions.  As we saw with the sort of victim-blaming that went on in the Steubenville rape case, even firmly secular institutions and people will miss no chance to make a woman feel that being sexually assaulted is her own fault.  I would agree that when it happens at religious institutions, it adds a healthy (unhealthy?) additional dose of hypocrisy, however.

 

 

[albeto.]

I'm glad these cases are getting some light shined on them. BJU's recent firing of GRACE, an independent organization looking into allegations of sexual abuse on their campus shows a troubling ideology that seems to permeate certain communities (Bob Jones University tells students of sexual assault "if you report it, you hurt the body of Christ.")

 

 â€œThe person who supposedly counseled me told me if I reported (another fundamentalist Christian) to the police, I was damaging the cause of Christ, and I would be responsible for the abuser going to hell,” said Catherine Harris, who attended the university in the 1980s. “He said all of my problems were as a result of my actions in the abuse, which mostly took place before I was 12, and I should just forgive the abuser.”

 

This is about more than calling the police when this happens. This is about preventing this predatory behavior by teaching our kids about relationships, human behavior, theory of mind, and learning how to analyzing information and facts rather than assumptions and beliefs and good intentions to inspire public policy and private behavior.  We would be appalled as a society if the excuse for sexual abuse was, "Well she dyed her hair blonde and we all know blondes have more fun, ergo they just want some and I was giving her what she wanted." We would be appalled because we don't tolerate hair color as an advertisement of one's sexual intentions. But some communities do tolerate clothing, gender, friendliness, and a backassward piecing together of data to fit an agenda (blaming the victim) as an advertisement of one's sexual intentions. And they teach it to the next generation! And people PAY for this education! GAH!

 

I'm glad these are coming out into the light because these communities should be horrified at protecting and enabling a culture of rape and abuse, and they won't know what they're doing is wrong until there's enough pressure on them to realize its no longer socially tolerable.  The more people become aware of the consequences of these faulty ideologies, the less they will support them with their money and their children.  

 

 

 

[TranquilMind]

Disgusting. These legalistic Christians think all their rules are "protecting" women, but the victim blaming just makes the problem worse.

She needed to make some noise, loudly about this.  No way would I ever be silenced if someone attacked me.  I realize I am thinking as a middle-aged woman and not a college-aged woman, but my daughter wouldn't be cowed by the administration.  I am sure of that. 

[Anacharsis]

As long as people teach their children to watch out for rapists instead of for rape, rape culture is a risk. When people view rape as something that only rapists can do, rather than as a terrible potential that each and every person has within themselves, it encourages them to believe that as long as they avoid rapists, rape can't happen. Then when it does happen, people are stuck -- is their friend or loved one, a person they consider to be just like themselves, a rapist? Or was the act not rape? Caught between a rock and a hard place, the mind shuts down.

 

Sadly, many people rationalize away the action, and abandon survivors at a time when they need friends the most  --  the alternative,  that a person they viewed to be just like themselves was capable of so monstrous an action, is just too much to bear. In a world of rapists and honest men, to find that a man you have identified as your own is a rapist is to put cracks in the foundations of your own self. If the friend just like you is a monster, then what are you?

 

To my mind, this is one of the times when an education is truly put to the test. My heart goes out to any person who is forced to bear such a burden. I only hope that their education has prepared them to ask themselves some tough questions, and come to the right answers.

[ColleenInWis]

As long as people teach their children to watch out for rapists instead of for rape, rape culture is a risk. When people view rape as something that only rapists can do, rather than as a terrible potential that each and every person has within themselves, it encourages them to believe that as long as they avoid rapists, rape can't happen. Then when it does happen, people are stuck...

 

Wow--that is cutting right to the quick:  what is my view of human nature?  

 

I have seen in our society the tendency to put rapists, pedophiles, child abusers in a separate category.  They are the worst-of-the-worst, and the average person recoils in disgust, as from monsters.  I never thought about it, that this leads people to feel safe from assault because, after all, they are surrounded by "ordinary people."  Thanks.  

 

ETA:  There is no excuse for christians to fall into this trap of thinking.  We are the ones, after all, who believe in the sin nature, the depravity of man.  "Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall," and "There is no sin that takes you but that which is common to man," the apostle Paul taught.  

 

Modern christian culture, unfortunately, has swung into the "us vs. them" mentality--"Our denomination is the right one;" "Christians have the answers; nonchristians don't;" "Homeschool will protect your kids; public school will lead them into impurity."  So the dichotomy of the "bad people" over there leads us to think we are with the "good people."  

 

 

[Catherine]

Anyone who reads the paper must understand that PHC is no different from every other institution of higher learning, or from the culture as a whole. They may use different rationalizations for silencing students who've been assaulted, but otherwise, there is no difference.

[albeto.]

Anyone who reads the paper must understand that PHC is no different from every other institution of higher learning, or from the culture as a whole. They may use different rationalizations for silencing students who've been assaulted, but otherwise, there is no difference.

 

There are many fundamental differences between PHC and other institutes of higher learning. One is, like Anacharsis points out, the understanding of human behavior. A Christian institute of higher learning will naturally revolve around Christian beliefs about human behavior, imposing the effect of a thing that must be taken on faith - spiritual presence or absence of a creator god and his evil counterpart, the devil. This is something secular universities and colleges need not invoke in their equations when dealing with abusive behavior patterns. An institution founded on beliefs will naturally apply a stronger confirmation bias to support those beliefs than one that has no allegiance to any belief. There's a reason PHC and BJU hide these accusation and events and interpret them differently - arguably they don't fit within the pre-ordained and acceptable belief system. Christians who have been made into "new creations" in Christ don't rape women, ergo, if a woman is assaulted, either he's not been made into a "new creature," or the temptations she gave off were too strong for his human nature to control. This is of course an example plucked from any number of example arguments, none of which are present in secular institutes of higher learning, or at least if they are, it's not a part of the institute but a component of one's personal beliefs. That's only one difference. 

[albeto.]

Modern christian culture, unfortunately, has swung into the "us vs. them" mentality--"Our denomination is the right one;" "Christians have the answers; nonchristians don't;" "Homeschool will protect your kids; public school will lead them into impurity."  So the dichotomy of the "bad people" over there leads us to think we are with the "good people."  

 

This component has always been an integral part of the Christian religion. It's just that the "them" get assigned new faces every few generations. That's not meant as a knock off of Christianity, but a general comment about the nature and function of religion in general. They do serve to identify "us" from "them," even if it is an amicable differentiation. But as far as society swinging into this tribal istic thinking ("us" v. "them"), one can look at the history of the American colonies and note how the colonies were founded on principles of religious separation. 

[shawthorne44]

I think that it is a huge mistake to trust the administration to protect.  When your interests and their interests are in conflict, they are going to protect themselves.  

[El...]

She needed to make some noise, loudly about this.  No way would I ever be silenced if someone attacked me.  I realize I am thinking as a middle-aged woman and not a college-aged woman, but my daughter wouldn't be cowed by the administration.  I am sure of that. 

 

This is my gut reaction, too.  Especially that part about my daughter being tougher than that!  However, someone close to me who is extremely strong was silenced.  She thought, somehow, that what happened to her was her own fault because she didn't see it coming; she "led him on" by being alone with him; she flirted with him; he said she owed him; she said "no", and then, well.  This horrifies me.  She is no wuss.

 

This bears a LOT of thought.  How can I teach my daughter to be wise, to be wary, to be careful, which she needs to be, without teaching her to feel responsible for someone else's evil? 

[Muttichen]

 Christians who have been made into "new creations" in Christ don't rape women, ergo, if a woman is assaulted, either he's not been made into a "new creature," or the temptations she gave off were too strong for his human nature to control. 

Sorry, but you just don't understand conservative Christians.  That's not what we believe at all.

 

The problem with PHC isn't that they believe Christians don't sin, it's that they've tried to build a reputation as a place where conservative, homeschooling parents can send their very sheltered children where they will be safe from the temptations found at secular colleges.  Stories like this can hurt business.

[dragons in the flower bed]

We would be appalled as a society if the excuse for sexual abuse was, "Well she dyed her hair blonde and we all know blondes have more fun, ergo they just want some and I was giving her what she wanted." We would be appalled because we don't tolerate hair color as an advertisement of one's sexual intentions. But some communities do tolerate clothing, gender, friendliness, and a backassward piecing together of data to fit an agenda (blaming the victim) as an advertisement of one's sexual intentions. And they teach it to the next generation! And people PAY for this education! GAH!

 

Yes! Yes! That! They don't tolerate it. They TEACH it. When conservatives explain that short skirts, rowdy voice, etc., means a girl is asking for it, they are saying to their boys, "here is how you know who is saying YES to being f_cked". The receipient of the s_xual attention actually using the words "yes" or "no" is NOT EVEN ON THE LIST; it's all signals.

 

If your family, college, church, and whole culture tells you a girl is consenting to being s_xually used just by being alone in the room with you after dark, and no one ever tells you a girl has the power to say no with words, then maybe you could get earnestly confused as to whether it's rape when you take advantage of a late night study session with a surprisingly willing-to-be-alone girl. The boy in that article was saying he was sorry, he thought it was consensual, and you know, I half believe he did think that.

[TranquilMind]

This is my gut reaction, too.  Especially that part about my daughter being tougher than that!  However, someone close to me who is extremely strong was silenced.  She thought, somehow, that what happened to her was her own fault because she didn't see it coming; she "led him on" by being alone with him; she flirted with him; he said she owed him; she said "no", and then, well.  This horrifies me.  She is no wuss.

 

This bears a LOT of thought.  How can I teach my daughter to be wise, to be wary, to be careful, which she needs to be, without teaching her to feel responsible for someone else's evil? 

Yeah, I had that experience too, with a friend. My best friend at the time, as a matter of fact.  We were extremely close, so you can imagine my shock when I was driving home late one night and heard her voice on a radio call-in program, talking about her rape.  She had never told anyone.  It was a date rape situation, so she somehow bought the idea that she played a role.  I felt so bad for her, as she had carried this for years, telling no one. 

 

This triggers this memory, which I have shared with my teens:  I actually did a stupid thing myself once in my single years, when I let a HUGE guy into my home because he said he had to go to the bathroom. I had met him out, and he said he'd follow me home, just to be sure I was safe.    He did go to the bathroom, and then he threw me down on my sofa, and jumped on top of me.  I should have been terrified, but for some strange reason, I began to laugh hysterically (thank you, God!). It unsettled him, and I just couldn't stop.  I guess he thought I was nuts, so he left.  I still remember him standing at the doorway, with a confused look on his face.   Ha ha. 

 

I laughed all the next day, telling my co-workers about this.  And thanked God for that weird reaction.  Praise the Lord.

[TranquilMind]

Never mind.  Double post

 

 

 

[mommymilkies]

I think rape culture certainly isn't limited to religious institutions.  As we saw with the sort of victim-blaming that went on in the Steubenville rape case, even firmly secular institutions and people will miss no chance to make a woman feel that being sexually assaulted is her own fault.  I would agree that when it happens at religious institutions, it adds a healthy (unhealthy?) additional dose of hypocrisy, however.

I will agree here.  My home University had a big issue with this.  It's a public state university.  It is beyond shameful. 

[albeto.]

Yes! Yes! That! They don't tolerate it. They TEACH it. When conservatives explain that short skirts, rowdy voice, etc., means a girl is asking for it, they are saying to their boys, "here is how you know who is saying YES to being f_cked". The receipient of the s_xual attention actually using the words "yes" or "no" is NOT EVEN ON THE LIST; it's all signals.
 
If your family, college, church, and whole culture tells you a girl is consenting to being s_xually used just by being alone in the room with you after dark, and no one ever tells you a girl has the power to say no with words, then maybe you could get earnestly confused as to whether it's rape when you take advantage of a late night study session with a surprisingly willing-to-be-alone girl. The boy in that article was saying he was sorry, he thought it was consensual, and you know, I half believe he did think that.

 

I think it's even deeper than that. I don't think any parent of a son who has been accused and charged with sexual assault would agree they provided an environment to inspire their sons to read body language like this, much less taught them. I know that's not what you're saying,  that it's the message they pick up anyway, but I think it goes even deeper than communication through signals. I think it goes all the way to what Anacharsis is talking about, and that is our fundamental understanding of human nature. What makes us tick. What makes us think and feel and desire and fear what we do? Why do we make some choices we later regret? Why do we fail to make choices we wish we had? Why do we have particular intentions in the first place? Throw "sin" into the equation and you've got the variable of spiritual or demonic manipulation that just may be beyond one's control. But it's not just how we understand human nature. It's also how we interpret reality. We're talking here about the practice of interpreting events backwards with a conclusion already in place, and then the details are picked out to support it. When that's a foundation of one's critical thinking skills, looking at details like personality or fashion choices may simply not be applied into the equation at all. When logic is emotion driven rather than data driven, one's ability to predict various outcomes is limited. But yeah, throw body language as a means of warped communication in there, and you've got the recipe of a hot mess.

[kiana]

This bears a LOT of thought.  How can I teach my daughter to be wise, to be wary, to be careful, which she needs to be, without teaching her to feel responsible for someone else's evil? 

 

I think about this so much.

[G5052]

This bears a LOT of thought.  How can I teach my daughter to be wise, to be wary, to be careful, which she needs to be, without teaching her to feel responsible for someone else's evil? 

 

If you're a woman who has been raised with strong "submission to authority" talk and modesty is taught in the context of men being "irresponsible," this sort of thing is going to happen.  It shouldn't, but it does.  And thus the rape culture at a Christian school.  It was the same at the Christian school I was attending 30+ years ago, and it horrified me.  

 

Later when I attended a state school and became the head resident assistant, I was shocked by how different the policies were. At the state college, we took victims to the local hospital where a team involving the local police handled everything.  If the victim pressed charges, the college would then support local law enforcement as needed.  The college was not in charge.

 

Certainly teaching daughters about the dangers of drugs and alcohol as well as the date rape drugs is essential.  So many of these incidents start there.

 

And also that rape is always, always wrong and should be reported to the local police, not the campus police.  I realize that sometimes the local police will defer to the campus police, but I'd push the issue.  Many of these incidents happen off campus anyway where the campus technically doesn't have any authority.  Of course there are cases where local authorities still don't handle rape properly, but I think that is more the exception than the rule these days.  I know that in my area, they take it seriously.

[chiguirre]

I'm no fan of PHC, but I'm not sure those guys would have been charged with anything by municipal police either. Yes, they're jerks, but I'm not sure what they did could qualify as sexual assault. To be perfectly honest, I'm astounded that those girls had their lives so thoroughly wrecked by pretty typical experiences. That's what's truly shocking about these stories. They seem to lack the ability to tell a guy to eff off and go on with their lives. That lack of self esteem and the ability to stand up for yourself has more far reaching consequences than being miserable at PHC.

[Scarlett]

Yeah, I had that experience too, with a friend. My best friend at the time, as a matter of fact. We were extremely close, so you can imagine my shock when I was driving home late one night and heard her voice on a radio call-in program, talking about her rape. She had never told anyone. It was a date rape situation, so she somehow bought the idea that she played a role. I felt so bad for her, as she had carried this for years, telling no one.

This triggers this memory, which I have shared with my teens: I actually did a stupid thing myself once in my single years, when I let a HUGE guy into my home because he said he had to go to the bathroom. I had met him out, and he said he'd follow me home, just to be sure I was safe. He did go to the bathroom, and then he threw me down on my sofa, and jumped on top of me. I should have been terrified, but for some strange reason, I began to laugh hysterically (thank you, God!). It unsettled him, and I just couldn't stop. I guess he thought I was nuts, so he left. I still remember him standing at the doorway, with a confused look on his face. Ha ha.

I laughed all the next day, telling my co-workers about this. And thanked God for that weird reaction. Praise the Lord.

OMG. So scary.

[JumpyTheFrog]

The one woman was unconscious on and off and was unable to push the man away. How is that not assault?

[Jean in Newcastle]

The cycle was started in the homes of these young people long before they went to PHC (or any other college) when they were allowed to remain naive.  It was also started in a culture of legalism in the homes that taught what I believe is a perversion of what the Bible teaches on sexuality, personal sin and responsibility.  PHC sees themselves as a surrogate of these families and I have the sad feeling that they responded in a way that many of these families might have responded.  While I agree that I am shocked that these women did not have the ability to stand up for themselves, groping is part of the definition of sexual assault in many states and rubbing is part of the definition of sexual harassment.  I think it is wrong to dismiss these women's legally legitimate complaints as "pretty typical experiences".   (This said as a conservative Christian and as an actual rape victim.)

[chiguirre]

We only have the girls' side of the story in both cases, but both have a big hole in them. The dry humper did stop when she asked according to her story. He's seriously dating-judgment impaired, but he did stop when asked. I really don't think regular cops would do anything in that case, I don't think my university would have taken that very seriously at all since the guy stopped when she asked.

The girl who voluntarily got in the guy's bed and fell asleep didn't accuse him of drugging her and didn't seem to be drunk or high at the time. But, she woke up several times and didn't even get up and go to her own bed or yell for help in a house full of people. That's more than a bit odd if you feel threatened and would raise red flags with non-PHC types too.

What would happen to these girls if a scumbag tried to feel them up on a subway or some slimeball cat called them? I think just about every woman has had those things happen to her at some point in her life. How are they going to handle more mainstream dating behavior where freaking out because a guy tries to go too far wouldn't be the best approach to getting him to back off and get herself home safely? Running around in a field freaking out because a guy behaved like a randy Chihuahua is not a good way to assure your personal safety.

The case that really reflected poorly on PHC's judgment was their handling of the threatening emails and texts. They're very, very lucky that guy didn't act on his threats and I'm sure that regular police would have gotten involved with that.

I'm not at all conservative, and if my dd told me that those things had happened to her I wouldn't flip out. I would reiterate that she shouldn't get in a car with someone she doesn't thoroughly trust and getting in a guy's bed is a strong indication that you'd like to get to know him better. I wouldn't be worried about her purity and I sure wouldn't be upset that she's a "used car". I'd just be worried about her lack of common sense. I think all the purity stuff leaches the self preservation instinct out of girls and makes guys less aware of social cues when dating (or whatever the heck they were trying to do).

[CaffeineDiary]

I'm no fan of PHC, but I'm not sure those guys would have been charged with anything by municipal police either. Yes, they're jerks, but I'm not sure what they did could qualify as sexual assault.

 

This attitude betrays both not only ignorance of the law, but also of common sense.  I'm a middle-aged man.  I absolutely assure you, if some guy dry-humped me without my consent, it would be a sexual assault.  Even if he didn't ejaculate.

 

We only have the girls' side of the story in both cases, but both have a big hole in them. The dry humper did stop when she asked according to her story. He's seriously dating-judgment impaired, but he did stop when asked. I really don't think regular cops would do anything in that case, I don't think my university would have taken that very seriously at all since the guy stopped when she asked.

 

Right. The university didn't take her report of sexual assault seriously.  That's the exact problem.

 

To be perfectly honest, I'm astounded that those girls had their lives so thoroughly wrecked by pretty typical experiences.

 

 

I'm not really sure how to respond to this.  First of all, I think at least half of what wrecked their lives was not the assaults themselves, but the devil-may-care, victim-blaming reaction that the institutes they assumed (wrongly) were in loco parentis displayed, and I think you're totally blowing that off.  But even focusing on just the assaults themselves, I find it hard to believe that you'd be so carefree if it was happening to you or to your loved ones.  Bodily autonomy is such a core assumption of liberty that I'm astounded that you don't seem to think it's a big deal that someone can take it away, and take it away without consequence.  According to the sources I can find, one in four college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.  That it's such a "pretty typical experience" doesn't make it better.  It makes it worse.

 

I mean, I don't know how else to say this, but this attitude of "Meh" is rape culture in a nutshell.  If one of out every four college men were raped or suffered attempted rape, we would be having Congressional hearings right now and every day until eternity to determine what can we do to solve the rape epidemic.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

This is my gut reaction, too.  Especially that part about my daughter being tougher than that!  However, someone close to me who is extremely strong was silenced.  She thought, somehow, that what happened to her was her own fault because she didn't see it coming; she "led him on" by being alone with him; she flirted with him; he said she owed him; she said "no", and then, well.  This horrifies me.  She is no wuss.

 

This bears a LOT of thought.  How can I teach my daughter to be wise, to be wary, to be careful, which she needs to be, without teaching her to feel responsible for someone else's evil? 

 

One of the things that I've had to work on with my sons, since we have moved so much, is that there are in fact a great number of people in the world who are willing to steal from them, get physical with them, lie about them or otherwise act against their interests.   [ETA: the moving around has been an issue, because they so often are shifting cultures and missing out on what is normal and what is a warning sign.]

 

One the outside the people they have encountered who were bullies or who would lie to them and about them or who would push someone against the wall or break a chair when they were angry, all looked pretty much like my kids. They were fellow scouts or the kid down the road.  But they didn't care if they hurt someone else, and my kids had to learn that they could end up as that someone else.

 

One line in the article struck me. One woman mentioned that had she not been drinking, she would have been thinking more clearly and not gotten into a car with someone she'd had problems with in the past.  A couple years ago, I ran into an old shipmate who was running a sexual assault victims office for a college. She was responsible for both anti-assault education efforts and post-assault reporting and initiating a discipline process. One of her comments was that about 60% of the cases she sees involve alcohol on one or both sides.

 

I am NOT saying that someone who drinks deserves to be assaulted. Nor would I say that a young man who gets drunk and mugged deserved to have his wallet stolen or deserved to be shot for his jacket. The evil is still on the part of the attacker. But I think that we often shy away from telling young people that when they drink, they lower their ability to sense when they are headed into danger. They are less mindful of the dark road they are walking down. They are less aware of the actions and comments of those around them. They miss warning signals. And this is before you add in any specific action by the potential victim like comments they make or actions they take.

 

I think there is sometimes a reluctance to be blunt with young men and women about how alcohol (or drugs) breaks down the natural defenses that normal alertness would give them.  I've even seen this called out as blaming the victim. But it seems that in order to not be seen as blaming the victim, we let some good valuable insight go unsaid.

 

The alcohol issue is especially a problem in environments were drinking becomes something that has to get packed into a small period of time. This was an issue when I was in the Navy. You might be out for several weeks and have one night of liberty before getting underway again. Or a college student might feel that they needed to fit in all their partying on Friday or Saturday night. Tossing back several high power drinks in an hour or two is very different than sipping a glass of wine over dinner or while chatting with friends over the course of an evening. 

[chiguirre]

But even focusing on just the assaults themselves, I find it hard to believe that you'd be so carefree if it was happening to you or to your loved ones.

These things HAVE happened to me and my friends in college. Twenty years ago these things didn't qualify for such a freak-out. I hope my dd knows how to keep herself safe and stand up for her rights as a college student, but I also hope she doesn't feel like a perpetual victim because guys can be jerks.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

These things HAVE happened to me and my friends in college. Twenty years ago these things didn't qualify for such a freak-out. I hope my dd knows how to keep herself safe and stand up for her rights as a college student, but I also hope she doesn't feel like a perpetual victim because guys can be jerks.

Part of the problem is that they should have been cause for a freak out.

[Alice]

I'm not a fan of PHC and I think what happened to the women is awful and as reported the administrations reaction is awful. 

 

That said, I think the problem I had with the article is that it seems to imply that there is something about PHC that creates a "rape culture" and that something is the a conservative Christian homeschooling culture. I don't think conservatives, Christians or homeschoolers are immune from rape or from trying to cover up that rape. However, I also think it happens at secular universities and other places as well. I'm not at all saying that makes it ok , but I think it's simplistic to say that the fact that women were told to dress modestly or where there is a Christian bent or where there are icky patriarchal overtones means that men are encouraged to be rapists. If that was true, why is there rape at schools that are very liberal? I just think the issue of violence against women is much more complicated than this article even tries to explore. I became skeptical about the article when I read the author's description of homeschooling...as essentially being only in conservative Christian circles and then those circles being automatically patriarchal. I'm not skeptical of the girl's portrayal of their attacks but I did wonder if the author left out any positive administrative/adult response because it didn't fit the story. A tiny bit more research and a few qualifying adjectives would have given a more fair description of homeschooling, perhaps the same thing could have mediated the view of PHC as a whole. 

 

Someone up thread referenced Steubenville which I think is the most infamous example of the "rape culture". I think this article from the New Yorker last year is fascinating. It describes how the idea of the entire town being supportive of the rapists and a hotbed of rape was really blown out of proportion by the Internet and some particular vigilante groups. It doesn't try to justify what the rapists did but shows how much of what was reported online was inaccurate and inflammatory. One of the lead prosecutors in town was vilified and has gotten death threats (as well as threats for her kids) when in reality she did her job according to legal limits and moved to have the boys tried as adults in a town where that was not a popular decision. It's not really completely relevant to the PHC discussion, except that it made me more aware that there is always another side to every story. 

 

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2013/08/05/130805fa_fact_levy

[creekland]

Someone up thread referenced Steubenville which I think is the most infamous example of the "rape culture".

 

My mind quickly remembered the Penn St/Sandusky deal... and how many in our state still think Penn St handled it just fine... and that it should be "no big deal" to the guys involved or that they would have/should have done more sooner if it had, indeed, been a big deal to them.

 

No matter where it happens or to whom it happens, it's sad.
 

[sunflowerlady]

Recently I saw something online about a professor at PHC who blames feminists for high incarceration rates. His reasoning seems to be that feminists lobbied for laws to criminalize various types of assault. Therefore, because more actions were defined as being criminal, more men went to jail. He sees this as a bad thing Basically he believes some actions that are considered crimes should not be classified as such. He is also known as a lawyer who is active in a movement known as men's' rights

I need to work today so I don't have time right now to search online to try to find it. I don't even remember his name. If I find time I will look around online to see if I can locate anything. I don't even recall where I read about it.

It was totally creepy to read this thread after having read about that man. :(

[Jean in Newcastle]

Alice, I agree that PHC doesn't have any more of a rape culture than anywhere else.  I'd say that it is a different form of rape culture though, where the woman is cast as the seducer and therefore not a victim.  But statistically?  I have a feeling the statistics would show other colleges as having more of a problem with sexual assaults.  I think there is a general peer pressure at conservative colleges that keep many students in line.  You wouldn't have to specifically seek out the one group at a secular college that drinks, for example.  

 

Personally I think the attitudes of legalism etc. at these schools is a bigger problem.  And it is that attitude of legalism that kept the school officials from handling the problem with grace as well as wisdom.  

[Alice]

Alice, I agree that PHC doesn't have any more of a rape culture than anywhere else.  I'd say that it is a different form of rape culture though, where the woman is cast as the seducer and therefore not a victim.  But statistically?  I have a feeling the statistics would show other colleges as having more of a problem with sexual assaults.  I think there is a general peer pressure at conservative colleges that keep many students in line.  You wouldn't have to specifically seek out the one group at a secular college that drinks, for example.  

 

Personally I think the attitudes of legalism etc. at these schools is a bigger problem.  And it is that attitude of legalism that kept the school officials from handling the problem with grace as well as wisdom.  

 

I definitely agree with both of these. 

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Alice, I agree that PHC doesn't have any more of a rape culture than anywhere else.  I'd say that it is a different form of rape culture though, where the woman is cast as the seducer and therefore not a victim.  But statistically?  I have a feeling the statistics would show other colleges as having more of a problem with sexual assaults.  I think there is a general peer pressure at conservative colleges that keep many students in line.  You wouldn't have to specifically seek out the one group at a secular college that drinks, for example.  

 

Personally I think the attitudes of legalism etc. at these schools is a bigger problem.  And it is that attitude of legalism that kept the school officials from handling the problem with grace as well as wisdom.  

 

I think that any situation in which the person dealing with issues of counseling either the accused or the alleged victim also has the power to decide if someone is charged with a crime or if someone is expelled from a school presents a real risk of a conflict of interest.

 

That goes for a counseling session with someone who was violating rules for drinking who has also asserted that he or she was assaulted.  Or someone who was accused who is also a star athlete. 

 

The person who is sitting down in a counseling or mentor role should not also be deciding the criminal or academic fate of the person confiding in them.

 

 

 

As much as it is popular to slam the military for sexual assaults, I think that they have done a pretty good job with creating a system in which to report assaults or harassment. The victim has a choice of making an unrestricted report, where the event is investigated as a possible crime. Evidence is collected and statements are taken.  Or they can make a restricted report. This lets them get access to treatment and counseling, but does not initiate an investigation unless the victim decides to switch to an unrestricted report.

 

However, the restricted report also means that the victim will not be able to talk about the event with friends without creating an obligation for them to report the crime. They may still have to interact with the attacker in the command. 

 

In either case, a report results in a Victim's Advocate being assigned. This person helps the accuser consider their options and the ramifications of their choices. The counselors, chaplains and advocates involved are not the people who make command decisions about retaining someone in the military or moving forward with criminal proceedings.

 

And it is important to remember that accused do not lose their Constitutional rights to confront an accuser, simply because the crime is heinous. If anything, the severity of an accusation should warrant strict adherence to procedures and laws. Otherwise, you can end up in a situation where an accusation without substance or evidence is enough to convict. This sort of a system would also be prone to abuse.

[LMV]

Yes! Yes! That! They don't tolerate it. They TEACH it. When conservatives explain that short skirts, rowdy voice, etc., means a girl is asking for it, they are saying to their boys, "here is how you know who is saying YES to being f_cked". The receipient of the s_xual attention actually using the words "yes" or "no" is NOT EVEN ON THE LIST; it's all signals.

 

If your family, college, church, and whole culture tells you a girl is consenting to being s_xually used just by being alone in the room with you after dark, and no one ever tells you a girl has the power to say no with words, then maybe you could get earnestly confused as to whether it's rape when you take advantage of a late night study session with a surprisingly willing-to-be-alone girl. The boy in that article was saying he was sorry, he thought it was consensual, and you know, I half believe he did think that.

 

The bolded is a rather scary concept but unfortunately I do think it is out there in some sects.  A few years ago our oldest daughter was tutoring one of the boys from our co-op in algebra. He was fifteen, she had recently turned fourteen but they had been in the same literature course and she had occasionally helped him with math while they were waiting for their literature teacher (who was always late) to show up.  She was taking a combination Advanced Algebra and Trig class at the time so his material was review for her and she understood it well.  He came over to our home one afternoon while DH was home with the kids.  DD brought him into the library to work there where it was quiet.  He tried to kiss her, she explained she wasn't interested that way and she kind of had a boyfriend anyway. They went back to doing math until he forced a kiss.  At this point, she decided tutoring was over and brought him into the kitchen (where DH was making dinner) so he could call his mom to be picked up.  She told her dad about this after the boy had left.  DH wasn't completely thrilled with the first attempted kiss but decided that was him being a dad, however, he felt that the second forced kiss raised red flags and thought that if his son had done the same he would have wanted to know so he could have helped him understand how inappropriate he had been. 

 

I knew this boy's mom some through co-op and DH really didn't know the dad so I got to bring this up.  His mother was very much of the opinion that our daughter had led her son astray by inviting him to her home and by bringing him into a room where they were alone.  Now I guess I might sort of understand that perhaps he felt that she was helping him for an opportunity to spend time with him.  I don't believe that was her intention but I can see maybe he thought that. I also don't believe that she thought much of working with him in the library.  At the time she was often doing much of her school work in that room and she and friends had worked on projects in the library on other prior occasions. There is a door to this room but it rarely is closed and wasn't closed on the day in question.  But really all of this is rather moot because the issue that concerned us was not that he tried to kiss her initially but that he forced a kiss after she had told him plainly that she was not interested in that.  His mother believes that he did that because while she might have said no with words but her actions before that had said yes and he was reacting to that.  The conversation ended with his mother offering to pray for our daughter which was a bit weird.  We had already decided (for completely unrelated reasons) that she wasn't going to continue with the literature course after the semester break so the boy and his family just kind of faded out of our orbit and we all went on with our lives.  

[G5052]

The bolded is a rather scary concept but unfortunately I do think it is out there in some sects.  A few years ago our oldest daughter was tutoring one of the boys from our co-op in algebra. He was fifteen, she had recently turned fourteen but they had been in the same literature course and she had occasionally helped him with math while they were waiting for their literature teacher (who was always late) to show up.  She was taking a combination Advanced Algebra and Trig class at the time so his material was review for her and she understood it well.  He came over to our home one afternoon while DH was home with the kids.  DD brought him into the library to work there where it was quiet.  He tried to kiss her, she explained she wasn't interested that way and she kind of had a boyfriend anyway. They went back to doing math until he forced a kiss.  At this point, she decided tutoring was over and brought him into the kitchen (where DH was making dinner) so he could call his mom to be picked up.  She told her dad about this after the boy had left.  DH wasn't completely thrilled with the first attempted kiss but decided that was him being a dad, however, he felt that the second forced kiss raised red flags and thought that if his son had done the same he would have wanted to know so he could have helped him understand how inappropriate he had been. 

 

I knew this boy's mom some through co-op and DH really didn't know the dad so I got to bring this up.  His mother was very much of the opinion that our daughter had led her son astray by inviting him to her home and by bringing him into a room where they were alone.  Now I guess I might sort of understand that perhaps he felt that she was helping him for an opportunity to spend time with him.  I don't believe that was her intention but I can see maybe he thought that. I also don't believe that she thought much of working with him in the library.  At the time she was often doing much of her school work in that room and she and friends had worked on projects in the library on other prior occasions. There is a door to this room but it rarely is closed and wasn't closed on the day in question.  But really all of this is rather moot because the issue that concerned us was not that he tried to kiss her initially but that he forced a kiss after she had told him plainly that she was not interested in that.  His mother believes that he did that because while she might have said no with words but her actions before that had said yes and he was reacting to that.  The conversation ended with his mother offering to pray for our daughter which was a bit weird.  We had already decided (for completely unrelated reasons) that she wasn't going to continue with the literature course after the semester break so the boy and his family just kind of faded out of our orbit and we all went on with our lives.  

 

You handled this so well.  

 

This type of thing burns me up though.  When I was a professional woman in scientific research the same thing went on with some of the adult males I worked with.  They considered "alone with a woman" an opportunity even at work with the door was open.  Even if I told them to get out of there. And that is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.  Men and women should be able to work together in an environment of mutual respect. Thankfully I had a mentor who ultimately chewed out the worst offender in public, and the rest got the message.  Later on I had the same thing with a boss. A position opened elsewhere that actually more closely met my goals anyway, so I got out of there.  I heard that he continued to be on the prowl up until the day he retired despite multiple reprimands.  

 

And yes, in my conservative church there were those who blamed me.  So I learned to keep that sort of struggle to myself.

[FaithManor]

I'm glad these cases are getting some light shined on them. BJU's recent firing of GRACE, an independent organization looking into allegations of sexual abuse on their campus shows a troubling ideology that seems to permeate certain communities (Bob Jones University tells students of sexual assault "if you report it, you hurt the body of Christ.")

 

 â€œThe person who supposedly counseled me told me if I reported (another fundamentalist Christian) to the police, I was damaging the cause of Christ, and I would be responsible for the abuser going to hell,” said Catherine Harris, who attended the university in the 1980s. “He said all of my problems were as a result of my actions in the abuse, which mostly took place before I was 12, and I should just forgive the abuser.”

 

This is about more than calling the police when this happens. This is about preventing this predatory behavior by teaching our kids about relationships, human behavior, theory of mind, and learning how to analyzing information and facts rather than assumptions and beliefs and good intentions to inspire public policy and private behavior.  We would be appalled as a society if the excuse for sexual abuse was, "Well she dyed her hair blonde and we all know blondes have more fun, ergo they just want some and I was giving her what she wanted." We would be appalled because we don't tolerate hair color as an advertisement of one's sexual intentions. But some communities do tolerate clothing, gender, friendliness, and a backassward piecing together of data to fit an agenda (blaming the victim) as an advertisement of one's sexual intentions. And they teach it to the next generation! And people PAY for this education! GAH!

 

I'm glad these are coming out into the light because these communities should be horrified at protecting and enabling a culture of rape and abuse, and they won't know what they're doing is wrong until there's enough pressure on them to realize its no longer socially tolerable.  The more people become aware of the consequences of these faulty ideologies, the less they will support them with their money and their children.  

I liked this post, but that is not enough. it is SPOT on!!!

[FaithManor]

 

This attitude betrays both not only ignorance of the law, but also of common sense.  I'm a middle-aged man.  I absolutely assure you, if some guy dry-humped me without my consent, it would be a sexual assault.  Even if he didn't ejaculate.

 

 

Right. The university didn't take her report of sexual assault seriously.  That's the exact problem.

 

 

I'm not really sure how to respond to this.  First of all, I think at least half of what wrecked their lives was not the assaults themselves, but the devil-may-care, victim-blaming reaction that the institutes they assumed (wrongly) were in loco parentis displayed, and I think you're totally blowing that off.  But even focusing on just the assaults themselves, I find it hard to believe that you'd be so carefree if it was happening to you or to your loved ones.  Bodily autonomy is such a core assumption of liberty that I'm astounded that you don't seem to think it's a big deal that someone can take it away, and take it away without consequence.  According to the sources I can find, one in four college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.  That it's such a "pretty typical experience" doesn't make it better.  It makes it worse.

 

I mean, I don't know how else to say this, but this attitude of "Meh" is rape culture in a nutshell.  If one of out every four college men were raped or suffered attempted rape, we would be having Congressional hearings right now and every day until eternity to determine what can we do to solve the rape epidemic.

 

 

I would clap but that isn't the right sentiment!

[G5052]

And now the Washington Post too:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/stop-blaming-victims-for-sexual-assaults-on-campus/2014/02/24/b88efb1e-9d8f-11e3-9ba6-800d1192d08b_story.html.

 

I've always liked Petula Dvorak despite looking at politics a little differently than she does.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Has anyone actually released  how many sexual assaults there have been at the school?  And what ratio that is to the student body?  Any sexual assault needs to be taken seriously and addressed, of course.  And sure, being at an evangelical school is no guarantee of safety.  But is this a huge problem at Patrick Henry?  

 

BTW - Patrick Henry college doesn't appeal for me for many reasons but I find the singling out of this college in the Washington Post article as a bit strange.  News flash - a conservative evangelical school still has problems with sexual assault on occasion!  Well. . . . duh.  I found the article in the New Republic to be more informative because it focused specifically on the lack of administrative response and the cover up which made things worse for these girls.  

[Teachin'Mine]

And now the Washington Post too:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/stop-blaming-victims-for-sexual-assaults-on-campus/2014/02/24/b88efb1e-9d8f-11e3-9ba6-800d1192d08b_story.html.

 

I've always liked Petula Dvorak despite looking at politics a little differently than she does.

 

Excellent article.   It's about time this is getting national attention.

[bettyandbob]

Has anyone actually released  how many sexual assaults there have been at the school?  And what ratio that is to the student body?  Any sexual assault needs to be taken seriously and addressed, of course.  And sure, being at an evangelical school is no guarantee of safety.  But is this a huge problem at Patrick Henry?  

 

BTW - Patrick Henry college doesn't appeal for me for many reasons but I find the singling out of this college in the Washington Post article as a bit strange.  News flash - a conservative evangelical school still has problems with sexual assault on occasion!  Well. . . . duh.  I found the article in the New Republic to be more informative because it focused specifically on the lack of administrative response and the cover up which made things worse for these girls.  

 

The Post article listed a couple of other institutions--so, not singling out there.

 

The big problem is you probably cannot get a remotely accurate assault percent at Patrick Henry if the first step is to not call the police, but to question the victim and suggest her account is not accurate or that she caused the problem. The sort of thing just causes people to shut up.

 

At the state university 30 miles away a student claiming assault would be reported to the police department and an investigation would proceed from there (I've toured the school with my dd).

 

State universities in my state also survey student populations on things like sexual assault and other crimes to get an idea of unreported activity. They've been doing this a long time because they did it when I was in college in this state. Poll results were reported to the student population. They were used as part of a once a year program that student health representative brought to each dorm in the fall. I don't get the impression that PHC does anything like this--presentations on personal safety and responding to assault.

 

From the descriptions in both articles, there's no way to know if it's accurate because it's only the victim's word, but I don't PHC keeps track of these investigations or offers percentage for public review. I doubt you could do a search of the Loudoun County Sheriff's records and find anything either. The fact that nothing can be found is suspicious. because after 10 years and several hundred students I would expect some assault (whether sexual or just simple fighting ) to occur in any population of this age group. To suggest a completely clean record is suspicious to me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

OK - I've done some googling in the last 5 minutes.  Our local state university listed 14 forcible sexual assaults last year.  They do not keep track of non-forcible things like harassment - at least not on the records I was able to bring up.  When I tried to google nation wide statistics on colleges I got vague statistics like "for every 1000 women attending a college there are 35 rapes a year".  I did not get a college by college report showing what colleges might have higher sexual assault rates but then I only googled for about 5 minutes.  I would assume schools that have higher sexual assault rates would have a higher rape culture.  (I realize the problem that PHC specifically has with it's culture in encouraging women to keep silent.)

[In The Great White North]

 

 

 I would assume schools that have higher sexual assault rates would have a higher rape culture.  (I realize the problem that PHC specifically has with it's culture in encouraging women to keep silent.)

 

One could also assume, that a higher "published" sexual assault rate would mean a culture where woman are more comfortable reporting it (ie. feel they will be taken seriously and not penalized - officially or not).

 

There's no telling at all what the actual sexual assault rate is.  

 

[bettyandbob]

  (I realize the problem that PHC specifically has with it's culture in encouraging women to keep silent.)

 

Yup. That's the big issue. I would not feel my dd was safe in an atmosphere where this was happening.