Honestly not trying to point fingers at you. Part of the problem with white supremacy is that it's like the water we swim in, and it goes largely undiscussed - people are very - perhaps understandably - quick to view "whites benefit from systemic racism" as "whites benefit from systemic racism, and you're white, therefore you're a terrible person!" which is not at all what i'm trying to say. So it can be hard to tell the difference between "I never learned about this" and "I totally learned about this but am pretending not to see it because talking about it is uncomfortable." Sorry for getting snippy upthread about it. Think of the conversations where you've explained to your husband or a male friend or relative the safety checklist you have to run though before leaving a public place alone at night. Ever have anyone get defensive when you talk about that? "Well, not all men are that way!" I feel like maybe something similar happened in this thread. Clearly people are unhappy with the specific language I used about feeling like kids are "completely unprepared" if they haven't had some exposure to racial diversity, so I'll own that and say that I chose my words poorly (even though I stand by the basic idea and we can disagree about whether I'm right or not.)

I won't be engaging with you further, SKL, although I'm happy to continue civil discussion on this thread with others.

OK, let's count. [Goes and counts.] The answer is "zero." SKL, literally the only person in this thread to use the word "ignorant", outside of a quote, is...you.

I thought this bit from the article at The Toast was pretty eloquent.

That's twice now that you've put words in my mouth that weren't there. I didn't call anyone's kid stupid, I didn't call anyone's kid mean, and I didn't call anyone's kid an idiot. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop doing that. Thanks!

Saying that race informs every aspect of our lives as Americans, given that we are living in a country that only exists due to the plunder of black bodies, families, and lives, isn't "injecting the past". It's acknowledging the present, which is based on the past. You profit, today, from hundreds of years of racism and plunder. I profit, today, from hundreds of years of racism and plunder. It doesn't mean that you or I are personally bad people or consciously racist in thought or deed. But I acknowledge that it totally gets my dander up to see people looking around them and deciding that the lack of African Americans in their communities must just be, y'know, natural, as opposed to a condition that was intentionally created through murder.

I can't tell if you're kidding or not, but my response would be "It is, in fact, exactly like that." Blacks did not all just decide to move to the cities for their health, but for their safety. Blacks who wandered into much of white America during much of the 1900s were inviting their own legal and socially sanctioned murder. If you're honestly telling me you've never heard of the term "sundown town," then I invite you to learn about them. If you have heard the term, then I'm wondering why you aren't connecting the fact that blacks were evicted from much of the US by violence to the fact that blacks aren't present in much of the US. When you left the house for a trip to the beach, did your parents or grandparents need a book to let them know which towns you were most and least likely to be murdered in? Your black friends' parents and grandparents did: http://the-toast.net/2016/06/29/the-negro-motorist-green-book/ http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/green-book-helped-keep-african-americans-safe-on-the-road/ White separatism in America is not a coincidence. It's a direct, intended outcome of white supremacy. You don't intend that outcome, I get it, but we are all eating the fruit of that tree.

Today I learned that "Not living near any brown people" is just some sort of weird coincidental accident and isn't anyone's fault at all and as long as we are all personally nice it's ok. And that racism happens, but mysteriously always happens elsewhere, not quite sure where but definitely far away.

Sure, and I will happily grant you that this is a hypothetical outcome for some person in a culture that is homogeneous, insulated from the wider world of media, and isn't living in a country whose very existence was only possible because of the plunder of black lives and legally-mandated white supremacy. For anyone growing up in the United States, that hypothetical is inoperative, and avoiding unconscious bias is likely impossible.

I get that you feel like this is attacking your kid somehow, and I promise you I'm not doing that. But if you can try to not take this personally for a minute: wouldn't you agree that someone who has never met a person from another culture just might be more likely to experience unconscious or implicit bias? (And just to be crystal clear, I'm not saying 'people who hang out with people of color aren't biased, people who don't are!' We all have implicit biases to a greater or lesser extent.)

OK. Do me a solid, and ask one of your African-American friends if they agree.

I feel like maybe we're talking about different things, but I don't accept the premise that providing education to people of all races, colors, and creeds somehow compromises a school's ability to provide strong academic preparation. If that happened in your school district, well, it sounds like your school district is terrible. They'd probably be terrible if all the kids were white, too.

Sure. I chose that one specific example because it's one that is familiar to me, and one that has obvious consequences that are measurable and foreseeable. When I gave that as a reason, I really didn't expect anyone to mentally insert the word 'only' in there.

Saying "You should make opportunities for your kids to meet people of various cultures and ethnicities, because that's good for them and is part of being a well-rounded person" does not mean "You should approach people of color in the rudest way possible." But obviously if it's not important to you, then it's not important to you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The answer to your question is "You prioritize it and create those opportunities." I get that this is a sore spot for some people, but, really, I promise you that 'Hey, white folks, you should get out and actually talk to some black people from time to time' is not going to offend black people (or asians, or indians, or...) But hey, there are people of color on the forum, I'd love to hear what they think about this.