regentrude Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 For those experienced parents of college students: what do we need to do over the next few months before DD goes off to college in the fall (aside from directly college related things like housing and financial aid). I am thinking of things like having a checkup and getting her vaccinations up to date, especially the meningitis one. Bank account is on our list, but we have to wait until she knows where she goes, so we can choose a convenient bank. Other than that, I am drawing a blank. There must be tons of things we should not forget before sending a young person away to school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Credit card (you can't buy a plane ticket home without one) Add dentist to the medical stuff. Medical power of attorney Whatever form they use to allow the doctors to discuss her health with you. Cell phone Amazon/PayPal account (to buy textbooks) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen in VA Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Check the college to find if the college has a "preferred" laptop for students to own. (Many have requirements, some have specials deals for students, and some provide free maintenance on their preferred computer.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Credit card (you can't buy a plane ticket home without one) Add dentist to the medical stuff. Medical power of attorney Whatever form they use to allow the doctors to discuss her health with you. Cell phone Amazon/PayPal account (to buy textbooks) Thanks. Looks like we have most of these covered. Credit card is taken care of; she had a prepaid credit card for several years. As a minor, she can't get a real credit card anyway (nor would it make any sense since she does not have an income). She has an Amazon account, and with prepaid credit card money transfer from parents is electronic and painless. Dentist - we'll have regular check in the spring. What does medical POA entail? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I won't have a college student for quite some time, but maybe you can investigate online banks like Ally? Then location wouldn't matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Well, you can... Discuss how you are going to transfer money to her. Discuss how to stay safe (watch your drink, take a friend, etc.) Make sure she knows how to take a taxi, sign into a hotel, buy a long distance bus ticket. (College students sometimes go places with friends and then decide it would be wiser to stay put and/or get back on their own.) Talk about how often you expect to hear from her, at a minimum. Remind her about how to stay healthy (Simple rules for this specific situation worked better for us - You must eat at least one, hopefully more, pieces of fruit every day. You must drink at least one glass of milk a day (for our family, at least). You must get outside in the sun for at least a few minutes a day. If you are feeling depressed, take a walk. If you are feeling worried, go through your assignments and make a plan for dealing with the things you are supposed to be doing. Etc. I'm sure your family has its own list of coping mechanisms.) Talk about the different types of friendships and love, and what her responsibility to friends under different circumstances might be (this is a place where "good" kids get into trouble - when is it ok to abandon a friend and when is it not, when is it ok to sacrifice your own grades for a friend and when is it not - this gets tricky fast) Make a plan for emergencies. (Does your family have an if-all-else-fails message or meeting place? I don't know what hazards you have, but we always have the possibility of the coast being a mess and family members being scattered because of a hurricane. We have an inland meeting place.) Talk about when (and how) you treat yourself and when you need to go to the infirmary Spend a little time on the internet and show her what the common street drugs look like. Make sure she has some idea of how much she can drink before she becomes stupid, if she hasn't had any experience with this Ask her to make sure she signs the piece of paper at orientation that will allow the school to contact you Make plans for filling any perscriptions (including contact lenses) Make sure she has extra glasses (if she wears them) Talk about any changes that might happen at home when she is gone like switching rooms with her brother or repainting the living room, because those can be pretty upsetting as a surprise Talk about strategies for balancing a full course load and finding a study group and things like that (if you haven't already) Think about what might comfort her when (if) she is homesick Talk about different familys' approaches to housekeeping (to reduce roommate shock) Talk about when it might be a advisable to switch roommates (like emotionally very unstable or interfering with her ability to do her own schoolwork even elsewhere) Make sure her passport isn't going to expire while she is away Make her a contact list, if she has been using the family one US boys have to register for the draft if they are over 18 and haven't already for financial aid Buy new winter clothes now before the spring stuff comes in Etc. - I'm sure you get the idea You can start looking for sales of bedding and desk lamps but bedding is tricky unless you know whether the beds are extra long or not - we bought sheets through the school, an especially good option if she will be flying there the first day. She probably knows what study aids she wants but if not, you can talk about whether she wants several white board or a semester-on-a-poster calendar or a specific type of assignment book and start gathering them. It is amazing how few concrete personal things there are to do beforehand other than talking. : ) Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Awesome list, Nan. :) Can you come help me launch my next two kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 What does medical POA entail? A medical POA allows you (as opposed to the clinic, hospital, doctor) to make end-of-life decisions, in case of an emergency. You should have it written to make any medical decisions for her, if she is unable to do so herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Now that oldest DS is 18, we've given him strict instructions to put both my and DH's names on all HIPAA forms. Given that there's no doubt that DH and I are his closest kin, I don't feel that it's really necessary at this time to get him a health care POA. I believe that in most states the law is clear that the closest kin are the ones who make health decisions if a person who is incapacitated doesn't have a health care power of attorney. Usually the order of succession for making decisions is set out as: spouse, children, parents, siblings. Since DS has no spouse or children, that leaves DH and me to make decisions. But it's never a bad thing to go ahead and have a health care POA drawn up. We've also been instructing DS on how to handle the insurance end of medical things -- that he understands which card is for doctor/hospital visits, which is for prescriptions, understands about co-pays, etc. We will be getting DS a credit card before he goes off to college. A regular one, assuming that we can get him a high enough credit limit to make sure he'll have plenty to purchase textbooks or pay for any unforeseen expense. We're okay with having to co-sign if necessary. We want him to start building his credit score and learning to manage a credit card now, while we can still supervise. And since we'll be the ones paying it, you can bet we'll be supervising. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy in nj Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 You definitely want to wait until selecting a school before selecting the bank account. The school's designated bank will waive account fees even the summer before once you have an instruction letter from your college. Many schools have the option for the student's id card to also be linked to the student's bank account (with whichever bank the school has an agreement with), so that on campus it can serve as either a "credit card" to bill the student's account (campus pharmacy etc), charge the student's spending account set up with the school (bookstore charges, I think) and both on and off campus, serve as a debit card accessing the student's bank account. My dd's school has this arrangement with Wachovia. Also, she has ATM's near her dorm where she can get cash from either her school spending account or Wachovia, although I think there are separate machines side-by-side for accessing the different accounts. My dd found it a bit confusing the first few weeks to keep straight where things were going to be charged--it was especially unclear between university billing and her university spending account. I think she opted to just carry her separate Wachovia debit card for off campus purchases rather than link the student id, but I think most of the students do have it linked. There is a Wachovia office right on campus that takes care of linking everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy in nj Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 double post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Also, check out these two great lists of supplies you'll want to start collecting: Gwen's complete college supply listFreshman move-in day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Check the college to find if the college has a "preferred" laptop for students to own. (Many have requirements, some have specials deals for students, and some provide free maintenance on their preferred computer.) DD can buy programs through the college at "cheaper than Black Friday prices" on the same software. Prices are good all year, in case that wasn't clear. The school used that term, hence the quotation marks. Once your dc knows where he/she will attend, find out if that school has similar deals. We researched the type of laptop, but we were glad we didn't go out and buy any software before we heard that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Thanks for all the suggestions. Now, what extra things will I need to be aware of if my student is not yet 18 ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 She will also need a copy of your health insurance card, her birth certificate, and social security card. In addition to their own credit card (which has a very low limit), I get mine a secondary card in their name on one of my accounts to have for backup use. They keep it in a secured location for emergency use (like when their credit card number is stolen and the card invalidated for a short while). I also have them use it for travel expenses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 On a slightly different theme, my suggestion is to have multiple conversations about resources and how to handle different situations. Make sure she understands the range of resources available on campus - everything from residential life, to tutoring, to professors' office hours, to mental health services. It is essential that kids know we certainly expect them to do well, but we are not expecting perfection. We know there that for most people there will be a few bumps in the road. You are 100% in her corner and you want to know if they are struggling in any way there is help available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 She will have to sign something so you can have access to her college financial accounts and be able to discuss money with her school. I also like it if they sign at the health office that you can have access to medical information. I remind my dc that they can change their minds any time they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Budgeting. That's the only thing I can think of that I haven't specifically seen mentioned. It didn't occur to me to teach this one as it always came naturally to me as a teen. Also, I bought my own car and paid for my own insurance, gas, clothing, toiletries, etc. And tended to hoard money. My kids didn't really need cars and made relatively more money than I did at their ages, so budgeting was something that slipped through the cracks. It didn't occur to my quite brilliant 19yo to divide her Fall scholarship into enough portions to cover her rent during the month she was away from her job at school. She used the extra for books and food and then had to scramble to make it up by babysitting for neighbors over the holidays. We threw in a couple of hundred too, but I reserved the right to laugh at her just a little :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Oh! Be sure you have at minimum the contact information for her roommate and on other close friend or S/O in case of an emergency. My daughter contracted bacterial pneumonia last year and refused to seek medical help. I could tell from her voice and demeanor that she was really, really sick and I was frightened for her. I finally broke down and texted her roommate and pleaded with her to bodily carry Jenna to the health center if she wouldn't go. She and her boyfriend were able to get her there and of course the doctor was horrified by her condition. Moms can sense these things. Anyway, you will likely never need it, but it's always good to have current alternate contact information for anyone you love, no matter how old they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I haven't read the replies but just thinking of a couple of things we have had to deal with -- 1. If your dd takes medication regularly it may get all messed up when she comes home on break and then back again. Does she pick it up at college or at home?Better yet, get it done via pharmacy mail order where you can order several months at a time. 2. Assemble a tool kit for the dorm room (hammer, screwdrivers, flashlight, tape measure, etc. and include some of those stickies to hang things up without making a hole in the wall) 3. Put together a first-aid kit with several common medications for cold, cough syrup, cough drops, advil, tylenol, bandaids, etc. 4. It worked out for our dd to have her own checking acct at home with a debit card and a separate checking account only used for educational expenses (keeping them separate makes it easier for tax purposes). As far as the not yet 18 yrs old - I have no idea. I started college at 16 and it didn't seem that one thing was different from being 18, but now it may make a difference, especially with regard to health care. If she is covered under your insurance the school will probably have you show proof of insurance and decline what they sell (will save ~$1000 per year). If you register online with your insurance carrier (or call them) you can find out which md's are in-network in the college town - that may be worth figuring out ahead of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Regentrude, if your dd will not be 18 when she takes up residence in the dorms, you may have to sign over some legal consent for treatment to a representative of the university. My parents had to do that because I was 16 when I left for college and in the US, under 18 can not give consent for their own medical treatment. Make sure you cover the bases on this and talk to your dd about advocating for herself, and keeping in contact with you should she be sick or injured. Make sure that her insurance paperwork, consent forms, and contact information are actually held not just by the business office or the health clinic which may or may not have emergency hours or be open on the weekend. Give a copy to the Resident Director, and maybe one to the Resident Assistant, and tell them your number is on her cell phone and do not hesitate if she gets sick or injured to call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myra Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Have those talks again........ And I covered the extreme "what ifs" with my son..................what if he decides to start drinking to access (needs medical attention, passes out, binge drinking, laws)..........what if he engages in sexual activity (precautions, access to birth control such as condoms, day after pills, responsiblity, STDs, experimentation)...........what if starts using drugs or around drugs (legality, medical) I know some of these "what ifs" might be controversial or even scary to imagine.j But I'm sure that we've already had these talks during high school, but college is a whole new ball game as you are discussing it with a relatively independent young adult. Myra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Talk about fire safety. Knowing what to do if they are several floors up and can't get out. How do they attract attention from their window, etc. Talk to the girls about what to do if a friend tells them they were raped. Who do they take them too? How do they get help? Don't shower, etc. Have in their cell phones, a first contact (Mom & Dad), second contact (Aunt in the next town) etc. Information goes both ways, if your child watches a news story about their hometown or where you work (shooting, flood, explosion) and then can't get a hold of you, who should they contact for info if your cell phone doesn't work? Talk about, safety in the dorms, safety walking on the paths between classes, safety walking into the city at night, on the way home from the library. Teach them to lock up their laptops! Buy them a cable lock and have them start using it before they leave for school to get into the habit. Give your kids cart blanch permission that they can call you collect anytime for any reason! Tell them so they don't hesitate for even a second. Remind them that the city police or campus police would rather get a phone call asking for help because they don't feel safe, then have to start a report and investigation because of a murder. Talk to them about the effects of drugs and what they will feel like. Even if your children would never do drugs, it doesn't mean some low life won't try to slip it to them. Give them a battle plan on what to do if that were to happen to them or a friend. Offer to have your smart phone or ipad/ipod linked to theirs through an app so if they can't find their phone, you can use the app " Find my phone" to help them find theirs. Also, you'll be able to see where they are during the day. Yes, that is spying, but if your kid gives you permission then do it. Plus, they can shut it off anytime they would like. If they are younger, make sure their beginner driver's license doesn't expire while they are away at school. I know one family that had to fly dd home so she could do her final driver's test. That was expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 oh yeah, and because this happened this week to a girl friend. Find out from the school where they will be posting information if the school goes into lock down. Sign up for the school's twitter feed yourself so you can keep a finger on the pulse of a tense situation. My friend's son texted "Hi Mom, in hallway 10 cops at one door, 6 at other, they have machine guns. This is so cool." We spent the next 45 mins frantically finding out what was going on. The news media was basically useless, they were reporting what the boy was being told 5 - 10 minutes later. Have a game plan in place, just so you never have to use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juliegmom Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 We will be looking into a AAA memership for our dd. Membership covers the member (her) and not a specific vehicle. So even if she were in the car of a family member or friend she would have assistance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkateLeft Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Definitely following... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Sounds like all of the practical stuff has been covered. The things I was most concerned about was wanting to make sure my children understood the safety issues and what to do in certain circumstances. Such as, what to do if her friend and the driver for the evening becomes drunk but she needs to get back to her dorm? Would she know how to call a taxi? Are there neighborhoods where it's not really safe to be alone in after dark, or even in the daylight? How can she find out? What should she do if she has to run an errand alone at night, and is there a safe way to exit/re-enter your car? What should she do if she gets a flat tire on a deserted road (or anywhere, for that matter). My kids all spent their first year after high school in another country, so we went over lots of other things too, such as knowing the emergency phone number in the country they were in. I let all my children know that if they are ever in a situation which they feel is potentially unsafe, to not worry about the expense of BEING safe. So, if if my daughter went to a coffeeshop when it was still light outside but it was dark when she wanted to go home, but she was concerned about spending money on a taxi, she should take the taxi anyway knowing that I'd reimburse her. (As long as it didn't become habit, of course!) I did this for my daughter who was living in a sketchy neighborhood in Costa Rica. She had a special "taxi account" that I gave her for when she was coming home after dark and felt public transportation was unsafe at that hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Every child is different. Make sure the computer has word and such. Get the credit card/bank account situation worked out. Order an extra insurance card so she can carry her own. Go over basic roommate skills. My daughter just got "the Naked Roommate" book. Check up, shots or exemptions to have in hand. Oh..dental visit. Try to schedule one for June so that the next one is in December when she comes home for break. Get her hair cut just before she goes. If you are in to it..a pedicure and brow wax too. I can't think of anything else. My daughter is not in to manicures. My son didn't need the pedicure or manicure or brown wax, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 My husband pointed something out that might be good to talk about. He says he has noticed that even homeschoolers who have had quite a lot of experience in social situations may have trouble in college. Their curiosity makes them put too much energy into their social lives now that they have unlimited opportunities, at best, or at worst, they go through a cycle of being fascinated and then disillusioned with various people who are different from anyone they have met before. They lack the experience to sum people up as stereotypes (not really a good idea but handy if you don't have time to investigate) or the judgment to assess all the new people and pick the ones they are the most likely to like. I'm not sure what you can do about this other than warn them beforehand that this might happen. Another thing I thought of is that it is handy, as a family, to have decided beforehand roughly how long one waits before summoning help. If you haven't heard from your son or daughter for awhile and you can't reach them, how long is too long before you will contact someone else to help you track them down? And the other way around - if they can't contact you, how long will they wait until they begin calling aunts and neighbors? Decide whether you are going to tell each other when someone is away for the weekend (either parents or child). It is a really really good idea when you drop off your child and meet their roommates and the roommates' parents to exchange contact information with the other parents and roommates. Calling a roommate is the FIRST thing you should do if you are worried about your son or daughter, because it might turn out there is nothing at all to worry about and it will be less embarrassing for the child if you don't begin with campus security lol. AAA is a brilliant idea! The account goes with the person, not the car, so if your child is riding in a friend's car and something goes wrong, child can call AAA for help. Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 Make sure the computer has word and such. Check with the school bookstore before buying these. Many school offer a huge discount if they buy this through the school. It might be downloaded version, not a CD. That would be fine but have them run the BELARC program on their computers after they install anything. This will give them a snapshot off all the programs on their computer and what the installation codes were to prove they own the program, just in case something happens later on. For example, a glass of water or soda dumped on the laptop fries the computer or it is stolen. Then suggest they email the results to you because storing them on their computer is useless if the computer is fried! LOL Belarc is free: http://www.belarc.com/free_download.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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