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Could we do a "confessions" here....


jillian
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Here's mine: I am concerned as my younger seems to be catching up with my older. I don't like this. Older doesn't like this. It causes tension. 

 

There.

 

We have this situation here, too.  My 9 yro (girl) is around the same level as the 11 yro (boy).  I try to do stuff that encourages the older one.  Yesterday, I asked the older one to check the younger one's math workbook to make sure she got the answers right.  Stuff like that helps, I guess. 

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I confess that I still hold out hope that my children are not gifted. They're young yet, and though DS is quick and WAY ahead of the coursework in his school, I don't think he'd stick out much, say, in a Bay Area PS for example. And while DD might be reading at an advanced level and clamoring to pick up the pace in first grade math, she is only four. She might slow down in the next few years? Neither of my kids was a verbal infant or a literate toddler, so I can grasp that thread of hope tightly.

:( but why? It doesn't change a single thing about who the children in front of you are. They are who they are and everything about them is what makes them them.

 

Fwiw, none of my kids have been literate toddlers. I have had 2 verbal early. One is our oldest dd, and she is definitely amg my more avg kids. The other is our youngest and I have zero doubts that she is probably our most gifted child.

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Confession:  My extremely mature 4 year old has morphed into an extremely immature 8 year old.  I have no idea what happened. :(

Confession:  Two years ago, we reached the point where I could no longer keep up with learning alongside ds (at least in certain subjects).  I quietly handed the learning over to him to be done independently. 

Confession:  When ds shares his most recently acquired scientific knowledge with me, I try to act like I know what he's talking about.  I think he has strong suspicions about this, but he doesn't have anyone else he can talk to about these things at the moment.

Confession:  I've stopped trying to look more than one year into our future.  It stresses me out too much.

Confession:  We sometimes attend field trips and experiential educational events for different ages/grades, and I let everyone assume that ds is freakishly short.

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I confess that I sometimes wonder if homeschooling is really the best choice for my son. A friend's daughter (who is likely more gifted) is thriving in public school (albeit in an accelerated classroom in a great school district in a different part of the country). But none of that stops me from wondering...

 

Also, I left a pancake cooking in my electric skillet this morning *while I did an errand!!!*  :scared: Thankfully I didn't come home to fire trucks.

 

 

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:( but why? It doesn't change a single thing about who the children in front of you are. They are who they are and everything about them is what makes them them.

 

Fwiw, none of my kids have been literate toddlers. I have had 2 verbal early. One is our oldest dd, and she is definitely amg my more avg kids. The other is our youngest and I have zero doubts that she is probably our most gifted child.

 

Because I feel that being identified gifted as a child was a detriment to me personally. It's just the label I fear, not the intelligence. I know that I can mitigate the problems I experienced, and encourage hard work and perseverance and other beneficial qualities regardless of their IQ, but still. I secretly hoped for bright but average children, and until just a couple of months ago, I really thought that's what I'd gotten in both of them. I'm just at a tough point of acceptance right now, hence the confession. I definitely LOVE their love of learning and how quickly they grasp new information! My heart bursts with pride when my son displays the connections his brain makes!

 

It also doesn't help that they are currently in a public school system that is just not designed to handle gifted children. The school and teachers are working really hard to meet my son's needs but it is just barely enough, and it's increasingly isolating for him to do his work separately from the rest of the class. And then I see my daughter coming up behind him with even stronger academic abilities and I worry a lot about her being one of "those" gifted kids who gets completely shut down by an unstimulating school experience, who never finds peers she can relate to. I just worry.

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I confess that I am not doing enough to meet my gifted child's educational needs. He is offered accelerated academics at school, but he still makes short work of it. I am afterschooling with a lot of challenging curriculum, have found a couple of mentors to guide him in his specific interests, but still, it seems that he is not challenged enough. I feel like a slacker mom most of the time.

I confess, that even though I have a STEM background, my child's knowledge of science trivia has outgrown mine.

I confess that I hate building with Legos.

I confess that I find BrainPop to be pretty good!

I confess that I am a mean mom who enforces a strict no TV rule in my house. This has actually helped us get to where we are in several academic areas and extracurriculars.

I confess that I do not enforce a set reading time at home anymore because of the limited time we have after school which gets eaten up by instrument practice, afterschooling, extracurriculars, homework and free play. I should tell DS to read during beforecare which he attends every day.

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Confession: My kids are easy. Easy to teach, easy to deal with most days. I was bed ridden for most of the last pregnancy. My then 6 year old cooked in the microwave his and his brother's oatmeal every morning for 8 months.. And it makes me feel guilty when I read about other parents struggling, because I have it so easy (most of the time.)

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Because I feel that being identified gifted as a child was a detriment to me personally. It's just the label I fear, not the intelligence. I know that I can mitigate the problems I experienced, and encourage hard work and perseverance and other beneficial qualities regardless of their IQ, but still. I secretly hoped for bright but average children, and until just a couple of months ago, I really thought that's what I'd gotten in both of them. I'm just at a tough point of acceptance right now, hence the confession. I definitely LOVE their love of learning and how quickly they grasp new information! My heart bursts with pride when my son displays the connections his brain makes!

 

It also doesn't help that they are currently in a public school system that is just not designed to handle gifted children. The school and teachers are working really hard to meet my son's needs but it is just barely enough, and it's increasingly isolating for him to do his work separately from the rest of the class. And then I see my daughter coming up behind him with even stronger academic abilities and I worry a lot about her being one of "those" gifted kids who gets completely shut down by an unstimulating school experience, who never finds peers she can relate to. I just worry.

 

I didn't pick up on the fact that your kids are in ps.   Yes, that is a completely different scenario.   I don't even like to think about what would have happened to some of my kids if they had been in ps.   Homeschooling makes a huge difference.

 

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I feel guilty when other people tell me how brilliant their kid is - because one of mine was not even in the same ballpark at that age - and I don't always know how to answer.

 

I worry that my asynchronous kid may have trouble making friends in school.

 

I don't like not having an answer to my kids' questions.  Or worse, having them correct my errors.

 

My kid's love for books has made me (a book lover too) lose my mind a little....

 

I occasionally have to suppress an urge to show off in socially inappropriate ways ....

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I confess I feel guilty when DD comes back from school and asks me "When will she/they teach me something I don't know"?.

 

I confess I let people-who-I-barely-know think she is a very short 10-11 yr old.

 

I confess I find (most) Young Adult books more interesting, layered, complex than (most) current fiction for adults.

 

I confess I have let DD's academics slide big time as I don't want to widen the gap between her and her peers anymore.

 

I confess I don't talk about my DD to anyone, except DH and some online/IRL friends.

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I confess that sometimes I like studying on my own more than teaching my children.

 

I confess that sometimes planning for future classes is more interesting than teaching the current ones.

 

I confess that teaching science and history to a 6th grader is so much more interesting than teaching it to a 2nd grader.

 

I confess that I do not plan to tell my children that there is another Joan Aiken Wolves Chronicles book after this one.

 

I confess that I am also worried about staying ahead in math.

 

I confess that sometimes I am really lazy, and I worry about teaching my kids bad habits.

 

None of those have much to do with acceleration, but I was just feeling confessional.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok, I have another one:

 

My oldest child was sick today.  It was lovely.

 

No, not the her being sick part . . . but the fact that I could focus on my little one, guilt free, and that when her school was done, I worked for a couple of hours while I was still fresh, not exhausted and burnt out . . . and I went for a walk . . . 

 

I had a really nice day.  I feel a little guilty about that, but I did.

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DD has self-educated herself on the history of the English monarchy and at this point the only person that could have an intelligent conversation on her level about it is an English history professor.  On a related note DH is a bit upset with me that she knows a great deal about royal marriages being consummated.  He feels I should have been doing a better job screening material.  She mentioned some fact about Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn briefly in passing to him and I think it took him by surprise.  

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I confess that the older dd gets the less I am able to provide her exactly what she needs on my own. I had this idea I would be able to do every single subject homeschooling on my own until at least high school but I am a math/science girl and she loves language arts. I found a mentor to help challenge and expand her writing skills and interests and I am blown away by their creativity together (creative, I am not).

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I confess: I worry about pi$$ing people off on WTM because my sense of humor doesn't transfer well and I tend to not write complete thoughts down.  There are so many people on here that I admire.

 

I've thought about what would happen if the kids needed to suddenly come home for schooling and I don't know that I would add more to our curriculum- just be better about doing it.

 

I love that we've had so many three and four day public school weeks in January.  It's been a real pleasure having the kids home.

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I've thought about what would happen if the kids needed to suddenly come home for schooling and I don't know that I would add more to our curriculum- just be better about doing it.

 

I love that we've had so many three and four day public school weeks in January.  It's been a real pleasure having the kids home.

 

I'm with you on both counts!

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I confess that I make my 13yo son do 30 minutes of math a day, even though he often objects, because I love AOPS and I love seeing his understanding develop. I do let him choose the book and level. (We have 4 AOPS volumes and he gets to choose which he works in, and whether he goes straight to the Review and Challenge without working through the exercises.) He thinks I'm working him too hard because he's much more advanced than most kids his age, so why don't I give him a break? But I figure (1) that it is one of his greatest strengths, and it will likely help him in his future, (2) I think the discipline of working every day is good for him, and (3) I really do enjoy seeing his progress, and I get a kick out of seeing how much progress he makes in 30 minutes a day.

 

I confess that I am not doing enough to supervise the schoolwork of my 17yo junior. She is working fairly well on her own (mostly at her dad's office), but really she isn't doing enough to call it a full high school program. She doesn't even want me to know what it is she's working on, so I'm trying to figure out how I will handle transcripts for college.... Still working on this one. My husband isn't supporting my position on this one, so I'm feeling stymied.

 

I confess that homeschooling is much harder, and much more fraught with difficulties, than I originally though it would be. I don't know whether I would homeschool, if I had it to do over again. Maybe, but I would do SO MANY things differently! I love teaching, and I love being with my kids, but there are more downsides than I had thought. But for this lifetime, we're committed.

 

I confess that my 13yo spends more time on the computer than I believe healthy for him. We're working on this. (Minecraft, Minecraft, Minecraft. And Clash of Clans.)

 

I confess that much of the schoolwork I assign is for the purpose of keeping them from experiencing life as 100% recreational. I do want their work to be pleasant and efficient, but I also want it to be either assigned, or (if self-chosen) working toward a clear goal. I chose this goal for myself when my oldest was 12 or so and I suddenly realized that (although she was academically capable) she experienced the world as an ocean of time. Why hurry? Tomorrow is as good as today, because time is unlimited. I had given her too much freedom, and I really had to up the ante with her.

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Confession:

I worry about my oldest- he has his nose in a book all the time.   I have caught him trying to read while getting dressed (!!!) Brushing his teeth, doing chores, I have to tell him constantly to Put The Book Down!  SOmetimes it will be the same series over and over.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Confession:

I worry about my oldest- he has his nose in a book all the time.   I have caught him trying to read while getting dressed (!!!) Brushing his teeth, doing chores, I have to tell him constantly to Put The Book Down!  SOmetimes it will be the same series over and over.  

 

I wouldn't worry too much! I was that same kid, and I turned out ok!  

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Confession:

I worry about my oldest- he has his nose in a book all the time.   I have caught him trying to read while getting dressed (!!!) Brushing his teeth, doing chores, I have to tell him constantly to Put The Book Down!  SOmetimes it will be the same series over and over.

 

 

  

I wouldn't worry too much! I was that same kid, and I turned out ok!

 

Uh, this is normal behavior in our house, starting as soon as a kid could read independently. I cook while reading :lol:

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I've had to reprimand kiddo a few times for crossing smaller streets/ parking garages while reading. It can be dangerous sometimes!

He needs a book even when we are grocery shopping. I've had to say "No, you may not read while I shop!" countless times. But I don't mind that he reads when I'm shopping for clothes. It's the grocery store that is the larger hazard.

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I confess that I burst into tears this week when one of my friends made a comment that shows that,despite knowing DD and I for years, she STILL doesn't understand that DD is the driving force and high-pressure one. I guess it was just one too many. I also confess that two days later, it still bugs me-because I really thought she understood, and apparently she's just been biting her tongue all these years.

 

 

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I confess that I am utterly baffled by my dd''s obsession with the color purple. It has become a serious issue. I had to pick her up early from her 3-hour long preschool day this week after she had meltdowns...First because she didn't get the purple PlayDough...and then again because she didn't get to sit on the purple dot in music. Really.

It sounds funny, typing this. It is not, and has been like this for TWO years. We have a collection of purple cups and bowls in the cupboards that we do NOT use because they might 'get dirty!' We have tried everything I can think of.

Ugh. At this point I have NO idea if it is just asynchronous behavior issues, a quirk, or something else:(

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I confess that I burst into tears this week when one of my friends made a comment that shows that,despite knowing DD and I for years, she STILL doesn't understand that DD is the driving force and high-pressure one. I guess it was just one too many. I also confess that two days later, it still bugs me-because I really thought she understood, and apparently she's just been biting her tongue all these years.

 

:grouphug:   So sorry to hear this.  No, some people just don't get it - will never get it - because it's simply beyond their idea of "normal." 

 

That said, it has been such a blessing to find this board.  Parenting gurus always say that "You know your own child best,"  but it's so difficult to deal with what's best when your child is so far off the bell curve.  Very few understand the depth of gifted children - the joys and the hardships, the intellectual stimulation they CRAVE and the 2E issues they struggle with.  Finding like-minded people IRL who understand and - even better - can sympathize with is so hard.  And we live in an urban area where you'd think it would be easier!  I can't imagine what it would be like for us if we lived anywhere even more remote.

 

So a new confession:  I come back to these boards 2-3 times a day on really bad days.  Sometimes I just read through older posts; sometimes I just lurk.  There may not be many people who understand my kids, but at least none of the people here would think we were "weird."  Crazy, maybe; but not weird. :laugh:

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Confession:

I worry about my oldest- he has his nose in a book all the time.   I have caught him trying to read while getting dressed (!!!) Brushing his teeth, doing chores, I have to tell him constantly to Put The Book Down!  SOmetimes it will be the same series over and over.  

 

Yes. Yes. Yes.

 

When I say, "Clean up!" what I really mean is, "Pick up all those books on your bed and put them in one of the 3 bookshelves in your room.  Don't forget to shelve the 6 you have in the bathrooms.  Then go get the 50 library books you got out last week and put them in your backpack so we can get new ones.  And grab the 15 you have stored in the back seat of the car - your younger sister is running out of room." 

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I confess that I am utterly baffled by my dd''s obsession with the color purple. 

Ugh. At this point I have NO idea if it is just asynchronous behavior issues, a quirk, or something else:(

My DS at 3 and 4 had an extreme aversion to the color pink. I don't know where he got the idea that pink was a yucky color and meant only for girls (his preschool, maybe). He used to make me change clothes and then hold him if he saw any pink in my clothes.

 

He took evening art classes for a while and I talked to his art instructor about his aversion - this guy was so nice, he spent a lot of time talking to DS about how every color was beautiful and if used appropriately, all colors could create beautiful art. He even went as far as to create some beautiful water colors using pink and involved DS in them. It changed DS's obsession with hating pink. 

 

I think that you can work on some art with your DD and use purple and another color and show her that the other color is as beautiful as purple. Just an idea ...

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Well thank you! I read a lot as a kid but this child puts me to shame. I mean while you are putting on jeans? Lol. His younger brother resents reading and books b/c it takes away from their playing.

 

So glad to hear there are others in which that is the norm and nothing to be worried about!

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I confess that I am utterly baffled by my dd''s obsession with the color purple. It has become a serious issue. I had to pick her up early from her 3-hour long preschool day this week after she had meltdowns...First because she didn't get the purple PlayDough...and then again because she didn't get to sit on the purple dot in music. Really.

It sounds funny, typing this. It is not, and has been like this for TWO years. We have a collection of purple cups and bowls in the cupboards that we do NOT use because they might 'get dirty!' We have tried everything I can think of.

Ugh. At this point I have NO idea if it is just asynchronous behavior issues, a quirk, or something else:(

 

My kid is similar with purple!  When I got discipline notes from her preschool coaches, it usually had something to do with the purple dot!  Even now at age 7 she gets miffed if she didn't get the purple version of the goody they handed out to the kids at church.  (That just happened last Sunday.)  She also seems to think that food tastes better if it comes in a purple box, and books with purple covers are the best reads.  ;)

 

I remember the day I realized her stubbornness was really above and beyond.  She was 3 and getting dressed for preschool.  I was in a hurry and pulled out a pair of underwear that was not purple.  She started her "hmph, I'm not going to cooperate" thing and I was not in the mood for it.  I grumpily dressed her myself and told her to put on her socks ASAP.  When I came back, the undies I'd put on her were on the floor.  She had quickly stripped, found purple undies, and re-dressed herself, all without a word.  She WAS going to wear purple underwear!  To this day I still lay out purple underwear for her every day. ;)

 

I don't actually like purple.  This is a punishment for past sins, I know it.

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First a brag: dd finished her first "real" chapter book--not magic treehouse or anything. She's totally 100% in love with the Just Grace series.

 

Newest confession: I'm concerned about dd's dreams. She said to me at breakfast on friday that "when men broke into her room and tied her up she screamed really loudly until they untied her." I am assuming it's a dream though I know there is a whole school of thought on past lives and memories and such in gifted children. She also discusses how she remembers how it felt inside my tummy before she was born. I am totally freaked out about it.

 

Also lately she seems to not want to eat (we do casual lunches and breakfasts around here during the week) because she's so focused on building this lego house and floorplan. she has stairs, and she "tiled" the kitchen and bathrooms and such. I literally have to forcibly move her from by them. She can't help herself.

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First a brag: dd finished her first "real" chapter book--not magic treehouse or anything. She's totally 100% in love with the Just Grace series.

 

Does she read mostly nonfiction? My kids are very iffy right now about finishing novels, even if they start them with enthusiasm, but they'll immerse in graphic novels and nonfiction for ages. What can you do? :) I will look into that series for my DD though! She did love the excerpt on the publisher's site!

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I confess that when dd-now-10 was sick one day, I let the dc watch Looney Tunes all morning and called it "Cultural Education."  (Hey, they'd literally never seen any before!)

 

I confess that I had absolutely nothing to say when my hsing friend looked at the canvas bag my dd10 had just decorated and labeled "My Library Bag" and asked, "Oooh, so you can check out chapter books now?"  Um.  Still no words.

 

I confess that I am unfair.  I read while doing dishes, stirring the spaghetti sauce, brushing teeth, folding clothes, etc.  Yet I will not allow my children to read while walking through a parking lot, carrying a bag of groceries.

 

I confess that I hesitate to truly indulge my dd7's interests completely because I jolly well know what an incredible mess all the little pieces will become and I just can't deal with it personally.

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But she's only 6 lol

I don't think it's unheard of to buy the best basic elementary and start looking into middle and highschool taking your time to slowly teach it to a six year old. Do you mean I shouldn't be thinking about buying the hs Analytical Grammer program after MCT Island level just to save money, which I'll spend on science kits and art supplies, because mct's so expensive? :lol:

 

How long before your kid needs to go from oral narations the to this? http://www.germanna.edu/tutor/handouts/english/literary_analysis.pdf. I bought a book called "how to read literature like a professor for kids". I recommend getting this book and reading it yourself for a short reminder of how you learned to study literature in school. It's a short reminder but now I feel confident of how to take my kid easily from narrations to lit analysis. It's a little, thin, book and there's nothing new in it, but I recommend you get it. At least it reminded me of all the things I know that I should now teach my kid.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't think it's unheard of to buy the best basic elementary and start looking into middle and highschool taking your time to slowly teach it to a six year old. Do you mean I shouldn't be thinking about buying the hs Analytical Grammer program after MCT Island level just to save money, which I'll spend on science kits and art supplies, because mct's so expensive? :lol:

 

How long before your kid needs to go from oral narations the to this? http://www.germanna.edu/tutor/handouts/english/literary_analysis.pdf. I bought a book called "how to read literature like a professor for kids". I recommend getting this book and reading it yourself for a short reminder of how you learned to study literature in school. It's a short reminder but now I feel confident of how to take my kid easily from narrations to lit analysis. It's a little, thin, book and there's nothing new in it, but I recommend you get it. At least it reminded me of all the things I know that I should now teach my kid.

 

Great Post. I guess I just worry that we are pushing her. Not that she cannot do the work or understand but that we are pushing her to hard. I guess I just didn't expect this from parenting you know?

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Great Post. I guess I just worry that we are pushing her. Not that she cannot do the work or understand but that we are pushing her to hard. I guess I just didn't expect this from parenting you know?

What does she want? You posted recently both that she was burnt out, and then in this thread that you don't often do school, so it's hard to gage what is actually going on. (which I've felt all over the place too at times.) I would follow her lead. She isn't going to be behind, whether you get the highg school texts or not, so I'd let her pick.

 

I don't tnk parenting is what anyone plans on it being. Lol

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I made a long winded thread tl;dr on why I think buying highschool books for an advanced six year old is fine because "you don't know what your kid don't know". I'll confess I'm embarrassed by how long and rambly it was, but I spent so long rewriting it trying to figure out what my point was there's no way I wasn't posting that sucker (although that should have been a clear indication not to, haha).

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I made a long winded thread tl;dr on why I think buying highschool books for an advanced six year old is fine because "you don't know what your kid don't know". I'll confess I'm embarrassed by how long and rambly it was, but I spent so long rewriting it trying to figure out what my point was there's no way I wasn't posting that sucker (although that should have been a clear indication not to, haha).

 

:smilielol5:

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Sometimes I do not understand what my child is saying. And it is because I do not "get" the subject. sigh.  I feel really stupid.  And I do not know how he knows things sometimes- where does it come from?

 

ETA- and he isnt even  profoundly gifted or anything. LOL.

 

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What does she want? You posted recently both that she was burnt out, and then in this thread that you don't often do school, so it's hard to gage what is actually going on. (which I've felt all over the place too at times.) I would follow her lead. She isn't going to be behind, whether you get the highg school texts or not, so I'd let her pick.

I don't tnk parenting is what anyone plans on it being. Lol

If she had her way she would do all science and play math games (but not actual math) and build stuff and beg to do dissections. And do chemistry by baking and cooking.

 

  

I made a long winded thread tl;dr on why I think buying highschool books for an advanced six year old is fine because "you don't know what your kid don't know". I'll confess I'm embarrassed by how long and rambly it was, but I spent so long rewriting it trying to figure out what my point was there's no way I wasn't posting that sucker (although that should have been a clear indication not to, haha).

I would love to read that lol.

 

  

Sometimes I do not understand what my child is saying. And it is because I do not "get" the subject. sigh.  I feel really stupid.  And I do not know how he knows things sometimes- where does it come from?

 

ETA- and he isnt even  profoundly gifted or anything. LOL.

Ditto
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I think I'm really going to just move towards living books with her. She's old enough now to get input on subjects. She wants dissections. She wants math games (I think we are going to do LoF in the interim). She wants hands on chemistry. She can read anything under the sun so we will keep up with good literature and call it good. Probably toss in some Spanish since it looks like at the end of the year we are going back to Texas.

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