Chris in VA Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 So, I was asked to help with my church's women's retreat in Feb. It's an approx 4 hour (including lunch and a 20 min service) deal, designed to be a time away and supportive and all of that. They want me to tell my "story" of my time in Israel. I am fine with that, but it is a long story, and I can't seem to feel good about shortening it to fit "the box." :) That's what it feels like to me, that they want to box it in. I would say it's a 45 minute deal, and they want it in 20. I am willing to listen, and I'm willing to try, but... :crying: I'm getting upset. I love these women, I love the planning women, I want to do this, but my heart is just kinda...I don't even know--like, if I leave out what happened (shorten it), then it diminishes the story to the point where I don't really feel I want to share it. IDK if it's that I'm being a controlling person (probably), or that I am sort of mourning the loss of what the message is, or what. Any advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 If it's a powerful story then you will want everyone to stay tuned in. 45 minutes will lose people. 20 minutes won't. Whenever I've had to talk at church events, I write down what I want to say and practice staying on point. Pray. Ask God to help you communicate all that you need too in the allotted time. He will help you. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 19, 2013 Author Share Posted November 19, 2013 Thank you. It would be split into several sessions, if I had a say in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 45 minutes seems like a very reasonable amount of time. There is something wrong with people who can't listen that long (feeling free to knit, doodle and fidget of course lol). We all routinely listened to 45 minute lectures in college. What happened between then and now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Oh. Well that is a different story. I'd start with this. Write it down (as if you were talking). Then go back to it a few times, changing what you can. I do not mean omit things, but try to be concise. I'd do this a few times, and you will amaze yourself and what details you can put together with less words. Then talk with the other ladies over this event & tell them where you are at. Are they flexible at all? Could they give you 2 fifteen minute sessions, so you have a half hour to share your story instead of twenty minutes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 45 minutes seems like a very reasonable amount of time. There is something wrong with people who can't listen that long (feeling free to knit, doodle and fidget of course lol). We all routinely listened to 45 minute lectures in college. What happened between then and now? i agree. but the truth is, studies show that over 20 minutes people start to zone out. just because a college lecture is an hour doesn't mean the whole class is listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 If you haven't processed it enough yourself yet to distill it down to a 20 minute talk, you can tell them it's still percolating and please think of you for their next gathering. Or can you find one "angle" that you could do in 20? How the trip affected/impacted one particular area of your life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 If the entire retreat is 4 hours, which includes lunch and a service, then 45 minutes seems really long for one story unless it is the keynote. If you don't think 20 minutes will do your story justice, then pass on the offer. If you think you have some important things to share and be helpful to others, then put in the most meaningful and keep the length to 20 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Well, sometimes speakers go over the time allotted. They just keep talking and it's so interesting nobody notices... It's unintentional of course. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I think you have to really decide if you want to shorten your story to 20 minutes. How about taking a particular moment and focusing on that with the scripture backup? Some pictures on screen, video or power point would be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I recently shared my story of my mission trip to Papua at a staff meeting of 80 people. I was supposed to have 10-15 minutes. I went for 40. I had lots of pictures and interesting stories to tell, some heart-wrenching, others funny. By the end I asked the crowd to donate money to bring one of the Papuan teachers here for training and within 24 hours I had enough money to bring 3 teachers! The crowd was listening and interested the whole 40 minutes. It was easy to tell. They hung around afterwards asking even more questions. If it is a riveting story and you are a good story teller then they will listen for 45 minutes. So that's the first two questions you ask yourself: Is this a riveting story that most people would be interested in or was it just an important experience for me personally? And Am I a good enough public speaker to tell it in such a way that people will listen for 45 minutes? The honest truth is that it needs to be both or you may be better off shortening it to 20 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I am going to presume that the women attending attend church regularly, and have no problem staying "tuned in" for the length of the service, which is probably much longer than 20 minutes. In that case, there should be no problem with them staying quiet and attentive while you tell your story. We aren't talking about a room full of preschoolers, here! I would let those in charge know that I would be happy to give the talk, but that it would probably go way over their time limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Now I want to hear your story - all of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Just assume that they are asking for "a vignette" from your story, not "the story" itself. Or decline, and don't worry about it. They've got until Feb to fill a 20 minute time slot, so there's no harm in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpecialClassical Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Well, honestly, I think it is sad if people aren't willing to just listen to what God has done in your life during your trip. It is hard for me to understand how a talk about Israel of all places could be limited to 20 minutes. Is there any reason you couldn't take a break halfway through? Then maybe you wouldn't lose their attention. In the end, if you have a message that you believe will bless them and draw them closer to Christ, then I would kindly express that to the organizers. This isn't about you getting attention; it's about you directing their attention to something more important than being entertained for 20 minutes. At least, that is what I get from your description of the retreat. Our former pastor used to micromanage the time slots given to people in the service. It was so disappointing to have members come back from a mission trip and not only be given a small time slot, but be given leading questions that the pastor used to convey what he felt was important. Those listening want to hear the real story! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 45 minutes seems like a very reasonable amount of time. There is something wrong with people who can't listen that long (feeling free to knit, doodle and fidget of course lol). We all routinely listened to 45 minute lectures in college. What happened between then and now? My ds13 can listen to a 45 minute discourse easily. No knitting either. ;) Just Sunday---AFTER regular 2 hour services, we went back after lunch and listened for over an hour to a couple who had just been to a Bible School for Couples....they show a few videos and talked about their time there. I don't think ds's eyes ever left the couple or the screen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Well, honestly, I think it is sad if people aren't willing to just listen to what God has done in your life during your trip. It is hard for me to understand how a talk about Israel of all places could be limited to 20 minutes. Is there any reason you couldn't take a break halfway through? Then maybe you wouldn't lose their attention. In the end, if you have a message that you believe will bless them and draw them closer to Christ, then I would kindly express that to the organizers. This isn't about you getting attention; it's about you directing their attention to something more important than being entertained for 20 minutes. At least, that is what I get from your description of the retreat. Our former pastor used to micromanage the time slots given to people in the service. It was so disappointing to have members come back from a mission trip and not only be given a small time slot, but be given leading questions that the pastor used to convey what he felt was important. Those listening want to hear the real story! I didn't get from the OP that the 20 minute limit was due to attention span. That was a reason I mentioned upthread, but I don't think it is the purpose for the time limit at all (OP correct me if I'm wrong?). I imagine the 20 minutes is hinged on the 4 hour day they have planned, and including a 45 minute talk takes up almost a 1/4 of that. So, I don't think it has anything to do with attention span - just trying to fit in the full itinerary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 For a 4 hour retreat which includes lunch (30 minutes minimum, possibly up to an hour) and a service, 45 minutes is a long time since I assume they have other speakers planned. If you have practiced your presentation and it is a full 45 minutes, decline. If you haven't practiced and edited and 45 is just a guesstimate, you might be surprised at what you can fit into 20 interesting minutes but you have to practice it now. Unless you are an experienced speaker, your guesstimate could easily be way too long or way too short. This could mean that you really have more than 45 minutes or that you actually have a much shorter presentation. Because of the time constraint on the whole retreat, it would be rude to not be well prepared and practice in advance. It also would be inconsiderate to plan to go over time. Don't hesitate to say no however if you really have a full 45 minutes and can't do it in 20. Then you can share at a different retreat or venue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 19, 2013 Author Share Posted November 19, 2013 Thanks, all. Lots to ponder. It would be the theme of the retreat, so the whole thing hinges on the talk. It's not a travelog (spelling?) but more of a personal journey. It's called, "Finding Jesus," and is about my pilgrimage, and how I think God showed me a Jesus I could relate to and love. He used the weaknesses in my life, the circumstances in our travels, the places and the experiences I had in the Holy Land. I hope I can share it one day! I will be writing it down and tinkering with it. If you are the praying sort, I could use a few prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Is there more than one aspect to your story. Can you focus in on one aspect and cut down that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I will pray for you. With my online phonics lessons, some I just talked and they were short enough...some were too long so I had to write out exactly what I was going to say, edit it, then read from my script. The ones that I used a script for and worked on shortening are concise and powerful. I am leaving the earlier ones less concise, you need more time to process when you are first learning a new way of doing something. I have a lot of other things to work on first, but I some point I might go back and shorten some of the later ones where I did not use a script. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Thanks, all. Lots to ponder. It would be the theme of the retreat, so the whole thing hinges on the talk. It's not a travelog (spelling?) but more of a personal journey. It's called, "Finding Jesus," and is about my pilgrimage, and how I think God showed me a Jesus I could relate to and love. He used the weaknesses in my life, the circumstances in our travels, the places and the experiences I had in the Holy Land. I hope I can share it one day! I will be writing it down and tinkering with it. If you are the praying sort, I could use a few prayers! Well, if you are the keynote speaker and it revolves around the talk, then 2 twenty minute sessions with time allotted for a little overage sounds normal. :) I'm not trying to flip flop, lol. But with each new post and additional information, I think more time for you makes more sense! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I would write the whole story out and then try condensing it to 20 minutes. If that works in a way that you are comfortable with, you could always have the unabridged version printed out for those who would like to read the rest of the story. I don't know if that would work for you or not. I think you should pray about it and try to make it fit the 20 time frame. If it just does not work in a way that you like, you should share that with the people in charge. That way you can tell them that you prayed and worked at it but it just didn't come together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 It sounds like quite a story & I'd love to hear it. I would definitely continue to talk about it with the organizers to see if you can have a larger time allowance. If you are the keynote then 45 minutes out of 4 hours isn't too much. But being someone who used to coordinate these kinds of events, please don't agree to 20 minutes & plan to go longer. I don't think you would nor have you said anything like it but other posters have. I just want to say that that is quite disrespectful to the people that work hard to plan these events. Yes, sometimes things happen & it ends up working well, but that rarely happens when someone INTENDS to go over time. When you go overtime, something else needs to be cut. It's pretty pompous to think that what you have to say is so much more important than someone else's talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Thanks, all. Lots to ponder. It would be the theme of the retreat, so the whole thing hinges on the talk. It's not a travelog (spelling?) but more of a personal journey. It's called, "Finding Jesus," and is about my pilgrimage, and how I think God showed me a Jesus I could relate to and love. He used the weaknesses in my life, the circumstances in our travels, the places and the experiences I had in the Holy Land. I hope I can share it one day! I will be writing it down and tinkering with it. If you are the praying sort, I could use a few prayers! I think might make sense to have a chat to the retreat organizers and see the entire day plan. It's very tough to see whether 20 minutes is long or short compared to the entire program. It also may give the organizers some information that they might be trying to fit in too many speakers or activities into one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Tell them the truth- You have a story but it is 45 minutes long. You'd love to share it but that's not possible in 20 minutes. Let them know that you can split it into segments, but you are not comfortable leaving anything out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I find it hard to grasp that 20 minutes is not long enough to get the story across. Generally, you can "teach" anything in 20 minutes, if you put your nose to the grindstone... but it is the lyrical nature of storytelling that takes time. Is there a way you can reduce some of your story to point form, while giving full narrative attention to the most important/moving/inspirational bits? That's the tactic that most excellent public speakers seem to take. There is a strategic difference between "giving a talk" and "just talking" -- and it's largely about efficiency, brevity and using well-chosen words that pop. Example: you can skip, "Many of you know that last {whenever} I went on an x week long trip to Israel with y organization and abc family members. While we were there one of the first things we did/saw was..." And say instead, "In {the place} in Israel, there is / I saw..." Your 20 minute time-budget might be quite efficient if you allocate 8 minutes for point form info & various transitions, surrounding 4 "substantive" stories of fully 3 minutes each (or 3 stories of 4 minutes). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 What might be tripping you up here is looking at this as "telling your story" vs. "sharing a key learning or insight". You've already decided you can't "tell your story" in 20 minutes. And that's totally ok. But can you share one key learning or insight from the trip at this retreat? If you knew ahead of time that these women would only retain one key point from your talk, what would you want that one point to be? Can you get that point across in 20 min.? For a 20 min. time slot, I would plan on talking for about 10 min. and leave the other 10 min. for Q&A/discussion. People tend to get much more out of presentations and will retain the info better if it's interactive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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