Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Inspire me, please! My husband and I have between us seven nieces and nephews, four of whom are now parents. We quit giving gifts to the nieces/nephews on my husband's side of the family after the kids graduated from college or established themselves as adults. There is an exception here: one of the girls is a crafter like me. She and I always make things for each other. My family is small in number--one niece and nephew. They give us gifts, we give them gifts. I don't know if that will ever change. But here is my question. The next generation is coming along. I now have six grand nieces and nephews between the two sides of the family. I am the aunt who often sends Valentines, Easter cards, Halloween cards with a two dollar or five dollar bill folded within. I don't mind doing this and, if I skip a holiday, it does not matter. But there is this thing called Christmas... I am truly trying to simplify my life. I feel a certain obligation to send the grand nieces and nephews gifts--although that obligation may be of my own creation. One of the grands to whom I am closest gets a check for his savings account. The parents are not as well off as some members of the family and they really appreciate this. I was going out of my way to craft what I thought were cool gifts but as the number of the grands increases I am not sure that I want to make things for each. Occasionally, yes. I hate feeling obligated. So what you do you think I should do? Send each child a nice book and maybe a handmade item (possibly a Christmas ornament)? Should I just send a gift card to Barnes and Noble and wishes of good cheer? Is there a clever family gift that is simple? There are two families with two children each (all kids are six and under). Should I just stop the nonsense now if I feel it is stressing me out? I can afford gifts but I hate giving people junk that is tossed out or sold at the next yard sale. Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I vote for family gift! A (educational) DVD, microwave popcorn and licorice "basket" A homemade pizza night basket, pizza sauce, boboli, pepperoni new pizza cutter .... A gift certificate to the theater Cookie mix in a jar Box of groceries--my granny used to do this! I loved it because she sprinkled shelled peanut inside and I got to eat those right away. :)) Gas card Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 I vote for family gift! A (educational) DVD, microwave popcorn and licorice "basket" A homemade pizza night basket, pizza sauce, boboli, pepperoni new pizza cutter .... A gift certificate to the theater Cookie mix in a jar Box of groceries--my granny used to do this! I loved it because she sprinkled shelled peanut inside and I got to eat those right away. :)) Gas card Nice ideas for families with older kids but we are talking babies and toddlers here. ETA: These families also live in other states so I mail the gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I think I would send each child a book you loved with your children via amazon. Maybe the families with multiple kids get something like the Madeleine Treasury. Unless they really appreciate it do not craft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 IF you feel like it is something you can manage, I have always loved the handmade ornaments. I had an aunt who made these for all the kids, and we got a new one each year. When I left home mine all came with me and adorn our tree still. I associate them with the year in which they were given, and each one has the year marked on it. If you want to do more, or instead, give a small family gift. Since you have to mail them, a single gift card for books, a meal, or activity. My mother buys our annual zoo membership as our Xmas present, but I can see that being a pain to do for many... Honestly, just sending the mother a family check to use as she sees fit for Xmas will probably be the most welcome! And if the kids already have too many presents she has the option to bank it or use it for post-holiday bills. You can always send it with a tin of goodies:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 I think I would send each child a book you loved with your children via amazon. Maybe the families with multiple kids get something like the Madeleine Treasury. Unless they really appreciate it do not craft. An excellent point. One wonders sometimes if the effort is appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Family membership gift? Do you have any cool children's museums or zoos nearby? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I have no suggestions, but I am feeling Grinchy too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Family membership gift? Do you have any cool children's museums or zoos nearby? I checked for one family. One hundred dollars plus for a membership is more than I care to spend. If I was grandma, it might be another issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 We are in a similar situation except I'm not crafty. This year I have 4 grandnephews all under the age of 5. I was at a store the other day and noticed some really cute knitted stockings that had initials on them. They are short and wide, kind of chunky. So I bought each one a stocking with the appropriate initial. I will fill those stockings with little things like candy, games, puzzles, etc. and I'll try to be age appropriate LOL. Filling them can cost whatever I feel like spending. It was just a way to simplify my Christmas shopping list - getting all 4 something similar. I like the idea of an ornament. Maybe a personalized one for each? Would that be too time consuming? It's something that the parent can put back for the child and bring out when he/she will truly appreciate it. Maybe you could attach a big candy cane to each ornament? That way the child has something immediate as well as a keepsake. My boys have finally come to appreciate all the special ornaments they have. I made it a point to purchase a new ornament for each son every Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 We are in a similar situation except I'm not crafty. This year I have 4 grandnephews all under the age of 5. I must say that your family does know how to produce boys! The first girl that comes along is going to be spoiled rotten! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I must say that your family does know how to produce boys! The first girl that comes along is going to be spoiled rotten! My niece is pregnant with her third (after 2 boys). She had an ultrasound yesterday on what she said was a really lousy machine (in the docs office) and the doc said she would guess "girl". Well, this niece is really hoping for a girl but now she's upset because she doesn't know for sure. Anyway, I'm sort of scared it will be a girl. What does one DO with a girl?!?! I've got the boy thing down :) ETA: There were 3 girls in our family. I only have sisters :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I don't remember what kind of crafter you are, but if they are all still young I would think these for the boys and these for the girls would be easy to whip up. If you have any leftover fleece hanging around, that's what I would use for both patterns (maybe felt for the faces). OR just tell the adults in the family that you are focusing on only your immediate family this year and not to expect gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I used to do a bunch for the step-grand-nieces/nephews as well as their parents and grandparents. One of my resources was Oriental Trading Company (dot com), where you can get some halfway decent stuff for very reasonable prices. I would (and still do) always buy at least one "real gift" for each child, either a toy or craft set or whatever feels right. It doesn't have to be expensive; maybe $10 per kid. The "real gifts" usually come from some online source such as Amazon.com or Kohls.com. I used to also have my kids give stuff to everyone (usually involving their photos, artwork, and other small stuff). And I'd give the adults some practical gift(s). I scaled back a lot after the year those families didn't even bother to show up for Christmas nor acknowledge their gifts in any way. (They of course only give my kids dimestore junk, but I don't care about that - it's the effort to show that you thought about each kid.) Now I buy one modest gift for each kid, and a very modest family gift such as a box of cookies for the family (so the adults have something to open). It's just too much work to keep up with all that buying and wrapping for people we really aren't close to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Christmas card is enough IMO. When my son was about 3, an aunt would send him a card addressed to him. Sometimes there'd be stickers for him. He enjoyed that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 We have the only grandkids on one side of the family (my husband's -- and his mother was one of 4 kids.) -- so our kids get gifts at Christmas from ALL the great-aunts and uncles. (And Aunt Ruth, which is Uncle Roscoe's ex-wife. So an extra, basically) (The set that has a bunch of grand-nieces and nephews on the other side sends a small Barnes & Noble gift card) On my side, there are quite a few grandkids -- 10 now. So we some years they get a $10 gift from the great-aunts and uncles. Some years just a card. Since its sent as money, it tends to go in their savings account because they are blessed with WAY enough toys. But the kids do NOT think one side loves them more or anything. We are simply blessed. Growing up, we got NOTHING from the great-aunts and uncles so all of this seems very overwhelming. Send a card. Send a card with a small gift card. Do what gives you joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I vote for family gift! A (educational) DVD, microwave popcorn and licorice "basket" A homemade pizza night basket, pizza sauce, boboli, pepperoni new pizza cutter .... A gift certificate to the theater Cookie mix in a jar Box of groceries--my granny used to do this! I loved it because she sprinkled shelled peanut inside and I got to eat those right away. :)) Gas card Jane, I know you said that the kids were too young for these, but other than the gas card this stuff is fun to do with my 3 1/2 year old dd. She helps make cookies and gf pizza, we have taken her to see 2 different movies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I have grand's on dh's side too. I do family gifts that are appropriate for the children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Right now, I give my sister's kids a joint gift -- whatever the latest Christmas lego set is for the year. My brother's dd is only 3, so I get her whatever they tell me she wants. My SIL's kids get Christmas pjs every year. I'll continue until they are 18 and then I will only be focusing on my parents, my husband, my children and their children (hoping they have some). I've watched my mom get so entrenched in buying so many gifts for Christmas, it has totally taken all the joy out of the holiday for her. It is nothing but stress for her anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Do something different every year and it won't be so much pressure. They won't be expecting anything in particular and will find it fun to open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 I don't remember what kind of crafter you are, but if they are all still young I would think these for the boys and these for the girls would be easy to whip up. If you have any leftover fleece hanging around, that's what I would use for both patterns (maybe felt for the faces). OR just tell the adults in the family that you are focusing on only your immediate family this year and not to expect gifts. Looks like you frequent the Sew Mama Sew website (that had links to the above) too! Last week I stitched up the quilted fish from the baby/toddler idea list. That one though is not for Christmas. The newest member of the family was born just last week. I am sending the fish with a congratulatory check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Right now, I give my sister's kids a joint gift -- whatever the latest Christmas lego set is for the year. My brother's dd is only 3, so I get her whatever they tell me she wants. My SIL's kids get Christmas pjs every year. I'll continue until they are 18 and then I will only be focusing on my parents, my husband, my children and their children (hoping they have some). I've watched my mom get so entrenched in buying so many gifts for Christmas, it has totally taken all the joy out of the holiday for her. It is nothing but stress for her anymore. This is probably a topic for another thread. My sister has been the over the top gift giver but I decided a long time ago not to compete. In fact, my gift giving has been changing over the years as the family changes and as situations change. During the economic collapse, I drew my line in the sand and asked that people donate money to a food bank instead of spending it on me. I was called a stick in the mud. Part of the reason that I have turned to homemade gifts is the joy it brings me. The latest problem though is the growing number of grands. I would rather knit socks for people who love them than knit stuff that might end up in someone's giveaway pile. The six grand nieces/nephews are ages 6, 3, 2, 1, 1, new born. Obviously a growing problem. ;) The parents in these families are all professionals with good incomes. The couple who work in education make less than the others so I try to help fund that grand's college savings. Thanks to everyone for your ideas! I am mulling things over. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Looks like you frequent the Sew Mama Sew website (that had links to the above) too! Last week I stitched up the quilted fish from the baby/toddler idea list. That one though is not for Christmas. The newest member of the family was born just last week. I am sending the fish with a congratulatory check. Yep! Dangerous site with too many good ideas. Not enough time to do them all. I am thinking my nephews might end up with some of the monster characters this year. I really don't want to spend much on anyone as the bank account is currently going ouchie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I think a book is always a welcome gift! What a thoughtful auntie. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I think a book is always a welcome gift! What a thoughtful auntie. :) Just make sure the book is appropriate for the age and sex. My MIL sent the boys books one year. My oldest got a Cinderella press and read book, another got a talking Tonka book - he was about 9 at the time. I'm still not sure what she was thinking.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I have four great-aunts (my mom's sisters) and three great-great-aunts (my grandmother's sisters) that sound like you, OP. When we were kids, it'd be every holiday. Now the great-great aunts usually stick to birthdays and Christmas, but my kids still get Valentine's Day, Easter & Halloween cards from the great-aunts. All of our kids do, and we're breeders so it's no small army! The lesser holidays usually produce a card with the aforementioned stickers, scratch-off ticket, pocket craft, movie ticket, etc. The bigger holidays bring something a bit more substantial but still do-able when you're buying (and shipping!) for 23+ grand and great neices and nephews. One great-aunt's thing is book gift cards. It used to be Walden's Books, and is now Barnes & Noble. As a kid I got $5, which actually bought a book back then, and now she gives kids $10 until they hit married-with-children status at which point the adult is dropped off and the child assumes the gift. LOL Another aunt sends crisp $2 bills, which is always exciting for some reason, even for little ones. I have a collection of crisp $2s that I could never bring myself to spend, to which my kids' annual gift of a crisp $2 is being added. It's going to be the only inheritence my kids get, I think! I tell you what, there is nothing I look more forward to at Christmas than my one great-great aunt's book gift card! For decades the anticipation has been so great, and I'd spend November looking for JUST the right book. My brother isn't a reader, and has been giving me his gift card for 30 years. LOL Even though it's never been his favorite gift, he still asks every day in December if our card from Auntie has come in yet. There's just something awesome about the tradition of it all. So that gets my vote. It's also easily re-gifted. ;) I don't have and great-nieces or nephews yet, but I do send my cousins' kids restaurant gift cards every year for their birthdays. Not a lot, just $5-10 for McD or Sonic or somewhere to get a shake or treat. I already dibs'd the book gift cards when my great-aunt is ready to retire the commitment. Yes, I'm that relative. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Since they are so little and this is a classical education board I will suggest Cozy Classics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Since they are so little and this is a classical education board I will suggest Cozy Classics The board books are darling! One of them already received from me an alternate version of a Moby Dick board book: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 One of my DHs aunts would send all the kid nieces, nephews, and grand nieces and nephews a card at Christmas and birthdays with a $1 bill in it. You could set your watch by Aunt Jane and her cards. Once I even had my DH call and check on her because a birthday card was late. It doesn't matter that it wasn't much money, but my DD saved those cards and dollars for many years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 I have four great-aunts (my mom's sisters) and three great-great-aunts (my grandmother's sisters) that sound like you, OP. When we were kids, it'd be every holiday. Now the great-great aunts usually stick to birthdays and Christmas, but my kids still get Valentine's Day, Easter & Halloween cards from the great-aunts. All of our kids do, and we're breeders so it's no small army! The lesser holidays usually produce a card with the aforementioned stickers, scratch-off ticket, pocket craft, movie ticket, etc. The bigger holidays bring something a bit more substantial but still do-able when you're buying (and shipping!) for 23+ grand and great neices and nephews. One great-aunt's thing is book gift cards. It used to be Walden's Books, and is now Barnes & Noble. As a kid I got $5, which actually bought a book back then, and now she gives kids $10 until they hit married-with-children status at which point the adult is dropped off and the child assumes the gift. LOL Another aunt sends crisp $2 bills, which is always exciting for some reason, even for little ones. I have a collection of crisp $2s that I could never bring myself to spend, to which my kids' annual gift of a crisp $2 is being added. It's going to be the only inheritence my kids get, I think! I tell you what, there is nothing I look more forward to at Christmas than my one great-great aunt's book gift card! For decades the anticipation has been so great, and I'd spend November looking for JUST the right book. My brother isn't a reader, and has been giving me his gift card for 30 years. LOL Even though it's never been his favorite gift, he still asks every day in December if our card from Auntie has come in yet. There's just something awesome about the tradition of it all. So that gets my vote. It's also easily re-gifted. ;) I don't have and great-nieces or nephews yet, but I do send my cousins' kids restaurant gift cards every year for their birthdays. Not a lot, just $5-10 for McD or Sonic or somewhere to get a shake or treat. I already dibs'd the book gift cards when my great-aunt is ready to retire the commitment. Yes, I'm that relative. :p I want to share an idea with you. We sometimes fold those dollar or two dollar bills into hearts or bunnies before tucking them in the card. Tutorials are online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I vote for a family gift and/or the ornament idea. When kids leave home, they will have all those ornaments for their own Christmas trees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonlight Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 I would send a card along with a small gift card to a bookstore or even a baskin robbins for a treat! and maybe stickers or a bookmark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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