Part time workers, I am working 7p-12a need advice pls!

[3and3]

I have been working 7p-12a for awhile now. It started out as a temp job which has turned out to be permanent :) But I having major difficulties with getting everything done and getting enough sleep. My husband is home in the evening and takes care of bedtime routine with the kids, but he never has them in bed before 10p. Sometimes my oldest is still awake when I get home from work at 12:30a. So, they are never awake before 9:30a.

 

I am never asleep before 2a and get up in the morning at 7a with my husband but usually go back to sleep till 10A.

 

Has anyone else come up with a schedule that works for homeschooling this late in the day and still be able to cook dinner by 5:30 every night?

 

Right now my day is something like this start school by 11A and done by 2:30p. Only problem is that I am only able to get just the basics done and not done very well.

Since, most of my dc are behind I would like to find a way to do more but just have not been able to get it all together.

 

Any tips or pointers would be greatly appreciated!

TIA

 

 

 

[Chris in VA]

Hugs, because that sounds very demanding.

 

Sleep would be a priority for me--I'm not sure I'd get out of bed for my hubby, just wake up and give a kiss. Getting enough sleep makes it easier to be an efficient, effective teacher. Can you take a 20 min nap? Can you get to bed 30 mins earlier?

 

Dinners--I'd be using the crockpot and also cooking ahead a LOT. I actually like to prep dinner in the morning, but IIWY, I'd do it at night before bed so prep is all done and there'd just be the actual cooking time. Can you go thru your typical meals and see which could be managed that way? Can you add a few (even 4 or 5 would help) that can be done ahead mostly? Can you do a once a month (or two week if that's overwhelming) plan, and save the complicated things for the weekends? Can you assign your 11yo a few prep duties, like making the salad or cutting veggies for roasting, or making sides?

Even a few nights of help or streamlined prep can make you feel better.

 

Being behind--Can you go an extra hour and be done by 3:30 instead? 

 

Getting to the "not core but important to you" subjects--Can you switch up the order and for two days a week, start with those subjects? Can you make those subjects (probably history/science/art, am I correct?) serve double-duty by incorporating writing/reading/basic skills into them from time to time? 

[Snickerdoodle]

Sleep needs to be a priority with you because once you get that chronic sleep deprivation going it seems to snowball into feeling like you are out of control with lots of other things.

 

Stop getting up with your husband.  He is a big boy now and can get himself out the door to work on time by himself.   

 

When the kids start their school day later, they end later.    Nothing wrong with them working in the kitchen while you prep meals.     This is par for the course for us.   Mine even have their favorite kitchen perch for narrating or topic discussion while I prep food.

 

Your older is old enough to start learning to prepare dinner.   Let her do one dinner a week during the weekday while you work with the youngers.

 

 

[mafi39]

I work part time in the evenings as well.  My schedule varies, sometimes I am home by 8, 10:30 and there will be an occasional midnight.  It has been a big adjustment for us as well.  I am utitlizing my crockpot more, I don't get up with hubby (just give him a kiss as he leaves), my kids are 10 and 11 so they let me sleep in.  The latest I can sleep has been 9.  I try to get school going by 9:30 or 10.  Making a meal plan has been helpful and I try to get all the prep done for hubby.  We try to eat supper together but sometimes I need to leave the house by 4, so they eat and I eat when I get home.  I take a 20 minute power nap almost every day.  It's my sanity saver.  Not getting enough sleep is hard but the naps do help!  I usually do it during the kids daily reading/quiet time.

 

Most days we get all the school work done.  Making a list for the kids has been helpful.  They just check it off while they go.  On days where I feel more rested, we attack the extras and get them done.  I tell the kids that this is a busy season for our family, we just have to work together to get it all done and do the best we can!  good luck

[Annie G]

Agreeing with Chris- getting up with dh and then going back to sleep is not helping. That sleep interruption is probably more disruptive than you think. 

 

I don't work nights like you do, but I do come in right at dinnertime three days a week and what has really helped me is batch cooking. I make spaghetti sauce and portion and freeze it- four meals at  a time.  So we have spaghetti once a week for four weeks. The same goes for taco meat. I make the meat and simmer in the crockpot and Wednesday is taco night here. With the meat already prepped, it's easy to throw together. And if we want burritos or enchiladas, it's easy to turn the meat into those.    It might be boring to eat the same things but it might be worth a try to get you on a routine that is easy and reduces stress.  Having planned meals and using a crockpot to start dinner early in the day can really help. 

 

Have you talked to dh about getting the kids to bed earlier? Is he supportive of you working?  If the kids went to bed earlier and got up earlier, are you comfortable sleeping while they're up?  Would he do some reading to the kids in the evening- SOTW or lit books? 

 

You ARE going to have a time crunch.  When you started working you lost about 6 hours of your day- that's a lot. I'm guessing that before you started working you weren't sitting around with 6 hours of spare free time. So yeah, this will take some schedule jiggling and some extra effort on everyone's part.

 

 Hugs to you- the first year I went back to work our schedule and routine had to be completely reworked. Several times. But finally we found what works for us- you will, too. 

[Scarlett]

I would work on getting the 11 year old in bed and asleep earlier. And if you can get to bed earlier and up just a bit earlier it will help a lot. If your 11 yo is asleep when you get home it will be easier for you to try to get to sleep by 1:00.

 

Then if your 11 yo can be awake by 8:00 she should be able to do some work on her own even if you cant get up at 8:00.

[3and3]

I just realized I need to update my dc ages they are 12yo dd, almost 11yo dd, 9yo ds, and twin dss 5yo. I have been thinking of teaching my 12yo to cook more. She can make easy stuff like grill cheese, fry gr beef, etc. My almost 11yo does breakfast every morning.  

 

I know I need to stop getting up with dh every morning, but it has been the only time we can talk without dc around kwim. So I have been reluctant to do it, but not getting enough sleep is starting take its toll.

 

I like the idea of crockpot meals, but if I don't get it started till 11A/12p a lot of times it is not finished before 5:30. I usually plan out easy meals 30 min or less if I have to leave the house for extra curric activities. And I just informed my oldest 3 that they would be responsible for making sure their laundry was done once a week and I assigned them each a different day of the week.

 

I will definitely make up a list of subjects that need to be completed each day for the girls. My 9yo ds has learning challenges and I have to work one on one with him most of the time or it just won't get done. And then there is the twins that just started K this year, but I am very relaxed with them 10/15min 3 days week and lots of educational games and TV.

 

Thanks for all the advice!!

[MamaAkins]

I've worked nights for almost 4 years now (usually only a few nights per week, but I also do childcare during the day, so I don't have the ability to sleep in past 7am.  Honestly, you're going to have to make some compromises.  If you work till midnight, you need to be in bed by 1am.  Sleep till 8.  That's 7 hours of sleep.  Get up, get dinner ready in the crockpot. Set on low and it will be ready for 5:30 dinner.  Wake your children up ....don't wait for them to get up on their own.  Start school by 9, 9:30 at the latest.  That would give you an adequate amount of time for schoolwork. and hopefully allow you to get your children back on track, academically.  That would still give you a little free time in the afternoon to either take a quick rest or get housework done before dinner & work.  You need to communicate your needs to your dh.  If he wants you to continue working, then he's going to have to be on board with helping--especially getting the kids to bed at a decent hour.

[Scarlett]

I understand wanting to get up with your dh. I always get up with mine. It is easy to see why working these sort of opposite shifts often causes marital strain....but I know you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

Is your dh still awake with you until 2:00.

 

I would enlist the help of your 11 yo and 12 old in getting crock pot meals started in the morning.

 

Sleep interruption is not good for you. I bet you have had enough of that with so many children! Lol.....I was just telling someone yesterday that was the most difficult part of being a mom....lack of sleep when he was a newborn....now that I have a 13 year old I am starting to rethink that.

[Anne in CA]

As far as getting as much school work done with your kids i the least amount of time I would use bursts of tutoring. Sit with one and work with them until their attention is waning and then move to the next. This is a great technique for helping kids who are behind. You will get a lot more learning accomplished by sitting with a child for ten minutes than you will be giving them a whole workbook to do by themselves. 

[Tap]

I would tell dh that if he isn't going to enforce a bedtime, you will not be getting up with him in the AM.  If the kids are going to sleep in till 10 then you are too.  Since you and the kids are all going to be getting a full 8 hours of sleep, you will hopefully be able to get up and get started by 11am.  School from 11am-5pm with 2x 30 minute breaks using one of them to prep dinner.  

 

 

You are working out of the home for 5 hours plus drive time.  There will be a price to be paid for that.  Either dh needs to step up or you will have to fix some other part of your schedule.

 

[bettyandbob]

agreeing with all the above. You are working 25 hours a week, plus homeschooling sleep and household chores need to be managed to make it work.

 

dh must get dc in bed on time. No getting around that AT ALL. If dh is usually up when you get home, this is probably the better time to see eachother rather than you getting up with him in the morning. This means he must be done with dc before you get home.

 

menu plan dinner and use the crockpot a lot. I use the crock pot 2 to 3 times a week and have one leftover night. In your case I'd prep the next night's meal while the kids are setting the table and serving the current nights dinner. Chop veggies and put in Tupperware type containers, measure spices into a small bowl with lid, everything that is before the "throw it in crockpot and turn on step". As soon as you get up, Throw it in the crockpot and turn on. On nights you don't use the crockpot, you can still menu plan. Another thing I used to do that was very helpful was freezer meals. I made 4 family sized freezer meals of 4 or 5 recipes (favorite casseroles, quiches , soups ect) and filled my freezer. Aside from filling the crockpot twice a week, I didn't cook regular weekday meals except on 4 weekends a year. If you have an extra freezer this can be a very helpful approach. Defrost the meal and open a bag of salad and you have dinner made.

 

After you get those basics in place, I'd start trying to get school started around 10. I won't get into how to manage homeschool time because that can't be adjusted until you fix the dinner and bedtime issues. Once those issues are under control you will have enough sleep and time to get beyond basics in school.

 

 

 

 

[Jenn121]

Could you prep the crock pot when you get home and your DH could push the button before he leaves for work?  (((((HUGS))))) Tough schedule to try to organize.

[freesia]

I would concentrate on getting any of your group work done first. I would then meet with my 12 yo to go over subjects. Then the 12 yo has independent work, which, if he is staying up until 12, can be done in the evening. Then I would work with the 9 yo and get as much done as I can. I think it's realistic to ask dh to get something done with the 9yo in the evening, too, if you don't get to it. When I looked at SWB's schedule, I noticed that since she worked pt,her husband did some subjects with dc. Realistically, dh needs to do something with the kids or get them to bed earlier.

 

Take care of yourself, I'm afraid you'll burn out.

[lmrich]

One word: weekend.

 

I do not have your schedule, but I work a lot and am too busy. I cook all meals on the weekend. I also do schoolwork on the weekend to get caught up - Saturday but I like to get ahead on Sunday nights with them.

 

Good luck!

[Seasider]

You need to get your dh on board with stricter bedtimes! They can get up with him at 7am and let you sleep in. You are working to provide for them. You need your sleep. You are not depriving your kids or your dh if you don't get up at 7am. You need UNINTERRUPTED sleep for it to be restorative.

 

Each afternoon/evening, I'd prepare a list of independent work items for the kids to tackle on their own. When you awake, you can check off those assignments and move on from there. Of course it will take training them into it, but it can be done. At the very least, almost any 5yo can start the DVD player with a science or history video!

 

I feel your pain as I also work late hours. Independent work assignments have enabled us to progress despite my low daytime energy level. Dh cooperating is a BIG help. He knows where my earnings are going - to necessities, not luxuries - and this makes him more willing to help out. It would be different, I suspect, if I were just working for manicure money.

[Alenee]

I work full time in the evenings, leaving for work at 2pm, returning at 11pm. I do all group work with the girls first and then release them to finish their independent work. I also order their independent work that they may need assistance with so that it's being done while I'm still home. I try to get meat thawed for dinner ahead of time or start something in the crock pot. Some nights, it's just 'fend for yourselves'.

 

A supportive husband makes all the difference. My dh is on top of bed time because HE needs to get to bed by 10pm. He also thinks about dinner options throughout the day knowing I may drop the ball (he was NOT a cook AT ALL before this but he's stepping up and trying new things). All this being said, you both need to find a way to get on the same page and support each other, tackling these issues with plans made ahead for the least amount of stress.

[NicAnn]

Consider changing your week- do more of the core subjects on weekends. I work 5am-12 right now. We have a light schedule on those days, just math and reading. Then on the weekends we do two full days.

[3and3]

WOW! I knew this was the right place to go for advice. All of you have given me ALOT to think about and plan out.

 

First thing I will work on is packing dh lunch before I go to bed. Since he is still up when I get home he can help me with that:) And I will no longer feel guilty for not getting up early with dh. Thanks everyone :chillpill:

 

Next I will plan meals out differently since this is pay week I will make sure I get more meals dds can do and more crock pot meals.

 

Finally I will forgive myself for not being like all the other homeschoolers I know IRL that can get up by 7A and start school by 9a be done by 1p. This is just not the way it is going to work in our home.

 

Thanks again for all the great advice.

[Lisa in SC]

I have old crockpots, so this may not work with newer ones, but I find I can "cheat" the cooking time by starting mine on high for a couple of hours, then turning it to low. I don't work outside of the home at the moment, although I do from time to time. Right now, my time is more crunched than usual because my elderly dh lives with us and I'm the 40+ hour caregiver for our granddaughter. Dh is soooo helpful. We prep the crockpot the night before and put the crock part in the refrigerator. He leaves a note for himself to put it in the pot part and turn it on before he leaves in the morning.

 

We get the basic subjects done Monday through Thursday. Friday is for "specials." These are art, Konos this year, foreign language, computer programming, keyboarding...and I think something(s) I'm forgetting. Occasionally, I use Friday for field trips. I also use evenings for read-aloud and projects I want dh to be involved in like cow eye dissection.

 

I'm also fortunate that dh has never wanted me to get up with him. He leaves around 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. He prefers to get up, jump through the shower, turn on the crockpot, grab his stuff for the day and be out of the house. This takes about 10 minutes, and he likes the fact that no one is up. So, I'm a lucky girl in that respect. I wish you luck in figuring out a workable routine!

[Catwoman]

WOW! I knew this was the right place to go for advice. All of you have given me ALOT to think about and plan out.

 

First thing I will work on is packing dh lunch before I go to bed. Since he is still up when I get home he can help me with that:) And I will no longer feel guilty for not getting up early with dh. Thanks everyone :chillpill:

 

Next I will plan meals out differently since this is pay week I will make sure I get more meals dds can do and more crock pot meals.

 

Finally I will forgive myself for not being like all the other homeschoolers I know IRL that can get up by 7A and start school by 9a be done by 1p. This is just not the way it is going to work in our home.

 

Thanks again for all the great advice.

Why doesn't your dh pack his own lunch? Is there any reason why he can't cook dinner?

[Lisa in SC]

Why doesn't your dh pack his own lunch? Is there any reason why he can't cook dinner?

I agree that most husbands are capable of packing their own lunches. Dh always has. If you want to make it especially easy, use a largish plastic container full of lunch fixings in the refrigerator. This is what I do for my FIL. He can still make himself a sandwich, but was getting confused about where to find everything. So, I made a lunch bin for him. I vary the contents by week, but it always contains a new type of bread, some fillings for sandwiches, and little serving size containers of sides like applesauce, potato salad, etc., as well as some ready to eat fresh fruit and sometimes some little cherry tomatoes. He just has to pull out the bin, make his lunch and put the bin back in the refrigerator.

[bettyandbob]

I think your dh should pack his own lunch. I didn't see that was the reason you were getting up with him.

 

Dinner may be harder since he's probably getting home late enough that dinner should have been started or the kids would be eating really late. So, I'm sticking with my advice about menu planning and using the crock pot.

[Wabi Sabi]

I homeschool and work full-time evenings/nights/weekends. It's a constant work in progress, but there are certain strategies I've found that help:

 

1. I give "homework" on days when I have long shifts (i.e.: tonight I'm working 8pm until noon tomorrow.) I'll make a packet of work and a checklist for each child to do with their father. For instance, I gave my 9 year old a list of 6 items to complete before I get home tomorrow: a math review page, spelling (Sequential Spelling on DVD can be done 100% independently- highly recommend!), piano practice, finish the last two chapters of a book he's reading, review flash cards and complete a word puzzle.

 

2. Audiobooks! I read to them as much as I can, but found that I was often too tired to read for very long. Just recently I've started to rely heavily on audiobooks. They can listen when I'm not home, they listen when we're driving in the car, they listen when we're home but I need to rest after a night shift, etc. If we're listening at home (not in the car) they usually do so while sitting at the table and quietly playing with play-dough, coloring a related picture from a Dover coloring book, building with Legos or something similar.

 

3. Dh packs his own lunch and gets breakfast ready for the kids in the morning. As for our meals, it's always one of our biggest stumbling blocks, but I've found that we do best when we stick with very simple meals. Big pots of soups will last for 2-3 meals. If I roast a chicken on one of my days off I might as well go ahead and roast two birds, then eat on it for a couple of days. As much as possible we try to cook once and eat twice (or three or four times, LOL!)

 

4. Find a few things that each child can do independently each morning. My 9 year old has a routine: after breakfast each day he practices piano, does his spelling DVD, xtramath and then reads until I get up (or until I get home if it happens that I worked an overnight.) Sometimes I'll also leave out a word puzzle, a review sheet, or something else he can do on his own. The kindergartener can do dot-to-dots, a couple of pages out of her ETC books, color a picture, a cutting page and so forth. Sometimes I'll leave a game (chess set, Art Memo, Rat a Tat Cat) or a jigsaw puzzle out for them to do together. They can also work the DVD player by themselves, and I don't have a problem with them watching an educational show. Some of our favorites include Reading Rainbow, Wishbone, Magic School Bus, Liberty's Kids and The Electric Company. This, combined with dh getting breakfast started, buys me an hour or two of extra time in the mornings.

 

5. I outsource. I have to be realistic about my limitations. My kids like artsy, crafty, creative, hands-on projects. Despite my best intentions, we just don't get them done at home. So, one day every other week they go to a Waldorf inspired homeschool class where they get to paint, sing songs, put on plays with other children and listen to folktales while I get the day to rest (yay!) or run errands (difficult to squeeze in since I'm usually HSing by day and working by night/weekend!)

 

Don't get me wrong: we certainly don't have this all figured out, and I also only have two kids to worry about, but slowly we seem to be finding strategies that work for our situation. It's always a juggling act, that's for sure!

[Rubix]

I work pm's also, 4-11.  With driving, I am usually home before 12.  I face the same challenges.  I'll second some ideas others gave - crock pot works well.  I will fill the night before and leave in the refrigerator.  Then, DH starts it when he leaves for work.  I don't get up in the morning, and for the most part he makes dinner when I work, I also don't make his breakfast/lunch.  There are some differences though since I am going to work before dinner, and my DH leaves for work a little after 4am. 

 

We don't spend time together in the morning when he gets up, or in the evening when I get home.  It's too hard on our sleep schedules.  Although, sometimes there are exceptions, but we're not really talking then! 

 

The kids and I also do school in the evenings I am off, on weekends, etc.  It would be great to have that time for other things, but with working truly you have to give up some of your expectations.  I hear you about not being like the other homeschoolers who are up early.  We struggle with mornings too!  We had classical conversations last year at nine and had to drag ourselves there! 

 

If the kids get to bed earlier, and you skip the am awakening with DH, I would think that both you and the kids could get started a little earlier, and your day won't be so rushed.  At least some of the time.  I have really come to understand that having both of us work, especially different shifts, is really hard.  There are sacrifices to it, and you have to be ok with doing things differently than other families.