Seriously? and they worry about our socialization?

[swellmomma]

Too funny not to share.  So this last week my fb feed has been a flutter with the public school moms from the elementary school in the next town.  These were moms I met at dd6s dance lessons last year so their girls are the same age as my youngest.  Apparently the teachers decided that the kids in the school were spending too much time at recess playing with the friends they already made and not making new friends so they implemented a new rule (and have been enforcing it).  The children may not play with any child other than those in their own class during recess.  There is 3 grade 1 classes for example, the students in 1A may not play with the students in 1B or 1C nor may they play with older or younger students, not even siblings!  The same rule for all the grades has been implemented.  Children have been spending their recesses crying when teachers come and separate 2 friends playing nicely and tell them they are not allowed to play together because they are different classes.  2 girls went home asking mom why they as sisters aren't allowed to play together anymore.  The moms are furious and have been going to in talk to the teachers and principal but the rule remains, because apparently it is in the best interest of all the children.

SO I have been watching this all unfold on my friend's statuses and did post on the one the first day I heard about this hoping the school would listen to reason.  But also put in there that for all the worry about the "lack of socialization" my homeschooled kids will get it looks like the public schoolers aren't getting it either.  I mean really? Being stuck with the same kids 7 hours a day is bad enough but at least kids had the freedom at recess (morning and lunch) to see other friends, have fun, connect with siblings etc and now they can't.

 

I am hoping for my friend's kids sake they admit their error and stop making this kids follow this ridiculous rule.  All they are doing is breaking down any belief that the teacher is right that the kids may have had, and that is not going to go well for the teachers imo.  I know from the statuses that they have been telling the kids the teacher is wrong, they (the parents) do not believe this rule is right, but that the kids have to still obey until the parents get it fixed, but to not worry if the teacher brings it up because she/he doesn't know what she/he is talking about anyway. 

Before this rule this week the parents had been posting about how wonderful their child's teacher was, how he/she only wants good things for their kid, how much fun they are going to have etc.  Now they are posting that the teachers are idiots, their kids are home crying each day, and they as parents are not being listened to when they go in to discuss it. 

 

Anyway, these moms are the same ones that asked me about socialization at dance classes, they were the type that honestly thought the kids only got it at school but were open minded to see differently. And here it is their kids that are failing to receive any form of socialization, socializing or social skill building thanks to a stupid arbitrary rule. 

[Word Nerd]

That's completely absurd. The parents should make the local media aware of it.

[marbel]

Wow. I also hope it get to the local media.  Absurd.

[maize]

Perhaps the teachers should be required to never socialize with anyone but those who live on their block. That would be equally arbitrary.

[swellmomma]

The "local media" is in the form of a small newspaper.  If this is still going on next week I am sure someone will contact them.  The town this is happening in has a population of approc 4,500, so there is no major media outlets there beyond neighborly gossip haha.  But I bet the small town paper would cover it if one of those parents contacted them.  There was no school friday and again on monday so we will have to see come tuesday if they have cancelled this stupid rule or not.

[Karen in CO]

That makes me think about John Holt's book about the real lessons of school.  These kids are learning that they have to obey and do as they're told even if they feel it is wrong.  They're also learning their parents don't have the power to make things right.

[swellmomma]

That makes me think about John Holt's book about the real lessons of school.  These kids are learning that they have to obey and do as they're told even if they feel it is wrong.  They're also learning their parents don't have the power to make things right.

 

Yup, both lessons I don't want my kids to learn.  Obedience yes but not blind obedience kwim and certainly never want them to see/learn I am powerless as their mother to help them/change things etc.  As far as they are concerned even with all my flaws I still can rope the moon. They believe there is nothing I couldn't do to make things right for them.  They are right. And I wouldn't want some idiotic school bureaucracy to crush that.

[*Michelle*]

In a town of 4500 people, I'm surprised that every parent is not at the school grounds demanding a change.  That's a small school in a small town.  I would think the people would feel more ownership of their school and be comfortable speaking up.  :(

[swellmomma]

In a town of 4500 people, I'm surprised that every parent is not at the school grounds demanding a change.  That's a small school in a small town.  I would think the people would feel more ownership of their school and be comfortable speaking up.  :(

I don't think everyone knows.  There was no notice to parents, they are finding out from each other (the parents of kids who say very little about school), or when their kids are home crying.  Even within those that know they didn't know how severe it was.  Like they thought it was by grade level which they didn't like but dealt with and then found out from other moms it was by classroom not grade etc.  This started on monday last week and there was no school on friday, so they only had 4 days of this ruling in place, we will see next week as more parents hear what is going on.  The fact they put this rule into place monday without a word to parents, no notice or explaination etc tells me they knew parents were going to be upset and didn't want to deal with them.

[Jeannie in NJ]

this really takes the cake.  Deciding who kids can play with at recess?  If my dc were in public school, I would be at that school so fast complaining.  I really don't understand the reasoning behind kids only being allowed to play with the same kids that they spend the entire rest of the day with.  How about letting them make new friends .

[Tangerine]

I realize by "classes" we are talking about school classes, but there is just something so very caste-esque about being told "You may not play with someone from a different class!"

[Jean in Newcastle]

It seems to me that they have definition two of socialization:  "the act or process of making socialistic" down pat.  

[KrissiK]

Wow, talk about making an artificial social situation even more artificial. One thing I love about our homeschool group is that there is such a wide variety of ages and they all play together.

[msjones]

Having taught elementary school, I am amazed that the school staff has enough time to manage such a rule.  

 

I will say, though, my guess is that a parent or two complained about cliques.

[swellmomma]

Having taught elementary school, I am amazed that the school staff has enough time to manage such a rule.  

 

I will say, though, my guess is that a parent or two complained about cliques.

 

That has been the guess, not about cliques though.  There was a girl who's mom complained often last year that kids weren't letting her play, turns out she was a bully and the kids didn't want to play with her because she was mean but the teachers made them.  It became a big thing after one of the kids was hurt fairly badly by that girl.  The problem is now that the moms are already speculating who would be a complainer, so it has potential to blow into a witch hunt if folks aren't careful.  I am hoping that enough parents complain that by next week this stupid rule is gone.

[lynn]

This just makes me want to cry. What child is oing to understand why they can't play with a child from another class.

[idnib]

When my son says something rude or extreme ("I hate..." eg) I always correct him. When he overheard DH and I talking about this thread, he said, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard." It's the first time I didn't say anything because it's in all likelihood true.

[Incognito]

This is the kind of story that would get a good 1-2min on CBC and really embarass the school.  Local letter to the editor is a start, but if it doesn't go away I bet it could go farther.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Sad.  Just, sad.

[jelbe5]

I realize by "classes" we are talking about school classes, but there is just something so very caste-esque about being told "You may not play with someone from a different class!"

I totally agree with this - it made me think that these children are learning about socialization but they are learning a very negative lesson about how one cannot socialize outside their assigned group.

 

What an incredibly foolish and destructive rule. I would love to hear what the rationale behind this is and whether or not any teacher objected to this.

[Dmmetler]

I'm betting the school will see a rash of parents wanting to transfer their child into a different class. I know that in my area, it's pretty common for friends to be separated into different classes so they don't distract each other, with the promise that "You'll get to see her at recess".

 

Of course, recess is maybe 15 minutes of the school day once you subtract the time spent getting out to the playground and back, and there's not nearly enough equipment for multiple classes of a grade, so most of the kids end up sort of milling around in a kind of Brownian motion, but that's the promise.

 

I have groups that meet at my house most weeks, and usually we have a dozen or so homeschooled kids running around playing outside (usually pretending to be something from history or mythology) The kids at the school across the street out for recess always look like they want to come join us. Actually, come to think of it, so do the teachers ;).

 

 

[goldberry]

That's insane.

 

(Nice use of "a-flutter", by the way... :) It reminds me of "kerfluffle"..)

[swellmomma]

I'm betting the school will see a rash of parents wanting to transfer their child into a different class. I know that in my area, it's pretty common for friends to be separated into different classes so they don't distract each other, with the promise that "You'll get to see her at recess".

 

Of course, recess is maybe 15 minutes of the school day once you subtract the time spent getting out to the playground and back, and there's not nearly enough equipment for multiple classes of a grade, so most of the kids end up sort of milling around in a kind of Brownian motion, but that's the promise.

 

I have groups that meet at my house most weeks, and usually we have a dozen or so homeschooled kids running around playing outside (usually pretending to be something from history or mythology) The kids at the school across the street out for recess always look like they want to come join us. Actually, come to think of it, so do the teachers ;).

 

The school has their 20 minute morning recess and then 45 minutes at lunch time, so it actually is a large chunk of time they are limited like that.  And there is ample playground equipment.  The school kids in my town often look like they want to join us too.  They don't even like us but they see the difference in the amount of fun we are having vs them and how much more we are outside etc on the nice days and what not.

 

 

[shawthorne44]

At my elementary school (3rd - 6th), we weren't allowed to talk during recess or lunch.  We could play with whomever we wanted, but it was hard to do anything but parallel play when you couldn't talk.  My parents didn't know until maybe 5th when I started to get demerits for talking in class, and they found out it was the only time I could talk.  

[PeacefulChaos]

There really needs to be a 'facepalm' smilie...

Seriously, though, that's so weird.  I've never heard such nonsense!!