Passing down cherished family recipes

[Mandylubug]

I have many family recipes passed down to me. I adore them all and always think of the loved one that made them. Most of the family members have passed on now, so when I fix these recipes, I truly do enjoy them.

 

However, I have found myself attached and stingy with one of my own recipes. I worked and tweaked this recipe after a restaurant experience while we lived out of state. I worked on it over a good year to get it perfect. It is quite costly (IMO) but it is always a special occasion and a special time when I make it. The family always contributes to the work and it is such a sweet time as a family when we work together on this recipe. I have made it for family a couple of times and members have really raved over the recipe. However, I think most of the "special" qualities of the recipe itself is actually doing it as a family, the memories it brings as we make it etc...

 

Well, I had a family member ask me to share it with them lately and I am ashamed to say, I didn't. I wasn't rude about it but I did state the "name" of the recipe and told them there were many good recipes online that they could try if they used google. Maybe it's because all the recipes that I use from other family members now have already passed away or maybe it's because I actually enjoy eating great food made by other family members without requiring the recipe for myself. I just enjoy eating food made by someone else. It is part of the experience...

 

Anyway, I offended this individual I believe and now I wonder if I was wrong to not share MY recipe with them. I should be flattered instead of holding it tightly and not sharing. Not like I can bottle it up and sell it! LOL I have shared it with out of state friends. Maybe I just want to be the only one in our circles making this recipe?! I do plan on sharing it with my kids. They could probably tell someone everything that goes into it. I'm probably just crazy and putting too much value into a recipe ;)

 

Do you share all of your recipes?

[aggieamy]

Yes, I share all my recipes. It's insurance against me losing my beloved recipes - if all my friends have copies then I can always get it from them if I manage to lose it. Most of my friends don't make the recipes I give them but I wouldn't care if they did. It doesn't make me any less of a fantastic cook if everyone can make some of my best dishes.

[Mandylubug]

I'd share any of my recipes with anyone. I really don't feel protective of them.

 

But if that is how you feel, that is how you feel.

 

Of course now I'm dying to know your recipe. LOL

 

 

Well, I won't put the name in case she googles the dish searching the recipe and comes across this forum but it is a mexican dish

[Mandylubug]

Well, what is sad is there truly isn't a "solid" recipe. I have tweaked it soooo much it is by taste now. I know if I wrote amounts down that it wouldn't taste the same anyway if you factor in different brands and cooking techniques, etc... I suppose I am just being petty and silly! ha ha.

[Mandylubug]

So tell me it has olives and a ton of onions in it that can't be left out and I won't die of curiosity.

 

 

 

ewwww olives are evil. No olives... but it is cheesy and has tons of sauteed onions and cheese :D

[Tita Gidge]

I come from a big family, tightknit community, and food is the thread that keeps us all close.

 

Every woman I know in this family and community thinks her version of {dish} is the best LOL.

 

So, we gladly share recipes knowing they'll all be personally tweaked any how. After much gossipy discussion ;)

 

It's amazing how many different kinds of fruit salads, mashed potatoes, and adobo dishes exist.

 

(And none as good as mine, go figure!)

 

But if this isn't your culture, then I understand wanting to keep a good thing secret - especially in such close social circles.

 

But not at the expense of a relationship, friend OR family. Maybe they'll tweak it to make it their own, as you did.

 

Acquaintances or strangers? Sure, keep it secret. Without guilt. Who cares about them anyway LOL.

[Orthodox6]

I share recipes occasionally, but not automatically. Although I have no restaurant experience, over the years I have become a good cook, and have created enough excellent recipes that I could publish a book, should I ever so desire. I share on a case-by-case basis. If someone really, really likes something of mine, and is a good friend, I share.

[Amira]

I'm happy to share if someone asks. There is one branch of my husband's family who makes a big deal about not sharing certain recipes. Apparently someone at some point was was a caterer (no one is anymore) and those recipes are only for immediate family- they can't be shared with anyone who isn't related. I've just stayed away from those completely because I don't want to make something that can't be shared if someone asks me for the recipe. I've never had any desire to cook any of those recipes just because they're supposed to be a secret.

 

For me, food and recipes are for sharing and making relationships. There are plenty of other things I can keep private, and I am generally a private person, but recipes are something I can share. I would be disappointed if someone wouldn't share a recipe with me, although I wouldn't be offended.

[Rose in BC]

Oh no I love Mexican food. Now I want the recipe :).

 

I can understand how you feel. I've felt that way too but I always share.

[Mabeline]

I always share recipes, but that's mostly because all my recipes are from the Internet or cookbooks. I am not an intuitive cook so I need a good recipe to make yummy food. I try new recipes all the time and keep the good ones in my recipe book.

 

I think if I had put a lot of time and effort into a recipe, like you did, I would also be hesitant to share it.

[Belacqua]

My family was not one for cherished recipes (unless you count "peel back foil to expose Tater Tots"), so it's not been an issue for me. I think learning to be a decent cook was my adolescent rebellion of choice.

 

I'm not unwilling to share recipes, but it is sometimes difficult to translate, "Chuck in a handful of whatever's lurking in the vegetable bin, and pick an appropriate seasoning, then fire in some ponzu vinegar and whatever protein you're using" into coherent instruction.

[Dory]

My one grandmother is the type to never share recipes and never let anyone cook with her so they can learn how she does things. It's very frustrating as she has a lot of recipes that her mother handed down to her that now no one knows. I share all my recipes. If I have a recipe that I've tweaked by taste (most of my favorites are that way), I'll offer for the person to come over some afternoon and make it with me. Usually, most people don't want to go to all the work of coming over to bake or cook so those recipes probably won't be passed to anyone other than my kids. I don't ever want to be like my grandma though. Good food is meant to be shared and obviously, I'm not always around to cook it for everyone.

 

I have had people I've never met before in my kitchen learning how to make cheese, simply because they heard I do it and begged to come over.

[gardenmom5]

We share all of our recipes. we actually had someone ask for one of ours (chocolate cheesecake recipe that dh developed himself), and we giggled as we told them it was in their church cookbook. My sil's mil *never* shared recipes, not even with sil. if we were feeling charitable, we only rolled eyes at her. I think it's sad she thought her 'cherished' recipes were the only reason someone would want to eat a meal with her.

[Pippen]

My one grandmother is the type to never share recipes and never let anyone cook with her so they can learn how she does things. It's very frustrating as she has a lot of recipes that her mother handed down to her that now no one knows.

 

My aunt's MIL made wonderful tortes and other desserts, many of which she tweaked or developed herself. She wanted to keep the recipes exclusively. Instead of passing down cherished family recipes that the next generations would enjoy, she took them to the grave with her and left behind an offended DIL.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I think if you had told her that you can't give the recipe because you don't know exact measurements, that would be totally understandable and not offensive at all. (My own grandmother, mother, aunts, and sister could never write down Grandma's famous potato salad recipe because they had no idea how much of everything they put in. Now my kids love it and I can't tell them either. You just kind of taste your way through it. :lol:) Telling her to Google made it less clear, but if you feel guilty now, maybe Google the recipe and e-mail her the one that seems closest to what you make. It won't be the same, but you will both feel better.

 

I have only one recipe I won't ever share (except with DH, the kids, and their progeny LOL), and that is only because it was very sweetly given to me by the owner of my favorite restaurant in Germany, who made me promise never to share it.

[Spy Car]

My problem is I don't have any "recipes." Which provokes a sense of disbelief among those who ask for my recipies, which happens somewhat frequently. Since I cook by taste using ingredients that are fresh and available (in addition to what is in my pantry) the best I can offer is an explaination of the techniques and ingredients I use to the best of my ability. But nothing is written down.

 

But if someone is interested in how something is made, I share. I don't believe in keeping food preparation secrets.

 

Bill

[KungFuPanda]

I cannot contribute to this conversation without seeing the recipe for myself. In box me and I'll get back to you.

 

I share recipes whether people want them or not. The more inspired cooks in this world the better. I swear people are forgetting how to cook!

 

You COULD pass on the recipe and leave out a secret ingredient.

[OrganicAnn]

I share recipes that I get out of cook books or from on-line. We have one family secret recipe (it really is my Aunt's) that we don't give out. I think part of sharing a recipe is that you feel comfortable the person isn't going to start bring it to family get togethers and taking credit for it. I know of family members who might do that and I wouldn't share a recipe with them. The other situation I've seen is you give them the recipe, the mess it up and they bring it to family dinner's and call it "Ann's Potato Salad" and it isn't anything like your potato salad. Anyone who I thought might do that, I would stop giving recipes to. Also once we've had the recipes for years and years at family get togethers, then it loses it uniqueness and I'm more likely to give it out.

 

So I'd say 'yes' and 'no' to giving out recipes.

[Seasider]

Well, what is sad is there truly isn't a "solid" recipe. I have tweaked it soooo much it is by taste now. I know if I wrote amounts down that it wouldn't taste the same anyway if you factor in different brands and cooking techniques, etc... I suppose I am just being petty and silly! ha ha.

 

Why don't you just explain it with the words you used here? It makes sense. Not everyone goes by written recipes.

 

I am happy to share recipes or explanations with most people who ask. However, there's one person who always asks for my recipes, makes significant changes (not for the better - mostly due to making it without the proper ingredients on hand), and is sure to tell everyone, "Oh, that's Seasider's recipe!" Um, no, it's not.... So that one doesn't get recipes from me anymore.

[Belacqua]

 

I am happy to share recipes or explanations with most people who ask. However, there's one person who always asks for my recipes, makes significant changes (not for the better - mostly due to making it without the proper ingredients on hand), and is sure to tell everyone, "Oh, that's Seasider's recipe!" Um, no, it's not.... So that one doesn't get recipes from me anymore.

 

Oh, I have a friend like that! It doesn't really bother me, as she'll cheerfully admit she's a terrible cook, but it is sometimes difficult to keep my mouth shut and not say, "Nooo! That is not my recipe! You cannot make baklava with Pillsbury pie crust, corn syrup, and crushed peanuts" [and I wish...I truly wish...I had invented that for dramatic purposes, but no...she actually tried to give me credit for that recipe].

[DawnM]

My MIL got all upset when I asked for a recipe. She finally gave it to me and told me I was only allowed to make it if I swore NEVER to bring it to a family event.

 

Turns out the recipe is all over the internet anyway....... :glare:

 

Now, if anyone actually had been given my Grandmother's 7 layer banana cake I would be thrilled. I am quite sure it died with her.

 

As to the OP, I admit I too would be offended or hurt by your response.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Why don't you just explain it with the words you used here? It makes sense. Not everyone goes by written recipes.

I am happy to share recipes or explanations with most people who ask. However, there's one person who always asks for my recipes, makes significant changes (not for the better - mostly due to making it without the proper ingredients on hand), and is sure to tell everyone, "Oh, that's Seasider's recipe!" Um, no, it's not.... So that one doesn't get recipes from me anymore.

 

I used to have a person like that for a friend. I will say that when a person believes that oregano is a fine substitute for marjoram and leaves out the only two other herbs entirely, and reduces the olive oil (because, "Wow! That's a lot of olive oil!), and eliminates the garlic because she doesn't like garlic breath....

 

I'm sorry. Where was I?

[Seasider]

 

 

Oh, I have a friend like that! It doesn't really bother me, as she'll cheerfully admit she's a terrible cook, but it is sometimes difficult to keep my mouth shut and not say, "Nooo! That is not my recipe! You cannot make baklava with Pillsbury pie crust, corn syrup, and crushed peanuts" [and I wish...I truly wish...I had invented that for dramatic purposes, but no...she actually tried to give me credit for that recipe].

 

 

 

Mmmmm...now that's an interesting baklava!

 

Here's a little poem I have jotted down in one of my cookbooks:

 

I didn't have potatoes

So I substituted rice.

I didn't have paprika

So I used another spice.

 

I didn't have tomato sauce

I used tomato paste.

A whole can, not half a can;

I don't believe in waste.

 

A friend gave me the recipe.

She said you couldn't beat it.

There must be something wrong with her.

I couldn't even eat it!

 

(by Marilou Bridges)

[Alte Veste Academy]

My problem is I don't have any "recipes." Which provokes a sense of disbelief among those who ask for my recipies, which happens somewhat frequently. Since I cook by taste using ingredients that are fresh and available (in addition to what is in my pantry) the best I can offer is an explaination of the techniques and ingredients I use to the best of my ability. But nothing is written down.

But if someone is interested in how something is made, I share. I don't believe in keeping food preparation secrets.

Bill

 

 

I make many meals this way. Funnily enough, I find that the same things seem to come into season at the same time, year after year after year. :D Eventually, I find that our favorite improvised meals become recipes.

 

My DH and kids would be sorely disappointed if I did not replicate favorites. They love to try new things, as I do, but they take a great deal of comfort from the familiar tastes of Mom's recipes. No one wants improvised chicken soup here when they have a cold. :tongue_smilie: They want my chicken soup. When DH is away, he misses his favorite foods second only to missing all of us. After the kids and pets, my recipe box would be the next thing I would grab in a fire. The memories of of eating Grandma's potato salad in her kitchen, the chimichurri I first made the year we were married, DH's ridiculously delicious BBQ rub... My life just wouldn't be the same without recipes.

[Belacqua]

Mmmmm...now that's an interesting baklava!

 

 

Thing is, it tasted pretty good. Not even remotely related the original recipe, but still not half bad.

[KungFuPanda]

 

 

Thing is, it tasted pretty good. Not even remotely related the original recipe, but still not half bad.

 

 

She can call it Mocklava!

[gardenmom5]

Oh, I have a friend like that! It doesn't really bother me, as she'll cheerfully admit she's a terrible cook, but it is sometimes difficult to keep my mouth shut and not say, "Nooo! That is not my recipe! You cannot make baklava with Pillsbury pie crust, corn syrup, and crushed peanuts" [and I wish...I truly wish...I had invented that for dramatic purposes, but no...she actually tried to give me credit for that recipe].

 

I gave someone my baklava recipe from the greek festival cookbook. (I tweaked it a tiny bit.) she was in a hurry so she used pam instead of brushing the sheets of phyllo with butter. cringe-worth. I've no idea how it tasted.

Mmmmm...now that's an interesting baklava!

 

Here's a little poem I have jotted down in one of my cookbooks:

 

I didn't have potatoes

So I substituted rice.

I didn't have paprika

So I used another spice.

 

I didn't have tomato sauce

I used tomato paste.

A whole can, not half a can;

I don't believe in waste.

 

A friend gave me the recipe.

She said you couldn't beat it.

There must be something wrong with her.

I couldn't even eat it!

 

(by Marilou Bridges)

 

my mil wanted to make spaghetti. she used a lasagna spice packet. the dog wouldn't eat it.

[Lilaclady]

I think it's nice to share recipes. I don't care if someone else makes a dish and brings it to the family event. It's just a dish. It's the event and the people or family being together that makes it special.

[Belacqua]

She can call it Mocklava!

 

Will you marry me?

[KungFuPanda]

 

 

Will you marry me?

 

I'm taken, but we can sneak around if we're careful not to get caught.

[Spy Car]

 

 

I make many meals this way. Funnily enough, I find that the same things seem to come into season at the same time, year after year after year. :D Eventually, I find that our favorite improvised meals become recipes.

 

My DH and kids would be sorely disappointed if I did not replicate favorites. They love to try new things, as I do, but they take a great deal of comfort from the familiar tastes of Mom's recipes. No one wants improvised chicken soup here when they have a cold. :tongue_smilie: They want my chicken soup. When DH is away, he misses his favorite foods second only to missing all of us. After the kids and pets, my recipe box would be the next thing I would grab in a fire. The memories of of eating Grandma's potato salad in her kitchen, the chimichurri I first made the year we were married, DH's ridiculously delicious BBQ rub... My life just wouldn't be the same without recipes.

 

 

My family has gotten used to the idea that the only constant here is change.

 

The latest adventure, after discovering both an outstanding Filipino supermarket (with a fantastic fresh fish section) and a very strange hole-in-the wall Nigerian market run a grumpy woman with huge painted-on eye-brows (who looks at me disapprovingly each time I show up to add new ingredients to my stockpile), is a sort of Nigerian-Pinoy fusion cuisine.

 

So I've been making "Bangus" (a Filipino soup with milkfish, green tamarind, ginger, etc) and various Adobos (meat/chicken stewed in brown sugar vinegar, soy sauce, nions, garlic, etc), a lot of different coconut based curries.

 

And then African dishes. Nigerian brown beans are really good. They have similarities to blacked peas, but are better. And organic Red Palm Oil is super interesting. And I've been serving up a lot of Cassava (aka Yuca aka Manioc) root, which I'd never prepared before.

 

The family did not like the dried ground crayfish, so I save this delicacy for myself :D

 

Bill

[zoobie]

Well, what is sad is there truly isn't a "solid" recipe. I have tweaked it soooo much it is by taste now. I know if I wrote amounts down that it wouldn't taste the same anyway if you factor in different brands and cooking techniques, etc... I suppose I am just being petty and silly! ha ha.

 

 

That would be an easier explanation to understand. "Oh, I started with a recipe I found online but now I just throw things in a pot until it tastes right to me. I use different amounts based on ingredient availability and how the tomatoes taste. I don't even know what to tell you!" <smile>

[Lisa R.]

I can understand why she was offended. Asking for a recipe is common and not a difficult thing to give out.

 

In all things, I just think if you're able and can afford to be generous, you should.

 

Sharing a yummy recipe that you treasure and worked hard on perfecting, is generous.

 

Yes, hers will taste slightly different since it sounds like your recipe doesn't have exact measurements. I'd tell her that while I gave her the recipe.

 

Really, if it worth offending a family member over this?

[Bang!Zoom!]

Prediction: This is going to get crazy. :lol:

[Mandylubug]

Prediction: This is going to get crazy. :lol:

 

 

nah! I did forward her the recipe via email stating this was the original recipe but I have tweaked it by taste. She was happy to get it. It wasn't worth offending anyone over. I do openly share other recipes, fyi. It was just this one that I was unsure I wanted to share.

[jenn-]

nah! I did forward her the recipe via email stating this was the original recipe but I have tweaked it by taste. She was happy to get it. It wasn't worth offending anyone over. I do openly share other recipes, fyi. It was just this one that I was unsure I wanted to share.

 

Does that mean you are ready to share it with the rest of us?

[Mandylubug]

ha ha, OK. I will share the original recipe before I tweaked

Pollo Fundido

2 lbs boneless skinless chicken breasts

1/2 green pepper, finely diced

1/2 large onion, finely diced

15 -20 small flour tortillas

2 cups shredded monterey jack and cheddar cheese blend, divided

Sauce

2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened

2 cups sour cream

1 (4 ounce) can diced jalapenos

1 cup half-and-half

2 garlic cloves

oil, for frying

Directions:

Boil chicken in water (or broth) until cooked through.

Let cool enough to handle, and then shred. Place in large mixing bowl.

Saute green pepper and onion in a small amount of butter or oil until pepper is tender and onion is translucent.

Add to chicken in bowl.

If you have a deep fryer, fill it up and turn it on. If not, heat up 2 inches of oil in a large fry pan over medium-high heat.

While the oil is heating, make sauce. Combine cream cheese, sour cream, jalapeños, half and half, and garlic cloves together in a blender. Blend on high speed until smooth.

Add half of the sauce mix to the chicken mixture.

Add 1/2 cup of cheese to chicken mixture, and stir to combine all together.

Place approximately 1/2 cup of chicken mixture on a tortilla and roll up "burrito style". Repeat for remaining mixture.

Fry "burritos" in oil until golden brown, turning once if frying in a fry pan.

Remove to paper towels to drain.

Preheat oven to 325°F.

Place chicken "burritos" in a large glass pan (9x13 is recommended).

Sprinkle with remaining cheese.

Place in oven for approximately 15 minutes, or until cheese is melted.