"What makes you thing you can teach your children?"

[WishboneDawn]

"Ten years of experience."

 

Okay, I've rarely had someone question my ability to teach my kids but it occurred to me a week or so that, if someone did, the above would be my only response.

 

No need to pass the bean dip.

 

No need to explain how I homeschool.

 

No need for statistics.

 

At this point I have a decade under my belt and that counts for a lot. Some young teacher could come up to me and question my lack of training and I could give her a withering stare and say the above because, "I have ten years in the trenches and how long have you been teaching, honeycakes?" Ten years of learning and adapting and researching and I don't need to justify or explain to any random stranger. I do not even need to pass the bean dip because it's delicious and I earned the right, over ten years, to keep it for myself. I know what I'm doing, thank you very much.

 

If the other person can't recognize that ten years of experience in a certain field means that yeah, a person probably knows what they're doing, it is not my problem.

 

I don't know if this shift came with the ten years or because I'm almost forty and I'm just getting ornery.

[Tita Gidge]

Ornery can be good B)

 

Even better is finding that place where we're happy and secure in our decisions -- where we no longer feel a need to justify or defend our choices, but simply to own them quite comfortably in the face of any reaction.

 

Welcome to that place, Wishbown Dawn! We're glad you're here.

[Tita Gidge]

double post.

 

sometimes I get trigger happy.

[WishboneDawn]

I've been in the bean dip stage forever. :)

 

It did make me wonder though, am I the only one who wasn't properly valuing the years of experience I had?

[PeterPan]

Wow, now if I talked to *myself* so confidently about my *own* inner doubts about my ability to do xyz with regards to homeschooling, I'd be a better woman! :lol:

 

Ah, now I know what the problem is. I've only been doing it 9 years, not 10. So NEXT year I'm gonna have all the doubts and worries gone. So glad to know that's coming, cuz BOY do I need it! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

[WishboneDawn]

Oh, I still have my doubts! But I guess I realize that I had doubts 2, 5, 10 hears ago and yet things are still working pretty well. I know I'll have doubts in the future too but I've BTDT at this point.

[Tita Gidge]

I've been in the bean dip stage forever. :)

 

It did make me wonder though, am I the only one who wasn't properly valuing the years of experience I had?

 

You're definitely not the Lone Ranger!

 

Sometimes those years slip by before we realize just how experienced we are - whether it's schooling, parenting, or anything else. Before long, it's like Hey! I'm totally a veteran now! LOL and it's amazing the security and comfort that brings. Not only have we all survived, but we're actually doing pretty okay!

 

Or at least that's how the convo goes in MY head.

[Dory]

I envy your experience. Eventually I'll be there too, but that doesn't help me this year :tongue_smilie: .

[HS Mom in NC]

"Millions of people do it every day and have been doing it for decades." I've been at it for 13 years myself.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The more confidence I've gained, the less I've had people ask me those bean dip questions. And if they do, I just laugh.

[Oakblossoms]

I am cocky :p

 

[ElizabethB]

I have only 6 years experience, but 19 years experience tutoring phonics. I tell people only half jokingly that I should have practiced on other people's children for math, too. (I actually tutored college and high school students in Algebra and Trig, it's the lower elementary math that got me, reading Liping Ma and switching to Singapore Math helped me to be able to teach things in ways that true learning was occurring, not just "ours is not to reason why, just invert and multiply.")

 

Now that I have elementary math figured out, I have an elementary math student who doesn't need much help, he can usually just look at the book and get it. I could use or say whatever to him math wise and it would work, LOL.

[Jean in Newcastle]

BTW - I got those questions when I was first starting out. . . it stopped. . . and then we started high school and I got "What makes you think you can teach your child High School?" I'm a couple of years into that, so I don't get that much any more. That, and I've figured out the magic words with high school. All I have to do is to casually mention that I teach my son Latin and I get "Oooooh. Latin!" And they drop the subject.

[ChicoryChick]

I have never been asked that question in my 10 years worth of experience. (Wow, can't believe itzls been that long and we are counting Kindergarten, right?)

 

My knee jerk response to you title was "What makes you think I can't?" :D

[MusicMama]

"Because I'm their mother. It's my right, responsibility and privilege."

[8filltheheart]

It helps to be 99% ornery and opinionated when other people try to interfer with how you raise your children. ;)

 

If I was not someone who had the confidence and experience and proved outcomes that we have, my response would be more along the lines of---

 

"what makes you think that a classroom teacher dealing with classroom full of a wide spectrum of abilities and discipline issues hampered by state regulations and testing requirements could possibly be a better teacher than family focused strictly on the individual abilities and can tailor every assignment to ensure the highest level of educational value for the individual child? Isn't the continuous discourse in this country about the dismal failures of public education and what needs to be done to improve education in order for our students to be competitive in the global economy? Obviously, public education does not have all the answers or the best teachers and teaching methods or our schools would be exemplary across the country and the ideal model for the rest of the world......which they aren't considering how the US's educational system ranks (based on 2010 info)

The three-yearly OECD Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) report, which compares the knowledge and skills of 15-year-olds in 70 countries around the world, ranked the United States 14th out of 34 OECD countries for reading skills, 17th for science and a below-average 25th for mathematics.

Citing concerns over the country's education performance compared to other nations, and the long-term impact of the shortcomings on the future economic viability of the country, the Obama Administration has pushed for comprehensive reforms during the president's time in office.

 

I have higher educational expectations for my children. " :)

 

Like I said......I have no problem being opinionated. ;)

 

ETA: BTW, congratulations Wishbone Dawn on feeling good about yourself and your ability to teach your children!!! :hurray: (If I am not mistaken, I think my above reply is not relevant to you at all.....You are Canadian, correct? But, most moms on this forum shouldn't feel intimidated by the public educational system.)

[merry gardens]

It'll be ten years this fall! :hurray:

Maybe someday soon I will stop asking myself this question! :tongue_smilie: I'm harder on myself than almost any stranger would be.

[myfunnybunch]

"What makes YOU think I can't?"

[SilverMoon]

"What makes YOU think I can't?"

 

That's my answer, though I put emphasis on can't instead of you.

 

Ornery and opinionated? Yeah, pretty much. :001_smile:

[Job384]

We're new, so I can't mention a decade of experience. I just laugh.

[PachiSusan]

I am getting it less and less as I am showing with actions and my daughter's intelligence and social skills that we indeed are doing well.

 

Well, except for Math. We suck as a team with Math and I am seriously discerning a Math program like Sylvan or Kumon where they will teach her.

[LucyStoner]

The proof is in the pudding.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The proof is in the pudding.

 

Is that like saying "the file is in the cake"? :leaving:

[Hunter]

When it came to my younger son, and now with my students, there often is no one else available but me. So I dig in, do what I can, and rest with that. Back with my younger son I stressed SO much trying to make myself into "what he deserved" and that did neither of us any favors.

 

Now I know I'm just ONE person in the lives of my students, and I didn't create the situation they live in. It's not my job to "fix" them. It is my job to MODEL healthy practices, and for each study period triage, bite off a chunk to cover, and CALMLY cover that.

 

I don't DEFEND what I do anymore. Every once in awhile I get into educational talk with another tutor who tutors the same group. We disagree, but I tell her to do her thing and to let me do mine. The fact that we have opposite philosophies is a good thing for this group of students. It gives them choices and allows us to dig in our heels and do what we each do best.

 

The second someone more qualified enters the picture, I'm happy to let them take over. When I know of better options for my students I refer them there. I push them there when they are not taking advantage of those other options, but keep them if they refuse to switch. Sometimes tutoring is as much about a safe relationship as it is about educational quality. I guess I'm really really really safe to some of them.

 

In ALL areas of my life I do very little defending myself now. I just chant a set of human rights I was taught.

 

I have the right to be "wrong" and do it anyway. I have the right not to defend my actions. I have the right to change my mind.

 

And then I walk away.

 

Life is just too short to spend it defending myself and worrying about what others think. What they think is their problem and not mine. I choose not to bring their thoughts, worries, misinformation, and idiosyncrasies into my CROWDED and crazy life. It's full.

[Hunter]

The proof is in the pudding.

 

The more I accomplished with my younger son, the more people questioned my qualifications. It just built and built and built. The better he did, the more they insisted he needed someone better, despite not knowing of someone willing/able to teach him. Sigh!

[Luanne]

My mother was one of the ones who was a little bit difficult when I first started homeschooling my daughter when she was 11, but now that she has seen how my daughter (age 24) turned out, she is all for homeschooling She has also seen how other people's children who went to public school turned out and definitely thinks public school is NOT the way to go.

[Erin]

I have never gotten that question.

 

Instead I get, "Well, at least you're actually a teacher..."

And my reply is that yeah, and the only thing that separates me from a non-certified homeschool teacher is that I don't have my ability questioned. The results, though, are the same.

[Mandy in TN]

I don't know if this shift came with the ten years or because I'm almost forty and I'm just getting ornery.

 

Yeah, 40 is liberating. lol

Mandy

[Tarreymere]

:" Frankly, dear, it was far more difficult to potty train the little darlings".

[mamamindy]

Love this!

 

We're new. We have no experience. I am mortified by the confrontation and criticism that comes with being a homeschooling mom in my community. (Homeschooling is pretty uncommon here.) I mean, I really am trying to build confidence and motivation daily at this point. Unfortunately (?), I am not an opinionated or ornery person... but DH is! So that helps!! :tongue_smilie:

 

Thankfully I only deal with a bit of skepticism from my PS K Teacher MIL... And my neighbor says, "Wow, you must be really smart to homeschool your children!" At first I thought, Oh no! Do I need to be really smart to teach my children?? Then I reminded myself, I am smart. And we're still just on first grade material. I did well in 1st grade, so we're good. ;) (Doesn't really matter that I winded up with an undergrad in Biology - it's 1st grade material that matters now.)

[Embassy]

Yesterday, I ran into this on Facebook. A friend announced that he and his wife were homeschooling and they were confronted with people who wondered how they could teach without a teacher's license or a degree. I got into a discussion with one of the guys. He tried to prove that homeschooled students were poorer performers on the SAT because he compared 1999 data for homeschooled students and 2012 data for the average performance of all students. Of course his results showed that homeschooled students did poorer because the 1999 test was out of 1600 when the 2012 test was out of 2400! :svengo:

[Lucy]

Yesterday, I ran into this on Facebook. A friend announced that he and his wife were homeschooling and they were confronted with people who wondered how they could teach without a teacher's license or a degree. I got into a discussion with one of the guys. He tried to prove that homeschooled students were poorer performers on the SAT because he compared 1999 data for homeschooled students and 2012 data for the average performance of all students. Of course his results showed that homeschooled students did poorer because the 1999 test was out of 1600 when the 2012 test was out of 2400! :svengo:

 

 

Apparently his education didn't include how to do proper research or statistics! :)

[PachiSusan]

I had a "discussion" happen yesterday and I felt my "dander" get up, but I totally controlled it. I was proud of myself. See if you recognize this conversation:

 

My SIL: This is my SIL Susan - she home schools.

 

Mom 1 who works at the school with my SIL: Is she your only one?

 

Me: Yes, we married late.

 

Mom 1: Oh, I would TOTALLY home school if I had one girl. I have two boys and you just can't contain boys at home. Besides, I'm not good in math. I wouldn't be able to teach them.

 

Me: It's a choice you make and you make it work if you're called to it. If we don't know a subject well, you get a tutor or you learn it for yourself before you teach them. That's not really a problem if you're called to home school.

 

Mom 1: Oh, for my one son it would be great - but my other son HAS to have socialization and you just can't get that at home.

 

ARG!!! Collect myself.

 

Me: Well, that's sort of a misconception. Do you really think that kids would be social idiots if they didn't have socialization at school? You just saw how well my daughter is socializing with you, her cousins, her Aunt, and I...

 

Mom 1: Oh, I know - but that's because she is a girl. Boys need their friends. (Face palm here )

 

Me: It's not about being a boy or a girl, it's about what opportunities kids are given to be with other people. Honestly, I think when you talk about socialization, people really are talking about friends right?

 

Mom 1 Right

 

Me: So really, socialization at school consists of learning how to navigate the school environment. Raising your hand to talk, lining up, sitting still in the desk, being quiet in class, asking to go to the bathroom, following the rules. It's not about finding friends to socialize with, right? It's just a place where age specific kids can MEET kids. They have little actual time to do so.

 

Mom 1: You have a point there - I never thought of it that way. I still couldn't home school both my boys, but if I had one, I'd totally do it. I hate the school system. That's why I quit this year...common core and agenda 21...you know about those, right?

 

Me; Yes.

 

Then we went on talking about CCS and Agenda 21 and TERC Math, and standardized testing, and all that fun stuff.

 

When she left, SIL says, "Wow - you really defend yourself well without getting mad!!"

 

Me: I was mad. I have learned to squelch it. LOL

[Audrey]

When I was a new homeschooler -- even before we finalized the decision and had only done homeschool pre-school -- I was 'questioned' by a teacher at the town school. I really did let her have with both Southern-girl-on-a-rampage barrels. I've told this story before here, so I won't reiterate, but since then... it has been rare for anyone to question it, certainly not the original moron. She still looks like she's going to cry whenever she sees me. :confused1:

 

I don't feel like I need to defend my choice to homeschool anymore, though. On the occasion when someone will ask why feel qualified to homeschool my kid, it doesn't raise my hackles because the proof is in my son's successes so far. I've been asked recently how I think I'm going to manage homeschooling high school. My reply is that I will manage it just as I do anything else in my life -- one day at a time, one subject at a time. Really and truly, that approach, backed by genuine commitment from myself, my dh AND our son, is what keeps us all qualified to homeschool.

[msjones]

I think that some people really believe there is training required that can only be found at teacher-training schools -- kind of like medical school, or law school.

 

They don't realize how many resources are available to support homeschooling parents. I do try to point that out.

 

I often hear the "at least you're a real teacher" line.

 

I am always quick to emphasize that most of my friends who have homeschooled successfully are not certificated teachers.

[Runningmom80]

Do people really say things like that? We've only been doing this two years, but we are mostly met with positive remarks, even those who I can tell think we are crazy aren't rude. I can't imagine someone saying that to me, I'd probably tell them to shove it. ;)

[PachiSusan]

Do people really say things like that? We've only been doing this two years, but we are mostly met with positive remarks, even those who I can tell think we are crazy aren't rude. I can't imagine someone saying that to me, I'd probably tell them to shove it. ;)

 

Oh gosh yes!! I was getting my hair done by my SIL's friend who didn't even know me, and she took the opportunity with me stuck in the chair to tell me how kids "NEED" to be in school and that it wouldn't kill my daughter to be in the public school system here since it's soooo good. Um - Nevada is near the BOTTOM.

 

I just said, "Thank you for your opinion." LOL

[Tarreymere]

Do people really say things like that? We've only been doing this two years, but we are mostly met with positive remarks, even those who I can tell think we are crazy aren't rude. I can't imagine someone saying that to me, I'd probably tell them to shove it. ;)

 

We have those people around here, but the funniest one I've come across is the secretary in the district office where I have to turn in our portfolios and affidavits. She doesn't say anything, but she stares at us the whole time (every time) like the way a bank teller would stare at group of folks who walked in wearing ski masks and toting weapons. It's hilarious. I totally need to video tape her. :laugh:

[PachiSusan]

 

We have those people around here, but the funniest one I've come across is the secretary in the district office where I have to turn in our portfolios and affidavits. She doesn't say anything, but she stares at us the whole time (every time) like the way a bank teller would stare at group of folks who walked in wearing ski masks and toting weapons. It's hilarious. I totally need to video tape her. :laugh:

 

LOL :lol:

[Erin]

Personally, I don't look at it as needing to defend my choice, but rather needing to educate people about what is a valid option.

[WishboneDawn]

Personally, I don't look at it as needing to defend my choice, but rather needing to educate people about what is a valid option.

 

I don't even care to educate most of the time. Well, if it's honest curiousity, yes. But the challenges? I don't get those much IRL but if someone knows squat about homeschooling and yet chooses to challenge a ten year veteran...? There ain't no winning the battle with stupid.

[Erin]

I don't care whether someone is being challenging or is honestly curious.

If someone brings it up, I always treat it with the assumption that they genuinely want to know. :) (Which can be annoying for the person who was trying to be snarky. lol)

[Danielle1746]

When I was a new homeschooler -- even before we finalized the decision and had only done homeschool pre-school -- I was 'questioned' by a teacher at the town school. I really did let her have with both Southern-girl-on-a-rampage barrels. I've told this story before here, so I won't reiterate, but since then... it has been rare for anyone to question it, certainly not the original moron. She still looks like she's going to cry whenever she sees me. :confused1:

 

 

I don't think I've seen it. If you have time(or a link), I'd love to hear it! It sounds entertaining. lol

[PachiSusan]

I don't care whether someone is being challenging or is honestly curious.

If someone brings it up, I always treat it with the assumption that they genuinely want to know. :) (Which can be annoying for the person who was trying to be snarky. lol)

 

That's great advice on how to handle the Snark Brigade here too... :lol: