I'm tired of "doing school"!

[Sue G in PA]

I'm tired of "doing school". I want to homeschool. I'm tired of doing 5 or 7 or however many distinct subjects every day just so we can cross them off our list. I'm tired of counting "hours" or "days" to fulfill the stupid law. I'm tired of trying to replicated a classroom in my dining room. My children are not engaged. They hate school. And they are not learning. My goal of instilling a lifelong love of learning is so far from being reached. I'm obviously doing something wrong. I'm sure they see my deflated spirit each day and wonder "if Mom hates this, why should we like it?". I try. I really try. I plan and I plan and I spend sleepless nights wondering what curriculum, what topic, what method, what "whatever" will be the fix we need to spark some sort of excitement. Can anyone relate? And if you can't relate...please tell me what you do differently to get a positive result!! Please. 8 years of homeschooling and either I haven't found my "groove" or I've lost that "lovin feeling". ;) I don't know. We are so "behind" that we will be schooling through the end of June. My high schoolers will be doing math, at least, all summer. I want this to become a "lifestyle" not a drudgery to get done each day. Make sense? I'm sick of worrying about counting credits and such. Yes, I understand that there are some things in life we must do regardless of whether or not we enjoy it. School, for some, is one of those things. But honestly one of the reasons I do this (homeschool) is so that my kids will WANT to learn. Like my 4yo who is excited about learning new things! He walks around all day sounding out words, doing math problems in his head, telling me about this new flower he found in our yard or what he learned at our co-op. He is EXCITED! How, oh how, do I rekindle that same excitement in my older children?

[Hunter]

My oldest was never excited about learning anything other than video games, art, Japanese and business. He used American School, completed the lessons, and then did what he wanted to do, which was WORK. He never called himself a "homeschooler". He used to say, "My brother is homeschooled. I use a correspondence course."

 

My younger was an excited enthusiastic homeschooler for the most part.

 

Same mom, but two very different kids. Everything isn't always YOUR fault. YOUR goals are not necessarily your children's goals. Be easier on yourself! :grouphug:

[Ellie]

I'm tired of "doing school". I want to homeschool. I'm tired of doing 5 or 7 or however many distinct subjects every day just so we can cross them off our list. I'm tired of counting "hours" or "days" to fulfill the stupid law. I'm tired of trying to replicated a classroom in my dining room. My children are not engaged. They hate school. And they are not learning. My goal of instilling a lifelong love of learning is so far from being reached. I'm obviously doing something wrong. I'm sure they see my deflated spirit each day and wonder "if Mom hates this, why should we like it?". I try. I really try. I plan and I plan and I spend sleepless nights wondering what curriculum, what topic, what method, what "whatever" will be the fix we need to spark some sort of excitement. Can anyone relate? And if you can't relate...please tell me what you do differently to get a positive result!! Please. 8 years of homeschooling and either I haven't found my "groove" or I've lost that "lovin feeling". ;) I don't know. We are so "behind" that we will be schooling through the end of June. My high schoolers will be doing math, at least, all summer. I want this to become a "lifestyle" not a drudgery to get done each day. Make sense? I'm sick of worrying about counting credits and such. Yes, I understand that there are some things in life we must do regardless of whether or not we enjoy it. School, for some, is one of those things. But honestly one of the reasons I do this (homeschool) is so that my kids will WANT to learn. Like my 4yo who is excited about learning new things! He walks around all day sounding out words, doing math problems in his head, telling me about this new flower he found in our yard or what he learned at our co-op. He is EXCITED! How, oh how, do I rekindle that same excitement in my older children?

 

 

Then don't do it.

 

Don't plan so much.

 

You can have a routine in your day without planning school.

 

Let the rest of it go.

[hsmom2011]

n/m

[tammieb]

This EXACT conversation went through my head this morning!!!!

 

I can't say this is the "fix" you're looking for, but it's where we're starting.................

 

I started with ALOT of prayer first!!! I'm tired of constantly looking to other people for their "stamp of approval" on my curriculum choices. I've held back a total commitment to the classical method for fear of my kids not being "on level" with everybody else. The Lord's been dealing with me for awhile now about doing what He wants me to do with our kids, and I'm finally to the point I'm tired of fighting what's best for my family.

 

Second, I apologized to my kids. I've started on the classical road several times only to detour, crash and BURN!!!! The times we've tried it were the most enjoyable times in our schooling. But I get scared I'm not doing it right, and I always revert back to what's "safe." I apologized to them for teasing them with the joy of learning only to take it away, and I asked for their input into what will make our day more engaging ("fun" was the word I used with them :001_smile: !)

 

Thirdly, I CLEARED MY SHELVES!!!!!!!!!!! ANYTHING that's not EXACTLY what I want to use I'm TOSSING!!! I figure if I don't have my safety net to fall back onto, I won't be tempted to give in so easily!

 

My next step is the ever encompassing job of LESSON PLANS!! We're going to stick with the basics for now --- math, science, grammar, and history. They both do Saxon Math (DIVE disks) and LOVE it!! They're both in R&S Grammar right now. DD (13) enjoys it --- DS (9) not so much!! I'm going to wing my way through with the worksheets and oral drills and not do so much of the written drills until I can order the Saxon Grammar. DS does Apologia science; DD is in BJU Life Science. That's working, so no changes except more interaction. I'm going to combine them both into SOTW Volume 2 (Middle Ages) and have FUN!!!!!!!! They LOVE the projects and extra reading! I'm the one who holds them back for lack of time from all the "extra" stuff I try to load on them!

 

Once we get into a "groove" with the core subects, I want to re-introduce Rosetta Stone Spanish and the How Great Thou Art art program one to two days per week.

 

So........... don't know how well it'll work, but it's what the Lord's laid on my heart so we're gonna run with it!

 

If I have one piece of advice --- share your heart with your kids! They're the ones we're teaching. There is a fine line of "me the teacher, you the student" in our homeschool environments, but why not get their input. I don't know about you, but sometimes I get these ideas that I think are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome, but they do NOTHING for them! What's the point of putting all of our time and energy into something that's not a fit for them.

 

Good luck!!!

[Molly]

Do you show your joy in learning alongside them? I find one of the greatest motivations for my blossoms is when I get excited about something. Learning is such a joy and I share my joy when learning new things from the Bible, from teachings or just from the children's books. I pray when one of the blossoms are in a mood that could frustrate angels. I pray when I am frustrating the blossoms. Some days I just let it be and pick up the next day. Some days I use it as a training of character. I am learning more and more to rely on God's plan for the day. When I am at peace, the whole thing is so much easier.

 

I heard something the other day, that we can't change others attitudes and habits, but when we look at changing ourselves other things change. And just one other thing I had a problem with was worrying about what other people thought, about our choice to home educate, about how much my children were learning, and about my children's socialisation. I let it go, and the freedom from that is immense.

[happypamama]

I would take a good look at what you are doing (or what you are scheduling, anyway) and see if it all has value. Is there anything you're doing just because you think you should, but that isn't returning a big dividend? If so, maybe cut it out for a while. In planning for next year, I decided to take a break from any sort of formal grammar/spelling, to see if we could meet the same needs by addressing them in a more organic, as-needed way, ie with their writing, cutting out any busywork with worksheets and workbooks. You might see if there are areas in your plans where you could do the same.

 

I might also, at least for a while, pick a couple of really important subjects, and maybe one that each child really enjoys, and do just those for a while. I would also really try to take a break in the summer; we take from the end of May to the end of June, about five or six weeks, off completely (except for reading), and I find that looking forward to that break and actually having it rejuvenates me for the next year, and my enthusiasm helps to carry over to the kids.

[Rosie_0801]

What do you want to do?

 

What do your olders want to do?

 

How much time do they spend teaching the littles?

[lewelma]

Have you asked your kids what *they* want to learn? If they don't know, then start a "passion finding" exercise for 3 months. Have them do their math first thing in the morning, then let them read all day -- a broad combination of literature, science, and history. Once a week ask for a paper discussing something they have read. At the end of 3 months, ask them again what they want to learn. Use this knowledge to develop a new plan.

 

Ruth in NZ

[Momof3littles]

Just tossing out some ideas:

Can you block schedule loop schedule or otherwise change your scheduling? One day per week we do a very, very small co-op with 2 other families. In it, we cover a lot of the things I'd like to get around to but struggle to fit into our normal day to day (for ex: art history). Can you find ways to work in things besides the core, even if just one day per week? Or can you do something like focus on a different subject but not worry about doing it every day all year long?

 

I have a few curricula I really love, and I feel the time spent is really worthwhile. For us, that includes things like MCT materials, for example. I know we can never go wrong with extensive read aloud time, talking about vocab, figures of speech, etc. We try to do tea time at least once a week with poetry or some fun read aloud. A small snack, a cup of tea (switching to iced now :) ), and everyone is in a better mood.

 

This is our 4th year, and I am finding that focusing on teaching myself how to teach is very helpful. Certain things I read, like Bravewriter's TWJ or The Private Eye get my gears going about how I can work those skills into everything we do. I'm finding that *that* brings me more enthusiasm as a HS mom than slogging through pre-designed curricula sometimes. But, I still like certain things to be "open and go" too. I try to really, really cut out the superfluous stuff and focus on rich and deep and meaningful.

 

I probably live in the same state, and I don't allow the rules to create a major burden for us. Yes, I test when needed, pull together a port, etc. but I refuse to stress over counting days, etc. I teach fire safety every year ;) I document what needs to be documented but don't let it impact my life day to day.

 

Do your older kids have anything they are really passionate about? Can you set them up to have time to explore those things more in depth? We are not USers, but I started off kind of unschooly with my eldest. And you know, it really is quite a good fit for him. He's the kind of kid who always wants to be reading, working on projects, building something, etc. This coming year I'm going to try to work a day in maybe once every 2 weeks for him to have the whole day to explore his own interests. I will expect him to be doing something, but he can self-direct on those days. I know for a fact this works well for him, and I realized recently I really need to prioritize some time for that exploration.

 

eta: how is your self-care? I know when my enthusiasm wanes, it often correlates with me feeling maxed out in other ways. Prioritizing some time for myself, getting out on my own in the evenings, re-engaging in some activities I enjoy, making sure I get my own quiet time, etc. renews my energy in ways that astound me. I'm an introvert, and it is really tough to be surrounded by 3 kids and their intense needs all. day. long. without taking care of myself.

[Aspasia]

I have almost no experience with homeschooling, and certainly not as much as the OP, but I wonder if your family might benefit from project-based homeschooling, at least for a little while. I have been reading Lori Pickert's book, and it seems like it could be a good fit. It takes the pressure off of you for too much planning--you just have to facilitate. Plus, it's not you making your kids "do school". They get to decide what they learn, so maybe they'll take more ownership for loving what they're learning. I think you could benefit from not having to "drive" all the learning, at least for awhile. And your kids are old enough to drive it themselves, especially in content subjects.

[Embassy]

One thing I've discovered is that I needed to discover how I enjoy teaching. Some methods or curriculum are quite boring to me and I wouldn't be able to muster any enthusiasm using them at all. What do you do enjoy doing with your kids? Do what you enjoy the most and work learning into that. Sure, there will be some parts of school that may seem more like work, but I'd spend the bulk of your time or at least a chunk of your time everyday spent learning with your kids in a way that you enjoy. I wouldn't look to one specific method or curriculum to be the answer. The answer, I think, will be found in how you enjoy interacting with your kids.

[Pen]

I am lucky to be in a state where we do not have to count days or hours--though since we school year round, I guess that would not be a problem. When my son was in public B&M school they made the parents fill in a home reading log (at that point it was read alouds), and it turned what had been very pleasurable for both of us into drudgery for me. I hated the forms and logs to fill and keeping track of the reading time. Reminds me of Tom Sawyer and whitewashing the fence. It helps to remind myself with something that feels burdensome, that one gets to do this, with homeschooling it is something I have the time to be able to do, and am allowed to do--or even if something seems really yucky, that at least I am alive to be able to do it. And since we did go to B&M, I can always compare that and feel very glad to be doing the homeschooling.

 

I love year round homeschool. It keeps the learning going, and takes the pressure off, and we do not have a difficult transition back in again after a long break. We can take breaks when we need them, like if we were feeling like you describe it would be time for a break. Since his best friend also homeschools year round, that helps.

 

I think that having to do what you are describing would make it way harder, but I think I would try to fit what we do do into some sort of on paper format that would fit what was required...rather than trying to start with the legal requirement and then be miserable trying to fit it. And I don't try to replicate a classroom at home. I did try to do "school at home" the first year, and we did not like it, and not much learning took place, so now we do learning wherever we are (which is mostly home), and that is better. Not always a bed of roses, mind you, but infinitely better.

 

Right now, I am feeling pretty satisfied, and I think ds is too.

 

We finished up all subjects except math for the year as to what needs to be covered, IMO--or by standards for his grade, at this point. So now the goal is to continue math and not lose/forget gains made in other subjects--or to be getting ahead in some. We do not do some subjects at all--like no foreign language though I would like to, but it just has not worked for us thus far. It is a state requirement for high school, but that is still to come. So, he'd like it, and I'd like it, but ... it has not worked thus far... and that is okay for now, we will keep trying.

 

I have been assigning 7 pages math per day (sounds like a lot, but can be done in about half an hour if he wants to) plus one hour of something else--whatever he wants to learn about right now--or 14 pages math, which is usually his choice since that usually takes only one hour total. He grumbles sometimes about this. It is the one area where he really still just has to do it. And unschooling would not work since he would not do his math if it were left up to him. He does, though, get to do it wherever he wants within reason. Up a tree is fine if he can do it safely there. He also gets to decide whether he will do it in one go, or with breaks. I think having a sense of control helps.

 

We are doing science as part of everyday life by learning about nutrition, health, and so on, as well as behavior modification and conditioning via dog training with a new puppy (if it were rats or pigeons we were teaching, instead of a dog, it would count as a lab science for college, and I am sure he is learning more with the dog). We were considering raising rabbits, but after learning about rabbits decided against that, but that too was learning that I'd call science if needed. We have been learning about bees, and are on year 2 of raising orchard bees. We are considering getting chickens.

 

He took the dog on a walk and discovered fish in the creek (we live where there are creeks). So we tried to learn about the fish--not too successfully since I only think they were juvenile trout, but have not been able to confirm it, but trying to figure it out was fun...and he was excited by his find. As excited as a 4 year old still gets about learning. It was not so much a matter of rekindling that as allowing it by allowing him the time to go explore. Then we speculated about what became of the fish since they were gone the next day.

 

I have been interested in stress and health and watched the DVD of Stress: Portrait of a Killer, and he watched some too. (And I recommend it to you.)

 

All the above several paragraphs-- We do not call this science. We call this life. If I had to fill in paperwork though, I would call it science.

 

My ds reads on his own whatever he wants, usually about 3 hours daily. He reads every day--that is not "school" for us, but I would count it, if law required (though it would make it more onerous), and it would fit literature and social studies both. He and some friends are making a movie which is their own creation--acting, writing, directing, camera work....just with the video part of a home digital camera and a computer to edit it on. I could call that school if I had to for paperwork--I'd fit it to whatever categories it seemed to fit, but it is part of play for them.

 

We are working on various lifeskills--cooking, gardening, and so on. The local school also has a garden that the children work in and has cooking class at high school level which it calls "culinary arts," so if they can, so could I, though, again, thankfully, it is not required.

 

I had a main goal for this last year which was to get to grade level, or at least close in writing. He wrote a research paper, several essays, and a bunch of poetry, some pretty good, so I can feel good about that. I guess each year has had a main focus of some sort, and so filling that has allowed a sense of success, rather than so much drudgery perhaps. ????? I've also allowed curriculum changes to mix things up a bit and not get bored. Some things are a lot of fun for a while, and then if too much or too long they get boring, and we do not need to go on to the boring stage with most areas (an example for us is Latin word roots which are very interesting in small doses, and tedious in large doses). Even with math, I am alternating review of basic math and prealgebra work, and using a couple of different books deliberately so that it does not get too boring. When possible, like in history where my own education was not that great, I have been enjoying learning too.

 

We also learn a lot via audio / visual methods. This started due to needs because of dyslexia, but it has continued because it works for us. this has included movies, audio books, Great Courses, youTube finds. We also have gotten some classical music via not only CDs but a classical station that we get on radio and others can get streaming via computer. It has interesting educational shows sometimes that I have scheduled in from time to time, and we have done a lot of art history via films and computer visits to far away galleries. It is not the same as being able to go to an excellent museum in person, but we cannot do that, so we do what we can.

 

But I think the biggest thing for me was to focus on "learning" rather than on "schooling". Schooling feels like busywork and drudgery and crossing off lists, while learning is inherently interesting and fulfilling. It also allows me to ask, is this working? Is he learning? (and am I?)--or are we just turning pages and making marks on them?

[Sue G in PA]

There is a lot of "life" that goes on around here. Learning through living I guess. We have rabbits. We didn't plan to raise rabbits, but we adopted a brother and sister pair that I didn't separate in time. Oops. So now we have LOTS of rabbits. ;) My kids learned a LOT about rabbits and raising them from kit to now (over 3 mos. old). And we do the obvious...cooking together, reading together, playing games, gardening now, etc. But it is the schoolish type stuff that is really grating on me. We do math every day. Must do it every day. My children are terrible spellers, except for dd16 and ds13 (my academics...my internally motivated children). This is an area we need to focus on. Ds10 is just now starting to "get" reading. Another area of focus. All struggle with writing. More to focus on. I don't know. I think as a PP said, I'm just feeling defeated personally and so it all just looks that much worse. :( We belong to a co-op...if not for that...I think our year would have been wasted. It has kept the kids and ME accountable. I'm so grateful our co-op is an academic co-op and not "fluff". Sigh. I'm dreading tomorrow and having to "rally the troops" and put on that happy face only to be met with frowns and bad attitudes. Maybe we should just do something fun. Math, spelling, and then fun. I don't know. Thanks for all your comments. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've found for my highschooler that I do need to get those subjects and credits done. The youngers I can be more flexible with.

[Molly]

Can I say that spelling truly is not the be all of life? Seriously my DH and his father are the worst spellers I know, yet one is a successful business owner, the other is well employed (not an academic position, but invaluable to his employer) and could easily be a business owner. Relax, enjoy your children while they are still children. Yes, do get them to do spelling but neither spelling or math are worth worrying about. The more you worry, the more stress you will impart to the blossoms. Celebrate the small successes in the areas of struggle, make the successes the focus, not the defeats ( I know, easier said than done).

 

Spend some time building yourself up. Focus on the great stuff you have achieved over the years, focus on the joy in your home, focus on the fact that your children are amazing and a miracle. Relax, enjoy your family, they will be gone before you know it.

[Rosie_0801]

I remember an exercise we did in a uni class where the teacher showed us one of those books that have no words, possibly "A City through Time" or something. He then picked a page and had us write for five minutes and share what we'd written. That's something you could all do as a family. Everyone would get better with practice and it's hard to grumble over 5 minutes.

[LindaOz]

There is a lot of "life" that goes on around here. Learning through living I guess. We have rabbits. We didn't plan to raise rabbits, but we adopted a brother and sister pair that I didn't separate in time. Oops. So now we have LOTS of rabbits. ;) My kids learned a LOT about rabbits and raising them from kit to now (over 3 mos. old). And we do the obvious...cooking together, reading together, playing games, gardening now, etc. But it is the schoolish type stuff that is really grating on me. We do math every day. Must do it every day. My children are terrible spellers, except for dd16 and ds13 (my academics...my internally motivated children). This is an area we need to focus on. Ds10 is just now starting to "get" reading. Another area of focus. All struggle with writing. More to focus on. I don't know. I think as a PP said, I'm just feeling defeated personally and so it all just looks that much worse. :( We belong to a co-op...if not for that...I think our year would have been wasted. It has kept the kids and ME accountable. I'm so grateful our co-op is an academic co-op and not "fluff". Sigh. I'm dreading tomorrow and having to "rally the troops" and put on that happy face only to be met with frowns and bad attitudes. Maybe we should just do something fun. Math, spelling, and then fun. I don't know. Thanks for all your comments. :)

 

 

Maybe start with the fun. Then the math and spelling.

 

We sometimes start our day with a game of 'super goal' (don't ask, it's a game I created). We have breakfast, Bible, memory etc at the table, quick cleanup and jobs, then off we go for a good ol' competitive ball game. The kids love it, it gets everyone going for the day, and then we troop in and settle down to math. Other time we have a group music time. Or you could just play some sort of indoor game as a family. Maybe google 'indoor family games'. These things would take the kids by surprise on Monday morning and set a new tone for the day.

 

Then maybe tell them that at ...(name a time)....you are all going to do some art, so they should get as much bookwork done between now and then as they can. Maybe even give out prizes for those that work the hardest. Mix it up a bit. Keep them guessing. Include a period of bookwork but let the kids know that at a certain time something else will be happening. Sometimes it helps everyone to know that there is only a certain amount of time in which to get something done because they can see they are working towards an ending time.

 

HTH

[shinyhappypeople]

Sue, you need to research how unschoolers manage in your state. I'm not saying that YOU should unschool (unless you want to ... and it might be worth exploring, esp. for your olders), but make note of how people manage to completely do their own thing and still comply with the (ridiculous, overbearing) home-ed laws in PA.

 

You have options.

[Momof3littles]

Yes, I agree with Shinyhappypeople. don't let the laws create that much stress in your life. You are likely doing more than you need to in order to comply with the legal requirements. Meet the requirements of the law, but do it in a way that works with the style, curricula, etc. that work for your family. I do what I need to do to be in legal compliance, but beyond that I don't let the laws run my HS or stress me out.

 

Is your district asking for things beyond the law?

[happypamama]

Yes, same here; the laws generally don't dictate what I do or don't do with my children. (Except for making sure we have some piece of paper that proves we did fire safety, eyeroll.) My evaluator is pretty laid-back, and she would be happy to help you figure out how to represent what you're doing in your portfolio. Let me know if you would like her contact info.

[alef]

My oldest is 10, so I have limited experience and I don't know how applicable it will be to your older children. So far, my kids love learning. They don't always love everything I assign, but I try to assign only the basics. They have a very short checklist of work to complete each day, once that is done I offer incentives (um, money...) for extra work they can pick from a list. Beyond that they use their free time for many educational things--I find them copying maps, information from the encyclopedia, reading, building, etc.

 

I don't want to see the spark die. Hoping we can keep it burning bright...

[Pen]

There is a lot of "life" that goes on around here. Learning through living I guess. We have rabbits. We didn't plan to raise rabbits, but we adopted a brother and sister pair that I didn't separate in time. Oops. So now we have LOTS of rabbits. ;) My kids learned a LOT about rabbits and raising them from kit to now (over 3 mos. old). And we do the obvious...cooking together, reading together, playing games, gardening now, etc. But it is the schoolish type stuff that is really grating on me. We do math every day. Must do it every day. My children are terrible spellers, except for dd16 and ds13 (my academics...my internally motivated children). This is an area we need to focus on. Ds10 is just now starting to "get" reading. Another area of focus. All struggle with writing. More to focus on. I don't know. I think as a PP said, I'm just feeling defeated personally and so it all just looks that much worse. :( We belong to a co-op...if not for that...I think our year would have been wasted. It has kept the kids and ME accountable. I'm so grateful our co-op is an academic co-op and not "fluff". Sigh. I'm dreading tomorrow and having to "rally the troops" and put on that happy face only to be met with frowns and bad attitudes. Maybe we should just do something fun. Math, spelling, and then fun. I don't know. Thanks for all your comments. :)

 

 

1) I thought you probably did do life, what I'm trying to suggest is you take the "life" you do do, and characterize it in ways that fit your state laws for most subjects. (Also, realizing that it is learning time, try to draw learning out of it.)

 

2) Focus on just one area that needs attention for each older child, plus math daily for all. Personally, I'd make that reading for the 10 year old or anyone who needs reading, and writing (composition) for anyone who already reads well. I'd not make it spelling, IMO, that's way way less important.

 

3) I'd try to get them working so that olders can work with youngers in various ways to free up your helping time... Maybe 10 year old can read to 4 year old as part of practice reading... Maybe olders can do math with youngers and help their own math skills by teaching them. (I have only one child, but had younger siblings and I know that helping them with homework, while a bit of a drag, was very helpful to my own learning.) I'd also look for materials that work well for self-propelled learning and that are at least somewhat fun, if possible.

 

4) Anyway, to me it sounds like you have basically 1 hour math per day for all, and 1 hour of intensive reading for 10 year old (and something else for others for an hour), and then, yes, the fun learning through life. And if you can have an hour of documentary film on a subject that furthers learning for those old enough during some rest time of the day that could help too.

 

5) Have you considered that there could be something like LDs making things harder for you and them? 10 is late to be getting reading, so maybe there is something making it, and maybe math too, harder for some or all of them????? That could cause a lot of frustration and burn out.

[Momof3littles]

Agree on exploring whether there could be a LD of some type. You probably have considered that already but just agreeing that I'd consider that closely. My point in saying that is that he may have a learning difference that would be there no matter where he was educated. If that is a stressor for you, it might help to pour some resources into testing, etc. for a LD if you have concerns.

[Susan in TX]

You need to accept the fact that some kids simply will never be excited about doing schoolwork. It isn't that they aren't excited about learning, they just will never like doing school. I have found that in this case the best thing to do is cover the basics as painlessly as possible and then let them do their own thing...the less "school" you do with them, the better. What has worked well for me is to use Christian Light for Math, Language Arts, and Reading. It doesn't take a lot of time. The kids can pretty much do it on their own and it doesn't require any planning on my part. That's it for "school". We may not be learning Latin, or going through a 4-year history cycle, or doing science experiments, but I know that the basics are being covered and the kids are more cooperative about doing "school" because there is less to do. And that also leaves more time for FUN.

 

Susan in TX

[Walking-Iris]

What are you doing with your 10 year old for writing and spelling and reading? Sometimes it is the curriculum. My ds is a very good and creative writer, but when we were doing Writing Strands you wouldn't have known that. It was drudgery and I am so glad I finally woke up and realized that I did not have to keep dragging us through these assignments just because we had to do writing and this is what we were doing. Also i skip anything that is just busywork in other programs.

 

Can you explain the reading problems more? What do you mean he is just getting reading? As in being able to decode, or just now beginning to read for pleasure, or comprehension is improving?

 

I agree with pp. Try to find a way to meet the state laws without it being a pain. Do you have parameters in when the days need to be counted, or can you make your own year round type of schedule?

 

Also could it be what you are using that is causing the lack of enthusiasm? I was having a pretty rotten year when my oldest was 3rd grade last year. I changed up quite a bit of our books and routine and way certain things were presented and this year has gone much smoother. He's still a grump sometimes. I honestly think that's to be expected at those ages.

 

I'm not advocating curriculum hopping, but in my case I had to research and jump in a try a few different things until I found the right approach for him. Boredom with the sameness of any one subject is a guarantee to get the I hate school grumps here.

[Pen]

Another thought: Maybe you could do a Bravewriter online class as a "break" from other subjects, but a way to get some intensive writing that takes some of the pressure off of Mom? The Nature Journal class seemed like it would be a great deal for a big family since it seems to be one price for however many children you have (or that is what I recall). Or, not such a great $$$ deal, but maybe the appropriate intro level class for whoever most needs it, and have the others go along for the ride, so to speak. While still doing math.

[Mama Geek]

I agree that spelling is not that big of a deal. Dh has a Master's in engineering and can't spell worth a lick. You know what, he has been a very successful engineer and has learned some spelling because of spell check on a computer. Please don't let this subject drag you and your kids down. You can pretty easily get through life without being a great speller.

[RootAnn]

Sue - Have you read Delight Directed Learning? It is free on Kindle right now. (I don't have a kindle, but I downloaded the "kindle on a PC" stuff from Amazon. I hate reading "books" on the computer, but it is a really quick read.) I wonder if it (and about a week-long break from everything but math .... and :svengo: maybe even math) would give you some ideas & a new lease on homeschooling.

[Sue G in PA]

Great suggestions and advice...thank you EVERYONE! We looked into LDs for ds10 and ds11 (I've written novels on these boards about ds11, lol). We had eyes tested (thought likely not vision tracking). There is a lot going on with both boys that interfere with learning. Ds10 can read...and his reading is near grade level finally (he tested at beginning of 4th grade and he is nearing end of 4th) and is getting better and better. His confidence gets in the way. (or lack of it). If he doesn't recognize a word, he will simply blurt out any word that sounds similar or has similar letters in it (make sense?) instead of using the strategies we have taught him over and over and over ad nauseam. Little by little, right? Ok, so I have issues with spelling...bad spelling is a huge pet peeve of mine. :blushing: I have issues, ok? LOL. So I want my kids to be good spellers. I'm trying to let it go.

 

As for what we use for ds10 for reading...I gave up on reading programs and now we just read...a lot. We use Rod and Staff spelling now...just started. I tried to use WRTR (Spalding method) and tanked. I got the book out, laminated the phonogram cards and intend to read it AGAIN and give it another try. Maybe, lol. I can't afford BW classes right now but wish I could.

 

Thanks again for suggestions...I'm going to read them over again, do some more praying about this and try and relax a bit. :)

[A home for their hearts]

I could have written this post. I am in the same boat with you. Teaching has become drugery to me, and honestly I hate it. I try my best to put on a happy face and get through what needs to be done, but some days it's mama that needs an attitude adjustment, not the kids. I think it's a lot harder when you have a big family. You have to make the rounds and it seems like all you do all day long is teach somebody something that they really don't want to learn. Then, in the middle of teaching you are yelling at you ds3 to stop screaming so that the child you are teaching can hear you. Sorry, just a little vent. It has gotten so bad here that I am seriously considering finishing out the year and then unschooling next year. One of my main goals for homeschooling has been to instil a love of learning. I think I have killed it. I've been too worried about them doing what they need to do for their age, making sure that they are making progress so I have something to show at our end of the year assessments. Anxiety has become my best friend, and I'm ready to break off that relationship. I think we need a brand new start, something totally different. Even if we don't unschool forever maybe it'll get us back on track. And by back on track I don't mean academically, that would be a great bonus, but my main goal is to heal the wounds created by all my anxiety. I think I need to do something this drastic to make the change.

 

Here are a couple of links that I have found helpful for deschooling. I'm not saying that is what your family needs, but maybe just taking a break from it all and trying out some of the ideas for deschooling will help.

 

What To Do Instead of School

 

What is DeSchooling?

 

:grouphug:

[A home for their hearts]

I forgot to add, maybe take a look at some right-brain learning information. The Right Side of Normal is a great website. Maybe your ds10 is a rightbrain learner. My ds12 struggled with reading until last year when he finally took off. My ds9 can barely read cvc words. I'm pretty sure they are right brain learners and their brains just aren't ready for learning to read until age 8-10.

[Sue G in PA]

I could have written this post. I am in the same boat with you. Teaching has become drugery to me, and honestly I hate it. I try my best to put on a happy face and get through what needs to be done, but some days it's mama that needs an attitude adjustment, not the kids. I think it's a lot harder when you have a big family. You have to make the rounds and it seems like all you do all day long is teach somebody something that they really don't want to learn. Then, in the middle of teaching you are yelling at you ds3 to stop screaming so that the child you are teaching can hear you. Sorry, just a little vent. It has gotten so bad here that I am seriously considering finishing out the year and then unschooling next year. One of my main goals for homeschooling has been to instil a love of learning. I think I have killed it. I've been too worried about them doing what they need to do for their age, making sure that they are making progress so I have something to show at our end of the year assessments. Anxiety has become my best friend, and I'm ready to break off that relationship. I think we need a brand new start, something totally different. Even if we don't unschool forever maybe it'll get us back on track. And by back on track I don't mean academically, that would be a great bonus, but my main goal is to heal the wounds created by all my anxiety. I think I need to do something this drastic to make the change.

 

Here are a couple of links that I have found helpful for deschooling. I'm not saying that is what your family needs, but maybe just taking a break from it all and trying out some of the ideas for deschooling will help.

 

What To Do Instead of School

 

What is DeSchooling?

 

:grouphug:

 

 

You said it much better than I did. All of this...exactly how I feel. Exactly. Thanks for the commiseration and the links. Off to check them out. :grouphug: right back. We WILL get through this!!!

[M&M]

I too have been feeling this way lately. I look at all the books that I have collleced and wonder if I will be the only one who wants to read them. I am tired everything seems to be a struggle lately.

 

I think I'll move to Australia.

[sewingmama]

I think I'll move to Australia.

 

Australian homeschooling laws are stricter then the US except if you move to Victoria. We have to follow the Australian curriculum and teach 8 subjects and report to the education department with an interview every year.....do you still want to move here :lol:

[Rosie_0801]

Australian homeschooling laws are stricter then the US except if you move to Victoria. We have to follow the Australian curriculum and teach 8 subjects and report to the education department with an interview every year.....do you still want to move here :lol:

 

 

She could move to Victoria. It's the place to be. :D

 

Unfortunately, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days happen here too. :grouphug:

[Pen]

Great suggestions and advice...thank you EVERYONE! We looked into LDs for ds10 and ds11 (I've written novels on these boards about ds11, lol). We had eyes tested (thought likely not vision tracking). There is a lot going on with both boys that interfere with learning. Ds10 can read...and his reading is near grade level finally (he tested at beginning of 4th grade and he is nearing end of 4th) and is getting better and better. His confidence gets in the way. (or lack of it). If he doesn't recognize a word, he will simply blurt out any word that sounds similar or has similar letters in it (make sense?) instead of using the strategies we have taught him over and over and over ad nauseam. Little by little, right? Ok, so I have issues with spelling...bad spelling is a huge pet peeve of mine. :blushing: I have issues, ok? LOL. So I want my kids to be good spellers. I'm trying to let it go.

 

As for what we use for ds10 for reading...I gave up on reading programs and now we just read...a lot. We use Rod and Staff spelling now...just started. I tried to use WRTR (Spalding method) and tanked. I got the book out, laminated the phonogram cards and intend to read it AGAIN and give it another try. Maybe, lol. I can't afford BW classes right now but wish I could.

 

Thanks again for suggestions...I'm going to read them over again, do some more praying about this and try and relax a bit. :)

 

 

On another thread I saw ds10 was on Magic Tree House--if you add in fact trackers there is a lot of learning packed into those. Could ds10 read each book including the companion Fact Trackers to you, dh, or one of the older good readers to get all the words right, then read to dc 7 and 4 (maybe more than once per book) to get fluency practice and confidence built up for him, and to give entertainment and learning bits about history and science and so on to them? Also thereby freeing you to do some work with the olders while he reads to youngers?

 

While checking out unschooling and deschooling, also google "self-propelled" learning or self-propelled schooling. I had thought at one point that I had come up with the idea myself, and then heard that it is a whole movement in itself. Don't know if there are websites or books as yet. What I am doing seems to be a mix between what other call unschooling and "self-propelled" because I allow choice freedom in some areas (as with unschooling), but not all, but promote self-reliance in all areas, even if I require them against child druthers. The typical 'self-propelled' as I understand the term is used by others, is more parent requirements in all areas, with no child freedom as to subjects and so on, but with self-reliance to carry it out. It is supposed to be especially well suited to large families, because the children are supposed to go to one another for help before going to the parent, With several, especially if they have various learning issues, I think it would make the difference between maintaining parental sanity and despair. :)

[birchbark]

While checking out unschooling and deschooling, also google "self-propelled" learning or self-propelled schooling.

 

 

Thanks for bringing this up, Pen. I don't know if this is what you are referring to, but I googled and discovered Joanne Calderwood's book and site. I've added the book to my wishlist and want to look into this more, especially as we approach high school. I have been interested in doing something similar, but was always afraid that it wouldn't provide good preparation for college. Apparently Joanne's family has had no such trouble!