Dmmetler Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 At the beginning of the year, I set up several monthly groups based around DD's interests, and they've been great. We had this nice group of bright kids who'd really clicked. However, two other moms in our homeschool group arranged for additional outside classes to be offered to the group. Both are good activities, and neither exactly overlaps my little clubs-but they've attracted many of the same kids. And the result is, where before I had 10-12 kids RSVP'd for mythology-for this week's meeting I have 0 that have said they're coming, and only a few who have posted regrets-and the reason comes down to "Oh, we have art in the morning now, and we have drama tomorrow, and it's just too much". 1 if I count my DD. I just posted cancelling the group for this month. I I want to cry. How am I supposed to tell DD that this thing that she's loved has vanished because someone else scheduled an art class in the morning and the moms don't want two events on the same day? And am I the only one who thinks that when you join an ongoing class, you should plan to stick with it, not go following "Ooh, new, shiny??" I'm sure it doesn't help any that I'm hormonal as heck right now-but I want to curl up in a ball. It's like every effort I take to get DD an ongoing peer group of kids who actually are close to her age and share interests fails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 That's a bummer. Would your daughter enjoy the art class? Maybe she could draw a mythical beast as her art project? :) My kids have several extracurricular activities on Thursday evenings. Their school periodically schedules choir or jr. bells to perform in Thursday evening church, which really throws things off. We skipped the first one in favor of the previously scheduled classes, but I realized that this was going to be a recurring issue and they'd miss too many performances if we insisted on sticking with their regular Thursday stuff. So it's unfortunate, but I can see how it could happen. Sorry that your daughter will be disappointed. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in Richmond Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 :grouphug: This happened to us, too. Several times I tried to set up a math club for homeschoolers so that my kids could find like-minded friends. There would be initial interest every year & maybe 8-10 families who'd sign up over the summer. But inevitably we'd end up with only 1 or 2 other kids who actually attended, even for the first meeting. And I offered to do all the planning, charged no fee except for optional contest entry fees, kept it fun, etc. So sorry!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I'm sorry everyone backed out. That is disappointing. I'd contact those who are normally involved and see if they are done for good. If so, I'd try and find new people to participate. If your child likes it, then keep it going with new kids. I'd also consider setting up some kind of small fee, and maybe purchased mythology related materials for the kids with the money. Families tend to stick with what they've already paid for...though not always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I am sorry. The only solution I can see is to charge for participation - even a small fee will make people think twice about dropping the activity if they have invested. It is typical that free opportunities are not valued as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Geez...if we lived by you, we'd be there! Sorry to hear about this. My dd tried to set up a book club in first grade when she was in ps. She was so disappointed too when she put forth the invites, got everyone together, followed an outline from AG on how to run a book club and all the other girls just wanted to giggle and play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 This is a big problem among homeschoolers, unfortunately. They sign up for things, then back out last minute. Very common. I agree with charging a fee that covers multiple classes. You'll probably still get some dropouts, but not nearly as many. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I say this gently. Just as you set up classes following your dd's interests, it could very well be that the other, new, classes are of more interest for the other children. If I signed up for a mythology class for my dd, but later an art class was offered, I would probably opt for art - because my dd's interests veer in that direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I'm SO sorry. I know how much effort it takes to run these groups. I know it's really hard to look at the bright side now but please take heart that eventually you'll find out who are the people who will stick to the commitment and make it work. Don't let this setback discourage you. We initially started with a group of 6 to 8 kids and now it has dwindled to 3 or 4 but the beautiful thing is that we have found committed families who try to make it work. Occasionally someone drifts away for a semester or so (mine included when we have car problems or other issues) but we always get back together the following semester. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Oh, I'm so sorry. I know how important these groups were for you & your DD. FWIW my DD would much prefer that to art if she were there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamppost Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 This is a big problem among homeschoolers, unfortunately. They sign up for things, then back out last minute. Very common. It's a problem among people in general, and I think what makes it easier to back out of things last-minute is that RSVP-ing is done mainly online these days. If you had to actually speak to the host to send your regrets, you'd probably be more inclined to keep commitments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamppost Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 double post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trillian Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I'm sorry. It's also the time of the year when the year round classes have lost their shine. I have had to force DS to his - he enjoys it once he's there but when we're at home, it doesn't seem fun anymore. Obviously, I see the value of having stick out the commitment, but he's a bit older too. I'm not sure at 8, I would have even signed him up for a year long class. Maybe they over estimated their kids endurance? It still sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 Thanks, everyone. Honestly, if, a month ago when the art class was opened up (it's an outside class, just one that a member arranged for homeschoolers during the day), the parents had sent me a message and said "Hey, DC really wants to take art, so we're going to drop mythology", I don't think I'd have been as upset-maybe we could have changed the day of the week, or at least it could have closed gracefully, and I could have told DD "X, Y, and Z are taking art. Are you interested?" I didn't even CONSIDER the art class because I already had commitments to lead this group on that day. But instead, what's happened is that we're 2 days out from the next mythology class, and so far, only 2 people took the initiative to tell me that they're not going to be there.(and one of them is about the only person I'd excuse from not bothering to get online and post a message or sending an e-mail-she just started chemotherapy. I can understand her wanting to clear the schedule as much as possible.). The rest just haven't replied to requests. It's only when I've asked them directly that I've gotten the "Oh, we're doing art, and that's just too much on one day". So, I've got an eager child who has her presentation to share with the group all prepared, and is going to have no one to share it with. I'm going to try to arrange SOMETHING for that day. I don't know what yet--unfortunately, while her PS friends have had all sorts of holidays and half days so far this month, Wednesday isn't one of them, so I can't set something up with one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 That they didn't tell you really is rude. Hugs for your dd. Thanks, everyone. Honestly, if, a month ago when the art class was opened up (it's an outside class, just one that a member arranged for homeschoolers during the day), the parents had sent me a message and said "Hey, DC really wants to take art, so we're going to drop mythology", I don't think I'd have been as upset-maybe we could have changed the day of the week, or at least it could have closed gracefully, and I could have told DD "X, Y, and Z are taking art. Are you interested?" I didn't even CONSIDER the art class because I already had commitments to lead this group on that day. But instead, what's happened is that we're 2 days out from the next mythology class, and so far, only 2 people took the initiative to tell me that they're not going to be there.(and one of them is about the only person I'd excuse from not bothering to get online and post a message or sending an e-mail-she just started chemotherapy. I can understand her wanting to clear the schedule as much as possible.). The rest just haven't replied to requests. It's only when I've asked them directly that I've gotten the "Oh, we're doing art, and that's just too much on one day". So, I've got an eager child who has her presentation to share with the group all prepared, and is going to have no one to share it with. I'm going to try to arrange SOMETHING for that day. I don't know what yet--unfortunately, while her PS friends have had all sorts of holidays and half days so far this month, Wednesday isn't one of them, so I can't set something up with one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 We've experienced this too. My personal opinion is that just not as many kids are interested in the academic type activities as the extra-curricular ones. It stinks though when you have a kid that really is interested though. It seems easy to fill and art class or horseback riding lessons, and much more difficult to find people willing to commit to chess and science and mythology. I'm sorry! We would come! Ds would love a mythology class! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Hugs for your daughter, and some for you too. I'm sad that she worked on a presentation and will not have anyone to present to. I also think it was a bit odd for someone to join a group and then set up an activity that while not in direct conflict, would be very likely to siphon kids off from the activities you already had running. That's kind of rude, in my book, if she didn't discuss it with you first. It's kind of like joining a group that offers a gym class and then setting up a competing gym class or something. You don't offer something the same day if there are other days available, or if there are already a few activities available, you talk to the people offering them and ask if you can join the rotation, just to avoid this type of situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Thanks, everyone. Honestly, if, a month ago when the art class was opened up (it's an outside class, just one that a member arranged for homeschoolers during the day), the parents had sent me a message and said "Hey, DC really wants to take art, so we're going to drop mythology", I don't think I'd have been as upset-maybe we could have changed the day of the week, or at least it could have closed gracefully, and I could have told DD "X, Y, and Z are taking art. Are you interested?" I didn't even CONSIDER the art class because I already had commitments to lead this group on that day. But instead, what's happened is that we're 2 days out from the next mythology class, and so far, only 2 people took the initiative to tell me that they're not going to be there.(and one of them is about the only person I'd excuse from not bothering to get online and post a message or sending an e-mail-she just started chemotherapy. I can understand her wanting to clear the schedule as much as possible.). The rest just haven't replied to requests. It's only when I've asked them directly that I've gotten the "Oh, we're doing art, and that's just too much on one day". So, I've got an eager child who has her presentation to share with the group all prepared, and is going to have no one to share it with. I'm going to try to arrange SOMETHING for that day. I don't know what yet--unfortunately, while her PS friends have had all sorts of holidays and half days so far this month, Wednesday isn't one of them, so I can't set something up with one of them. Yikes! I'm sorry about your DD and hugs to her. I wish we could do some sort of Skype conference for a group of kids here who are also interested in Greek myths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Thanks, everyone. So, I've got an eager child who has her presentation to share with the group all prepared, and is going to have no one to share it with. I'm going to try to arrange SOMETHING for that day. I don't know what yet--unfortunately, while her PS friends have had all sorts of holidays and half days so far this month, Wednesday isn't one of them, so I can't set something up with one of them. Can you videotape her giving her presentation and upload it, or is that too anti-privacy-ick for you? Or send the video to any grandparents or close friends who support homeschooling who would send her nice responses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Yikes! I'm sorry about your DD and hugs to her. I wish we could do some sort of Skype conference for a group of kids here who are also interested in Greek myths. Why don't you?? My boys would LOVE that!! And op, I feel for you! I started a world geography class in September and we had 12 kids. We now have 6. None of them wanted to do any work, even though i really have tried to make it fun--lots of projects, games, etc. And yes, "other" things came up. My younger is disappointed but at least we have the 6. He also desperately wanted to start a reading club AND a writing club. Zero interest. Sigh. It is hard to find him like-minded children to talk with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I'm sorry - I know that group sounded so fun and perfect for your DD. There were a few die-hard mythology fan kids there, right? Maybe you could talk directly with those parents and find a better time or just some one-on-one visits with those kids. Hugs. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 :grouphug: I agree with others that people involved should have RSVP'd earlier or called and let you know if they did not plan to continue your course. Also a bit rude for the person to set up the art class on the same day her child already had a commitment. I agree that charging a small fee would help with getting people to stick with it. Also, maybe making the class run in smaller time segments might help. If something ran for a limited period (like a weekly class for 8-12 weeks) then I had to sign up again for it rather than making the decision to come week by week, I would be more likely to participate for those periods when we could. I tend to do better with limited time commitments (a clear beginning and end to it rather than an all year sort of thing) though I would have called to RSVP. I do tend to stick out whatever we start with but am less likely to sign up for something if it is continuous. I hate when I organize something and nobody shows enough courtesy to respond yes or no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Next time I do book club, I am going to charge $100 up front. However, if your child attends and has actually read the book I will give you back all your money..$10 each time. It is frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trillian Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 A Skype presentation would be a great idea! I hope your daughter finds someway to present. That is heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 DM, did you see Halcyons post for online submissions? It doesn't of course replace face to face interaction, but it is something. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/453566-we-need-submissions-for-our-online-newsletter/page__gopid__4682080#entry4682080 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 :grouphug: I find that homeschoolers are notoriously fickle with their commitments, often to the point of rudeness. I know that doesn't help with how your dd is feeling right now, but it isn't personal. I have found that charging a nominal fee (versus offering classes for free) is the only thing that really will help with that. Even with fees, a surprising number of homeschoolers will just fail to show and lose their money. I just don't understand that mindset. I love the pp's idea of charging $100 up front then refunding $10 for every class attended. Brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clemota Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 So sorry to hear this, especially for your daughter. I was raised with a "if you start it, you do your very best to finish it" kind of attitude and it's very frustrating when I see how quickly other families drop their obligations. "I found something better!" is not an excuse. Nor is "It's hard!" or "It's not what I was expecting." "Stick-to-it-iveness" is a desired value in our family. I wish more people had it. And I agree with the other posters: perhaps charging a small fee for future groups would encourage people to stay. For some people it takes money for it to be "worthwhile." That's their loss. Hugs to your daughter and you, Gabrielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 Good news! We had our group valentine's party/exchange today, and there was a family there who had moved to Texas about a year ago, but is back visiting. As it turns out, their 10 yr old DD is preparing for the NME as well, and would LOVE someone to talk Mythology with-so they're coming over tomorrow, which will give DD a chance to share what she's prepared, and I'm sure they'll find something to do together ;), and since the NME is coming up very, very quickly, I can just claim that as the natural end to the group, and maybe let DD come up with some one shot deals or field trips for later in the Spring as it starts getting prettier outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahW Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Good news! We had our group valentine's party/exchange today, and there was a family there who had moved to Texas about a year ago, but is back visiting. As it turns out, their 10 yr old DD is preparing for the NME as well, and would LOVE someone to talk Mythology with-so they're coming over tomorrow, which will give DD a chance to share what she's prepared, and I'm sure they'll find something to do together ;), and since the NME is coming up very, very quickly, I can just claim that as the natural end to the group, and maybe let DD come up with some one shot deals or field trips for later in the Spring as it starts getting prettier outside. Glad it worked out! All of the other parents are obviously suffering under the mistaken impression that Art and Music classes are more important than Mythology. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I'm sorry. I hope you are feeling better today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Glad it worked out! All of the other parents are obviously suffering under the mistaken impression that Art and Music classes are more important than Mythology. :glare: nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Yay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Next time I do book club, I am going to charge $100 up front. However, if your child attends and has actually read the book I will give you back all your money..$10 each time. It is frustrating. Cool idea although a lot of people i know would have trouble coming up with the $100. I think limited time would be easier. People could then say you can't do do x this term because you have already signed up for y. Also maybe some guidelines about creating new courses. At least your daughter gets an example of good versus bad manners. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Good news! We had our group valentine's party/exchange today, and there was a family there who had moved to Texas about a year ago, but is back visiting. As it turns out, their 10 yr old DD is preparing for the NME as well, and would LOVE someone to talk Mythology with-so they're coming over tomorrow, which will give DD a chance to share what she's prepared, and I'm sure they'll find something to do together ;), and since the NME is coming up very, very quickly, I can just claim that as the natural end to the group, and maybe let DD come up with some one shot deals or field trips for later in the Spring as it starts getting prettier outside. I am so glad of this happy news! and hope it goes well for your little one. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 14, 2013 Author Share Posted February 14, 2013 The playdate went really, really well. It's kind of sad that they're heading back to Texas today-but the girls had a great time. I'm not sure how much mythology study got done, but they have drawings for the legends they were creating together all over our schoolroom whiteboard ;). The other mom also pointed out something that was right in front of my face, but that I'd not quite put together. Since they separated the classes for co-op (or maybe WHY they separated the classes for co-op), there's a real clique issue with some of the older elementary girls-basically, one 11 yr old queen bee who seems to be deciding what her entire little hive will do. Guess who's mom set up the art class? Based on what she observed when her 10 yr old was visiting, she suspects even kids who would have preferred mythology to art would have signed up for art because they didn't want to be left out by the queen bee (she said the queen bee was even dictating which snacks were "good" and which ones weren't-and that the other moms seemed totally oblivious). DD's in the younger class, and I'm teaching music with the preschool siblings, so I hadn't put that together (or at least, not put together that the friendship between this small group of girls had turned into actively pushing out other kids), even though DD has complained about how "Mean" the older girls have gotten, and is tending to choose to socialize with some of the kids in the younger group instead of the slightly older kids she got along with better even a few months ago. I guess I'd kind of assumed that we'd left that sort of stuff behind when we left public school. Guess not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 ... I guess I'd kind of assumed that we'd left that sort of stuff behind when we left public school. Guess not. oh, sweetie ... sometimes it all seems Too Challenging. I suppose it is good to have insight into what happened ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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