I can't believe I have to ask. Did you staff a nursery for your wedding?

[myfunnybunch]

We did, but....

 

a) We each had a child from our previous marriages.

B) One of those children has autism and we needed to provide care for her anyway.

c) It was a small venue in the winter, so children could not go outside to play.

and

d) We did it because we wanted to and were providing childcare for our own children, not because anyone expected it.

 

I am appalled at the nerve of the folks who expect childcare provided for their children. :confused1:

[G5052]

No. DH's siblings had 12 kids between them that were all under the age of 12, and we just made sure that they knew where to take them if they couldn't sit. We had a morning wedding and a lunch buffet, so it wasn't too bad.

 

I was in one wedding where they did provide childcare for those that were actually in the wedding for obvious reasons, but that's the only time I can think of where it was provided. We've also been invited to weddings were children were not invited to all or part of it. For those, I went alone to represent the family, and DH stayed with the kids.

[elegantlion]

You could invite her and put her in charge of all the kids. :laugh: Although it sounds like the kids might be more mature. :cursing:

[Jayne J]

Wow--FaithManor I sure hope it wasn't anything that I posted that made you feel you couldn't post wedding stuff here! You've been very clear that your situation is very different for a number of reasons. Your niece sounds like a real piece of work, and every family has situations and issues that make these kinds of events difficult. (And the mother of the bride takes the flack apparently...). I am very, very sorry if anything I posted made a difficult situation more difficult, and I hope you will reconsider wedding pics, vents and other wedding related posts.

[Excelsior! Academy]

No. We got married in a casino in Vegas, so I am probably not the best to ask.

[Impish]

Hmmm...can you put it out on FB, and to whom ever else, that the wedding is being changed to July? Or they're eloping to Vegas?

[Rhonda in TX]

I did, but I definitely don't think it's required. I just thought it was a nice thing to offer. I never expected it at weddings I attended with my young children. Of course, I probably hired my own sitter and left them at home. :)

[FaithManor]

Hmmm...can you put it out on FB, and to whom ever else, that the wedding is being changed to July? Or they're eloping to Vegas?

 

 

Imp, that would be wonderful but I'm sure some people would track me down and beat me up!

 

I just hope we can pull this off without the crazzies ruining things. His family is really looking forward to this trip and there isn't a nutty one in the bunch or at least if they have nutters, it appear they have them safely locked in the cellar! :D I would hate for the few ridiculous people we feel obligated to put up with, to turn it into an episode straight out of a Jeff Foxworthy joke set!

 

I can see the FB post now, "Dear certifiable whackaloons I am related to, please note that DD's wedding has been moved to Alberta, CAN though we are not residents or citizens of that lovely country. Here is the address. A friend and her husband, Wolf, a very hungry carnivore, will be hosting."

 

Snicker, snicker, snicker, now that would be great!

 

Faith

[kewb]

I think the person missing the ettiquette train is your relative. It is very nice when a sitter or nursery is offered but it is far from mandatory. Even if it was good manners to provide a nursery it is worse manners to point out when someone else has poor manners. So, she is still wrong.

[Mommyfaithe]

I did...but only because it was my kids that needed watching. I hired 2 teen girls...and they were in charge of 5 kids, 2 of whom were mine.....I wanted to enjoy my dd's wedding!

[cathmom]

Two of dh's cousins had babies or toddlers and were coming from out of state. I made it clear to them both that their dc were more than welcome at the wedding and reception. They were grateful.

 

I wonder if there's a Catholic/Protestant angle here since Catholics tend not to have nurseries. Which would be ironic, since Catholics weddings are a lot longer!

[Giraffe]

For the record, my like above is to the FB post

[PachiSusan]

Two of dh's cousins had babies or toddlers and were coming from out of state. I made it clear to them both that their dc were more than welcome at the wedding and reception. They were grateful.

 

I wonder if there's a Catholic/Protestant angle here since Catholics tend not to have nurseries. Which would be ironic, since Catholics weddings are a lot longer!

 

 

Every Catholic parish I have gone to has a cry room/nursery. Maybe it is just where I'm from - California?

[Harriet Vane]

I have heard of such a thing being offered as a courtesy, but have never personally attended a wedding where this was offered. (I have attended many of the years.)

 

Folks are all too quick to spend other people's money or to feel free to dictate their own wishes upon other people's time and resources. Just say no.

[Remudamom]

Forget the babysitter and get the bouncer! Or private security?

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Every Catholic parish I have gone to has a cry room/nursery. Maybe it is just where I'm from - California?

 

From what the OP has said, there is a nursery in the building. It just isn't open for non church-sponsored events due to misuse in the past. Faith - the fact that the nursery isn't open for use is more than enough reason to say that you can't have one even for family.

[PachiSusan]

 

From what the OP has said, there is a nursery in the building. It just isn't open for non church-sponsored events due to misuse in the past. Faith - the fact that the nursery isn't open for use is more than enough reason to say that you can't have one even for family.

 

Yes, I saw that. I was just commenting on another poster who asked if there was a Catholic/Protestant thing going on.

[amyrobynne]

I like having kids around during weddings.

 

On the other side, my best friend from high school got married at a winery and the invitation included a note (we had kids ages 6, 4, and newborn at the time) saying that only babies were welcome but the couple would be happy to recommend local babysitters. Since most people were flying in for the wedding, I thought that was respectfully done. We were looking forward to it as our first time leaving the big kids with grandma and grandpa for the weekend so we didn't need to take them up on the offer. My husband held the cranky 2 month old out of earshot during the ceremony, then he slept through the whole reception. We were seated with another family with a tiny baby. It worked out great.

[Impish]

Imp, that would be wonderful but I'm sure some people would track me down and beat me up!

 

I just hope we can pull this off without the crazzies ruining things. His family is really looking forward to this trip and there isn't a nutty one in the bunch or at least if they have nutters, it appear they have them safely locked in the cellar! :D I would hate for the few ridiculous people we feel obligated to put up with, to turn it into an episode straight out of a Jeff Foxworthy joke set!

 

I can see the FB post now, "Dear certifiable whackaloons I am related to, please note that DD's wedding has been moved to Alberta, CAN though we are not residents or citizens of that lovely country. Here is the address. A friend and her husband, Wolf, a very hungry carnivore, will be hosting."

 

Snicker, snicker, snicker, now that would be great!

 

Faith

Bwah hahaha! For you, I'd do it. Send 'em up. I could use some practice w/setting boundaries w/whackadoodles. Plus, I'd never have to see them again...and could get them rapidly sent outta the country, I'm betting...*evil grin*

[Hen]

I've never heard of childcare being provided. I would be worried about the liability of offering care, what if something happens and a child gets hurt? or a child breaks something? I wouldn't want the liability and would want parents to find their own sitters. If I had family coming from out of the area, I might offer the names of a sitter and maybe, let them use my house, but no, I wouldn't feel obligated to arrange and pay for it.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have to sign off in about 30 min. and don't know when I'll be back, so I hope some of you will have time to answer quickly.

 

I'm receiving flack for not staffing a church nursery or providing at my expense, a babysitter for my niece so she can bring her two year old to dd's wedding, but not have to take care of her.

 

My sister in law thinks I'm a real chump for not doing it. To the point that she's called my mother and my mother in law to complain that I'm clueless on etiquette.

 

Seriously, is there an etiquette rule out there that says we are supposed to provide childcare? In my day, such a thing was not done. Either kids were invited or they weren't and it was up to the parents to choose how to deal with it. (We didn't actually invite said two year old great niece, her mother just announced she wanted her daughter to attend and expected us to provide on-site childcare in case she gets noisy or needs a nap.)

 

Faith

 

No.

The whole concept is pretty weird to me.

[Crimson Wife]

It is a nice gesture for out-of-town guests but totally optional.

[Crimson Wife]

I've never heard of childcare being provided. I would be worried about the liability of offering care, what if something happens and a child gets hurt? or a child breaks something? I wouldn't want the liability and would want parents to find their own sitters. If I had family coming from out of the area, I might offer the names of a sitter and maybe, let them use my house, but no, I wouldn't feel obligated to arrange and pay for it.

 

 

Typically it is arranged through the venue and would fall under the general facility liability policy.

[tex-mex]

NO.

 

The only weddings I have attended state on the invitation children are invited (no childcare) or they are NOT invited. Many of the weddings I have attended over the 30 years usually state NO CHILDREN. I think you are being kind. Let the nutty relative watch her own kids, for pete's sake.

[Grover]

(We didn't actually invite said two year old great niece, her mother just announced she wanted her daughter to attend and expected us to provide on-site childcare in case she gets noisy or needs a nap.)

 

Faith

 

this is the part that gets me. The child isn't even invited? Tell your sister to suck it up and grow up.

[fraidycat]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

It's not too late to hand your DD and future SonIL some cash and tell them elope. :coolgleamA:

 

Honestly, that is my advice to any and all singles these days. Elope, or just immediate family in a backyard somewhere on a quiet afternoon, then spend any money that would have been spent on a wedding for an awesome vacation (or house downpayment, or pay off student loans, etc.)