lea_lpz Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 when you were not trying to conceive and had recently brought the topic up about another baby and dh said no, how would you break the news. I am on bc and was a couple days late so took a test without really even remotely expecting a positive result. Surprise! It's positive. DH is not going to be thrilled. What do I say? Anyone been in this situation before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 First, I would thank God. ;) I have fantasized about this, even though this particular part would be uncomfortable. My SIL, who had this happen, ran to her dh with the stick and just said, "I'm pregnant." Of course, he sighed, but soon enough, all was fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I had this happen with baby #4 - It was not pretty around here for about a week. He then, and I'll quote him, "Pulled his head out of his a$$," and things were great from then on. Praying you do not have to go through the hurt, and that your dh will be kind and understanding. Congratulations! Babies are a blessing. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomToJazmyne Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I had this happen in August.... I texted him a picture of the positive pregnancy test. I did this mainly so that he could get over whatever attitude/choice words he had before we actually talked about it... He is now just as if not more excited than I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I would not expect his first response to be positive and I would be tolerant of it. I would give it time to sink in. If his first response was negative, I would not take it personally or hold it against him. Now, if after a few days/weeks, depending on the person, the attitude had not changed I would look into couples therapy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Haa that happened with all 6 pregnancies. Guess what, he'll have to get over it, won't he. And, he will. My last surprise is 7, and she sleeps in the bed with us most nights. (He is totally ok with that, that's because I shield him from the elbows and kicks) Will it be hard at first? Yes, but it will work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I would do a HAPPY dance! Then, I would tell him while keeping in mind the entire time that he will possibly be unhappy about it. I would do my best not to get upset by his reaction (even if it hurt), and give him time to adjust. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I would say to him "Remember when we had that talk about another baby and you said no? And you know that saying "man plans and God laughs" ? Well he is laughing right now" and then hand him the test. What's done is done, he will have to suck it up and accept this one just like the rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 We were remodeling at the time. I made him his favorite dinner to soften him up. Then I asked about the timeline for the remodel. Then I said, well...we have one more project under construction, and it will take about 9 months. Then I cringed. He handled it well, considering. He kind of shouted "what? Your pregnant?!" Then sighed, and said he needed to buy more life insurance. After that he took some calming breaths and looked at our daughter, who had climbed onto his lap, and said "well, I like this one, I'm sure I'll like the new one too." It was really cute. Edited to Add: After a little while he was more excited about this one than the last one. Seriously. He really got into it after a while. It will be fine. Hugs...I know I was a nervous wreck while waiting for him to get home so I could tell him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I've just left the positive pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and let him deal with his emotions before I had to deal with them. :leaving: ETA: I think I warned him that there was something he needed to see on the bathroom counter so it wouldn't be a total shock. But really, I wanted him to get a few seconds to collect himself before I talked to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Others have given good advice; I just want to say congratulations!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Just had that happen to us in July! We are waiting for our first boy to join us! I must say that hubby handled it much better then I did. I took the test and then just called him into the bathroom and said he had to see something. I was sitting and crying! He hugged me, reassured me and let me just cry. He is excited about welcoming our newest member! I'm having the harder time with adjusting our plans! Good thing God know better than us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 3 out of 4 were surprise babies. The last one was one that he was lobbying for, but I wanted to wait another year. After I took the test, I walked out of the bathroom and said, "You win." I like the idea of texting him the picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Yep, this happened to us in December, only neither of us wanted another baby. I'm still having moments of panic. I just blurted it out, although in hindsight, I wish I had given him a card that will someday be funny: "Roses are red, violets are blue, your 'snip' kinda sucked, I guess we're not stopping at two." ETA: He was shocked at first, but actually took it pretty well. Way better than the kids, whose reactions were, "Um, no," and, "Can you take it back to the store?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I would preface it with a VERY clear statement that I did NOT do this on purpose and I did follow whatever bc methods we had agreed upon . . . Then, I'd show him the test. I'd just want to be sure that before he reacted, he had a chance to be sure I didn't trick him, as I wouldn't want that doubt to shadow his reaction, because IMHO, it is pretty fair to be angry if the accident wasn't so accidental, and it really is a fair doubt, as it is very common. I'd like to remove that doubt before it shadowed his reaction. Fwiw, I am jealous. ;) congrats! He'll get over it, and all will be well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljenn Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 At 46, I think I'd keel over! Haha! Congratulations on your wonderful news!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Praise God, and then just hand your DH the stick. If he's drunk TeA at all, even with protection, there's always a chance that there will be a souvenir from the TeA. Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 My best surprise pregnancy is #3. DH told me I was pregnant! :laugh: I was cleaning the bathroom and found a 2-3 year old pregnancy test. I didn't think it was viable, but I hate to waste things so I used it and left it on the back of the toilet. I didn't even bother to stick around to see what would happen. I was that sure that I wasn't pregnant. I totally and completely forgot about it. Really, I did. An hour later dh comes up to me and asks all concerned if there's something I want to tell him. :huh: You know, about the KIDS. :confused: Don't you know you're pregnant??? :eek: I actually walked all the way to the bathroom because I did not believe him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Yep, you're living my fantasy. :-) LOL. I would just throw the test at him and tell him what a stud he is. Just kidding. :-) Good luck, however you end up doing it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 My best surprise pregnancy is #3. DH told me I was pregnant! :laugh: I was cleaning the bathroom and found a 2-3 year old pregnancy test. I didn't think it was viable, but I hate to waste things so I used it and left it on the back of the toilet. I didn't even bother to stick around to see what would happen. I was that sure that I wasn't pregnant. I totally and completely forgot about it. Really, I did. An hour later dh comes up to me and asks all concerned if there's something I want to tell him. :huh: You know, about the KIDS. :confused: Don't you know you're pregnant??? :eek: I actually walked all the way to the bathroom because I did not believe him. OMG! That's hilarious! Thanks for all the responses. He's home. Haven't told him yet. We have my parents coming by this afternoon and want to wait. The reason I am nervous is because I brought up wanting a baby at Christmas and he said no, so I feel like he'll think I just did it anyway, but that's not the case at all. I was in utter disbelief when I saw a positive. I didn't even go out and get a test. I had a spare from a while back when I was late (and that was negative). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 My best surprise pregnancy is #3. DH told me I was pregnant! :laugh: I was cleaning the bathroom and found a 2-3 year old pregnancy test. I didn't think it was viable, but I hate to waste things so I used it and left it on the back of the toilet. I didn't even bother to stick around to see what would happen. I was that sure that I wasn't pregnant. I totally and completely forgot about it. Really, I did. An hour later dh comes up to me and asks all concerned if there's something I want to tell him. :huh: You know, about the KIDS. :confused: Don't you know you're pregnant??? :eek: I actually walked all the way to the bathroom because I did not believe him. My dad told my mom she was pregnant. She was very sick with a stomach bug, she thought. She called her OB/GYN because she didn't have a family practice doctor, to ask them to refer her to someone in the area. They asked her symptoms and then asked, "are you SURE you don't need our kind of doctor?" She insisted she didn't, and told them she was way too sick to come in to the office just to have them tell her she wasn't pregnant. So they compromised, and my dad took a urine sample to the doctor's office. They then sent him home and he told her that she was pregnant :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I would confirm it first, but that is just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 when you were not trying to conceive and had recently brought the topic up about another baby and dh said no, how would you break the news. I am on bc and was a couple days late so took a test without really even remotely expecting a positive result. Surprise! It's positive. DH is not going to be thrilled. What do I say? Anyone been in this situation before? Well, it is what it is. He might be upset, but it's not like you were purposefully trying to deceive him by messing up your bc. He is a party to this and has to accept his responsibility for it just as much as you. He might not even be as upset as you are anticipating. Even if he is, you are his wife. You made a baby together. If he is a loving and responsible spouse, he will continue to love and support you through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 My best surprise pregnancy is #3. DH told me I was pregnant! :laugh: I was cleaning the bathroom and found a 2-3 year old pregnancy test. I didn't think it was viable, but I hate to waste things so I used it and left it on the back of the toilet. I didn't even bother to stick around to see what would happen. I was that sure that I wasn't pregnant. I totally and completely forgot about it. Really, I did. An hour later dh comes up to me and asks all concerned if there's something I want to tell him. :huh: You know, about the KIDS. :confused: Don't you know you're pregnant??? :eek: I actually walked all the way to the bathroom because I did not believe him. Oh, that is priceless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 I told him. He says he's mad but keeps looking at me and smiling and laughing so I guess he's ok. And looking at the kids, running his hands through his hair. It's just we were hoping for me to graduate next May and so it'll be work to finish all my classes without a new born. And we were struggling financially until the last 6 months. We've paid off all are debts, but still scary. He was hoping we waited another year or two so I had my degree to work part time and enough money to move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I'm so happy for you and very glad that he took it so well. What did you say when you told him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I left the positive test on his desk for him to find. After he saw it came looking for me to ask if it was real. I ended up taking longer to warm up to the pregnancy than he did. Congratulations and good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Our last one was a surprise. Not only did we both think we were done, we were using protection. It took a while for both of us to get used to the idea, but neither of us can imagine our lives without her in it now. She's such a joy and a blessing. I would tell him and then give him space to process it. And know that he will probably be angry and in denial before he gets to acceptance (and excitement). Don't hold it against him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I'm glad you told him and that he's OK with it. I'm sure it was as big a shock to you as it was to him! Oh -- and CONGRATULATIONS!!! :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Congratulations! I am glad he is taking it well. Our third was a "surprise," and he has been my "easiest" child. Babies truly are blessings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Congrats! I am glad it went well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Sorry, I just have to muse out loud. Why does this happen to everybody but me??? Now back to your regularly scheduled thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Sorry, I just have to muse out loud. Why does this happen to everybody but me??? Now back to your regularly scheduled thread. Me, too, Quill. I would be over the moon, thrilled beyond belief if we could have just one more little blessing to love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 congratulations. I only had 2 planned pregnancies. the rest were all surprises. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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