morningcoffee Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you have teenagers or young adults still at home can you please ...... 1. Briefly describe your house 2. Tell me where your kids entertain, hang out, use technology, do their schoolwork etc 3. Share with me how you have adapted your house to suit your kids as they move into adulthood. I would love some tips! We have two preteens at the moment but I am wondering whether we need to renovate or move or just adapt what we have. We have ... 3 bedrooms (one is quite small) a medium size living/dining room which also houses our computer and tv smallish kitchen with no room for table one small bathroom with separate toilet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you have teenagers or young adults still at home can you please ...... 1. Briefly describe your house 2. Tell me where your kids entertain, hang out, use technology, do their schoolwork etc 3. Share with me how you have adapted your house to suit your kids as they move into adulthood. I would love some tips! We have two preteens at the moment but I am wondering whether we need to renovate or move or just adapt what we have. We have ... 3 bedrooms (one is quite small) a medium size living/dining room which also houses our computer and tv smallish kitchen with no room for table one small bathroom with separate toilet. I have a soon to be 16 year old girl 8 year old girl 11 and 14 year old boys, My house, 3 bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, one regular bathroom and one in the master bedroom, a school room and a den. My kids hang out everywhere! Their friends hang out everywhere! We always eat dinner as a family. The only computer is in the den. I do allow my oldest to have satelite on the TV in her room. The younger girl rarely plays in there and my oldest likes law shows. The TV in the boys room is only games, there is no service on it. My girls have the master bedroom as they have the most stuff. I give them privacy when asked for, that is about all I can do. If they have friends or whatever I will occupy the other kids. They do their school all over the house, wherever they may be comfy. It is nothing to walk through the house and step over people in odd places reading or whatever. My youngest likes to build caves to read. My oldest will stretch out anywhere she feels the urge this includes the kitchen floor. Other than my bedroom the house is pretty much theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Well I have had four houses with teens or young adults. They were all much bigger than your house. The smallest house had four bedrooms with one used as an office/guest room, a living room, dining room, large kitchen, florida room and two bathrooms. That house was too small, it turned out. It was okay when we didn't have our son there but really too small for five people. In the last two houses, we chose houses that had features we wanted. One of those was a family room on a lower level so teens could hang out there. Having the space for kids has made my kids a lot more likely to invite others over. I think it was a great change for us. Other than that, we made sure that each child had their own room and own computer. That stopped a lot of problems. Other than having a family room, separate from the living room, and each having their own bedroom, we didn't change anything. Oh and we ended up getting another tv for the family room which also has a Wii. We also have one laptop right now, aside from the regular computers, and all the kids liked to use laptops while doing other things like watching something on tv. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you have teenagers or young adults still at home can you please ...... 1. Briefly describe your house 2. Tell me where your kids entertain, hang out, use technology, do their schoolwork etc 3. Share with me how you have adapted your house to suit your kids as they move into adulthood. I would love some tips! We have two preteens at the moment but I am wondering whether we need to renovate or move or just adapt what we have. We have ... 3 bedrooms (one is quite small) a medium size living/dining room which also houses our computer and tv smallish kitchen with no room for table one small bathroom with separate toilet. I have 16, 15, 12, and 7 yo kids. Our house is perfect for us. Kitchen opens up to family room. We spend the majority of our time here. Computer, tv, gaming systems, etc. are all here. Mostly the kids entertain in this area. My two older boys usually do their schoolwork in other parts of the house. ds16 is in his bedroom. ds15 goes to the basement. I work with the 12 and 7 in the family room. 12 takes his work up to guest bedroom when he's ready for his individual work. Do you have a basement? We have found that to be a great space for the teens when they want a little more privacy/space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morningcoffee Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 I have 16, 15, 12, and 7 yo kids. Our house is perfect for us. Kitchen opens up to family room. We spend the majority of our time here. Computer, tv, gaming systems, etc. are all here. Mostly the kids entertain in this area. My two older boys usually do their schoolwork in other parts of the house. ds16 is in his bedroom. ds15 goes to the basement. I work with the 12 and 7 in the family room. 12 takes his work up to guest bedroom when he's ready for his individual work. Do you have a basement? We have found that to be a great space for the teens when they want a little more privacy/space. No, we don't have a basement or anything that we could adapt for a second living space. What is down in your basement? Just to add to my original post... I was thinking about how technology affects the way families live in their homes. Most of the time I was growing up we had one tv and all of us gathered around to watch it. Now we can find our own space with our ipads, laptops, portable dvd players... is one large communal space as useful as it once was? Maybe I should assign everyone headphones so we all stay in one space :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I currently rent a 3-bedroom home. All the bedrooms are upstairs, and the basement is tiny and unusuable for entertaining. If dd has girl friends over, they often go up to her bedroom, which has a futon under her loft bed. For mixed groups, in one living room we have couches, etc. The other living room has a ping pong table. If dd has friends over I give them the run of the first floor. I can either do things in my office (first floor) or the kitchen, or I might choose to take a book up to my bedroom.TV/living room and a ping pong table. He loved being able to have his friends down there. The downside that I see is that it's entirely separate from parents. I like keeping closer tabs on the kids without seeming like I am officially checking up on them, and I also enjoy overhearing their conversations and silliness--I like being able to get to know dd's friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Our house sounds almost exactly like yours, except we have a den (which we have mostly used as a 4th bedroom -- and which you have to walk through to get to the bathroom -- haha), and we have an extra half bath off the kitchen. We are a family of 7 and at one time had 5 teenagers! I do wish we had one extra family room or a basement room. As it was, the kids were fine when they were younger. We always all hung out together in the living room/dining room area, where we did our school work, our computer was there, everything. If they had a friend over (when young, pre-teen) they'd either play in the middle of the living room or up in their bedroom. When they got to be teens, it was harder to invite more then one or two friends over, and a mixed group was especially tricky. My daughters could invite a couple of girlfriends in their room if they wanted privacy, but it seemed awkward to invite boy pals in their room! Their only other choice was to be in the main living area with mom and 4 siblings! The saving grace is that in the late spring, summer, and early fall, we have three screened porches that open up, upstairs and downstairs. It makes so much extra room, and that's when my kids would invite big groups over. I love our porches! One extra room the rest of the year would have been perfect (family room type room). Otherwise, I love our house, even the fact that we have to share spaces and be together a lot. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morningcoffee Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 Our house sounds almost exactly like yours, except we have a den (which we have mostly used as a 4th bedroom -- and which you have to walk through to get to the bathroom -- haha), and we have an extra half bath off the kitchen. We are a family of 7 and at one time had 5 teenagers! I do wish we had one extra family room or a basement room. As it was, the kids were fine when they were younger. We always all hung out together in the living room/dining room area, where we did our school work, our computer was there, everything. If they had a friend over (when young, pre-teen) they'd either play in the middle of the living room or up in their bedroom. When they got to be teens, it was harder to invite more then one or two friends over, and a mixed group was especially tricky. My daughters could invite a couple of girlfriends in their room if they wanted privacy, but it seemed awkward to invite boy pals in their room! Their only other choice was to be in the main living area with mom and 4 siblings! The saving grace is that in the late spring, summer, and early fall, we have three screened porches that open up, upstairs and downstairs. It makes so much extra room, and that's when my kids would invite big groups over. I love our porches! One extra room the rest of the year would have been perfect (family room type room). Otherwise, I love our house, even the fact that we have to share spaces and be together a lot. :) Yes, good point about outdoor living areas .. we could look into doing something like that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morningcoffee Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 Yes, the large communal space is useful for groups of friends to come over and jam or play games. It's also close enough to the kitchen for chaperoning to occur -- I have had to spell out the rules to some visitors and put my foot down on respect issues. We keep the bedrooms and office private. All entertaining is in the living room or outdoor space which works well. Schoolwork is done at the desk in the bedroom or table in office, depending on the child's distraction level. I've even had them take a kitchen counter space as a stand-up work desk. I have often thought about whether my dc would continue to entertain in their bedrooms as they got older. I like the idea of their bedrooms being private and having their friends hang out in the living room but our computer is in there and I am on it a fair bit with my paid work, homeschool stuff , paying bills etc ... I guess I could leave the space when their friends are there but that could be a bit of a pain for me. Also, at the moment when kids come over their Moms come over too and we sit and chat in the living room so the kids go off and play in the bedrooms. (Maybe Moms don't hang around as much when the kids are older; they just drop off and go?) I have thought of decorating their rooms as mini living rooms with maybe a day bed (or similar) to minimise the bedroom look? Has anyone done this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 We only have one public area in our house. The living room/dining room/kitchen is sort of U-shaped. There are 3 BRs on the main floor. My ds16 and dd14 have BR's on this level. My dd20 has the bedroom downstairs which is a larger room but there is no bathroom down there. We do have two bathrooms but one is our master suite and the kids only go in there if the hall bath is occupied by someone taking a shower. It's not very often. We don't have the kids needing to all get ready at the same time so the bathroom sharing is really not an issue. The kids hang out in the bedrooms. When they have friends over, they are in the bedrooms. Dd14 does her homework in her room. Dd16 homeschools and does his work at the dining room table with me. The only difference between now and when they were youngerl is that we don't have toys in the living room. All of their belongings are in their rooms. We do feel our house is small and would love more room, but we are unwilling to move house for what could be a short term fix. Dd20 is probably moving out this summer. Dd14 will be going away to college as soon as she graduates. This house is going to be just right when DH and I are living alone, although we will always have room for our kids should they need it as a temporary place. We just don't want a larger house for our "empty nest" days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Four teens here. Not much has changed. Friends either hang out in bedrooms or come to the main living areas for electronics and food. Or they go do something instead. Paintball or whatever. Homework and such is Wherever they want to plop down to do it. The house is about 2800sqft. We have four bedrooms for the kids. The two oldest boys have their own rooms, the next four boys share a large "gameroom" bedroom, and the three girls share one room. A large living room with lots of seating, big screen with xbox, wiiU, knect. A second dining/living that we use as a school room and this is where the computers are kept. And a dining room that has our table for 12 in it. The garage has an air hockey table and a sofa. Not much use on really hot or cold days, but enjoyed otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 This was a real problem for us before my oldest went to college, and I'm totally dreading when she's home for the summer. We have a very very small (750 square feet) 3 bedroom, 1 tiny bathroom house. Dd used to have her own room that was 9 x 9 1/2. She could have one, maybe two, friends over at a time and they would hang out in her room. On rare occasions, she would have 3 sleep over and they would sleep all over the living room - on the floor, the recliner and the couch - and take up every square inch. That was only for certain friends that she had known for years and they were okay with the arrangements (and two little kids walking on their heads in the morning). She had a bigger gathering after graduation and they slept outside in tents. We have a decent sized yard and an outdoor fireplace so it actually worked pretty well. When dd went to college, part of the deal for her living in the dorms was she was going to share a room with her sister while home. Her brother was given her small room, and the girls share what is technically the master bedroom (largest at 9 1/2 x 12, our bedroom is an add-in and is only 7 x 9). Dd has her own laptop so mostly sits on her bed when online, she watches netflix on her computer but also can watch the tv in the bedroom during the day when younger dd is in the living room playing. At least that's what happened at Christmas when she was just home for a month and split the time with her dad's house. I don't know how that's going to work for months with her wanting quiet and dd wanting to play. I'm hoping the little guys will be outside a lot. We are looking into getting her an apartment, with a roommate for next semester. It will actually work out cheaper than the dorms, we are close enough to help out if there are problems, and she would stay there year round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you have teenagers or young adults still at home can you please ...... 1. Briefly describe your house 2. Tell me where your kids entertain, hang out, use technology, do their schoolwork etc 3. Share with me how you have adapted your house to suit your kids as they move into adulthood. I would love some tips! We have two preteens at the moment but I am wondering whether we need to renovate or move or just adapt what we have. We have ... 3 bedrooms (one is quite small) a medium size living/dining room which also houses our computer and tv smallish kitchen with no room for table one small bathroom with separate toilet. We lived in a house like yours last year. My teen stayed in her small room nearly all the time and never had friends over, and you can forget about a sleepover. It depends on your town & weather how "stuck" you are ... we lived in a village with literally nothing to do but look at the sunset, and it was too cold/dark/wet to go outside most of the time. I'd say we all went a little crazy. Before that house, we lived in a similar house that did have a small upstairs bonus room. The layout of the house was such that she could have a sleepover downstairs while we relocated everyone else upstairs. This year we live in a huge house. DD still stays in her room whenever she is home (she goes to PS), but her room is easily twice the size of her old one, with room for her own little art studio. She has a workstation but does homework on her bed. We also have a full basement that is mostly a rec room (couches, TV, game systems, board games, etc.) It even has a little fridge and microwave down there. She has friends over often, and they head straight downstairs. She's had sleepovers in her bedroom and in the basement. If we have to move again, I will be hard pressed to go back to a little house. I know other people do it ... but with our weather and opportunities, it's just too small and crowded. Teens need some space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you have teenagers or young adults still at home can you please ...... 1. Briefly describe your house 2. Tell me where your kids entertain, hang out, use technology, do their schoolwork etc 3. Share with me how you have adapted your house to suit your kids as they move into adulthood. I would love some tips! We have two preteens at the moment but I am wondering whether we need to renovate or move or just adapt what we have. We have ... 3 bedrooms (one is quite small) a medium size living/dining room which also houses our computer and tv smallish kitchen with no room for table one small bathroom with separate toilet. 1. House is huge. Main den and den in basement. 2. Kids hang out mainly in kitchen, den, and bedrooms. 3. We haven't done anything to adapt to the kids getting older (as far as the house goes). At the moment, the basement den is a mess from a flood in the kitchen and boxes from moving that are waiting for a yard sale. The kids have an xbox down there that they do use. When they have friends over, dh and I usually go hang out in our bedroom and let the kids have the kitchen and upstairs den. It's kinda nice to cozy up with dh in our own little space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I have often thought about whether my dc would continue to entertain in their bedrooms as they got older. I like the idea of their bedrooms being private and having their friends hang out in the living room but our computer is in there and I am on it a fair bit with my paid work, homeschool stuff , paying bills etc ... I guess I could leave the space when their friends are there but that could be a bit of a pain for me. Also, at the moment when kids come over their Moms come over too and we sit and chat in the living room so the kids go off and play in the bedrooms. (Maybe Moms don't hang around as much when the kids are older; they just drop off and go?) I have thought of decorating their rooms as mini living rooms with maybe a day bed (or similar) to minimise the bedroom look? Has anyone done this? My kids do some entertaining in their bedrooms. If the friend is of the opposite s$x, we just have them leave the door open. Moms definitely do not hang around when the kids come over. In fact, the kids usually drive themselves over. I've never met most of their parents. You very well may find that you have a second computer or laptop when your kids get older. The kids end up needing one to use a lot for school. That might allow you to work in your room on stuff while the kids have the den. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I have two adults (22 and 19) and one 12 year old. My 19 year old lives at school and is only home on vacations or the occasional weekend. We have 4 bedrooms upstairs (although the master is on it's own level), a living room, large family room, 3 bathrooms, eat-in kitchen and finished basement. We do our schoolwork at the kitchen table. The PC is in the family room with the screen facing the seating area. Our kids entertain in their bedrooms (decent sized), the family room/kitchen, the finished basement or (when it's warm) our backyard patio area or our front porch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 1 floor (basement is laundry and storage- unusable at the moment for play/guests, but could be if I'd haul out all the clutter.) 3BR: 12 x 12 w/bathroom: DH & me, 10 x 12 - SweetChild & BabyBaby, & 10 x 10 - Diamond. Livingroom: approx. 12x16, which includes the entryway- which is a door on one wall and walk straight through tot he kitchen/hallway. Kitchen: 14x16, no dining room. One small full bath off the hall for girls & guests. Younger girls room is too small to have friends in- well, with two beds two dressers and two bookshelves there just sin;t room. Diamond has had a bunch of girls in her room- but it gets tight. Not much space, but we have fun when people come over. My rule is: if the plan was for a friend to come over and watch a specific movie, they may have the living room and sisters must occupy themselves elsewhere. If the friend is just hanging out and they decide to watch a movie, then all are welcome in the living room. The house is too small to keep everyone separate the entire time, but specific plans made ahead of time are honored. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Hasn't been an issue for us with my two. If friends come over they can either go to the bedrooms (doors open no matter what gender anyone is) or they are in the living room or they are outside. I haven't had problems with the teens not wanting to be around me. I do my normal thing and quite often the teens gravitate to me or ask me questions or my opinion to pull me into their conversations. This is with visitor teens as well as my teen and tween. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you have teenagers or young adults still at home can you please ...... 1. Briefly describe your house 2. Tell me where your kids entertain, hang out, use technology, do their schoolwork etc 3. Share with me how you have adapted your house to suit your kids as they move into adulthood. I would love some tips! We have two preteens at the moment but I am wondering whether we need to renovate or move or just adapt what we have. We have ... 3 bedrooms (one is quite small) a medium size living/dining room which also houses our computer and tv smallish kitchen with no room for table one small bathroom with separate toilet. The house we're in at the moment is about 1400 square feet. We have three bedrooms, a small front room we use for both dining and school stuff, a very small kitchen and a nice-sized living room, We have two full baths, one in the master bedroom and one in the hall near the two smaller bedrooms. There is also a large-ish backyard, in which we've put a canopy/screened thing with a table and six chairs. I have two teens, 18 and almost 15. My daughter (18) spends most of her life either away from home or in her room. She uses her laptop heavily for internet, music and entertainment, and it travels around the house with her. She is done with school and will likely be moving out on her own within the next year. At the moment, most of her social life revolves around theatre and takes place not here. When she does have a friend spend the weekend or a few days, they mostly hang out in her room, although they will come out and watch movies and such on the big TV in the living room after everyone else goes to bed. My son spends less time in his room and is more likely to have people over to the house more often. His desktop computer lives in the dining/school room. He is less enthralled with the internet than is his big sister, but does play a couple of games online, use Facebook and e-mail to chat with friends and do research for various projects. Most of his schoolwork is online now, too. He uses his cell phone for lots of texting and his iPod for music. He maintains a pretty busy schedule outside the house, too, but a free afternoon or weekend day might find him puttering in the backyard, playing on his computer or watching a movie or playing Wii with his dad. When he has friends over, they are about equally likely to be in the backyard or in the living room. Things we did intentionally when we moved into this house were making sure both the front room and the living room at the back of the house could be used for teen hang-out space. So, if my son and his friends want to do some gaming, they can be at the dining table in the front room, while we retire to the living room. If they want the TV, we can go hang out up front. Also, the canopy/screen thing in the yard has become very popular whenever the weather permits being outside. They seem to really love being separate from us and having the run of the yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 we have a family room which closes off from rest of the house and has our only tv in there. When our teens have friends over, they are usually in there. We also have 2 year round sun rooms and a living room so plenty of space. Dc's bedrooms are about 10x12. SOmetimes dd will have her best friend in her room if they are playing with make up, hair, etc. Ds only has his friends in the family room (his choice) not in his bedroom. our house is 2200 sq. ft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 We bought a bigger house. At one point we realized that we would have 5 adult sized people in the house along with us and there was just No Room. We also realized that some may not be able to move out until later, and so we had to plan for that room, too. It got to a point where we were wasting money because we had to live a certain way within that space, like not shopping in bulk, not cooking from scratch, no preserving food, not sewing as much...space was the economy we had to live by. Teens are allowed to entertain but only in public spaces of the house. Period. In the summer, entertaining is high because we have a pool and even when they entertain, they're out there. Even until after dark, because there are lights in the pool. So, we went from a 1000 sqft contemporary with a large open floor plan, to a huge old 5000 sqft Victorian with nooks and crannies so that people can have privacy all over the place, a larger kitchen, a pantry, and lots of public space for people to entertain in. We'll also eventually be renovating the attic and moving more bedrooms up there (they are there already, but the plaster is falling down). My older kids love to hang with the adults, we really enjoy eachother's company, so we al kind of congregate together no matter what. I can buy in bulk, can to my hearts content, I have room to sew what I need for them, two fridges and freezer space in the basement. We can keep clothes to pass down because I have room to store them. Stuff like that matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 My kids entertain wherever is appropriate. sometimes in the family room - that's where kid toys are. sometimes in the basement which houses a theater/computer room - more for YA kids. they will also come to the kitchen in search of food. their friends will also visit with us in family/living/kitchen. 2dd (broke grad student) lives elsewhere as she likes to have dinner parties and doesn't want parents or dudeling around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morningcoffee Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 Could you move your office into your bedroom? I don't have any of my important stuff in the living room, as we have nosy relatives. We could move the computer in my bedroom. In fact, as the kids get older I can imagine us all having our own laptops and not having a fixed computer in any one spot. At the moment I want the computer in a more public space so I can monitor their access to the internet. I'm not sure at what ages I will let them have internet access in their rooms. Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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