Need advice for living simply

[A home for their hearts]

I'm overwhelmed to put it lightly. With 5 kids in the house it just feels like the walls are closing in on me. There is always something to clean, someone to teach, a diaper that needs changing, a child that needs guiding, toys that need to be stepped on. I'm almost to the point where I just can't take it anymore. I've reached my boiling point. Everyday I feel like running outside and screaming, maybe I should! I think a big part of my problem is the constant messes around the house. My ds2 is constantly making messes. Instead of playing with the toys in his small toy box he dumps them out and drags them all over the place. As soon as I pick them up he is dumping them out again. I love the idea of only allowing my kids to have a couple of toys, how clean our house would be in they did! I'm not even going to start on their bedrooms! I don't know why I let it bother me so much but it just does. I need a solution. Any suggestions? How do those of you with big families cope? Do you have clean houses? I love to read any good books suggestions?

[Mergath]

We don't have a big family (unless you factor in the furry members) but I do try to live simply. I read Simplicity Parenting and got a lot out of it. After I finished it, one of the first things I did was take something like half of dd's toys (and she didn't have a huge amount to begin with) and box them up in the closet. Then I picked a good selection of favorite and seasonal books for her shelf, and boxed up and stored the rest. It really helped with clutter, and she didn't even notice they were gone.

 

I really recommend that book. It has a lot of good insights in it, regardless of family size.

[Soror]

I have an 8 yo, 5yo, 3yo and newborn. My house stays clean. The most important helps to me are : (1) the kids are expected to help daily and clean up after themselves (2) ruthless decluttering- I don't keep a lot of toys (or anything else) around, the toys stay in their room and if they cannot keep them clean then they have too much then I will clear them out or they can and (3) several little cleaning bursts throughout the day so nothing is ever too messy. I try to keep my house in a way which makes it easy to keep clean and stay clean with as little effort as possible. I've worked on establishing routines to keep everything done.

[A home for their hearts]

I have an 8 yo, 5yo, 3yo and newborn. My house stays clean. The most important helps to me are : (1) the kids are expected to help daily and clean up after themselves (2) ruthless decluttering- I don't keep a lot of toys (or anything else) around, the toys stay in their room and if they cannot keep them clean then they have too much then I will clear them out or they can and (3) several little cleaning bursts throughout the day so nothing is ever too messy. I try to keep my house in a way which makes it easy to keep clean and stay clean with as little effort as possible. I've worked on establishing routines to keep everything done.

 

 

Could you explain how you keep you house that makes it easy to keep clean?

[mommymilkies]

We have a smallish house and 5 kids. Plus 5 cats and a dog! I feel your pain. Honestly, our house is more manageable the smaller it is. I allow my kids only a certain allotment of space. Any toys outside of that (besides community toys such as a punching bag) I am free to give away. They help me every few months go through stuff and donate a bunch to Salvation Army. I almost never keep stuff for yard sales. I know I don't have the time or patience in dealing with strangers, so I just dump it off to donate it. The sooner it's out of here, the better.

 

I am a ruthless declutterer except for art supplies and books. If it's on the floor when I sweep and nobody comes to claim it and get it before I toss it, it's gone. We ALL participate in a 15 minute clean up at night before bed. I put on ~15 minutes of loud music and they have to continuously work that whole time-if there's nothing to pick up, I give them jobs like cleaning sinks and tables or putting away laundry. I also pick a kid (usually the whiniest about helping) to help me do the dishes after dinner every night. They rinse/dry what doesn't go in the dishwasher. Plus they all have their own chores. Feeding/walking pets, unloading dishwasher, unloading dishwasher silverware, cleaning and setting the dinner table, etc.

 

We used to have a "toys in your room only" rule, but now we have a Library/Playroom, so they venture out there, and my youngest doesn't really have her own space, so her toys are in the living room. She has a hamper of stuffed toys & dolls, a doll stroller, and some wood cubbies (I made) with her board books, stackers, wood train, jack in the box, basket of shells, and duplos.

 

The Legos are our biggest problem. My mom got us a big trunk at Goodwill, and they are supposed to keep all Legos in that box or on the lego sheets on the Lego table that they trunk goes under. *snort*

[Elizabeth in MN]

I agree - have a day when you and all the kids clean up the toys. Throw out what is broken, give away what the kids don't want, and put away half the toys to be rotated out every few months.

[msjones]

I only have two kids, but have a small house.

 

Get rid of stuff. And then do that again about a month later. And keep doing it as part of your housework routine. Stuff is the problem.

 

I like the term "ruthless decluttering."

 

I don't keep anything that doesn't fit easily into a storage spot.

[Dory]

I declutter 4x a year (seasonal). I get rid of a lot at that point but there's always some things that I am not sure about so I box them and put them in my closet. Next cleaning time if they haven't been needed yet I put a mark in the box. The next cleaning time after that, if they still haven't been touched, I get rid of it. I also circulate my youngest ds's toys. That way he never has too many and yet it always feels new and fun.

[lovinmomma]

I used to have my house much more decluttered. We live in a very small house and there are often 6+ kids in here as our house tends to be the "hangout" house for all the neighborhood kids. This is something that I need to get back to. Constantly throwing away all the little crap that I find on the floor helps immensely.

[Soror]

 

 

Could you explain how you keep you house that makes it easy to keep clean?

 

 

1) Ruthless Decluttering!!!! Do it and then do it again and again. I still do it at least a couple of times a year as with young kids and such I find that there is little toys that pile up (thank you grandma) and clothes have to be gone through and switched out due to sizes and the weather. I also find that our life is not static, our interests changes, our activities change and some things are no longer needed(a few months back I cleared out all the old VHS games and some board games we weren't really playing anymore).

2)Organization- A place for everything. If you have a place to put things then you are more likely to put them away, that place needs to be neat and not overcrowded and easy to get to. Things should be put up after they are used or at least by the end of the day. If you make it easy to stay organized it is more likely to stay that way and with the least amount of effort.

3) Ingrained habits and routines in the kids and myself. Unload the dishwasher in the am, load it during the day and run it at night. Clear your plate when your done. Put up your shoes when you get in the house. When I'm in the bathroom I look for anything that might need put up or tidied- counters or sink wiped up.

4) Everyone works together. I don't generally clean by myself, everyone pitches in and is expected to do the best job they can.

 

I think it starts with building habits and decluttering/organized. I think w/ decluttering and organizing there are 2 good approaches. You can start with the area that will be easiest (for me it is the bathroom) to get some motivation or to start with the area that is the biggest trouble spot (for me my kitchen) to lessen the work load from the start. Break it down in manageable chunks, whatever that may be.

 

I noticed in my pregnancy that I kept ending up with things on my counter and the dishes weren't being consistently done as I my energy level was greatly decreased. I had been just been running the dishwasher when it was full to save energy, which might be in the am or pm in any given day. However, with it being at different times it made it hard to establish a routine especially with my brain being tired and fried. I started running it every night, whether it was completely full or not. As a bonus now I often have room for pans and generally have very few dishes to wash by hand. On my dishes I went through and reorganized the tupperware cabbinet and suddenly it was much easier to keep them put away as I didn't have to fight to find a place to put them. I cleared out a bunch and got it back down to where they all fit easily in a designated area.

[Random]

I'm overwhelmed to put it lightly. With 5 kids in the house it just feels like the walls are closing in on me. There is always something to clean, someone to teach, a diaper that needs changing, a child that needs guiding, toys that need to be stepped on. I'm almost to the point where I just can't take it anymore. I've reached my boiling point. Everyday I feel like running outside and screaming, maybe I should! I think a big part of my problem is the constant messes around the house. My ds2 is constantly making messes. Instead of playing with the toys in his small toy box he dumps them out and drags them all over the place. As soon as I pick them up he is dumping them out again. I love the idea of only allowing my kids to have a couple of toys, how clean our house would be in they did! I'm not even going to start on their bedrooms! I don't know why I let it bother me so much but it just does. I need a solution. Any suggestions? How do those of you with big families cope? Do you have clean houses? I love to read any good books suggestions?

 

 

I like what others have said about decluttering. It sounds like you might have too much stuff.

 

But, I also want to say that when you have a 2 year old in the home, it's important to have realistic expectations. There will probably always be a mess somewhere because 2 year-olds are like that. It's a high maintenance age. Can you give your 2 year old a specific place to dump and play with toys? For instance, use a baby gate to keep the child in a particular room or area? And, make sure your 2 year-old helps you put away the toys, every time.

 

Here is what we do to help keep the house tidy:

1- Get rid of stuff. You can't be emotionally attached to stuff.

2-My kids know (after several times of me enforcing it) that if I have to clean up their messes, their stuff will end up in the trash. I know that sounds mean, and I only do this for my older children. For instance, they know they must pick up Legos before going outside to play, but if they run outside to play without picking up Legos, they are giving me permission to throw them away. For a young child, we would go check the Legos together, and then put them away together before he/she goes outside to play. Additionally, when the older kids set a good example, it's easier to train the younger children.

3-I clean with my kids. I help them with their chores and they help me with mine. We work together and they learn that way. This was very hard for me to learn because as a child, the only way my mom would let me help was by 'staying out of the way.'

4-Routines are extremely helpful for me.

 

 

Best wishes to you!

[2squared]

We are similar to the other posters. I ruthlessly declutter, and that includes decorative things. I get joy out of tossing things b/c I won't have to manage it anymore.

 

My kids are allowed to play with their toys wherever they want. We don't have rules about one toy at a time or anything like that. What we do instead is have a daily pick-up at 5:00. Each kid is assigned part of the house, and they pick up everything in their areas. Thoughout the day i pick up and put things in a laundry basket, and the kids put it all away during pick-up time. They are responsible for their rooms during this time, but their rooms are easy to pick up because they are always....ruthlessly decluttered.

 

I have a 2yo. He is in the dumping stage. Sure, it's frustrating, but I know this is just a season.

 

Other than assigned room pick-up, my kids don't have assigned chores. They know they are always available to do what I need them to do, and this system works well for us. If something needs to be done,I grab the nearest kids and have them get it done. That way I don't forget, and I don't have to wait for a scheduled time for it to get done.

[Moxie]

I think it is also important to manage what come INTO your home, especially in a big family.

Don't buy cr@ppy dollar store stuff that will just end up in the trash.

Don't get the meal that comes with the toy at a fast food joint.

Don't buy stuff without a very good reason.

I have 5 kids. My kids have 6 aunts and uncles. That is 30 new toys coming into my house for Christmas just from them!! Add Santa and Grandparents and it was just insanity. No family needs 30+ new toys in a day!! This is going to sound so mean but DH and I finally asked the aunts and uncles to stop giving us Christmas gifts. We no longer exchange with most of them and the few who insist on getting something now ask me what the FAMILY needs--a board game, a video game, etc.

 

OP, you know what you need to do. You have to get stuff out of your house. There is no other answer.

[Halcyon]

I agree with everone. Have you thought of joining our Decluttering threads? I agree with having. Less. Stuff. This is asolutely key to me, but it is harder with younger kids, for sure. But it is doable. A bin for every kid. That is it. Put the toys away in the bin at the end of the day. Read Simplicity Parenting!

[A home for their hearts]

I agree with everone. Have you thought of joining our Decluttering threads? I agree with having. Less. Stuff. This is asolutely key to me, but it is harder with younger kids, for sure. But it is doable. A bin for every kid. That is it. Put the toys away in the bin at the end of the day. Read Simplicity Parenting!

 

I have not joined the Decluttering threads, where are they?

 

I have read Simplicity Parenting, I just can't bring myself to that extreme. My dc don't really have a lot of things it's just there are so many of us so even what we have adds up quick.

 

I do declutter about every 2-3 months or so. Things just seem to miraculously appear. It doesn't seem to matter how organized I try to be things just end up everywhere. *sigh*

[natjen05]

The best thing I learned from a friend of mine was to go through and clean the kids' rooms either with or without them. Put everything where it should go and then every single night tell the kids that it is clean up time and they have 15 minutes or whatever to get everything picked up. Whatever is left on the floor will be thrown away (or put into a garbage bag to give away or whatever you want to do). You only have to do that a couple of times and they get the clue that you are serious. My 3 year old is great at getting her room picked up now because of this. It has made things so much easier. You could even do this a couple of times during the day. Set a specific time when it is "clean-up" and they have to get it done especially for the younger kids. That way they don't get overwhelmed by the amount of toys out.

 

Hopefully you find what works for your family!

[readwithem]

I don't have a big family, but we have a rule of thumb that anything that comes into the house must have a parallel item that goes out of the house.

[2squared]

 

I have read Simplicity Parenting, I just can't bring myself to that extreme. My dc don't really have a lot of things it's just there are so many of us so even what we have adds up quick.

 

 

I have 5 kids aged 10.5yo to 2yo. I get it. That's why it's really, really important that we have less stuff than a smaller family. My kids have 1 coat each season. Their 1 coat goes on their coat hook every.single.time they use their coat. They each have a drawer in the entry way for their hat, pair of gloves, socks, and things used for outside play. I keep a big basket in our entry way where they put their shoes when they come in the door. If someone forgets to use the basket, my 4yo picks up the shoes at 5:00.

 

We own 4 dinner plates, 5 salad plates, and 6 plastic plates. I have four glass bowls and 8 plastic bowls. We have 1 set of sheets for each bed and less than 1 bath towel/person.

 

 

I do declutter about every 2-3 months or so. Things just seem to miraculously appear. It doesn't seem to matter how organized I try to be things just end up everywhere. *sigh*

 

 

Do you need to work on routines? What in particular is difficult? Which room, which things? Maybe we can give you ideas.

[A home for their hearts]

 

Do you need to work on routines? What in particular is difficult? Which room, which things? Maybe we can give you ideas.

 

Yes, I think we do need to work on routines. I have to constantly remind my older two dc to do their assigned chores. The take turns loading and unloading the dishwasher, and wiping off the table/counters and swiping the kitchen floor. The trade days but I always have to say dd come do the dishes, ds come sweep the floor, they don't do it automatically which drives me crazy. I gave them each their own hamper a couple of weeks ago and told them when it's full they need to wash them. They've done ok with this although not great, I still have to remind them. A lot of reminding goes on in this house! The toys are pretty much the younger three. Toys seem to trail behind them wherever they go. My dd13 doesn't have toys but she leaves her belongings all over the house, including earings in reach of her 2 year old brother!

 

I also struggle with organizing our schoolbooks. We have so many and no where to put them all. We finally got a cabinet to hold some of our supplies.

 

I really need to pare down my dd5's clothes. She has the most as I have a cousin who is a year old than she is as well as a neighbor who has a six year old so we get hand me downs from both. dd5 has clothes coming out her ears. I think she owns 5 jackets! and multiple pairs of shoes! Things like clothes are hard for me to part with, not because I'm a hoarder but because we've had very lean times when our dc hardly have any close so I guess it's a survival instinct for me to stock pile clothes when I get the for free or next to nothing. We are ok financially now and if someone needs something we can just buy it. However we were hit with an unexpected firing a couple of years ago and we were not prepared. So there are some things that are just too hard for me to part with. Especially clothes and schoolbooks.

[2squared]

The trade days but I always have to say dd come do the dishes, ds come sweep the floor, they don't do it automatically which drives me crazy. I gave them each their own hamper a couple of weeks ago and told them when it's full they need to wash them. They've done ok with this although not great, I still have to remind them. A lot of reminding goes on in this house!

 

I think reminders are necessary until...well...until they live on their own. It's a fact of life.

 

Like I posted before, my kids don't have assigned chores. Instead we have designated chore time which is whenever I determine, but usually before meals or other desirable activities. So, I might say "#1, unload the dishwasher and #2 sweep the floor before you get your breakfast." I have them do it before I am driven crazy. I think that's key - getting to things before they are out of control or annoying.

 

I really need to pare down my dd5's clothes. She has the most as I have a cousin who is a year old than she is as well as a neighbor who has a six year old so we get hand me downs from both. dd5 has clothes coming out her ears. I think she owns 5 jackets! and multiple pairs of shoes! Things like clothes are hard for me to part with, not because I'm a hoarder but because we've had very lean times when our dc hardly have any close so I guess it's a survival instinct for me to stock pile clothes when I get the for free or next to nothing. We are ok financially now and if someone needs something we can just buy it. However we were hit with an unexpected firing a couple of years ago and we were not prepared. So there are some things that are just too hard for me to part with. Especially clothes and schoolbooks.

 

Perhaps as an intermediary step, you could box up the extra things and store them under beds, in the garage, in the basement, wherever. You would still have them, but they wouldn't be causing a problem.

[A.Balaban]

I don't know the layout of your house, and how the "flow" is in your house. For me, I don't focus on the living room because I know every day the kids will make a mess. Right now, I keep food and drinks out of there, and ask them to throw toys in toy box. I keep diapers/wipes on both floors in two central locations so it is easy for me to change diapers. We just parsed down their toys not too long ago, and we'll be doing it again in January, after Christmas.

 

I think since you have older kids, you should start trying to set up a chore routine with them. Sometimes the best thing to do is create a visual list so each kid sees what they are responsible for on a daily basis. You know, think like drill sergeant and do inspections. Good rewards are either extra electronic/media time, allowance, or something else valuable to your kid.

 

One thing that I have seen around a lot is called the "Ransom Box" where you take anything left on the floor / where it is not supposed to be / and you put it in a box. In order to get an item out of the box, the kid has to do a chore.

 

Decluttering is a long long process. My house is a wreck right now but it is slowly getting better. Look at your items and see what needs to be improved. Where does the mail go? Where do you pay bills? Where does the paper work go?

 

When you are ready to tackle the kids room, I would go room-by-room. It is important to focus on one task. I have boxes that are labeled "Put Away" (things I find that belong in other places), and "Donate" (for things I want to donate), and a Trash-bag. It is important in the beginning to empty out *everything* and sort through it. Clothing is very time intensive. It is one of the things that I am working on right now.

 

Above all, breathe. Stuff is just stuff. But the weight that it puts on us can be unbearable. Stuff is just stuff. Make a plan, and let it go. :)

[Lucy]

I'm a born messy and have learned to live with less stuff. But I don't go crazy and throw away everything. I have four kids and we have decluttered, but not to any extreme. Here is what we do: coat hooks that hold 2 jackets int he laundry room. All shoes go in their room. They do the dishes and sweeping ad wiping of the kitchen table after every meal. Right before dinner, we do a "sweep" of the house where theya ll start in the top floor and sweep through every room, putting stuff away. it takes about 15 minutes and we get to eat dinner in calm, clean house. I still have messes, still have a few things that don't have homes, but overall it no longer makes me want to sit down and cry. I've added all this structure, but i'm trying nnot to give up on being "fun mom."

[fraidycat]

I agree with the others about decluttering. Then decluttering. Then... Yep, decluttering some more!!! This year I FINALLY got my DH on the decluttering bandwagon and for the first time in probably about 6 years, I feel like my house is manageable again.

 

Here are two recent examples of HOW this has changed my life:

 

1) Last year when my family was coming for Christmas, I cleaned, organized, boxed up/hid, hauled baskets full of stuff from room to room, putting away for a MONTH before they came, then came the last minute scramble to scrub the showers, floors, wash dirty bedding. Every day I was working on getting my house ready for Christmas and to have room for all the guests to sleep, make sure the bathrooms were clean, etc. I never parked my vehicle in the garage at that house in the year that we lived there because it was full of junk.

 

This year... My family is coming for Christmas. The day before they come, I will dust, make the sure the toilets are clean and freshen the bedding. No boxes of "miscellaneous homeless crap" to find closet space for, no laundry baskets full of "miscellaneous homeless crap" to try to find homes for AND I have parked my vehicle IN the garage every day since the day we moved in. I vowed that there would always be room for that in the garage. And the house we live in now... Is at minimum about 800 sq. ft. smaller than the house we lived in last year in storage space, alone. Actual living area is comparable, but I used to have a basement, plus crawl space, plus HUGE laundry room with built in shelving. Now, no basement or crawl space and laundry room is about 1/4 the size of the last one with a small cabinet and a few drawers.

 

2) Prior to the last maybe 6-8 weeks or so, I would DIE if I had unexpected company. Just die. The house was always such a bomb - it would be so embarrassing. This past Friday when we were leaving for co-op (very informal, we just rotate houses) my truck wouldn't start. At one point in time, the decision was made that if I couldn't get the truck running by X-time, we'd just move co-op to my house. While I was dealing with the truck, I had the kids do a quick pick-up in their bedrooms just in case the kids were coming to our house, while I swiped through the kitchen, quickly doing up dishes and picking up papers off the counter. That's it. I didn't even have to run and scrub the bathrooms because my sweet DH did a full scrub down of both rooms just last weekend - ceiling to floor, tubs and all. I did get the truck running, but I could have hosted last minute, without even breaking a sweat.

 

I owe every single moment of the zen and peaceful feelings of these "events" to decluttering. Now that I have room to put things away, they get put away. Because stuff is put away, the actual CLEANING - dusting, vacuuming, toilets, sinks, showers are easy to do and get to because I don't waste all of my energy just trying to dig down to a cleared off floor, counter, etc.

 

I'm not even done yet. Well, I'll never be completely done because our lives are not static, but I'm not even completely done the first pass through the whole house and I've already experienced tremendous gains. I owe it all to my DH (he does just as much housework as me) and decluttering.

[violamama]

These are great pieces of advice.

 

If you do start decluttering more, consider starting with your master bath/bedroom. Try to make it special, clean but also comfortable and designed the way you like. THere are eleventy thousand links on pinterest for diy ways to make it yours if it isn't already.

 

I say start there because, frankly, you will love that space. When it's all set up and you have just enough stuff in each drawer, closet, night stand, you will enjoy it more and you'll use it better. That feeling will inspire you to move on to the next room. Pic the next most private room (for me that's my kids' room, then my music studio room, then our living room because we're in a small townhome).

 

Starting with my space (which I always used to leave for last) really made a difference for me last year. I'm ready to go through again and declutter part 12, but our house is much better set up than it ever has been.

[lewelma]

Get rid of 10 things every day. Every. Single. Day.

 

It could be an eraser or a book, it does not matter. But do it every day.

 

Ruth in NZ

[2squared]

For kid bedrooms, my kids are successful keeping things picked up when their drawers and bins are no more than 50% full. Any fuller than that, and it is hard to find what you want (things get dumped) and it's hard to put things away (things don't get put away). My girls have five wire bins total for their clothes, and we are very challenged to keep their clothes to a manageable level in that amount of space. But...they are happier overall if we can keep the bins 50% full.

[Tracy in Ky]

I needed this thread. Dd's room is a chronic mess. It's embarassing that I can't seem to make her keep it clean. It's a mystery. I don't know how many times we have 'unloaded' it to help it stay cleaner. It never works! lol

[Tracy in Ky]

For kid bedrooms, my kids are successful keeping things picked up when their drawers and bins are no more than 50% full. Any fuller than that, and it is hard to find what you want (things get dumped) and it's hard to put things away (things don't get put away). My girls have five wire bins total for their clothes, and we are very challenged to keep their clothes to a manageable level in that amount of space. But...they are happier overall if we can keep the bins 50% full.

 

This is a great idea! I think I will try this in Dd's room. Thank you!

[Soror]

I like that 50% rule. We don't have an exact one here but it cannot be overfull. I also understand about hand-me-downs, it is hard to get rid of them as you don't want to get rid of anything that might be needed. I just went through the girls clothing again yesterday as dd2 had gotten some for her bday a couple of weeks ago. Also, I notice that they generally only wear a few of their favorite outfits anyway. I keep dress clothes in the closet- I don't have room in their dresser- which is only 3 small drawers and it keeps it safe from the just turned 3 yo. I'd like to have a shelf system in the closet for all their clothes but it hasn't been in the budget.

[Tracy in Ky]

 

 

One thing that I have seen around a lot is called the "Ransom Box" where you take anything left on the floor / where it is not supposed to be / and you put it in a box. In order to get an item out of the box, the kid has to do a chore.

 

 

 

 

This is brilliant. I'm so glad you posted this. I think I might try it! :laugh:

[laughing lioness]

As lots of folks know we had a house fire 3 yrs ago and lost about 85% of our stuff. It was actually a relief on some levels- we had SOO much stuff- dh's parents had downsized and brought 2 trailers worth of carp to us, a friend moved and left 2 more trailers worth of stuff, we had stuff stored that we were going to "fix" (but never did because we were too busy living-kwim), etc. Our entire walk up attic and basement were stuffed with carp. I hated, but dh couldn't bear to throw anything away because we might need it, eventually, however, I couldn't use half the house in the meantime...continued frustration on my part because I need negative space around or I go a little nuts.

 

Enter the house fire. The hundreds of beannie babies- BAM- gone (Do you hear me singing the Hallelujah Chorus?). Yes, we grieved over the stuff - it was actually one of hte hardest events we've ever experienced, but having the clutter and junk gone- Oh, I am so relieved!

 

Fast forward to today- 2yrs after moving back in to our house. I have taken suburban LOADS full of stuff to SAvers, sometimes once or twice a month- maybe just a bagfull, maybe 4-5. Honestly, we haven't shopped that much; just for essentials like clothes. BUt we are continually given things, outgrow things, etc. Which is a blessing. But if I am not ON TOP OF IT, we have clutter and carp everywhere again- FAST.

 

So, we bag up stuff we don't need and take it immediatly to the burb/van. It gets dropped at Savers's next trip to town. I also have a table's worth of stuff another friend gave us- 15 Precious Moments dolls in perfect condition with boxes) that I'll sell.

 

Now- each room has a function. Whatever doesn't go with that function gets moved/tossed. We don't hang on to much for sentimental reasons- it's all gonna burn anyway. We de-clutter regularly. We limit toys to a few basics like Legos and Playmobile. And honestly, it gets better as your kids get older. Toddler are mess makers- it's the developmental age. We are organizing and tweaking spaces constantly as we get more areas of the house finished.

[Soror]

I needed this thread. Dd's room is a chronic mess. It's embarassing that I can't seem to make her keep it clean. It's a mystery. I don't know how many times we have 'unloaded' it to help it stay cleaner. It never works! lol

I have my dd5 clean her room at least 1x a day, sometimes 2x. My son who is 8 can go days quite easily as he doesn't have a younger sibling messing up and it is just easier for him as he is older, however if things get too bad for her it is too much and she loses focus. So, it could help to start with 2x daily clean-ups (lunch and supper/bedtime) until she gets in the habit of keeping it clean.

[fairfarmhand]

I started something a few weeks ago that really helped. If a kid leaves their stuff out in the house, (they have to leave the room for it to count) they owe me a job for each item left laying around. See when you have six family members if each person leaves one pair of shoes in the family room and one pair of socks, that is 24 extra items junking up the family room!!! It took my kids exactly one week to begin putting their things away.

 

When I began this, I sat down and wrote out a list of simple assignments that would be given for infractions, and that helps me think of something right away. When I am on the spot I usually can't think of anything, but having a list helps.

 

Clothing...I try to keep no more clothing than my kids will need for a week. I wash frequently enough that one week will be plenty.

 

My kids have to have the floors clear before bedtime...that's a Daddy rule. He got tired of stepping on blocks when he'd come to tuck them in at night. Sometimes, I motivate them to clean up by saying "When you're done cleaning up, we will have ice cream." IOW, I give them something to look forward to so they will be more diligent. You can also say, "If you are done by x minutes, you'll get an extra scoop!!!!""

 

I've also had a "Yes but first..." policy. When a kid would ask to play computer or watch TV, I'd day, "Yes, but first go do x and y. Then you can do the electronics."

[A home for their hearts]

For kid bedrooms, my kids are successful keeping things picked up when their drawers and bins are no more than 50% full. Any fuller than that, and it is hard to find what you want (things get dumped) and it's hard to put things away (things don't get put away). My girls have five wire bins total for their clothes, and we are very challenged to keep their clothes to a manageable level in that amount of space. But...they are happier overall if we can keep the bins 50% full.

Do you have the wire bins on some type of shelf or just on the floor? I like this idea.

 

I needed this thread. Dd's room is a chronic mess. It's embarassing that I can't seem to make her keep it clean. It's a mystery. I don't know how many times we have 'unloaded' it to help it stay cleaner. It never works! lol

My dd's room is a mess all the time too. I really don't get how none of my kids are like I was when I was a kid. My room was always neat and tidy!

 

I started something a few weeks ago that really helped. If a kid leaves their stuff out in the house, (they have to leave the room for it to count) they owe me a job for each item left laying around. See when you have six family members if each person leaves one pair of shoes in the family room and one pair of socks, that is 24 extra items junking up the family room!!! It took my kids exactly one week to begin putting their things away.

 

When I began this, I sat down and wrote out a list of simple assignments that would be given for infractions, and that helps me think of something right away. When I am on the spot I usually can't think of anything, but having a list helps.

 

Clothing...I try to keep no more clothing than my kids will need for a week. I wash frequently enough that one week will be plenty.

 

My kids have to have the floors clear before bedtime...that's a Daddy rule. He got tired of stepping on blocks when he'd come to tuck them in at night. Sometimes, I motivate them to clean up by saying "When you're done cleaning up, we will have ice cream." IOW, I give them something to look forward to so they will be more diligent. You can also say, "If you are done by x minutes, you'll get an extra scoop!!!!""

 

I've also had a "Yes but first..." policy. When a kid would ask to play computer or watch TV, I'd day, "Yes, but first go do x and y. Then you can do the electronics."

 

Love the idea of owing me a job for leaving stuff out. What is on your lists of jobs?

[fairfarmhand]

 

 

 

Love the idea of owing me a job for leaving stuff out. What is on your lists of jobs?

 

 

sweep kitchen

 

sweep dining room

 

clean baseboards in one room

 

get junk out of van

 

sweep sidewalk

 

clean porch

 

dust furniture in one room

 

organize dvd shelf

 

vacuum couch

 

vacuum stairs

 

take out trash

 

fold one load of laundry

 

vacuum one room

 

straighten bathroom

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

This thread gives me hope. :drool: I'm going to start with the rule for getting rid of ten things each day.

[hillfarm]

Lots of great advice here, but don't forget to declutter the rest of your life also, not just the physical stuff.

 

 

Sit down with your calendar and determine what activities and obligations you could skip the next time around. Imagine you were stuck home with a flat tire and couldn't go. Could they hold the event without you? Could you survive without going? I have found that one of the reasons my dd didn't get her chores done was that we were always going somewhere and she didn't have the time to do her cleaning.

 

Is it time to give up some of the children's activities that they have outgrown or no longer really enjoy. Often times these things just become habit and we focus so much on just getting there that we forget to ask ourselves why we go. Talk with your kids about this. My dh hated T-ball with a gut-wrenching passion but never told his parents because they seemed so happy and proud of his participation. They later revealed that they hated it too, but drummed up as much enthusiasm as they could because they wanted to be supportive of him.

 

Consider your dietary habits, do they also need simplified? Can you ditch some unhealthy things and replace them with healthier options? Are you cooking extra meals to accommodate those who don't like the "main" meal? Can you incorporate more one-pot meals, like soups or stews, especially for those evenings when everyone isn't eating at the same time? Would once-a-month cooking simplify your life?

 

Now onto the thinnest ice, what about education? Are you majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors? Are you leaving some things for your dc to discover on their own as mature teens or adults? (It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to cover every.single.thing I considered important in life!) Do you cling to books and reference materials that you never use anymore, that could be off blessing some other home where they would be used and cherished? Are you getting so bogged down in curriculum that you don't have enough time or flexibility for actual learning and exploration?

 

And finally, religious obligations. Are you so busy working in the nursery, volunteering to bring the snack, preparing for your Bible study, attending committee meetings, staging the Christmas play, etc. that you don't have time to actually pray, worship, or spend meditative time with God?

 

If you are truly seeking to simplify your life, don't forget to address areas other than just the physical. I "decluttered" Christmas about 5 years ago and it has been so much nicer ever since that decision. Every group/club/social organization we frequent has a party. I decided that if it was just a party for the sake of a party, we would skip it. The only ones we now attend are those that focus on the religious significance of the holiday or those focused on serving others at the event (making up food baskets, blankets for the homeless shelter, etc.) Wow! Just that made a huge difference. HTH

[natjen05]

Lots of great advice here, but don't forget to declutter the rest of your life also, not just the physical stuff.

 

 

Sit down with your calendar and determine what activities and obligations you could skip the next time around. Imagine you were stuck home with a flat tire and couldn't go. Could they hold the event without you? Could you survive without going? I have found that one of the reasons my dd didn't get her chores done was that we were always going somewhere and she didn't have the time to do her cleaning.

 

Is it time to give up some of the children's activities that they have outgrown or no longer really enjoy. Often times these things just become habit and we focus so much on just getting there that we forget to ask ourselves why we go. Talk with your kids about this. My dh hated T-ball with a gut-wrenching passion but never told his parents because they seemed so happy and proud of his participation. They later revealed that they hated it too, but drummed up as much enthusiasm as they could because they wanted to be supportive of him.

 

Consider your dietary habits, do they also need simplified? Can you ditch some unhealthy things and replace them with healthier options? Are you cooking extra meals to accommodate those who don't like the "main" meal? Can you incorporate more one-pot meals, like soups or stews, especially for those evenings when everyone isn't eating at the same time? Would once-a-month cooking simplify your life?

 

Now onto the thinnest ice, what about education? Are you majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors? Are you leaving some things for your dc to discover on their own as mature teens or adults? (It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to cover every.single.thing I considered important in life!) Do you cling to books and reference materials that you never use anymore, that could be off blessing some other home where they would be used and cherished? Are you getting so bogged down in curriculum that you don't have enough time or flexibility for actual learning and exploration?

 

And finally, religious obligations. Are you so busy working in the nursery, volunteering to bring the snack, preparing for your Bible study, attending committee meetings, staging the Christmas play, etc. that you don't have time to actually pray, worship, or spend meditative time with God?

 

If you are truly seeking to simplify your life, don't forget to address areas other than just the physical. I "decluttered" Christmas about 5 years ago and it has been so much nicer ever since that decision. Every group/club/social organization we frequent has a party. I decided that if it was just a party for the sake of a party, we would skip it. The only ones we now attend are those that focus on the religious significance of the holiday or those focused on serving others at the event (making up food baskets, blankets for the homeless shelter, etc.) Wow! Just that made a huge difference. HTH

 

 

Thank you for this! I love how you are signifying God in your life as important. Many just think that by believing and not doing is okay. I really appreciate this post. I still have to work on it, so it is uplifting that those "things" don't have to be done. Jesus should be our focus on Christmas, but in most cases it isn't.

 

Sometimes we fall back into old routines of watching too much tv, or like you said going out that our family does not have the time to do chores or things that need to be done. (me included!) So I continually work on this.

 

Thank you again! Very good advise!!!

[A home for their hearts]

Lots of great advice here, but don't forget to declutter the rest of your life also, not just the physical stuff.

 

 

Sit down with your calendar and determine what activities and obligations you could skip the next time around. Imagine you were stuck home with a flat tire and couldn't go. Could they hold the event without you? Could you survive without going? I have found that one of the reasons my dd didn't get her chores done was that we were always going somewhere and she didn't have the time to do her cleaning.

 

Is it time to give up some of the children's activities that they have outgrown or no longer really enjoy. Often times these things just become habit and we focus so much on just getting there that we forget to ask ourselves why we go. Talk with your kids about this. My dh hated T-ball with a gut-wrenching passion but never told his parents because they seemed so happy and proud of his participation. They later revealed that they hated it too, but drummed up as much enthusiasm as they could because they wanted to be supportive of him.

 

Consider your dietary habits, do they also need simplified? Can you ditch some unhealthy things and replace them with healthier options? Are you cooking extra meals to accommodate those who don't like the "main" meal? Can you incorporate more one-pot meals, like soups or stews, especially for those evenings when everyone isn't eating at the same time? Would once-a-month cooking simplify your life?

 

Now onto the thinnest ice, what about education? Are you majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors? Are you leaving some things for your dc to discover on their own as mature teens or adults? (It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to cover every.single.thing I considered important in life!) Do you cling to books and reference materials that you never use anymore, that could be off blessing some other home where they would be used and cherished? Are you getting so bogged down in curriculum that you don't have enough time or flexibility for actual learning and exploration?

 

And finally, religious obligations. Are you so busy working in the nursery, volunteering to bring the snack, preparing for your Bible study, attending committee meetings, staging the Christmas play, etc. that you don't have time to actually pray, worship, or spend meditative time with God?

 

If you are truly seeking to simplify your life, don't forget to address areas other than just the physical. I "decluttered" Christmas about 5 years ago and it has been so much nicer ever since that decision. Every group/club/social organization we frequent has a party. I decided that if it was just a party for the sake of a party, we would skip it. The only ones we now attend are those that focus on the religious significance of the holiday or those focused on serving others at the event (making up food baskets, blankets for the homeless shelter, etc.) Wow! Just that made a huge difference. HTH

Thanks for reminding me of the things in life that can cause stress! I actually don't do a lot of outside activites. We do co-op which meets once a week, we are on break now, and storytime at the library. That's all we have on our calendar for now. Dr/Dentist appointments and running to the store are what seems to throw off our days. If I could just get organized enough to do everything in one day it would be a miracle!

 

As far as homeschooling goes, we are majoring in the major things right now, that's all I have time for although I do find myself worrying a lot about what I'm not teaching them.

 

Thanks for the advice!

[A.Balaban]

Dr/Dentist appointments and running to the store are what seems to throw off our days. If I could just get organized enough to do everything in one day it would be a miracle!

 

Due to my DH's work schedule, all medical appointments are scheduled on the same day each week, except, of course, it is a sick visit or something else that can't be avoided. When DH's work schedule wasn't as restricting we struggled a lot, but I still tried to pick same day of the week for appointments. For some specialists (who are only in the office on certain days) I don't have that choice/freedom, but I still try to make it on same day.

 

I have a bunch of dentist appointments that I need to make for me and DH, and it is so overwhelming to try and schedule it all so I understand how you feel.

 

See, look, I already messed up my schedule. :001_rolleyes: Well, I tried.