Female Content and my 13yod....TMI

[Michelle O. in MO]

My 13yod had her first period last month. Because she has swim team practice six days a week, she opted to try a tampon. She was very nervous about this but gave it a go anyway. I bought her a box of Tampax Pearl Lites because they were the slimmest/smallest tampons I could find. Anyway, she got a tampon in. The problem was that she couldn't get it out. I tried coaxing her as best I could, but she still wasn't getting it out. She kept insisting it was stuck. She was beginning to look/act panicked so I offered to try to get it out. It definitely was stuck. There was a layer/membrane? of skin blocking the tampon. No matter which way I pulled the tampon (right, left, forward, backward) that membrane wouldn't budge. I had to get a q-tip and some vaseline and it took me 4-5 min. just to get it out. DD was in pain and I felt so bad.

 

Now we're fast approaching her 2nd period and she's scared to put a tampon in again. I can't say I blame her. I don't know what this membrane or skin was. I've never had any problems whatsoever with wearing tampons. I will say that by the time she got that 1st tampon in, she was on the tail end of her period and I'm wondering if it simply was too dry in there. Maybe when she went to take it out, the lining of her vaginal wall pulled down a bit as well?

 

She sees a male GP. I've posted on our local homeschool for recs for a female GP or OB/GYN, but I'd like to avoid that route if possible. Anyone have any ideas what this was? DD wants to know what it was and why it happened before trying it again.

 

Thank you all!

Michelle

[ktgrok]

Two thoughts..could be the hymen?

 

Otherwise, yes, if it is dry, it can get "stuck". My mom taught me to remove it while urinating if it felt stuck, as you relax the pelvic floor muscles while urinating, so that helps. Also, leaving it in longer (not excessively, but longer) can help.

[TammyS]

It probably was too dry, which is one of the dangers of tampons, they dry the skin out so much (by being soooo absorbent) that you can get microtears (very tiny, tiny tears that don't really even bleed) which can get infected and lead to toxic shock (or just an infection, which is annoying).

 

I don't blame her for being afraid, it would be painful.

 

Have you considered the Diva cup? It fits inside, just like a tampon, but doesn't absorb, it collects. You empty it however many times per day as necessary. It's made of silicone so will slide right out with a tub and not cause her dryness.

 

I've used one for years and love it. Having tried everything else (disposable pads, washable pads, tampons) it is the most physically comfortable, the cheapest ($40 and it last for YEARS), and I LOVE that I never have to worry about running out (which is a problem for me as I have very heavy cycles and live 1/2 from a store).

 

Good luck!

[Michelle O. in MO]

Two thoughts..could be the hymen?

 

Otherwise, yes, if it is dry, it can get "stuck". My mom taught me to remove it while urinating if it felt stuck, as you relax the pelvic floor muscles while urinating, so that helps. Also, leaving it in longer (not excessively, but longer) can help.

 

I was wondering about the hymen, but I wasn't sure if it could block a tampon.

 

Do you think if she puts a tampon in earlier in her period and leaves it in longer this would resolve the problem? I've told her I think it could and that we should at least try it one more time before taking her into the doctor. I just don't want this to get any more traumatic than it already has.

 

Thank you

[Michelle O. in MO]

It probably was too dry, which is one of the dangers of tampons, they dry the skin out so much (by being soooo absorbent) that you can get microtears (very tiny, tiny tears that don't really even bleed) which can get infected and lead to toxic shock (or just an infection, which is annoying).

 

I don't blame her for being afraid, it would be painful.

 

Have you considered the Diva cup? It fits inside, just like a tampon, but doesn't absorb, it collects. You empty it however many times per day as necessary. It's made of silicone so will slide right out with a tub and not cause her dryness.

 

I've used one for years and love it. Having tried everything else (disposable pads, washable pads, tampons) it is the most physically comfortable, the cheapest ($40 and it last for YEARS), and I LOVE that I never have to worry about running out (which is a problem for me as I have very heavy cycles and live 1/2 from a store).

 

Good luck!

 

Thank you. I've heard of this, but never used one myself. I will look into it!

[Mom22ns]

Thank you. I've heard of this, but never used one myself. I will look into it!

 

I find it much more comfortable than a tampon, but after 3 or 4 months, I still can't place it where it will work consistently. When it is in right - it is the best! I just can predict if I will be able to get it in right the next time I try.

 

I emailed you with a doctor recommendation though :).

[Tidbits of Learning]

http://www.softcup.com/

 

Walmart sells them. You can't feel them and you toss them after use.

[Michelle O. in MO]

I find it much more comfortable than a tampon, but after 3 or 4 months, I still can't place it where it will work consistently. When it is in right - it is the best! I just can predict if I will be able to get it in right the next time I try.

 

I emailed you with a doctor recommendation though :).

 

Thanks Debbie!

[happypamama]

I think I'd suggest the Diva Cup as well. I seem to recall that one of the issues with tampons is that they draw out too much moisture.

 

If she continues to have issues, I would suggest trying a midwife, as I like their generally cozier approach; the ones I've seen would probably be very good at putting a teen at ease, and they've always been particularly gentle with exams and such too.

[Adrienne_in_TX]

It sounds very much like this is an intact hymen blocking the tampon. As a teenager, I had a hole in the hymen, but it was mostly intact. A tampon string wrapped itself around and through the hole; I didn't tell my mother, but was quite panicky (and a little nauseous) getting that sorted out.

[BlueTaelon]

Brings back memories from school and the experience of many girls was they were unable to use a tampon without difficulty until they lost their virginity due to the hymen being in the way regardless of what the box of tampons says.

[Michelle O. in MO]

It sounds very much like this is an intact hymen blocking the tampon. As a teenager, I had a hole in the hymen, but it was mostly intact. A tampon string wrapped itself around and through the hole; I didn't tell my mother, but was quite panicky (and a little nauseous) getting that sorted out.

 

I can't imagine having to sort that out by yourself. I barely sorted it out for dd! :grouphug: to you!! How awful.

 

This describes closely what I saw. There was a small hole or two in this "membrane". Does the hive think a Diva Cup would avoid this problem?

 

Thanks for helping me figure this out everyone!

[Michelle O. in MO]

Brings back memories from school and the experience of many girls was they were unable to use a tampon without difficulty until they lost their virginity due to the hymen being in the way regardless of what the box of tampons says.

 

So did these girls just wear pads and wait it out? I wonder if growth/maturity help the issue. Maybe it's her age?

[ktgrok]

if it is the hymen, and it sounds like it is, she won't be able to use a tampon comfortably until it is gone. A doctor or midwife could easily take care of it for her I imagine. She'd obviously still be a virgin (some people worry about that), but would be able to use the tampons. I suggest this just because of her swim team practices and such.

[Unicorn.]

Fwiw, my dds are swimmers and they only wear pads. They remove them just before getting into the pool, and stay in the water as much as possible. Taking a cold shower or bath just before going to the pool helps too. They haven't had any issues, and so far it's working for them. hth I do know a lot of girls that just don't swim that week though.

[BlueTaelon]

So did these girls just wear pads and wait it out? I wonder if growth/maturity help the issue. Maybe it's her age?

 

 

Yep, it was interesting to hear the girls admit they couldn't use them until they dtd. I was rather surprising who had and who hadn't.

[Michelle O. in MO]

Fwiw, my dds are swimmers and they only wear pads. They remove them just before getting into the pool, and stay in the water as much as possible. Taking a cold shower or bath just before going to the pool helps too. They haven't had any issues, and so far it's working for them. hth I do know a lot of girls that just don't swim that week though.

 

Back in the day when I was exercising moderately, I noticed my period would stop during that 2 hour time frame. Then start back up shortly after. It was kind of wierd, but I always wore a tampon anyway just in case.....I wonder if this happens with other women?

 

Our swim coach has told us once dd starts her monthly cycle, she either needs to wear protection of some sort or wait it out. I suppose they have no way of checking, but I don't know what to think.

[kiana]

That's weird, I guess mine must have ruptured by itself as I was able to use them w/o difficulty starting at 11.

 

If she does try again and it gets dry and 'stuck', take a bath. It's easier to get it moist that way than with vaseline.

[Parrothead]

Playtex makes shorter tampons than Tampax. You don't want to know how I know, just take my word for it.

 

When dd started this spring she wanted to use tampons so I got her Playtex Sport. She likes them. I did tell her that on her last day she should use pads due to absorbancy issues - super dryness that makes tampons difficult to remove without feeling like it is sucking out your insides.

[Michelle O. in MO]

if it is the hymen, and it sounds like it is, she won't be able to use a tampon comfortably until it is gone. A doctor or midwife could easily take care of it for her I imagine. She'd obviously still be a virgin (some people worry about that), but would be able to use the tampons. I suggest this just because of her swim team practices and such.

 

At my age, having had a couple of kids, etc., getting a hymen snipped seems rather insignificant. Actually, I wouldn't mind running her in and getting it taken care of so we can move on and be done with it. But I think dd would have a melt down if I suggested that at this stage. I'm not ruling it out, just saying I've got to exhaust ALL other options before this one. :lol: Who knows? With dd, we might be at this option by next month.

[Bluegoat]

I can't imagine having to sort that out by yourself. I barely sorted it out for dd! :grouphug: to you!! How awful.

 

This describes closely what I saw. There was a small hole or two in this "membrane". Does the hive think a Diva Cup would avoid this problem?

 

Thanks for helping me figure this out everyone!

 

No, I would say a Diva Cup would be worse in this case - it would be just as hard to get in and out of the little hole and possibly quite uncomfortable. And if you don't take them out smoothly they can make quite a mess.

[vonfirmath]

That's weird, I guess mine must have ruptured by itself as I was able to use them w/o difficulty starting at 11.

 

I don't remember how old I was, but I used a tampon from day one with no issues. and I was still a virgin on my wedding night. Maybe it just depends on how the hymen sits in a particular girl?

[Aelwydd]

I don't remember how old I was, but I used a tampon from day one with no issues. and I was still a virgin on my wedding night. Maybe it just depends on how the hymen sits in a particular girl?

 

That, and sometimes the hymen is either only partially intact, or sometimes even entirely absent from birth. In my case, I couldn't comfortably use tampons until I took a couple of very hard falls while horse back riding, and once while water skiing--all in the same month. The trauma of the falls happened to fall partly in the, er, relevant area, and subsequently tampons were never a problem after that. :)

 

I've read that it is not uncommon for girls who are very active in sports like gymnastics, biking, horseback riding, etc., to sustain injuries to the hymen like I did. Sometimes it causes a total breach, sometimes perforations. It just depends on the girl.

[Katy]

I can't imagine how a diva or soft cup would help; it's bigger! I doubt she could even get it in.

 

I would give her the option of going to a doctor or midwife OR to wait out that week. If I were her I would wait, but I was particularly modest as a girl.

[PeacefulChaos]

I don't remember how old I was, but I used a tampon from day one with no issues. and I was still a virgin on my wedding night. Maybe it just depends on how the hymen sits in a particular girl?

 

I never could wear one. I tried a couple times in college but could always tell it was there and it was extremely uncomfortable, so I knew it wasn't in correctly.

After I got married I didn't bother trying again until recently. Now I use them without any problems, but I use them sparingly.

[TranquilMind]

I was wondering about the hymen, but I wasn't sure if it could block a tampon.

 

Do you think if she puts a tampon in earlier in her period and leaves it in longer this would resolve the problem? I've told her I think it could and that we should at least try it one more time before taking her into the doctor. I just don't want this to get any more traumatic than it already has.

 

Thank you

 

How long was she leaving it in?

 

You are right, you can't just rip them out when they are freshly installed, so to speak. She should be able to use them on heavier days and pull them right out when they have something in them.

 

Have you tried Playtex? They have a junior size that is really narrow.

[TranquilMind]

I don't remember how old I was, but I used a tampon from day one with no issues. and I was still a virgin on my wedding night. Maybe it just depends on how the hymen sits in a particular girl?

 

Me too. I used a tampon from the beginning. Is she reading the direction, plopping one leg up on the toilet and putting it in at the proper angle? That's really important.

[Katy]

Me too. I used a tampon from the beginning. Is she reading the direction, plopping one leg up on the toilet and putting it in at the proper angle? That's really important.

 

From a medical perspective, it's one of several completely normal variations for a hymen to have only one or two very small holes. There have even been cases of girls who had none, which required medical intervention.

 

ETA: I used to work in nursing on a gynecology med/surg floor.

[somo_chickenlady]

http://www.softcup.com/

 

Walmart sells them. You can't feel them and you toss them after use.

 

I would suggest these. I recently started using them after a lifetime of using tampons (can't stand the feeling of pads) and I don't think I will ever go back. I can't feel it at all, and no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome like with tampons.

[butterflymommy]

If she had trouble with a tampon I wouldn't recommend a softcup or diva cup. The cups have no string and you have to fish around up there to get it out. And in terms of width there is more to cram in than the smallest tampon on the market. I've had 7 kids and still find it scary getting those softcups in.

 

I agree with others, the hymen is blocking it. It might stretch or break with enough tampon use or you could see an OB/ midwife to snip it.

[kitten18]

If she had trouble with a tampon I wouldn't recommend a softcup or diva cup. The cups have no string and you have to fish around up there to get it out. And in terms of width there is more to cram in than the smallest tampon on the market. I've had 7 kids and still find it scary getting those softcups in.

 

I agree with others, the hymen is blocking it. It might stretch or break with enough tampon use or you could see an OB/ midwife to snip it.

:iagree:

 

I would have her try again (if she's willing) when her flow is heavier and also have a really good lubricant (astroglide is much more slippery than vaseline) on hand to help.

 

I couldn't get a tampon in until I was in college.

[butterflymommy]

:iagree:

 

I would have her try again (if she's willing) when her flow is heavier and also have a really good lubricant (astroglide is much more slippery than vaseline) on hand to help.

 

I couldn't get a tampon in until I was in college.

 

Yes, I forgot to mention lubricant! Astroglide is good despite the sleazy sounding name. I still have to use lubricant to get a tampon in.

[SunnyDays]

Oh, that poor girl. I'm another one who used tampons from my first period with no problems, I had no idea so many people did have difficulty.

 

I don't like the idea of going in the pool with your period but without protection. If the flow were to suddenly get heavier or she has a bit of a "gush"... well, that's potentially unhygenic and a girl may also die of embarassment!! ;)

 

The best solution sounds like either she needs to sit out those few days, or if she gets tired of that, a visit to the doctor. And yes, a cup would be MUCH worse than a tampon to insert or remove in this situation. Poor thing, hope you get something figured out. :grouphug:

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I was wondering about the hymen, but I wasn't sure if it could block a tampon.

 

I have never understood how your husband's...teA spout broke the hymen, but tampons don't? :confused:

[LucyStoner]

I don't remember how old I was, but I used a tampon from day one with no issues. and I was still a virgin on my wedding night. Maybe it just depends on how the hymen sits in a particular girl?

 

There is a lot of variation. Some girls are born with little visible hymen tissue. Many girls never run into any issues with their hymen because it is often torn during totally non sexual activities.

[IsabelC]

About the hymen:

For reasons that remain unclear, female babies are born with membranes surrounding their vaginal openings. Most hymens are doughnut shaped and open in the center. Newborns' hymens tend to be prominent and thick. But as the years pass, most hymenal tissue thins and the opening widens. During childhood most hymenal tissue wears away as a result of washing, walking, athletics, self-exploration, and masturbation, though little bits may remain around the vaginal opening, particularly in the area closest to the anus (hymenal tags).

 

The intact hymen almost never covers the entire vagina. If it did, virgin girls could not menstruate. However, the opening may not look like a doughnut hole. In some women, it has a ladder-like appearance with bands of tissue extending from one side to the other. In others, it resembles a honeycomb with multiple small openings. And in rare cases, an estimated one in 200, the hymen's single opening is so small that fingers, tampons, and erections may not be able to enter comfortably or at all (imperforate hymen). For women with imperforate hymens, a simple surgical procedure snips away the excess tissue. But in most women, by adolescence, any remaining hymenal tissue offers no significant impediment to using tampons or enjoying pain-free intercourse.

[Jpoy85]

I would recommend a soft cup or diva cup.

 

I dont know about a soft cup, but a diva cup I can give advice. You can use the different folds to find which one works best for inserting it. If you folded it right it wouldnt be any bigger than a tampon.

 

as for taking it out- you bear down like you need to poo and grab on to the stem at the end of the cup and pull it out.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Thank you, Hotdrink. I don't remember health/s3x ed covering that. But then, I was so embarrassed hearing that sort of thing in a classroom of boys and girls that I didn't pay attention.

[somo_chickenlady]

If she had trouble with a tampon I wouldn't recommend a softcup or diva cup. The cups have no string and you have to fish around up there to get it out. And in terms of width there is more to cram in than the smallest tampon on the market. I've had 7 kids and still find it scary getting those softcups in.

 

I agree with others, the hymen is blocking it. It might stretch or break with enough tampon use or you could see an OB/ midwife to snip it.

 

I had trouble with tampons when I first started using them. I would still recommend the softcup. Just b/c tampons are most widely known of and used, does not make them the best for teens. You never know, she could try it and like it a lot better. You pinch it, and it is just a narrow as a tampon to put in, and it is not hard to use at all. It isn't like it goes in very far (so no real "fishing" for it, you just reach in with one finger and grab it. I think girls need to be aware of their bodies in this way. I would also recommend this product over tampons, b/c you don't have to worry about a girl forgetting about a tampon or leaving it in for too long and getting TSS.

[Mom-ninja.]

The idea of getting into a pool with nothing was and is not doable in my world.

 

OP, I know your dd doesn't want to but I'd take her to a doctor or midwife.

Edited October 12, 2012 by Kleine Hexe

[SweetandSimple]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned Sea Pearls: http://www.jadeandpearl.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=18

 

I adore them, and I've tried everything!

 

You wet them before you put them in, so there is no dryness... very comfortable. Much easier to put in than the cups.

 

Also, they are so squishy and flexible, that you can kind of customize where to put it. Your daughter could keep it a little lower, as long as it was comfortable.

 

The absorbency is a little less than tampons, so you have to be on top of changing it, but I think that it would be great for swim practice as long as she changed it right before.

 

You would definitely want the teeny size. It may not look teeny when it comes in the mail, but remember, they squish up much smaller because it is a sponge.

 

Good luck!

[allymom]

I think you've got a lot of good responses already. I just wanted to throw out one other alternative option to try that won't dry her out. It's less absorbant and would need to be cleaned out often, but the Jade & Pearl Sea Sponge tampons are wonderful, very soft and squishy, very easy to get in and out, they won't pull extra moisture from the vaginal wall. And I find them far easier to position correctly than the diva cup, which I've had no success with personally. But I know many people who love the diva cup. Here's a link: http://www.jadeandpearl.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=18

[FeFe]

Other than going to the doctor I might suggest switching brands. I had two terrible experiences with the Tampax brand in my teen years. There was a horrible pinching. My best friend had the same problem with Tampax. I never have had that problem with any other brand.

 

I'm so sorry you DD (and you) had to go through that.

 

ETA: Completely off topic but I was fighting to stay awake so I could watch the debate so I came here as I always do. Because of that and this thread, I just spent $50 on sea sponges and cloth panty-liners! :) Talk about random impulse buying!

Edited October 12, 2012 by FeFe

[Kathryn]

Oh, that poor girl. I'm another one who used tampons from my first period with no problems, I had no idea so many people did have difficulty.

 

I don't like the idea of going in the pool with your period but without protection. If the flow were to suddenly get heavier or she has a bit of a "gush"... well, that's potentially unhygenic and a girl may also die of embarassment!! ;)

 

The best solution sounds like either she needs to sit out those few days, or if she gets tired of that, a visit to the doctor. And yes, a cup would be MUCH worse than a tampon to insert or remove in this situation. Poor thing, hope you get something figured out. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: There is no way I could have gone swimming without protection as a teen. And it does sound like hymen tissue. Mine was gone long before I started my period. I remember noticing one day in elementary school that things were different down there. I freaked out and called my mom at work because I thought something was wrong with me.

[Michelle O. in MO]

Oh my goodness everybody! Thank you so much for your help, suggestions, and support. I'm surprised at my age that I'm still learning new things about the female body, but there you have it. I've definitely been educated and enlightened in this thread.

 

After all the various descriptions of the hymen, I'm pretty convinced (like the rest of you) that that is what we're dealing with here. After talking with dd, she's going to try a tampon (different brand) one more time. If we're still facing this problem, and I pray we're not but we've got to be realistic here, she and I'll have a prayerful talk about going to see the doctor.

 

Thank you all!!!

 

:grouphug: to everybody!!!

 

Michelle

 

I also want to quickly add that the Diva cups and sea sponges look very interesting. I might try one of those products for myself. I don't think dd is psychologically ready to tackle anything without a string yet though. Tampons are the limit of her comfort zone at this point.

Edited October 12, 2012 by Michelle O. in MO

[IsabelC]

Have you had a look at the menstrual cups that are available?

They come with a stem that can be used to help with removing it, although many women find that they don't need this and end up snipping it off after a while.

I think a cup is great for very young women because apart from being healthier than tampons, it gets them to become more comfortable with their bodies.

(Although after your dd's unfortunate experience, I can totally understand if she'd rather leave it for a while!)

 

As far as the hymen thing is concerned, your daughter should be able to figure out whether that's an issue herself just by feeling carefully and/or having a look with a mirror.