PrairieSong Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 My MIL's ovarian cancer from four years ago returned. She doesn't have ovaries now, but it spread to her lymph nodes in her abdomen. She started feeling a little ill the third week of September and was running a fever of 101. We knew something was up when she drove herself to the ER on a Sunday night. She is NOT a wimp or a complainer. On Tuesday two weeks ago she went into the hospital. She has run a fever every day and has become progressively weaker and less alert. She is on oxygen and TPN IV nutrition, since she eats hardly anything. At first they were running all kinds of tests...blood, urine, spinal fluid, CT scans, x-rays, etc. They could find no infection but did see that her lymph nodes were somewhat enlarged. They did exploratory surgery and confirmed it was cancer. They gave her chemo, a weaker type since she is too ill to tolerate the strongest kind, but it isn't working. Her liver isn't functioning properly, and she is still feverish and extremely weak. She is "out of it" much of the time, appears to be sleeping, with a few periods of more alertness. She talks a little, but it's hard to understand her. Today they are taking her from the large hospital back to her small town hospital to give her comfort care. We are all so, so sad. We don't want her to suffer, and we know she is ready to go to heaven, but we will miss her more than I can express. My MIL is a jewel. She has never, not once in the 30+ years I have known her, ever said a harsh word to me or ever made me feel "not good enough". She is caring and interested in our lives, and LOVES to see us and her grandchildren, yet she does not meddle or tell us how to live. She shows us by example. She is hard-working and prayerful, and has a great sense of humor. Until her illness, she was a very active 78yo, working a couple days a week (5 hour shifts), was in several card playing groups, lived alone, drove, was active at church, helped many, many people, and touched many lives. She is kind but not a doormat. Not long ago a man (she knew him) offered to take all the scrap metal from their farm (she lives in town now) and sell it, giving her a hefty share of the profits. She said OK, and he took the metal in but she never heard from him. She kept trying to contact him, and finally got a judgment against him in small claims court. I think it was about $1500 that he owed her. He probably figured an older lady wouldn't put up a fight. Ha. A really funny story...warning...adult content. She was working at a travel center on the interstate. A man and woman came in for a bit and then left. She heard their voices outside, then kept hearing laughter. She looked out into the parking lot and could see two pairs of legs dangling out the side of the car door...and let's just say the car wasn't perfectly still. Sorry, I'm not trying to be crude, but Grandma telling this story was the funniest thing ever! We were rolling. I'm sorry this got so long! I just needed to "talk". We are sad to lose such a treasure of a mom and grandma, but so blessed we have had her in our lives!!! She has passed on a legacy of faith and love to us and now it is up to us to carry on the torch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I'm so sorry. It has to be just devastating to watch a loved one in that condition.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug: I am so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful lady. Your family will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Thanks for sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplyme99 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug: She sounds like a real gem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 Thank you, everyone! The amazing thing is, she has not been in much pain. When we ask, she always says "no" or shakes her head. They have sometimes given her a small dose of morphine in the evening if she is restless. I pray she does not suffer much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug: She sounds like a real gem. She is!!! She is one of the most amazing people I have ever known in my life. And she and my FIL raised five wonderful kids. I am married to their oldest son, who is a WONDERFUL, loving husband and father. I am truly grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug:I'm sorry.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 A really funny story...warning...adult content. She was working at a travel center on the interstate. A man and woman came in for a bit and then left. She heard their voices outside, then kept hearing laughter. She looked out into the parking lot and could see two pairs of legs dangling out the side of the car door...and let's just say the car wasn't perfectly still. Sorry, I'm not trying to be crude, but Grandma telling this story was the funniest thing ever! We were rolling. We lost my MIL in February, and She sounds a lot like yours. She too, was a gem. And I married the ONLY child. One of my favorite mementos from my MIL is a postcard. from Intercourse, PA. With a picture of Amish buggies on it. She made SH stop because of the name of the town. And then thought it was a hoot because it was Amish. She figured they had no idea what the name really meant.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 A really funny story...warning...adult content. She was working at a travel center on the interstate. A man and woman came in for a bit and then left. She heard their voices outside, then kept hearing laughter. She looked out into the parking lot and could see two pairs of legs dangling out the side of the car door...and let's just say the car wasn't perfectly still. Sorry, I'm not trying to be crude, but Grandma telling this story was the funniest thing ever! We were rolling. We lost my MIL in February, and She sounds a lot like yours. She too, was a gem. And I married the ONLY child. One of my favorite mementos from my MIL is a postcard. from Intercourse, PA. With a picture of Amish buggies on it. She made SH stop because of the name of the town. And then thought it was a hoot because it was Amish. She figured they had no idea what the name really meant.:D :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Patty, I am so sorry. It must be so difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 Patty, I am so sorry. It must be so difficult. Thank you. It is, but as I said, we are so very thankful for her. She has been anointed by the priest and has received communion (except when she was too out of it to receive), and all her life she lived her faith, and live life to the fullest. If you look in my sig line at the photo of my kids, oldest daughter on the left is in a habit. She knows her grandma's prayers are a big reason for her religious vocation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom26 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 So sorry to hear about your MIL but what a beautiful tribute you wrote about her...what a gift she has given to your family and what a comfort to know you will one day be together again.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 We lost my MIL in February, and She sounds a lot like yours. She too, was a gem. And I married the ONLY child. One of my favorite mementos from my MIL is a postcard. from Intercourse, PA. With a picture of Amish buggies on it. She made SH stop because of the name of the town. And then thought it was a hoot because it was Amish. She figured they had no idea what the name really meant.:D :grouphug: Cin, I am sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Sounds like you have your share of memories to treasure as well! I love the story of the postcard from Intercourse! Perhaps when the town was named the word wasn't used the way it is mainly used today, but...well...the Amish haven't died out yet. ;) Thank God for wonderful mothers-in-law! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Really sorry :( That's really sad and I just hate cancer!! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 You sound as if you know that you are very, very lucky to have such a wonderful MIL. You have been blessed. :) So sorry that you are going through this! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Thank you, everyone! The amazing thing is, she has not been in much pain. When we ask, she always says "no" or shakes her head. They have sometimes given her a small dose of morphine in the evening if she is restless. I pray she does not suffer much. My mother died from ovarian cancer. Her passing was very peaceful and easy for her, and the hospital staff took great care of her. I don't think your MIL will suffer either. I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I'm so very sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug:She sounds like such a wonderful person. I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.:grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I'm so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry. Your MIL sounds wonderful. Keep telling these fabulous stories within your family, and keep her with you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug: Wow *I* love her. I sense you will all keep her alive and shining with the stories and memories of her. She sounds like a dear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 :grouphug: Wow *I* love her. I sense you will all keep her alive and shining with the stories and memories of her. She sounds like a dear. Awww, thank you! A few years ago one of my husband's sisters had a booklet called "Grandma's Memories" or something like that. It was a book of questions that grandma/grandpa could answer. Where did you go to school? What did you do for fun? Did you have electricity? What chores did you do? How did you celebrate holidays? etc. My SIL recorded all of Grandma's responses and typed them up. She had bound copies made for each of the children and grandchildren and included many photos. These will be a real treasure now!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Like Diane, I also lost my mother to ovarian cancer three years ago. She was only 67 though, so we had less time with her than we would have wished. My mother died at home, at peace, secure in her faith, with her sister and my father holding her hands. I am so sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I am so sorry. It sounds like she will be leaving behind an amazing legacy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry, Patty. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I just saw your update on the previous thread. I'm so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Awww, thank you! A few years ago one of my husband's sisters had a booklet called "Grandma's Memories" or something like that. It was a book of questions that grandma/grandpa could answer. Where did you go to school? What did you do for fun? Did you have electricity? What chores did you do? How did you celebrate holidays? etc. My SIL recorded all of Grandma's responses and typed them up. She had bound copies made for each of the children and grandchildren and included many photos. These will be a real treasure now!!! This is fantastic. I wish I would have done something like this with my mom, when she was able. What a treasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm sorry, too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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