Help me accept something about myself

[PeacefulChaos]

I have to wear my glasses. :(

I've been wearing contacts for years. I got glasses when I went into 2nd grade, bifocals in fourth, back to regular glasses in middle school, and then I moved to contacts during Christmas break of my freshman year of high school. (1996 - coincidentally, at the same time I began wearing a little bit of makeup and changed my hairstyle a bit, and when I went back to school in January a lot of people didn't recognize me.)

I've never slept in them, always taken good care of them, etc. I did wear them every day.

Fast forward to last year - August, to be exact. One of my contact lenses scratched my cornea and gave me some major problems for a few weeks. :( I did go back to wearing them, but not as often, around the end of October - maybe once or twice, at the most three times a week.

Everything had changed at that point - I could feel the contacts again, more than I had ever been able to feel them in my eyes. It still wasn't awful, though, and wasn't painful or anything.

Then, this summer, I got pinkeye. :glare: I'm positive it was from my contact lens somehow, because it was just obvious - I noticed it being more uncomfortable/ redder than usual one week, didn't wear them for a week, and when I put it back in it felt the same and I had an eye infection the next day. I swore them off at that point - I was tired of my contacts giving me problems. Not to mention they told me I still needed to replace my contacts every month, despite only wearing them twice a week. I have a hard time imagining paying $10/ month for contacts that I will wear approximately 8 times during that month. I get what they are saying, but it just seems like a total waste of money to me.

So here I am. If you have made it this far into my pity party, thank you. :tongue_smilie:

My glasses make me feel ugly. They negatively affect my hair (the way I like to have my bangs won't work with glasses). I feel like doing my makeup the way I normally would - eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara - is a waste of time with glasses because I've looked at myself with and without those things with my glasses on and it looks exactly the same. So I've only been doing eyeshadow instead.

My self esteem is in the tank. I know it's incredibly vain of me and that there are people out there with real problems, but I can't help it. I actually am looking at the timing and wondering if this doesn't relate to my weight gain over the last year or so.

 

I've considered LASIK but we would be talking $3000+ total. While that may be possible with a tax refund, for me to do it this coming year would mean choosing between LASIK and getting rid of a lot of medical bills. :confused: I know what the more responsible option is, and would have a hard time choosing LASIK over it. That would mean waiting at least another year, but then who knows what could happen before then? There could be things then that a more important, too. Sigh....

 

Oh, and changing contact lenses won't change anything. I tried several different brands beforehand settling with biofinity. :)

 

Anyway, I don't know what I'm asking for. I'm just... Unhappy. :(

[Unicorn.]

:grouphug:

[elegantlion]

I've worn glasses since 6th grade, decades ago. I wore contacts for a while and didn't take care of them properly. I ended up having blood vessels grow in the back of my eye and had to go back to glasses.

 

It takes me hours to find new glasses. We can't afford Lasik. I would get rid of the medical bills before I opted for an optional surgery.

 

Then I work on getting a cool pair of glasses. I found a pair I'm surprised I liked, they make me look smarter. I would work on the self-image issue separately. I'm there too. I would love to have about two extra inches on my legs, part of me (the 10 year old part) thinks that would solve all of my esteem issues, to have long legs. It wouldn't. Having perfect vision will not fix your self-esteem. Glasses aren't ugly, okay some are. If your hairstyle doesn't work, find a new style.

 

Getting rid of medical bills would help my esteem more than perfect vision. I'm sitting here with two sets of glasses. My new set is too strong to wear while working on the computer (also getting old eyes), so I have my old pair handy too. It's a pain.

 

:grouphug: I get it, but I wouldn't take money earmarked for other purposes to have optional surgery, just wouldn't.

[Acorn]

:hugs:

I've been there. I moved and had to find a new optometrist. He told me I was allergic to the preservative in many of the contact solutions. Since I switched to hydrogen peroxide, I can comfortably wear my contacts about 4 days a week.

 

I do consider 30 days of wear before I toss my "monthly" contacts. Or I toss them when things look foggy. I buy from discount places online, so I consider having comfortable vision worth an extra pair of lenses.

 

Pink eye is an infection that could have easily came from touching a doorknob, and then you used your finger to touch your lenses. I wouldn't discontinue contacts because of it. It just happens, especially if you are around children.

 

Scratched cornea can be a negative consequence of lenses. My dh got one while wearing his glasses and cleaning out a barn. So again, I think it is just something that happens.

 

I hope you find something that works for you.

[T'smom]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Have you tried on lots of pairs to see how they look? I didn't wear my glasses for years and the last time I went to get my eyes checked, I found a pair that I LOVE. They're black and pink and not quite funky- but almost. It took my dh awhile to get used to them, but for the first month or so everywhere I went I'd have someone exclaiming over how good they looked!

 

You might be surprised! Try on LOTS of styles. Take a friend with you for a second opinion.

[PeacefulChaos]

I do like my glasses from an objective standpoint. I think they are cute and sort of flattering - at least, that is what I thought when I bought them. :). Now, I just hate them - which I know is largely an emotional reaction because the last time I wore glasses only, I was an awkward 13 year old. So now I feel like an awkward 13 year old again, wondering if I never get to be pretty. ;). That mindset - which I've been constantly trying to talk myself out of for a year! - is why I wonder if my weight gain is sort of related. Like, if I just stopped trying because I figured there is no use in trying to look nice because I'm not going to be pretty or whatever, since I have to wear glasses. Idk. I know, it sounds pathetic. :)

Regarding the hair, I'm trying. But so far everything I've tried just isn't flattering with glasses. Or without them, probably, on me - I just know that every hairstyle I've ever had that was flattering wont work with the glasses. :glare:

Maybe I should just suck it up for the cost of the contacts....idk. I just feel like its such a temporary solution to a permanent problem. Plus I don't want them messing my eyes up again. :glare:

[besroma]

I really like my glasses, BUT.....

 

I feel the exact same way you do in them. They are cute, stylish, and I get a lot of compliments on them, but when I wear them I feel exactly the way you described how you feel.

 

I purchase 6 months worth of contacts at one time. I wear them only when I go out, approximately 3 days per week, for about 15-20 hours per week. I toss them after they get uncomfortable or foggy, but I do not throw them away after 30 days if I have not worn them much.

 

For me, it is worth the extra cost, which I am able to keep down since I don't wear them every day.

[Mergath]

It's not enough to like your glasses from an objective standpoint, though- you have to like the way they look on you. I think you should go and try on glasses until you find the pair that makes you say, "Wow, look at me! I'm like a sexy librarian times a million." I used to have a pair like that, but alas, dd broke them when she was toddler. All other pairs make me look hideous, even pairs that look similar, but there was something about that specific pair that just worked for me.

[Shellydon]

I hate glasses too. I recently switched to a different cleaning solution and it has helped a ton.

[Happy]

I started wearing glasses at the end of first grade. I struggled with contacts before the days of gas permeable ones. In my early 20s, my doctor introduced me to soft contacts. What a joy! For the next 20 years NO one saw me with glasses--except my family really early or really late in the day.

 

In my early 40s as we began homeschooling, I discovered I couldn't read00yay it's fun getting older. We were overseas, so rather than hassle with getting my eyes checked there, I just switched to glasses. Wow, I hadn't realized that I had been living with a low grade headache for a long time.

 

Eventually we came home and I played with bifocal contacts, but they made me dizzy. So I'm stuck with glasses. Expensive glasses--so there is no getting three cute pairs for fashion fun. I spend 1000 bucks and wear them for three years.

 

If you have to do something, you must. It is as simple as that. Go without your glasses for an hour or a day. I can't see more than six inches in focus...I can't function without vision help. I'm thankful for my glasses!

 

I can't have LASIK either. My cornea's are too thin. I might be able to have the implantable lense option, but I haven't gone to check it out lately.

 

What cannot be changed, must be accepted. It could be worse. A friend of mine just lost his left eye to cancer.

 

Practice counting your blessings... (Preaching always to myself here, too!)

[Mom-ninja.]

Same here. I used to wear contacts all the time, but I can't anymore.

 

I've developed an allergy of some kind....what the eye doc said.

 

I look at it this way, I'm saving money by wearing my glasses and not spending money on contacts and solutions.

 

Wish I didn't have to wear glasses though. I look better without.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I have to wear glasses. I now have double vision and contacts can't correct it enough for me to drive or go without headaches. I don't like it. It's been years now and it still bothers me. I tried contacts anyway....for the beach or pool, but they just hurt now. And I am prone to eye infections easily.

 

I do get new glasses as often as I can. I am finally all these years later figuring out the best style for my face. It isn't the current shape so it's hard to find anything some years. I agree about makeup. But I do think mascara helps. And I went all out and got a great pair of sunglasses. My last pair were over 10 years old. Hopefully these will last as long.

 

I saw a pair of glasses the other day like nothing I had ever seen before.....she was not from the US....but wow, they were so cool. I do think you just have to find the right frame for you and your hair.

 

I too don't like it. I accept it. Dh likes glasses on me fine. It's my issue mostly. :grouphug:

[Acorn]

I hate glasses too. I recently switched to a different cleaning solution and it has helped a ton.

 

That is the one that changed my world, and now there are generic versions. I tried the CVS brand, and it was fine.

[indigomama]

I too hate how I look in glasses. I would wear my contacts all the time, because I didn't like myself in glasses. Most people didn't even know I had them.

 

We recently went out of state for a job interview and to meet a ton of new people. The morning after our flight into town, I woke up with pink eye. I had to meet everyone wearing my glasses (over my puffy pink eyes!) and I was so embarrassed. I know it sounds vain, but it's the truth.

 

I came home and went to the eye doctor and got new contacts. I too am looking into LASIK, but it seems like so much money.

 

So, sorry I'm not helpful but I can commiserate.

[melissad2]

I agree with the pp. I cannot use Walmart brand contact solution! It makes me feel like I have sandpaper in my eyes! I switched back to optifree and *poof* back to normal. I might try different brands of solution or different brand of contacts before I gave up completely.

[Scarlett]

I have to wear my glasses. I've been wearing contacts for years. I got glasses when I went into 2nd grade, bifocals in fourth, back to regular glasses in middle school, and then I moved to contacts during Christmas break of my freshman year of high school. (1996 - coincidentally, at the same time I began wearing a little bit of makeup and changed my hairstyle a bit, and when I went back to school in January a lot of people didn't recognize me.)

I've never slept in them, always taken good care of them, etc. I did wear them every day.

Fast forward to last year - August, to be exact. One of my contact lenses scratched my cornea and gave me some major problems for a few weeks. did go back to wearing them, but not as often, around the end of October - maybe once or twice, at the most three times a week.

Everything had changed at that point - I could feel the contacts again, more than I had ever been able to feel them in my eyes. It still wasn't awful, though, and wasn't painful or anything.

Then, this summer, I got pinkeye. :glare: I'm positive it was from my contact lens somehow, because it was just obvious - I noticed it being more uncomfortable/ redder than usual one week, didn't wear them for a week, and when I put it back in it felt the same and I had an eye infection the next day. I swore them off at that point - I was tired of my contacts giving me problems. Not to mention they told me I still needed to replace my contacts every month, despite only wearing them twice a week. I have a hard time imagining paying $10/ month for contacts that I will wear approximately 8 times during that month. I get what they are saying, but it just seems like a total waste of money to me.

So here I am. If you have made it this far into my pity party, thank you. :tongue_smilie:

My glasses make me feel ugly. They negatively affect my hair (the way I like to have my bangs won't work with glasses). I feel like doing my makeup the way I normally would - eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara - is a waste of time with glasses because I've looked at myself with and without those things with my glasses on and it looks exactly the same. So I've only been doing eyeshadow instead.

My self esteem is in the tank. I know it's incredibly vain of me and that there are people out there with real problems, but I can't help it. I actually am looking at the timing and wondering if this doesn't relate to my weight gain over the last year or so.

 

I've considered LASIK but we would be talking $3000+ total. While that may be possible with a tax refund, for me to do it this coming year would mean choosing between LASIK and getting rid of a lot of medical bills. :confused: I know what the more responsible option is, and would have a hard time choosing LASIK over it. That would mean waiting at least another year, but then who knows what could happen before then? There could be things then that a more important, too. Sigh....

 

Oh, and changing contact lenses won't change anything. I tried several different brands beforehand settling with biofinity. :)

 

Anyway, I don't know what I'm asking for. I'm just... Unhappy. :(

 

 

 

:grouphug: I can so totally relate. I wore contacts for 17 years and one day I just woke up and couldn't wear them anymore. It was so bizarre. I tried everything--different contacts, different solutions, less time in them...nothing worked.

 

I hate wearing my glasses. I hate everything about it. The look, the feel, everything. I had RK in 96 and it cost me $1200. Best money I ever spent. I am 47 now and need reading glasses quite often....but I will never regret RK.

 

I know it is not the most important thing in the world, but it was a BIG deal for me and I would sacrifice a lot to not have to wear glasses.

 

:grouphug:

[In the Rain]

It's not enough to like your glasses from an objective standpoint, though- you have to like the way they look on you. I think you should go and try on glasses until you find the pair that makes you say, "Wow, look at me! I'm like a sexy librarian times a million."

 

:lol: I love that!

 

OP, :grouphug:. I'm sorry you don't feel good in your glasses. My dh doesn't like glasses either. I love the way he looks in glasses, but he just doesn't feel it.

[regentrude]

I think you are right on target when you suspect that this is not really about the glasses, but about the way you feel about yourself.

I hope you can find a way to like yourself the way you are.

 

I have been wearing glasses since 3rd grade. I hated it as a preteen, and have since gotten used to them. I had a period where I had to work really hard on learning to like myself.

I have friends who like me, a DH who loves me and finds me attractive,a job where I am respected - so clearly, I can't look that terrible. I'm sure you don't, either.

[MistyMountain]

I'm in a similar boat. I don't really like wearing glasses. I don't like how I look in them. I don't like that I can feel them and how they usually feel slightly loose even though I take them off every night and take good care of them. I started wearing contacts at 16 but I had to stop wearing them when I got pregnant with ds and my eyes thought they were an infection. I tried again after my youngest was born and she was sleeping ok and I was able to wear them for a short while before they started itching again. I wish I could wear contacts and eventually get the surgery but I am stuck with glasses and I don't like it.

Edited October 2, 2012 by MistyMountain

[PrincessMommy]

I got LASIK surgery when I was 37. I actually like glasses, but hated the way they felt on my nose and always gave me a stuffy nose. But, I had an astigmatism and contacts could not give me that nice clear vision.

 

The downside is that it precipitated my need for reading glasses. I hate reading glasses! They make me look OLD and they go on the end of my nose making my stuffiness worse! They're just uncomfortable. I put off wearing them for a long time - especially outside of the house. But, now 11yrs later I can't really go without them. Sheesh! should use them to EAT. It's ridiculous.

 

When I got mine done they were trying to perfect the ability to do one eye for far away and one for reading. I don't know if they've succeeded, but if not then if you hate regular glasses I think you'll really HATE reading glasses.

[Element]

I can totally relate. I wore contacts from fourth grade until age 27, when I developed ocular rosacea. Contacts just hurt all. the. time. I HATED having to go back to glasses. I never felt fully awake without my contacts. My glasses made me feel tired, shy, and generally yucky. I'm a total extrovert, and glasses made me feel totally out of my element.

 

I would say it took 2 or 3 years to regain my confidence and feel as productive as a glasses-wearer as I did as a contact lens-wearer. I have gone through 4 pairs of glasses in the past 5 years (not cheap, since I'm a -8.5 with a terrible astigmatism) and I think I finally have a pair I feel comfortable in. :grouphug: I really think you will start to feel better in your glasses over time. The whole "I hate glasses!" thing never went 100% away for me, but it did get a lot better.

[ereks mom]

Same here. I used to wear contacts all the time, but I can't anymore.

 

I've developed an allergy of some kind....what the eye doc said.

 

I look at it this way, I'm saving money by wearing my glasses and not spending money on contacts and solutions.

 

Wish I didn't have to wear glasses though. I look better without.

 

Same situation here. I wore glasses for about 12 years, starting when I was 12 or 13. I switched to contacts and wore them with no problems from the time I was in my mid-20s until I was in my late 40s. Then all of a sudden, I couldn't wear them any more. My eyes burned and ached and turned red, but we never figured out what I'm allergic to. So I switched to glasses. I think glasses make me look older, and they're cumbersome too, but they are cheaper in the long run. :-/

[Erica in OR]

My history is similar—glasses very early on, switch to bifocals soon after, contact lenses toward end of grade school. Was okay with hard contact lenses until we moved to an area with terrible wind for large parts of the year. I seemed to be constantly getting a speck of kicked up dust under my lenses, not being able to see, and having to deal with it. I balked at the cost of Lasik too, but after discussing it with DH, decided even though it wasn't a life-or-death situation, being comfortable needed to be put on the priority list. We added saving up for Lasik to our financial goals and we saved it up bit by bit. I had it done several years ago and I've never regretted it.

 

Others have given you a lot of great advice about loving yourself the way you are. I agree, but also wanted to say that you shouldn't feel as though you have to sacrifice something and accept that "it's who you are" if changing something would make you feel better about yourself. I have had skin issues on my face for years and hesitated to spend money seeing a dermatologist since it seemed like a luxury. A couple years ago I decided to go ahead. Yes, the cream he prescribed seems outrageously expensive for a single tube, but boy, I sure feel better every day looking at myself in the mirror and seeing that I look improved in photos.

 

There's wisdom in accepting yourself for who you are, but also wisdom in not denying your own wants if they can be reasonably achieved. So, maybe not this year due to paying off medical bills (or pay off most and start a fund for Lasik), but make sure you're on the priority list too.

 

Erica in OR

[Jpoy85]

I have to wear glasses too.

 

maybe you need a few pairs to match them with what youre wearing like me? Zennioptical has CHEAP glasses and lots of styles and colors!

[Lisa R.]

If you took a break from wearing contacts because of an eye infection, gave your eyes a rest, then put the same contacts back in a few weeks later, you could've reinfected your eyes.

 

If you have an eye infection, say pink eye, you must throw away your contacts *and* all your eye make-up, or you can reinfect yourself.

 

I'd give yourself a break from contacts and make sure your eyes are fully healed. Then try brand new contacts again. You should be fine.

 

If you find your eyes are dry, there is something called punctal plugs. They are very tiny plugs that go into your lower tear duct. This keeps your eye the right amount of wetness. Contacts are very uncomfortable if your eyes are dry. Dry eyes don't necessary feel dry. Instead they can feel scratchy, or like you have an eyelash or something in your eye--even though you don't. I started having problems with this in my 30s. An eye doctor can easily test to see if your eyes are too dry.

 

Don't give up on contacts yet!

[PeacefulChaos]

If you took a break from wearing contacts because of an eye infection, gave your eyes a rest, then put the same contacts back in a few weeks later, you could've reinfected your eyes.

 

If you have an eye infection, say pink eye, you must throw away your contacts *and* all your eye make-up, or you can reinfect yourself.

 

I'd give yourself a break from contacts and make sure your eyes are fully healed. Then try brand new contacts again. You should be fine.

 

If you find your eyes are dry, there is something called punctal plugs. They are very tiny plugs that go into your lower tear duct. This keeps your eye the right amount of wetness. Contacts are very uncomfortable if your eyes are dry. Dry eyes don't necessary feel dry. Instead they can feel scratchy, or like you have an eyelash or something in your eye--even though you don't. I started having problems with this in my 30s. An eye doctor can easily test to see if your eyes are too dry.

 

Don't give up on contacts yet!

 

I haven't worn any contacts in the last 3-4 months. :) I don't own any anymore - though I do need to order some, at least for our Christmas Musical.

[edelweiss]

I know how you feel. I hate wearing glasses. Hate it. I feel so unattractive in them.

 

I've worn contacts for years. About 3-4 years ago, I developed Dry Eye. It makes wearing contacts much more uncomfortable. Some days I'm fine, and some days I can't seem to wear them at all. So, I often have to resort to glasses. :glare: I did switch to daily wear lenses (I throw them out after one wear which sometimes is only a few hours because I always switch back to my contacts once I know that I'm "in" for the night). The daily wear lenses are great because I'm always putting in a fresh pair and I don't need to use cleaning solutions which are often very irritating to someone with dry eye. They are expensive though, so it doesn't sound like a good solution for you.

 

Because I do have to wear my glasses in public at times, I decided to go buy a few pairs of stylish glasses. So far I've bought one pair. :001_huh: It just takes SO darn long just to find ONE pair that are even tolerable that I haven't had the energy to go back and find more. I truly don't think that there are glasses in existence or ever will be that I will like on myself. I just don't find glasses attractive.

 

I have considered eye surgery, but my doctor says that I'm not a good candidate for LASIK because of the dry eye, but that I could consider RK surgery. However, because I'm 43, I will still likely need reading glasses in a much shorter period of time. So, even though the surgery's cost wouldn't be a hardship for me, I don't know that surgery would be worth it in my case.

 

In your case, I definitely wouldn't do LASIK over paying off medical bills, but I might consider it in the future depending on how old you are.

[lewelma]

Now, I just hate them.....That mindset - which I've been constantly trying to talk myself out of for a year!

 

I've got some very practical advice for you. I have suffered from obsessive thoughts in my past, and came up with a way to make. them. go. away.

 

Whenever a thought pops into your head about how much you hate your glasses, refuse to think about it. Think about ANYTHING ELSE. I used to focus on the wind in my hair or the feel of the fabric under my fingers. After a while (weeks to a few months), you actually can reduce those brain pathways. You make the highway to that thought turn into a road then into a trail and then into a cow path. And then it is GONE.

 

Try it. I think you will be surprised at how well it works.

 

Ruth in NZ

[skeeterbug]

I think I misunderstood the cost. $10 a month? Um, sign me up!!

 

I hate wearing glasses. I'd almost rather go without.

 

So helpful, aren't I? Really, I'd give your eyes a good rest, go totally without contacts for a couple of months, find a good optometrist and have an eye exam, let them know your issues. Then try again with a new pair/brand.

 

And pay your bills. No surgery until you've saved up for it and your bills are paid!

[weddell]

I hate glasses too. I recently switched to a different cleaning solution and it has helped a ton.

 

:iagree:

My sister had all sorts of problems with her eyes and it turned out it was the contact solution. She absolutely can never use the regular solution, it has to be this kind. Her corneas actually had holes in them (which healed) from the other solution.