Remember the wedding that was supposed to be in 2014? Guess what?

[FaithManor]

It's June 2013!!!!! Breathe in and out, breathe in and out.

 

DD has decided that her paramedic job in a rather dangerous area isn't as amenable to marriage and family as she had hoped and the pay is poor for the job and responsibility. The benefits are excellent, she knows that...her health insurance is primo! But, NO flexibility, rarely gets off work on time, bizarre shift changes, you name it.

 

So, she's decided to A. NOT go to med school, and B. not complete her BS in chemistry, so that C. she can finish nursing school. She will begin in September 2013 in a paramedic to RN bridge program that will take three semesters to complete - fall, spring, and a couple of classes or clinicals in the summer with an expected graduation of mid-August 2014 and then study, take board, and get a job. She'll somehow be managing to work as a medic while she's in school because her job has health benefits and his won't have any for at least a year since he'll be starting out doing freelance work until he can get some experience. I know her type A personality well enough to know she'll manage it though I'm sure the stress will not be good. But, the bridge program is designed for working medics and she's being allowed to transfer to a safe, rural area only 40 minutes from campus but within her EMS company so she doesn't have to find another job.

 

He graduates with his BA in March and needs to move out of his parents' house because they've developed mold in the basement - not black, toxic mold, but mold that affects his allergies and has put him back on shots and asthma medication. He'd either need to find roomates in Philadelphia in order to get an apartment and make ends meet, then find someone to take over his portion of the lease/sub-let after they got married in 2014 or make a major move. They've decided to just make the move.

 

June 8th, 2013 at 2:00 p.m. I have just slightly less than 9 months to pull this off, my mom is having knee surgery next month, and the rocket team - if they qualify - will be headed to Washington D.C./VA. May 8th - 13th and then eldest ds needs to sit the AP World History exam immediately following.

 

Tell me that I will A. survive this and B. maintain some good humor!

 

I hate my butt and thighs, I hate my butt and thighs, I hate my butt and thighs....why didn't I do something before them now????????? Nine months until pictures. Ugh...can't afford liposuction either. :glare:

 

Faith

Edited September 10, 2012 by FaithManor

[QueenCat]

Breathe in, breathe out.... I gave my mom 7 weeks notice to help me pull off a wedding. It can be done in 9 months :) Again, breathe in, breathe out.

[lovinmomma]

Breathe in, breathe out.... I gave my mom 7 weeks notice to help me pull off a wedding. It can be done in 9 months :) Again, breathe in, breathe out.

 

Uhhh.... try 3 months. OR if you count when the wedding was called off and then called back on a month away from the wedding... I gave my mom 1 month. That didn't turn out so well though. :)

[FaithManor]

Breathe in, breathe out.... I gave my mom 7 weeks notice to help me pull off a wedding. It can be done in 9 months :) Again, breathe in, breathe out.

 

 

SEVEN WEEKS!!!! IS SHE STILL ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH YOU?????? :lol:

 

I guess what doesn't actually kill you makes you stronger. But, I'm now appreciating the fact, in a new light, that the other three are boys and so if and when the time comes, I'll just be told what color to wear and when to show up! THAT, I can handle!

 

Faith

[Impish]

9 mths is plenty of time. Heck, babies are conceived and born in that time. A wedding is much easier! :tongue_smilie:

 

If it makes you feel any better, Wolf and I were married 5 mths and 6 days after we met :tongue_smilie: Be glad I wasn't your dd!

 

Then again, you would have shown up for the wedding, and that would have been nice.

[Kathryn]

You can do this! Nine months is plenty of time and makes it real enough that decisions are easier to make. I think we had just about that amount of time and everything came together beautifully.

[lovinmomma]

9 mths is plenty of time. Heck, babies are conceived and born in that time. A wedding is much easier! :tongue_smilie:

 

 

Bolding mine. Good point!

[Leanna Tomlinson]

It will be OK. My dd just gave me from Feb- July, and it all worked out fine. The planning books/bridal magazines will make you feel like you are already far behind. DON'T PAY ATTENTION.

 

The main thing you need to do now is secure a place for the ceremony and reception. Sometimes that is also tied to the food.

 

Next - is the dress. Again, you have plenty of time. Go have some fun!

 

There are A LOT of extra things that the "wedding gurus" will make you think you must do: favors for guests, save the date cards, and on and on. These are all new inventions designed to make someone some $. Just remember.....KEEP IT SIMPLE.

 

I had all kinds of plans to lose weight before dd's wedding, and had already lost 10lbs, but I ended up being 24 weeks pregnant at the wedding. :tongue_smilie: At least you aren't headed in the wrong direction like I was! You have plenty of time to lose and tone.

 

:grouphug:

[momofkhm]

Nine months is plenty of time! Just get a checklist with a schedule and stick to it.

 

I know a couple that was both dating other people, one was engaged. They met and married 6 weeks later. Yes, they are still married to each other lo these many years later.

 

A good friend got engaged around Valentines Day and married Memorial Day of the same year and her mother made her dress! What is that 3 1/2 months?

 

You can so do 9 months!

[QueenCat]

SEVEN WEEKS!!!! IS SHE STILL ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH YOU?????? :lol:

 

I guess what doesn't actually kill you makes you stronger. But, I'm now appreciating the fact, in a new light, that the other three are boys and so if and when the time comes, I'll just be told what color to wear and when to show up! THAT, I can handle!

 

Faith

 

LOL... yes, it'll be 25 years in December. What it did was eliminate choices. Dress had to be picked by what was available on the one shopping day. Church was decorated for Christmas so the only flowers were what we carried or wore. Things were much simpler than if I'd given her more time. My sister gave her 14 months, more of a headache and higher costs..... The only real issue was convincing my parents that I wasn't pregnant (eldest came 2 1/2 years later).

[Kelly1730]

You can do it! We're just slightly ahead of you; May 25, 2013. DD is away for this semester but coming home to live and do second semester at CC so she can help plan wedding. So far we have, church, reception, caterer and dress taken care of. We will work on more detailed items after Christmas when she comes home. I just picked up her dress yesterday and got teary, AGAIN, thinking about it:).

[GWOB]

I gave my parents a day:tongue_smilie:.

 

It will be fine. Everything will be perfect and beautiful. Start doing squats and lunges now to tone the legs and reduce stress.

 

Your dd and her guy seem like smart, intelligent young people. Good job Momma!

[FaithManor]

I gave my parents a day:tongue_smilie:.

 

It will be fine. Everything will be perfect and beautiful. Start doing squats and lunges now to tone the legs and reduce stress.

 

Your dd and her guy seem like smart, intelligent young people. Good job Momma!

 

 

Thank you! They are sweeties. He is, a miniature dh, and fits in well with our nerdy, geeky, blow-everything-up bunch. No worries there and I'm rehearsing for MIL of the Year awards because with all of the stories around here, I have no intention of even barking at the door of "bad mil".

 

I'm just a little worried about my mom's surgery. She's diabetic and doesn't heal as well as she used to even five years ago before she became type 2. The other thing is the sheer amount of work rocketry team is. I'll spend the entire month of April pretty much unable to work on wedding stuff because we'll have public appearances for the team and funraisers. Then I need to make sure ds has hit the books hard for that exam, then the competition. We were EXHAUSTED when we returned from Finals last May. So, I'll only have two half weeks from TARC/EXAMS to be prepared for the beginning influxes of out-of-towners. That's I think what has me on edge. Nine months should be enough...it's the timing of the event. However, due to some of his allergy meds, he's not too great in the heat and sun...he will actually get a rash if the heat index is strong. He'd like to have everything under control and be off those meds by the wedding but there aren't any guarantees. So, having a wedding in July or August would be hard on him. He would have liked April, but honestly, that would have put me in the grave. We have already committed to the kids on this rocketry team and they've built their competition prototypes and are already in flight testing mode. If we had backed out because they wanted to get married in April, we would have had some VERY upset kids and angry parents since money of significant amounts have already been spent. Therefore, we said, "NO, if you get married in April, here is some money...call and tell us when to show up. We can't be involved in having out of town guests, decorating a facility, etc. during that month."

 

Being the sweethearts they are, they pushed it to June.

 

I'll live. I'm just having a panicky moment. Possibly if I weren't also taking care of my friend's farm while she looks after her daughter and son-in-law (the parents of the micro-preemie twins), I'd feel less stressed.

 

Thank you for the encouragement everyone! :001_smile:

 

Faith

[DianeW88]

Nine months is a freaking ton of time to plan a wedding. My wedding was four months after my engagement. In my world I've known very few people whose engagements are longer than 6 months....and I've known quite a few who were only engaged for 6 weeks.

 

You can do it easily, don't worry. :)

Edited September 10, 2012 by DianeW88
Egregious grammar error thanks to %^#}{ autocorrect.

[MariannNOVA]

You can do this. dh and i did a gorgeous, elegant wedding on a shoestring in 9 weeks.

 

your dd sounds like a wonderful young woman with a good head on your shoulders.

 

And for you, SPANX!;)

[Perry]

Wait a minute. Mothers have to plan their dds' weddings? I thought the dd did that. :blush: Dh and I were married by a JP with 2 witnesses. I have no experience with this.

 

I was planning to write a check and show up. How much work is this, exactly?

[Granny_Weatherwax]

How exciting for you. Congratulations to your DD and future SIL.

 

You can do it. Nine months is plenty of time to help plan a wedding and change your lifestyle if you want to look different in the pictures.

 

Remember, you have the world's greatest information and support network at your fingertips - The Hive.

 

I can't wait to read your future posts about the wedding plans. How exciting.

[ChristineW]

Nine months is plenty of time. DH and I were engaged in September, married in May and planned the wedding from 1900 miles away. If you have a date then it sounds like you at least have the location of the wedding set--that was our hardest part. Just relax.

 

Christine

[Rhonda in TX]

Just about everybody I know has less than a year between engagement and wedding. You can do this! I gave my mom 6 months and it was wonderful.

[GWOB]

Wait a minute. Mothers have to plan their dds' weddings? I thought the dd did that. :blush: Dh and I were married by a JP with 2 witnesses. I have no experience with this.

 

I was planning to write a check and show up. How much work is this, exactly?

 

:iagree:

[Scarlett]

Very exciting!

 

Dh and I were married in 10 weeks and 5 days after we met. ;)

 

I have found that the shorter the engagement the less time to develop stress over the wedding details.

[redheadmom]

I run my own business as a wedding planner; trust me you are good. Take a big breath and relax. Every wedding schedule out there starts at 12 months out or more so dont stress over those.

 

Now that you have a date, you need to get an estimate of your guest count. Next, find a venue. Third, book a photographer. After that you can handle most of the vendors and details in any order. You may want to send Save the date postcards or emails since June can be a busy month especially for weddings.

 

You will be fine. Feel free to PM me if you have planning questions.

[Beth S]

I guess I'm in the same boat, except our dd & serious bf are not yet engaged. :001_smile:

 

I'm really, really intending not to stress out about wedding details.

Keeping it as low-key and simple as possible--smaller wedding party, afternoon reception, giving them a set budget from us, etc.

 

Mainly, I'd just advise keeping it small, but special in the ways that are important to them. :001_smile:

 

I really, really don't think it is the bride's mom's job to execute the bride's elaborate plan. I guess we'll be starting a Wedding Panic Thread in late April 2013, what do you think?!?

[idnib]

I pulled off my wedding in 83 days. It was located 400 miles away and we invited 225 people and ended up with 180 guests.

 

It was stressful but it was also nice that it didn't drag on forever, with endless conversations, opinions, and second-guessing. Just done and done. :)

[Mom-ninja.]

I'm sure your butt and thighs are fine. :grouphug: Repeat Jillian Michaels quote, "You are not your body. You are a person of worth regardless of what the body looks like."

 

See? I just helped you fix the butt and thigh problem. :001_smile:

 

There's also Spanx. ;)

[QueenCat]

Wait a minute. Mothers have to plan their dds' weddings? I thought the dd did that. :blush: Dh and I were married by a JP with 2 witnesses. I have no experience with this.

 

I was planning to write a check and show up. How much work is this, exactly?

 

Almost every married woman I know planned their weddings with the aid of their mother.... and let the groom know what he needed to do (pick groomsmen, order tuxs, show up).

[KatieJ]

9 months is plenty of time!

I got married in less than 3 month. My oldest daughter was married in about 3 months time..

You can do it!

[StaceyinLA]

I think we had the bulk of the big stuff done in the first week. It's just not that bad. You'll be fine!!

[FaithManor]

I guess I'm in the same boat, except our dd & serious bf are not yet engaged. :001_smile:

 

I'm really, really intending not to stress out about wedding details.

Keeping it as low-key and simple as possible--smaller wedding party, afternoon reception, giving them a set budget from us, etc.

 

Mainly, I'd just advise keeping it small, but special in the ways that are important to them. :001_smile:

 

I really, really don't think it is the bride's mom's job to execute the bride's elaborate plan. I guess we'll be starting a Wedding Panic Thread in late April 2013, what do you think?!?

 

Well, in theory it should be her responsibility to pull it all together. But, theory isn't well executed in reality.

 

DD works nights - 12 hour shifts with 2 hrs. of commuting. She aims for 8 hours of sleep which only leaves 4 hrs. of time not on the road or at work. She works nights. Given that very, very few shifts let out on time and some run two and three hours over, she has whole 48 hr. time frames where all she does is work, sleep, or dirve. She also works nights and has to sleep days. Since it's the kind of job where people can die if she makes a mistake, choosing to go on less sleep in order to be awake during business hours, is not an option. Her only opportunities to get anything done and that's IF she isn't working mandatory overtime which happens more often than not, is from 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. M, W, and TH or Sunday. She can't make appointments for businesses that aren't open on Sundays and in our rural area, businesses that aren't chains such as Walmart, close a 5 p.m. on the dot. One usually can't even ask for an appointment of any kind after 4:30.

 

So, if this thing is going to get done, I'll be the one making it happen. Truly, I do want to do it for her. The timing is just NOT GOOD, but I don't think it can be helped.

 

The worst thing is that there are very, very few places in this county to host weddings and so most of them book 12-24 mths. in advance. We'll be busting our tails to find somewhere to host this AND to find accomodations. There are only three motels within a 30 min. drive of us, two of which are flea bags. So, I'm hoping his family takes my advice and calls NOW to book whatever they need at the clean and neat motel. Otherwise, they are going to have to pay to stay in our one touristy area and the prices there are $$$$$ or they'll have to stay about an hour away from here. I simply can't manage everything I'm doing plus house a gazzillion people. The groom and his sister will be with my mil, my parents will have my sister, plus nephew and his wife who are both in the bridal party, and my brother will have two grown sons in town staying with him while dd is here with us and her bridesmaid from Texas. I SOOOOOOOOO am not getting involved in finding people for the groom's family to stay with, and I know, that sounds harsh. But, it is what it is.

 

Maybe I'll feel a little better once I get mom through her surgery and I get my iron levels back up where they belong as they currently reside in a range described by the doctor as "SCARY!" Shhh....dd doesn't know that. I can't handle her going all medical bossy on me.

 

Thanks everyone!

Faith

[Starr]

Secure the locations, call a couple of hotels and they'll reserve some rooms and send out cards to remind everyone. Then you can rest about the housing. You could have this planned by Christmas and put your feet up. :D

It sounds like your dd is so busy she'll love it no matter what.

[KatieJ]

The worst thing is that there are very, very few places in this county to host weddings and so most of them book 12-24 mths. in advance. We'll be busting our tails to find somewhere to host this AND to find accomodations. There are only three motels within a 30 min. drive of us, two of which are flea bags. So, I'm hoping his family takes my advice and calls NOW to book whatever they need at the clean and neat motel. Faith

 

You can call the hotel and have them set aside a block of rooms for the

xxx/yyy wedding. They will give you a slighter better rate. Maybe.

You can ask tho! They will hold that block of rooms for a period of time before the wedding ( maybe several weeks) and then they will let them go to the general public. Gives those out of town families time to make a decision. You should include that hotel info in your wedding invitations.

[Kelly1730]

You can do this. dh and i did a gorgeous, elegant wedding on a shoestring in 9 weeks.

 

your dd sounds like a wonderful young woman with a good head on your shoulders.

 

And for you, SPANX!;)

 

I want, no I NEED some gorgeous elegant wedding on a shoestring tips, Mariann!:)

[vonfirmath]

My parents had 6 months. To the day.

[Dobela]

I told my parents on Wednesday that I was getting married on Monday. It was small, efficient, and I am just as married as those friends who took a year to plan their wedding.

[BugsMama]

I told my parents on Tuesday that I was getting married on Thursday. My mom put together some beautiful flowers, and helped my son make me a "wedding cake" out of ding dongs. Justice of the Peace, Steakhouse for dinner, and a drive-in movie reception with friends ;-)

 

You can do it. And, you won't have to give her a ding dong wedding cake. Although, mine WAS beautiful.

 

 

(you said you wanted shoestring budget ideas, right? :lol:)

[Jpoy85]

I told my parents on Tuesday that I was getting married on Thursday. My mom put together some beautiful flowers, and helped my son make me a "wedding cake" out of ding dongs. Justice of the Peace, Steakhouse for dinner, and a drive-in movie reception with friends ;-)

 

You can do it. And, you won't have to give her a ding dong wedding cake. Although, mine WAS beautiful.

 

 

(you said you wanted shoestring budget ideas, right? :lol:)

 

:lol:

[tex-mex]

Nine months is plenty of time! Just get a checklist with a schedule and stick to it.

 

I know a couple that was both dating other people, one was engaged. They met and married 6 weeks later. Yes, they are still married to each other lo these many years later.

 

A good friend got engaged around Valentines Day and married Memorial Day of the same year and her mother made her dress! What is that 3 1/2 months?

 

You can so do 9 months!

:iagree:

 

We were engaged for 6.5 months and my MIL planned the wedding on a budget. It was great! We've been married for 25 years now. OP, you can do this. ;) Beats eloping to Vegas! (Which was my back-up plan... but MIL would not allow that to happen. LOL)

Edited September 11, 2012 by tex-mex

[tex-mex]

 

The worst thing is that there are very, very few places in this county to host weddings and so most of them book 12-24 mths. in advance. We'll be busting our tails to find somewhere to host this AND to find accomodations. There are only three motels within a 30 min. drive of us, two of which are flea bags. So, I'm hoping his family takes my advice and calls NOW to book whatever they need at the clean and neat motel. Otherwise, they are going to have to pay to stay in our one touristy area and the prices there are $$$$$ or they'll have to stay about an hour away from here. I simply can't manage everything I'm doing plus house a gazzillion people. The groom and his sister will be with my mil, my parents will have my sister, plus nephew and his wife who are both in the bridal party, and my brother will have two grown sons in town staying with him while dd is here with us and her bridesmaid from Texas. I SOOOOOOOOO am not getting involved in finding people for the groom's family to stay with, and I know, that sounds harsh. But, it is what it is.

 

Maybe I'll feel a little better once I get mom through her surgery and I get my iron levels back up where they belong as they currently reside in a range described by the doctor as "SCARY!" Shhh....dd doesn't know that. I can't handle her going all medical bossy on me.

 

Thanks everyone!

Faith

 

For our wedding, my MIL had a load of people stay on her property (groom's family & my family) as they lived in the Mojave Desert and the nearest town was 60 miles away. ;) It was fun. Everyone camped outside in RVs, 5th wheels, pop-up tents, or the guest house in the back. MIL asked friends to borrow their RVs and 5th wheels. We ate potlucks and BBQs galore. It was actually very fun with all of the people, looking back on it 25 years later.

 

The wedding was about 40 minutes away from MIL's ranch. We ended up getting married in a lovely mountain top chapel that had a gorgeous conference room for the reception -- and they catered the event. Tons of people in our church helped with decoration, reception dinner, flowers, cake (it was lovely), and one seamstress made my wedding dress. I think MIL paid $10K for the whole event. Hubby saved $1500 for a 3 week honeymoon in Maui.

 

No need to stress. People are capable of finding accomodations on their own. Do what you can do. I think you need to enjoy the ride! It will happen soon and before you know it, it is over! You can do this.

Edited September 11, 2012 by tex-mex