Aspasia Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 ...playing with their friends? Dh and I really think dd is. It's usually not too bad, but if she and her little friends have been running around together for more than a couple hours a day (we live in a townhouse and all the kids bounce from house to house or play in the common area together), she seems to be more obstinate, more whiny, and just plain bratty when she comes home. I think it might stem from the fact that friend time involves the kids doing their thing, according to their own rules; and after you've been doing that all day, having a grown up come around and tell you what to do or put limits on your behavior (gasp!) kinda cramps your style. I know that some of her friends are pretty mouthy with their parents normally, but I'm really trying not to blame dd's behavior on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) No, I have never noticed this with my kids. ets: It sounds like she is playing for a long time. Maybe it's too long for her. Generally my kids have never played all day, especially at a young age. I know my youngest would be a bit cranky if he did. Edited September 3, 2012 by Jen3boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Depends on the friends! Over all, we don't have much of a problem but most of the friends they play are extremely well behaved! There are a few friends that I do notice it more with. I limit time with those friends and talk to the girls about why. That seems to help some! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Yes, with certain friends. They are no longer friends. (If you read any of my threads about the neighbor diva you will see that it was a long process before dd would separate from that friendship. I wish I had stepped in when they were much younger.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 Hmmm.... She has one friend, specifically, who she can spend the entire day with (friend's mom is my good friend and sometimes she babysits for me), and when she comes home she's totally normal. But our neighborhood friends can be pretty sassy...even with me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Definite yes with neighborhood kids. Absolutely not with playdate/family friends and kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshin Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes and no. DS12 most definitely, although it's getting better as he gets older. He always has been this way. It is worse depending on the friend. DS7 has never really had that problem. He'll occasionally model a friend's behavior but stops the instant we call him out on it. In our case at least, it partly seems to be the child's personality and partly the personality of the friend. When DS12 was younger, I though it was crankiness from playing all day, now I wonder since DS7 never had this issue. But DS7 is also a more high energy kid so maybe he just never played enough to get that cranky. Who knows! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Oh my, yes! More so with certain friends and definitely after a week at camp! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) No, I have never noticed this with my kids. ets: It sounds like she is playing for a long time. Maybe it's too long for her. Generally my kids have never played all day, especially at a young age. I know my youngest would be a bit cranky if he did. I was thinking this, too. I probably need to limit her time playing with them. Our neighborhood's culture involves all the kids playing ALL the time while all the moms chat outside. It will be awkward to limit her time playing, especially since I am a bit introverted and don't generally join the ladies' hangout (so many things I'd rather do!) But I'll take that over Little Miss Thang any day. Public school starts tomorrow, so that should help. Edited September 4, 2012 by infomom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 No. But we are very picky about which friends they hang around with, especially if it involves a large chunk of time. They have occasionally picked up some bad habits from their cousin whose family has very different ideas about behavior and discipline. We've been frank with Dc and told them they will not have time with him if they come home and expect to follow his lead. That's about all it takes. Thankfully, they don't see him much. We would be prepared to follow through and reduce their time together even more if his habits continued to seep into our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 yes, definitely. I don't think it is the particular kids, just that they don't get good practice with appropriate behavior when they are not around adults. I have explained to DS that if he acts awful after too much friend time I will limit friend time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 With a couple friends over the years yes and I had to limit contact with them. Generally it is that they behave worse after spending time with extended family not when they are with friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 When DD gets overstimulated, it comes out later, and other kids can definitely overstimulate her. If it's something "special" that has her off schedule, it's worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes, with certain friends. They are no longer friends. (If you read any of my threads about the neighbor diva you will see that it was a long process before dd would separate from that friendship. I wish I had stepped in when they were much younger.) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I think it might stem from the fact that friend time involves the kids doing their thing, according to their own rules; and after you've been doing that all day, having a grown up come around and tell you what to do or put limits on your behavior (gasp!) kinda cramps your style. We had this experience a few months ago when our son went to a day camp for a week. His behavior for the next week or two was much worse than normal. It was bad enough that we decided no more day camps for him for a few years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Is it possible that she's just less well-behaved when she's tired? It takes LOTS of energy to run with a pack of kids all day. I'll bet she sleeps well. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I will also say it depends on the playmate. With most, no, no behavior issues. With a couple... hmm, I wouldn't say the time is followed by misbehavior, but in some mimicking of less desirable behaviors. Sometimes a little detox is required! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yep. We've dealt with it with each dd and recently the youngest most often. We have put her on an open-ended time-out from being with one specific friend because it only seems to happen after they're together; not with others. She was so happy to see her friend this weekend but as we told her, a real change in her attitude had to happen and because it didn't, back to no time. It's hard to do but we've had good results with the open-ended time-out, rather than creating a prison mentality with a timeline. Nothing ever changed that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes, and sometimes it was a particular person/friend. Yes, and sometimes it was an introverted issue. Introverted on an uninformed about themselves as an an introvert child can make a child behave the way you describe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 My dn's family is going through this right now. She has some new friends in the neighborhood, and she is just coming back nasty. When I looked at her friends' FB pages, I could see why. :001_huh: :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes, and sometimes it was an introverted issue. Introverted on an uninformed about themselves as an an introvert child can make a child behave the way you describe. Interesting. DD behaves like an extrovert in that she LOVES friends. She lives for them. But I have read in other places that that is pretty common for kids her age, who are just now really playing with friends. It would make sense if she were introverted, since both dh and I are. And I know that I can go into a group of people and be super chatty and energetic but it takes it all out of me and I spend the rest of the day recovering. Ay ay ay. Hmmm....very interesting, indeed. Thank you for this insight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yes. My daughter is like this. She is NOT an introvert, but she gets herself so wound up and riled up that it's like she craves the stimulation she gets from it, that being around the family isn't fun and exciting enough. She also gets herself so tired out because she is 110% ON at all times around her friends, noticing every little word and gesture, taking on their mannerisms, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I found this to be common at our house. I always told them if they can't be nice at home after being with friends that they needed to spend more time at home. ;) I wonder if they just get tired and wound up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Is it possible that she's just less well-behaved when she's tired? It takes LOTS of energy to run with a pack of kids all day. I'll bet she sleeps well. :) :iagree: We generally don't hang out with any "hooligans" or such but the kids can still end up a bit "bouncy" afterwards as they get wore out and grumpy. Also, when playing with friends they don't tend to eat as much as usual because they are busy, which also makes them grumpy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Long, busy days make most people crabby at the end. My kids' behavior was mostly pretty whiny after a long day at the beach, with me. Too many cookies and no peanut butter (or other decent protein) also makes for cranky kids. Even a day spent with nice homeschooling friends is exhausting. Hours of negotiation fries a brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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