Cat People: Help me with our Kitten!

[BrookValley.]

This might be long, but any ideas are appreciated. I hate having to admit that I'm out of my element with, well, anything, but I'm sinking fast here.

 

We're animal people, through and through. Always have at least two dogs, live on a farm with horses, goats, chickens, geese, ducks, etc., etc. This past Januay, we decided to get an inside cat (we do currently have several cats, but they are a trapped/neutered/released feral sibling group that rules the barn--not indoor pets. Only one will even let us near her). I had never had a cat, but my husband did as a teenager, and he really enjoyed her. Because my husband came into our relationship with me already having most of the above animals, I thought it would be nice if we got a pet that was more his idea. And no big deal, right? One little cat? Like I said, we are experienced animal people. I have a lot of experience training dogs and horses. What is one cat to add to the mix? We live in a state of organized chaos, and that's just fine.

 

Oh. My. Word. I'm going to go ahead and admit this--don't tell anyone--but we are in over our heads with this cat, and I just don't know what to do.

 

First, the cat is a Bengal. Very high energy and very intelligent. Now, this is not the problem, per se. We did a LOT of research before we brought this kitten home. We wanted a cat with a very outgoing, very high-energy kind of personality, because our home is a loud, high-energy home. We didn't want to bring home a cat that would want to hide under the bed its entire life. So the fact that the cat can literally climb wallls, jump to the top of my refrigerator, open cabinets and faucets, and dismantle pretty much anything he wants in 30 seconds or less is really quite OK. We were prepared for that. In the time it took me to type to this point, he's opened his Kong ball (a two-piece hard plastic ball that has a catnip and treat compartment), forced the baby gate out of position on the stairs for the express pleasure of watching it fall, knocked my salt and pepper shakers off the counter, and somehow managed to get some trash out of the trash can (it's in a cabinet locked with a baby safety latch). I'm cool with all that. Our house is mostly cat-proof, he has lots of toys, and we try to help him burn his energy as best we can. He even has a harness and we try to take him for walks outside.

 

The real problem is he not only plays hard around the house, he tries to play really, really rough with us, and I don't know how to direct his energy elsewhere when he gets in this mode. He doesn't try it too much with my husband and me, but my five-year old son is his favorite target, and I see the appeal. He's young and lively and jumps and moves around all the time--just like a big kitten! My son is actually the cat's favorite companion. He wants to lay with him in bed, follows him around everywhere--even the bathtub--and cries most mournfully when my son goes outside. But when I say he plays rough, I mean brutal and downright violent. He is a big kitten (nearly 9 pounds) and will launch himself full-force at my child's head, wrap himself around his neck, and bite him and scratch him with all he has. He can take my kiddo down to the ground with the shear force of his launch, and often breaks the skin with his claws or teeth. He is trying to play rough-and-tumble with my son like he would another cat, but he needs to learn he can't. That's where I'm stuck--I am having no luck teaching the cat that he cannot play with my son like that. To compound the problem, I am pregnant, and it goes without saying that I cannot have the cat attacking a newborn this way.

 

Since typing the above, he has de-strung my kiddo's yoyo and carried my truck keys off to the living room. :glare:

 

The cat is intelligent and very teachable, but I obviously have not latched onto the appropriate method yet.

 

Things we have tried:

• Firm "no!" (he knows the meaning of the word. This works for me or my husband, but not he kidlet)
  
• Re-directing with toys if we see he's getting that "look" (only works if we notice he's gone into attack mode)
  
• Trying to keep him entertained/making sure he gets lots of play and excercise
  
• Squirt bottle (again, only works if we catch him the act--I may try again when I can take a solid day or two to keep the bottle with me at all times)
  

Anyone who has read this far and has any ideas for me, I'd be most appreciative. :)

[2girls4us]

Could you get another kitten? We brought 2 kittens home in September and I can't imagine what it would be like if they didn't have each other to rough house/romp/chase/stalk, etc.

[jhschool]

I know people are going to be against this, but if you teach your 5-year-old

to give the cat a firm swat, or if you

swat the cat one firm one when he is biting and scratching your son's face, that will make him stop.

He is an animal (don't get me wrong--I love animals and have 8 cats--2 of which are very smart and physical also) and that cat needs to learn that people are in charge and not for attacking. One firm swat any time he bites your son's face and you won't have to give the cat away.

Sorry if I have offended sensitive people but I am working in the interest of the cat; once it starts biting the newborn I bet it will have to find a new home. Train it now.

[ColoNative]

I know people are going to be against this, but if you teach your 5-year-old

to give the cat a firm swat, or if you

swat the cat one firm one when he is biting and scratching your son's face, that will make him stop.

He is an animal (don't get me wrong--I love animals and have 8 cats--2 of which are very smart and physical also) and that cat needs to learn that people are in charge and not for attacking. One firm swat any time he bites your son's face and you won't have to give the cat away.

Sorry if I have offended sensitive people but I am working in the interest of the cat; once it starts biting the newborn I bet it will have to find a new home. Train it now.

 

:iagree: Even a small flick on the nose - doesn't really hurt, but does surprise the cat.

[Pippen]

I know people are going to be against this, but if you teach your 5-year-old

to give the cat a firm swat, or if you

swat the cat one firm one when he is biting and scratching your son's face, that will make him stop.

He is an animal (don't get me wrong--I love animals and have 8 cats--2 of which are very smart and physical also) and that cat needs to learn that people are in charge and not for attacking. One firm swat any time he bites your son's face and you won't have to give the cat away.

Sorry if I have offended sensitive people but I am working in the interest of the cat; once it starts biting the newborn I bet it will have to find a new home. Train it now.

 

I was one of those people who was against it with our orphan kitten (who was similarly energetic) and went after everything that moved. My husband had no such qualms and would give him a thump if he started to bite or scratch. The end result is that the cat is better behaved and tolerant with my husband, even now six years later.

[kengjw]

We have a cat too but she is a mellow cat so I do not have experience with one like yours. However, I would never allow any pets to potentially cause harm to my kids even if it is just "play". If I sense any threat to my kids, the pet has to go. I am not sure I could trust the pet with my kids again.

 

Julia

[momto10blessings]

I think that if our pet did that to my 5 yr old he would be done with the pet and so would I. That really sounds kind of scary :001_unsure: If a cat grabbed me like that I would be frightened. What will it do to a newborn baby? It's obvious a bit wild- is it worth the risk of the baby being attacked?

[BrookValley.]

I forgot to mention that we have considered getting a second cat, and it's something I'm still considering, but I'm very hesitant. Mostly, I'm afraid the cats will hate each other and/or won't be a good match personality and energy-wise. Then I'll have a second problem on my hands!

 

jhschool, I'm not offended by your suggestion, and I wholeheartedly agree that the cat needs to learn now what is appropriate and what is not! I don't want to teach my kiddo to hit the cat, however, because he's not going to differentiate between self-defense and just hitting any of the animals when they do something that annoys him (for example, I could see him hitting the dogs if he dropped a cookie and they got to it first). Also, it's not going to be effective. A couple of times I have given the cat a good swat when I've reached the breaking point, and the cat simply turns his attention to the offending hand because, oh joy! Someone else must want to play rough with me! So I'm pretty sure the cat would perceive my son hitting him as just encouragement for more rough behavior. I would have to hurt the cat to get the desired effect, and I'm not going to do that for several reasons, one of which is then I'd just have a fearful animal on my hands. IMHO, a fearful animal is a much more dangerous situation than the craziness I have on my hands right now.

[Laurie]

This happened to me when my first child was very young. A relative's cat had kittens and I agreed to take one but it became obvious right away that this was a mistake. The kitten was wild and doing things like trying to climb up my son's legs while he was sitting in the high chair. I knew I couldn't let my son keep getting scratched up so the kitten had to go.

 

In your situation, I would also find a new home for the cat. This isn't safe for your 5yo and won't be safe at all for a newborn. There's plenty of time to get another cat when your children are older. That's what I did, and when we decided to get another cat we opted to skip the kitten stage and take a 9 month old cat. This worked out better for us.

 

Do you have any single male relatives or friends who might be willing to take your cat? A bachelor pad might be the perfect new home for your cat.

[Pawz4me]

Kitty sounds very bored and under-exercised to me. Rather than wait for him to need redirecting, I suggest that you be proactive and try to tire him out before he gets to the point of needing redirection.

 

If you don't have a regular routine for exercising him, then I'm thinking this might be an excellent job for your 5-yo. All you need is a fishing pole type toy and a laser pointer (my very, very favorite cat toy). You'll need to teach the 5-yo how to safely use the laser pointer (i.e., never ever shine it directly into the cat's eyes or any person's eyes), but it's an excellent way to tire out a kitty. Ideally you'd give him some exercise time at least twice a day for 10 or 15 minutes. More is even better, of course. And using a laser pointer or fishing pole type toy gets him used to playing with things besides human heads.

 

Since he's smart and naturally active, you might also try teaching him to fetch. Many cats really enjoy it. Some cats are very good at learning commands and tricks, and the mental exercise of learning something tires them out as much or more than physical exercise.

 

If you do get the point of needing him to go, please contact a cat rescue. Most would have absolutely no problem rehoming a youngish purebred cat.

Edited August 20, 2012 by Pawz4me

[BrookValley.]

Re-homing the cat is something we have discussed. The cat cannot keep hurting my 5-year old, and I cannot have a cat attacking a new baby. However, I firmly believe that most animal behavior problems are caused by humans. I would feel like a pretty disgusting human being if I just decided to get rid of the cat as if it were disposable because I couldn't work out the problem.

 

Despite the attacks, my kiddo LOVES the cat. Part of our problem is my son needs to learn that he cannot, unitentionally or intentionally, encourage the cat in his rough behavior. Sometimes it is just the movement of a youngster that tempts the cat, but my son also does tempt the cat on purpose (we are working on this A LOT). So it is not just an issue of not trusting the cat, the kiddo is also guilty. This is another reason why I want to try to work things out. It's not all the cat's fault. He lives with a 38-pound "kitten" that tempts him all the time!

[Lizzie in Ma]

There was a great episode of "My cat from Hell" about a bengal, lots of tips and tricks breed specific. Perhaps worth a look at?

I am sorry you are having issues.

[Pawz4me]

Despite the attacks, my kiddo LOVES the cat. Part of our problem is my son needs to learn that he cannot, unitentionally or intentionally, encourage the cat in his rough behavior. Sometimes it is just the movement of a youngster that tempts the cat, but my son also does tempt the cat on purpose (we are working on this A LOT). So it is not just an issue of not trusting the cat, the kiddo is also guilty. This is another reason why I want to try to work things out. It's not all the cat's fault. He lives with a 38-pound "kitten" that tempts him all the time!

 

And IMO it's an excellent opportunity to teach your son that you just don't give up on something you've made a commitment to because it's a little more challenging or more work than anticipated.

 

As far as teaching your son appropriate play -- see my post above about toys for the cat. Teach him to use the toys to play with the cat properly. Most little kids LOVE playing with cats using laser pointers, and I have a feeling such an active cat would be very entertaining.

 

Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting kitty in a room of his own or a large dog crate for a little bit of down time when you need it.

[BrookValley.]

Kitty sounds very bored and under-exercised to me. Rather than wait for him to need redirecting, I suggest that you be proactive and try to tire him out before he gets to the point of needing redirection.

 

If you don't have a regular routine for exercising him, then I'm thinking this might be an excellent job for your 5-yo. All you need is a fishing pole type toy and a laser pointer (my very, very favorite cat toy). You'll need to teach the 5-yo how to safely use the laser pointer (i.e., never ever shine it directly into the cat's eyes or any person's eyes), but it's an excellent way to tire out a kitty. Ideally you'd give him some exercise time at least twice a day for 10 or 15 minutes. More is even better, of course. And using a laser pointer or fishing pole type toy gets him used to playing with things besides human heads.

 

Since he's smart and naturally active, you might also try teaching him to fetch. Many cats really enjoy it. Some cats are very good at learning commands and tricks, and the mental exercise of learning something tires them out as much or more than physical exercise.

 

If you do get the point of needing him to go, please contact a cat rescue. Most would have absolutely no problem rehoming a youngish purebred cat.

 

Thank you. We have done all of the above, but I think you are right--we should set aside a good chunk of time each day and make it happen consistently. Wearing him out does help. He is smart and insanely active (he does love to fetch)! We do have a laser pointer and wand toy, which my son loves to use, though he still needs help to keep play time from getting out of control.

 

Re-homing him will of course be our last resort, but I would not hesitate to ask for help from a rescue if needed. If I had to place him somewhere else, I think he'd make a great cat for a single guy (like a previous poster mentioned) or an active couple of any age with no kids. He is super cool and really loves to be around people, not to mention he's really gorgeous.

 

There was a great episode of "My cat from Hell" about a bengal, lots of tips and tricks breed specific. Perhaps worth a look at?

I am sorry you are having issues.

 

I have seen that show advertised--thanks, I'll have to see if I can find that particular episode online or something!

[BrookValley.]

And IMO it's an excellent opportunity to teach your son that you just don't give up on something you've made a commitment to because it's a little more challenging or more work than anticipated.

 

As far as teaching your son appropriate play -- see my post above about toys for the cat. Teach him to use the toys to play with the cat properly. Most little kids LOVE playing with cats using laser pointers, and I have a feeling such an active cat would be very entertaining.

 

Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting kitty in a room of his own or a large dog crate for a little bit of down time when you need it.

 

This is in no small part why I am so upset and frustrated by this. I have had my share of very difficult animals over the years. All of my dogs have been exclusively pit bull or bully-breed rescues, and while I've had nothing but fabulous dogs, they are not lay-on-the-couch-all-day perfect angels! Talk about the need for exercise and mental stimulation. :tongue_smilie: I have worked with my share of difficult horses. So the work and commitment is not a problem, I've just really come to my rope's end about what to do about it. I've never, ever had the issue of re-homing an animal come up. :crying: I don't even like to mention that it's something we've discussed.

 

ETA: oh yes, the kitty has our master bathroom as his time-out place. He is comfortable there and will go without fuss, and we do put him in there when we need to. The bathroom is as big as a small bedroom and is completely furnished with bed, litter box, scratching post and toys.

[Laurie]

And IMO it's an excellent opportunity to teach your son that you just don't give up on something you've made a commitment to because it's a little more challenging or more work than anticipated.

 

.

 

I'm going to disagree with this when the safety of small children is involved.

 

When I would look through the listings of cats available through the local animal shelter there were some designated as not for homes with small children. I don't fault any parent who puts their children's welfare before an animal's.

 

I understand that the OP is an animal person and feels that she would be "a disgusting human being" for not keeping the cat. But she would feel much, much worse if one of her children gets scratched in the eye or worse. Even modern medicine can't fix everything.

[BrookValley.]

I'm going to disagree with this when the safety of small children is involved.

 

When I would look through the listings of cats available through the local animal shelter there were some designated as not for homes with small children. I don't fault any parent who puts their children's welfare before an animal's.

 

I understand that the OP is an animal person and feels that she would be "a disgusting human being" for not keeping the cat. But she would feel much, much worse if one of her children gets scratched in the eye or worse. Even modern medicine can't fix everything.

 

And that's why we have discussed re-homing him. I just believe it's the right thing to do to exhaust all other options before coming to that decision--if this is a problem that can be solved with a little effort or creativity, than that's what I need to do, but I do want to point out that I'm not suggesting that I am putting the cat's welfare before that of my child (not that I think you are suggesting that, just saying). It's just that, as someone who has dealt with a lot of rescue animals, I have to wonder how many of those animals in the rescues are there not because of some inherent personality or temperament issue, but because their people caused and/or failed to resolve their issue with a little work.

 

I have a dog that was dumped twice (long story) by the same people because she was destructive. The proper amount of excercise, appropriate outlets for her energy, and a crate when we're away from home is all she needs to be a really great dog. I understand hurting a child is different than destroying shoes, but the point that she just needed the solutions that worked for *her* still applies, I think.

[goldberry]

I'm going to disagree with this when the safety of small children is involved.

 

When I would look through the listings of cats available through the local animal shelter there were some designated as not for homes with small children. I don't fault any parent who puts their children's welfare before an animal's.

 

I understand that the OP is an animal person and feels that she would be "a disgusting human being" for not keeping the cat. But she would feel much, much worse if one of her children gets scratched in the eye or worse. Even modern medicine can't fix everything.

 

:iagree: I would give it a certain time limit to see improvement, then do what needs to be done.

[radiobrain]

This sounds sort of silly, but you could have your son carry around a damp washcloth that he can grab the cat with when it does this sort of thing. A modification of the squirt bottle.

 

It could then evolve into a dry washcloth, then no washcloth.

 

It will eventually grow out of the rambunctious phase. :)

 

Also, you could consider having the cat declawed... while not ideal, and cruel, it is better than being euthanized, not finding a new home, causing harm to your kids.

[Lara in Colo]

If you want to rehome, call me--I have ALWAYS wanted a Bengal.

 

I like the idea of the wash cloth.

I also like the idea of thumping the cat on the nose.

The aggressive behavior will only progress as the cat gets older.

Older means bigger, bigger means more damage to you.

 

My kitten was this was too, and we thumped her on the nose. She is a year old and only aggressive with the child that wouldn't make her stop as a kitten.

 

 

Lara

Edited August 20, 2012 by Lara in Colo

[sbgrace]

How difficult. :grouphug:

 

I don't know how much time you've got until the baby is born? I'd rehome if you can't nip this in time. It sounds like you'd probably do it if you must. I know it's hard but people do come first.

 

I lot of what I was thinking you've tried. It really sounds like consistent staying on top of him squirt bottle might be your best option to train right now. Can the 5 year old carry a bottle too? He does need to understand that this kitty has to be taught appropriate behavior and he needs to have a part (ie absolutely no rough play with that cat). It's for his safety, the cat's good, and the safety of the baby. Cat bites/scratches have a high incidence of infection.

 

I don't think another cat is a good idea. The same behavior with another kitten could be pretty bad imo. Does the breed interact well with other cats generally? I'm guessing possibly not. ETA: I see I might be wrong and another Bengal could help! I sure hope you find a good solution. I had never heard of a cat like this before!

 

As an aside, I absolutely love cats and have had them all my life but with tons of tears we rehomed ours when my son's allergy and allergy induced asthma made it necessary.

Edited August 20, 2012 by sbgrace

[Pawz4me]

I'm going to disagree with this when the safety of small children is involved.

 

I don't disagree at all that kids' safety comes first. But the OP has expressed her desire to try to keep the cat, and from what she's described I think that's very do-able in this situation. If not, I'm sure she's competent to make that decision, too.

 

When I would look through the listings of cats available through the local animal shelter there were some designated as not for homes with small children. I don't fault any parent who puts their children's welfare before an animal's.

As a pet rescue volunteer who spent this morning (like every Monday morning) taking care of shelter cats, I'm pretty sure that's said for the cat's protection much more so than for the protection of kids. Many, many cats are very skittish and don't enjoy being around small children. Cats like that would very likely spend their entire lives hiding if adopted into a home with small kids. Edited August 20, 2012 by Pawz4me

[Sarah CB]

Re-homing the cat is something we have discussed. The cat cannot keep hurting my 5-year old, and I cannot have a cat attacking a new baby. However, I firmly believe that most animal behavior problems are caused by humans. I would feel like a pretty disgusting human being if I just decided to get rid of the cat as if it were disposable because I couldn't work out the problem.

 

Despite the attacks, my kiddo LOVES the cat. Part of our problem is my son needs to learn that he cannot, unitentionally or intentionally, encourage the cat in his rough behavior. Sometimes it is just the movement of a youngster that tempts the cat, but my son also does tempt the cat on purpose (we are working on this A LOT). So it is not just an issue of not trusting the cat, the kiddo is also guilty. This is another reason why I want to try to work things out. It's not all the cat's fault. He lives with a 38-pound "kitten" that tempts him all the time!

 

You need to get another Bengal. They do much better in pairs. We have a brother and sister and they play hard together daily. I was at a pet store once and the woman behind the counter was talking about how challenging her Bengal was and how the breeder had recommended getting a second one - she was saving up for it.

 

I absolutely adore our Bengals. They are intelligent and fun and they're best friends. You need two :)

[momto10blessings]

I'm going to disagree with this when the safety of small children is involved.

 

When I would look through the listings of cats available through the local animal shelter there were some designated as not for homes with small children. I don't fault any parent who puts their children's welfare before an animal's.

 

I understand that the OP is an animal person and feels that she would be "a disgusting human being" for not keeping the cat. But she would feel much, much worse if one of her children gets scratched in the eye or worse. Even modern medicine can't fix everything.

 

:iagree:

[Sarah CB]

You need to get another Bengal. They do much better in pairs. We have a brother and sister and they play hard together daily. I was at a pet store once and the woman behind the counter was talking about how challenging her Bengal was and how the breeder had recommended getting a second one - she was saving up for it.

 

I absolutely adore our Bengals. They are intelligent and fun and they're best friends. You need two :)

 

Just want to add that our cats have never bitten us - well, not really anyway. Tony will bite while we're cutting his nails, but he doesn't actually clamp down. They don't scratch, either, unless they're springing off someone.

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm not an expert by any means, but I've had cats my entire life and I volunteer weekly with a kitty rescue organization, so here's my advice for what it's worth:

 

1. Like Sarah said, I was going to suggest getting another Bengals are highly social animals and tend to do much better in pairs....even more so than most other breeds.

 

2. Absolutely set aside time for regular play, as was already suggested. This is a must for spirited kitties. You'll wear them out with appropriate play and they'll be MUCH less likely to do the wrong thing.

 

3. Contrary to what others have said about discipline, I've been infinitely more successful with deterring bad behavior in cats with positive reinforcement. Invest in a clicker device and a ton of treats. Condition the cat that whenever he hears the clicker he'll get a treat. Give lots of treats, all the time, in response to the clicker, particularly when the cat is doing something you want it to do (during regular play time, scratching on a post, etc). When he behaves poorly, no treats. Instead, redirect him to a desired activity, then the clicker and the treats. Soon you'll be able to phase that out, just like I'm sure you've done with dogs.

 

Good luck! Bengals are AWESOME cats!

[AlmiraGulch]

I just found this episode of My Cat from Hell, about a Bengal with attack issues. I haven't watched it but maybe it will help.

[BrookValley.]

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for taking the time to respond. I appreciate every response!

 

I'm going to check out that "my cat from hell" video. I'm just waiting for it to load.

 

I know I have already expressed my hesitation over getting another cat--if I could be reasonably sure it would help, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I'm scared! We actually asked the breeder when we got our kitten about getting two, and she insisted more than once that he would be fine without another cat. I was hoping he'd buddy up with one or more of the dogs, but he's not interested.

 

The other thing I think we need to do, though it will take some bit of effort on our part, is to build him and outside play yard. We have a small, extra bedroom on the first floor of our house that has a window facing our backyard. We could easily install a kitty window entrance/exit thingy and build a nice enclosure off it. It would be a nice shady place for it and he could hang out there whenever he wanted. The hard part is getting the actual project completed--the room itself is in severe need of decluttering (it's become our catch-all for stuff because we don't have any storage), and of course we'd have to build the enclosure itself. But the hubby is handy and it's not impossible. He would enjoy that very, very much and I think it would help a lot.

 

Thanks again, everyone. We're going to keep making an effort and see what happens. I have many months until new baby comes along, so hopefully we can make satisfactory progress in that time.

[lea1]

I know people are going to be against this, but if you teach your 5-year-old

to give the cat a firm swat, or if you

swat the cat one firm one when he is biting and scratching your son's face, that will make him stop.

He is an animal (don't get me wrong--I love animals and have 8 cats--2 of which are very smart and physical also) and that cat needs to learn that people are in charge and not for attacking. One firm swat any time he bites your son's face and you won't have to give the cat away.

Sorry if I have offended sensitive people but I am working in the interest of the cat; once it starts biting the newborn I bet it will have to find a new home. Train it now.

 

 

I would not advise this at all.....because I have tried it already and it made the situation worse.

 

I have had three Bengals. One of my 14 year old Bengals died so last summer we got another Bengal kitten who has turned out to be a little terror, compared to my first two, although not compared to the OP's Bengal, by the sounds of it.

 

My one year old sounds very much like your kitten, although she has already mellowed out a bit over the past year. She still has times that she will go after one of my 6 YO (almost 7) sons. It usually only happens when they try to play with her. Even though I have tried to tell them over and over, they just don't do it the proper way. They want to jump around in front of her, get in her face a bit (playfully) and touch her feet or tail or ears.

 

She has even attacked me when I have picked her up and she did not want me to. I have tried swatting her. She fought back and actually became more aggressive with me EVERY time.

 

Here are some things I have done to help the situation at our house.

 

For myself, I am more careful to read her body language before picking her up. I have also spent more time crooning to her in a sweet voice, petting her gently while she is on the floor or on a chair, etc. I have spent more time gaining her trust. I am also more careful about how I hold her and I can now better tell when she doesn't want to be picked up so I am very careful when I have to pick her up so she can bite/scratch me. But, since I have started playing with her more (always using a toy), petting her and talking to her in a sweet voice more, she is calming down. She is also getting a little older which I am sure helps.

 

For the boys, I have told them over and over never to play with her unless they use a toy. They still can't resist teasing her at times though and sometimes she will go after them like she would another kitten. 99% of the time, they were doing something to bring it on.

 

For the more rare (these days) occasion when she instigates it and goes after them, first they are now able to more clearly see her getting in that mode. They recognize how her the pupils of her eyes get real big and she gets in attack stance. The best thing they can do is to tell her no, move away quickly and ignore her. But make sure you are teaching your children not to interact with the kitten unless they are using a toy. If the kitten is very sleepy, then they could possibly pet it safely, depending on it's age.

 

The adults can show the children how to use a toy to play with the kitten (you probably already have) but I have found that young children and Bengal's really don't mix all that well. Now, by the time your soon-to-be infant is a toddler, the Bengal will likely have calmed down considerably.

 

I will say this though. I have had many cats throughout my lifetime and the Bengals have been, by far, my favorites. And they make wonderful companions as they age. My first two were a female and a male (actually I still have him). Both of my females were definitely MY cats. They wanted to be with me, would follow me from room to room and spent more time with me than they did with anyone else in the house. My male is a love bug with anyone and everyone. He has never met a person he didn't love and he is the most gentle cat I have ever seen.

 

When my two sons came home from Russia, they were 14 and 15.5 months old. This cat would let them crawl all over him. He would army crawl over to the ottoman and stick his head under it so they wouldn't squish his head but they would be all over the rest of him. One of my sons would lie next to this cat on the floor, holding the end of the cats tail, while sucking his thumb. This cat seems he is really half dog:). He has even stood on his hind legs, with his front legs on the window sill, and growled at someone coming in the squeaky front gate.

 

Anyway, they are awesome and I hope you are able to work out a solution.

[lea1]

And IMO it's an excellent opportunity to teach your son that you just don't give up on something you've made a commitment to because it's a little more challenging or more work than anticipated.

 

As far as teaching your son appropriate play -- see my post above about toys for the cat. Teach him to use the toys to play with the cat properly. Most little kids LOVE playing with cats using laser pointers, and I have a feeling such an active cat would be very entertaining.

 

Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting kitty in a room of his own or a large dog crate for a little bit of down time when you need it.

 

:iagree:This is very good advice.

[lea1]

If you want to rehome, call me--I have ALWAYS wanted a Bengal.

 

I like the idea of the wash cloth.

I also like the idea of thumping the cat on the nose.

The aggressive behavior will only progress as the cat gets older.

Older means bigger, bigger means more damage to you.

 

My kitten was this was too, and we thumped her on the nose. She is a year old and only aggressive with the child that wouldn't make her stop as a kitten.

 

 

Lara

 

Actually, when I talked to my vet about my Bengal kitten's aggressive behavior, he said "time"...."she will grow out of much of it" and after only one year I can already see a big difference.

[lea1]

How difficult. :grouphug:

 

I don't know how much time you've got until the baby is born? I'd rehome if you can't nip this in time. It sounds like you'd probably do it if you must. I know it's hard but people do come first.

 

I lot of what I was thinking you've tried. It really sounds like consistent staying on top of him squirt bottle might be your best option to train right now. Can the 5 year old carry a bottle too? He does need to understand that this kitty has to be taught appropriate behavior and he needs to have a part (ie absolutely no rough play with that cat). It's for his safety, the cat's good, and the safety of the baby. Cat bites/scratches have a high incidence of infection.

 

I don't think another cat is a good idea. The same behavior with another kitten could be pretty bad imo. Does the breed interact well with other cats generally? I'm guessing possibly not. ETA: I see I might be wrong and another Bengal could help! I sure hope you find a good solution. I had never heard of a cat like this before!

 

As an aside, I absolutely love cats and have had them all my life but with tons of tears we rehomed ours when my son's allergy and allergy induced asthma made it necessary.

 

We tried the squirt bottle too and it totally didn't work...or I should say it worked but very temporarily. These kittens are very smart. They know that it takes a person to run the squirt bottle so they know when to stop and run and when they can get away with something. I even went so far as to carry the squirt gun around the house with me at all times (attached to my shorts pocket) where I could easily grab it and squirt very quickly. I tried it over a long period very consistently. These cats are just too smart for this tactic.

[lea1]

I'm not an expert by any means, but I've had cats my entire life and I volunteer weekly with a kitty rescue organization, so here's my advice for what it's worth:

 

1. Like Sarah said, I was going to suggest getting another Bengals are highly social animals and tend to do much better in pairs....even more so than most other breeds.

 

2. Absolutely set aside time for regular play, as was already suggested. This is a must for spirited kitties. You'll wear them out with appropriate play and they'll be MUCH less likely to do the wrong thing.

 

3. Contrary to what others have said about discipline, I've been infinitely more successful with deterring bad behavior in cats with positive reinforcement. Invest in a clicker device and a ton of treats. Condition the cat that whenever he hears the clicker he'll get a treat. Give lots of treats, all the time, in response to the clicker, particularly when the cat is doing something you want it to do (during regular play time, scratching on a post, etc). When he behaves poorly, no treats. Instead, redirect him to a desired activity, then the clicker and the treats. Soon you'll be able to phase that out, just like I'm sure you've done with dogs.

 

Good luck! Bengals are AWESOME cats!

 

Wow, I wish I had seen this advice when mine was smaller. She is a bit too big now to be able to give treats all the time without her getting fat (I think).

 

I agree also with the idea of getting another Bengal. As long as they are about the same age and they are young, they will likely do well together. Our problem is that our kitten attacks our 14 year old constantly and he is now too old to really deal with it anymore.

[Mergath]

How old is your kitten, exactly?

 

I've had a lot of cats in my life, and they seem to go through phases like this when they're having a growth spurt or teething (especially when they're teething... ouch). If your kitten may be teething and wants to bite the heck out of you all the time, find something else for him to chew on. When mine are going through a growth spurt and acting psychotic, I find that giving lots of canned food or just plain old meat, along with plenty of exercise, does the trick.

 

Hitting them, I've found, doesn't help. It just seems to encourage them to attack more viciously.

 

Squirt bottles seem to be more effective, at least in my experience. But you have to keep it with you all the time, keep the cat in sight all the time, and squirt the little beast the second he bites or scratches.

 

Essentially, you should tomato stake your cat and wear your squirt bottle on a string around your neck. ;)

[BrookValley.]

The cat is just about 9 months old--so an older kitten, but still a kitten nonetheless.

 

I invested in a clicker today, along with a good supply of treats (freeze-dried 100% turkey...the only protein the poor cat can eat. He has IBS. I was thrilled to find it at PetCo). We're working on setting aside 10-15 minute playtimes, no matter what, and I think we're going to start making plans for an outdoor play yard. I'll move on to consistent squirt bottle use if need be, too. Just wearing him out consistently helps. I know he needs it, but it was good to be reminded. I know we weren't being as consistent as we needed to.

 

We have had no attacks so far today. Kitty is plumb wore out and laying flat out across the air-conditioning vent as we speak. :D

[Sarah CB]

Actually, when I talked to my vet about my Bengal kitten's aggressive behavior, he said "time"...."she will grow out of much of it" and after only one year I can already see a big difference.

 

I don't know... Mine are about 3 and they usually have a couple of "play times" during the day where they hunt and attack each other. They're very energetic and quite rough with each other. I haven't noticed that their play times have decreased over the years. They also love each other and sleep together - they really are best friends.

[Annie]

How is it that this thread has gone on four pages without any Bengal kitten pictures?

[ktgrok]

Could you get another kitten? We brought 2 kittens home in September and I can't imagine what it would be like if they didn't have each other to rough house/romp/chase/stalk, etc.

 

This is the best advice. You need another kitten. Also lots of play where you let the kitten attack moving things...like wind up mice and feathers on a string. Never ever play with the cat with your hands.

 

But yes, get another kitten.

 

also, was this kitten orphaned by any chance, or bottle fed? How old was it when it was separated from mama?

[AlmiraGulch]

The cat is just about 9 months old--so an older kitten, but still a kitten nonetheless.

 

I invested in a clicker today, along with a good supply of treats (freeze-dried 100% turkey...the only protein the poor cat can eat. He has IBS. I was thrilled to find it at PetCo). We're working on setting aside 10-15 minute playtimes, no matter what, and I think we're going to start making plans for an outdoor play yard. I'll move on to consistent squirt bottle use if need be, too. Just wearing him out consistently helps. I know he needs it, but it was good to be reminded. I know we weren't being as consistent as we needed to.

 

We have had no attacks so far today. Kitty is plumb wore out and laying flat out across the air-conditioning vent as we speak. :D

 

Excellent news! I'm sure everything will continue to progress for you (with some normal setbacks, of course) as long as you are consistent.

[BrookValley.]

I know, no pictures! I will try to load a few. I don't think I have many good ones on my computer. The other folks who have Bengals should post their pictures, too, if they happen to read this thread again!

 

To answer ktgrok's question: no, the cat wasn't orphaned or separated from mom too early. He didn't leave the breeder 'till he was 10+ weeks old, and he was one of at least 4 or 5 (don't remember exactly) in the litter. So he should have had ample opportunity to socialize like a young kitten should, with momma and littermates, and the breeders have a child as well.

[BrookValley.]

Here a few pictures of the offender...a baby picture and a couple recent ones.

[Annie]

He's lovely!

[catz]

:001_wub: he's adorable! Hope you can keep him occupied! I've had a number of kittens including one really wild feral. Time was always the best for them settling down. Very consistent squirt bottle use is good too.

[Pawz4me]

He's beautiful!

[Jeannie in NJ]

oh, a beautiful sink cat. Does he also like to drink from the faucet? I had one that loved a dripping faucet, he would cry until I would turn it on for him.

[BrookValley.]

oh, a beautiful sink cat. Does he also like to drink from the faucet? I had one that loved a dripping faucet, he would cry until I would turn it on for him.

 

Yes, he loves water from the sink...and the toilet. :glare: He loves to play in water, though he's not a fan of falling in the tub or shower, despite the fact that he manages to do just that pretty often. :lol:

[Remudamom]

You will never be able to properly train this cat. You should just send him to me. 8)

[BrookValley.]

You will never be able to properly train this cat. You should just send him to me. 8)

 

You might want to watch what you wish for. :lol:

[goldberry]

I had a cat that wasn't aggressive, but she followed us around everywhere demanding attention and meowing. I didn't want to get another kitten, because I thought I'd just have two meowing then.

 

Wrong!

 

These kitties exhaust each other and then collapse right next to each other after grooming to sleep. Best decision ever!

 

I did select said kitten very carefully based on personality alone, after three trips watching her at the shelter.