naturally Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Something happened. You've apologized a couple times. Are sincerely sorry. But apology doesn't seem to be accepted. What do you do? Do you still feel bad over it? Let it go? Apologize forever? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Let it go. :iagree: You apologized. How the person handles it is something you can't control. You tried to make it right. Move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 :iagree: You apologized. How the person handles it is something you can't control. You tried to make it right. Move on. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 :iagree: You apologized. How the person handles it is something you can't control. You tried to make it right. Move on. :iagree: There is nothing else to do, unless you can undo the problem or make restitution or whatever. If it's not that sort of situation and you've offered sincere apologies, then you will have to let it go and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Let it go. Yup. You cannot force someone to forgive. It may take time for them to work through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 It depends on the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 In most cases, I'd move on and let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Let it go. Move on. Consider yourself to be the bigger person because you have sincerely tried to do the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 1. Honestly examine the situation. Is the situation one where a simple apology should be sufficient? Or is it something that might cause a deeper undermining of trust 2. Find out their perception of the situation, if you can, and if they haven't already made you aware of it. Maybe there's some aspect that they think is obvious that you're not aware of. Maybe they have something else going on in their lives that makes them sensitive. 3. If it's clear that it's them and not you, let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) Let it go. How does the other person deal with anger? Do they stew over things? I stew! I need time and space to get over something. A sincere apology is appreciated and will go a long way in rectifying things, but I need to process through it and get it all out of my system before I truly forgive a person. If this person deals with things the same way, time and space is what they need. You've done all you can reasonably do. Edited August 14, 2012 by jujsky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 1. Honestly examine the situation. Is the situation one where a simple apology should be sufficient? Or is it something that might cause a deeper undermining of trust 2. Find out their perception of the situation, if you can, and if they haven't already made you aware of it. Maybe there's some aspect that they think is obvious that you're not aware of. Maybe they have something else going on in their lives that makes them sensitive. 3. If it's clear that it's them and not you, let it go. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 We can't know the situation but in some cases, it's just not possible to forgive on demand. I agree with the others. You've apologized and there isn't anything else you can do if this person isn't yet ready to forgive you. It's a sad situation, but you might just need to let it go and give the other person time to come to terms with the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Yup. You cannot force someone to forgive. It may take time for them to work through it. Depending on what the offense was, a person might actually forgive and still want the relationship dynamic to change or even end. That is a legitimate option depending on circumstances. (Obviously not saying it is here because I don't know details and it's up to the offended to decide that. Letting it go may mean letting the relationship go as well. :( ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 :iagree: 1. Honestly examine the situation. Is the situation one where a simple apology should be sufficient? Or is it something that might cause a deeper undermining of trust 2. Find out their perception of the situation, if you can, and if they haven't already made you aware of it. Maybe there's some aspect that they think is obvious that you're not aware of. Maybe they have something else going on in their lives that makes them sensitive. 3. If it's clear that it's them and not you, let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 You need to move on. When the person is open to having a friendship or working relationship again they will let you know. Some people take a lot of time to heal and forgive. People can be fragile in ways you never knew about. You have no way of knowing, but whatever you did may have been perceived as bullying to a person who was bullied a lot as a child or it may have opened an old deep wound. You may not have meant to do these things, but the person who experiences this may need a lot of distance to recover. It could take months or years to be OK. And they may forgive you, but not be able to really work with or be friends with you again beyond a superficial level. So, if you have asked forgiveness and are truly sorry then it's in the other person's court. Understand for unknown reasons, the other person may not be able to move forward with you. And you need to let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 :grouphug: Let it go. You can only control yourself, and there is no since in hanging on to something for which you have tried to make amends. We all make mistakes and say things that inadvertently hurt others, and all we can do is tell them we are truely sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I agree with all the PPs. You being ready to apologize doesn't make the other person ready to accept it. You are done. You did what you could and now it is up to them. Some people are never able to forgive. You can't help that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) That is tricky. I had someone make a sincere and heartfelt apology to me, yet I could never see the person the same way again. I am friendly if we meet, but I never make contact on my own. Thinking about what happened still makes my heart beat crazily, and it's been several years. I avoid the person so as not to put myself through the memory. There isn't anything this person could do to make it right for me. It was far too emotional. It's my issue, and my baggage. At this point, it's about them, and not you, kwim? Edited August 14, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 You need to move on. When the person is open to having a friendship or working relationship again they will let you know. Some people take a lot of time to heal and forgive. People can be fragile in ways you never knew about. You have no way of knowing, but whatever you did may have been perceived as bullying to a person who was bullied a lot as a child or it may have opened an old deep wound. You may not have meant to do these things, but the person who experiences this may need a lot of distance to recover. It could take months or years to be OK. And they may forgive you, but not be able to really work with or be friends with you again beyond a superficial level. So, if you have asked forgiveness and are truly sorry then it's in the other person's court. Understand for unknown reasons, the other person may not be able to move forward with you. And you need to let it go. :iagree: Let it go, let her be. Sometimes this is the way things have to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) . Edited August 17, 2012 by Northwest_Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 :iagree: You apologized. How the person handles it is something you can't control. You tried to make it right. Move on. :iagree: as well :grouphug: I'm sorry this person hasn't forgiven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 There are lots of things that could be happening. They could have accepted your apology, but are protecting themselves so that it doesn't happen again. They could need more time. They could think the offense is unforgivable. or they could be holding a grudge. You just don't know. I would make sure the apology fits the offense and then move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 You need to move on. When the person is open to having a friendship or working relationship again they will let you know. Some people take a lot of time to heal and forgive. People can be fragile in ways you never knew about. You have no way of knowing, but whatever you did may have been perceived as bullying to a person who was bullied a lot as a child or it may have opened an old deep wound. You may not have meant to do these things, but the person who experiences this may need a lot of distance to recover. It could take months or years to be OK. And they may forgive you, but not be able to really work with or be friends with you again beyond a superficial level. So, if you have asked forgiveness and are truly sorry then it's in the other person's court. Understand for unknown reasons, the other person may not be able to move forward with you. And you need to let it go. :iagree: I also agree with LibraryLover sometimes things cannot be the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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