dm379 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 A couple of days ago dd came home with her hand dripping in blood. The neighbor kid, age 7, had hit her several times with a piece of pipe. I took her to the ER and got her 3 stitches and she's fine. After I calmed down, I went over there and her father assured that he had "beat her" and she was grounded for a week. And he not-so-vaguely hinted it was all my dd's fault anyway. I told him nicely that she was not to come near either of my kids again and he agreed. Two days later she's in our yard playing with ds. She's knocking on the door asking to play with the kids and leaving trash in my yard. I went over there yesterday and the father assured me again that she was grounded and he would take care of it. This morning at 7 a.m. guess who is at my door. How do I get this kid to leave us alone?? I've been rude to her in the past telling her flat out not to come back but a few hours later she's back. I thought about threatening to call the cops on her but we live in a tiny town and half the police force lives on our street and she knows they're nothing to be scared of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Did you allow her to stay, two days ago when she was playing with your son? I would run her off EVERY time I saw her approaching my house. Also, I didn't see how old your son is, but I would tell the children they need I say "I can't play with you." and come inside when she shows up. Or even just come inside and get you, and you remind her they can't play with her, when she shows up. I wouldn't worry about being nice, and I'd be extremely vigilant (watching my yard in case she showed up) if I'd had to take my kid to be sewed up because she beat them with a pipe. She is a danger. I probably would have called the police. The dad sounds like he is telling you what he thinks you want hear, I have a hard time believing he's addressing it. If she were mine, she'd be on a very short leash - no way could she wander back to your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Did you allow her to stay, two days ago when she was playing with your son? I would run her off EVERY time I saw her approaching my house. Also, I didn't see how old your son is, but I would tell the children they need I say "I can't play with you." and come inside when she shows up. Or even just come inside and get you, and you remind her they can't play with her, when she shows up. I wouldn't worry about being nice, and I'd be extremely vigilant (watching my yard in case she showed up) if I'd had to take my kid to be sewed up because she beat them with a pipe. She is a danger. I probably would have called the police. The dad sounds like he is telling you what he thinks you want hear, I have a hard time believing he's addressing it. If she were mine, she'd be on a very short leash - no way could she wander back to your house. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriK Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I would go and file a police report about the pipe/hand incident. Since you have ER records, the police should treat this as more than just two kids not getting along. Since the Dad isn't following through, I would make the report so there is a written history on file at the police station. Making a report might cause the Dad to keep an eye on his kid, but even if it doesn't phase him, it will start a written trail that shows a history of her behavior and that might come in handy down the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 You need to involve the police. File a report. The officer can read between the lines and do the neglect/abuse investigation. The line I used on violent children was " People that hurt other people on purpose can't play at my house. You have to go home now." It is not rude imho. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Didn't the hospital file a report when your child was assaulted to the point of needing stitches? If not that was the first mistake. Call the police they will ecleast go to the childs home telling the parents to keep the kid away. After that if it continues call them every single time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Share Posted July 16, 2012 Did you allow her to stay, two days ago when she was playing with your son? I would run her off EVERY time I saw her approaching my <a class="inlineAdmedialink" href="#">house</a>. Also, I didn't see how old your son is, but I would tell the children they need I say "I can't play with you." and come inside when she shows up. Or even just come inside and get you, and you remind her they can't play with her, when she shows up. I wouldn't worry about being nice, and I'd be extremely vigilant (watching my yard in case she showed up) if I'd had to take my kid to be sewed up because she beat them with a pipe. She is a danger. I probably would have called the police. The dad sounds like he is telling you what he thinks you want hear, I have a hard time believing he's addressing it. If she were mine, she'd be on a <a class="inlineAdmedialink" href="#">very</a> short leash - no way could she wander back to your house. No I kicked her out as soon as she got here. Her brother and both my kids get along great so she comes around with him. I feel like I'm keeping my kids shut inside because they like to roam the street and she follows them everywhere. When she is near, they have to come inside. I think this afternoon I'll have a chat with one of the cops on the street. I know one in particular is having trouble with her too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 That's such a hard position to be in, feeling like you are punishing your own children because no one will control her. :grouphug: Go to the police. I'm not sure how a restraining order would work for a minor, but I'd ask if there is such a thing. Your children shouldn't be the ones being restricted, and she needs to be prevented from hurting other children. It sounds to me like she has become a neighborhood terror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 File a report for the pipe incident. The kid sounds possibly abused to me and may need help. You cannot directly help because you have to protect your kids from bullying. The report could spark some investigation. Your neighbor said he "beat" his kid (may be nothing, may be abusive) and the kid's behavior has some definite red flags. Specifically, it is not normal for kids to beat their friends with a pipe and send them to the ER, and the frequency and times of the visits after laying clear boundaries. If the bullying and violence continue, you will NEED that report. A chat with a police officer is not going to give you the paper trail you need. File a report. If you are concerned about your relationship with the neighbor, don't be. The "friendly" neighborhood relationship has already been broken. This kid may need help in a possibly abusive situation, and your kids need the protection from bullying. File the report asap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 File a report for the pipe incident. The kid sounds possibly abused to me and may need help. You cannot directly help because you have to protect your kids from bullying. The report could spark some investigation. Your neighbor said he "beat" his kid (may be nothing, may be abusive) and the kid's behavior has some definite red flags. Specifically, it is not normal for kids to beat their friends with a pipe and send them to the ER, and the frequency and times of the visits after laying clear boundaries. If the bullying and violence continue, you will NEED that report. A chat with a police officer is not going to give you the paper trail you need. File a report. If you are concerned about your relationship with the neighbor, don't be. The "friendly" neighborhood relationship has already been broken. This kid may need help in a possibly abusive situation, and your kids need the protection from bullying. File the report asap. Exactly. Your poor baby :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 File a report for the pipe incident. The kid sounds possibly abused to me and may need help. You cannot directly help because you have to protect your kids from bullying. The report could spark some investigation. Your neighbor said he "beat" his kid (may be nothing, may be abusive) and the kid's behavior has some definite red flags. Specifically, it is not normal for kids to beat their friends with a pipe and send them to the ER, and the frequency and times of the visits after laying clear boundaries. If the bullying and violence continue, you will NEED that report. A chat with a police officer is not going to give you the paper trail you need. File a report. If you are concerned about your relationship with the neighbor, don't be. The "friendly" neighborhood relationship has already been broken. This kid may need help in a possibly abusive situation, and your kids need the protection from bullying. File the report asap. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I agree with making a paper trail with the police. We used to have a neighbor boy who ran the general area and was completely unsupervised. I was the only mother who enforced boundaries with him as far as I know. He used to "escape" from his parents, his babysitter, ect. He was just unloved and unsupervised and it had gone on too long before I met him to be a positive influence in his life. People began calling the police for different things and although he was never removed from his home his parents began to keep him home better. That is probably the most you can hope for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Hit dad in the pocket book: send them a bill for the ER. Gear up for small claims court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I wouldn't be letting my kids play with her brother, either. :grouphug: I like what Heighho said about the police "reading between the lines" and investigating the dad, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I like what Heighho said about the police "reading between the lines" and investigating the dad, too. I agree, I am concerned about the combination of the dad saying he "beat her" while she is being violent towards other kids. It sounds like something she is picking up at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 Small update. Somehow the kid got ahold of my phone number. Today alone I've gotten 14 or so calls from her. I made a complaint to the police yesterday afternoon and they said there wasn't really anything that could be done because of her age. I'll make another one later today when I have time. Seriously pissed now. And to whoever suggested it, there's no medical bills. Insurance covers everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 What you need to do is tell the dad you're involving your lawyer. That usually does the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 You should have some paper work from the hospital, giving a copy to the police to go along with a report would help. Also, you might call your insurance company and explain why you were at the hospital. They might say nothing, but they could possibly go after the father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Small update. Somehow the kid got ahold of my phone number. Today alone I've gotten 14 or so calls from her. I made a complaint to the police yesterday afternoon and they said there wasn't really anything that could be done because of her age. I'll make another one later today when I have time. Seriously pissed now. And to whoever suggested it, there's no medical bills. Insurance covers everything. Police are giving you the run-around. Insist that they take a report on BOTH the pipe incident and the calls. Show them the hospital paperwork. Be persistent--it's important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Police are giving you the run-around. Insist that they take a report on BOTH the pipe incident and the calls. Show them the hospital paperwork. Be persistent--it's important. :iagree: Especially with it escalating. You need your side recorded now, by an official. From here (phone calls) the next step is for her to make false allegations against your dc or yourself. Seriously, filing a report is self-defense, because she is sounding unstable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 :iagree: Especially with it escalating. You need your side recorded now, by an official. From here (phone calls) the next step is for her to make false allegations against your dc or yourself. Seriously, filing a report is self-defense, because she is sounding unstable. :iagree: The police most certainly can do something; they're just hoping you won't make a fuss. Make a fuss. A big one. And keep a journal, documenting every single incident, visit, and phone call. It's very important! For all you know, the next thing this kid will do for attention is accuse your dh or one of your kids of some sort of s*xual abuse, and you can be sure the police will take that seriously. You really need to be pro-active and vigilant about this, or things could go terribly wrong for you. The kid sounds unstable, and her father may be abusive. Personally, I think you might very well be doing this child a favor by calling DYFS and letting them know exactly what's been happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 :iagree: The police most certainly can do something; they're just hoping you won't make a fuss. Make a fuss. A big one. And keep a journal, documenting every single incident, visit, and phone call. It's very important! For all you know, the next thing this kid will do for attention is accuse your dh or one of your kids of some sort of s*xual abuse, and you can be sure the police will take that seriously. You really need to be pro-active and vigilant about this, or things could go terribly wrong for you. The kid sounds unstable, and her father may be abusive. Personally, I think you might very well be doing this child a favor by calling DYFS and letting them know exactly what's been happening. Yes. I have seen this happen before when a friend in elementary school stopped playing with two other girls. The similarities here are scary. That ended after years of court and the family had to move out of state (it does not matter to the community if you are acquitted, they just assume you got away with it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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