Vent: Friends who only seem to want to be you friend...

[PrincessMommy]

so they can invite you to their home/direct-sale parties. :glare:

 

Vent off - you may go back to your regularly scheduled programs......

[PrincessMommy]

oops... sorry about the typo in the title.

[Soror]

I guess I put off a cheap or frugal vibe :) Try to look more poor :) Talk about patching your underwear and cloth tp, they'll get the hint :)

[amyable]

Talk about patching your underwear and cloth tp, they'll get the hint :)

 

:lol: I think I'll try that.

 

 

I hear you on the venting - that really bugs me, and what I hate the most is when people who used to be friends for a long time *before* they became sales/partypeople, who now only talk to you or invite you over for things related to their business.

[Dandelion]

I hear you.

 

I finally got off one "friend's" sales mailing list after years of asking to be removed, and just got an invitation to another party from another "friend" whom I haven't heard from in two years. She apparently moved to another state (never heard about the move), but I'm still on her mailing list. Yay. :rolleyes:

 

It's obnoxious.

[snickelfritz]

Most of my friends handle it fine. They give an invitation and back off if you aren't interested.

 

I did have one aquaintance, who had never called me, until she started selling Mary Kay. Then I got routine calls, emails and mass invitations to her next spa day. I started avoiding her and I was so relieved when she moved.

[Farrar]

I can't stand that stuff. It just makes relationships uncomfortable and the vast majority of people don't even make decent money doing it (many lose money).

[skirch]

I hear you on the venting - that really bugs me, and what I hate the most is when people who used to be friends for a long time *before* they became sales/partypeople, who now only talk to you or invite you over for things related to their business.

This. Exactly.

[catz]

I have 2 SILs like this. Absolutely hate those parties!

[elegantlion]

The sad part is when someone you know and respect starts selling and you have a party and the only people you know to invite are people who also have had their own party. :lol:

 

I don't mind supporting someone in their business endeavor, but my circle of friends is usually their circle of friends too. One go round ended up more like the same group rotating through a series of parties at each others homes. I'm sure the hostess didn't make much off of us, but we had fun and she did too, I think.

 

The fun part was when my cat strutted by the lit candle on the coffee table and caught his tail on fire. Thankfully it got caught quickly. :lol:

[I talk to the trees]

 

I hear you on the venting - that really bugs me, and what I hate the most is when people who used to be friends for a long time *before* they became sales/partypeople, who now only talk to you or invite you over for things related to their business.

 

Yep. I have one of those. Didn't call or email for months until she started selling bags or something. Found out I wasn't really interested, and hasn't called back since. :001_rolleyes:

[FiveOaksAcademy]

:)

Edited June 20, 2012 by FiveOaksAcademy

[learningmama]

I had a friend in high school who was 2 years older than me. She graduated and I did not hear anything from her until a year later. She called me up, asked how it was going, and then asked to talk to my mom. She was selling knives/scissors that were super strong, could cut through a penny, etc. Mom even let her come over for a demo...I stayed in my room.

[SKL]

The day they start talking up Blue Algea is the day I have one less friend. :lol:

[Rebel Yell]

I understand these "friends" need to build their business. But I always get so disappointed when I get an envelope in the mail or a phone call- I think it;s going to be an invitation to a holiday party, a birthday lunch, coffee, a pool party.... anything. But it never is.

 

And once they realize I don't go to sales parties, and absolutely will not host one, the envelopes and phone calls stop coming.

 

At least then I'm not disappointed anymore. :glare:

[PrincessMommy]

I'm not into those home party things either.

 

But what really annoys me is that it seems like that's the only reason I'm their friend. :confused: Okay, I guess if I were still part of the "in" crowd who did FB perhaps I'd be a FB friend too.;)

 

Thanks for understanding everyone.

[Denisemomof4]

so they can invite you to their home/direct-sale parties. :glare:

 

Vent off - you may go back to your regularly scheduled programs......

 

Talk about a. Pet peeve of mine"....... I never go. Ever. i have mastered the art of saying NO, guilt free. Try it. You will LOVE it. :thumbup:

[Denisemomof4]

Oh, and what about the "Just come to socialize" line? Um..... No thanks.

[Denisemomof4]

I guess I put off a cheap or frugal vibe :) Try to look more poor :) Talk about patching your underwear and cloth tp, they'll get the hint :)

 

Ok, THAT is hysterical!!!!!!!:lol::lol::lol:

[Night Elf]

so they can invite you to their home/direct-sale parties. :glare:

 

Vent off - you may go back to your regularly scheduled programs......

 

I know, right?? And then when you try to sell something and invite them all to a party, none of them show up. No really, that happened to me. I had one person email that they wanted one item. No one actually showed up at my house and besides the one person I mentioned, no one even acknowledged that I was having a party! I started ignoring all of their party invites and they stopped talking to me. Hmph.

[Lady Florida.]

I can't stand that stuff. It just makes relationships uncomfortable and the vast majority of people don't even make decent money doing it (many lose money).

 

True. I've done two different kinds of direct sales (Avon and Princess House) and neither one was worth it for me. Oh, you can make money if you're willing to not have a life. With Avon I had actually started to make decent money because I had several people under me. The trade off wasn't worth it. My whole reason for becoming a rep was to be able to stay home with my son, but I ended up dragging my toddler all over town to deliver orders and hang catalogs on doors. This was, obviously, before representatives could have websites. We were strictly not allowed to sell online.

 

I have some friends who know I don't do parties, and it isn't uncomfortable because they don't approach me. I do get tired of seeing their facebook updates with nothing but sales pitches. They used to post interesting updates and family photos. Now it's all about the sales pitch.

[MrsBasil]

I'm not into those home party things either.

 

But what really annoys me is that it seems like that's the only reason I'm their friend. :confused: Okay, I guess if I were still part of the "in" crowd who did FB perhaps I'd be a FB friend too.;)

 

Thanks for understanding everyone.

 

 

All you'd get then is a ton of spam on FB about how amazing their product is, what "deals" they have going on, and blah, blah, blah. They would comment on your posts if they could work a sales pitch in.

 

I have a few FB friends who sell and, honestly, if I was in the market for their product I wouldn't buy it from them due to their tactics.

[PrincessMommy]

Talk about a. Pet peeve of mine"....... I never go. Ever. i have mastered the art of saying NO, guilt free. Try it. You will LOVE it. :thumbup:

 

Oh, I have no problem saying no to these. I hate them too.

[milovany]

On behalf of all those who are in direct sales but aren't like this -- I'm sorry. Please know, we're not all like what you're describing. I've been selling decorative vinyl for four years, now, and I don't believe my IRL friends would say I'm like what has been described (a couple of you know me IRL, so you can pipe up if you want to!). People opt to be on my list, and that's how I contact people. If they're not on my email list (which is opt-in), I don't mention my business unless it's in the normal course of conversation (my good friends know that I love what I sell, and that I sell it because it really fits with ME, so yes it might come up, but not in a sales-pitchy way).

 

As for making money, it is correct that the vast majority of DS people don't make much money at it, but for many, many of us, that doesn't matter. I don't make money at it. It's just something fun and productive to do, doesn't take much time, provides a service that a lot of people DO like and appreciate (I have almost 700 people on my email list, so some people DO like DS and home parties), and gives me a discount on my purchasing. I love that my company did away with quarterly sales quotas, giving us a yearly one instead (and a low one at that), so that I can stay active with very little effort.

 

I know there are DS people out there such as what you describe, because I see people say that out of frustration, but in the four years I've been in this business (and the longer I've known people in DS), I've not met many. I have met people who are enthusiastic about their "product," and who will give out information if the interest is there, but not people who push it and who only talk about what they sell. Again, I'm sorry for those you've met who've approached their business this way.

Edited June 21, 2012 by milovaný

[PrincessMommy]

All you'd get then is a ton of spam on FB about how amazing their product is, what "deals" they have going on, and blah, blah, blah. They would comment on your posts if they could work a sales pitch in.

 

I have a few FB friends who sell and, honestly, if I was in the market for their product I wouldn't buy it from them due to their tactics.

 

good point. I have a niece who is a realtor and all her updates were about how fantastic the market is. It got old fast.

[milovany]

All you'd get then is a ton of spam on FB about how amazing their product is, what "deals" they have going on, and blah, blah, blah. They would comment on your posts if they could work a sales pitch in.

 

I have a few FB friends who sell and, honestly, if I was in the market for their product I wouldn't buy it from them due to their tactics.

 

As someone in direct sales, my FB approach has been this: Separate personal and business. I actually don't make status updates on my personal account at all anyway (and don't have any friends on FB). I use my personal account to be active in some local swap groups and the national used curriculum swap group I started (linked in my signature tag), as well as an email alternative with some people. That's it. Then, separately, I also have a fan page for my business. People have to "opt in" (i.e., "like") that page so it's their choice to receive the notices I put out. On there, I post happily away. That's what it's for. I can see where tons of business notices on a personal page would get annoying (esp. if there's very little regular posting going on).

Edited June 21, 2012 by milovaný

[Guest]

On behalf of all those who are in direct sales but aren't like this -- I'm sorry. Please know, we're not all like what you're describing. I've been selling decorative vinyl for four years, now, and I don't believe my IRL friends would say I'm like what has been described (a couple of you know me IRL, so you can pipe up if you want to!). People opt to be on my list, and that's how I contact people. If they're not on my email list (which is opt-in), I don't mention my business unless it's in the normal course of conversation (my good friends know that I love what I sell, and that I sell it because it really fits with ME, so yes it might come up, but not in a sales-pitchy way).

 

As for making money, it is correct that the vast majority of DS people don't make much money at it, but for many, many of us, that doesn't matter. I don't make money at it. It's just something fun and productive to do, doesn't take much time, provides a service that a lot of people DO like and appreciate (I have almost 700 people on my email list, so some people DO like DS and home parties), and gives me a discount on my purchasing. I love that my company did away with quarterly sales quotas, giving us a yearly one instead (and a low one at that), so that I can stay active with very little effort.

 

I know there are DS people out there such as what you describe, because I see people say that out of frustration, but in the four years I've been in this business (and the longer I've known people in DS), I've not met many. I have met people who are enthusiastic about their "product," and who will give out information if the interest is there, but not people who push it and who only talk about what they sell. Again, I'm sorry for those you've met who've approached their business this way.

 

I thought of you, milovany, when I came into this thread. I know you do the UCL sales and I do hope and pray that you're not a pest or a pain to your friends and relatives.

 

BUT - I concur with the OP and others on what I see with home-party marketing. The far majority of direct-sales products are not competatively-priced, because the selling venue is not one where people can comparison-shop (in most cases). Direct-sales exploit friendships, IMO - the companies operating under that model are exploiting friendships. It also bugs me that companies using this model frequently target SAHM, giving them the pitch that they will "be home with their kids." This is NOT true! People in DS who make any sort of real money to live on must constantly shake the money tree and brow-beat people they know in order to keep the parties happening. You cannot do this and simultaneously "be at home."

 

That said - it is often true that DS-marketed products may be superior to something similar for sale in a store and it would be hard to know that it is superior if it were just sitting on the shelf at Target. There are a couple of DS companies whose parties I will go to if I'm invited, because I do like the products. I used to sell Tupperware years (and years and years) ago and honestly? I really love Tupperware a lot more than Rubbermaid or other readily-available plasticware.

 

I have been hassled by people who sell, though. There was one party I was just invited to by e-vite where you couldn't click "No" without also writing an actual reply. I found that very annoying. I'm not interested in making a babbling excuse, but I don't want to reject the inviter, either. So, I just typed, "No thanks." But that seemed like a rude response. I would rather the format allowed you to reply ONLY by pushing "No."

[El...]

I hate that!

 

A new acquaintance called me up a few weeks ago to ask me if I'd "help her out" in meeting a "challenge". The pitch irritates me. I've learned to say, "Oh! No! That's so sweet of you to think of me!" in my best drawl.

 

If I don't use the word "no" it just drags it out. If I go to the party I feel like I have to buy SOMETHING, so I'm learning to be bold in my own defense.

[milovany]

I thought of you, milovany, when I came into this thread. I know you do the UCL sales... blah blah blah

 

Oh, cool. Would you like to come to a party? I could send you a catalog and you could order from there.

 

:001_huh:

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

;)

 

:lol:

 

 

[On a more serious note, see next post :001_smile:]

Edited June 21, 2012 by milovaný

[milovany]

I thought of you, milovany, when I came into this thread. I know you do the UCL sales and I do hope and pray that you're not a pest or a pain to your friends and relatives.

Thank you. I really don't believe I am. I had my sister as a "mentor" (she was in DS long before I ever was), and she's not this way at all. Again, I invite anyone here who knows me IRL (3-4 people that I can think of) to say differently if they think this is not true.

 

BUT - I concur with the OP and others on what I see with home-party marketing. The far majority of direct-sales products are not competatively-priced, because the selling venue is not one where people can comparison-shop (in most cases). Direct-sales exploit friendships, IMO - the companies operating under that model are exploiting friendships.

 

I've never thought that my IRL friends/family will be the backbone of my business. I did ask friends/family to come to some of my first parties as I got started, but I think all successful DS people have to totally move out of that realm into the realm of other people who ARE interested in shopping this way. And there are a lot who do prefer the home parties and catalogs over going to the store. Maybe I've had an unusual experience, I don't know.

 

It also bugs me that companies using this model frequently target SAHM, giving them the pitch that they will "be home with their kids." This is NOT true! People in DS who make any sort of real money to live on must constantly shake the money tree and brow-beat people they know in order to keep the parties happening. You cannot do this and simultaneously "be at home."

 

I would agree with this if this is how the business is promoted. More often I see "set your own hours" which perhaps is more true than "stay at home and work." My sister only does parties on certain nights of the week; her hostesses have to make that work for them (and they do). I'll do a party almost any time, but since I only do a couple a year, that's no problem either. I personally DO do most of my work from home since I focus on individual sales at my website, and catalog parties. There's just such a wide variety of ways to run the business, it's not one-size-fits-all.

 

That said - it is often true that DS-marketed products may be superior to something similar for sale in a store and it would be hard to know that it is superior if it were just sitting on the shelf at Target. There are a couple of DS companies whose parties I will go to if I'm invited, because I do like the products. I used to sell Tupperware years (and years and years) ago and honestly? I really love Tupperware a lot more than Rubbermaid or other readily-available plasticware.

 

I very much agree with this. I don't need $40 baskets, but good quality cookware is nice. I personally thinking UL's quality is superior to what's on the shelf at Target, but as you say, it's up to people to do the research on that. I don't mind helping with that, but I'm also not an unbiased person in the search, either.

 

I have been hassled by people who sell, though. There was one party I was just invited to by e-vite where you couldn't click "No" without also writing an actual reply. I found that very annoying. I'm not interested in making a babbling excuse, but I don't want to reject the inviter, either. So, I just typed, "No thanks." But that seemed like a rude response. I would rather the format allowed you to reply ONLY by pushing "No."

 

UGH. Not cool. For me, every one of my emails ends with something like, "It is not my intention to email people who don't want to receive information about Uppercase Living. PLEASE reply with Remove in the subject line if you want off this list." (Again, they're ON my list because of having shown interest in the past, and if they want off I'm more than happy to oblige.)

Edited June 21, 2012 by milovaný

[MrsBasil]

As someone in direct sales, my FB approach has been this: Separate personal and business. I actually don't make status updates on my personal account at all anyway (and don't have any friends on FB). I use my personal account to be active in some local swap groups and the national used curriculum swap group I started (linked in my signature tag), as well as an email alternative with some people. That's it. Then, separately, I also have a fan page for my business. People have to "opt in" (i.e., "like") that page so it's their choice to receive the notices I put out. On there, I post happily away. That's what it's for. I can see where tons of business notices on a personal page would get annoying (esp. if there's very little regular posting going on).

 

 

That works great! I have no problem with *some* promotion on FB. I have an acquaintance who sells Thrive freeze dried foods. She makes a personal status update only when she gets a new catalog in. That's fine. I think someone active on FB could probably do one thing once a week and I'd barely notice.

 

My rant is directed at the people who spam your inbox, mailbox, and facebook page and treat you as if all you are is a sales opportunity.

 

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings and I'm really sorry that I appeared to be talking about all direct sellers, I know a few people who do direct sales and aren't pushy. That wasn't who I was talking about and I don't think those are who Princess Mommy was talking about either.

Edited June 21, 2012 by MrsBasil

[Denisemomof4]

On behalf of all those who are in direct sales but aren't like this -- I'm sorry. Please know, we're not all like what you're describing. By.

 

I am really sorry for being rude. I am especially sorry to anyone in DS I offended. I knew of nobody on this board who was in DS.

 

One of my best friends sells Tastefully Simple and is not like that at all. i was referencing more of my acquaintance type friends who really aren't friends, just making it seem like they are close friends to sell me, and others, on their party and/or product.

[MrsBasil]

Some examples about the type of people I am talking about.

 

Sign me up for their mailing or e-mail lists without asking.

Post 15-20 status updates per day about their business or links from their catalog.

Remind people every couple of hours in the 4 days before their order is due that their order is due and they need orders.

Talk about how hard it is to make money, be a SAHM, how tough the economy is and won't you help out just a little by buying from me this month, next month, every month?

Complain about people who look, but don't buy.

Reply to status updates with a sales pitch.

Ex: Heading out to the park with the kids. Anyone want to meet up?

Get a reply that says something like: If you're going to be out in the sun, don't forget the sunscreen. This month it's 30% through me, plus free shipping if you spend $50! What can I order for you?

 

Have things like this happen multiple times.

 

It does get tiring.

[milovany]

I am really sorry for being rude. I am especially sorry to anyone in DS I offended. I knew of nobody on this board who was in DS.

 

One of my best friends sells Tastefully Simple and is not like that at all. i was referencing more of my acquaintance type friends who really aren't friends, just making it seem like they are close friends to sell me, and others, on their party and/or product.

 

Oh, gosh -- I didn't think you were rude, and wasn't offended in the least!! Not by anything in this thread, at ALL. I was just commenting as someone who is in direct sales but who (I hope!) isn't like what has been described. I'm glad to know that you have had more positive experiences with friends in DS. I, too, don't like that feeling of being looked at with $$ in the eyes.

 

I guess I am somewhat sensitive when it starts to feel like the attitude is that most people hate home parties, and if these DS people would just get a clue, they'd realize no one can stand them), BUT that didn't necessarily happen in this thread. I've seen it before, though, in different places. I know some people do feel that way, but obviously many don't since DS is actually a pretty effective business model in a lot of respects.

[milovany]

Some examples about the type of people I am talking about.

 

Sign me up for their mailing or e-mail lists without asking.

Post 15-20 status updates per day about their business or links from their catalog.

Remind people every couple of hours in the 4 days before their order is due that their order is due and they need orders.

Talk about how hard it is to make money, be a SAHM, how tough the economy is and won't you help out just a little by buying from me this month, next month, every month?

Complain about people who look, but don't buy.

Reply to status updates with a sales pitch.

Ex: Heading out to the park with the kids. Anyone want to meet up?

Get a reply that says something like: If you're going to be out in the sun, don't forget the sunscreen. This month it's 30% through me, plus free shipping if you spend $50! What can I order for you?

 

Have things like this happen multiple times.

 

It does get tiring.

 

 

YES, that I can see. I agree that nearly all of the above is ICK and that I don't do this type of thing. The one exception for me is that if someone posts something like, "Does anyone know where I can get some zebra print decorations for my daughter's bedroom?" that I might reply with a link to the personalized zebra print monograms I can make for them. Hopefully that's not offensive; to me it seems to be giving pertinent information that they can then either use or not use. What do you think of this kind of situation?

Edited June 21, 2012 by milovaný

[MrsBasil]

YES, that I can see. I agree that nearly all of the above is ICK and that I don't do this type of thing. The one exception for me is that if someone posts something like, "Does anyone know where I can get some zebra print decorations for my daughter's bedroom?" that I might reply with a link to the personalized zebra print monograms I can make for them. Hopefully that's not offensive; to me it seems to be giving pertinent information that they can then either use or not use. What do you think of this kind of situation?

 

I think it's a completely different situation! :D Not offensive at all, because you're answering a question or helping.

 

Back to sunscreen, if I had said, "Does anyone know where I can find good quality sunscreen that works on the very, very pale?"

 

And I got a link from the seller for sunscreen, that would be fine.

 

Even, "Heading to the park, hope this new sunscreen works out for me and poor (DS). The last stuff did nothing.

 

And someone replied, "Hey the sunscreen I sell works really well for people who should probably just not leave the house when it's really sunny. It's 30% off for the next week, here's a link."

 

That would be fine. It's the pushiness or the butting in where it's just odd.

 

Or, ok. I have a friend that sells cell phone and cable plans somehow. I do not get it. She mentioned ONCE in a PM to remember her when it was time to renew contracts, because she'd probably be able to get us a discount. The only other time I've ever seen her post about her business is if someone asks about a cell phone provider or cable carrier. She just says she can help find a plan for their budget or find discounts for them and to message her if interested.

 

That is, in my mind, appropriate and not pushy. Same with what you did.

 

I hope I'm explaining myself clearly.

[Guest]

Oh, cool. Would you like to come to a party? I could send you a catalog and you could order from there.

 

:001_huh:

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

;)

 

:lol:

 

 

[On a more serious note, see next post :001_smile:]

 

:lol: You funny thing!

 

You know, I really love quotes and words for walls and have considered it before. The only reason I haven't done it....(look the other way, I'm about to sound petty and juvenile) is that 2 of my SILs who have incredibly fabulous houses have those in every room. I feel like I would be jumping on a bandwagon or trying to keep up with their beautiful homes. :tongue_smilie: So I haven't done it.

[milovany]

:lol: You funny thing!

 

You know, I really love quotes and words for walls and have considered it before. The only reason I haven't done it....(look the other way, I'm about to sound petty and juvenile) is that 2 of my SILs who have incredibly fabulous houses have those in every room. I feel like I would be jumping on a bandwagon or trying to keep up with their beautiful homes. :tongue_smilie: So I haven't done it.

 

This is a trick, right? You're trying to goad me into going into sales lady mode, right? I'm on to you! It's almost working <twitch twitch>.

 

PM me, if you want, about some non-word applications UL is coming out with that you might like if you don't want to go the word/quote route.

 

Darn. I failed, 'cause I'm kinda serious. Hopefully this falls under the context loophole mentioned above. :tongue_smilie:

[Crafty Mathy Mom]

 

 

I hear you on the venting - that really bugs me, and what I hate the most is when people who used to be friends for a long time *before* they became sales/partypeople, who now only talk to you or invite you over for things related to their business.

 

This happened to me a few weeks ago. An old "friend" called me up and invited the kids and me to her place to chat and catch up. I was so happy to have a chance to visit a grown up. The visit turned into a full scale sales pitch for Mary Kay. I felt used.