Trilliums Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 If you had a young teen girl (13 or 14 years old) and she and 3 of her friends wanted to camp out in your yard and sleep in a tent, would you let them? If so, what kind of rules would you have? Would you stay in the tent with them? Assume a safe neighborhood with very little traffic, but also with teen boys in nearby houses. Just wondering due to a conversation I had with a relative recently. I don't have girls and am wondering how I might have reacted to this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerbread Mama Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In our neighborhood, sure. Now, here, where DH has a work apartment. Probably not. At "home", we have more distance between neighbors and more privacy in our back yards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookfamily6 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I may be considered over protective but I wouldn't let my children. Things are a different now and I don't trust anyone. May sound paranoid but I say better safe than sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Not without a parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I don't have teen girls, but I suspect that if I did, they would want to be in a nice hotel, as I can't imagine my snobby imaginary daughters wanting to sleep outdoors. :D If I was faced with the situation, I'd say no if it was at another girl's house, but yes if it was at my house. I know that sounds awful and distrustful, but I would want to be there to keep a very, very close eye on the goings-on out in the yard, and I wouldn't necessarily trust another parent to stay up all night and do the same thing. It would also be nice to have a couple of big fierce-looking dogs out there with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 We have a pop up camper where the kids like to do sleepovers so I've had to think this through. When younger I'd sleep out there with them but once they're teens they don't want/need Mom. Here the girls will all have cell phones and flash lights and I give them the garage door opener. Plus they will be awake most of the night anyway. Because the girls are up much of the night that means we have a parent up most of the night as well. With the window cracked so I can hear. :bigear: As for rules, no wandering and be careful of food in the camper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 I don't have teen girls, but I suspect that if I did, they would want to be in a nice hotel, as I can't imagine my snobby imaginary daughters wanting to sleep outdoors. :D :lol: My boys would have little interest in camping out in general and see little point and sleeping in our own yard when their comfy beds are just a few feet away. Aside from that issue...should they happen to want to sleep in the yard, I was thinking DH would have to sleep out there with them. DH would want to drag the spare bed out there, and then the complications would just grow exponentially from that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Is it the camping out that's the draw or the neighborhood boys ? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 If it was in our backyard here, yes, without question. I let my kids camp in a tent out there now, but they are only 5 and 7--one boy and one girl, if that makes a difference. But for me, I'm not sure it does, since boys are everywhere...like, if the sleepover was instead at one of the teen girls' houses, and she had teen brothers, would you not let your girl attend? Genuinely asking, because someday DD will be a teen and will probable want to have sleepovers, and I'm sure DS will be around at that time because he, you know, lives here...will DD have a hard time getting her friends over for a sleepover because her friends' parents don't want a boy around? This thought has never occurred to me before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Where are now in this tiny town, yes no problem even though we have no fence. In my old city on a street with a gang and the yard backing onto an alley over my dead body. That said some of my favorite childhood memories are of sleeping in the tent in the backyard so if your area is safe and they can be trusted not to sneak away than go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Is it the camping out that's the draw or the neighborhood boys ? :D In this situation, it turned out there were some teen boys camping out near by. I am not sure which group had the camping out idea first, but the groups met up during the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 :lol: My boys would have little interest in camping out in general and see little point and sleeping in our own yard when their comfy beds are just a few feet away. Aside from that issue...should they happen to want to sleep in the yard, I was thinking DH would have to sleep out there with them. DH would want to drag the spare bed out there, and then the complications would just grow exponentially from that point. My dh would want to have a guest house built. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In this situation, it turned out there were some teen boys camping out near by. I am not sure which group had the camping out idea first, but the groups met up during the night. My imaginary daughters would be in big trouble if they pulled a stunt like that. I can't believe my pretend kids turned out to be such tramps. Where did I go wrong? I gave them the best couple of minutes of my life. :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 ...like, if the sleepover was instead at one of the teen girls' houses, and she had teen brothers, would you not let your girl attend? Genuinely asking, because someday DD will be a teen and will probable want to have sleepovers, and I'm sure DS will be around at that time because he, you know, lives here...will DD have a hard time getting her friends over for a sleepover because her friends' parents don't want a boy around? This thought has never occurred to me before. I have two teen boys and they are close friends with a girl in our neighborhood close in age. Even this girl's mom jokes about us taking a tax deduction for the girl because she is over at our house so frequently. Last year when my niece visited, The two girls hit it off and immediately asked about a sleep over. It was OK with me and OK with the neighbor's mom. My sons were not interested in staying up all night giggling over movies and they went to their bedrooms early. The girls stayed in the living room. So, in this case, there wasn't a problem. I think it depends on how well the families know each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyMama Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 My imaginary daughters would be in big trouble if they pulled a stunt like that. I can't believe my pretend kids turned out to be such tramps. Where did I go wrong? I gave them the best couple of minutes of my life. :svengo: :lol: This is so indicative of how hard we moms are on ourselves- you're beating yourself up over 6 minutes of imaginary bad parenting. :D To OP- nope, not here, but that's because we back to a nature corridor that is full of coyotes. Growing up we had a very enclosed, large backyard, but there we had stray cats that would "mark" us in the tent. You can tell I don't have teenagers, as the wildlife I'm concerned about are not teenage boys. I'm sure that will change eventually... I think I'll enjoy worrying about coyotes a few more years longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 My imaginary daughters would be in big trouble if they pulled a stunt like that. I can't believe my pretend kids turned out to be such tramps. Where did I go wrong? I gave them the best couple of minutes of my life. :svengo: Don't worry, you can practice on many more imaginary children. Eventually they will straighten out and bring you your favorite chocolates every Mother's Day. Or cheesecake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In this situation, it turned out there were some teen boys camping out near by. I am not sure which group had the camping out idea first, but the groups met up during the night. um, yeah. I did this when I was young. except it was about 4 or 5 groups and yes, we all met up in the night. it was all good. nothing happened just a lot of running around the nieghborhood. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Because of the neighbor boys, I probably would not let them sleep outside unless her older brother was able to set up motion detectors around the tent. ;) In a group of girls, at least one of them will likely have the idea that hanging out with the boys in the middle of the night is a good plan. OTOH, if it was just my dd and one other AND I felt like I could trust them both, I'd be fine with it. When I was a very young teen, my and my friend's parents occasionally let us sleep in our docked boat at the campground we went to on the weekends. At some point, and I can't remember how old we were, they stopped letting us do that and I'm sure it was because we were starting to notice boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeemama Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 um, yeah. I did this when I was young. except it was about 4 or 5 groups and yes, we all met up in the night. it was all good. nothing happened just a lot of running around the nieghborhood. Robin :iagree: same here. Just fun, nothing bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 A year ago I would have said yes. Now I'm not sure. Dd is developing a secretive streak and I'm not sure how I feel about that. It has only been a couple of months. We've had a few talks, but I'm still not sure if I'd let her and her friends camp out alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Sure - but they would know that hubby was in the closest room sleeping...with the window open.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 At my house, yes, without hesitation. We live in a rural area. Now, if I lived in town... absolutely not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Well, I did allow this last year. Two tents, I think it was 5-6 girls; it was my twins' 13th birthday. No boys anywhere. But I'm still not allowing it this year (much to my girls' dismay). They ran around the yard past midnight playing tag and giggling (not so bad), but then they all stayed up till 5am (just more giggling and storytelling). I went to bed around 3am (was on the couch next to the door before that). Apparently they got up sometime after that and came in and raided the fridge for pizza. Now, of course all that's innocent fun. But as they get older, I'm realizing that I just can't supervise them all night long, even if I or dh sleep near the door. I think I'm most worried about the chasing each other around in the dark - if someone falls and gets hurt, I'm liable. I'm happy with another sleepover, but indoors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In this situation, it turned out there were some teen boys camping out near by. I am not sure which group had the camping out idea first, but the groups met up during the night. Ah. So the issue here is not, in fact, the camping. It's the secrecy. To answer the OP's question, I'd absolutely allow a 13yr old dd of mine to camp in the backyard. My answer wouldn't change whether it was our yard or a friend's, unless the dd had otherwise proven herself to be untrustworthy or a poor decision maker. I can't imagine telling teens that they need to have a parent in the backyard, but then again, there's not a serious threat here from wildlife or criminals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Depends on the girls and the yard. I would consider it if they have expressed interest in camping apart from this sleep-over and the yard is somehow protected (by something like a fence or large size that provides privacy while still being in full viw of the parents.) If it looks more like a means to get away with things they shouldn't be doing, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In this situation, it turned out there were some teen boys camping out near by. I am not sure which group had the camping out idea first, but the groups met up during the night. Exactly why I wouldn't allow it. If any of the girls told her boyfriend, or any boy, it's all too easy for him to tell his buddies and crash the party in a tent. Peer pressure from the girl (especially if it's her party) may keep the rest from saying anything or leaving, even if they are uncomfortable with the situation. No, any teen girl slumber parties need to be inside the house where visiting boys have to limit themselves to making weird sounds outside the windows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Where are now in this tiny town, yes no problem even though we have no fence. In my old city on a street with a gang and the yard backing onto an alley over my dead body. That said some of my favorite childhood memories are of sleeping in the tent in the backyard so if your area is safe and they can be trusted not to sneak away than go for it. :iagree: When we were kids, we would spend the entire summer sleeping outside. My kids are excited for the nights to get warmer so they can start camping out on the trampoline. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In our yard, with the dog, no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 In our neighborhood, sure. Sounds like fun. Expect a lot of giggling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porque Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 We did do this, once. I thought I had been up checking on them through the night, but apparently not enough. They kept the neighbors up with their noise, and given the trouble one of the girls got into later in the school year there may have been alcohol involved (not even on my radar at the time so I didn't think to investigate), I don't think there were boys involved, but now I have something else to wonder about. So, yes, my daughter apologized to the neighbors and we did not to it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I'd probably be ok with it if I trusted the kids. I had a sister who liked to run around in the night. Being in a tent in the backyard or in the house was irrelevant - she wanted to go out and so she did. On the other hand, I went camping as a 15 year old in the woods with a few male and female friends. It was a lot of fun and there was no sex stuff or alcohol. A few of the girls tried smoking cigarettes (and later they even became serious smokers), but again, that was not really caused by the camping trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Yes, provided that I trusted the girls. My stepdaughter slept in our backyard a few times with her 7 best friends when they were in middle school. They also had sleepovers in the basement, and could have snuck out just as easily as they could leave the back yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 It would depend on the neighborhood. In our old one, probably not. In our current one, I think it would be fine. I would probably stick the dog out there with them for added safety and my own peace of mind. I wouldn't expect them to try to sneak off. Hadn't thought of that until I saw it mentioned in some other posts. I would probably limit it to a small group of girls that I knew well just to be sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Sure. In fact, that's where they sleep when they have friends over in the summer. Actually, all my kids sleep outside more than they do inside. It's the next best thing to camping they tell me. eta: I trust my girls and their friends. If I had reason to suspect one of them would run around at night, I don't know that they would be sleeping at my house anyway - indoors or out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I did. Right outside our open window. Several years later my daughter told me about all of their escapades roaming around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. I had no idea :001_huh:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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