PeterPan Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I was commenting to dh tonight that dd age 9 is going to get an "education" in lots of ways with this upcoming baby... He was uncertain of whether it's appropriate for an older sibling to "see" a young one, help change diapers, etc. Is there some kind of standard protocol for this? Any thoughts? And conversely, if you had an older ds, would you want him to change baby sis diapers? Is there an age where it's helpful and an age where it's too young? Does modesty factor in here? How do you handle it in your home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Honestly, I take all the help I can get around here! My dd11 has been changing diapers since she lil. sis was born 3 years ago. She now changes her almost 3 yo sister frequently (she is really pusing the potty training :D) and her newborn baby bro's diaper as well. My ds10 used to change lil sis's diaper when she was an infant...not so much anymore. He will change baby bro's diaper when necessary and if asked. Both dc are pros at diaper changing. Dd11 does get a bit freaked out when baby boy pees while she's changing him or worse...:001_huh: And, that has happened more than once! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I don't have a problem with siblings changing diapers but I think it should be the exception and not the rule. I don't really agree with older siblings doing a log of the parenting or cleaning up after younger siblings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My third (ds) was born when my oldest (dd) was 4 and second oldest (dd) was 2. We didn't have a changing table; I just kept a basket of changing supplies in the living room and another in my bedroom and just changed him on the floor or bed and my dds were usually with me. My oldest asked to help one day, and she helped from that point on. The 2yo would help get supplies and the 4yo would help wipe her brother's bottom, etc. By the time my fourth came around, my oldest was 7 and asked one day to try changing his diaper by herself. She did a great job, and she adopted it as one of her "chores" (when the baby was around 6 months old). If my oldest had been a boy and the baby was a girl, I would have allowed him to help as well. It is a great way to allow them to help and I think it helps alleviate some sibling rivalry and jealousy over the new baby when the older sibling is allowed to help with such day-to-day things. It shows that everyone in a family is loved and shows love to each other in different ways (I mean, what's a better way to show love than to wipe bowel movement off a butt?). It also helps the older sibling to see that he/she is growing up and can be trusted with more responsibility. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My kids helped with all aspects of babycare except for feeding, which they lacked the equipment for. It never occurred to me that it was inappropriate in any way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I've seen too many older sibs from large families doing the parenting while mom can socialize. I've also been a gentle ear to one of these girls. I'm sure it can work but I think parents should do the majority of the parenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I see no problem with it whatsoever. Baby's don't have modesty issues. I think it's fine to see the diaper area of the opposite sex. Kids learn that way. Brothers can learn to be good dads and help out with diapering and girls to be good moms. I think keeping the baby's bottom "secret" would be odd. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I've seen too many older sibs from large families doing the parenting while mom can socialize. I've also been a gentle ear to one of these girls. I'm sure it can work but I think parents should do the majority of the parenting. Hm, I don't think learning to bathe a baby or taking turns rocking the baby is really parenting. My kids used to fight over who got the baby. True, they never fought over who got to change diapers, but they did fight over cuddle time. They seemed pretty happy to help. I think they always just thought a new baby was like a new doll to play with! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Oh, of course babies are fun. I know I sound judgmental about this and I don't mean to be. Older sibs can be a great help to moms and love little ones. But sometimes the care of the little ones become a burden to older kids. I think we do need to be careful in asking older kids to shoulder so much of the burden because the fact is that there are families out there who pair up their kids with an older sib - this can work, but I've also seen it as taking advantage of the older kids. I know girls that don't want to have kids because they are already raising their siblings. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I see no problem with it whatsoever. Baby's don't have modesty issues. I think it's fine to see the diaper area of the opposite sex. Kids learn that way. Brothers can learn to be good dads and help out with diapering and girls to be good moms. I think keeping the baby's bottom "secret" would be odd. Amen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumping In Puddles Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I've seen too many older sibs from large families doing the parenting while mom can socialize. I've also been a gentle ear to one of these girls. I'm sure it can work but I think parents should do the majority of the parenting. In this case, since the OP has only one child now, I think its a great way to get the older sibling involved. Modesty shouldn't be an issue but if your daughter really feels uncomfortable about changing him maybe just give her a little time, surely she will see him naked anyway because he's a baby! She'll be around when you are dressing and bathing and changing him and she will probably not give it a second thought after a little while. good luck! :) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Emma in particular likes to get the baby up and changed (as long as he's only wet) and dressed in the morning. I don't expect her to do this most of the time; rarely I will ask her to get him up for me if I'm busy with something that I need to finish. And, then, it's only because she is insistent that he is awake and should be tended RIGHT THEN. We don't believe in making our boy wait for anything, ever.:D They don't seem to mind about his "boy parts." Yes, that is the terminology I use right now because I am a goober. He, of course, doesn't care who sees his business. ;) Abbie is not comfortable changing diapers; says she can't do it right. So, she doesn't have to do it. I don't care. I'm thinking you will have a harder time convincing your dd *not* to help with the baby, LOL! I bet she will fall in love and become as besotted as you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat19 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I don't ask for the help unless I'm busy with dinner or something else that is important. She likes to give baby a bath and she does change him(not dirty). I am so thankful for the help since baby has a reflux problem. I don't see any problem with it, but that's just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Dd doesn't change many diapers now, but when ds was a few months old she changed a couple of wet ones. Now I have her on entertainment or hand-holding duty as ds's hands go straight to his diaper area as soon as he hears the velcro. :001_smile: Since his birth, we have used the correct terms for male and female parts. It's only natural that they observe differences and are curious about them. It has gone no further than, "Hey, boys are different than girls." I think it is easy to over-think these things, especially given the distance between them. However, I think your dh will soon see that this isn't as big of an issue as he supposed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Well this is interesting! No, it's not dd who's the holdout at all, hehe. I'm guessing she'll be like the poster's Emma who would like to dress baby in the morning and tote him all day, a second mother! It's actually dh who is concerned whether there's some immodesty involved, whether siblings should "see" each other, etc. You're right, that some of this is just going to come for him as life happens and it won't worry him anymore. As you say, not like you're going to send her from the room while you change the baby! He just made the observation that you can't take back what you see. But there's nothing inappropriate about a baby. So y'all are right, life will work this out as a non-issue. Elaine/True Blue, I wanted to comment on what you said, because it was very thought-provoking. I know there are families with situations like what you describe and it resonates with me as a potential issue and one to be guarded against. As a dc, I had bitterness against my mother with the thought that she asked me to do things only because she was LAZY, not because she NEEDED me to, kwim? That's terrible to say, but I'm acknowledging that with one or many dc, that can absolutely happen. It's something I've tried to be cognizant of in asking my dd to do things and having her help around the house. I try to show her that my asking her is not merely that I'm lazy, but that I CAN'T do something and need help. She's pretty observant and has always been a willing helper, volunteering help. And that backlash against how they were raised can occur even without the sibling pairing and excess work. I remember in Russia kids from large families saying the same thing and vowing they wouldn't have lots of kids the way their parents had done. Everyone has a reaction to how they were raised, what they've experienced. Yes, I thought your point that dd is GOING TO SEE the new baby's parts, no matter what, because she's inevitably going to be around while s/he is being changed. It's weird and contrived to say dd shouldn't be. And when explained that way, I think things will click for dh. I suppose if I really didn't want her to ever see the other gender's anatomy until marriage, I could do every single diaper myself in a back room, but I'm not super woman and it ain't happening.:lol: I'm sure open to more of your changing stories and will be back to read them and chew on them! Thanks for sharing!!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 When I was young I changed all of my brothers and my oldest is a boy and he changed at least one of his sisters (maybe more, I can't remember), all of the girls changed their younger sisters but I don't know that they have ever changed a boy. I really can't imagine any situation where it would be inappropriate for an older sibling to change a baby irregardless of age, gender or modesty. Nor have I heard that in my life time. I can imagine that there was a time when it was thought/said that men in general didn't change diapers but I really think that time has passed. I can't imagine a time when it was ever considered inappropriate for a older dd to change a baby of either gender. I would be curious as to the line of reasoning. Do you know the gender of the baby? If it is a boy is your dh perhaps uncomfortable with the idea of your dd seeing male parts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I don't have a problem with siblings changing diapers but I think it should be the exception and not the rule. I don't really agree with older siblings doing a log of the parenting or cleaning up after younger siblings. I totally agree. Dd was nearly 10 when our last ds was born and she changed a few diapers but it was definitely the exception. Modesty is something we're purposeful about around here but it never even entered my head with any of the babies. My 2 yo still comes out of the bathroom nude to announce that he's peed on the toilet - no one makes a big deal out of seeing his parts, we're all used to it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My kids have all seen the little ones nekkid. It's only been recently that the older ones have started wanting to shower alone, so for years they all saw each other nekkid from infancy on. That said the only help I ask my kids when it comes to baby is to hold her for a while if I am busy or gather supplies for me. Today I had my son carry her in from the car because I had to carry the huge box of books inside. I think seeing a baby nude is not a big deal, though I do agree with the other posters who said to be careful about how much of the baby care you pass onto the older kids. My kids have never changed a diaper and they won't be anytime soon, in my hosehold that is my job not my children's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I suppose if I really didn't want her to ever see the other gender's anatomy until marriage, I could do every single diaper myself in a back room, but I'm not super woman and it ain't happening.:lol: From the perspective of someone who changed diapers & encountered nothing else until marriage...whoa. There's, um, a *difference.* Nobody ever mentioned that they...grew. That much. I'm just sayin'. Changing a diaper probably won't effect modesty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 On a separate note, I had a neighbor who had 3 boys & then a girl. She would nurse openly in front of me, dh, all of our dc, etc. I couldn't imagine! I mean, I covered up for *my* dc, much less anybody else's! So then she had her baby girl about the same time we had dd1. I was openly changing baby's diaper, & she was shooing her boys away. It took me a minute to realize it was a modesty issue. Her boys were so close together, they'd seen her nursing their whole lives. They were used to it, she was used to it. BUT they'd never seen "girl parts." She wasn't used to it, they weren't. So she felt privacy was better. She never said so, mind you, but it really helped me understand our differences w/ regard to these things. In our house, otoh, my oldest 2 were girl/boy, so they'd been bathing together forever. Nursing had always been discreet because we lived w/ my in-laws, & then #3 came quite a long time after #2. Different circumstances. Anyway, I'm really glad you started this thread. Ds7 has been asking to help w/ dd1's diapers, & I hadn't been sure if that was ok or not. He's changed 1 or 2, but after reading this, I think I'll let him do more w/ newbie if he wants. (He's SO proud when he does these things on his own! And I agree w/ whoever said it seems to help w/ sibling rivalry--the feeding, dressing, changing, playing w/ of baby seems to make the olders feel responsible, mature, part of the family, etc.) Hope I said what I meant--gotta go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusPair Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Aubrey! You're hilarious! Too true!:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I don't know where I would be without my two helpers! DD9 and DS8 both help with little brother (11 mo). Diapers, bath, feeding, playing, etc. What is that saying about many hands making the work lighter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My older kids do help change the baby's diapers. I appreciate the help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabeth in IL Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I'm 12 and 15 years older then my two youngest brothers. I changed a lot of their diapers and a lot of their friends diapers as I was an experienced babysitter. I never saw their privates past age 3 so I don't think that it is a modesty issue at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I think you're right; it can be overused. With regard to girls who don't want to have their own children, that was me. My family had a baby when I was 10 1/2. I was asked to do a good bit for her, but never minded. A friend recently reminded me that I had said in high school/college that I didn't want children of my own for that reason. I had totally forgotten it and have been "into" children all of my adult life. So it may be more of a passing phase than anything else. Maybe even a way of saying, "I'm my own person and will find my own direction in life." That could then come back around to wanting to be a mom in short order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Our older kids don't change diapers, but it's not a modesty issue. They've been around, talking to me, when I've changed diapers, so they've seen everything. They don't change diapers because they don't want to. Although we are big on everyone pitching in and helping, I respect that the choice to have another baby was mine and DH's and not the kids, so I give them the more fun baby/toddler jobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Oh, of course babies are fun. I know I sound judgmental about this and I don't mean to be. Older sibs can be a great help to moms and love little ones. But sometimes the care of the little ones become a burden to older kids. I think we do need to be careful in asking older kids to shoulder so much of the burden because the fact is that there are families out there who pair up their kids with an older sib - this can work, but I've also seen it as taking advantage of the older kids. I know girls that don't want to have kids because they are already raising their siblings. And I'm a poster child for how the forced relationship can go sour. My older sister hated having to care for me or do things for me. My mom constantly talked to her about the responsibility of being a big sister and being a good role model. We're now 40 and 46 years old and still have a very distant, strained relationship. My sister told me that during therapy, she voiced that she had been robbed of her childhood for having to be the 'grown-up' way too early. It's affected how we both chose to raise our own children. I wish we were close sisters but that has never been and it will never be. I no longer have a desire to please her or win her approval. The shoe is on the other foot and I am completely indifferent. Anyway, to the original question... I do not think it's inappropriate for an older sibling to change a diaper, help a younger sib to the bathroom, or give a younger sib a bath. The very idea that that could be seen as something 'bad' is so sad to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusanG Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Anyway, to the original question... I do not think it's inappropriate for an older sibling to change a diaper, help a younger sib to the bathroom, or give a younger sib a bath. The very idea that that could be seen as something 'bad' is so sad to me. I was also surprised to read this thread. I had no idea, honestly, that anyone would have concern over siblings seeing their baby brothers or sisters being changed or bathed. My kids are 7 and 8, so obviously the older child wasn't old enough to help me with the baby! They took baths together, though, until they were 5 and 6, and they often change in the same room when they're going swimming or getting ready for martial arts. They've burst in on me while I'm changing or in the shower, and while my son recently stopped doing that, my daughter still does. We have never made nudity an issue, so the kids just don't think anything of it. As their needs for privacy grow, I'm sure these things will come to an end. At 7 and 8, though, I won't be the one to put a stop to it - I just see no need to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My mom was second oldest of 13 and talked about many many summers where her job was to potty train whatever younger sibling was at that age (granted they were training them around 18 months which I still find hard to believe). My first 2 are boys and my 3rd is a girl. We were in the process of potty training the girl when i got pregnant with number 4. My oldest son got designated to help with potty training. A job he hated particularly when he had to wipe her butt. I did feel bad for him but when I was laying on the couch with my head in a bucket there wasn't much I could do to help her learn to wipe. She was far enough along in the process that moving her back to diapers wasn't an option, she just needed help with the snaps/buttons, wiping and washing her hands. She knew when it was time to go. Hubby was at work and she needed help so oldest DS got stuck. Life happens that way sometimes. So there was never an issue about what other saw. With that many kids running around it would be pretty hard to keep things "private". But the older kids haven't changed diapers just because I want to make sure they get them on tight enough because I don't want to deal with leaks. When #4 arrived DH thought I shouldn't nurse in front of the boys anymore. He thought I needed to go into a separate room so they wouldn't see anything. I laughed at him. I asked him if he really expected me to leave three kids completely attended for up to an hour at a time every 2 hours just to feed the baby. If I did that, he would be lucky to have a house to come home to at night. While I certainly don't flaunt things in front of the boys and I'm mostly covered by my shirts, they do see some flesh. I have always just told them those parts are for feeding babies. They don't see anything sexual in them at this point and I'm perfectly content to have them think of them as having a single purpose. As far as having older sibling help in other ways besides feeding and/or diapering. My oldest DS was designated baby holder when #4 was a baby as he was the only one mature enough to hold her. She is now 18 months and he has the BEST relationship with her of all of them. If he hears her in the morning before I get up, he rushes to get her out of the crib, he will get her breakfast for her and play with her until I get up. If he has been gone all day, he will come home and say how much he missed her and specifically ask for time to play with her alone. And the smile she gives him when he carries her around just melts my heart. I don't know if this fabulous relationship will continue as she gets older and gets into more things but right now she is his favorite playmate. So I think having an older child help out wiht a younger is a great way to foster the relationship and teach important skills but yes there is always the danger of putting too much on the older child. I guess it's a case of watching how the older one reacts. If they are asking to be more involved certainly let them, if there is a bad attitude try to back off on the requests for help if possible. Stephanie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I've seen too many older sibs from large families doing the parenting while mom can socialize. I've also been a gentle ear to one of these girls. I'm sure it can work but I think parents should do the majority of the parenting. Wow -- I'm actually very close to the teen daughters in our home church, and they always help a lot and really enjoy doing so. They also help other moms out. I don't see changing a diaper as different than setting the table -- it all benefits the family. From my experience, it's the ones who don't share in the family load that most despise helping out and most dislike/are uncomfortable with children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nakitty Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 We had no such hang ups...our girls see our boys naked regularly and vice versa. No big deal around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nakitty Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 My kids helped with all aspects of babycare except for feeding, which they lacked the equipment for. It never occurred to me that it was inappropriate in any way. ditto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 My kids helped with all aspects of babycare except for feeding, which they lacked the equipment for. It never occurred to me that it was inappropriate in any way. :iagree: My olders always enjoy helping with each baby (youngest is now 19 mos old). My eldest son has appointed himself the "royal dresser" which means he picks out youngest son's clothes every day. Mine don't help with diapers, but not because of modesty issues. We use cloth and they aren't quite as good in ensuring that the diapers don't leak. Good lord, I have several nudists (of both genders) in my house. Let's just say that the very first biology lesson happened pretty early on in my house.:D My kids are also very familiar with the anatomy of nursing (both the parts and the know-how) even though I did try to use a cover. Wardrobe malfunctions happen, especially when trying to nurse and corral at the same time. ;) In fact, my eldest (then 5) once told a friend of mine (whose first child was a newborn) that she needed to pick the baby up and nurse him because he was crying and that meant he was hungry. Ds then proceeded to hand my friend a pillow for her back because "that's what mamas need". And, as Aubrey mentioned, "boy parts" do eventually change into "man parts". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I was changing my brother's nappies when I was 6 or 7. I don't think gender matters with babies. The baby bit is more important than the gender bit. If they need a nappy change, they need a nappy change. If your ds is really that uptight about it, I'd have him help out in other ways instead. :) Rosie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 older sibs change the new baby. Just so they get to try it, feel confident about it plus i some cases get a very innocent 101 about well, the opposite gender (I am talking innocently here, though). Now my baby is older (6 months) and he rarely gets changed by anyone but me, though, as it is getting too gross for them, hehe. The issue about older sibs helping....I do take that to heart. One of my dd's 14 loves to take care of him, but then she turns around and complains. She loves his loving her and can competently feed the kid and almost bathe him on her own (I am sort of teaching both her and her older sister to do this and their brother 12 wants to learn how to do it). But no, she is not even mostly responsible for him. I am most certainly. But I will ask her to take him for a stroll or wash his face and she is the most loving sister to a baby you could imagine. Back to the diaper issue, then I have actually seen mothers sheltering their older kids from seeing the wee one's system and that is just unnatural to me. I think the effect of changing the baby with siblings around is that a lot gets demystified in a very natural, innocent manner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYSue Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 My dd was the oldest with three brothers. She changed diapers, helped with baths, was around during potty training... It was always treated as natural and a part of everyday life. Now she has a son of her own and is a wonderful mother :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 . . . including the occasional diaper change. Like True Blue said, I want to be careful not to take advantage of Isaac's willingness to help, so I rarely insist that he do a diaper. (Only in some strange confluence of events where the diaper HAD to be changed right then, and I absolutely couldn't get my hands free or something.) I usually give him a choice in the matter: "Okay, kiddo, the table needs to be set and the boy's diaper changed. Which one do you want?" Or, "Okay, I need to change Theo and put him to bed while you unload the groceries. Or vice versa." But I do put baby care in the category of things that children have to help out with, just because families help each other. That's what families do. And so far, Isaac seems to really enjoy it. "Can I get Theo up, Mom?" "I can take Theo for a walk while you cook, Mom!" Actually, the whole neighborhood takes Theo for a walk when Isaac does. They especially like combining Theo-care with sports. Whoever makes a basket tries to teach Theo how to do a high-five. Whoever makes Theo laugh first gets to go first in horseshoes. Stroller racing. That sort of thing. Gender and modesty wouldn't be an issue for me. Responsibility and ability would be the only issues for me. (Obviously, this assumes the diaper-changer is a normal, emotionally healthy child.) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 My eldest was 8 when baby was born (he's seven now!) and helped out some, included a very occasional wet diaper change. But none of my kids see girls undressed, because we have none! I wonder if this will somehow increase their curiosity? My dh, who had a younger sister, that I'm sure he saw undressed plenty, still had intense curiosity about this when he got older-I think it is the difference between what genitalia is "for" as a little kid, and what it is "for" as an adult! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fourmother Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 We have never asked older siblings to change a diaper or bathe a child. It would never occur to me to do so. These are strictly grown up jobs at my house. We teach our kids from an early age that private parts are private. Only mommy, daddy and the doctor examine or wash them. Sexual abuse within families and among siblings is something no one wants to think about, but it happens all the time - and not just in "troubled" homes. I feel very strongly that it is inappropriate to put children in this position. There are many, many other ways for older kids to help out. I know most people will disagree with me here. That's OK. My house, my rules. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seemesew Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 I've had my boys learn how to change a diaper BUT I do not have them do it regularly. I have seen too many times where a younger sister was sexually abused by older brothers "while changing the diaper" and I have seen the opposite as well. I want my boys to know to do it but I will not have them do it often. The same would be if I had girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree Frog Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 Hopefully this has been resolved in the last 13 years. Zombie thread. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 This is a particularly odd very old zombie thread for a brand new poster to revive. Seems better for it to go *poof* 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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