School intrusion...or not?

[LauraGB]

Dd13 has a friend who has been enrolled in private school all her scholastic years. She has recently gone through a fairly public and traumatic divorce of her parents. The kid has had a difficult time, but has handled it well.

 

Here's the scenario about which I'm asking:

 

Based on the publicity surrounding her parents' divorce, the school therapist required her to read the book Cut. There was no indication of her being depressed or otherwise self-abusive, yet she was "required" to read this book. I feel quite certain that this activity might not have ever been an option for her because I don't think she ever understood it as an option.

 

Then, for her health class, she was to document all the food she ate during the course of that particular week. She was to receive a grade for that documentation. She and her mom went on a "girls only" vacation during that week just to catch a break, and she ended up documenting a lot of fast food, pizza, etc. She received a poor grade and was taken aside to be spoken to about her diet. Upon some in-depth questioning, she ended up sharing with the teacher that she didn't eat breakfast; she felt rushed in the morning and wasn't hungry before she caught her bus at 7am, so she often skipped breakfast. Her teacher made a phone call to her mother to express her concern about anorexia and assigned the girl to read Wintergirls. Her mother was aghast. Again, I don't think this particular girl would have understood that starving herself was an option based on depression.

 

Here is my problem. This child, who has gone through some admittedly difficult issues as a result of her parents' poor decisions, is also just barely 13. She may not have ever considered "cutting" or anorexia or bulimia as being options as an "outlet" at this age. But now she knows all about it. Did this school overstep their boundaries by introducing her to these "options"? Certainly, they could have done more harm than good. How much within their rights do you think they are to "intervene" in this child's life so...deeply - grades, phone calls, assigned reading about controversial and deep subjects?

 

Personally, I'm inclined to feel they've overstepped and may have done more harm than good. What are your thoughts?

[2cents]

I agree with you! If the girl doesn't have probs now, she may after reading those books and having all that focus put on 'potential' probs. It seems they are running the risk of 'suggesting' the girl into something that isn't there.

[She Reads a Lot]

That is absolutely ridiculous behavior on the part of the school system/teachers toward a 13-year-old girl! Why don't they go ahead and make her read "Forever" so she can learn about premarital s@x and get herself pregnant, too!!???!! :lol: That will really solve things.

 

Sheesh.

[frugalmama]

Way overstepped their boundaries.

 

I'd be complaining if it were my kid - I KNOW how easily reading books like that can convince an impressionable young teen that those are normal coping mechanisms. And once they start it's soooooooooo hard to stop.

[TranquilMind]

Dd13 has a friend who has been enrolled in private school all her scholastic years. She has recently gone through a fairly public and traumatic divorce of her parents. The kid has had a difficult time, but has handled it well.

 

Here's the scenario about which I'm asking:

 

Based on the publicity surrounding her parents' divorce, the school therapist required her to read the book Cut. There was no indication of her being depressed or otherwise self-abusive, yet she was "required" to read this book. I feel quite certain that this activity might not have ever been an option for her because I don't think she ever understood it as an option.

 

Then, for her health class, she was to document all the food she ate during the course of that particular week. She was to receive a grade for that documentation. She and her mom went on a "girls only" vacation during that week just to catch a break, and she ended up documenting a lot of fast food, pizza, etc. She received a poor grade and was taken aside to be spoken to about her diet. Upon some in-depth questioning, she ended up sharing with the teacher that she didn't eat breakfast; she felt rushed in the morning and wasn't hungry before she caught her bus at 7am, so she often skipped breakfast. Her teacher made a phone call to her mother to express her concern about anorexia and assigned the girl to read Wintergirls. Her mother was aghast. Again, I don't think this particular girl would have understood that starving herself was an option based on depression.

 

Here is my problem. This child, who has gone through some admittedly difficult issues as a result of her parents' poor decisions, is also just barely 13. She may not have ever considered "cutting" or anorexia or bulimia as being options as an "outlet" at this age. But now she knows all about it. Did this school overstep their boundaries by introducing her to these "options"? Certainly, they could have done more harm than good. How much within their rights do you think they are to "intervene" in this child's life so...deeply - grades, phone calls, assigned reading about controversial and deep subjects?

 

Personally, I'm inclined to feel they've overstepped and may have done more harm than good. What are your thoughts?

Oh my goodness. Unbelievably overreaching, without any evidence other than that her parents went through a divorce. Gee...her and 60% of the rest of America's kids, most of whom adjusted as well as can be expected.

 

I'd have pulled her but then Mom probably doesn't have a choice now.

[MtnTeaching]

I would be beyond livid if they did those things to my dd. It sounds like "Quack psychiatrists" instead of school representatives.

 

Why do these people believe they have the right to do this to a child who is already going through a traumatic time?

[Sharon37127]

I know some people would disagree, but this is the same issue I have with discussing sex education. If it's not on their radar...

 

All I can say is, if it was my daughter- regardless of if family issues were going on or not- I would be upset.

 

Was she seeing the school counselor in a counseling manner? Then, I could see how it would more likely happen, but to just say that out of the blue- no.

 

Seems like a very fine line, because- how would you know if it is or isn't on their radar? Until something bad happens?

[Tap]

Dd13 has a friend who has been enrolled in private school all her scholastic years. She has recently gone through a fairly public and traumatic divorce of her parents. The kid has had a difficult time, but has handled it well.

 

Here's the scenario about which I'm asking:

 

Based on the publicity surrounding her parents' divorce, the school therapist required her to read the book Cut. There was no indication of her being depressed or otherwise self-abusive, yet she was "required" to read this book. I feel quite certain that this activity might not have ever been an option for her because I don't think she ever understood it as an option.

 

Then, for her health class, she was to document all the food she ate during the course of that particular week. She was to receive a grade for that documentation. She and her mom went on a "girls only" vacation during that week just to catch a break, and she ended up documenting a lot of fast food, pizza, etc. She received a poor grade and was taken aside to be spoken to about her diet. Upon some in-depth questioning, she ended up sharing with the teacher that she didn't eat breakfast; she felt rushed in the morning and wasn't hungry before she caught her bus at 7am, so she often skipped breakfast. Her teacher made a phone call to her mother to express her concern about anorexia and assigned the girl to read Wintergirls. Her mother was aghast. Again, I don't think this particular girl would have understood that starving herself was an option based on depression.

Here is my problem. This child, who has gone through some admittedly difficult issues as a result of her parents' poor decisions, is also just barely 13. She may not have ever considered "cutting" or anorexia or bulimia as being options as an "outlet" at this age. But now she knows all about it. Did this school overstep their boundaries by introducing her to these "options"? Certainly, they could have done more harm than good. How much within their rights do you think they are to "intervene" in this child's life so...deeply - grades, phone calls, assigned reading about controversial and deep subjects?

 

Personally, I'm inclined to feel they've overstepped and may have done more harm than good. What are your thoughts?

 

How do you know she didn't know about either? How would you know? If she is in traditional school, they know A LOT and they hear A LOT that you would never expect. The teacher at least was trying to talk to the parent about it. I can't say if it was appropriate or not. No one here can say that. Sometimes schools do give reading material to kids, based not only what is happening with individual students, but what is happening in their peer groups. I am not saying it is right, but it is common practice.

[Barb_]

Dead wrong.

[Farrar]

It's a private school? How big? How well do they know her and her family?

 

From the way you've told it, it does feel like they've overstepped. And if the girl isn't experiencing any of these issues, then it does seem too intense.

 

On the other hand, I worked at a tiny private school for many years. This is, honestly, the sort of thing we used to do with kids sometimes when they were having big issues. We would chose personal assignments for them. We would ask them to read things. Talk about things. We would pull kids from classes, change their schedules, call in counselors if need be... We had complete flexibility for things like that and could easily change curricula, schedules, etc. at the drop of a hat if we wanted to. And we knew the kids we taught really, really well. There were kids I taught and mentored for 4 years straight. I knew them as well as anyone except their parents at that time in their lives. The school where I taught was definitely an unusual place, but looking at what you say through that context, I can't say I thought they necessarily overstepped their bounds.

 

It's a different context if you're in a private school and I don't think *most* private schools would do this sort of thing. But some would and some are the kind of school like where I worked and families who feel that this kind of involvement is overstepping either don't chose that kind of school or don't stay past the first year.

[LauraGB]

Oh my goodness. Unbelievably overreaching, without any evidence other than that her parents went through a divorce. Gee...her and 60% of the rest of America's kids, most of whom adjusted as well as can be expected.

 

I'd have pulled her but then Mom probably doesn't have a choice now.

 

Agreed. And Mom doesn't really have too much choice; she's stretched financially, the school knows the situation and has now inserted themselves in it. I think she feels confined.

[LauraGB]

How do you know she didn't know about either? How would you know? If she is in traditional school, they know A LOT and they hear A LOT that you would never expect. The teacher at least was trying to talk to the parent about it. I can't say if it was appropriate or not. No one here can say that. Sometimes schools do give reading material to kids, based not only what is happening with individual students, but what is happening in their peer groups. I am not saying it is right, but it is common practice.

 

Fair point. Dd and this girl have been best buds for about 10 years. Dd is the one who told me these things as they unfolded. She was the one who was so annoyed about the whole thing because this girl is a lot less "in the know" than the average kid (she goes to a private parochial school in a smallish town), yet still so impressionable. Possibly she was aware of those things, but I don't think so intimately - those books tend to bring "possibilities" around with full instructions, especially for those who wouldn't have otherwise considered them completely.

 

I guess I just feel that since the school didn't first discuss these matters (from self abuse to her diet) with her mother, they really overstepped a great deal. The school is not her parent; her mother is. And her mother is very concerned about all of her kids. By declaring a sort of parentage over this child and introducing her to other ideas, I fear they may have given the entire family even more to deal with than they otherwise would have had.

[LostSurprise]

From where you're standing, I'm not sure you can say if the school has crossed a line or not. Certainly, most of the girls I've known with these problems did everything they could to keep that information from their parents especially if things were rough at home.

 

Often enough as a teacher I had parents unwilling to accept idea that their child was depressed or troubled, especially if they might feel they had something to do with that depression. You learn not to bring it up to them and try to reach out to the teen.

 

Which brings us to assigning fiction as a means of communicating with teenagers. Personally, I think its lame, but what do we do in this forum when we can't see the whole picture but think we know what the other person's going through? We recommend a book. Maybe it will resonate with the other person and maybe it will bounce off leaving no impression but all we're out is time. Maybe it will spark a conversation.

 

I think you need to ask yourself, is she so depressed that something like this could have a negative impact or is she fine and it will bounce off? It can't be both ways, and if she is troubled enough for it to hurt her then the teacher saw something that needs to be addressed (even if they did it in a moronic way). Public schools are far too busy to create assigned reading for every teen with a broken home. There's more to this then you can see from your place as her mother's friend.

[NanceXToo]

Definitely overstepped their boundaries. If anything, they should have called the mother and said, "These are some things that some students/teens do if they get depressed, I know your family is going through a rough situation, please watch out for the following signs and let us know over at the school if there is anything you feel we need to be concerned about. We will let you know if we see anything of concern here at school."

 

Then they could let the daughter know they were there for her if she wanted to talk to them about anything she wasn't comfortable talking to her parents about at home, even asked the teachers to let the counselor know if they noticed any worrisome behavior in class, and that would be that.

 

But I think they went too far with the things they did.

[merry gardens]

Fair point. Dd and this girl have been best buds for about 10 years. Dd is the one who told me these things as they unfolded. She was the one who was so annoyed about the whole thing because this girl is a lot less "in the know" than the average kid (she goes to a private parochial school in a smallish town), yet still so impressionable. Possibly she was aware of those things, but I don't think so intimately - those books tend to bring "possibilities" around with full instructions, especially for those who wouldn't have otherwise considered them completely.

 

I guess I just feel that since the school didn't first discuss these matters (from self abuse to her diet) with her mother, they really overstepped a great deal. The school is not her parent; her mother is. And her mother is very concerned about all of her kids. By declaring a sort of parentage over this child and introducing her to other ideas, I fear they may have given the entire family even more to deal with than they otherwise would have had.

Schools are called "Alma Maters" for a reason. They didn't declare themselves a sort of parentage--some of that comes with the territory when you send your children to school.

 

I don't know if they handled it the best way, but they may have reason for concern. Has she lost weight? Did she record eating only 500 calories or less on the assignment because she didn't really complete, but claim that's all she eat? Is she remarkably thin? Are there other signs of possible self-harm on her body? Not one, but two different staff members at that school have expressed concern. They may or may not know something.

[Rebecca VA]

The teacher's efforts seem clumsy and overzealous. If I were the parent, I would definitely have a talk with the teacher and ask her not to put ideas into my child's mind. There's a difference between vaguely knowing that something (like cutting) exists vs. reading a book which details how to do it.

[Tammyla]

Wrong, wrong, wrong...The parent(s) should have been contacted if they suspected anything.

[Karen in CO]

I do think the school handled it poorly and could have made the whole thing worse, BUT .... Do you really think that 13 yo girls don't already know about cutting and eating disorders? You don't have to know "anorexia" to be anorexic. You don't have to read books about eating disorders to feel uncomfortable in your own skin and feel that urge to control it. You don't have to know that other people cut to sit on the bathroom floor and contemplate hurting yourself.

[Ellie]

Not "intrusion," but certainly, well, stupid. :glare:

[Haiku]

Did this school overstep their boundaries by introducing her to these "options"?

 

Hells yes! A school counselor cannot "require" a student to read anything, and anyone with an ounce of sense in their head would know that a rushed 13 year old who skips breakfast is not anorexic, especially when she reports eating pizza and the like.

 

But then again, my dd's principal thought he was within his rights to try to dictate when we took our daughter to the doctor, so as much as I'm :cursing: about issues like this, I'm unfortunately not surprised. Just another reason my two younger kids will never darken a school's doorstep.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

They didn't declare themselves a sort of parentage--some of that comes with the territory when you send your children to school.

 

 

No, it doesn't. I am my child's parent. The school is not. Their sole job is to educate my child in a safe environment. That's it. I know that teachers are mandated reporters of abuse, but that does not make them parents any more than it does daycare workers, doctors, and social workers, who are also mandated reporters.

 

Schools are NOT parents and have no right of parentage. They have no right to interfere in students' lives to the degree that they often do. For some reason, school personnel tend to see themselves as either amateur psychologists and social workers or the last thin protection between children and their rotten, abusive, neglectful, or just stupid and incompetent parents. If you read the words of educators, their distaste and distrust of parents is plain.

 

But schools are NOT parents.

 

Tara

[Farrar]

But a private school counselor can require a child to read something if they want the child to remain in the school. Obviously, they can't require a child to undergo anything abusive and there are ethical limits on their conduct (many of which have laws to go with them) but other than that, they can require whatever they like. It's a private school.

 

I still say it sounds like they bungled it, but we only have a very outside impression. If she were really showing actual early signs of having these problems, this is the sort of intervention that has the potential to be really positive.

[Farrar]

Double post. Slow forum's starting to get to me.

[swellmomma]

Seems to be a case of the school borrowing trouble.

 

I am wondering why the mom didn't tell the school " no my daughter will not be reading those books, they are inappropriate and not suitable" Or why the mother didn't speak up more about the food issue for example, since the school called her. Kids skip breakfast, it doesn't make them anorexic for goodness sakes. And the school should have been able to tell the difference between a girls vacation week with crap food, and a regular diet when it was revealed she had been on a trip.

[Haiku]

the mentality that "we, the authorities of the village, know better than you" is troubling, to say the least.

 

Yup. Drives me nuts. And I have teacher friends who go on ... and on ... and on about how homeschoolers need more regulation because parents can't be trusted to properly educate their child and will use homeschooling as a cover for abuse. (They are always quick to point out that this ridiculous opinion doesn't apply to us.)

 

In fact, we have a case here now in which a severely disabled 14 year old girl starved to death. She was homeschooled and had a visiting nurse 6 hours a day, 6 days a week.

 

The front page story on our local paper was an article using this case to show that homeschoolers need more regulation to prevent this type of abuse.

 

Um ... HELLO? The girl had a visiting nurse who allowed her to starve to death, but the problem is with HOMESCHOOLING??

 

(Oh, and when I pointed that out on the paper's FB page, they promptly deleted me.)

 

Tara

[Acorn]

From where you're standing, I'm not sure you can say if the school has crossed a line or not. Certainly, most of the girls I've known with these problems did everything they could to keep that information from their parents especially if things were rough at home.

 

Often enough as a teacher I had parents unwilling to accept idea that their child was depressed or troubled, especially if they might feel they had something to do with that depression. You learn not to bring it up to them and try to reach out to the teen.

 

Which brings us to assigning fiction as a means of communicating with teenagers. Personally, I think its lame, but what do we do in this forum when we can't see the whole picture but think we know what the other person's going through? We recommend a book. Maybe it will resonate with the other person and maybe it will bounce off leaving no impression but all we're out is time. Maybe it will spark a conversation.

 

I think you need to ask yourself, is she so depressed that something like this could have a negative impact or is she fine and it will bounce off? It can't be both ways, and if she is troubled enough for it to hurt her then the teacher saw something that needs to be addressed (even if they did it in a moronic way). Public schools are far too busy to create assigned reading for every teen with a broken home. There's more to this then you can see from your place as her mother's friend.

 

:iagree:

[Jennifer3141]

Wait a minute. How many books did the girl read at the "request" of the counselor? The mother or father NEVER asked what she was reading or why? Two or three books, right? And no one at her home ever asked the child why?

 

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where my child is undergoing therapy (of which I am aware since I am aware of the food log) and not having details about the sessions from either the counselor and/or the child.

 

So the parents missed 2/3 books assigned by the counselor of a very serious nature... I'm wondering what else the parents are missing. Is the girl cutting and the parents are so wrapped up in their lives that they don't see it??

 

I'm just trying to imagine seeing a book named, Cut on the kitchen table and not have a talk about the subject. How on earth does that happen??

[Ellie]

But a private school counselor can require a child to read something if they want the child to remain in the school.

Says who? How would a counselor be in charge of deciding whether a child stays in the school or not?

 

Obviously, they can't require a child to undergo anything abusive and there are ethical limits on their conduct (many of which have laws to go with them) but other than that, they can require whatever they like. It's a private school.

By the same token, children can refuse to read tripe that's given to them by a counselor if it has nothing to do with the academic program of the school.

 

I still say it sounds like they bungled it, but we only have a very outside impression. If she were really showing actual early signs of having these problems, this is the sort of intervention that has the potential to be really positive.

Any "intervention" should have involved the parents.

[MBM]

As a parent, I would want to know what specifically the school knows or believes. If the school has a valid concern, I would want to have a say in how to address the problem. IME, I did not find all of my children's school counselors or teachers to be great sages.

 

Further, giving the child a book to read can get a conversation started, but in a time of crisis, it's an inefficient way to address a serious concern. I would prefer to use someone who specializes in treating those particular problems.

[J-rap]

Yes, they way overstepped.

[TranquilMind]

Definitely overstepped their boundaries. If anything, they should have called the mother and said, "These are some things that some students/teens do if they get depressed, I know your family is going through a rough situation, please watch out for the following signs and let us know over at the school if there is anything you feel we need to be concerned about. We will let you know if we see anything of concern here at school."

 

Then they could let the daughter know they were there for her if she wanted to talk to them about anything she wasn't comfortable talking to her parents about at home, even asked the teachers to let the counselor know if they noticed any worrisome behavior in class, and that would be that.

 

But I think they went too far with the things they did.

I don't think the school has any business even going that far, without any evidence that something is happening at all!

 

This really ticks me off. I can't tell you how many people my age I know whose parent bailed on them. The school never intruded into their personal lives. Unbelievable. NOT the school's place, absent evidence of a substantial nature that something is wrong.

[magnificent_baby]

I would be outraged. They have no business requiring any self-help, psychological type books. They definitely overstepped their boundaries.

[TranquilMind]

Says who? How would a counselor be in charge of deciding whether a child stays in the school or not?

 

 

By the same token, children can refuse to read tripe that's given to them by a counselor if it has nothing to do with the academic program of the school.

 

 

Any "intervention" should have involved the parents.

Ellie is dead on here.

 

If it doesnt' involve academics, or a crime/serious incident on school grounds, the school needs to stay the **^* out of it.

[TranquilMind]

Hells yes! A school counselor cannot "require" a student to read anything, and anyone with an ounce of sense in their head would know that a rushed 13 year old who skips breakfast is not anorexic, especially when she reports eating pizza and the like.

 

But then again, my dd's principal thought he was within his rights to try to dictate when we took our daughter to the doctor, so as much as I'm :cursing: about issues like this, I'm unfortunately not surprised. Just another reason my two younger kids will never darken a school's doorstep.

 

Tara

No kidding!

 

My teen daughter is 103 pounds and almost 5' 9". She has been model thin since...well, birth. People asked me if I "ever fed that baby" because her ribs stuck out even then. While she is um, blessed on top, the rest of her is skinny as a rail. I hope to God that some misguided school official doesn't decide in his/her infinite wisdom that she must have eating issues. She eats like a horse.

[TranquilMind]

Seems to be a case of the school borrowing trouble.

 

I am wondering why the mom didn't tell the school " no my daughter will not be reading those books, they are inappropriate and not suitable" Or why the mother didn't speak up more about the food issue for example, since the school called her. Kids skip breakfast, it doesn't make them anorexic for goodness sakes. And the school should have been able to tell the difference between a girls vacation week with crap food, and a regular diet when it was revealed she had been on a trip.

Bet the school counselor told her to keep it on the down low and just discuss it at school. Or maybe the girl was just embarrassed and it stayed in her book bag and Mom never looked.

 

I'm informed that a lot of parents are not "all in the kid's business" like I am, by my daughter.

[TranquilMind]

farrarwilliams: But a private school counselor can require a child to read something if they want the child to remain in the school.

 

Says who? Just because it is a private school does not mean the school can make demands beyond the scope of its authority and its authority does NOT extend to the family's personal life.

 

If she were really showing actual early signs of having these problems, this is the sort of intervention that has the potential to be really positive.

 

 

But there is no evidence of that, unless I have missed it. You can't just assume serious problems are imminent because some kid's parents are divorcing!

[Jennifer3141]

Bet the school counselor told her to keep it on the down low and just discuss it at school. Or maybe the girl was just embarrassed and it stayed in her book bag and Mom never looked.

 

I'm informed that a lot of parents are not "all in the kid's business" like I am, by my daughter.

 

 

But again, this is more than one book. You're telling me that a "good" parent would have zero clue that their child is reading material like these books at the behest of the school counselor? So the parent NEVER asks the counselor how the kid is doing? Or never asks the kid what she and the counselor talked about?

 

I don't know if the school is being intrusive because to me, it sounds like the parents are oblivious. If you can miss two/three serious books... can you also miss cutting?

[LauraGB]

Wait a minute. How many books did the girl read at the "request" of the counselor? The mother or father NEVER asked what she was reading or why? Two or three books, right? And no one at her home ever asked the child why?

 

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where my child is undergoing therapy (of which I am aware since I am aware of the food log) and not having details about the sessions from either the counselor and/or the child.

 

So the parents missed 2/3 books assigned by the counselor of a very serious nature... I'm wondering what else the parents are missing. Is the girl cutting and the parents are so wrapped up in their lives that they don't see it??

 

I'm just trying to imagine seeing a book named, Cut on the kitchen table and not have a talk about the subject. How on earth does that happen??

 

As far as I know, she was assigned to read only 2 books - one by the school counselor and one by the teacher. She wasn't seeing the counselor as a therapist - the counselor was just trying to "be there" for her as the divorce went down (which, I think would be typical).

 

Everyone was upset about the divorce and the circumstances, but as far as I can tell, the girl was hardly suicidal (everyone was kind of glad to have dad finally out of the picture). Mom did have the girl seeing a counselor outside of school just to help her through things, though. She is no longer seeing a counselor because it just didn't seem necessary.

 

I don't think her mom knew she had to read the books.

[Jennifer3141]

As far as I know, she was assigned to read only 2 books - one by the school counselor and one by the teacher. She wasn't seeing the counselor as a therapist - the counselor was just trying to "be there" for her as the divorce went down (which, I think would be typical).

 

Everyone was upset about the divorce and the circumstances, but as far as I can tell, the girl was hardly suicidal (everyone was kind of glad to have dad finally out of the picture). Mom did have the girl seeing a counselor outside of school just to help her through things, though. She is no longer seeing a counselor because it just didn't seem necessary.

 

I don't think her mom knew she had to read the books.

 

 

That makes sense, Laura. But if it's two separate professionals seem to see "something," I'd have to wonder if there was something to see. The other possibility is that the teacher and the counselor decided there was something there and kind of well, made it all up. I could see that happening too, especially in a small town or a small school.

 

I just think as a mom, I'd step back and think, "Geez. What is making everyone else in my DD's life think there's something going on?" Has the mom spoken to the school counselor? The teacher? How could your kid bring these books home at her school's request without a parent talking to the school???

[stripe]

I think the rush to give her books about teenagers in crisis was probably not well advised, but I don't understand the connection so many are drawing to sex ed....

 

I know some people would disagree, but this is the same issue I have with discussing sex education. If it's not on their radar...

Yes, but going through puberty puts hormones into one's systems that are part of a natural drive. I don't think anorexia or cutting are inevitable. Wet dreams or menstruation essentially are.

 

That is absolutely ridiculous behavior on the part of the school system/teachers toward a 13-year-old girl! Why don't they go ahead and make her read "Forever" so she can learn about premarital s@x and get herself pregnant, too!!???!! :lol: That will really solve things.

 

Except that the girl in Forever didn't get pregnant.

[Jennifer3141]

Except that the girl in Forever didn't get pregnant.

 

Small plot problem... :D

[Parrothead]

Honestly, to me it sounds like the school was/is trying to CYA so if, on the very off chance, the girl started a downward spiral of destructive behavior they have it on record that they tried to help.

 

The cynic in me says the situation has much more to do with liability than any true affection for the student(s).