plain jane Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Do you give presents for a birthday party (that your child has been invited to) if they don't attend? What factors weigh in on this decision? Your financial place at the time? How well you know the friend? If you have to cancel last minute (illness) vs knowing ahead of time that your child couldn't attend? I've always kind of wondered if my child comes up sick last minute if we should bring by a gift at a later time. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 If we don't go to the party, we don't give presents. The only exception would be for my nephews and niece as we are close to my sister. But even the relatives on the other side don't get presents if we aren't going to the party (but they live in a different state). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I don't know what is the "correct" thing to do, and I often question society's rules. If we don't attend the party, we typically don't buy a present unless... If we can't attend due to a last minute illness, I've probably already bought the gift and would go ahead and give it. If we are really good friends and can't attend, we are likely to give a gift anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 No. An invitation to a party does not require a gift. It only requires an RSVP (an RSVP being for informing the host that you are going as well as if you aren't). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 If you're somehow feeling guilty, send the child a hand-written birthday postcard in the mail. It's a balance between making a friendly gesture and doing something that creates further obligation for both you (& the other mom)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 It depends on how close we are to the child and family. If it's a close friend that dd does things with on a regular basis and we are fairly close with the family, we probably would still give a gift. Someone that my child considers a best or very good friend we would. If it's a friendship that's more of an aquaintance based on a mutual activity or class, then no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 If we are really good friends and can't attend, we are likely to give a gift anyway. This -- close family friends get a gift whether or not there is a party, and whether or not we can attend. Acquaintances get a gift only if we attend the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 It depends on how close we are to the child and family. If it's a close friend that dd does things with on a regular basis and we are fairly close with the family, we probably would still give a gift. Someone that my child considers a best or very good friend we would. If it's a friendship that's more of an aquaintance based on a mutual activity or class, then no. This is pretty much how we handled it when the kids were younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 No, unless it's a relative or extremely close best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristenR Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 If we don't attend the party, we typically don't buy a present unless... If we can't attend due to a last minute illness, I've probably already bought the gift and would go ahead and give it. If we are really good friends and can't attend, we are likely to give a gift anyway. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 No. The only exceptions are when I already bought them a gift, and we had to cancel at the last minute, or if it's one of their best friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I do not buy a present if we are not going. My kids get so many invites (from ps classmates), we would go broke if we attended them all. The only exceptions are if we already RSVP'd but could not make it at the last minute, or if they are very close friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Do you give presents for a birthday party (that your child has been invited to) if they don't attend? What factors weigh in on this decision? Your financial place at the time? How well you know the friend? If you have to cancel last minute (illness) vs knowing ahead of time that your child couldn't attend? I've always kind of wondered if my child comes up sick last minute if we should bring by a gift at a later time. :confused: No. We just don't. I could see it if we had already bought a gift for the child or they were a close friend, but so far we haven't had that happen, so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 We will bring a present to a very, very good friend before/after a party, but not just a casual friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinter Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Generally, I wouldn't give a gift if my kid didn't go to the party for whatever reason. For a best friend, I'd send a gift along the next time they go to the friend's house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 It depends on how close we are to the child and family. If it's a close friend that dd does things with on a regular basis and we are fairly close with the family, we probably would still give a gift. Someone that my child considers a best or very good friend we would. If it's a friendship that's more of an aquaintance based on a mutual activity or class, then no. This is what we do as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If we had agreed to come to the party but had to cancel last minute because of illness, I would still swing by with the gift. I don't stock up on birthday gifts. I buy for the specific child, so I'd want him/her to have it. If I RSVP'd with regrets, no gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If we had to cancel at the last minute, I might take the gift since it was already purchased. If we decline an invitation, I don't buy a gift unless it is a very close friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If we don't go to the party, we don't give presents. The only exception would be for my nephews and niece as we are close to my sister. But even the relatives on the other side don't get presents if we aren't going to the party (but they live in a different state). I don't know what is the "correct" thing to do, and I often question society's rules. If we don't attend the party, we typically don't buy a present unless... If we can't attend due to a last minute illness, I've probably already bought the gift and would go ahead and give it. If we are really good friends and can't attend, we are likely to give a gift anyway. This -- close family friends get a gift whether or not there is a party, and whether or not we can attend. Acquaintances get a gift only if we attend the party. No, unless it's a relative or extremely close best friend. I agree with these. I would only give a gift if I had planned to attend and couldn't at the last minute, or it was a family member/close friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 My nieces/nephews-yes (but then again, I will probably make it to their parties). Any other kid-no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't know what is the "correct" thing to do, and I often question society's rules. If we don't attend the party, we typically don't buy a present unless... If we can't attend due to a last minute illness, I've probably already bought the gift and would go ahead and give it. If we are really good friends and can't attend, we are likely to give a gift anyway. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If it were a really close friend, then my child would have given a gift anyway. Or, if it was going to be just a very small party -- say only two or three children -- then maybe we'd give a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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