momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I was at work today listening to some of the nurses tell about what is happening in middle and high school. We live in an area that is "supposed to have good schools". I homeschool. Oral sex in the hallways and on the bus?! Texting eachother for different prescription drugs?! It went on and on. I just must have looked stunned because they both looked at me and said "sorry, this is what you get to look forward to...". I then added I started homeschooling this year - they both said they wished they could. I knew that kids at my kids school in second grade were using bananas at lunch to explain about sex and all.... Is is really this bad? I guess it is. Maybe I do need to look at homeschooling all the way. I am taking it a year at a time, but hoping to go all the way through - now I have more incentive to go all the way through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 yes, I think it really is that bad. We live in a TINY town (about 400 people) and when my daughter was 5 she and a friend of hers was approached by a fellow classmate (also 5) telling them how his mom and her boyfriend would have sex...and he went on to describe the event. My daughter was confused and scared when she came home from school that day. We weren't able to start homeschooling for a couple of years...but if that would happen in Kindergarten in a small town school, I can't even imagine what happens in bigger schools and with older kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punchie Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I know the sex part has been going on for ages. I know my sister told me stories when she was in middle school (she's 24 now), and I remember rumors of stuff happening on the middle school band camp bus when I was that age (I'm 31). Regarding the prescription drugs, no...those weren't really on the radar for either me or my sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker of Schole Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 As a former public school teacher, having taught in fourth through seventh grades, I have to say yes, it is that bad a lot of places. Oh, the stories I could tell you. I worked in one of the 'not good' schools. My daughter attended one of the good schools, and the same problems were there. The drugs and sexual acts were just different - reflected the monetary level of the parents more (ie, well known drugs vs. the newer designer drugs). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatDilan Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yes, yes it is. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yes and then some. Our local junior high even has a designated classroom for breastfeeding mothers. I am always pro-breastfeeding, but really? A classroom is needed for junior high mothers? It makes me sick. DD is at a 4-8 school and we have NONE of those issues there, I think because so much parental involvement is required at this school so the kids tend to have more involved parents/grandparents. DD knows however when she graduates from this school she will be homeschooled. The high school is even worse... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Our local school would be a small one school pk-12 campus. 300 or so kiddos. I know 2 people that have taught there. Academic issues aside, the 2nd person I know who spent a year teaching there pulled her step children out as the 13 was friends with several children who were engaging in tEa outside of marriage not to mention drinking and whatnot on the weekends. It made me ever the more glad ds's were already at home. This person had married somebody that worked and worked with the school despite crazy stories for years. But did pull out his kids for moral reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My daughter goes to a high school many of you would think "scary" There are no sex acts in the hallways, no kids doing crack or meth out on the football field. In fact, I find her high school rather banal compared to my 1978-83 Atlanta all white suburban high school, where teachers got caught having sex with the students, and drugs were common. Shoot, the private schools were even worse back then. There are a lot of reasons to dislike brick & mortar schools (public & private) but the sex in the hallways/drug stuff is really rather overblown. Then again, we all know it's more fun to gossip about sex and drugs vs. school teacher standards and educational curriculum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yes, it's really like that in a lot of schools. It was like that by the time I hit 8th grade in 1993. I had my first kiss at 13 and lost my virginity that same year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 My daughter goes to a high school many of you would think "scary" There are no sex acts in the hallways, no kids doing crack or meth out on the football field. In fact, I find her high school rather banal compared to my 1978-83 Atlanta all white suburban high school, where teachers got caught having sex with the students, and drugs were common. Shoot, the private schools were even worse back then. There are a lot of reasons to dislike brick & mortar schools (public & private) but the sex in the hallways/drug stuff is really rather overblown. Then again, we all know it's more fun to gossip about sex and drugs vs. school teacher standards and educational curriculum. Sorry if you thought I was just trying to "gossip" - not quite sure where you were going with that. I don't have my kids in school for my own reasons (too huge of a kindy class, child with hearing problems, etc). My oldest is 8, so yes to me this is news. I really had no idea it was that bad. With everyone saying how common it is, makes you think they do this everywhere? Also, the nurse I was talking to about this is married to a cop - so yes, she explained much to me that I had no clue about. He is a cop in suburban area and yes, sees this stuff so much. Makes me sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I was at work today listening to some of the nurses tell about what is happening in middle and high school. We live in an area that is "supposed to have good schools". I homeschool. Oral sex in the hallways and on the bus?! Texting eachother for different prescription drugs?! It went on and on. I just must have looked stunned because they both looked at me and said "sorry, this is what you get to look forward to...". I then added I started homeschooling this year - they both said they wished they could. I knew that kids at my kids school in second grade were using bananas at lunch to explain about sex and all....Is is really this bad? I guess it is. Maybe I do need to look at homeschooling all the way. I am taking it a year at a time, but hoping to go all the way through - now I have more incentive to go all the way through. No, it's not that bad. There might be *some* kids in *some* schools, but it is not *all* kids in *all* schools. :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 You do realize that this behavior isn't confined to school grounds, right? Children that engage in premature sex and drugs take opportunities in public spaces and at home too. Seriously? I am not an idiot. Naive maybe, but not an idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 No, it's not that bad. There might be *some* kids in *some* schools, but it is not *all* kids in *all* schools. :001_rolleyes: I agree that not *all* kids are doing those things, obviously, but I do believe that there are *some* kids at *most*, if not nearly all, schools doing those types of things. Those things happen off campus far more often than they do on campus, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I agree that not *all* kids are doing those things, obviously, but I do believe that there are *some* kids at *most*, if not nearly all, schools doing those types of things. Those things happen off campus far more often than they do on campus, though. I'm responding to the way the poster phrased her post. I wasn't born yesterday, and do realize *some* kids do engage in bad behavior, but I don't like generalizations that malign whole groups. My kids have gone to public and private schools in Chicago and the 'burbs, btw. I'm familiar with those schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Ladies, I thought I could ask a serious question - didn't know who to ask, why not ask you all. My friends all have younger kids like myself. Yes, I know that this goes on all over, I do. But was shocked to hear it goes on the school bus and in the hallways at school. WTH? Didn't think the halls were that unsupervised to allow that to even happen. Didn't know kids were that "dumb" to even think to do it on a frickin school bus. So, forgive me if I apparently asked a "stupid" question. Like my nurse friend said, - her daughter had 2 texts in one week to of kids selling prescription drugs (her dad is a cop - how dumb to text his daughter). Of course I know that not all kids do this all the time. Just had no clue how frequent it is happening. That's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Seriously? I am not an idiot. Naive maybe, but not an idiot. She didn't call you an idiot. She didn't even insinuate that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I teach at a school that is even scarier than Jenny's daughter's school. The police are afraid to go into the apartment complexes adjacent to my school. No sex in the hallways or on the school buses. No meth or crack on the football field. Yes, there is pot smoking going on in the woods behind the school. Probably sex, too. But not in the school. My children go to the rich white school side of town. No sex in the hallways. My daughter goes to a high school many of you would think "scary" There are no sex acts in the hallways, no kids doing crack or meth out on the football field. In fact, I find her high school rather banal compared to my 1978-83 Atlanta all white suburban high school, where teachers got caught having sex with the students, and drugs were common. Shoot, the private schools were even worse back then. There are a lot of reasons to dislike brick & mortar schools (public & private) but the sex in the hallways/drug stuff is really rather overblown. Then again, we all know it's more fun to gossip about sex and drugs vs. school teacher standards and educational curriculum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 She didn't call you an idiot. She didn't even insinuate that. If you read my original post - I didn't generalize to any population or any specific group. I didn't even say private vs public. Again, just asked an honest question. I have not asked many questions on this general board so I am sorry if I upset you. Totally am not trying to start anything - really, just an honest question coming from a naive parent of young kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My husband teaches in a large urban high school. He's been there for 17 years. There are certainly problems at the school. I hear about them every day. But I have never heard about any students having sex in a hallway or on a bus. The problems I hear about most are students using foul language, talking in class, and not doing their work. Occasionally there is a fight. Occasionally a student is caught with drugs. There have been two weapon incidents over the 17 years he's been there. I'm sure there are plenty of drugs and weapons that haven't been discovered by the adults, but my point is that most students are not blatantly rebelling against the authority of the staff. Not at his school, anyway. He always reminds people about all the wonderful students you never hear about. There are kids who start clubs, who earn excellent grades, who perform in the band, who participate on the math team, the chess team, or the robotics team. There are kids who look out for the special needs students, who volunteer at the senior center on campus, and who organize fundraisers for the Special Olympics. There are so many great kids! And, yes, there are the kids who are in a lot of trouble. But, perhaps not as many as you might think. Just my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 I tried to edit my last post but must not have saved it right. I wanted to say thanks for all of those who gave examples of the schools this doesn't happen it. I think one poster meant the gossiping was the nurses I overheard talking (not me) - sorry if I took that wrong. Plus, I truly am not trying to stir the pot, so sorry if I upset anyone. I get we are all doing the best we can for our kids. Obviously, if this is going on so badly at this particular school (not at the high school my kids would attend), maybe there is some administrative problems. Just makes me open my eyes a little. Have a great day everyone, please don't read anymore into my question, I really meant it at face value and nothing more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 In my experience, if there is one or two incidences at a school, it can quickly escalate into "There are kids doing ____ [insert illegal thing] there all the time!". People tend to pick up on the shocking nature of things and exaggerate. FWIW, I'm 24. No one was having sex in hallways or buses at my middle school. One girl took a prescription pill at school and got her stomach pumped. In high school, one girl had oral sex on a bus and got suspended. No one was doing drugs at school, although I know some people had some with them at times. I'd say that's typical though, there are always going to be some people who do bad things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Thank you. Hey, OP, you might talk to the local police chief and get the stats for your area. The national and state stats are readily available on line. These problems are known to be caused by 'rotten apples' which are less then 5% of the population. I live in an area that had knife fights, oral sex, intercourse, and drug dealing in the high school and all over the public spaces of the community after the population wave fleeing NYC after 9/11 arrived. The community decided that wasn't going to do. The noncivil behavior was driven out of the school by using videotape on the school busses and grounds, securing the building, jailing criminals who were using school grounds to deal, and plain old fashioned police work and school discipline. Many communities do the same. Our biggest problem now is pot. Many adults beleive it should be legalized and supply it to teens, who sell it on campus. Thanks for the idea. Yeah, if this is as bad as these nurses were discussing, it would pay to do that. I do know that the high school that is in our district has drug problems. The administration is kind of letting the kids run the school in a way. Very little discipline (so I have been told by neighbors). Parents are asking for changes and all, but not getting them. We were even told at a parenting meeting last year that our high school has the strong potential for another Columbine but they can only do so much about that - I wasn't quite sure how to take that either. Just not what you want to hear. We are having huge bullying problems. It just seems like our administration is a bunch of wimps and need to crack down. Leave it to the midwest - we tend to be a little slow with some things:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker of Schole Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Obviously, if this is going on so badly at this particular school (not at the high school my kids would attend), maybe there is some administrative problems. I think you just hit the nail on the head. I'm glad to hear good reports of some schools. But it does happen in other schools. Based on my first hand experience, it was happening. It continued to happen because nothing was done to stop it. Hopefully, at some point in the future, that will change for the school that I no longer work for. In the mean time, it continues to be a place where many students (and some adults) do not feel safe, and have to deal with much more than just getting a school education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Well, if I were willing to disclose my exact location I could provide dozens of links to news stories about sex, drugs, and gang-related violence in our local high schools. It is absolutely going on here, and not just a little bit. The 'rich' suburban schools have the same issues as the inner-city schools. Anyone who doesn't know it never reads the city newspaper. And these schools are performing abysmally on standardized tests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We have a new family doctor in a neighboring town. When she learned we had teenagers she was very prompt to arrange a session with me to discuss how informed our boys are about sex and drugs. She's on the front lines and frankly horrified at what she sees day in and day out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 #1 problem the middle schools deal with in our city is pregnancy. Yes, it really is that bad. When my husband was doing his internship for his Masters degree in school counseling he was blown away at the stuff he saw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 In my experience, if there is one or two incidences at a school, it can quickly escalate into "There are kids doing ____ [insert illegal thing] there all the time!". People tend to pick up on the shocking nature of things and exaggerate. FWIW, I'm 24. No one was having sex in hallways or buses at my middle school. One girl took a prescription pill at school and got her stomach pumped. In high school, one girl had oral sex on a bus and got suspended. No one was doing drugs at school, although I know some people had some with them at times. I'd say that's typical though, there are always going to be some people who do bad things. But you just said that there was oral sex on your bus? The whole point is, yes it is happening. Maybe not everyday, on every bus, but it happens. I remember kids doing drugs in the parking lot of my high school. Crank, pot, ecstasy, it was there and available to anyone who wanted it. In junior high the drugs were less available, however there was a lot of drinking. Vodka in water bottles were taken away on a daily basis at my junior high. I knew many who were sexually active, though none personally who got pregnant. I remember in high school meeting a girl at school who had a 4 year old. I have a distant cousin my age who had twin boys at 14. IT HAPPENS. The best way to protect your kid from becoming part of that fast crowd is by being active in their lives. Whether in school or homeschooled, the more you know about what happens when your not around the better. I never did any of those things, but talked with my mom about it all the time. It led into some great discussions about right v. wrong, which I hope to carry over into talks with my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 We have a new family doctor in a neighboring town. When she learned we had teenagers she was very prompt to arrange a session with me to discuss how informed our boys are about sex and drugs. She's on the front lines and frankly horrified at what she sees day in and day out. At a parent meeting last year, the superintendent informed us that our high school has the potential to be another Columbine. I know the drugs are not good, and the open campus is not helping a few other issues. I know the parents are getting ticked off and wanting stricter rules etc, but the administration is just not doing it. By the way, we moved here because this is supposed to be such a good district. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 But you just said that there was oral sex on your bus? The whole point is, yes it is happening. Maybe not everyday, on every bus, but it happens. I remember kids doing drugs in the parking lot of my high school. Crank, pot, ecstasy, it was there and available to anyone who wanted it. In junior high the drugs were less available, however there was a lot of drinking. Vodka in water bottles were taken away on a daily basis at my junior high. I knew many who were sexually active, though none personally who got pregnant. I remember in high school meeting a girl at school who had a 4 year old. I have a distant cousin my age who had twin boys at 14. IT HAPPENS. The best way to protect your kid from becoming part of that fast crowd is by being active in their lives. Whether in school or homeschooled, the more you know about what happens when your not around the better. I never did any of those things, but talked with my mom about it all the time. It led into some great discussions about right v. wrong, which I hope to carry over into talks with my children. Thanks so much! This is exactly why I asked this in the first place - really. I am just asking you your opinion - I didn't have one because I don't know about this yet. I want to educate myself so I am ready. My closest friend is a stict Catholic who is just "praying" nothing will happen with her kids. Me, I just want to understand what is going on in the schools so I am not some idiot (now I called myself that!:lol:) Clearly, if some schools have little to none of these problems, and some schools have a much larger percentage (2 kids caught doing oral sex in the hallway in one week is too much for me) then I need to take a close look at the administration of our kids school someday. Furthermore, I am homeschooling one year at a time. I went to a public school, and have nothing against public, or private schools. One of our kids really needed to be home for health reasons, that's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Sexual activities on band buses, during dances on school property, in hallways, in dark corners during school time, in the parking lots, etc. happen in junior high and high school. Drug use and drug selling happen as well. Alcohol brought in water bottles, empty hairspray bottles is common. I witnessed it, personally, when I went to school. Even though that was a long time ago, I do not expect that things have changed much other than for the worse. My schools - junior and senior high - were not particularly rough. They were really decent, in a nice military community where many vacationers come to visit (beautiful tourist location). I would assume the reports are true. The varying levels of these behaviors may differ from community-to-community. Not all who engage in these activities are easy to spot. Some get high grades, attend church, and look polished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 They really do that. Not necessarily in the hallways, haven't heard that one at least. It has been known to happen on the bus. I wouldn't say it was a daily occurrence, but it happens. Mostly, it happens away from school. It is the vast majority of kids. It is even those kids that it wouldn't ever be. Their parents are clueless. I know a lot of them, parents and kids. The most frequent place for sex seems to be in the kids' own homes. The parents just smile and think how cute their kid is with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend. Just the other day, one of my girls had to have a little discussion with her coach because of the inappropriate physical contact that was going on in the pool during practice. Seems that one girl just can't keep her hands out of her boyfriend's suit during rest intervals. This is in the pool with multiple other kids right there, parents in the stands just yards away, and coaches within feet of them. The coach is watching a little more closely now. Still...This is one of the "good" girls.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 So true, myeightkiddies. I wanted to come back and add that none of us are truly protecting our kids from this influence by homeschooling unless we practically lock them up and never let them out of our sight (which I, for one, am not willing to do to teens). We've seen all of these problems in churches as well as homeschool support groups. Lots of people go to church or start homeschooling to help their children deal with these issues. Lots of people are totally blind to what their own kids are involved in. Some "good" kids are good actors, while introducing all the other kids to unspeakable acts and ideas. By homeschooling this environment is less in our kids' faces, and they are possibly less distracted by it, but they are being raised in the same society. They deserve information and discussion (and listening) from their parents, just as away-schooled kids do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 my daughter is in 11th grade in a large, middle/upper middle class high school. She has never, ever come home with stories like this. Yes, there are two girls in her school who are pregnant and there are scores of kids who drink and do drugs....but not on school time or property....that she has seen. like some others said, this stuff happens....good grief it's 2012 in America, we cannot, cannot, CANNOT keep this kind of behavior from our children unless we never, ever let them out of the house and believe me, it doesn't just happen in public schools. We all want to shelter our children and to keep the ugliness away from them, but we simply cannot. I want my daughters to be aware that this stuff happens but that they do not have to be a part of the behavior. If they are raised right (and mine are) they will want NOTHING to do with those crowds but if they are never exposed to it, then what in the world are they going to do when the grow up? It sucks, it really does, but it isn't going to stop. I believe that if we teach them well, and keep them as close to us as we can for as long as we can, and if we listen (not just hear) but listen to them, they will know...and do....right from wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 ...I don't like generalizations that malign whole groups. :iagree: ... camp counselors and sports coaches .... the list goes on. Evil is everywhere if you look hard enough. NO, generalizations about schools, priests and coaches don't work. It's a SMALL percentage of bad apples that give everyone a bad name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) my daughter is in 11th grade in a large, middle/upper middle class high school. She has never, ever come home with stories like this. Yes, there are two girls in her school who are pregnant and there are scores of kids who drink and do drugs....but not on school time or property....that she has seen. like some others said, this stuff happens....good grief it's 2012 in America, we cannot, cannot, CANNOT keep this kind of behavior from our children unless we never, ever let them out of the house and believe me, it doesn't just happen in public schools. We all want to shelter our children and to keep the ugliness away from them, but we simply cannot. I want my daughters to be aware that this stuff happens but that they do not have to be a part of the behavior. If they are raised right (and mine are) they will want NOTHING to do with those crowds but if they are never exposed to it, then what in the world are they going to do when the grow up? It sucks, it really does, but it isn't going to stop. I believe that if we teach them well, and keep them as close to us as we can for as long as we can, and if we listen (not just hear) but listen to them, they will know...and do....right from wrong. :lol::lol:You know what, I was your dd. I didn't see or hear any of it happening when I was in school. I had no idea it was going on. I was told it was; and it was pointed out to me shortly before I graduated. I just lived in my own little world. However, one thing I have noticed with the kids I know is that the parents who don't realize how prevalent these activities are are often the parents whose kids are participants. They are clean cut, polished, no one would guess kids who make good grades. Honestly, we are talking about around 90% of the kids (some form of s&x and/or drinking at a minimum). My personal opinion is that they will grow up and be very solid citizens one day. I do worry about what they are being exposed to right now. I worry about the cavalier, relaxed, everyday attitude and what results it will have. it is scary because almost all of their parents have been good parents. They have taught them the difference in right and wrong. They have done the right thing. The kids are just making the wrong decisions. It is truly frightening. What their friends say and do makes a larger impression. One day, they will most likely realize their mistakes. Edited January 7, 2012 by Lolly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Ladies, I thought I could ask a serious question - didn't know who to ask, why not ask you all. Just had no clue how frequent it is happening. That's all. I've been substitute teaching several times/week in grades 3-12 in my local school system for the past year and I DON'T see or hear of anything like what you are talking about. If it's happening, it's not done in school or on the buses. What you heard may be true, but it's not true for the majority of schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I've been substitute teaching several times/week in grades 3-12 in my local school system for the past year and I DON'T see or hear of anything like what you are talking about. If it's happening, it's not done in school or on the buses. What you heard may be true, but it's not true for the majority of schools. The schools in your local school system are the majority of schools? This is a big enough of a problem that there have been 20/20 exposes of the problem (and other shows, including our local news). I don't personally know the percentage of schools that have had the problem but it's obviously not a minor blip in just a couple of places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 You do realize that this behavior isn't confined to school grounds, right? Children that engage in premature sex and drugs take opportunities in public spaces and at home too. But she's TALKING about school, right? I think sticking to what she actually said would be helpful and I, for one, thought you were condescending. She wants to know if this is common in schools, a place where there IS supposed to be supervision and some sense of order. I don't think there's much question about the fact that many children end up doing inappropriate stuff in *unsupervised places*, especially if they also have crummy, neglectful, uninvolved parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 So true, myeightkiddies. I wanted to come back and add that none of us are truly protecting our kids from this influence by homeschooling unless we practically lock them up and never let them out of our sight (which I, for one, am not willing to do to teens). We've seen all of these problems in churches as well as homeschool support groups. Lots of people go to church or start homeschooling to help their children deal with these issues. Lots of people are totally blind to what their own kids are involved in. Some "good" kids are good actors, while introducing all the other kids to unspeakable acts and ideas. By homeschooling this environment is less in our kids' faces, and they are possibly less distracted by it, but they are being raised in the same society. They deserve information and discussion (and listening) from their parents, just as away-schooled kids do. Very good point. We've seen some related behaviors at our local church youth groups and homeschool co-op. Co-op was the place my Ds learned firsthand about bullying by being hazed in the bathroom when he was 6 yrs old. The other parents smiled and said they hoped the boys would start to get along. We dropped out. Several years later the junior high kids were left unsupervised in a room during a co-op meeting and some of the kids took off their clothes and then took pictures with their cell phones and e mailed them to quite a few people. So, yes, just by keeping them home from school we will not necessarily be protecting our kids from these encounters. I know quite a few families who think activities run by churches or "Christian" co-ops are automatically not going to have the same problems and it's not always true. It's a good thing for homeschooling parents to keep in mind as they search for activities outside the home. Yes, these things happen in schools, but it's good to remember they happen elsewhere too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 but what about all of the stories we hear about parents who homeschool and murder their kids? Is that to assume that all or most homeschoolers beat or murder their kids? No. As we all know *$&* happens and it happens in some schools but not all. I happen to know that i live in an area where there are several high schools in several towns close by and i do not hear any such thing as what the OP was talking about...and as i've said before, i have a child currently in public school. People, it's not going to go away. It's not going to get better, what we have to do as parents is teach our children right from wrong and then not worry so much about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I am 38 and although we didn't have texting (or emails) back then, we passed naughty notes, people were having s3x in Jr. High, paying for speed pills, my good friend OD'd on speed pills and had to have her stomach pumped when I was in the 8th grade. I don't remember anyone talking about oral but I know there was a lot of touching etc within the group of kids I hung around with. In the 9th grade, kids would go across the street from the high school and smoke cigarrettes and the smoke a little stronger, drink and make out. I am sure things have actually gotten worse over the last 20-25 years. I work in L&D and actually think that teen pregnancy rate is lower over the last 14 years that I have been doing it, so either kids are using better protection or terminations are more routinely done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Yes and then some. Our local junior high even has a designated classroom for breastfeeding mothers. I am always pro-breastfeeding, but really? A classroom is needed for junior high mothers? It makes me sick. DD is at a 4-8 school and we have NONE of those issues there, I think because so much parental involvement is required at this school so the kids tend to have more involved parents/grandparents. DD knows however when she graduates from this school she will be homeschooled. The high school is even worse... I would have assumed the breastfeeding room was for teachers, but then I've never sent my kid to school. I don't think anything should surprise me, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 In the small town were my inlaws live the middle school had an addition put in to house a daycare for the children of the students. It is an area in which the parents encourage their young teenagers to get pregnant. It means more food stamps/welfare/ child support money coming in. I remember sitting in a McDonalds with my ds and a friend and her ds and listening to a girl who couldn't have been more than 15 tell her mother that she didn't want to sleep with her boyfriend because she didn't want to be a mom at a young age after her mother told her she needed to hurry up and get into the sack with her boyfriend and give her another grandchild. I saw the same girl two weeks later when I was substituting a 9th grade class at the high school. I pray she stood her ground but in that town it is unlikely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Well, I attended a middle school where children were having intercourse on campus (in the locker rooms and behind the portables, specifically). I did *everything* but have intercourse on campus and on the bus in high school. It was not unheard of at my school. A few brave souls brought pills and clear alcohol on campus, but more parked just off campus and partook of such things before school or on lunch break. The head cheerleader was caught with marijuana in her backpack. I graduated third in my class with two academic scholarships and one band scholarship. I was a band and math geek in high school. I was probably the last one my teachers expected to end up pregnant, but I did. It does not surprise me when I hear of these things going on in schools. It just doesn't. I'm not saying that things are never exaggerated -- perhaps they are. I can't imagine anyone actually having intercourse in a crowded hallway but when I was in school we knew which parts of which buildings were largely unoccupied at certain times of the day and we took advantage of that knowledge. And you'd be surprised what you can get away with in the back seat of a school bus late at night when everyone else is asleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Well, if I were willing to disclose my exact location I could provide dozens of links to news stories about sex, drugs, and gang-related violence in our local high schools. It is absolutely going on here, and not just a little bit. The 'rich' suburban schools have the same issues as the inner-city schools. Anyone who doesn't know it never reads the city newspaper.Same here.I live in a very wealthy suburban school district - one of the top rated in our state. I had three DEA agents visit my house last year, investigating the drug overdose death next door. (Yes, in this affluent school school district, we had a drug house just feet from our house.) It came up during the interview that I homeschooled and they all said, in unison, "Good for you. Do whatever you can to keep your child out of this school." :001_huh: Later on in the conversation, they confirmed what I had heard as rumors for several years - yes, the teachers are selling to the students. When the arrest announcements were finally made in this case, I almost fell over that 17 teenagers were indicted in the boy's death. Yes, 17. No teachers were charged, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Yes, it's really happening. But... it's not new. Oral s*x happened on the middle school bus 25 years ago in my small town. Dealers were selling out behind the school. I never saw s*x in the hallways, but I did see some serious foreplay and often the folks involved would "get a room" (empty classroom, that is). Have you watched any 80's teen movies lately? They are FULL of s*x, drugs, and alcohol. Are things worse today? Not sure, but anecdotal evidence from teachers and administrators actually in the schools say yes. I am certain that my parents were completely unaware of 95% of what I witnessed in school. This is not the main reason we homeschool, but allowing our children the opportunity to miss out on this particular environment certainly is a big benefit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 These things were happening when I was in high school 25 years ago--I remember hearing about them. Same with my dh. It's just that now it's not a couple of incidences, or a few kids--it's more frequent, more kids are participating. At least that's what it's like at the high school where my dh works. I hate sweeping statements, but I won't let that stop me--society is breaking down in some respects, and that's reflected in schools and everywhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I would have assumed the breastfeeding room was for teachers, but then I've never sent my kid to school. I don't think anything should surprise me, though. I'm on the wellness committee (a big joke IMO) for our district and it is indeed for students only. The two teachers I know of who breastfeed on the campus use their classrooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexi Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Yes it really is that bad. My bro graduated from a public high school and it was terrible even though it was a "good district". Scary! I am going all the way with homeschool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Later on in the conversation, they confirmed what I had heard as rumors for several years - yes, the teachers are selling to the students. When the arrest announcements were finally made in this case, I almost fell over that 17 teenagers were indicted in the boy's death. Yes, 17. No teachers were charged, though. My jaw just dropped. Teachers selling to students??? I cannot even comprehend that. I mean... what??? I am very sheltered, I guess. I was in middle/high school in the late 80s/early 90s and was COMPLETELY unaware of anything. Well, I did have a good friend lose her virginity at theater practice. Besides that, I saw/knew nothing. However, I was a Christian goody-two-shoes... the kind of girl people didn't tell things to. I'm shocked and saddened by this thread. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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