HappyLady Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 For my children's parties I always indicate that the party will go from "1 - 4." My main reason is because I want people to know dinner won't be served. I do indicate though, that we'll be having snacks, cake and ice cream. I also do this because of nap times and such. Every year that I do this I get grief for putting an end time. One thing you should know about my DH's family is that parties don't have ending times. They could honestly come to my house at 1:00 and be there until 4am, no joke. That's another reason why I put the ending time, because I want them out. :lol: I'm just sick of the comments once "4:00" comes. They try and be funny about it, but it annoys me every year. And they ALWAYS talk about "continuing the party" at my DH's brother's house so they plan on who's driving (afterwards because most of them will get drunk off of their behinds), where to order food, etc. It always makes me feel guilty, but I really think 3 hours is plenty when it comes to a toddler's birthday party! Plus, it would cost way too much to feed all of them dinner. What do you think? Am I rude for putting an ending time? Is it not the norm to only serve snacks, cake and ice cream at a party? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Not rude at all. I appreciate it when I see a beginning and ending time, because then I know what to expect. Maybe you could schedule an event you need to attend after the party's over so that you'll have a reason to clear the crowd out of the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 It doesn't sound rude. Their goal is to get drunk and they are looking for any excuse to do so. If they weren't drinking types, I doubt it would bother them. They are the rude ones for trying to impose themselves and their drunken behavior on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Not rude at all, and for a party in the afternoon, guests should expect neither lunch nor dinner. Their form of partying would not be welcome at a child's birthday party around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Your next invitation could read: Party 1 - 4 pm, after party at Brothers 4pm - 4 am. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 It doesn't sound rude to me. If there were out of town guests I would plan on feeding them dinner and hosting them until they decided to leave. I would expect local people to clear out at the stated time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Wow, I don't think it sounds rude at all! Perhaps next time though, you can plan it at a park nearby. Then, when 4pm rolls along, your family can go home and they can do what they want! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I don't consider it rude...I mean you're hosting right-that means it's on your schedule..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Honestly, I can't think of a kid's party that DIDN'T have an end time! Then again, any kid's party I've hosted or been to was for kids, not for extended family. Extended family parties didn't have actual invites, just phone calls, and no, there wasn't any 'end time'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceman Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Not rude. Expecting your toddler's birthday to be a drink-fest and being upset when it isn't...that's rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Kids parties for kid guests: absolutely, have an end time. A family party with extended family members, even if the occasion is a child's birthday: it would never occur to me (and I have never seen this in our family) to have an end time. If they want to stay, they stay and will be invited for the next meal, even if I have to improvise. I have never been kicked out of a family member's home because "time was up". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Kids parties for kid guests: absolutely, have an end time.A family party with extended family members, even if the occasion is a child's birthday: it would never occur to me (and I have never seen this in our family) to have an end time. If they want to stay, they stay and will be invited for the next meal, even if I have to improvise. I have never been kicked out of a family member's home because "time was up". :iagree:This is pretty much how we've operated, and seen others do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I appreciate end times on invitations. It allows me to plan my day and lets me know that I can politely leave at said time EVEN if the party is continuing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Definitely not rude on your part! But they are being rude by overstaying their welcome and getting drunk at a child's birthday party. I never put an end time on our party invitations, but we've never had issues with people overstaying their welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I do this for most invitations - even though I don't have toddlers anymore. :D We had two Christmas parties in December, and on both invitations I put a start & end time. Usually what happens at the official "end" time is a few people start leaving...and it takes up to an hour for everyone to clear out. (I anticipate that when I set the end time!) I think having an end time is not only NOT rude, but it's courteous to your attendees. Everybody knows what to expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Not rude. Expecting your toddler's birthday to be a drink-fest and being upset when it isn't...that's rude. :iagree: I would continue to put an ending time on your invitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 They get drunk at a kid's birthday party? I'd have a problem with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) Honestly, a lot of the issue will go away as your kids get a little older. When other kids are the guests (instead of family), ending times are pretty typical, and other parents will not give you grief over it. I do find end times for a family party a little odd, though. Of course, I also find the idea of getting really drunk at a family party surprising! I think I would just grit my teeth and deal with it, though, if I wanted to have a family party for my children's birthdays. Edited January 5, 2012 by Sun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Your next invitation could read: Party 1 - 4 pm, after party at Brothers 4pm - 4 am. :D:iagree::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Not rude. Expecting your toddler's birthday to be a drink-fest and being upset when it isn't...that's rude. I'm with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 For parties with kids friends I always put an end time. Parties with dh's family, well, lets just say I did that once and it did not go over too well. I was 7 months pregnant and did not feel up to the big family gala. I did 1-4, cake and coffee. I thought his mother was going to have a fit. She asked "What is this coffee and cake?" I told her not to expect dinner. I was pregnant and cranky. They came and at 4 made a big production over going out of leaving at 4. It didn't bother me but dh would never agree to do it again. I say, keep doing what you are doing if that is what works for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 Your next invitation could read: Party 1 - 4 pm, after party at Brothers 4pm - 4 am. :D :lol::lol::lol: I'd so love to do that!!! And yes, a "party," regardless of what kind it is, is a drinkfest with these people. I don't ever kick anyone out at the time given for the end of the party so everyone is always there at least an hour longer than I planned, but I'm afraid if I don't put an ending time they'll never leave! :glare: My DH and I just aren't the "partiers" like they are and I really don't think a toddler's birthday party is the appropriate time to bring hard liquor (like they do) so I want them gone before they get too drunk. They're nice people, don't get me wrong, it's just not what I want my kids around. I just hate that I'm made to feel like a weirdo for putting an ending time on my kids' parties. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Not rude. Even if it's family, I would find it presumptive to get a alcohol party started at a home where people did not feel comfortable with it. Moving the party to bro's house where they can comfortable kick it up and kick back should be acceptable. I will admit when I read the thread title I thought it was about staring a party to celebrate the end times. :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I always include an end time for kid parties. That's when the parents come get their children! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 What do you think? Am I rude for putting an ending time? Is it not the norm to only serve snacks, cake and ice cream at a party? You are completly reasonable for a rational person. You dh's family dont' seem to qualitfy as reasonable, but more as teens (regardless of their age) using any excuse to party looking for a location. I think your dh's family is rude for expecting to party at your house until they are ready to go to bed - whenever that is. eta: the fact this is a KIDS party, and they want to get as drunk as a skunk, would make me wonder how many are alchololic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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