What do you do when you are SO DONE with homeschooling

[Miss Peregrine]

but public and private schools are not an option?

 

Put on my big girl panties and deal with it? How do I find my motivation?

 

blah.

[kalanamak]

Ice cream and a nap.

[Mommyfaithe]

I hear you...and my options are the same as yours...

Basically, when I am done....I take a break, but not a terribly long one. I give myself a set amount of thine, and during that time I de-clutter, revamp school plans, try to do some fun things with the kids etc.

 

I call this my teacher sabbatical time.

 

I also come here...stay away from the " I am sending my kids to PS posts" and read up on teaching methods or fun things to do with the kids. We all burn out sometimes, and it is ok to take some time off and re-organize, refocus and recharge. :grouphug:

Faithe

[Sasharowan]

Can you go away for a week? The kids and I go camping for a few days when we need a break. Declare a staycation and take a week and pretend you have gone somewhere. Get out and explore some areas of town that you aren't familiar with. Is there a nature park or wilderness area that you can explore in?

 

Hope these ideas help.

[myfunnybunch]

I...

 

put on my big girl panties.

 

take a break. A weekend at my mom's or an afternoon out does wonders.

 

take a nature day, or two or three. No plans.

 

garden.

 

clean something. Today I cleaned the basement because I was grumpy and didn't want to see anyone and it was raining.

 

declare I hate everyone and everything and stay in bed all day. (Not really. But I want to.)

 

:grouphug: What is it particularly you're struggling with right now? The routine? Lack of breaks or time to yourself? Too much to do in each day? Maybe that can help us narrow down what might be helpful.

 

:grouphug:

 

Cat

[HSMom2One]

I try to stop everything and walk away for awhile. I watch fun movies with the family, pop popcorn or eat ice cream, go for a walk, take a nap....you know, get away from the issues and regroup. Then I pull out TWTM or some other motivating book or magazine and get back to the reason I'm doing this in the first place -- because basically, my mama didn't raise any quitters.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Rosy]

Take time off. A day, a week, a month...whatever is needed. You can make it up later.

Remember what got you started in the first place--cling to that.

Talk to the kids about why you're burned out. If their attitudes are making it hard for you, that can be addressed.

Change curriculum/curricula if something isn't working.

Go on a field trip.

Try to get them to be more independent.

Have an evening out with some other homeschooling moms.

Do a park day with other families, and *make* the kids leave you alone. :)

 

For me, there's usually a reason why I'm "done"...figuring out what that is helps me get to a solution much faster. For me, motivation comes from having curricula I am excited about using, seeing my kids grow in the areas that are important to me, and getting to enjoy the lifestyle we have chosen (lots of time working together, playing together, etc that we wouldn't have if they were in school).

[Miss Peregrine]

I...

 

 

 

:grouphug: What is it particularly you're struggling with right now? The routine? Lack of breaks or time to yourself? Too much to do in each day? Maybe that can help us narrow down what might be helpful.

 

:grouphug:

 

Cat

 

The death of my friend, no motivation, can't do anything right, no one picks up after themselves. I'm depressed; DH doesn't believe in depression, too much to do, I am bored, I don't really like keeping house. The three yo will only poop in his pants, not the toilet. I don't like meal planning and I hate that everyone is always asking me for food. I could go on. :sad:

[FriedClams]

I do the basics: math, LA, bible. I also take time to read the Charlotte Mason Companion, Real Learning: Education in the Heart of (by Elizabeth Foss) or Educating the Wholehearted Child. Something encouraging that doesn't induce stress or guilt.

[milovany]

If you haven't already, you could consider unschooling. I don't know how old your children are (and your signature, while it made me think deep and profound thoughts :001_smile:, didn't let me know), but taking this approach even if just for a year can be really refreshing and recharging. (And understand that by "unschooling" I don't mean "do nothing").

[FriedClams]

The death of my friend, no motivation, can't do anything right, no one picks up after themselves. I'm depressed; DH doesn't believe in depression, too much to do, I am bored, I don't really like keeping house. The three yo will only poop in his pants, not the toilet. I don't like meal planning and I hate cooking even more. I could go on. :sad:

 

:grouphug: See your doctor. You have a lot on your plate. Take a break and get the help you need. :grouphug: Please don't feel alone - we've all been there or will be there. :grouphug:

[Miss Peregrine]

If you haven't already, you could consider unschooling. I don't know how old your children are (and your signature, while it made me think deep and profound thoughts :001_smile:, didn't let me know), but taking this approach even if just for a year can be really refreshing and recharging. (And understand that by "unschooling" I don't mean "do nothing").

:001_smile: DD 15, DS 13, DD 11, DD 8, DS 3

 

DD 15 already thinks we don't do "enough" She is concerned about credits, and grades and "by the book."

[swellmomma]

This was me last year. I was so over it, burnt out completely. I did a couple things a) I dropped all academics in about mid April and focused on just loving my children and letting them play. My burn out with hsing, and the fighting etc was destroying our relationship. Better to drop formal work earlier than planned and rebuild that. b) I actually did register the kids in ps. And just the act of doing so had be beside myself with grief. BUT it was enough for me to want to make changes to make hsing work again. c) I am changing gears/focus. I registered my oldest in an online program. I got the workbooks and assignments already that go with his courses. They are so BORING! I dread working with him next year on them BUT I needed to release some of my burden, and in the end he will have a teacher for each subject to help him and to be accountable to. Because it is a special needs program, if he works at the pace I think he can handle he will be done all the grade level requirements by christmas, he is thrilled with that idea.

 

For the rest I am introducing more Waldorf-y stuff. I don't agree with the philosophies/spirituality of Waldorf, BUT I love the Aestetics of it. My kids are very into arts/crafts so they are excited by the changes that will be incorporated next year.

 

Because they are excited for next year, and I am mostly excited again(mostly because like I said I think my oldest's actual work is a nothing but busy work nad a waste of time) that has helped.

 

Having so few kids at home for the last month has helped too. I love my kids dearly. I love having them home mostly. But I rarely if ever get a break. I don't even have a spouse to say "I'm going for a walk, hold down the fort" kwim. SO for 10 years it has been just me 24/7. I was as much burnt out from my whole life as I was from schooling itself. Having them go to various camps, and stay with family for the last few weeks has helped me recharge myself and be excited at the thought of having them home again.

 

I must say that any previous breaks I've had before helped but were not nearly long enough. By the time the older 2 come home from bible camp next weekend I will have only had my oldest home for 8 days out of a total of 5 weeks. DD was home more but by then it will have been 3 weeks since she was really home (they were home for 24 hrs this weekend in between finishing their camps/trips last week and starting camp today). It was a much needed break, and honestly I needed every minute of it to be filled to the top again kwim

 

If you can get a break, take full advantage of it without guilt. Whether it is for 30 minues, and hour, a day or even a whole month like me take the time to focus on yourself and recharge yourself.

 

If you are 100% set on hsing because you feel it is best for your kids, but at the same time it is wearing you right down, then I say it is time to switch gears, even just temporarily to help that.

[milovany]

 

DD 15 already thinks we don't do "enough" She is concerned about credits, and grades and "by the book."

 

We gave birth to the same 15yo dd! There's a great book out there called The Teenage Liberation Handbook if she'd be interested. It's written to teenagers, about how to "unschool" themselves and do a good "official" job of it.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I didn't see your second post until after I'd written my response. You have been and are going through a lot. I know not everyone agrees, but here, school is one of the first things to go when life throws us lemons (we get busy making lemonade, but not learning about the chemical reactions in lemonade, or the nutritional benefit of lemonade, or how many cups we need of different ingredients if we're going to make a double recipe, etc. We just enjoy the lemonade and call that good).

 

:grouphug:

[FO4UR]

:grouphug:

 

 

When I get overwhelmed (with anything), I whittle life down to the essentials. Declutter time, space, and relationships. Focus on what is important to you. Let go of things (say no to commitments) that take you away from what is important.

[justamouse]

I hear you...and my options are the same as yours...

Basically, when I am done....I take a break, but not a terribly long one. I give myself a set amount of thine, and during that time I de-clutter, revamp school plans, try to do some fun things with the kids etc.

 

I call this my teacher sabbatical time.

 

I also come here...stay away from the " I am sending my kids to PS posts" and read up on teaching methods or fun things to do with the kids. We all burn out sometimes, and it is ok to take some time off and re-organize, refocus and recharge. :grouphug:

Faithe

 

I try to stop everything and walk away for awhile. I watch fun movies with the family, pop popcorn or eat ice cream, go for a walk, take a nap....you know, get away from the issues and regroup. Then I pull out TWTM or some other motivating book or magazine and get back to the reason I'm doing this in the first place -- because basically, my mama didn't raise any quitters.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

The death of my friend, no motivation, can't do anything right, no one picks up after themselves. I'm depressed; DH doesn't believe in depression, too much to do, I am bored, I don't really like keeping house. The three yo will only poop in his pants, not the toilet. I don't like meal planning and I hate that everyone is always asking me for food. I could go on. :sad:

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Honestly? Go read a book. Make a bunch of sandwiches, bring out a gallon of water, sit under a tree and read a book for the day and hand them a sandwich then they're hungry.

 

Get lost in it. For a day, two days, until the wee hours of the morning.

 

Then repeat.

 

*For me* that's what works. Because even when I'm puttering around the house, my brain is still working overtime and guilt is way up there on the thoughts. For me to unplug my brain, I need to read. And only then do I feel as if I've gotten a real vacation.

 

The house can wait. Mr Poopy pants can still poo in a diaper a couple of days. The friend needs to be mourned, and you need some stress relief.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Barb_]

The house can wait. Mr Poopy pants can still poo in a diaper a couple of days. The friend needs to be mourned, and you need some stress relief.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

:grouphug: You poor thing.

[mafi39]

Bless your heart, you have a lot going on and do need a break! I got completely over hs in beginning of june. I had planned on doing school in the summer but we moved unexpectantly and put out a huge garden. So I have taken the summer off and haven't regretted it one bit! I needed the break badly. I didn't realize how completely burnt out I was getting. I have swam, slept in, read books, camped, worked my tail off in the garden, canned and just had a great summer. I'm beginning to get that back to school itch and have been planning and getting things together.

 

Hang in there!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[UmMusa]

I just want to offer my support while you're going through this hard time. I, too, have been going through some difficult times and so much needed a friend. I don't have one to talk to and I felt like it was so much. Thankfully we ended our schoolyear last week and I've been "off". I will do some fun things for me and let the kids watch an extra hour of tv if it means I get to nap or bake or read. We mothers do have a big responsiblity on our shoulders and it's tough being the only parent in charge of children most of the day. I often wish there were just one other adult around so that I could go for a 30 minute walk, run to the store, or run a few errands. Ok, sorry, enough about me, but I know it can get overwhelming. If you're very sluggish check your blood and see how your iron, vit D, and thyroid are doing.

[Rosy]

The death of my friend, no motivation, can't do anything right, no one picks up after themselves. I'm depressed; DH doesn't believe in depression, too much to do, I am bored, I don't really like keeping house. The three yo will only poop in his pants, not the toilet. I don't like meal planning and I hate that everyone is always asking me for food. I could go on. :sad:

I'm sorry. You are going through a lot. :( If yours is a clinical depression, I would pursue getting help/medication. Your DH might not be a believer now, but maybe if you were getting the treatment you need he'd come around?

 

As far as I'm concerned, your kids should be doing a lot more to help. With the ages you have listed, you shouldn't need to cook at all if you don't want to. Seriously. You may still need to help with the meal planning, but the older 3 could easily make dinner 2x/week and then you could do pizza/leftovers the 7th night.

 

I think it's easy for anyone, particularly moms who are depressed, to get in a rut, and then feel like a martyr, and continue on a downward sprial. If you take a few weeks off of school and invest a little time in getting your kids involved in maintaining the home, it can really pay off.

 

I just posted this elsewhere, so forgive me for being redundant, but my kids do 3 things that keep the majority of the mess at bay:

1) clean their rooms every day

2) do 1-2 chores a day (DD6 and DD7 empty the dishwasher, DS9 empties the garbage, and DD10 loads the dishwasher. Also, DD6 wipes down the table, DD7 and DS9 fold laundry and DD10 sweeps and mops)

3) 5 minute pick up of public areas after school is done

We also do a bigger clean for about 1-2 hours on Fri or Sat to get the weeklies.

 

:001_smile: DD 15, DS 13, DD 11, DD 8, DS 3

 

DD 15 already thinks we don't do "enough" She is concerned about credits, and grades and "by the book."

 

She should be taking responsibility for this. It is *her* education. I would sit down with her, let her tell you what her goals are, and let her tell you what she needs to do to get there. Give her time to research colleges, people in her profession of choice and then meet back with you if she needs to. But I would make it very clear that you are her coach and that you will help her achieve her goals, but it is up to her to make them happen.

 

I hope you find peace and are able to take control of your life and home so that it is a source of joy and not frustration.

[HSMom2One]

 

1. Do you allow for something in your life that is just for you and has nothing to do with the kids or your husband? I mean a hobby or interest with designated time scheduled in regularly that is just for you?
   
2. Do you exercise and drink lots of water?
   
3. Have you made an appointment lately to see your doctor about the depression?
   
4. What about grief counseling or possibly journaling through your feelings of loss?
   

 

When I burn out it's usually because I'm not taking good care of myself, so this comes to mind as I consider your post. Unless you take time to feed and nourish your own soul, you will continue to reach this point of discouragement.

 

Remember the example of the mom and the air mask on the plane? In order to save her child she had to use the air mask first. We all need to remember that in order to take care of others, we need to take care of ourselves. So take care of yourself, dear lady. And don't feel guilty.

 

:grouphug:

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Wildiris]

Feeling ever so burnt out by the homeschool grind, I signed the girls up for K12. After 16 years of homeschooling, I want a bit of a life where I'm not panicked about building huge gaps in my children's learning. But what really pushed me over the edge and into a virtual school was a need for accountability other than just "MOM."

 

Stepping away from the summertime curriculum treadmill, I've spent my summer making a beautiful garden full of flowers. Rather than pouring over curriculum catalogs or endless internet searches, I get to read books for pleasure instead of sneaking them in on the side. I'm welcoming the change.

 

K12 may not be your solution, and it may not be my solution --we haven't started yet--but it is a break from wearing too many hats.

[Oakblossoms]

Please mourn your friend:grouphug:

Assign your kids some meal prep. They can plan the week and the grocery list. Home Ec!

 

Give your oldest a few catalogs and tell her to get on it. I am doing mostly Oak Meadow now because we have had a few rough years. I am so tired and depressed. I know I am depressed because I am sucked dry. There has been so much stuff from my marriage, to unemployment, two children really close together...

 

I offered the kids the chance to go to school, but they don't want to:tongue_smilie:

[Miss Peregrine]

We gave birth to the same 15yo dd! There's a great book out there called The Teenage Liberation Handbook if she'd be interested. It's written to teenagers, about how to "unschool" themselves and do a good "official" job of it.

 

 

I will look into that, thanks.

 

As far as I'm concerned, your kids should be doing a lot more to help. With the ages you have listed, you shouldn't need to cook at all if you don't want to. Seriously. You may still need to help with the meal planning, but the older 3 could easily make dinner 2x/week and then you could do pizza/leftovers the 7th night.

 

 

I don'y know how to do this without making it a punishment. I told the kids recently that I was no longer doing the dishwasher because they set dishes in the sink knowing that someone else would take care of them. I ended up yelling and now rather than something I handed over to them as a sign of responsibility and being part of the team, I made it a punishment. I will probably just mess this up, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

I do appreciate everyone's responses. They are giving me lots to think about. I am eating horribly right now. I don' drink enough water, and I only drink water so I am getting nothing. I was doing great at exercise, oh, about a year ago. But I don't even feel like getting up in the morning.

[Mommy22alyns]

:grouphug: I am sorry for your loss. You need to see a doctor, regardless of how your DH feels about depression. Then I would take a break. :grouphug:

[Rosy]

I don'y know how to do this without making it a punishment. I told the kids recently that I was no longer doing the dishwasher because they set dishes in the sink knowing that someone else would take care of them. I ended up yelling and now rather than something I handed over to them as a sign of responsibility and being part of the team, I made it a punishment. I will probably just mess this up, too.

 

No, don't say that!! You can do it!! You can make it fun for them. Let them choose what they make for dinner--even if they make pancakes twice a week, at least they're doing it. Or give them a budget and tell them they can keep whatever they don't spend.

 

If it was me, I would consider calling a family meeting (or even just me and the kids) and explain that Mommy is going through a very hard time, Mommy doesn't want to be cranky but that's the way it is for now. One of the things that makes Mommy cranky is that I can't do everything. Many of the things I do are things that you can do. If you can start taking on more of the workload, it will help Mommy not be so cranky. Then I would work with them on a cleaning schedule/plan that will work for everyone. I would come up with some ideas beforehand but try to involve them in the brainstorming process so they would take ownership of it. I do not have older kids, and I know the eye-roll factor can be frustrating, but there is simply no reason why you should have to do everything. It isn't good for you or them.

 

I understand that things seem overwhelming right now, but you can make positive changes that will make your home and family more enjoyable.

[smilesonly]

:grouphug:

 

Echoing others to see a doc. You need major, MAJOR self-care right now. (Ask me why I know.) I also think Wild Iris's idea is one to think about.:)

 

In the meantime-

Commit to walking each day-it's not exercise, it's self-care.

Drink plenty of water

Improve ONE thing in your diet for 2 weeks, then TWO things for the following 2 weeks after that.

Do you take Vitamin D? You should!! EFAs?? You should!!:grouphug: Major mood boosters!!

 

For most moms, February is major burn-out time. Not me! This is the time of year I am rethinking what the H-e-double hockey sticks I am doing.:banghead: The summer is so busy, and I never have time to adequately catch up on anything. And it's summer, so I can't even joke about throwing my dc on the Big Yellow School Bus-cause there isn't one driving by!:glare:

 

Did you read my post yesterday or today about my house? You should!;)

 

:grouphug:

[mommaduck]

Take a short breather, enjoy something sweet, go sit in B&N for a couple of hours, redo the schedule, and then put my big girl panties on and start again.

[LadyR]

After 13 years of homeschooling I feel like I'm all done too. I can't even THINK about teaching another year of school. This isn't my usual end-of-the-year burn out. I know I'm all done. Private/public school is not an option so we're going to be using BJU DVD program. I'm really grateful to have this option.

 

I'm so burnt out that I don't think I've cooked a meal in, oh, probably a month! LOL I decided to go to our local wholesale club and I bought a freezer full of prepared frozen meals. It's giving me the break I need.

[GoVanGogh]

The death of my friend, no motivation, can't do anything right, no one picks up after themselves. I'm depressed; DH doesn't believe in depression, too much to do, I am bored, I don't really like keeping house. The three yo will only poop in his pants, not the toilet. I don't like meal planning and I hate that everyone is always asking me for food. I could go on.

Except for the potty training thing, I was in the same place this time last year. We had three deaths right in a row and my DH's company went out of business right in the middle. I just felt like I needed to spend a few days alone, in bed, crying, with the sheets pulled over my face. DH doesn't agree with mourning (in that manner) nor does he believe in depression. I just felt like everything was "too much" and life was just spinning past me too fast.

What helped me -

1.) I had a full blood workup done and found to be well into menopause. (I'm mid 40s) I went on bio-identical hormones and they helped "center" me so much. I also found out I was lacking in Vitamin D and started supplements.

2.) I printed off a couple fun, free unit studies from Homeschool Share and we just did some light-hearted (but educational) studies. (I just have one younger child so don't know if that would work with your teen.)

3.) Set a routine for meals - quick, easy meals that were a no-brainer. Ex: Monday night - grilled chicken, rice, veggie.

 

I love to cook, but was surprised last year that that was the 'thing' that really drove me down. It just felt like I was cooking, prepping or shopping. Like I had no control, no end. Getting that under control helped considerably.

 

:grouphug: