Part-Time Homeschooler Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 My exMIL had some doozies for my son. She'd make references to "blackies," "n*ggers," "darkies" and then giggle as if it were funny. My son never caught on to that (he was pretty young) but one year, he grew a LOT and after he towered over MIL, she stopped. How horrible! I don't understand how someone could ever think using language like that while talking to a child was funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 It was an accident, truly. Fortunately, I apologized right away and told the woman that what I'd said didn't come out at all like I'd intended. My part of the exchange went like this: Me: "Oh, Alicia! It's you. I saw you from the back a few minutes ago, and I didn't even recognize you. You look so pretty tonight." Gah! I can still taste the shoe leather! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 When we lived in NJ we were having some work done in our backyard. The two men that were working there were pretty young. After two days of them working and me being around with all three of my boys, one of the men says to me, "What do you do? What do you mean, I said. Do you work? Well, I began, I raise my children and teach them at home. So, you don't work. He says. (uncomfortable pause) It's just that you're really hot and you look like the kind of woman that would do something important. He said. :confused:I think that in some neanderthal way, he was attempting to pay me a compliment. When I told my husband what happened he stayed home from work the next day while Frick and Frack finished the job.:lol: disclaimer: I am not "hot." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I think that in some neanderthal way, he was attempting to pay me a compliment. When I told my husband what happened he stayed home from work the next day while Frick and Frack finished the job.:lol: disclaimer: I am not "hot." Apparently, Frick and Frack have a different sort of thermometer than you do! :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Apparently, Frick and Frack have a different sort of thermometer than you do! :smilielol5: You kill me, sister!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 When I talk to my MIL, I am stunned into silence - which is probably a very good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 :eek: People say such horrible things! I'm aghast at so many of these comments! When I was 11 or so, a neighborhood friend's squat, sausage-shaped grandmother belly-laughed at me saying, "Look at her: she got them little ol' CHINESE eyes!" :001_huh: I'm pretty sure she said some other things, too, but that line stuck with me. :( I didn't understand why she would say such a thing or why it was exceptionally funny to her. And because I didn't understand, I felt very ugly for a long time after this grown woman laughed at the way I looked. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisawa Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 MY MIL has said all sorts of rude things to me and about me. When I was 16 she told my dh (well, he wasn't my dh then) 'She must not get enough to eat at home because she eats like a pig here.' When I told her some furniture that she insisted we take from her wasn't my style she said, 'Of course you don't like it. You don't have the style and class it would take to appreciate fine furniture because of the kind of family you came from'. Once I held my coffee cup incorrectly in a restaurant and she said, 'didn't your mother teach you any manners?' Once I was setting a casual table for our breakfast at her house and didn't do it correctly and she went off on me again about my ignorance in that area. And my favorite...she wrote my dh a letter when he was in college that said, 'Don't marry that Smith girl. She has bad jeans.' Oh no she didnt?:eek: That is so harsh... is she still this way?? Yikes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Wow, after reading all this I feel blessed---My mil and I get along GREAT! And....ummmm....I just forgot the story I was going to share!:blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Was from my husband. I was representing a stripper on drug charges in court. She paid me in the hallway that morning in cash from a big old wad of bills. I joked to my husband that I should quit my job and be a stripper, since she was so much better off than I was. He replied that no one would pay to see me naked. Thanks, dude. But my favorite that wasn't directed at me was directed towards a friend whose MIL-to-be, upon meeting her for the first time, remarked, "Well, you certainly are the *largest* woman Robert has ever dated." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 She said "So, did you lose your mucuous plug yet?". :glare: Oh my, this really needs to be a scene in a movie! That's absolutely hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 OK...I don't understand how some of these people have not been stabbed in the eye. Really. Do I have a "I will happily stab you in the eye" aura that prevents them from saying such things to me? I have had many comments from gas station attendants and such wanting to know what credentials I have that allow me to homeschool my kids. Because you know...public school did so much for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I have had many comments from gas station attendants and such wanting to know what credentials I have that allow me to homeschool my kids. Because you know...public school did so much for them. Yeah, like the waitress at the diner who started quizzing my kids on the names of presidents and the state capitols. Ummm, yeah...get me another cup of coffee please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Wow! It is so "unbelievable" (although I do believe it:)) that so many of you have had to endure such rude treatment. YIKES! I thought my mil was bad, but she is a cream puff compared to some mentioned in these posts. Bless your little hearts. I can see that this *has* built character in you guys - I'm amazed that you just keep silent. I'm not sure I could keep my mouth shut. My rude comment came from a lot of different folks a few months after I was married. I was 27 when I got married and so was my husband. We wanted to have a big family (his sister has six children and lots of families at our church are large) and both of us had heard many, many stories about couples not being able to "get pregnant" so we decided not to do anything to prevent it. We figured the odds were that, barring any unforeseen problems, we'd be pregnant within a year. Well, we found out about 2 months after the wedding date that I had gotten pregnant on the honeymoon. We were both thrilled. But you should have seen the looks we got from friends and family when we told them. They wanted to know if that was why we had gotten married! These were grandparents, people at church, folks I worked with at the Christian School where I taught first grade! HUH?? We got engaged in January, sent out the invitations in early May and got married June 21st. Our son was born the following year on March 15th. (Isn't that 9 months???) I realize he was a tad early, but all five of mine have been - anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks. How would I have known in January and then again in May that I was going to be pregnant in June so that I could send out the invitations a month ahead of time:confused:?? Geesh. I think some of these folks still think we "had" to get married. No joke. How hard is to count from June to March? Oh, well. What are ya gonna do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 OK...I don't understand how some of these people have not been stabbed in the eye. Really. Do I have a "I will happily stab you in the eye" aura that prevents them from saying such things to me? I know! I am sitting here reading these comments with my mouth on the floor. It is *shocking* what some people feel OK about saying! I am especially stunned by the MIL comments. WOW!! I would never be able to hold my tongue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in NH Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 On my wedding day, at the church, my MIL announced to all who would listen that she did not like my wedding dress....:glare: That made me feel wonderful and special..not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Didn't you get the memo? Eye twitching is totally hot! :001_tt2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Didn't you get the memo? Eye twitching is totally hot! :001_tt2: Are you refering to me?:D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Are you refering to me?:D :lol: Okay, who here thinks that Laney should change her name to "Totally Hot"?:lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 My own mother, bless her heart (said in my sweetest voice), made a comment to me when I was a teenager. It has stuck with me for years, I'm now 41 and it still irks me. My mother, whom I love, was blessed with long legs and a very classically beautiful figure. I inherited my father's short arms, legs and somewhat stocky genetics. I was not overweight as a teenager, but my mother blessed me with this comment..."You'd be really pretty if you didn't have such a big butt." Can you believe it? Just what a teenage girl wants to hear. :grouphug: I had a similar experience when I was 15, 5'9" and 140 pounds. I have always had long legs, and in the eighties it was excruciatingly difficult to find pants that were long enough. Mom told me with a laugh, "You know, you wouldn't need pants that were so long if you didn't have so much a$$ to put in them." It's amazing how much a girl can restrain herself when her 5'6", 230-pound mom makes a comment like that... Of course, she was the same woman who, after letting my brother flounder in college seven years (to finally settle on a major and get a 2-year degree), yanked me out of college after 2 years, giving up a scholarship and the honors program with only a non-committal "Well, it's okay because I didn't like what you were studying anyway." By then I was well-versed in biting my tongue and pretending like she never said anything...:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 When we announced that we were pregnant with our first, the very first words out of my step-mom's mouth were, "I don't want to be called grandma. That's reserved for my kids." When we announced that we were pregnant with our 4th, MIL said, "You know, less is more." :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 "Calvin's very like you were as a child. He's much brighter of course." Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAR120C Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 There was one guy in my cohort who was known for his general lack of social skills -- completely harmless, just a little awkward and insensitive in general. And then I met his parents. I was having Easter dinner with his family and a bunch of other students from our cohort who weren't doing anything else for Easter, and about halfway through the meal his mom burst out with "Oh I know who she looks like!" (referring to me) "Isn't she just the spitting image of Chris??" And her son says "Mom, Chris is a GUY" :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 disclaimer: I am not "hot." Liar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Diem Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 said to me, "Your the type of girl who looks really pretty from far away." Many years later (college) at my great grandfather's funeral the same dumb cousin walked up to me. Instead of even saying hi, he says loudly with much exasperation, "boy have you gotten fat." He then walked away. I burst into tears. I wasn't even fat. I wonder what he says about me now that I AM fat! As a girl, my aunt who is 5 years older was letting me handle her horse. I must have shied away or something but she said, "Boy you have a lot to learn about horses." Gee, that one really hurt my feelings. I'm kinda laughing at how sensitive I was then! Oh, here was one that bothered me for a very long time and I even let it bother me after we were married. I went home with my dh before we were engaged. We went out with his friends so that he could show me off or whatever. His one friend sat and chatted with me and said, "well you know, Michael wasn't sure he liked you because you are a big woman." Gee, what do you say to that. He sat there with a smart smirk on his face. He made some other comments about me to my face but that one really got to me. Come to find out later that he was very insecure and couldn't stand it that his main buddy was falling in love. He ended up taking his own life by jumping off a building. Very sad. That leads me to point out one of my pet peeves. I abhor being described as big. I am tall not big. Don't call my girls big either. They are tall! Okay that is enough info about me to last for the next year!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate in Arabia Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Most of mine are of the "go back to your own country" variety... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LunaLee Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 About homeschooling... When we decided to pull dd out of school her then teacher said, "But, you are too smart to be homeschooled." One of my dh's aunts (the same aunt who bought us a can of Slim Jim for Christmas one year mind you) asked my dd " So how many friends do you have dear?" Ummm...how many do you have? And my favorite, but it doesn't really count 'cuz he was 4 at the time, was from my son -He said my stretch marked belly looked like the Grinch. :glare: I told him they were battle scars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Okay, who here thinks that Laney should change her name to "Totally Hot"?:lol::lol::lol: Wouldn't that be a hoot! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Liar. You really know how to give a girl a compliment, Crissy!!:lol: From one hottie to another.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseballmom Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 One day a woman came up to me at church and asked if I was pregnant. I told her, "No, I am not pregnant." She looked at me and said, "Well you look like you are!" The ironic thing is that she had just had (Gastro by-pass?) surgery and only a few months before was 400 lbs. I did go on to loose more than 70 lbs. as a result of this comment. Dorothy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 The rudest thing anyone has ever said to me was this gem from my MIL, about a week after my boys were born 3 months early: "I told all the relatives not to bother sending you cards and presents for the babies. That way, if one or more of them dies, you won't have to send the presents back. Also, they won't have to waste time shopping for or returning the presents until we find out what happens." and this... "If one or two of the babies dies, it will be sad, but it will be for the best. I don't see how [my son] will be happy taking care of three babies and having to support them." RC What is it with MILs and babies? As soon as my MIL found out we were having twins with our first pregnancy, she would mention each time that I saw her that two children were "enough" in this day and time, and that we really shouldn't plan on having any more. She was horrified when we announced we were pregnant with dc#3. A couple of years after dc#3 was born, I had a miscarriage. MIL told me that the miscarriage was God's way of protecting me because I certainly didn't need to have any more children. So, in her mind, God killed off our unborn baby because we didn't need another one. You can imagine her displeasure when we later announced our pregnancy with #4. She still hasn't gotten over the fact that we've had 4 dc, and will occasionally make another rude comment, but never in front of dh. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I can see that this *has* built character in you guys - I'm amazed that you just keep silent. I'm not sure I could keep my mouth shut. Oh, I hope I didn't give the impression that I've kept my mouth shut for 25 years. ;) We have had our share of knock- down- drag- out fights as I attempted to 'reason' with my horrid MIL. In fact, this hung on my refrigerator for years: Those who feel they must always speak their mind fail to see silence as an alternative. And yes it was for me. I always say I win the 'worst MIL' prize. Although Jackie's story of her MIL saying it was 'God's will' that her baby died gives me a run for my money. That kind of comment makes my spine stiffen and heat rise to my face in absolute fury. I think my MIL is a Narcissist. Seriously. Once I figured out she is probably mentally ill, it became much easier to ignore some of what she says and remove myself from her presence for the worst of it. It is tricky when it is your MIL though...she is 78 and I feel some obligation to keep some sort of relationship. So I will wait a month or so and call her up and check on her and act as if she never said something like, 'Scarlett looks better in a picture than she does in real life.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 "You have four sons? How sad!" :cursing::banghead: Almost ripped that lady a new one. Oh, Nan, you know we all feel tremendous amounts of sympathy for you, but we're too polite to say anything. :D:D:D (you know I'm kidding, right? I'd take 4 boys in a heartbeat.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Wow. I gotta tell you guys, I don't care for my MIL, but she seems like a saint in comparison to some of the things you've endured. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 You wore Jordache, didn't you? And your MiL was a Lee woman. Right? ;) Yep. :) And what has made this comment particularly ironic to me is that about 4 years ago I discovered that MIL is adopted. We dont know if she knows or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I'm grateful to know I'm in such good company. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 When my sister was 12 and I was 14, she was very self conscious about the fact that she hadn't had a growth spurt yet and her figure still looked childlike. She was not even chubby, just normal pre-adolescent shape. Our pastor's uber-popular 20-year-old daughter was visiting from college, and said to me (in hearing of 3 other teens who blabbed to my sister), "Well, your sister sure is a dumpy thing!" I gave her a piece of my mind! She had sought me out when I was 12 because I was smart and she thought I would be good to "groom" to take over her position as "queen bee" when she graduated high school, but I saw her shallowness and grew to despise her. I later learned that at least one family had decided not to join our church because she made fun of their daughter's weight repeatedly. What I find ironic is that about a year after she mocked my sister, she gained about 15 pounds because she was working and not playing sports anymore. I managed to bite my tongue when I saw her, but boy was I tempted! When I was 13, I was feeling ill at school and went to the kitchen to get a cup of ice water. My mom (also my teacher) came into the kitchen and was discussed taking me home. Another mom turned to me and said, "You feel like cr*p, huh?" My mom gently reminded her that we don't use that language at our Christian school. When my mom left the room, the woman turned to me and flared, "Well, we all know what kind of language YOU use when your mom isn't around." This hurt so much at the time because it was a complete lie, and injustice made me madder than anything! I realized later that she was just embarrassed and took it out on me, but it wounded me horribly to think that someone thought ill of me when I didn't deserve it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 We announced that I was pregnant with #4 when the boys turned a year old. MIL was speechless for the first time in her life! What is it with MILs and babies? As soon as my MIL found out we were having twins with our first pregnancy, she would mention each time that I saw her that two children were "enough" in this day and time, and that we really shouldn't plan on having any more. She was horrified when we announced we were pregnant with dc#3. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Wow, after all these MIL stories, I realize how blessed I am to have the one I do. Anything "offensive" she has ever said pales in comparison. I'm going to give her a call right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraceinMD Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 WOW!! I would never be able to hold my tongue! I *don't* always hold my tongue (more on that below), but what this thread is making me think/pray here is, "Dear Lord, please let me be a blessing to my someday-daughter-in-law, not fodder for a message board! Let me encourage and uplift her and, oh, yes, go back to teaching her future husband to be a great husband!" On the not-holding-my-tongue front: Set up: working as a resident, up for 34 hours, near the end of a really tough shift, wearing scrubs (rarely flattering to women, imo) but no lab coat. A nurse I worked with said, "Wow, have you gained weight?!" I spun around in the middle of the hospital hallway and gave her a huge, happy grin and said (as only the sleep-deprived can do), "Why, yes! Thank you!" She looked very puzzled and said, "Uh ... were you trying to gain weight?" Losing the grin, I snapped, "Well, of COURSE I'm not trying to gain weight! But why would you ask such an incredibly rude and stupid question to anybody, much less someone you barely know?!!" ... and stormed away. Not my finest hour, but, sadly, not my worst hour, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I *don't* always hold my tongue (more on that below), but what this thread is making me think/pray here is, "Dear Lord, please let me be a blessing to my someday-daughter-in-law, not fodder for a message board! Let me encourage and uplift her and, oh, yes, go back to teaching her future husband to be a great husband!" On the not-holding-my-tongue front: Set up: working as a resident, up for 34 hours, near the end of a really tough shift, wearing scrubs (rarely flattering to women, imo) but no lab coat. A nurse I worked with said, "Wow, have you gained weight?!" I spun around in the middle of the hospital hallway and gave her a huge, happy grin and said (as only the sleep-deprived can do), "Why, yes! Thank you!" She looked very puzzled and said, "Uh ... were you trying to gain weight?" Losing the grin, I snapped, "Well, of COURSE I'm not trying to gain weight! But why would you ask such an incredibly rude and stupid question to anybody, much less someone you barely know?!!" ... and stormed away. Not my finest hour, but, sadly, not my worst hour, either. Maybe this isn't what you want to hear right now, but... ...Would you be on my team!? I love your reply to this woman, even if it's not particularly, uh, gracious. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Dh and I were once openly accused in a Cub Scout leader meeting of "hiding our light under a bushel". More was said along those lines. The meeting was a witch hunt. It was a homeschool pack and troop and they were out to dump one family who was not Christian (for that reason alone) and us because we associated with them. My dh had many long talks with most of the people in that group about the Bible. He has never been one to hide his beliefs, but he doesn't shove them down your throat and accepts that people have a right to believe differently. We worked hard as members of this group for two years and the person who made this comment had rarely attended meetings with his children. Others who had known us for the whole time and who had been in on these conversations about God and the Bible took the accuser's side. They let us know we were not welcome and more. This man also said that during a tornado when the entire group was in the basement, he felt the spirit was restraining him from praying because of our presence and this other family being there. My thought was, "What spirit?" It was one of the most evil, nasty situations I have ever been in. The man spoke his words so religiously, and I'm sure to some he seemed like a good Christian concerned about protecting his family's faith. I've been in a few other nasty situations, but I don't think I've ever had anything so insulting and untruthful said about me or my family. One of the things that bothers me most is when someone says I am not being 100% honest or sincere or accuses me of having some ulterior motive. Those things are important to me, so it stings pretty badly when someone says something like that. It happened on another forum once, and after responding, I never went back. The individual that said it used to visit the old board occasionally and just seeing that name made my blood boil. Someone on the old board also called me a "fence-sitter" in regard to my beliefs, and I have had a hard time forgiving that comment. Dh's Italian grandmother can really throw some doozies, too. She told dh I was just marrying him for his money. (Funny since I had a little at that time and he had none. We were both 18 and money was not even a thought.) There have been so many over the years that I can't even begin to list them. If she isn't being insulting, she's being ingratiating which is equally uncomfortable. I am civil to her for dh and MIL's sake only. Otherwise, I would never see her again. Wow, I think I need to work on letting go. Here's a funny one. When I was 15, I went to a weekend Christian youth conference. After the Friday evening meeting, the man leading the meeting began calling names to divide everyone into cabins. He called my name and I stood up. At the time I had very short hair and I was (and still am) pretty flat chested. I was wearing jeans and a blue T-shirt. I was looking down to pick up my Bible and notebook when the comment came, "Um, son, that's a girl's cabin." I looked up and he immediately realized his mistake, but the damage was done. There were a couple hundred teenagers in the room and a row of cute boys (including my not-yet dh) who knew me and who immediately started whooping and hollering and laughing. The man who made the mistake was embarrassed also and apologized profusely, but it didn't help a bit back then. I thought I would surely die! I was so humiliated then, but now I look back and think how funny it was.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam Wilhelm Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 A long, long time ago.......... in a land far away........ a young man I was seeing and I were talking with a bunch of our friends and discussing how we were going to pay for the next beer run. I reached into my pockets and pulled out three cents and offered that....... the young man laughed at my offering and said, "That's what I paid you for the three times we slept together!"...... there was silence in the crowd..... not missing a beat I sneered and slowly let the pennies drop to the asphalt while I retorted, "I didn't think it was worth that much", and slowly walked back to my car and drove away...... the place erupted into laughter and he stood there in my rearview mirror looking like the total jerk he proved himself to be. Ahhhhhhh! Sometimes that one braincell fires off at just the right time and in just the right way............ :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 As a pre-teen and young teenager, I had to endure many insensitive and rude comments about my lack of, um, "development." Many still stick with me to this day... I wish I had the money to get them surgically enhanced, because I'd sure do it. When I was maybe 12 or so, my class in school was practicing Christmas carols. I let slip a wobbly note and my friend (?) sitting next to me turned and said, "Did you have to make that noise?" I won't sing in front of people now. I make halfhearted squeaks when singing Happy Birthday and will only sing to my girls if no one else is around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Most of mine are of the "go back to your own country" variety... Really? Despite the fact that you've converted to the local religion, wear culturally acceptable clothing and are married to a man of Middle Eastern descent? Wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Oh, I hope I didn't give the impression that I've kept my mouth shut for 25 years. ;) We have had our share of knock- down- drag- out fights as I attempted to 'reason' with my horrid MIL. In fact, this hung on my refrigerator for years: Those who feel they must always speak their mind fail to see silence as an alternative. And yes it was for me. I always say I win the 'worst MIL' prize. Although Jackie's story of her MIL saying it was 'God's will' that her baby died gives me a run for my money. That kind of comment makes my spine stiffen and heat rise to my face in absolute fury. I think my MIL is a Narcissist. Seriously. Once I figured out she is probably mentally ill, it became much easier to ignore some of what she says and remove myself from her presence for the worst of it. It is tricky when it is your MIL though...she is 78 and I feel some obligation to keep some sort of relationship. So I will wait a month or so and call her up and check on her and act as if she never said something like, 'Scarlett looks better in a picture than she does in real life.' I have to agree about the part where it becomes easier when you chalk up the comments to mental illness. A lot of these mils are probably afflicted in some way or another so perhaps labeling them as ill would help you all cope with them. Although I could not do that in the situation I related on this thread, I was raised by a schizophrenic (diagnosed) mother who was, at times, very caustic. It is a very long story I won't bore y'all with, but when I was older and was finally *told* what her problem was, I found it much easier to cope. My husband posted a sign near the phone that said, "When talking to your mother keep the conversation as short as possible." He would come home from work to find me in tears because my mother had called to say something not very sweet. *sigh* She died of lung cancer in 1995 and, at times, I miss her. She wasn't always difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 We just had a comment this weekend. We were camping and the boys each played a song for our friends while we sat around the campfire. Ds (8) had just finished playing Minuet 2 and was putting his helmet on to go for a bike ride when someone yelled from the next campsite over, "Will you stop that terrible noise?" Someone from our campsite asked what they were talking about and the angry person answered, "That awful fiddling noise - that's enough!" I appreciate that not everyone likes to hear young boys play the violin, but it was one song each. And there are so many better ways of asking. Instead she yelled mean things at an eight year old who had just proudly played his latest polished piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Has anyone else noticed the preponderance of mental illness, MILs, rude authority figures making strong impressions on us as adolescents and... the fact that we are all now determined to not pass such behaviors on? Well, given that mental illness isn't simply behavioral (much more complex)... but that, by homeschooling our children, we're all committed to giving our children an environment, and the tools wherein they don't have to deal with the types of indelible marks we are discussing. We're so cool. (and my quirky kid is so *not* going to replicate the nightmare his quirky parents and their friends endured in public school) Don't get me started on my MIL... asta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H0MEFree Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 A couple pregnancy ones: When I was very obviously 9 months pg with my first, I needed to buy some shoes for my swollen feet. We walked into a store and the owner told me that I couldn't come in in "that condition." I said 'What condition?" He said," Well, I can't have you having your baby in my store." I started laughing and said, "I wish. Buddy, it rarely happens that way." I am sure that I related this story here before. I was pg with my 2nd - maybe 7 months. On my way to work, I got stopped for a ticket for improper lane usage. I had to go to the bathroom SOOOO bad and the cop wouldn't let me get out of my car to visit the ladies' room at the gas station across the street. So, when I finally arrived at work, I was IN A MOOD. On the elevator, a man in his late '50's, making conversation, said "Due any day?" Trying to be nice, I said, "No, 2 more months." He then said, "Oh you must be having twins." Well, I lost it - I lit into him about how he just called me fat and that this is what 7 months pregnant looks like -and no, we don't hide out in our houses to not offend the masses with our large, offensive girth, etc. I really let him have it. We got off at the same floor and I then saw him walk into the executive wing. He was the VP in from New York. I slithered off to the bathroom and hid in my cube most of the day!! Oh I got this same thing last week.... but I am not even 6 months preggo yet. (shock!) However, it is my 4th pregnancy. When I was pregnant with #3 it had been 7 years since my last child was born. I was on the phone telling an old friend about this new pregnancy and she responded - after a moment of silence- "This IS your last one, right?" :confused: What? It was only my third baby! Wonder what she'd say if she knew I was pregnant again with #4 at 37 years old? LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H0MEFree Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Way back when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I was 24. (Six years older than my mom when she got pregnant the first time) My mother responded with disappointment and stayed that way until baby was born. But the thing she said right off was "Oh, I thought you would wait until you were older and had more money." (Mom, I may never be a high paying executive and I am not waiting til I am 50 and my plumbing stops working before I have kids) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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