Please help me think of interesting pursuits for my DD

[Granny_Weatherwax]

We have hit our first post-graduation, pre-baby reality check. All of DD's friends, including her boyfriend, are registering for college classes, working summer jobs and preparing for fall. DD is feeling left out and I would love to help her find something to fill her time.

 

Please don't suggest she find a job. She has turned in application after application but we live in a small town and news travels quickly. She is being turned down nicely or not even being acknowledged. She can't be a CNA because of her size, no heavy lifting (per her midwife). Traveling to a larger metropolitan area for a part-time summer job is not an option.

 

She needs something to keep her busy. Can you help me think of new and interesting hobbies that are inexpensive to begin?

 

Maybe sewing? Sewing machines are inexpensive, right? Maybe she could make curtains and stuff for the baby's room? Table cloths and napkins for when she moves?

 

Is sewing something an 18 yo would be interested in?:confused:

 

Please help.

 

---

Edited: I appreciate all of the replies and I am looking in to many of your suggestions. Please know, however, that I am looking for a summer diversion; something that will occupy her time while her friends are working and doing those final college preparations. She plans on enrolling in CC classes in the Fall and continuing her formal education.

Edited June 11, 2011 by The Dragon Academy

[Mrs Mungo]

Is sewing something an 18 yo would be interested in?:confused:

 

Yes, she could even make a little money on the side, if she wants. I have purchased tons of baby blankets and burp cloths off of etsy. I've also purchased aprons, cute skirts, things that I'm sure are easy to sew with a little time and know-how. Do you have a local sewing shop that teaches lessons?

 

Craft magazine has some great young and trendy projects that might appeal to her. Some of them are available via their website or podcast.

 

If she gets interested in the business aspect, she could look into classes at your local SBA.

 

Do you have a local community college? They might offer short summer classes in sewing or there might be something else entirely that she is interested in.

 

I hope you find something for her. :grouphug:

[fairfarmhand]

when I was 18 I was interested. I sewed a quilt for my baby and enjoyed it.

 

FTR, I was in much the same predicament as you dd. My surprise is 13. It takes a few years, but soon, people will move on. Even in small towns.

[Julie]

I can sew, don't like to sew, but really liked sewing stuff for my kidos. I took up watercolor after I graduated college, and have since taken up other artistic pursuits, collage, altered books, etc. I could loose myself for house being arty, any chance she has an arty side you can bring out?

 

What about some sort of volunteerism? That can eat up time and rewarding as well.

[Mrs Mungo]

Look what I found! Really cute ideas. :)

[Caitilin]

:grouphug:

Is DD not going to college in the fall? Clearly, I am not in her shoes, but have been, and with twins!, and I just want to encourage you and her that going to school and having a baby are not mutually exclusive endeavors, especially since she has such a supportive family. DH and I did marry before babies were born, (and are still happily so!:D), and we needed lots of help, from various places, but I was able to continue in college. Please do not read this as a criticism if her plans are different--I just want to reassure you that if college IS in her plans, having a baby doesn't mean that it needs to be "off the table," so to speak. In some ways, it can be easier, as there are often more aid options available. Again, :grouphug:.

 

Anyway, personally, I would have chewed off my own leg rather than try sewing while pregnant:tongue_smilie:, but many love it. I just don't have the kind of patience you need for sewing. What about photography? She will love to take pics of baby when it arrives, and she can practice now. In the long run, of course, one needs a better quality camera, but for a beginner, I imagine an ordinary one would do well enough.

I like beading, but it adds up quickly, though individual components are cheap.

Sorry not to have some more ideas. All the best to her, and to you!:grouphug:

[Qcaller]

How about digital scrapbooking? I assume your family is computer literate since you are hanging out in an online forum. Photoshop Elements can usually be purchased for around $100 (about the same price as a basic sewing machine). There are tons of free scrapping supplies. Learning the ropes of photoshop can be a very useful skill in future employment as well as a satisfying personal hobby. I haven't had much time to pursue the hobby lately but you can see some of my older projects here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/qcaller/collections/72157600296730800/

 

Best of luck to you and your daughter,

Pam

[eternalknot]

I have a 19 year old sister. I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but I'm guessing thereabouts.

 

My sister has no desire to sew. She has a girlfriend who has been sewing since they were in middle school because it's always been a passion of hers - she's currently studying textiles at university, no surprise. Has your daughter expressed an interest in this?

 

My sister does like crafty things - crochet, knitting, cross-stitch - but they go in waves of uber-interest followed by "I'm giving it up for good" periods. That never last LOL. My sister's friend also does felted wool projects, so there's an option; part of the hobby is hunting down fabrics from thrift stores and such to use in her projects. She made me cloth diaper covers :)

 

Photography is a good, enjoyable hobby for a mommy.

 

If she's more athletically-inclined, can she get into a swim habit? It'd be great during as well as after her pregnancy. She can do water aerobics, or maybe even just laps. I used to swim when my kids were napping and it was a great de-stressor and time to clear my head, relax.

 

Cooking or baking? Watch some Food Network shows, get creative in the kitchen?

 

Writing? Maybe blogging? Some of the mommy blogs rake in great products doing reviews, and I'm sure there are plenty of giveaways she could participate in or host perfect for pregnant or new moms.

 

What are her interests and special talents?

[OnTheBrink]

If she wants to sew, please don't get her a cheap machine. There's no faster way to frustrate a hormonal preggie lady than to get her a cheap sewing machine that is of low quality. And most (dare I say all?) cheap machines are of low quality.

 

How about blogging? Cooking? Knitting or crocheting? Volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center? Volunteering at the library?

 

I'm sorry she's having a hard time finding a job. People are jerks.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

Maybe some online tutoring? Finding her own students or maybe with a big company like tutor.com.

 

Of course, that's what I would enjoy, what does she enjoy?

[PeterPan]

Oh yes, definitely learn sewing! There are simple baby projects she can make for herself (bibs, pretty burp cloths, baby quilt, etc.). The ones I made were from here http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/2007/11/november-18-for-baby/ and they would be FABULOUS for her to start with, crazy easy. And they have some room for creativity if she wants. (Cut pictures out of the flannel to sew on the other side with a zigzag stitch, etc.) For the machine, yes you can get a good machine inexpensively. The upper level Kenmores (yes, Sears) are made by Janome and are decent little machines. Or watch for a good used one.

 

Now this is just me, but I wouldn't let her sit all day sewing. It's just not healthy to sit that much. She might also want to take up gardening and plant some things. They'll be happy next spring as she tends them. Plant peonies or a lilac bush. Plant something that will bloom each year for the baby's birthday. (Love this!) Being outdoors will be good for her.

 

The other thing is to give her something to learn. It could be TC courses on audio while she gardens. Or maybe it's audiobooks (all the Jane Austens, some Michener, whatever). Pick a genre and start listening. She needs to continue to grow as a person, not stagnate. If she hasn't done any reading on housekeeping, now might be a good time. Aslett has some good books.

 

Love crochet and knitting, but again that's sitting. Do it, but not all day, lol.

 

I didn't work when I was pregnant with my 1st dc. There's plenty to do, just learning about things (babies, birth, housekeeping, etc.). But you know what really might benefit her? Some volunteer work. If she can't get paid, she can still accrue wisdom and experience by volunteering. Maybe there's a women's shelter where she could spend some time serving? Or in a church nursery? Just something connecting her to other people and helping her continue to grow and mature. She might also like to do a course or two by correspondence, if she has any visions of a degree one day. She might be able to find some certification program that has a 1 year course that she could finish, just to say she has done something like that, kwim? It's going to be easier now than later.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

:grouphug:

 

What is she interested in now? Before the pregnancy, what was she planning on doing this fall? Is there a reason she isn't registering for classes?

 

Depending on the baby's due date, she could still take classes this fall. (I'm thinking you said January? But I can't remember! :tongue_smilie:) If the baby is due during the semester, she can work it out with her professors to do the work before, or alternately, take an incomplete and finish up next semester. Many community colleges offer online courses that would be a really good option for after baby is born.

 

Does she have any current interests that she could explore further? Does she like to read and write? Could she start a novel or blog? If she is athletic, there are activities that can be done during pregnancy (not sure what they might be, since all I wanted to do while pregnant was sleep and rest :lol:).

 

I'm not much older than your DD (I mean, 7 years, but really. :D) I tried to pick up knitting... it was fun while it lasted, but much like all the OTHER projects I start ended up shoved in a drawer. BUT- I did really like it. Would she?

 

more :grouphug:. I hope she finds something useful to her! I know how alienating it can be to be pregnant so young, have friends who are out living life, and feel like you are just sitting there watching things happen.

[LibraryLover]

Loads of homemaking/waiting- for -baby ideas here:

 

http://www.soulemama.com.

 

Knitting, quilting, gardening, painting, sewing, embroidering, drawing, soaping, diapering, photographing, organizing etc etc etc

 

Could well make your head spin. :)

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug:

Is DD not going to college in the fall? I'll address this first --- No, she is not. She was accepted to a school 3 hours away. The baby is due in early Nov. DD didn't think she would be able to give birth, take care of a newborn and finish up the semester on her own. The idea of leaving the baby with someone else for her first 6 weeks of life was not something she wanted to entertain. Her housing plans were altered because having a baby in the dorm is not allowed. She would have had to have applied for special permission for off campus housing and, had that been granted, we couldn't have afforded the rent. Clearly, I am not in her shoes, but have been, and with twins!, and I just want to encourage you and her that going to school and having a baby are not mutually exclusive endeavors, We know. Unfortunately we live in an wehre the only local 4 year school is an expensive PLA college and we cannot afford the tuition. DD is a good student but not good enough to receive enough acadmenic scholarships to reduce our expenses enough to make it affordable. especially since she has such a supportive family. DH and I did marry before babies were born, (and are still happily so!:D), and we needed lots of help, from various places, but I was able to continue in college. Please do not read this as a criticism if her plans are different--I just want to reassure you that if college IS in her plans, having a baby doesn't mean that it needs to be "off the table," so to speak. In some ways, it can be easier, as there are often more aid options available.This is what we thought, too, but evidently schools/government have changed regulations. Even if we emancipate DD, she does not receive enough aid to cover tuition, off campus housing and other living expenses. She cannot live with us and be emancipated. Again, :grouphug:.

 

Anyway, personally, I would have chewed off my own leg rather than try sewing while pregnant:tongue_smilie:, but many love it. I just don't have the kind of patience you need for sewing. What about photography? She will love to take pics of baby when it arrives, and she can practice now. In the long run, of course, one needs a better quality camera, but for a beginner, I imagine an ordinary one would do well enough.

I like beading, but it adds up quickly, though individual components are cheap.

Sorry not to have some more ideas. All the best to her, and to you!:grouphug:

Thank you for your suggestions. It is appreciated.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I can sew, don't like to sew, but really liked sewing stuff for my kidos. I took up watercolor after I graduated college, and have since taken up other artistic pursuits, collage, altered books, etc. I could loose myself for house being arty, any chance she has an arty side you can bring out?

 

What about some sort of volunteerism? That can eat up time and rewarding as well.

I had thought about this earlier but I must have forgotten. Thank you for reminding me. :)

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Look what I found! Really cute ideas. :)

 

That looks great. I may get it for me!

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I have a 19 year old sister. I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but I'm guessing thereabouts.

 

My sister has no desire to sew. She has a girlfriend who has been sewing since they were in middle school because it's always been a passion of hers - she's currently studying textiles at university, no surprise. Has your daughter expressed an interest in this? No. Sewing is my idea and why I am not so sure it will fly.

 

My sister does like crafty things - crochet, knitting, cross-stitch - but they go in waves of uber-interest followed by "I'm giving it up for good" periods. That never last LOL. My sister's friend also does felted wool projects, so there's an option; part of the hobby is hunting down fabrics from thrift stores and such to use in her projects. She made me cloth diaper covers :)

 

Photography is a good, enjoyable hobby for a mommy.

 

If she's more athletically-inclined, can she get into a swim habit? It'd be great during as well as after her pregnancy. She can do water aerobics, or maybe even just laps. I used to swim when my kids were napping and it was a great de-stressor and time to clear my head, relax.

 

Cooking or baking? Watch some Food Network shows, get creative in the kitchen?

 

Writing? Maybe blogging? Some of the mommy blogs rake in great products doing reviews, and I'm sure there are plenty of giveaways she could participate in or host perfect for pregnant or new moms.

 

What are her interests and special talents?

At the moment, when I question her, she doesn't know. She is feeling a little lost.

 

Thank you for hte suggestions, though. I will present these to her and maybe she will get excited over something.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

If she wants to sew, please don't get her a cheap machine. There's no faster way to frustrate a hormonal preggie lady than to get her a cheap sewing machine that is of low quality. And most (dare I say all?) cheap machines are of low quality. Thank you for this advice. :D I certainly don't want to make matters worse.

 

How about blogging? Cooking? Knitting or crocheting? Volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center? Volunteering at the library?

 

I'm sorry she's having a hard time finding a job. People are jerks.

Thank you.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug:

 

What is she interested in now? Before the pregnancy, what was she planning on doing this fall? Is there a reason she isn't registering for classes?

I answered this in an earlier reply and don't feel like retyping the response;).

 

Depending on the baby's due date, she could still take classes this fall. (I'm thinking you said January? But I can't remember! :tongue_smilie:) If the baby is due during the semester, she can work it out with her professors to do the work before, or alternately, take an incomplete and finish up next semester. Many community colleges offer online courses that would be a really good option for after baby is born.

 

Does she have any current interests that she could explore further? Does she like to read and write? Could she start a novel or blog? If she is athletic, there are activities that can be done during pregnancy (not sure what they might be, since all I wanted to do while pregnant was sleep and rest :lol:).

 

I'm not much older than your DD (I mean, 7 years, but really. :D) I tried to pick up knitting... it was fun while it lasted, but much like all the OTHER projects I start ended up shoved in a drawer. BUT- I did really like it. Would she?

 

more :grouphug:. I hope she finds something useful to her! I know how alienating it can be to be pregnant so young, have friends who are out living life, and feel like you are just sitting there watching things happen.[/QUOTE]

This is what I hope to derail.

[Caroline]

If she wants to sew, you could look for a used sewing machine. Quilters are often upgrading their machines, and the used market is pretty big. Sometimes they just give away their old machines, but not often. Older (think 60's-early 70's) Singers are good. Also, new used Berninas, Vikings, or Pfaffs are pretty good.

 

If she is artistic, art quilting may be something she could get interested in. While pregnant, I would not suggest any fabric dying, but there are lots of techniques that you can do without hand dying your own fabric. Google Pamela Allen, Laura Cater-Woods, or just look at the google images of art quilts.

 

One thing I have made that people love are 45 inch square flannel baby blankets. They are larger than ones you buy in the store, so are good for swaddling long babies, and they are big enough to throw over the car seat when going out in the cold. I like to make them flannel on one side and minky on the other.

 

Also easy and fun (and sellable) are pillow cases. You can get all sorts of fun fabrics and make infinite combinations for cuff and body. Those are easy to start with and will help you learn to sew a straight line and keep a consistent seam allowance. Either ask in a quilt store or google pillowcase pattern. There are lots out there.

 

I love to sew, and wish I had more time to do it. Please PM me if you have questions.

[Murmer]

Are there any nonprofits that might benefit from some cheap/free help? Perhaps something that could lead to a job in the future?

[actuary]

How about cross-stitching? When I was 18, I did a lot of cross stitching. There are a lot of pretty kits at craft stores like Michael's. She could even make a little sampler or something and then leave the space blank to fill in her baby's date of birth?

 

I've had good success using Dimensions kits.

 

Here's an example of a birth record sampler. I don't know what your daughter's decorating tastes are, but maybe she might enjoy doing something like that?

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Are there any nonprofits that might benefit from some cheap/free help? Perhaps something that could lead to a job in the future?

 

These are the organizations in town that I know about:

The animal shelter (always looking for volunteers but she doesn't feel comfortable going there due to the pregnancy)

the food pantry (overwhelmed with volunteers and you have to apply to try to get a position)

the library - again, more volunteers than they know what to do with

pregnancy center - too many volunteers

 

She can't do meals on wheels because she and I have to share a vehicle and I need it to get back and forth to work each morning.

 

The agencies around here tend to have an abundance of volunteers (due to an aging population) but a lack of resources.

 

---

We have discussed volunteering in a nursing home but the smells make her nauseated and she tends to get sick. She is hoping her odor sensitivity decreases now that she is in the second trimester.

 

Can you give me ideas for other agencies?

[elegantlion]

At the moment, when I question her, she doesn't know. She is feeling a little lost.

Thank you for hte suggestions, though. I will present these to her and maybe she will get excited over something.

 

:grouphug: I think sewing is a practical idea. My mom sews beautifully, I can't sew a straight line.

 

Is she adverse to continuing part of her education at home? Even if it's not for credit, just to keep her skills fresh.

 

I'll be honest, learning to sew while pregnant would have driven me off the edge. I think it's a valid suggestion, and you know your dd, but...she's 18, planned on going to college. Now she's going to a mom and she's going to learn sewing? (just trying to view this from her perspective, trying to imagine how I'd feel in that situation). Is sewing something she might lump into one of those "homemaker" type skills and that's probably not where she saw herself being at 18? I don't know, at 18 I probably would have agreed to learn and then cried myself to sleep because my life was out of control. That nothing *I* wanted in life was going to happen.

 

You are doing a beautiful job handling this, so it may not be that awful of a suggestion coming from you, but I'd add a few options. I'd either dabble in a few them or choose a focus area.

 

Is she artistic? Maybe drawing or painting. What about writing? Maybe start a journal to her baby. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Caroline]

I feel like I am stalking you this morning, but I hadn't thought of it from this perspective. I learned to sew at a young age. However, if someone had said why don't you learn to sew instead of going to engineering school when I was 18, I might have reacted in a not so nice way.

 

:grouphug: I think sewing is a practical idea. My mom sews beautifully, I can't sew a straight line.

 

Is she adverse to continuing part of her education at home? Even if it's not for credit, just to keep her skills fresh.

 

I'll be honest, learning to sew while pregnant would have driven me off the edge. I think it's a valid suggestion, and you know your dd, but...she's 18, planned on going to college. Now she's going to a mom and she's going to learn sewing? (just trying to view this from her perspective, trying to imagine how I'd feel in that situation). Is sewing something she might lump into one of those "homemaker" type skills and that's probably not where she saw herself being at 18? I don't know, at 18 I probably would have agreed to learn and then cried myself to sleep because my life was out of control. That nothing *I* wanted in life was going to happen.

 

You are doing a beautiful job handling this, so it may not be that awful of a suggestion coming from you, but I'd add a few options. I'd either dabble in a few them or choose a focus area.

 

Is she artistic? Maybe drawing or painting. What about writing? Maybe start a journal to her baby. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Mommyfaithe]

What about doing one online college course? Or studying for CLEP tests. I got pregnant at 20 and was in much the same position as your dd....dh and I did get married, but my college career was over...and although I dealt with it, I can not say that I never felt cheated of my education. Neither my parents nor dh's were supportive in any way.

 

I can't help but think of the "if onlies" .....

 

I have been self studying since then, however I have no proof of my education other than well educated kids:D

 

If you can encourage her to pursue her dreams in whatever way you can, it will bless you, her and the new darling baby.

 

Blessings,

Faithe

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug: I think sewing is a practical idea. My mom sews beautifully, I can't sew a straight line. I'm right there with you. I take all of my DS's boy scout badges to a tailor. I tried to sew some merit badges on his sash once. When I took it to the tailor the next time he made me promise never, ever to do so again. :)

 

Is she adverse to continuing part of her education at home? Even if it's not for credit, just to keep her skills fresh. IDK. She has mentioned taking a couple of comm. college classes in the fall but she needs something to do this summer.

 

I'll be honest, learning to sew while pregnant would have driven me off the edge. I think it's a valid suggestion, and you know your dd, but...she's 18, planned on going to college. Now she's going to a mom and she's going to learn sewing? (just trying to view this from her perspective, trying to imagine how I'd feel in that situation). Is sewing something she might lump into one of those "homemaker" type skills and that's probably not where she saw herself being at 18? I don't know, at 18 I probably would have agreed to learn and then cried myself to sleep because my life was out of control. That nothing *I* wanted in life was going to happen.

You have expressed exactly what I am concerned about. I want her to realize that she is still an individual, with possibilities and a future. She is more than a pregnant teenager. Most people look at her now and all they see and talk about is the pregnancy. I do not want her to lose herself, iykwim. This is a temporary delay.

You are doing a beautiful job handling this, so it may not be that awful of a suggestion coming from you, but I'd add a few options. I'd either dabble in a few them or choose a focus area. Thank you for your kind words. THey are appreciated.

 

Is she artistic? Maybe drawing or painting. What about writing? Maybe start a journal to her baby. :grouphug::grouphug:

Well...in short, not so much with drawing or painting.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Is there anything she has expressed interest in, in the past? In school she was on student council, tennis team, cheerleading, yearbook...those are the things she enjoyed.

What was the intended college major?

Public realtions or pre-nursing (she was interested in a BSN)

How about picking:

 

one appropriate new physical fitness activity, for variety

one new skill to pick up in the family and consumer science area

a new responsibility in the home - gardening, balancing the menu, experimenting w/new recipes

I like this idea.

 

Since she's an adult, can she join a civic organization - Lion's Club, Red Cross volunteer, etc?

IDK. I'll have to look into it.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I feel like I am stalking you this morning, Stalk me all you want. IT makes me feel loved!! ;)but I hadn't thought of it from this perspective. I learned to sew at a young age. However, if someone had said why don't you learn to sew instead of going to engineering school when I was 18, I might have reacted in a not so nice way.

That's why I am asking for Hive advice!!!

[Granny_Weatherwax]

What about doing one online college course? Or studying for CLEP tests. I got pregnant at 20 and was in much the same position as your dd....dh and I did get married, but my college career was over...and although I dealt with it, I can not say that I never felt cheated of my education. Neither my parents nor dh's were supportive in any way. This breaks my heart. :grouphug:

 

I can't help but think of the "if onlies" .....

 

I have been self studying since then, however I have no proof of my education other than well educated kids:D and that, my dear, is to your credit and speaks volumes about your talents and character...

 

If you can encourage her to pursue her dreams in whatever way you can, it will bless you, her and the new darling baby.

 

Blessings,

Faithe

 

 

:grouphug:

[hana]

Forgive me if I missed something, as I've looked quickly through the replies. You mentioned that she might want to do community college courses in the fall. Why not this summer? She could get a few gen. ed. credits under her belt.

[SailorMom]

I can totally understand not going to school in the first year. Having a baby is exhausting and a full time job :) My sons didn't sleep for such a long time - there is no way I would have had the mental power to go to school on no sleep.

I do hope she still feels she has options after. Online classes are wonderful - I'm currently taking them for a graduate degree. I highly recommend them.

 

As for now, exercise, sewing, volunteering at your church (if you go)- or volunteering anywhere else for that matter :) -, painting ceramics (when I was pregnant I painted ceramic Christmas ornaments for presents for my family that year), reading - heck -you don't need to go to college to learn (as we as homeschoolers all know :) )....

[Dobela]

Has she applied for WIC yet? Our health department is always offering free classes to moms and moms to be, some are cooking classes, some are just times to get together and talk.

 

Our local paper always has alist once a week of places needing volunteers. Most of the time it is for easy things like answering the phones.

[Melinda in VT]

What did she like about working on the yearbook? The writing? The layout?

 

Both of those are things she can work on independently, and they would be helpful if she ends up pursuing a public relations career.

 

If she likes writing, a blog might be great. If she likes layout, maybe an online or self-study class (or a summer CC class if it isn't too late) in web design? Is there someone she could job-shadow for the summer, maybe someone who could use some basic office help in exchange for the chance to see what a public relations job is like?

 

As for volunteer work, is there a family who could use some assistance with summer care for their children? Or an elderly person who could use someone to drop in and check on them, run small errands, etc?

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Forgive me if I missed something, as I've looked quickly through the replies. You mentioned that she might want to do community college courses in the fall. Why not this summer? She could get a few gen. ed. credits under her belt.

 

Courses are already under way and she missed the deadline for financial aid.

[Mrs Mungo]

Courses are already under way and she missed the deadline for financial aid.

 

Our local cc has a lot of short courses through the summer-art, sewing, cooking, things like that. They are inexpensive, around $50 for a couple of weeks, every day. Is there something like that offered in your area?

[JFSinIL]

I agree with those who mentioned studying for CLEP test, taking an on-line or CC course....and did she ask the college for a deferment? If she could wait a year before attending...and in the meantime get some basic coursework done via CC and/or CLEP (which makes her look serious about continuing her education)....has she talked to her college admission person about these options?

 

I can't see trading in college for...sewing. CLEP/CC and baby make a doable combo. I'd push that before finding her a hobby. She'll need a degree eventually to help support her kidlet. Sewing/crafting/scrapbooking won't do.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Has she applied for WIC yet? Our health department is always offering free classes to moms and moms to be, some are cooking classes, some are just times to get together and talk. She was denied because she is still a dependent and they looked at the entire household income.

 

Our local paper always has alist once a week of places needing volunteers. Most of the time it is for easy things like answering the phones.

I wish all places did this. Our town paper doesn't list volunteer opportunites unless the organization is featured in an article or hasa sepcific need. Recent articles have mainly requested donations of goods or money, not people.

[JFSinIL]

Courses are already under way and she missed the deadline for financial aid.

 

Get her a couple CLEP books and have her sign up to take the tests later.

 

My ds is home from his freshman year...he has Organic Chem and Cell Bio in the fall...I got him all the Organic Chem books the library has and he is studying up to be less over-whelmed in the fall. Libraries usually have CLEP books, too!!! Why pay tuition to take a basic class if one can CLEP out of it??? She can study, CLEP a few courses, then when baby is older take CC courses, get those first two years of basic stuff done over 3 - 4 years, then go to the four-year school as a transfer student down the road. Don't worry NOW about paying for that last bit - she may be married or qualify for different aid or ??? by then. Just do baby-steps (pun intended) of CLEPing towards CC credit for now.

Edited June 11, 2011 by JFSinIL

[fairfarmhand]

These are the organizations in town that I know about:

The animal shelter (always looking for volunteers but she doesn't feel comfortable going there due to the pregnancy)

the food pantry (overwhelmed with volunteers and you have to apply to try to get a position)

the library - again, more volunteers than they know what to do with

pregnancy center - too many volunteers

 

She can't do meals on wheels because she and I have to share a vehicle and I need it to get back and forth to work each morning.

 

The agencies around here tend to have an abundance of volunteers (due to an aging population) but a lack of resources.

 

---

We have discussed volunteering in a nursing home but the smells make her nauseated and she tends to get sick. She is hoping her odor sensitivity decreases now that she is in the second trimester.

 

Can you give me ideas for other agencies?

 

What about churches? Some of them might be ugly considering the circumstances, but I know others who would be happy to work with her. Mother's Day out programs usually need workers. MAny of them have food pantries, and other programs that might suit.

 

What about doing one online college course? Or studying for CLEP tests. I got pregnant at 20 and was in much the same position as your dd....dh and I did get married, but my college career was over...and although I dealt with it, I can not say that I never felt cheated of my education. Neither my parents nor dh's were supportive in any way.

 

I can't help but think of the "if onlies" .....

 

I have been self studying since then, however I have no proof of my education other than well educated kids:D

 

If you can encourage her to pursue her dreams in whatever way you can, it will bless you, her and the new darling baby.

 

Blessings,

Faithe

this is a good idea. She can get lots of college credit using CLEP tests.

 

http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/clep/about.html

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I agree with those who mentioned studying for CLEP test, taking an on-line or CC course....and did she ask the college for a deferment? Yes, her enrollment and scholarships have been deferred until Spring semester. Entrance later than that requires reapplication and no guarantee for the scholarships. If she could wait a year before attending...and in the meantime get some basic coursework done via CC and/or CLEP (which makes her look serious about continuing her education)....has she talked to her college admission person about these options? Yes, she has. It was heartbreaking listening to her request the deferrment and asking about her options. It's how she learned about the lack of on campus housing for pregnant students or new parents.

 

I can't see trading in college for...sewing. CLEP/CC and baby make a doable combo. I'd push that before finding her a hobby. She'll need a degree eventually to help support her kidlet. Sewing/crafting/scrapbooking won't do.

I think I may have misrepresented myself. I am not looking for her to replace college. I am trying to find something for her to do this summer, for the next three months. Her friends are all working (albeit with reduced hours) and are making final college plans (registration, dorm room selections, orientation, etc). She is not and she is aware of her loss. I want to give her something to focus on now, something that will show her that she can keep moving forward and not stagnate, something other than a growing belly. She is so much more than a pregnant teen.

 

When I suggested sewing I wasn't thinking of a way for her to support herself and the baby. I was thinking of something to get her off the couch while her friends are busy this summer.

Edited June 11, 2011 by The Dragon Academy

[beaners]

I also think studying some of the material that she would eventually need would be helpful. Even if she doesn't decide to CLEP out of courses, knowing the material going into it can be a tremendous advantage when you're trying to go to school and care for young children. I don't know if she's done any opencourseware before, but there are a lot of schools with classes posted now. It's nice to be able to work through at your own pace.

 

I'm going back to school half-time right now. It is hard, and obviously something will need to change with your finances and her finances for it to happen right now, but I really hope she doesn't give up on it. I'd try to focus on something related to her long-term goals so that they stay fresh in her mind.

[fairfarmhand]

I think I may have misrepresented myself. I am not looking for her to replace college. I am trying to find something for her to do this summer, for the next three months. Her friends are all working (albeit with reduced hours) and are making final college plans (registration, dorm room selections, orientation, etc). She is not and she is aware of her loss. I want to give her something to focus on now, something that will show her that she can keep moving forward and not stagnate, something other than a growing belly. She is so much more than a pregnant teen.

 

When I suggested sewing I wasn't thinking of a way to support herself or the baby. I was thinking of something to get her off the couch while her friends are busy this summer.

 

 

she needs to take a walk every day (as dr. permits)

 

She could take over the meal prep and planning.

 

Hobbies would be good. Something interesting and fun to talk about when she runs into others she knows. Since she did yearbook, would scrapbooking be something she'd be interested in? You already thought about sewing, which would be good.

 

Are there any elderly neighbors she could visit with? I know you said the nursing homes would make her ill, but what about contacting social services and seeing if there are shut ins who would like the company? Also 4-H around here does summer activities and they might like the help. (call your agricultural extension agency. And no it is not all chickens and cows. There are tons of fun things going on. Our 4-H club is putting on a cooking and grilling camp)

[AngieW in Texas]

Since she's due in November, I would see if she can get some community college classes in. She may still be able to get into a class for the 2nd summer session. Where I live, the 2nd summer session starts June 29th and there are still some classes with seats available. I think getting into anything would be preferable to feeling like she's going nowhere over the summer.

 

I would still have her sign up for classes for the fall at the cc. She'll need to go to advising NOW to do it though. At our cc, new students are able to register for fall classes beginning June 13th, so she should still have the ability to get into some classes.

 

If she did defer her enrollment for the university she was going to go to and she has a scholarship or financial aid for it, you will need to check with them to make sure that doing some for-credit classes now won't invalidate her scholarship or financial aid.

 

If she can't take classes for credit, then she should look into the continuing education classes at the cc.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Also 4-H around here does summer activities and they might like the help. (call your agricultural extension agency. And no it is not all chickens and cows. There are tons of fun things going on. Our 4-H club is putting on a cooking and grilling camp)

 

I like this! We are already a 4H family. DD will be continuing her participation in 4H. She only has one project, though, and there is only one meeting left before the show in July.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Since she's due in November, I would see if she can get some community college classes in. She may still be able to get into a class for the 2nd summer session. Where I live, the 2nd summer session starts June 29th and there are still some classes with seats available. I think getting into anything would be preferable to feeling like she's going nowhere over the summer.No second summer session here. Summer session began on June 6 and ends the last Thursday in July.

 

I would still have her sign up for classes for the fall at the cc. She'll need to go to advising NOW to do it though. At our cc, new students are able to register for fall classes beginning June 13th, so she should still have the ability to get into some classes. She is registering for fall.

 

If she did defer her enrollment for the university she was going to go to and she has a scholarship or financial aid for it, you will need to check with them to make sure that doing some for-credit classes now won't invalidate her scholarship or financial aid. Good idea. I'll have her call them next week.

 

If she can't take classes for credit, then she should look into the continuing education classes at the cc.

Thanks.

[DarlaS]

 

I would still have her sign up for classes for the fall at the cc. She'll need to go to advising NOW to do it though. At our cc, new students are able to register for fall classes beginning June 13th, so she should still have the ability to get into some classes.

 

 

:iagree:

 

And at our college, any online classes are 8 weeks long, so they run Aug. through Oct. and Oct. through Dec. for the fall semester.

[texasmama]

I've not read the replies, but I would concentrate on handicrafts and such. It is simple to make tied tutus (no sewing), and the expense of materials is not great. She can sell them online or at boutique places. Tulle can be purchased fairly cheaply on ebay. Something like this might get you through the summer.

 

Are there any volunteer opportunities for her? Local library? Human society/animal shelter? Any non profit agencies with filing work? Nursing home visiting? It might feel very good to her to offer something to others, as well as taking up some time. (I understand that you are in a small town and that she is pregnant, but surely there are businesses/agencies who would welcome her help.)

[DarlaS]

I would also like to post a quick defense of sewing. ;)

 

It seems to be getting a bad rap here as a purely practical and domestic pursuit. It can be that, but I don't think that's really the case anymore. It can be a form of artistic expression as easily as any other hand craft.

 

In my mind, it's a creative pursuit equivalent to woodworking. No one confuses that with the drudgery of home maintenance tasks, but sewing is always lumped in with "tasks" like hemming pants & sewing on patches. Why is that? :confused:

 

There's also the instant gratification factor. I have crocheted in the past, and even tried knitting, but didn't have the patience for either. I loved sewing because it's faster. I am not a domestic type. :tongue_smilie:

[JenC3]

I think the CLEP idea is a good one. Does she like to read? Boy, if I'd been 18 and pregnant and didn't have to work and had a supportive mom like you, I would have read all day long!

 

Honestly, and don't take this the wrong way... But she needs to have a stern talk about NOT being mopey. This is the situation, she's in it and yes her friends all have different priorities right now. No, life's not over, but it is derailed. I can't tell you how many women who I went to HS with who were teen moms that just graduated from college this year.

 

Start her reading more about childbirth, breastfeeding, etc. Is she taking any birth classes? Can she help out her midwife in some way? What life skills is she lacking? She's going to be a young mom so now's the time to do some things she will have a tougher time accomplishing once the baby is here...no time to waste!

 

 

I didn't start college until 21 and I wasn't a mom until 30. There is plenty out there to do. I worked 2 jobs and had 3 volunteer gigs at 18: the hospital, museum, and a my old elementary school.

 

Do you have any friends who need help over the summer or can teach her anything? Any unpaid internships? Can she do at home clerical work or resume stuff for anyone? What are her skills? I think teens forget that it isn't about what you like it's about learning something new and challenging yourself.

 

Hope she gets excited about something, you sound like a great mom!