Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 i am a girl scout leader. have been for 6 years . I need to tell the parents in my troop that I will not be continuing as their daughters leader in the fall. the thing is, I will be a leader in another town. My daughter has asked to switch troops. Since homeschooling, she doesn't have that much in common with the other girls in the troop. although homeschooling isn't the only reason, to her, it feels like the main reason. The girls constantly talk about what is going on in school; starting with the boy-thing; all have cell phones/texting. I am also just tired of the girls disrespect. the parents have no sense of deadlines. i am tired. This other troop will allow both my daughters in the same troop. it is more of a co-op of former leaders. I will be continuing holding other girl scout positions in this town, so I will be around. I tend to be too honest in my dealings and don't want to hurt any feelings about why we are leaving. Is there a way that I could say i'm not doing this anymore with your daughters and my daughter and i are going to another troop? thanks in advance. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would honestly say that this is more convenient for you since both of your daughters can be in the same troop. Did I read the ages of your girls correctly? Boys and cell phones? It starts early! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcurry Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 You could tell them that you are moving because you need both of your daughters to be in the same troop. I probably wouldn't elaborate any more than that, but you do need to let them know you'll still be leading a troop and that you will be around. Do they have someone new already to take over for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would honestly say that this is more convenient for you since both of your daughters can be in the same troop. Did I read the ages of your girls correctly? Boys and cell phones? It starts early! yup. the troop is just finishing up 5th grade. cell phones have been an issue all year. the boy thing I just starting hearing this weekend at our campout. robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 You could tell them that you are moving because you need both of your daughters to be in the same troop. I probably wouldn't elaborate any more than that, but you do need to let them know you'll still be leading a troop and that you will be around. Do they have someone new already to take over for you? nope. its been me and only me for the 6 years. I have random parents who stay for meetings but no real help with the troop 'stuff' robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think I would just say that you are making a change because the other troop better fits your family's needs. Make it a point to say two or three things you have enjoyed about this troop, and that you will be seeing them in council-wide/neighborhood-wide events. (If, of course, that is true.) You do not owe an in-depth explanation. Keep it short, sweet, and true; you'll sleep better at night knowing you were both honest and tactful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 You do not owe an in-depth explanation. Keep it short, sweet, and true; you'll sleep better at night knowing you were both honest and tactful. that's my goal! robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think I would just say that you are making a change because the other troop better fits your family's needs. Make it a point to say two or three things you have enjoyed about this troop, and that you will be seeing them in council-wide/neighborhood-wide events. (If, of course, that is true.) You do not owe an in-depth explanation. Keep it short, sweet, and true; you'll sleep better at night knowing you were both honest and tactful. :iagree: with this approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Send out an email or a snail mail note say something like: Dear Parents, As much as I've enjoyed leading your girls in Scouts, for personal reasons I can no longer continue to do so. New troop information can be found at the GSA website. Sincerely, Just leave it at "personal reasons." It really isn't anyone's business why you are no longer being a troop leader. Practice "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable discussing it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Send out an email or a snail mail note say something like: Just leave it at "personal reasons." It really isn't anyone's business why you are no longer being a troop leader. Practice "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable discussing it." that's.just.wonderful. i must practice that. robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Send out an email or a snail mail note say something like: Just leave it at "personal reasons." It really isn't anyone's business why you are no longer being a troop leader. Practice "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable discussing it." I think that "I'm not comfortable discussing it" might be heard as representing more of a problem with the old troop than there really was. I would hear that and think there had been some serious problem (abuse, financial or something else major) rather than just a shift to a different troop for family reasons. I would just keep it at "personal reasons" with maybe an amplifying "this works better for us". Then use bean dip and shift the topic away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springmama Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Could you say that you are stepping down as a single troop leader due to family reasons, but that you want to stay in scouts so you've accepted a less demanding co leader position with another troop? Will another parent step up to take your place and keep the current troop intact? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I'd go with logistical reasons rather than personal reasons. It has the advantage of being true, easily understood by other busy parents and making clear that there is no juicy gossip here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 You could say something like: "My daughters are moving to a dfferent troop they can join together. Our family won't have the time to continue with more than one troop so I am retiring as the leader of this troop. Please contact me about leadership training if you'd like to take over as troop leader. I'd be happy to help you get started." Then wait for your phone NOT to ring. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonersl Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 You could say something like: "My daughters are moving to a dfferent troop they can join together. Our family won't have the time to continue with more than one troop so I am retiring as the leader of this troop. Please contact me about leadership training if you'd like to take over as troop leader. I'd be happy to help you get started." :iagree: I would put this out there sooner, rather than later so that the troop you are leaving has a chance to find a replacement leader in time for the coming school year (if they choose to continue on). Good lucK! Shannon in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Could you say that you are stepping down as a single troop leader due to family reasons, but that you want to stay in scouts so you've accepted a less demanding co leader position with another troop? Will another parent step up to take your place and keep the current troop intact? I like this. True and not hurtful to the moms. Also, it puts the responsibility of keeping the troop together on them...and who knows, there is usually a mom who would love the opportunity to lead a troop. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Be prepared with an answer for when you are asked, "Can we join the other troop too?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.J. at J.A. Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Be prepared with an answer for when you are asked, "Can we join the other troop too?" That's what first came to my mind. Blessings, Angela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 You could say something like: "My daughters are moving to a dfferent troop they can join together. Our family won't have the time to continue with more than one troop so I am retiring as the leader of this troop. QUOTE] :iagree: I can understand wanting your girls together. Saves time and energy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think that "I'm not comfortable discussing it" might be heard as representing more of a problem with the old troop than there really was. I would hear that and think there had been some serious problem (abuse, financial or something else major) rather than just a shift to a different troop for family reasons. I would just keep it at "personal reasons" with maybe an amplifying "this works better for us". Then use bean dip and shift the topic away. Really? People must think I'm fairly abusive or financially inept or whatever then because I use that or some variation in place of pass the bean dip. Usually I'm cornered in places like the market or church where there is no bean dip to pass. Things like "I'm sorry I'd rather not discuss it." or "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable discussing my personal reasons." or "I'm sorry it isn't open for discussion" or any variation thereof does not necessarily mean something bad is going on. I suppose in our open and casual world a person who prefers to keep family discussions or issues within the family is seen as weird or deceitful. Personally I think it would do a lot of people good to be a bit circumspect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think I would just say that you are making a change because the other troop better fits your family's needs. Make it a point to say two or three things you have enjoyed about this troop, and that you will be seeing them in council-wide/neighborhood-wide events. (If, of course, that is true.) You do not owe an in-depth explanation. Keep it short, sweet, and true; you'll sleep better at night knowing you were both honest and tactful. This is pretty much what I thought, too. In that situation, I'd just say that I had enjoyed my time with their children but my daughters are moving to a different troop that we think will be a better fit. I'd say I was sure we'd see them all around at other scouting events and wish them the best of luck with the troop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think that "I'm not comfortable discussing it" might be heard as representing more of a problem with the old troop than there really was. I would hear that and think there had been some serious problem (abuse, financial or something else major) rather than just a shift to a different troop for family reasons. I would just keep it at "personal reasons" with maybe an amplifying "this works better for us". Then use bean dip and shift the topic away. I agree. It will say to many people, "There's a big story here, keep asking again to get juicy details." ;) I would stick with the fact that it works better for your family's schedule and needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Well, but if you say that it's so that you can keep both girls together in the same troop, that really opens a couple of discussions that you probably won't enjoy. One would probably be, "We will do that, too, so that you will stay" and the other is "You should really let your girls lead their separate lives." Another question for you, though--are you sure that your girls won't regret leaving these kids? It sounds like you have just started homeschooling, and if so, that's not a great time to switch all your extra-curricular activities, too. Some continuity is a good thing, and your girls might really miss their friends, despite their annoyances with some of the topics of general conversation. "The grass is always greener" could prove true here. If I were doing this, I would check out that possibility very thoroughly before making such a big move. And maybe you already have! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Well, but if you say that it's so that you can keep both girls together in the same troop, that really opens a couple of discussions that you probably won't enjoy. One would probably be, "We will do that, too, so that you will stay" and the other is "You should really let your girls lead their separate lives." Another question for you, though--are you sure that your girls won't regret leaving these kids? It sounds like you have just started homeschooling, and if so, that's not a great time to switch all your extra-curricular activities, too. Some continuity is a good thing, and your girls might really miss their friends, despite their annoyances with some of the topics of general conversation. "The grass is always greener" could prove true here. If I were doing this, I would check out that possibility very thoroughly before making such a big move. And maybe you already have! too many awesome posts to quote each one, so I'll pick this last one. I had already decided to switch my younger daughter. long story short - her troop doesn't do anything and it was making me crazy. we do tons on our own through scouting and the other girls/leaders saw the badges we worked on at home and it was just wierd. my older one asked me to switch her. when I asked why, she said she really had nothing in common with these girls anymore. they have grown up over the last 6 years, and are at different places (even before homeschooling). I have seen it but was waiting for her to come to me. She came to me after an hour car ride when (according to my daugher) all te girls talked about was school; the new kids, they hate school, who got their phone taken away at school (my daughter doesn't have one) and sat and texted. without going into too much detail about the new troop, it will be a better fit. This is scouts and my daughters want to do scouts with other girls who want to do scouts. Higher awards, badges, mentoring younger scouts are all things my duaghter wants out of her scouting experience. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think I would just say that you are making a change because the other troop better fits your family's needs. Make it a point to say two or three things you have enjoyed about this troop, and that you will be seeing them in council-wide/neighborhood-wide events. (If, of course, that is true.) You do not owe an in-depth explanation. Keep it short, sweet, and true; you'll sleep better at night knowing you were both honest and tactful. well said! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 The change sounds great for your family. I like the short and sweet emails that were posted. I do wonder if you'll get some girls coming to join you. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 The explanation that is most easily accepted around here is that you can no longer handle the time commitment of being the sole leader and, therefore, are moving to a troop where you can be a co-leader (and not the primary one.) When they say they will help if only you'll stay, point out that it has been 6 years and no help, that it has been difficult to even get the required 2nd adult and you have no reasonable expectation that that will change. The first person to claim they will help gets to be the new leader! :D I expect the troop to fold. If someone were patiently waiting for you to leave so she could take over, she would have stepped up long ago. I would not volunteer to train a new troop leader. Certainly don't volunteer to help find a new leader. GS has way too much training available/required and she doesn't need hand-holding from you. (That has too much potential for her to be a leader in name only and you still shouldering the heavy work. Don't go there.) The "best fit for our family" and "both girls together" could both open a can of worms (and negotiations to keep you.) Definitely expect a few other girls to come too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would say something like: I am stepping down as leader of the troop. Due to logistics, my girls have both joined another troop that will take both of them and I have accepted a supporting role in their new troop. If any of you are interested in taking over as leader of this troop, contact the Girl Scout office at xxx-xxxx (or whatever contact information that is NOT your own number or email). I would put something in about logistics because otherwise the parents are likely to start badgering you. Be prepared with something to say when they ask if their girls can join the troop you are in, because I guarantee you they will ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think I would just say that you are making a change because the other troop better fits your family's needs. Make it a point to say two or three things you have enjoyed about this troop, and that you will be seeing them in council-wide/neighborhood-wide events. (If, of course, that is true.) You do not owe an in-depth explanation. Keep it short, sweet, and true; you'll sleep better at night knowing you were both honest and tactful. :iagree: This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Dear Parents, As much as I've enjoyed leading your girls in Scouts, for personal reasons I can no longer continue to do so. New troop information can be found by contacting Deb XXX at xxx@yahoo.com. I think this is what I am going with. There really is no need to tell them I am moving to another troop. that's personal. it would be in a separate town, so the only time we might see each other is during cookie time. For various reasons, these girls will not be able to follow us to the new troop. Thanks for all the advice. I want to be honest, but not too honest. if they want to think homeschooling is the 'personal reason', so be it. if they want to think their child's behavior is the 'personal reason', so be it. I think the main reason is my daughter is not happy spending time doing scout activities with these girls. We have already been spending time with the new troop, and I see it as a much better fit. obviously, not perfect. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 nope. its been me and only me for the 6 years. I have random parents who stay for meetings but no real help with the troop 'stuff'robin !!!! Here, I was a co-leader for a year since the main mom doing the troop was not allowed to be alone with the girls for meetings....there always had to be two adults present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Really? People must think I'm fairly abusive or financially inept or whatever then because I use that or some variation in place of pass the bean dip. Usually I'm cornered in places like the market or church where there is no bean dip to pass. Things like "I'm sorry I'd rather not discuss it." or "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable discussing my personal reasons." or "I'm sorry it isn't open for discussion" or any variation thereof does not necessarily mean something bad is going on. I suppose in our open and casual world a person who prefers to keep family discussions or issues within the family is seen as weird or deceitful. Personally I think it would do a lot of people good to be a bit circumspect. Oh, I wasn't suggesting that it had to be discussed. And I do like "I'm not comfortable discussing my personal reasons" and "It isn't open for discussion" because those (to my ears) say that the decision is made and it's not a conversation item. It's probably my military time and time as a military family member on a small overseas base. When I hear "I'm not comfortable discussing it" it sounds a lot like "I can't discuss it" which in my messed up little world means that there is an investigation going on for something. But this probably is my hang up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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