Not winning the Mother of the Year Award today.

[Rivka]

My father-in-law is dying. My husband left unexpectedly for Memphis on Friday - like, we bought his ticket Thursday night for Friday travel - and it's incredibly stressful for me to not be with him when he needs me. The kids are freaked out because Daddy is gone. I'm tied up in knots with the waiting and uncertainty and grieving. I don't know how I'm going to explain death to a two-year-old or get my sensitive six-year-old through a full-bore Southern Baptist open-casket visitation and funeral, all while remaining available to provide emotional support to my poor husband who has no siblings or mother to go through this with him.

 

I'm supposed to give a talk to my department at work on Thursday. I'm supposed to travel out of state to give a conference presentation in three weeks. I have no idea if I will be able to do either one of these things.

 

My two-year-old woke up this morning soaked with diarrhea and had another episode when he was in the tub getting cleaned up and then a few more later on. His bottom is so sore it looks like raw hamburger, and he screams in agony when I change his diaper. He's refusing to drink as much as he needs to for rehydration.

 

My six-year-old started playing dumb during math, so I put the math book away and gave her a page of very simple mixed addition and subtraction within 10. I came back downstairs to discover that she'd changed all the minus signs to plus signs, so I made her do the page and then an additional page of subtraction. I know, she's only six and the family is disrupted and I shouldn't have pushed it. I am just on my last freaking nerve.

 

Now she's having a fit because I told her we weren't going to do any more Ancient Greece stuff today because I don't have the energy after the math drama. She decided to come pick a fight with me about it while I was in the middle of trying to soothe the hysterical two-year-old through a painful diaper change. Literally in the middle.

 

My husband is coming home today, but it's not like I can turn the kids over to him and take a break because, you know, look what he's been doing since Friday and what he still has to face.

 

I need a vacation. And a fairy godmother. And my kids need a nice, patient mom, which is just as implausible for them as the fairy godmother is for me.

[blakereese]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug: hope things get better for you.. and especially that your little one recovers quickly.

[Mommy22alyns]

Yikes! :grouphug::grouphug:

[justamouse]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

We just went though this ourselves (without me having to fly out for obligations). And I remember those days of baby diarrhea and then having the clean the tub and crying when you had to change them.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Throw a sheet over DD and tell her it's a toga. Go forth and be Greecian. Tell her she's the chorus and she has to make up lines of woe and wonder, she can put on her play after dinner. Slather something thick and soothing on the baby's butt (clean him up with a spray bottle filled with tepid water, like a bidet) and go sit down with something you enjoy drinking.

 

And, most of all, you have my deepest condolences.

[FaithManor]

:grouphug: Rivka, I am soooo sorry.

 

You may not think you are doing great, but you are probably doing a lot better than you give yourself credit for.

 

I know what you mean about those long, open casket funerals with all of the visitation. I don't like them one bit and my kids were traumatized when they were young because my parents, while I was in the restroom and my boys were quietly sitting in the back of the church, decided that my "attitude" about open casket was unthinkable and hauled my 3, 5, and 6 year olds up to their great-grandmother's casket and told them to take a good long look at her. Normally I get along great with my folks and they don't override my parental wishes. So, I just tried to chalk it up to crazy, grieving people not thinking. But, from experience, I can say that it's important to keep your kids close. Your dh will understand. I sure have empathy for you.

 

Many hugs,

Faith

[Jan in SC]

:grouphug: Try liquid Mylanta on the bottom sores. After it dries, cover it with a thick layer or aquaphor. I hope things calm down soon, and I'm really sorry about your fil.

[kchara]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Impish]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Calmoseptine, ask your pharmacist. Amazing stuff. If you can't get it, mix calomine lotion with zinc cream, same idea. Best thing I've ever found for horrible diaper rash. Princess would get raw and bleed every time she teethed, and this would literally make a visable difference from one diaper change to the next.

[MrsBasil]

:grouphug: I'm so very sorry.

 

You might not think you're doing great, but you are.

 

 

Your DD is 6? Here's a link to a website for kids about Ancient Greek mythology. Links to audio stories, starfall re-tellings, games, a family tree, and so on. Maybe it will keep her busy while the little guy naps and you can just sit.

http://greece.mrdonn.org/myths.html

 

:grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

Rivka I'm so sorry you're all going through this. :grouphug:

 

I'm praying for you and your family. :grouphug::grouphug:

[bookfiend]

I'm so sorry. Are you able to hire/ask someone to come be with your children for three hours tonight while you an your husband go sit in a park and talk?

[fairfarmhand]

I don't know how I'm going to explain death to a two-year-old or get my sensitive six-year-old through a full-bore Southern Baptist open-casket visitation and funeral, all while remaining available to provide emotional support to my poor husband who has no siblings or mother to go through this with him.

 

I

 

 

.

 

 

first...:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

and second....don't try this. My mother died in January. Dh took the kids for both visitations. They came by for 30 minutes at the evening one and came right before the funeral for the afternoon one. I was ok. I managed. But it would have been 1000 times worse to have had my kids there with me.

 

Find a sitter or something...but please don't try it.

[Aubrey]

Um...that sounds like Mother of the Year Award in my book.

 

:grouphug:

 

I'll tell ya what helps me (a little), & you can take it for what it's worth. Make a list. Things you have to do for work, things you'd like to do for dh & the kids, things for just you, laundry, dishes whatever. Make it go through the thing you have to do at work on Thurs, but not the traveling--you can't think that far out right now.

 

Now put it in order of what has to happen when, what's most important, etc. You may realize, for ex, that holding your kids in your lap while they watch a movie & you close your eyes might give you both a little reprieve. Or take a bath & eat chocolate while they watch a movie (Greek one if poss, for dd) & then read them a story or something. Check two things off your list.

 

Will your dh need time alone when he gets home? Or someone to listen, a good movie to get his mind off things, good food? Pick *one* thing to do for him, & then move on to something else on the list.

 

The idea is that it isn't ALL hanging over your head the whole time. You can worry about work when you get to #6, but not before & not after. Obviously you'll be interrupted by diapers, but maybe gatorade & a special blanket will alleviate some of the guilt over not constantly holding 2yo while you accomplish #2--even if that's hiding in the closet w/ chocolate.

 

The diarrhea would be the thing that sent me over the edge. It limits everything else. Poor baby. Poor mama.

 

But school--math games. On the computer, so math makes you & dd both smile this week. No torture for either of you. :grouphug:

[Garga]

Rivka, so sad to hear of your troubles! What a mess!

[elfgivas]

re grieving for little kids:

 

try

"the fall of freddie the leaf" .... either the book version or the dvd or both.

 

:grouphug:

ann

[Chocolate Lover]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

So sorry for your impending loss. I love kids and am sensitive to their feelings and understanding of life. However, since my father died when I was 8, and my mgm and pgf both died when I was 14, I have a different perspective than most. I do think it is important for children to experience their feelings about grandfather dying. It shouldn't be hidden. Having said that, I am not a Southern Baptist and don't know the particular intensity of that service. It is our nature as mothers to want to protect our children from pain, but that isn't always possible or even the best thing. Sometimes pain does make us stronger. I became the matriarch of my family line at 37 when my mother died - incredibly painful, but I came through it eventually. You will make it!

[G5052]

We've lost three of our four parents now, and we'll probably lose the fourth sometime this year.

 

These events never seem to happen at an "easy" time and the emotional firestorm is almost a given. Weddings and funerals are perpetually on people's list of hard events. One parent died within hours of our return home after we had been assured that they were recovering, one died many states away during a snow storm that closed airports and train stations in our area for days, and we got the call that the third died three hours before I absolutely had to be at work. And all three were very difficult situations with a lot of turmoil for weeks afterwards amid health problems in our immediate family.

 

And we survived. One thing at a time, and don't expect everything to be neat and tidy. Just hang on and take it as it comes :grouphug:.

[kalanamak]

 

Now she's having a fit because I told her we weren't going to do any more Ancient Greece stuff today because I don't have the energy after the math drama.

 

:grouphug: I hope she can be encouraged to get out books and look at them when she wants to look at a certain topic.

 

 

Mother of the Year will come back. She's just gone out back for a bit.

[Spy Car]

:grouphug:

 

Bill

[JudoMom]

:grouphug:

[junepep]

Rivka,

I am so sorry about your father-in-law. You are doing fine. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone snaps to some extent during times of emotional crisis.

 

1. I'm seconding the suggestion of Aquaphor and the zinc lotion. It will remove the diaper rash and alleviate the pain.

 

2. Offer fluids every 1/2 hour. With a child that young even a tblsp every half hour is enough. I only know this because my pediatrician told me, Mab has feeding issues. She wound up in the hospital during my stay up at my grandmother's funeral last year for dehydration *head desk*.

 

3. Don't worry about being patient. You will not irrevocably shatter your children's trust in you by not being able to meet everyone's needs at this time. Do what you can, as you can, and don't destroy yourself trying to be everything to everyone.

 

4. This sounds callous, but arrive in time for the service and lead your children away from it as soon as the funeral is over to speak to the mourners and quietly slip out as soon as possible. Unless they ask, don't mention the casket. Funerals are for us all to grieve together, the service will be nice, no child could handle more time than that at such an event and hopefully your husband's family will understand. If you can find someone to take them for a few hours before and after the service (a distant relative or friend of the family) that would be ideal, but with it being so far away that might make it more stressful for you and your husband rather than less :/

 

5. I don't know where you are in ancient greeks, but here are some links and some material that you might be able to occupy your daughter with the following - many of them can be done by a child who is only 'ok' at reading -- I have more if you need them, they're just not all in an easily accessible file yet:

 

Aesop’s Fables - http://www.aesopfables.com/ (this site has numerous fables attributed to Aesop and others, use if your child happens to develop a love for the short tales (they were considered by John Locke to be the best stories for a young student to use to read) or if you don’t happen to have a copy of Aesop’s fables at home.

 

King Midas - History\Year 1 - 5000 to 500\Greek Myths\The_midas_touch.mp3 – The fictional story of King Mita (c800bc) from Storynory.

 

Create Ancient Greek buildings with Keva Blocks or Legos

 

Theseus: Lord of Athens – Choose Your Own Adventure (Online) - http://www.mythologyteacher.com/Theseusintro.html - This will need to be read aloud to younger students

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/acropolis/home_set.html - The Acropolis section at this site can be done very quickly before actually heading over to watch the Acropolis and Parthenon short videos – the build your own temple challenge might be particularly fun for younger students – I would save visiting the Parthenon site for another day unless you child is particularly fascinated with ancient art or architecture.

World Ceramics: Greece (c500BC) - http://www.artsmia.org/world-ceramics/hydria/key_ideas.html - Follow the Key Ideas pathing at the bottom of the page for interesting information about this piece!

 

The Artist’s Hand - http://thewalters.org/pachydermpubs/00-64-881120031647100113-9310870-6-106-1129824/ - Figure out the difference between vases to see which ones were created in the same artistic style, more suitable for 5th, but younger children may enjoy it. Social Studies > Attic Red-figure Amphora

 

Create your own Greek Pot - http://www.schoolsliaison.org.uk/kids/greecepot.htm

 

Origins and Movements of Greek Intellectuals – 800BC-323BC http://mappinghistory.uoregon.edu/english/EU/EU15-02.html and Travel of selected individuals – These are very quick simply for children to see the volume of Intellectual thought happening around Greece and the movements of those intellectuals. Origin of Winning Olympic Competitors 776BC through 396AD - http://mappinghistory.uoregon.edu/english/EU/EU13-10.html - A quick run through, but a nice way of illustrating how much interaction was going on between the different countries.

 

The Greeks - Crucible of Civilization http://www.pbs.org/empires/thegreeks/htmlver/ - The site is old, and uses flash 4, which occasionally isn't recognized by newer flash versions, however it's worth the trouble. The Acropolis experience, The Greeks interactive, and the 5 videos sets about individual Greeks are helpful. The Socrates video uses Plato’s account heavily - make certain that you mention that oral accounts depend on the point of view of the raconteur.

 

Make statues out of a bar of soap (please note: The classical sculpture period dates from about 500bc, therefore this activity would fit well in either this section or the next).

 

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/dailylife/home_set.html - Story: I would choose Athens & Sparta Girls and Athens & Sparta Boys as the comparison pairs. A good narration topic might be: Which would you rather be and why between each of the two pairs. Note: The pairs do not age equally and some end in the middle of the person’s life. Explore: covered as a lapbook. Challenge: Set the scene is engaging;

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/sparta/home_set.html Story: Why did Sparta change? Explore: is a desk with objects relating to different areas of Spartan life. It is better suited for 5th graders but seeing the objects might still be interesting for 1st grade if there is time. Challenge: is fun but will probably be difficult for the younger children to complete by themselves.

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/war/home_set.html Story: The Battle of Thermopylae. Explore: does not seem to be working. Challenge: Salamis sea battle easy enough for any child to do and a bit of fun entertainment

 

Orpheus - History\Year 1 - 5000 to 500\Greek Myths\Orpheus.mp3 - The storynory version of the tale of Orpheus, it’s in verse. Richard isn’t as much fun to listen to, but this might be a fun project for a video, set to music or something. The verse can be found here: http://storynory.com/2010/02/22/orpheus/

 

Ancient Rituals - http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/gods/story/sto_set.html - an ancient ritual animal sacrifice as illustrated on Greek pottery.

 

Stories in the Sky - http://www.nmm.ac.uk/stories-of-the-skies/ - Mythological Legends for three Major Constellations

Ancient Arcade - http://www.nga.gov/education/classroom/interactive/arcade.htm - Match the mythological figures with their symbols. This may be better suited to 5th grade.

 

The Parthenon Online - http://www.parthenonfrieze.gr/#/home - play with the Parthenon frieze is interactive (younger children may need assistance since even easy modes are timed)

Edited May 4, 2011 by junepep

[junepep]

Continued part 2:

 

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/athens/home_set.html - Athens Section – (Timing: Socrates is mentioned) The story follows a group of people through their day. Ask your child to narrate their thoughts about the question: how are our days the same or different? What professions / activities are shown? Explore is absolutely worthwhile even though it may not seem like it at first. Don’t bother with the Challenge Section, it’s a great idea but the implementation is poor.

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/festivals/home_set.html - Story: Have the children act out each of the Olympic events as you read the descriptions. Explore: Greek Theatre, after doing this, it might be interesting to go here http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/primaryhistory/ancient_greeks/arts_and_theatre/ first and click through ‘The Greek Theatre 2,350 Years Ago’ activity both are very quick. Challenge: Skip.

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/geography/challenge/cha_set.html Challenge – Shipwreck!

http://www.ancientgreece.co.uk/knowledge/home_set.html Knowledge and learning – Story: Plato’s cave with a couple of animations, Explore: Lapbook covers this. Challenge: Ideas about the plague c430bc.

 

Stomachium – an ancient game played by Archimedes (probably to explore geometric relationships) http://www.math.nyu.edu/~crorres/Archimedes/Stomachion/construction.html - to make your own follow these simple instructions. The game plays like Tangrams where you must form different objects.

 

Interactive timeline of the Middle East - http://ecuip.lib.uchicago.edu/diglib/social/mideast/atlas/index.html - Good for getting a broad overview of the area through the ages, Explore 5000 years of History > Greco-Roman Influence > 323-66bc

 

 

MOVIES / YOU TUBE (I hope you have netflix - 14 day free trial if you don't ;) it might just save your sanity atm)

 

The Muppets – King Midas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1hrUPVI4Os

Aesop’s Fables -

- there are a TON of other Aesop tales on YouTube. Of note, the Crow and the Pitcher is also given to be an Indian Fable. It is unclear which attribution might be correct.

Ancient Olympia 3D Tour -

Lovely, colorful, low res (but still worth it)

Parthenon

- A really nice reconstruction using the remains of actual frescos. It follows the Parthenon’s construction and deconstruction.

Secrets of the Parthenon: Nova - http://movies.netflix.com/Movie/Secrets_of_the_Parthenon_Nova/70098065?trkid=2001778 - A 2008 Nova special about the 100$ restoration of the Parthenon. Supposedly very entertaining.

 

Akropolis von Pergamon -

- Not the absolute best reconstruction that I've ever seen, but I love it all the same (Grecian Empire)

Pubuç Burnu Wreck -

– A c600BC wreck, the videos are uploaded in the wrong order, use this link to get to Video “2†and proceed to video “1â€. A great view of what Nautical Archeologists do and how they manage to do it.

 

Athens the Dawn of Democracy - http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Athens_The_Dawn_of_Democracy/70085591?trkid=2361637 - This 2007 documentary is very long. Only bits and pieces will probably be able to be used.

 

Hoplite Reenactors - http://www.koryvantes.org/koryvantes/activities_en.jsp - This site has a ton of interesting photos, all dealing with various elements of hoplite life.

 

Winged Sandals - http://www.abc.net.au/arts/wingedsandals/storytime/ - The videos available are: Apollo and his Oracle (related content – Ask the oracle); Demeter and Persephone; Orpheus and the Underworld (use the bonus track with hades explanation); and Perseus and Medusa (which could easily go under chapter 19).

Jim Henson's the Storyteller - Greek Myths - http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Jim_Henson_s_the_Storyteller_Greek_Myths/70003015?trkid=2361637 - 1991

 

 

Philosophy of Greece - http://www.youtube.com/user/PhilosophicalMedia#p/u/48/8wnWUEVhriI (a bit dull, but it might be because there wasn’t anything new in it) -- Follow-ups to this: Socrates – Encyclopedia Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/PhilosophicalMedia#p/u/16/eY0ZoHqdMgw (5th grade or below brief shows of artistic nudity); Plato – Encyclopedia Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/PhilosophicalMedia#p/u/15/1aWK_69ufbo

See an ancient water clock or clepsydras made with modern tools: http://www.history.com/shows/ancient-discoveries/videos/ancient-hobbyist-water-clock - There is a commercial at the beginning.

 

Greece - Donald in Mathmagic Land - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACtjN4CSN50

[junepep]

Continued Part 3:

Who is Alexander: http://www.artic.edu/cleo/alex/alexmovie.html - nice little video, very easy to understand - with maps of the regions that he conquered.

Alexander the Great – Encyclopedia Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/mityok1#p/u/6/MQfBinQwPGs

 

Alexander the Great: The man behind the myth - http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/National_Geographic_Beyond_the_Movie_Alexander_the_Great/70012719?trkid=2361638

 

Mini-movies on Greece - http://www.artic.edu/cleo/alex/alexmovie.html (coins and Alexander). http://www.artic.edu/cleo/stele/steleMovie.html - Stele’s and funeral practices of Ancient Greeks. Mythological beings (highlighting Gryphons) http://www.artic.edu/cleo/griffin/griffinMovie.html; http://www.artic.edu/cleo/amphora/amphoraMovie.html Amphorae and Symposia; http://www.artic.edu/cleo/chicago/chicagoMovie.html Women in Ancient Greece and Dionysus – some of these movies could be moved to other locations, and perhaps should be.

 

 

*hug*

 

It will get better. Just focus on one day at a time. It's all that anyone can do.

(sorry about the messed up font sizes, I have no idea what happened :/)

[JennyD]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry about your FIL, Rivka.

 

My almost-6yo likes to change the operators in his math equations, too.. Drives me batty.

 

Hang in there. Thinking of you all.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Rivka]

Thank you, everyone. The toddler getting sick really was the last straw, because it made him so miserable and kept us from leaving the house.

 

When the 6yo threw a fit about wanting more Greece, I reminded her that we have books at her reading level and that she could keep working on a project we had started. She got all disappointed and said that what she really wanted was a new project organized by me. Self-education was not going to cut it.

 

But she seems to realize that I am hanging by a thread, because this evening she repeatedly told me what an awesome mother I am and how she would never want anyone else for a mother. Hmm. That kind of thing always makes me feel like she's protesting too much. But I snuggled up with her at bedtime and read her a chapter of The Lightning Thief and told her that I love her even when I'm stressed out and mad. We agreed that we would try really hard to have a better day tomorrow.

 

...And we will, thanks to Junepep! Thank you so much for those resources. Doing online games will be a special treat, and some of the links tie in perfectly to things we've been learning about (like Athens vs. Sparta) and things I have planned for us soon.

 

It's good to have my husband home, but not as much a relief as it has been other times because the weight of what's to come is so awful.

 

Thanks again for the hugs and support.

[Liz CA]

:grouphug: Try liquid Mylanta on the bottom sores. After it dries, cover it with a thick layer or aquaphor. I hope things calm down soon, and I'm really sorry about your fil.

 

There was also something else I used when my ds was that age. I cannot remember the name, came in a little tub, light brownish looking and had something with "Zinc" in the name. Worked wonders on those poor bottoms. Maybe someone here, can come up with the name.

[iona]

:grouphug:

[Occasionally]

Thank you, everyone. The toddler getting sick really was the last straw, because it made him so miserable and kept us from leaving the house.

 

When the 6yo threw a fit about wanting more Greece, I reminded her that we have books at her reading level and that she could keep working on a project we had started. She got all disappointed and said that what she really wanted was a new project organized by me. Self-education was not going to cut it.

 

But she seems to realize that I am hanging by a thread, because this evening she repeatedly told me what an awesome mother I am and how she would never want anyone else for a mother. Hmm. That kind of thing always makes me feel like she's protesting too much. But I snuggled up with her at bedtime and read her a chapter of The Lightning Thief and told her that I love her even when I'm stressed out and mad. We agreed that we would try really hard to have a better day tomorrow.

 

...And we will, thanks to Junepep! Thank you so much for those resources. Doing online games will be a special treat, and some of the links tie in perfectly to things we've been learning about (like Athens vs. Sparta) and things I have planned for us soon.

 

It's good to have my husband home, but not as much a relief as it has been other times because the weight of what's to come is so awful.

 

Thanks again for the hugs and support.

 

:grouphug: Hope everything is looking better for you today.

[bookfiend]

I don't know how much interaction your children had with their Grandfather; however, a wonderful book is When Somebody Very Special Dies by Marge Heegaard. It is illustrated by your child from a series called Drawing out Feelings.

 

:grouphug: It's hard to be the spouse and the grief-stricken too.

[SonshineLearner]

I'm seriously sorry :( Hugs!!!

 

On the diaper part, it depends on why, right? But, Pure Aloe Vera Gel worked on little ones I used it on..

[Heatherwith4]

:grouphug: