If you've been homeschooling a while...

[abbeyej]

There was a recent thread about this focused on first grade, and here was my answer:

Very solid on the 3Rs. And lots and lots and lots of read-alouds, audio books, field trips, outside play, free time with access to art supplies and puzzles and simple, creative toys...

 

I wouldn't worry too much about *what* we covered in history -- whether it was ancient history or American or geography or community helpers... I would instead focus on reading lots, especially folktales, myths, legends, poetry, biographies, simple non-fiction, and whatever caught my or my child's interest.

 

First grade is a great time to start to explore chess or music, to do some early (fun) foreign language study...

 

But academically, my structured focus would be on reading, writing (the basic skills and mechanics of getting a technically correct sentence on the page), and arithmetic.

 

Read, sing, explore, and play for the rest of the time.

 

And the great part about home schooling in the early grades is that kids can have some much "rest of the time".

 

And here's another thread about over vs under planning in the early years, and my response there:

I'm all for solidly and consistently hitting the three Rs from a young age -- but I also think a lot of parents really over-think the content subjects for very young ones.

 

My advice would be to begin brief, regular lessons in the three Rs as soon as the child shows readiness. This doesn't have to be "hours a day", but I think that most kids are ready for 10-15 minutes of each subject each day from about age 5 (with a range of about 2 years either way depending on the individual child).

 

Other than reading, writing, and basic work with patterns and arithmetic, I think it's good to be very flexible with young ones (I'm thinking k-2 range). Lots of read-alouds from various genres, fairy tales and legends from around the world, picture book biographies and stories of famous historical incidents, books about "how things work" and the natural world, chapter books and children's classics... Field trips, building stuff, visiting museums, doing puzzles, playing games, climbing, and yes, digging in the dirt...

 

I don't think most parents do any *harm* when they over-analyze the science and history of the early years. Some of them burn out, but maybe that's coincidental anyway. ... But I think the great freedom to do what delights you and your children in the early years and to have lots of TIME -- time when kids can explore their world in an unstructured way -- is some of the great value of home schooling.

 

I do think it's nice to hit some of the highlights of world history between K and 4, but *how* one approaches that matters a lot less than it does in 5-8, when the chronology of events really sinks in. A child who adores history and science in the early years will be better prepared than a child who has gone systemically (according to anybody's system!) through the subjects but without a lot of joy and time to explore...

 

Having kids with really strong fundamental skills by the end of 2nd grade though? That's a HUGE advantage going into the next years...

 

ETA: Wanted to edit to say that I do *not* believe that systematic study automatically kills joy. Sometimes it works great. And sometimes it's just most convenient to have a younger child follow along with the same topics an older one is studying. But what I think is most important in the early years isn't systematic study of content subjects, but joy and exposure.

 

[newbie]

Start college counseling in ninth grade. Now we are btdt, I am on track for second, but the first dd had to suffer the last two years.

[Ritsumei]

Thank you all for this thread. I am happy to encouter this early in my homeschooling journey.

 

:iagree:I find it very interesting the number of people who wish for more structure and generally done more early on - balanced by not being too rigid & definitely getting outside - but not being afraid to do the early academics. Thanks to all!

[MeganW]

Such a helpful thread - thanks to all who responded!

[abrightmom]

 

I wish I hadn't let my face, voice, or manner betray disappointment when a child didn't grasp something that seemed obvious, or forgot something for the nth time, or otherwise performed poorly. I wish I had said "No problem, lots of people find this tricky. 'There's no royal road to learning!'" (which is what I say now, and it makes them laugh, and then everything is good). Aagh. If I had a time machine I would go slap my former self. A lot.

 

In general I wish I had been kinder, yelled less, not thought of their performance as a reflection on me me me, and enjoyed more of our life at home together.

Boy, does this resonate with me....I'm 3 years in and need to get this figured out pronto! :001_huh:

[Penny from Tenny]

Well, I guess I'm the oldie here (20 years), but as I've told others, I don't feel like I have this homeschooling thing down, but I do feel more comfortable in what I'm doing....for the most part. I am always learning new ideas from those who are still "fresh" in the journey and I try to be more open to how the Lord might redirect in what I have planned.

 

Years ago, before internet and the plethora of homeschool curriculum, life was a bit easier because there weren't so many choices. Now you have to struggle with not hopping on the latest new "product" just because everyone online says it is so wonderful! There are just SO many good products out there that it is possible to drive yourself crazy! :001_huh: If you know your child, know your style of homeschooling, it meets a need, then check it out. But, if the grass is always greener on the other side (what I term adult "peer pressure"), then perhaps you should just let it go because it will only be a source of confusion or discontent. Been there, done that.

 

My poor first child suffered through me trying to do public school at home...I don't suggest that...it was NOT fun. It took me a year or so to figure this out and we finally struck a happy medium. Not too structured, using literature based, chronological history, and trying to make it as enjoyable as possible. Greenleaf Press and Elijah Co. were invaluable to me at that time.

 

I began to read more of Ruth Beechick and this lady named Charlotte Mason and it changed my whole homeschool paradigm. That was a good thing.

 

With my 2nd generation of kids I have found a happy cross between classical and CM (thanks to TWTM). I expect much from my children, and while academics are important around here, they are not the primary goal.

 

Early on, I couldn't spend much on school, and oddly, now that I can I find myself going back to some of the same early, tried and true programs. I mean, do I really need all those bells and whistles to teach phonics?

 

I wish I had done more copywork, dictation, oral narration (ala WTM) with my now 7th grader, but fortunately he has weathered my mistakes and I can play catchup with my younger 2.

 

This is just my experience, but we never did co-ops or dual enrollment, and I don't regret it. We did a few outside "fun" classes for art, speech, etc. but we really try to keep our school hours uncluttered with outside stuff.

 

I wish we could have traveled more in relationship to our studies, but since it isn't possible with our family dynamic, I try not to think about the "if-only's". That whole contentment thing again.

 

Yep, that's about all I can think of right now. I've enjoyed everyone's posts!

[Penny from Tenny]

Ten years of homeschooling now.

 

I wish I'd quit earlier in each subject. Oldest dd caught on to things so fast, and would beg to do more, and so I (and dh, when he did lessons with her) would just keep going ... until she was tired, and started making mistakes, and ended up in tears. Every lesson ended in tears. Until I learned to stop while it was still fun.

 

I wish I hadn't let my face, voice, or manner betray disappointment when a child didn't grasp something that seemed obvious, or forgot something for the nth time, or otherwise performed poorly. I wish I had said "No problem, lots of people find this tricky. 'There's no royal road to learning!'" (which is what I say now, and it makes them laugh, and then everything is good). Aagh. If I had a time machine I would go slap my former self. A lot.

 

In general I wish I had been kinder, yelled less, not thought of their performance as a reflection on me me me, and enjoyed more of our life at home together.

 

 

:grouphug: Me thinks you are a very wise woman! This is the best post in the thread! Thanks for sharing.

[birchbark]

Great thread. Thank you all.

 

I wish I had done some of those fun preschool/K type things like the one from Wee Folk Art.

 

Woolybear, that link didn't work but I have another one here. Thank you for posting this! I LOVE the look of this curriculum! I am totally going to use these next year with my up-and-coming kindy. Waldorfy yet rich in learning, good books, poetry, crafts, recipes, even field trip ideas. All very simply and beautifully laid out with planning and record sheets included. And FREE?! All I need to add would be some math and Bible stories to make it a fabulous K curriculum for us.

 

If any of you want something Waldorf or CM for pre-K or K that is organized for you yet unstructured, take a look.

[TXMary2]

Academically, I wish I'd spent more time on grammar "busy work" with my now 14 yo ds. I am not making that mistake with my little guy.

 

Otherwise, I wouldn't change much. I have enjoyed all the family time.

[prairiewindmomma]

---

Edited November 10, 2021 by prairiewindmomma

[Barb_]

It's funny how most of those with oldest kids in the 8-11 range wish they'd have pushed harder in the early years while those with kids in high school or college wished they'd chilled out a little more. I wonder why?

[happyhomemaker25]

We are coming up on Five years here. I started with a 2nd grader and a K'er with three more coming up. I spent that first year doing EVERYTHING the WTM suggested at once. I did not ease into anything. To top it off I pulled my girls out at the end of the school year and thought I needed to repeat the grade they were in with them AND the next grade all in one year.

We burned out FAST! I started curriculum hopping. I am all for switching something if your kid is not getting it, but I switched all the time because someone else assured me that I needed a new curriculum or it was just shinier.

Because of that we have to use this next year to do remedial work for everyone.

What I should have done differently:

Deschooled over the summer. I pulled my kids out in May I wish we'd just taken the summer off to have fun.

Started out with Grammar and Math suggestions from the WTM and gradually picked up the other subjects.

Stuck with TWTM through it all.

Done school almost everyday. The last two years have been very inconsistent. I used whatever excuse I had to not do school. We are all suffering.

Stuck with Latin. We are picking it back up in the fall, but I wish we'd just stuck with it.

Followed TWTM suggestions for History and Science.

Gotten up earlier. It's amazing to look at the clock at 12:30 and see you are almost done for the day.

Done phonics every day with my 8 and 9yo.

Kept up Phonics with my 14yo.

Kept up with SWO. My kids are all horrible spellers. I wanted to just use words they commonly mispelled to do spelling instead of sticking with SWO. BIG MISTAKE for me. I never did that.

 

What I did right:

We have memorized a poem and passage of scripture every month.

We read aloud every day.

We don't have cable or sat. Though my kids do watch too much Netflix and grandma T.V.

Library trips once a week. We get two books from the picture book or fiction section per kid and then the rest have to come from the "learning" section.

 

This is a wonderful thread. Thanks!!

[Tsh]

Love this thread! It's so invaluable. Thanks for everyone's thoughts.

[sixtimemomma]

I have been hsing for 7 years and I wish I would have not used out of the box curriculum in the beginning. I wasted so much time and money trying to stay with Abeka for 2 years and beyond and then on to BJU, Calvert.

 

I wish I had trusted my instinct and purchased what I knew would work for my kids.

[Guest Sweet Georgia]

:lurk5:This is such a wonderful thread! Lots of sage advice! Thank you!

[Katiebug_1976]

1) Find what works for you & your dc & stick with it! I did too much curric. hopping with my kids and it put too much unneeded stress on my older ones. I didn't even know there were different hs methods (classical, CM, etc) until a year or two after we had started. We were just doing "school" at home! UGH! What a mess!!

 

2) I wish I would have spent more time just enjoying my kids for who they were/are! We now school when it works for us, but when life gets crazy we take a break! It took me 5+ years to get used to/be ok with this kind of flexibility. Break the "traditional school mind set" early on! Homeschooling is not the same as school at home!

 

3)I wish I would have put more of a focus on our family learning together instead of separating everyone with "their own work" and checking off the boxes as things were completed.

 

4) I definately wish we would have done more read aloud time! I've heard people say it before, READ! READ! READ! but it never really clicked how important it is to read to your children until my dd (now 8) began struggling with reading and started to not like books. I wish I would ahve read more to all my kids!

 

Just enjoy your kids while you have them! I learn more and more each day that time flies by way too fast! But think of the memories you all will have if you enjoyed each other during those years instead of stressing about what needed to get done, but didn't.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Katiebug_1976

[HootyTooty]

We have been at this for 5 years going on to our 6th. Although every year, I feel like this is still the first year. :lol:

 

1) I wish I felt more comfortable/confident when I made curriculum choices. Too often, I've let my hs make me feel like my choices were not "good enough"

2) I wish I had worn my blinders more when coming to hs boards. There is nothing like seeing what other people are doing and getting a case of "grass is greener" syndrome. With that said:

3) Bandwagons are not for everyone.

4) I wish I accepted gaps happen, instead of freaking out and retooling everything to cover those gaps, only to find that I solved the first problem but created new gaps. There is a right way to fill gaps and there (imo) is a wrong way.

[razorbackmama]

It's funny how most of those with oldest kids in the 8-11 range wish they'd have pushed harder in the early years while those with kids in high school or college wished they'd chilled out a little more. I wonder why?

Boy, that's not me!:lol: Mine is about to enter high school, and I DEFINITELY wish I would have pushed a smidge harder. I listened way too much to the "better late than early" sort of philosophy, and although we did "enough" in the younger years, my kids have grown up thinking school was optional and that being challenged is bad.:rolleyes:

[melissel]

It's funny how most of those with oldest kids in the 8-11 range wish they'd have pushed harder in the early years while those with kids in high school or college wished they'd chilled out a little more. I wonder why?

 

I'd bet that those of us with 8- to-11-year-olds are feeling the press of high school looming and fear we didn't set the foundational skills well, while those of us with high-school-aged kids (and older) saw how it all came out in the wash and that everything was fine!

[melissel]

...my kids have grown up thinking school was optional and that being challenged is bad.:rolleyes:

 

This is my biggest regret so far--that I let school be optional, and something that we can push back and push back for another day. I think I have a very tiny window of time in which I can still fix this, because my oldest is pretty compliant and likes a challenge, and my youngest is only 5. Now to get my own lazy butt on a good schedule!

[GailV]

Boy, that's not me!:lol: Mine is about to enter high school, and I DEFINITELY wish I would have pushed a smidge harder. I listened way too much to the "better late than early" sort of philosophy, and although we did "enough" in the younger years, my kids have grown up thinking school was optional and that being challenged is bad.:rolleyes:

:iagree: During the middle years I looked back and wished I would've relaxed more. Now that we're in high school I wish we'd pushed harder earlier.

 

And who knows how I'll feel when we hit college, let alone in 20 years. Each year brings new perspectives.

[SkateLeft]

10+ years of homeschooling here...

 

The only thing I really wish I'd done differently was stop listening to the curriculum/method fads, and just stick with what worked for us.

 

I've spent a stupid amount of money over the years on things that were popular with the larger homeschooling community, but just didn't fly for us.

[DianeJM]

I started hs'g with my oldest as a preschooler 1993. I made up all my own preschool stuff which was wonderful, I'm really glad I did it, and it worked out very well. It wasn't "school-ish" and it was fun; those are some of my most special memories.

 

I wish I would have worked harder teaching my kids to obey; that one "skill" relates to everything else. My kids don't have real good personal self-discipline as a result. How to feel like a failure.

 

Getting those basic skills down is another area I should have worked harder on, realizing later!

 

Would have worked more diligently on teaching them to write well and to love reading. Only 1 out of 4 loves to read.

 

The concept of the 4-year cycle is such a brilliant one; I wish I would have caught onto the wisdom of that earlier. It makes high school easier, because they've already had some exposure to the concepts, so not everything is new.

 

As a few others have said, following a hunch about a learning disability much earlier -- I should have done that.

 

Signed,

A Slow Learner

[johnandtinagilbert]

In general, I wish I would have understand that the fastest and quickly advanced is not necessarily the winner. I was in such a rush to prove the nay sayers wrong that I zoomed towards results and didn't spend enough time on foundations:

 

More phonics instruction instead of needing to read fast! It's so worth the extra time and effort. I wish I would have found PR for everyone. It would have saved so much trouble and so many gaps!

 

I wish I would have found RightStart and just enjoyed math more.

 

I wish I would have not been so history driven for the lower grammar years, and instead worked on those foundations.

 

I wish we would have done more CM style science and more hands on experiments.

 

I wish I would have spent my time learning ahead instead of reading novels.

 

I wish we would have thrown away the very first game system we were gifted.

 

More music and art classes.

 

Less time working for co-ops and more time working for my house.

 

More read alouds with books that are just plain fun!

 

Less house cleaning and more playtime.

[momee]

Been more gracious - filled with grace.

Giving grace.

Modeling grace.

Praying for wisdom to parent my childen with grace.

 

Oh the failures that loom before me in all our homeschooling years BUT! my kids are awesome young people. I have to think my efforts contributed to that.

So that's the other thing I would say.

GIVE myself grace:lol:

 

ps

just read through some of the previous posts, found this

"I wish I hadn't let my face, voice, or manner betray disappointment when a child didn't grasp something that seemed obvious, or forgot something for the nth time, or otherwise performed poorly. I wish I had said "No problem, lots of people find this tricky. 'There's no royal road to learning!'" (which is what I say now, and it makes them laugh, and then everything is good). Aagh. If I had a time machine I would go slap my former self. A lot."

 

see? grace

It's a common requirement for homeschool moms, lol.

Edited April 13, 2011 by momee

[Stratford]

What an informative and comforting thread for someone like me, who is just starting out. Thank you!

[Hunter]

I started homeschooling in the 90s. Things were so much more honest and less slick back then :-0 I often feel like a target now :-( Homeschooling has become such big business. I too have gone back to using many of older, less flashy, sometimes even out of print classics.

 

I wish I had concentrated on character more and academics less.

 

I wish I had read Ecclesiates at least once a year, and then planned out the year.

 

I wish I had saved up for SOW (Students of the Word) rather than spending bits here and there trying to reinvent the wheel.

 

I wish I had known about Spalding type spelling programs.

 

I wish I hadn't let people talk me into dropping American School with my "gifted" child, telling me he deserved more. "Gifted" and LD children do not deserve more than their parents are equipped to give them, and seldom do they deserve more than their siblings. Sometimes we create little monsters when we elevate the needs of a "special" family member.

 

American School's general high school program used for grades 8-10 is a fantastic bargain and teaches a child to steadily meet the strict but VERY reasonable expectations of a group of teachers. The accredited diploma opens many doors for lower income children, enabling them to enter a CC as a full college freshman at age 16, making them eligible for grants and scholarships and increasing their employability.

 

I wish I had stuck to Saxon and placed the boys lower and expected more speed and accuracy.

 

I wish I had stuck to just one classical/ancient language, instead of letting what the boys asked for, and what others were saying, sway me so much.

 

I wish I had read "Science Matters" earlier and not wasted one moment or one penny on high school science texts. The CC didn't require anything but good English and Math skills and scientific literacy that could have been gained by nothing more than a bunch of Bill Nye videos and library books and access to our encyclopedia collection.

 

Things I did right:

 

We collected all the encyclopedias and biographies we could get our hands on.

 

We used the KJV as our main reading book.

 

We spent 1 1/2 hours every morning reading the KJV Bible, singing psalms/hymns, reading about a country in Operation World and discussing current events. We also did a little catechism work, read biographies of Christians, covered some church history, and read some sermons.

 

Focused on skills, not content.

Edited April 14, 2011 by Hunter

[MerryAtHope]

I forgot to tell my answers LOL!

 

2) Now I know that I should have been intervening MUCH earlier when they just weren't getting reading, and we now have a lot of lost time to make up for.

 

This is somewhat true for me too. Although I kept trying different things, I wish I had been more knowledgeable early on to recognize things like learning disabilities. But the "Better late than early" philosophy was SOOO prevalent in things I read online that while I didn't just put reading aside, I also didn't realize that the struggles we had were more than a matter of time.

[momee]

What a goldmine in these few words

"A curriculum that gets done is superior to a superior curriculum that doesn't get done."

 

You go girl!!!!

[Halcyon]

:bigear: I have been hs-ing for 3 years and appreciate all the words of wisdom.

[Critterfixer]

Amen to all that was said here. I am in my second year and started with TWTM as my guide. I can truly appreciate now what it is like to have options. As a home-schooled child myself I know my mother did not have the options then that I have now, and I am grateful for that.

 

Before I read this thread I was struggling a little bit with my own attitude in the mornings, and this morning I was so grouchy over tea that I had a little slap-session with myself before sitting down to math. It made all the difference in the world! I surely agree with every post that speaks to Mommy's attitude and facial expressions. My children already know when to pull down the sails if Mommy looks stormy in the mornings, and I'm working hard on sunnier skies ahead.:001_smile:

 

This is a very encouraging thread, despite all of the "things to do differently."

[Colleen in SEVA]

:lurk5:

[CyndiLJ]

Being relatively new to homeschooling (1 3/4 years) it is amazing how much we ALL have already learned, including myself. I jumped in during the most stressful year of my life, bringing home my 5th grade son 2 weeks after school started while leaving my 1st and 4th grade sons still in public school. This was 3 months before we traveled to Kazakhstan for what turned out to be 2 1/2 months while adopting our 2 daughters, ages 11 and 10 who spoke no English :-) Yea, it was a wild ride. We came home, sons finished out the year in public school while I got my game on for the 3 at home and figured out how to settle the butterflies in my stomach as I tried to teach English and so much more to our daughters, and create a plan for having all 5 home. Whew! So glad I am past all of that!

 

Here is what I would do differently, and it will be interesting to see what I would add or change from this list 5 years from now.

 

1) Trust myself and homeschooled from the very beginning with all of the kids.

 

2) Would recognize that my way IS the right way, regardless of how others find success with other methods, programs, curriculum, etc. What works for one family will not necessarily work for another.

 

3) I would quite feeling as if we are not doing "enough", for we certainly are when I look back and it is FAR more than public school accomplished in a year.

 

4) I will not (and would not) allow myself to get caught up in the feelings of inferiority when reading others posts about how far ahead their children are, how classically they are being educated, how they are destined for college at 14. For as many families as there are out there for whom this is wonderfully true, there are as many just like us doing the best we can and being equally, wonderfully middle of the road. We have unusual deficits with 3 of our 5 kids, and the progress we are making is as extraordinary, even if measured on a different scale.

 

5) I would recognize earlier that there is NO pressure about college unless I place it firmly in our lives. We can escape the SAT/ACT, acceptance fiasco if we allow ourselves to, by planning on junior college first, which in all likelihood is what we would be able to afford at first anyway. Worrying about college acceptance for their entire childhood ruins the experience of homeschooling for me, so I have to let go and let them explore and learn while making sure the basics are covered.

 

6) I would "get it" that a curriculum has to be not only engaging for the kids, but workable for me to teach as well. The best curriculum in the world is not good if the teacher is not enthusiastic and comfortable teaching it. I count too, because my attitude rubs off.

 

7) We'll read more and worry less about "language arts" work with reading. Twice in the last year and a half I have succeeded at doing that for periods of time and seen enormous gains, only to drift back to feeling something is missing if we aren't writing book reports or doing literary analysis. I never did much of that at this age, and was reading at a college level in 4th grade because I was left to my own devices to just read and enjoy. Why can't I get this through my thick skull??? Everything doesn't have to be analyzed or beat to death to be educational. I'll get it eventually...

 

8) I'd embrace "Eclectic" with arms open wide :-)

 

Cindy

 

Mom to the Kazakh/Kyrgyz 5

ages 12, 12, 11, 11 and 8

http://www.lajoyfamily.blogspot.com

[Ginevra]

What sort of things do you wish you'd done differently in the beginning, now that you're more experienced?

 

A friend and I were talking about this the other day, and we actually had very similar answers. I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts as well.:001_smile:

 

I wish I had bought curriculum for each subject instead of trying to put together my own history and science. Once I started doing that, I was much happier.

 

I wish had not believed that "it only takes about 2 hours a day." :tongue_smilie: I don't know who started that rumor, but that's only true for Kindergarten!

 

I was happier when I decided I had to have a planning session each week.

 

I also think Math should continue through the summer. I wish I had known that from the beginning.

[MyLittleBears]

Been more gracious - filled with grace.

Giving grace.

Modeling grace.

Praying for wisdom to parent my childen with grace.

 

Oh the failures that loom before me in all our homeschooling years BUT! my kids are awesome young people. I have to think my efforts contributed to that.

So that's the other thing I would say.

GIVE myself grace:lol:

 

ps

just read through some of the previous posts, found this

"I wish I hadn't let my face, voice, or manner betray disappointment when a child didn't grasp something that seemed obvious, or forgot something for the nth time, or otherwise performed poorly. I wish I had said "No problem, lots of people find this tricky. 'There's no royal road to learning!'" (which is what I say now, and it makes them laugh, and then everything is good). Aagh. If I had a time machine I would go slap my former self. A lot."

 

see? grace

It's a common requirement for homeschool moms, lol.

 

Thank you for posting this. I am trying,praying, and learning to be more gracious when my children struggle with something. I am thankful that God opened my eyes to this sooner rather than later. How much He teaches us through our precious children!

[Lawana]

We're in our tenth year of homeschooling. The most significant thing I would do differently is to be more self aware. Realize that the things I love (math) would always be easier for me to teach, and the things I hate (writing) would always be more difficult. And take my personal style (overly relaxed) into account. And then compensate. Continue to celebrate the strengths, but put more effort into addressing the weaknesses. Recognize earlier that we *always* did math (my strength and joy), but *usually* let writing (the bane of my existence) slide.

[Nikki -TX-]

Ten years of homeschooling now.

 

I wish I'd quit earlier in each subject. Oldest dd caught on to things so fast, and would beg to do more, and so I (and dh, when he did lessons with her) would just keep going ... until she was tired, and started making mistakes, and ended up in tears. Every lesson ended in tears. Until I learned to stop while it was still fun.

 

I wish I hadn't let my face, voice, or manner betray disappointment when a child didn't grasp something that seemed obvious, or forgot something for the nth time, or otherwise performed poorly. I wish I had said "No problem, lots of people find this tricky. 'There's no royal road to learning!'" (which is what I say now, and it makes them laugh, and then everything is good). Aagh. If I had a time machine I would go slap my former self. A lot.

 

In general I wish I had been kinder, yelled less, not thought of their performance as a reflection on me me me, and enjoyed more of our life at home together.

 

This encourages me so much. I've been homeschooling 4 years and have so much to learn.

 

Thanks for posting this!

-Nikki

[mommix3]

We are ending our 4th year. The main thing I wish like crazy I could change is the fact that my 3 older went to public school. I wish I would've homeschooled them from the beginning. Another thing I would change is the fact that the first two years were basically wasted because I was VERY relaxed. We did school when I felt like doing school. Or if they didn't want to do school work we would ditch it. THAT IS NOT WHAT GOING AT THEIR OWN PACE MEANS!!! Now it's a fight to get them to do work because they don't think they have to if they don't want to. I also would've spent more time teaching spelling. I have two that have horrible spelling. To the point that one spells nurse as nrs. And she is almost 11. So now I'm going to have to break old habits. All about spelling will come into play there. Also, I wish that I would've focused more on writing for my oldest.

[StartingOver]

I am on my second trip through. The first time I found TWTM in 1999, I am thrilled that I have it from the beginning. We are even more literature based now, than we were back then. I am starting reading, math, & handwriting much earlier. They are the things we must get done every.single.day. Beyond that the rest is interest based and all gravy. If anything I am more rigorous this time, as i know where we are headed. Setting a good foundation is extremely important for later work in TWTM way. Better early than late is my focus now, so we can slow it down and enjoy more.

 

More Grammar/Copy writing/ Dictation/Sentence Diagramming, etc. Never switch from Saxon until Algebra. More hands on to cement things and have more messy fun. More time exploring nature. Oh how I wish OPGTR and AAS had been around the first time !!! SOTW is amazing too.

 

I have nothing to prove. I know that we can do it. I know that I have plenty of time. That we can take breaks when needed.

 

Most of all I wish I hadn't sold everything I used, knowing that I was done with children. LOL Never say never, one tubal reversal and 2 more children, we are collecting again. ;-) ( But I really am done this time, and not selling a single thing !!! I am saving for grandbabies now, they can use Grandma's library! )

Edited April 23, 2011 by StartingOver

[Elizabeth in WA]

I have homeschooled 6-7 out of the last ten years including every grade from kindergarten through ninth (not counting preschool years, though I did teach reading to 4 year olds per the 1st edition Well-Trained Mind I read avidly when my oldest was young.) However, my children have all also attended 3-4 years of public school.

 

What I would do differently is insist on more straight up memorization - grammar, Latin tables, events in history, etc. The only subject in which I insisted on absolute mastery of the basic facts, math, is also the subject at which my children have most excelled, feel most confident, and have the greatest conceptual understanding. We have begun remedying this lack already, and will continue to do so next year.

 

On the other hand, I would advise some amount of relaxation on the part of parents of younger children, because I can say with absolute confidence that bright kids can lose multiple whole years of academics and still end up on a relatively rigorous college prep high school track. I am not advising this, but the reasons this happened for one of my children are related to his Asperger's syndrome and a self-contained social behavior classroom that has definitely benefited him greatly in the long run.

[ange]

:thumbup: Thank you for this thread and to all that have contributed! I am soaking in all the wisdom! I think this has to be the best thread I have read so far on this board.

[8filltheheart]

What sort of things do you wish you'd done differently in the beginning, now that you're more experienced?

 

A friend and I were talking about this the other day, and we actually had very similar answers. I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts as well.:001_smile:

 

I made most of the changes w/my little ones ages ago. I dumped boxed curriculum; I teach them where they are w/o concern to "graded levels"; I don't try to do academics when I know the readiness markers indicate they aren't ready (for example, my 5 yod did not do K this yr even though originally I had planned on it. She was still drawing stick figures with only a circle for both body and head earlier this yr......a huge indication of mental immaturity).

 

I do only do minimal work, about an hr/grade. :D It works. They work hard and focused during that time and we achieve what we need to.

 

The area where I have really changed is with my older kids. I had to stop seeing middle/high school as the same normal routine progression of skills that my dh and I both accomplished (even though we were both AP students). I have a ds that is seeking a path that is far more theoretical and deep than we achieved at the college level. Breaking the mold and embracing the freedom to allow him to work at his pace/level was actually far more difficult for me than the similar philosophy during elementary school b/c I realized that my oldest probably could have achieved the same sort of level if I hadn't been so confining to "the typical" in my approach w/him. Not that it has hurt my oldest b/c he is very successful in his own right.....it is just that his path might have been different, not necessarily better. Hind-sight and all of that.

 

Another beneficial thing we have done with my "older-younger kids" is to seek academic summer camps. They are a blessing to the "intellectual" sort. They thrive in being around other kids that eat/sleep/dream the same stuff they do.

[Firestar Academy]

Ten years of homeschooling now.

 

 

I wish I hadn't let my face, voice, or manner betray disappointment when a child didn't grasp something that seemed obvious, or forgot something for the nth time, or otherwise performed poorly. I wish I had said "No problem, lots of people find this tricky. 'There's no royal road to learning!'" (which is what I say now, and it makes them laugh, and then everything is good). Aagh. If I had a time machine I would go slap my former self. A lot.

 

In general I wish I had been kinder, yelled less, not thought of their performance as a reflection on me me me, and enjoyed more of our life at home together.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

finishing up year 1, here.

 

Robin in NJ

[Annabel Lee]

I'll have to go back & read all the posts in this one; I'm sure there's some gems.

 

I'm only finishing up my 6th year of homeschooling, if you count K-4/preschool.

 

If I knew then what I know now, I'd not have used boxed curriculum for K4 & K5 for my oldest two. I'd not have believed that other homeschoolers who sounded as if they knew this homeschooling gig inside & out really did. I'd have more faith in my own ability and accept that my kids are where they are at, so I must teach them from that point and not try to jump ahead. On that note, when I fell behind, I tried like mad to supplement with other things to catch us up while also continuing the things we fell behind in. Why not just continue, at an accelerated pace if possible, (and if not, then just consistently) with what we were doing in the 1st place? In panic, I scrambled around thinking I need to quickly shove alot of skill/knowledge into my kids' heads and tried to find various tools to do that with. Bad idea. Then I fell further behind in the main curric. because of time devoted to supplementary things. Less supplementing, more focused school time & consistency.

 

Something else I learned: When taking curric. advice from other homeschoolers, find out if they've even used it, and if so, for how long and with how many kids. They may have no more knowledge of it than you have of the thing you just started. They might just be really excited about it and that's why they make it sound like the best thing since sliced bread.

 

ETA: I wish that in my quest to implement the more rigorous parts of TWTM (writing, for one) in my hs that I hadn't let art, logic, science experiments & history projects slide. It's easy to let it become all work and no fun when you're hyperfocused only on certain aspects.

Edited April 24, 2011 by Annabel Lee

[Violet Crown]

 

But I really am done this time, and not selling a single thing !!! I am saving for grandbabies now, they can use Grandma's library! )

Yes! That's my rationalization too. ;)

[kimi-o]

This is a great thread! I'm soaking up all your wonderful advice!

[Mommee & Baba]

I forgot to tell my answers LOL!

 

1) While I know K needs to be relaxed, I think I was TOO relaxed in the early grades. This has led my kids to think that school is an option that they actually have a choice over.

 

2) I was definitely too relaxed when it came to reading. When it didn't click at 5, or 6, or 7, I took the approach of "Oh well, some kids just read later." At the time Little Bear Wheeler (who learned to read at 11) was my hero. Now I know that I should have been intervening MUCH earlier when they just weren't getting reading, and we now have a lot of lost time to make up for.

 

 

:iagree:When I was just starting homeschool 4 years ago I didn't keep a steady schedule and really focus on the main subjects with my dd. I just let her do what she wanted to do with school and then figured we could pick up things later on. That was a HUGE mistake! The past 2 summers I've done NOTHING but play catch up with her. FINALLY this coming school year we'll be on track and be able to focus on school and not worry about playing catch up in the summers.

 

DD6 got a MUCH stronger start than dd7 because I knew what I wanted to do differently and she's ahead in many subjects compared to what her sister was and I think it has alot to do with the approach I took with her. School was NOT an option and either way it had to be done each day.

 

With DS2 when he begins preschool, we'll begin alot of what I did with DD6 and I hope to see a similar outcome as what I've seen in DD6.

[Hunter]

Something else I learned: When taking curric. advice from other homeschoolers, find out if they've even used it, and if so, for how long and with how many kids. They may have no more knowledge of it than you have of the thing you just started. They might just be really excited about it and that's why they make it sound like the best thing since sliced bread.

 

:iagree:

[CrissMom]

I will be starting Kindergarten in the Fall with my ds. I have really enjoyed reading all of these posts!