What do you consider a large family?

[Pretty in Pink]

I have five and I get constant comments. :001_smile: A lot of nice "your children are so well behaved" and occasionally "do they all have the same dad, they all look different". :glare:

 

:001_huh: Oh, my. How incredibly rude some people can be. As if being part of a blended family is something to be ashamed of. And really, I know blended families in which the children look very similar to one another and biological families in which the children each look very unique (I grew up in the latter, and my sons are part of the former). What an absurd comment!

[Pretty in Pink]

Around here 3 gets looks and 4 is definitley considered big. Recently someone commented on my ds with a "you do know what causes that" and I told her that I did and that it was a lot of fun so we may have more.

 

I like that one. :001_smile:

 

We have gotten several, "So, you must be Catholic, huh?" I like to respond, "No, just naughty Protestants!" I think I picked that one up here on this board.

[DarlaS]

In my mind, an only child is a small family, a pair of children is an average family, 3-4 children are a category of its own that's in between an average and a big family (depending on the culture and whom you ask), and 5+ is definitely a large family.

 

I like the suggestion of "fitting into a normal car" as an arbiter - that would basically mean that 3 can pass, but 4 already would make a large family I suppose.

 

May I just add a moment of awe and admiration for those of you who manage large families with kids oscillating in ages as much as they often do? :)

 

Okay then, anything smaller than a Dodge Sprinter is a normal car. ;)

 

My family gets to stay in-between in a category of its own. :D

[Mandy in TN]

husband & wife = small family

h, w + 1 child = small family

h, w + 2 or 3 children = average, medium family

h, w + 4-13 children = large family

h, w + 14 or more = jumbo family :D

 

I figure if you can't fit the whole family in a large car, you're a large family. Once you need a small bus, you're a jumbo family.

 

Not that the label really matters.

:iagree: What a logical label! It makes sense except I would say that if you need something larger than a 14 passenger van (so 4-12 kids) then you are a jumbo family.

 

Mandy

[mommy4ever]

We have 4, we get the comments too. My mom was 1 of seventeen, my grandma one of 12, grandpa was an only(and he fathered 17..lol) my dad was one of 8, and not sure about my fraternal grandparents, i know they each had at least 2 siblings.

[ecj98]

I would say 6 or more kids.

 

BUT, when (if) we have #4 who we are currently TTC, it will make us one of only 2 families in our church to have more than 3 kids. So I guess we will be considered a big family.

[NCJessieRN]

I get comments ALL the time also! Four does not seem large to me but I know it's not the norm (where we live). Growing up I only knew one family with more than three children and most had two. Large to me would be >6 but maybe if I had 6 it wouldn't seem that large?.

 

We have had strangers questioning my husbands paternity because he is Hispanic and my youngest two have blonde hair and blue and gray eyes. Really??? WHO does that! Lol! We just try to laugh at or ignore the silly comments!

[cjbeach]

We have 3 and get large family comments allllllllllllll of the time. This thread is so timely for me right now, because 2 months shy of my 41st bday I have a HUGE babyache. Huge.

 

We waited to have kids until we were set/ready/mature/stable/etc...... but had known then I'd feel this way now, I would have lived on pebbles to have more children and sooner.

 

Four is just not going to happen for us now.

 

People are so brazen about family size comments that it's shocking. I remember the first time my elderly neighbor came over to our house to see brand new baby #3 his first comment was "You are done now. No more." :001_huh:I actually had a lot of people asking questions about permanent birth control right after the baby was born. :glare: Way to spoil my babymoon, kwim????

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I consider 5+ to be a large family. I think in this day and age 2-3 is average, so even 4 kids seem like a large family to most people. I have a large extended family, and I am the only one of my cousins with 4 kids.

[KidsHappen]

Seems to me that it was #4 that moved us into the large category. That's when I aquired the KidsHappen moniker and was informed that my TV watching habits were not sufficent. ;)

[elegantlion]

I'd say 5 or more. My dh is one of 5, my mom is one of 8. I'm one of two, geez now we are sounding like Borg.

 

Commenting on family size is rude. I stand in awe of some of you with larger families. I like my one, his designation is 1 of 1.

[ChemMommy]

We actually got condolences!! My mom called specifically to tell me that I couldn't have any more babies!

 

Oddly, AFTER the baby came, all kinds of people asked us when #5 was coming. I guess after 4 babies, people just expect you to keep reproducing willynilly! LOL

 

I guess I consider 4 to be a large family.

[PiCO]

I would guess the average family in middle-class america has 2-3 children. That means most people will perceive 4 children as a larger than average family.

 

I have seen people say really rude things to people with large families, couples with only one child, and couples with no children at all. Seems anything that's outside the norm will be commented on.

[Cera]

I consider four or more children a large family. I consider seven or more children a huge family.

[Beetkvass]

I think 4 or more seems large in our society. But in my mind you need 7 to have a large family. I only have 6. I'm sure that sounds silly because I hear so much about how large our family is.

[Homemama2]

We have gotten several, "So, you must be Catholic, huh?" I like to respond, "No, just naughty Protestants!" I think I picked that one up here on this board.

 

:lol: Love it!

 

I can't believe the comments people make about other people having kids. After we had #2 my neighbor said, "You're done now, right?" :001_huh: I'd love to have more kids. We've been trying for three years w/ no luck, so to the OP: You just enjoy those babies all you can and ignore nasty MIL comments. ;)

[GWOB]

Around here 3 gets looks and 4 is definitley considered big. Recently someone commented on my ds with a "you do know what causes that" and I told her that I did and that it was a lot of fun so we may have more.

 

Yep! My Catholic friends often use this one when confronted with obnoxious comments.

 

The whole "What is a large family" thing is so subjective. It really depends on where you live. We had out third when we were in upstate NY. We got looks and comments all the time for just 3! I felt like such a huge family. Then we moved here. Four dc is quite common and considered perfectly normal. Five is pretty popular. Six will generate suggestions than you should get cable. Seven, though still seen, is usually met with a jaw drop. I know people on their 8th and 9th kids. Suddenly my three kiddos seem puny. I guess there really isn't all that much to do here except, well, ya know;). I think big families are great. My dad is one of 9. My mom is one of 6. I'm the oldest of 3 and I wish we would have had more.

[LaissezFaire]

I'm not sure, maybe any family bigger than mine? We are a family of 8 and I do not feel like a large family but everyone around here considers us one.

[wapiti]

I started getting comments with newborn twins and a two year old.

Edited March 26, 2015 by wapiti

[SquirrellyMama]

I was in Starbucks with my 3 children one day and this guy exclaimed,"Are they all yours!" You would have thought I had 15 kids.

 

I usually think a large family is 5 kids or more.

 

Kelly

[IsabelC]

Of course it's both arbitrary and relative to the norms in one's own circle. For me, 1 kid (or none) is a small family, 2-4 is normal and 5 or more is large. The Australian government considers more than 2 children to be a large family, as I get paid Large Family Supplement with the benefits for my 3 children.

[Caitilin]

I'm not sure, maybe any family bigger than mine? We are a family of 8 and I do not feel like a large family but everyone around here considers us one.

 

:lol:

I came in here to say this exact thing! Down to the number in the family and everything...

[kimnc]

I would say 4 or more. However, being the oldest of 4 growing up, it didn't really feel like our family was that large - just normal.

 

People can be rude, no matter what. I used to get comments about "having your hands full" from strangers -- and I only have 2! :001_huh: Made me wonder what they would have said if I'd had 3, or 4.

 

I am in AWE (and a bit envious) of you women with larger families. Such a beautiful thing. :)

[lllll]

...

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I've always considered more than two children to be a large family.

 

When I was growing up, I didn't know anyone who had more than 2 children.

 

We only have one . . . and my only sibling only has one . . . so we obviously do small families, LOL.

 

Comically enough, my mom is one of seven and my dad is one of . . . I'm not sure either fifteen or sixteen, but for some reason they chose to only have two.

[alpidarkomama]

When we had 4, people definitely started seeing us as a large family, but actually, within our community we're a bit on the small side. :) I would have loved to have 8. Or 9. Or 10. Or... But four is what we got, and I'm happy!

[5LittleMonkeys]

Most people we know consider us to be a large family (except for the families that have more than us). We might have even had more if the last one hadn't given us such a scare.

 

Most of the time people just make comments about how blessed we are or how I must have my hands full. I have had the "Are all those yours?" comments, to which I seriously reply, "All except the littlest one. We're still making payments on her." It usually takes them awhile and then they laugh, kind of nervously.:tongue_smilie:

 

I wouldn't know how to react to someone being really rude about it. Knowing me I would probably say something like , "Well, when you are as incredible as I am at being a parent there really is no difference between 2 and 10." Or I might just say, "Wow, making judgements about the size of my family is really rude. You don't see me critcizing your small IQ." HeeHee, no I wouldn't really say....or would I? ;)

[snipsnsnailsx5]

I think over five is large. But that is because I have five and it doesn't seem large. ;) Number six is on the way, and that seems large. haha However, I bet after a year or so it will become my new norm and I will think seven and over is a large family. ;)

 

I think the whole "are you Catholic/Mormon" question related to having lots of kids is funny.

I DO fall into the Mormon category. But it has nothing to do with how many kids I have. However I'm sure it doesn't seem that way....good luck trying to get people to understand when they see me with my six kids. lol

I joined the church three years ago, when pregnant with our fifth. So we already had five kids, pretty much, when we joined the church. Our decision to have a sixth was purely just because we wanted another baby.

In our ward (like our congregation based on our area where we live...our town is divided into three wards) there is probably only a couple large families. Some of the older ladies with children grown and gone have six, but out of the young families still having kids we will have the largest family when we have our sixth. :) The majority of the families here have two or three kids. Of course they are still young and having babies, but many of them are not planning a large family.

The majority of our older ladies done having children have around 3-4 kids on average.

 

I've heard of LDS families have lots of kids, but I'm not quite sure why that's so. We're taught that birth control is between husband, wife, and God. Its not like we're taught to have as many kids as we can. In fact the church's "stance" on family size is, again, between husband and wife, and God.

Families, however, are very important and special. There is a lot of emphasis on the family and being together in Heaven.

I still am confused why LDS have more large families on average, or why the connotation is there. I've only known of a couple families over six kids...but we don't know many LDS people yet other then in our own little ward. lol

[scrappyhappymama]

We have four sons, and I get comments ALL.THE.TIME about how big our family is and "how do I do it!?"

 

But, I think that we stand out more since we have all boys. And because my oldest is only 8, so I almost always have all of them with me when we are out and about. And he is small for his age, so our four look pretty close in age. So even though the comments we get are about family size, I really think they are derived more from family configuration.

 

It's funny though. In most places in society, we are a "big" family. But at homeschool co-op, where there are many 6 or 7 or 8 children families, I don't fit in with the big families yet. I am looked at as "just gettin' started." :lol:

[snipsnsnailsx5]

But, I think that we stand out more since we have all boys.

 

Oh yes. I get that all the time too. Usually the comments follow a pattern. If we're out without the kids and somehow it comes up in conversation with someone (a common stranger on the street, a waiter in a restaurant, etc lol) that we have five kids then we first get the "oh wow!" comments, but as soon as they ask boys/girls and we tell them all boys...the comments really escalate. Often their eyes bug out of their head.

 

Its worse if we have all the boys out with us. People have counted them out loudly before, asked if they were all mine (huh?), still not believing what they were seeing asking us if we really do have five boys. Then we get the "poor you!" comments or "you really need a girl!" or "how do you do it?" or "you must be a saint!" or "how is your house still standing" and so on....

lol

 

Just wait until I have six boys. ;)

(not betting on a girl this time at all LOL)

[Carrie12345]

I haven't read all of the responses, but I've been getting comments since baby #3. That was probably more because she's only 13 months younger than #2, and (at that point, at least), I still looked younger than my age, which was 26.

 

When #4 was born, I started to get more grocery store comments, and the "Are you done yet" question became exponentially more frequent.

 

Since #5, I can't go anywhere without getting at least one "God bless ya!"

 

After posting here for so long, I think I have a skewed perception. I don't necessarily think of 5 as 'large' in the homeschool world. IRL, 4 seems to be the tipping point, with 5 firmly on the 'large' side, so I'm going with that.