5knights3maidens Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 My daughter was so badly "judged" 2 summers ago that it put her in such a tailspin that she is just coming out of it. Seriously. Her life has changed dramatically. She was called a tease, that she didn't love God, or wasn't saved, had bible verses thrown at her and where was this? On a week long trip with church to camp...adults doing this... (hrs. away) and I couldn't help her. I knew how she was dressed, I picked out her clothes. People that knew her were shocked that she was treated this way. We haven't been back to that church since. I'm just now starting to "talk" to some of "them" now. We will never be good friends, ever. This will always be in my mind. She always wanted to serve God from the time she was 5 but now has changed alot. She was treated like crap and my heart/and her dad's was broken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Bless her heart. :grouphug: That just makes me mad....some people are so caught up in judging others they forget to look at themselves. Their behavior was absolutely horrible. Hugs to your daughter. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 How unkind and unChristian. Tell your daughter that there are so many teen girls who would have loved to have her in their Bible study and totally would have accepted her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 adults from your church spoke to your child like this on a camp trip?? I would be livid!!!! you said you are barely speaking to them, I assume this is after letting the church leadership know what happened? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) I'm sorry. This is just the kind of thing that turns many people, especially the young, away from religion. Ask me how I know. :grouphug: to all of you. Edited March 17, 2011 by Mejane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 My daughter was so badly "judged" 2 summers ago that it put her in such a tailspin that she is just coming out of it. Seriously. Her life has changed dramatically. She always wanted to serve God from the time she was 5 but now has changed alot. She was treated like crap and my heart/and her dad's was broken. :grouphug: to you and to your daughter. My life has been riddled with horrible experiences with Christians, many quite recently, and all that I can say beside how sorry I am for all of you is that she must come to the place where she realizes that it is people who have failed her, not God. (Maybe she already has.) Even as an adult, this has been difficult for me to realize given what has transpired in my family's life. I hope and pray that she will be renewed in her faith in Him whether or not she chooses to believe in "christians" again. Personally, I deeply understand your heartbreak, and when I hear people proclaim themselves as "christians" they are (sadly) immediately suspect in my estimation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 This happened to my son at private 'Christian' school by teachers and students alike because of the books he like to read. He was always on fire for God. It's been over 3 years and he still struggles with it. It's my biggest regret that we were ever affiliated with this school. I'm sorry this happened to your daughter, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 adults from your church spoke to your child like this on a camp trip?? I would be livid!!!! you said you are barely speaking to them, I assume this is after letting the church leadership know what happened? Oh Yeah! They heard me and it wasn't pretty. I didn't scream or yell but boy did they know what I thought. My dh didn't have time to think but my dd needed us immediately and I wasn't going to let it go or wait to think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 That's awful. I went through the wringer too when I was a brand new Christian (just turned 18) by the adults in my church. It probably would have made me walk away from God entirely if I had not had such a miraculous conversion experience. I am convinced that there are some people in the church who are just planted there to lead people astray and cause division. I'm so sorry for your poor daughter though. That is really difficult. It's hard when your faith is shaken. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koerarmoca Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 :( shame on those adults. I am so sorry your dd was treated poorly. I pray that she is able to continue to heal from this and seeks out the Lord on her own. I wasn't hurt by the church per say but something that happened in the leadership of the church put a huge dent in my faith as a teen. I had to seek for Jesus on my own before I was able to attend a church again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 My oldest was judged for some decisions we made as a family. He found it amusing :001_rolleyes: (dh and I otoh, did have our feelings hurt, but we're over it.) Ds's walk with the Lord is solid and thankfully not threatened by other sinners. May God always protect him in that way, and I pray He brings peace and comfort to your dd also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 My heart is breaking for you. No, really, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry you were all treated like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 :grouphug:to your dd. I'm in shock that adults would let this take place. You are a better person then me, I don't think I could ever talk to them again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Personally, I deeply understand your heartbreak, and when I hear people proclaim themselves as "christians" they are (sadly) immediately suspect in my estimation. That is so sad. It appears no one is exempt from judging and no one is exempt from being judged. Oh well. Joann?? had an interesting thread about this last night. I'm sorry your daughter was so hurt, OP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WistfulRidge Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) How awful for your dd :grouphug: I had something similar happen when I was 14. My grandmother, who was my best friend and whom I loved more than anything, died a rather unpleasant death. Unsurprisingly, I took it very, very hard. Some (ahem) "well-meaning" youth leader told me to suck it up and be happy, and then pretty much went on to imply that I'd be going to hell and never be with grandma again because I wasn't completely at peace with her death. Somehow this devolved into a general consensus that I didn't have enough faith and that I needed to be saved. It didn't shake my faith so much as it made me so completely angry (especially because now that the leader had said it, I got it from the whole youth group - daily :glare:) that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with Christians of any denomination. It was a long and interesting road for me to get back to the place where I was willing to forgive and voluntarily join in christian worship services again. (Funnily - is that even a word? - enough it was a Wiccan priestess that finally guided me to the confidence and compassion to jump back in and do what God wanted me to do!) I love God, but I still despise going to church. Mainly because formal services seem to bring out the nasty side of most Christians I know, but now I look upon it as an exercise in obedience and a time to find and reflect upon opportunities to provide service rather than a punishment! :grouphug: For you and your family. You'll get through this, and ultimately I've found that these sorts of trials definitely make you into a more Christ-like person. Edited March 17, 2011 by theAmbitiousHousewife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted March 17, 2011 Author Share Posted March 17, 2011 How awful for your dd :grouphug: I had something similar happen when I was 14. My grandmother, who was my best friend and whom I loved more than anything, died a rather unpleasant death. Unsurprisingly, I took it very, very hard. Some (ahem) "well-meaning" youth leader told me to suck it up and be happy, and then pretty much went on to imply that I'd be going to hell and never be with grandma again because I wasn't completely at peace with her death. Somehow this devolved into a general consensus that I didn't have enough faith and that I needed to be saved. It didn't shake my faith so much as it made me so completely angry (especially because now that the leader had said it, I got it from the whole youth group - daily :glare:) that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with Christians of any denomination. It was a long and interesting road for me to get back to the place where I was willing to forgive and voluntarily join in christian worship services again. (Funnily - is that even a word? - enough it was a Wiccan priestess that finally guided me to the confidence and compassion to jump back in and do what God wanted me to do!) I love God, but I still despise going to church. Mainly because formal services seem to bring out the nasty side of most Christians I know, but now I look upon it as an exercise in obedience and a time to find and reflect upon opportunities to provide service rather than a punishment! :grouphug: For you and your family. You'll get through this, and ultimately I've found that these sorts of trials definitely make you into a more Christ-like person. Wow! I can't even imagine... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry you had to go through this, and your daughter, too. How horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 I haven't words. I know just about as exactly as you feel due to a similar situation with my dd. I'll never forget it since it was my first time coming up against religious intolerance. And surprisingly enough it didn't happen in the deep south where I spent 20 years of my life living. It was a very difficult time getting dd through it. Luckily she was young, and has since made great true Christian friends. :grouphug: for you and your daughter. AmbitiousHousewife, join the group hugging. :grouphug: I know it is hard to take in, process and get past, but I do know there will come a day when people like that will face the Ultimate Judge. I will pray for an end to religious intolerance everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 That's beyond horrible. Your poor daughter!!! :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 And church camp should be a safe place. :glare: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 The documentary Jesus Camp (instant view on netflix) is very frightening. I think it should be require watching for anyone considering sending their child to a religious camp w/o being with them. ((hugs)) to your family. I am so angry on your behalf that someone posing as a 'helper' could be abusive and cruel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I am so sorry let your daughter know that she is not alone. My little (ok she is 13 now lol) will not have anything to do with church at all now. None of my kids will go anymore at all. Even though we have moved and can start over none of my kids will attend a church. I even mention it I have two that get angry and the other two huddle and cry about seeing mean people in Gods house. One of my sons plainly states he does not wanna go and have to see his teachers underwear! It is really tragic when so called "teachers" ruin something as wonderful as church. I have the greatest memories of church growing up sadly my children don't and probally never will now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 The documentary Jesus Camp (instant view on netflix) is very frightening. I think it should be require watching for anyone considering sending their child to a religious camp w/o being with them. ((hugs)) to your family. I am so angry on your behalf that someone posing as a 'helper' could be abusive and cruel. Jesus Camp was my childhood and it sucked. My husband was so horrified by it that he couldn't watch the whole thing. Being spanked for not "dancing for the Lord", being asked by my youth pastor after I was raped, "what did you do to make it happen?", etc. Unqualified people were put in positions of leadership and they had no idea what they were doing. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Jesus Camp was my childhood and it sucked. My husband was so horrified by it that he couldn't watch the whole thing. Being spanked for not "dancing for the Lord", being asked by my youth pastor after I was raped, "what did you do to make it happen?", etc. Unqualified people were put in positions of leadership and they had no idea what they were doing. :001_huh: The "christian" rhetoric we have heard is how it is God's intentional plan for horrible things to happen to people to help them learn life lessons. Not to mention, as you said, the completely unqualified people who presume to lead in the church and (attempt to) demand respect from people when they are not respectable in the least. I have never encountered such duplicity as I have experienced in the "church" and under the guise of "christianity". So many people invoke the name of Jesus Christ expecting people to trust them. At this point, it makes me physically sick when people play the Jesus card. I highly doubt these people know Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abacus2 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 As a former Christian camp counselor, your story just tears me up. I wish I could have been there to look out for her. She is precious; her leaders, who don't deserve that title, behaved shamefully. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 It was a long and interesting road for me to get back to the place where I was willing to forgive and voluntarily join in christian worship services again. (Funnily - is that even a word? - enough it was a Wiccan priestess that finally guided me to the confidence and compassion to jump back in and do what God wanted me to do!) I love God, but I still despise going to church. Mainly because formal services seem to bring out the nasty side of most Christians I know, but now I look upon it as an exercise in obedience and a time to find and reflect upon opportunities to provide service rather than a punishment! :grouphug: For you and your family. You'll get through this, and ultimately I've found that these sorts of trials definitely make you into a more Christ-like person. :iagree:Not a Wiccan priestess, but it sounds like we have been on similar roads and I agree with everything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Thanks to everyone for sharing. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: My kids are in a youth group. Spiritually it makes me uncomfortable. Because I can't fully express why it makes me uncomfortable I haven't known what to do and feel like I'm making too big a deal of my feelings. This thread makes me realize that a youth group being 'off' spiritually is a really big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.