Night Elf Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Has anyone moved to a denomination that was unfamiliar? I'm thinking about visiting a church but I'm nervous about visiting the Baptist church again. But when I think about other denominations, I'm so intimidated by the idea of walking in and having no clue what to expect. If you've visited churches, do you attend any time of Bible study that is offered before the church service, if there is one? Or do you go only for worship? And unfortunately I do not have anyone that would go with me or invite me to attend with them. I don't know anyone that attends church. I would be completely on my own, hence my hesitation and anxiety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I understand completely. When I left my birth denomination, I was really nervous about attending other churches. I went for worship only. I looked in the religion section of the local paper to get a feel for the churches in the area. (Many of them listed the sermon title for the week and also gave the web site address.) I checked out the web site for the church I was thinking of visiting that week. The book How to Be a Perfect Stranger (I think there are two volumes) gave me some ideas of what to expect in terms of services. (The church I was raised in is very, very low church in terms of weekly services.) DH and I and kids visited 8-9 churches over the course of several months. I can honestly say we didn't have a bad experience. Sometimes we could tell pretty quickly that a church wasn't a good fit for us, but the people were uniformly welcoming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We left the Episcopal/Anglican church after 12 years and started visiting all kinds of different churches. Maybe only visit those churches that meet certain criteria? For instance, we were looking for a conservative church first, but also one with liturgy. That narrowed down our choices considerably but ultimately saved us from blind searching. We eventually found a conservative, liturgical Presbyterian church that we love and have now become members. We were careful in the beginning to observe carefully their traditions and ask a lot of questions about the structure of the church. hth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We switched churches a few years ago. Most churches around here have websites, so we always looked them over before trying a church. Many will post sermons, give a description of the service ( contemporary or traditional), post music choices, etc. I always start with just the worship service ( no visitor card filled out or small class) to see if that fits. When we are at the stage of trying a new church about every weekend, I don't WANT people calling me. Many churches do special receptions for visitors, that's the type of thing I would do after a few visits to ask some questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Check out the web site first, that should give you some idea what to expect. It is fine to go for worship only. You can go to more stuff as you feel more comfortable, or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Yes, we converted from a free-flowing charismatic evangelical church to the eastern Orthodox church, with our first visit about two years ago. It's pretty much a complete 180 degree turn for us. It took us quite awhile to build up our courage to go. Thankfully, we were able to join someone (that I met on this board!) for our first experience. She was able to whisper to us through the service, letting us know what was going on. That was so helpful. That wasn't in our home town, so when we first started attending where we live I found people I felt comfortable with and would ask them questions. Maybe you could do the same? People usually seem to not mind being helpful .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renmew Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 My mom and I were out looking for a new church together, but we were mostly searching blindly. A pp suggested making a list of what you are looking for and I think that is a great idea. We did find a nice place, but only lasted 2 1/2 years, because ultimately it was lacking in something that was quickly becoming more and more important. When I first found the church I had one kid. Then I had three and they had no children's programming to think of. I have since found another church of that same denomination that is more suitable for kids and we are all very happy there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 It is intimidating!!!! ;) I would probly approach different churches in different ways. I would show up right as the service was starting, or right after it started...and grab a seat in the back. I might not jet out afterward though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Well, you're nervous about the Baptist church, why? That'd be a good place to start. If that's kinda what you want, but something about the last one didn't sit right with you, then perhaps if you pick that part out, there's actually a different Baptist church that would be perfect (at least doctrinally) for you. (There are MANY different Baptist Churches) If that's not a fit, if there are just "Fellowship Bible" churches, that might be a good place to start. Of all times, that was our families favorite church :) Scripturally what we considered sound, and friendly with fellowship for the families. I think if you make a list of the absolute things the church must be and the desires... you'd have a good place to start. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 When we were church shopping a while back, I found a website that talked about the churches in our area and gave me a hint as to the afiliation of the church. For instance, 90% of the churches were nondenomination, but the website told me they USED to Baptist or were seeded by another pentacostal church. Hopefully you can find someting like that as well. Other then that, I looked in the phonebook (yellow pages) and they are frequently grouped by denomination. We did have a 3 visit rule. We stayed a minimal of 3 Sundays. This allowed for guest preachers or the pastor having an 'off' day. Then we moved on. We stayed at one church for 3 months before I tried a new church (I knew it wasn't "it" for me even though DH was happy). We are so glad I did. So I think the three visit rule should apply to churches you LIKE as well as those you don't, so you can see them all. Try not to give out your personal information too much, I still get mail from a church I tried once 3 years ago! Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We switched churches a few years ago. Most churches around here have websites, so we always looked them over before trying a church. Many will post sermons, give a description of the service ( contemporary or traditional), post music choices, etc. This was how I found my church. I visited the website, read the doctrinal statement, even emailed the pastor some hard-hitting questions! LOL Thankfully, he was gracious and kind and took no offense to the things I asked. I was SO tired of church shopping and feeling like I was wasting my Sunday mornings sitting through stuff I just wanted to roll my eyes at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) :iagree: with looking at the website in advance. Most have a what to expect sections. I would also only do worship at first, just to see if you're comfortable there before filling out a card or going to sunday school. I've switched denominations before, and I had friends there, but it was still a little scary, so :grouphug: to you! Edited February 5, 2011 by heatherwith3 i left out what i was agreeing with. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 When you go to a church where the liturgy is not familiar don't worry about following everything in the prayer book. Just let it soak in. We have people come and visit and say that they are looking for a church. Many stay, some move on to a better fit for them. Don't be embarrassed and go visit the pastor is you have questions. The people of the church should be wanting to include you. Of course sometimes the most "helpful" on initial contact may be a little over the top but their hearts are in the right place. Say a prayer, grit your teeth and "just do it". :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kgreenaz Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I don't find it intimidating at all because, whenever we've gone to visit other churches, everyone has always been so darn nice and welcoming!! I grew up Baptist & Pentecostal and I am now non-denominational for life. We have attended three different Calvary Chapels and they have each been as welcoming as the others. Even the huge mega-church one that we attended until it just got too big for us. We have visited other churches with friends, even churches that are not similar to ours, and I'd have to say that below all the differences in church beliefs, we are all brothers and sisters of the heart and it has shown in the churches that we've gone to. I find the huge churches more intimidating than the smaller ones because the smaller ones will guarantee that someone will find you and talk to you and try to introduce you to others. The large churches allow you to be anonymous but then it can be hard to get connected. Hope you find the right fit for your family! When we switched churches, I relied on my husband to make the decision because I would have made the decision based on the wrong criteria like how many home educators are there, what is the worship like, are people similar to us rather than allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us. My husband does that a lot better than I do because he doesn't have those pre-conceived criteria. Peace & Grace, Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We recently decided that a move from our large PCA church was in order. My dh checked out 25+ churches within a reasonable distance from our house. We wound up at a Missionary Baptist Church (African American congregation; we're white). It has been a big adjustment for me. Not because of the racial difference so much as the very different worship style. There are some theological differences as well, but nothing we can't live with. Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Try a RC church and sit in the back. No one will bother you. It's so not intimidating.;) Hopefully, though, if you decide to attend regularly, you'll find some kind of social network to help you. :) BTW, I'm very impressed that you're thinking about it, and I'll be excited to hear where your journey leads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecj98 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Has anyone moved to a denomination that was unfamiliar? I'm thinking about visiting a church but I'm nervous about visiting the Baptist church again. But when I think about other denominations, I'm so intimidated by the idea of walking in and having no clue what to expect. If you've visited churches, do you attend any time of Bible study that is offered before the church service, if there is one? Or do you go only for worship? And unfortunately I do not have anyone that would go with me or invite me to attend with them. I don't know anyone that attends church. I would be completely on my own, hence my hesitation and anxiety. I'd invite you to join us if you were just a bit closer, but I'm guessing my church would probably be an hour or so away from you. We do have people who drive that far, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Has anyone moved to a denomination that was unfamiliar? I'm thinking about visiting a church but I'm nervous about visiting the Baptist church again. But when I think about other denominations, I'm so intimidated by the idea of walking in and having no clue what to expect. If you've visited churches, do you attend any time of Bible study that is offered before the church service, if there is one? Or do you go only for worship? And unfortunately I do not have anyone that would go with me or invite me to attend with them. I don't know anyone that attends church. I would be completely on my own, hence my hesitation and anxiety. I haven't, but dh has (he calls it his "Great Church Search) and I've heard some of his stories. I have visited other churches, but mostly when invited by friends, so I haven't got experience with just going on my own. I can certainly imagine that it would be rather nerve-wracking, though. I have no idea if the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is on your list of churches to try out, but if so here is a link to a page of information about what to expect (and I would be happy to answer questions). This information would apply to any of our congregations, wherever you happen to live. Toward the bottom of the page is a "meetinghouse locator" link that would help you find a church nearby. There's also a link on that page that would help you get in contact with a missionary for the church in your area, and they would be more than happy to go with you if you wanted a little support and guidance and someone to sit by--but you are most certainly welcome to just show up. Feel free to stay for whatever parts you want, and leave when you like. :) Good luck with your searching. I think you're very brave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Beth, one of my least favorite things to do is attend a church I don't know anything about. I don't even mean a different denomination, really, since sometimes churches in the same denomination can vary from church to church. When we were looking for a place to go, we looked online for churches in the area. Next we checked out the website for the church we were interested in. Often times you can learn much on the website, including worship times, outreach (something that was important for us to find), youth activities and what the church believes. I always feel much better when I have some idea of what to expect when I get there on Sunday. When just starting to visit/attend a church we started with worship only. I didn't want to get into a Bible study or Sunday school class until I knew if the church was someplace we would be interested in long-term. Good luck in your journey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) We did the church hunt thing last year, and I found that visiting a new church was generally not as bad as I expected it to be. Check out the website in advance; many churches have an actual "what to expect" or "for visitors" or whatever section on their website that gives you an idea of what the services will be like, maybe what kind of dress is typical, etc. Most Christian denominations are more liturgical, with more programmed services than typical Baptist churches, but you'll usually be handed a bulletin or program when you walk in that will lead you through everything. A lot of denominations have communion every week, which is probably different from your Baptist experiences. Sometimes it's passed around, sometimes you go forward. Sometimes the bulletin will spell things out; sometimes you just have to follow the crowd. And some denominations have closed communion, so that only members of that particular denomination are invited to take part (this would include Roman Catholics and Orthodox; I'm not sure of any others....most protestant denominations open communion to "all baptized believers" or something along those lines; usually it's made clear in the bulletin, and, of course, you can always abstain at any church if you're more comfortable that way). We never went to Sunday School until we'd been to a few services and were considering actually sticking with the church long term...that's partially because we always had the kids with us, though--they're fairly shy kids, and I didn't want to be constantly sticking them into new Sunday schools for a single week. ETA: you've only met me once, but I can invite you to my church is you want :). It's in Sandy Springs, though, which might be a bit far for you. Anyway, it's Sandy Springs Christian Church, if you want to check out the website (it's Disciples of Christ...and on the socially/theologically progressive end of the spectrum). Edited February 5, 2011 by kokotg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 How about a funny story to ease your anxiety? About 10 years ago (after a long hiatus) dh and I decided it was time to start attending church. He was raised catholic. I was raised pentecostal. There really is no middle ground on those two! :D And since neither of us were practicing we decided to go with a non-denominational church. We were both very hesitant for all the reasons you listed so we went on the website of the church we were interested in and noticed that there was a christian music concert coming up (it was a big church). I thought PERFECT! A big crowded concert means we can slip in, blend in, and check the place out in a very non-threatening way. So I bought tickets and we went. Well, little did we know the group playing that night was the christian equivalent of NSync or some other boy band. The place was FULL of screamng 12yo girls...a few thousand of them... and us. We were SO EMBARASSED. And we laughed SO HARD as we stood there surrounded by all these pre-teen girls. But in the end we did end up attending the church for a few years. So pick a service and just go. It can't possibly be worse than THAT can it? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 When we moved to our house, I went church shopping on my own because DH was working Sundays. And I was largely pregnant. I was really shy about it. There was one church that looked great online but turned out to be very not me in person. Now after trying for a year to adjust to some changes at our church, I am pretty sure it's time to move on, and I am contemplating changing denominations. I will second the opinion that attending a RC church is very easy as an outsider. I have attended masses for a variety of reasons at a variety of churches over the years, and never felt self-conscious. Good luck with your search. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We switched churches 4 years ago and did a major switch in denominations - went from Mennonite to Presbyterian. The way we found our church was that we went to a conference on Reformed Theology. We were Reformed, going to a Mennnonite church. We knew we wanted to leave our church (there were a lot of issues, nothing horrible, we just needed something spiritually deeper), but we didn't know where to go. So, we went to this conference and the church we go to now was one of the sponsoring churches. I was a little nervous because I didn't know anything about Presbyterians (except that they baptized babies, and with my upbringing, that was horrible:D), but when it got down to it, it wasn't that much of a change from where we'd been going. Except, that the teaching from the Word was much deeper and theologically we agreed. And the baptizing babies part, they still allowed us into membership even though we disagree on that one point. But, it's not an issue with us. We understand their position, we just don't agree with it. But we're still all friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalphs Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We switched churches a few years ago. Most churches around here have websites, so we always looked them over before trying a church. Many will post sermons, give a description of the service ( contemporary or traditional), post music choices, etc. I always start with just the worship service ( no visitor card filled out or small class) to see if that fits. When we are at the stage of trying a new church about every weekend, I don't WANT people calling me. Many churches do special receptions for visitors, that's the type of thing I would do after a few visits to ask some questions. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdeno Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Hi Beth, I would check out the web site and call the Pastor first. May God bless you on your search, Kariann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 Well, you're nervous about the Baptist church, why? That'd be a good place to start. I can't really say why. I don't think I have a sound reason. But I'm seriously leaning toward going to the one nearby tomorrow morning. I visited once before, several years ago, but didn't go back. It was scary looking for a new church so I decided to postpone it. So... 4 years later... long lost story, and I'm ready now. Thank you ladies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 So pick a service and just go. It can't possibly be worse than THAT can it? :lol: :lol: That is too funny! I'll think of that when I go in the morning. At least I'll have a smile on my face walking in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We have been in the process of switching churches. (Just like KrissiK switching from Mennonite as well). We have probably visited at least 15 churches, varying denominations. We have given each church a two visits as well. We just go to the worship service. No matter what you do, it is hard work and you never know what you will get. If it really gets uncomfortable, I would just leave. Good luck!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We went from baptist to pca several years ago. I would go to the main worship service initially, and then if you like that, try the Bible studies or Sunday School. :banghead: (because dd is watching me type and wanted a smile face) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 We switched churches a few years ago. Most churches around here have websites, so we always looked them over before trying a church. Many will post sermons, give a description of the service ( contemporary or traditional), post music choices, etc. I always start with just the worship service ( no visitor card filled out or small class) to see if that fits. When we are at the stage of trying a new church about every weekend, I don't WANT people calling me. Many churches do special receptions for visitors, that's the type of thing I would do after a few visits to ask some questions. :iagree:I agree with the bolded part 100%. During our first move, we visited approx. 20 churches. One time Dh had to go without me, due to an injury. He filled out the card.:glare: He thought I was crazy for never letting him fill out the others. Five years and a relocation later and we are STILL getting mail from them. The hardest part of moving (for me) is finding a good church. Churches vary so greatly. We just went down the phone book until we found one that worked for us - eliminating any that we knew wouldn't work from the list. You won't know if a church will work for you after the first visit, but you'll get a pretty clear idea if it won't. Happy hunting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niffercoo Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Beth, our church is in the Hamilton Mill area of Buford. Would that be too far of a drive for you? My husband is the music minister, and we have found this church to be very welcoming of our special needs kids. Music is a blend of contemporary and hymns - there is a band and not a choir. Our pastor is outstanding! Next Sunday (the 13th) is "Bring a Friend Day" so you wouldn't have to feel like you're the only new face that day! PM me if you're interested. No pressure, I promise! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Is this church the one across the street from the Abernathy Arts Center? I have wanted to try it for a while now. I am more intrigued since you say it is progressive. One of DH's best friends is a DOC pastor in Kentucky, and he has been trying to convince me to try a DOC church. We did the church hunt thing last year, and I found that visiting a new church was generally not as bad as I expected it to be. Check out the website in advance; many churches have an actual "what to expect" or "for visitors" or whatever section on their website that gives you an idea of what the services will be like, maybe what kind of dress is typical, etc. Most Christian denominations are more liturgical, with more programmed services than typical Baptist churches, but you'll usually be handed a bulletin or program when you walk in that will lead you through everything. A lot of denominations have communion every week, which is probably different from your Baptist experiences. Sometimes it's passed around, sometimes you go forward. Sometimes the bulletin will spell things out; sometimes you just have to follow the crowd. And some denominations have closed communion, so that only members of that particular denomination are invited to take part (this would include Roman Catholics and Orthodox; I'm not sure of any others....most protestant denominations open communion to "all baptized believers" or something along those lines; usually it's made clear in the bulletin, and, of course, you can always abstain at any church if you're more comfortable that way). We never went to Sunday School until we'd been to a few services and were considering actually sticking with the church long term...that's partially because we always had the kids with us, though--they're fairly shy kids, and I didn't want to be constantly sticking them into new Sunday schools for a single week. ETA: you've only met me once, but I can invite you to my church is you want :). It's in Sandy Springs, though, which might be a bit far for you. Anyway, it's Sandy Springs Christian Church, if you want to check out the website (it's Disciples of Christ...and on the socially/theologically progressive end of the spectrum). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Is this church the one across the street from the Abernathy Arts Center? I have wanted to try it for a while now. I am more intrigued since you say it is progressive. One of DH's best friends is a DOC pastor in Kentucky, and he has been trying to convince me to try a DOC church. I had to look it up to check (apparently I'm not very observant and had never noticed the arts center), but yep--it is! Definitely progressive--particularly the senior pastor--he was the interim minister at the UCC (United Church of Christ) we used to go to in Atlanta, which is how we wound up deciding to give it a try (we're in Cherokee county, so it's a pretty good ways for us still, although a bit closer than our old church). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I think it's great that you're going tomorrow!!!! Enjoy! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I had to look it up to check (apparently I'm not very observant and had never noticed the arts center), but yep--it is! Definitely progressive--particularly the senior pastor--he was the interim minister at the UCC (United Church of Christ) we used to go to in Atlanta, which is how we wound up deciding to give it a try (we're in Cherokee county, so it's a pretty good ways for us still, although a bit closer than our old church). Thanks! We won't be there tomorrow as we are all getting over colds, but maybe soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwka Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 He was raised catholic. I was raised pentecostal. There really is no middle ground on those two! There is: Catholic Charismatics. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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