FortWorthCookes Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I'm still trying to formulate an answer. If your spouse posed this question, how would you respond? We're only just starting out, but from my experience as a homeschool graduate, the role of homeschool mom is something I'm still trying to figure out. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Be understanding that the house will not be neat and tidy. Be willing to help with household chores like laundry, dishes, and cooking on occassion as I will be busy all day working with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Ensure you have time to plan and organize. It's hard to gather supplies and library books while chasing youngsters around. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would be in such shock after that question that my husband would have to scrape me off the floor! Would your husband be interested in teaching any particular subject? I would have been so grateful if mine had wanted to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Well, not trying to sound too sarcastic, but I would probably tell my dh that he could help me be a better homeschooling mom by doing the dishes and the laundry once in a while! :tongue_smilie: Seriously, though, I think it's sweet that your dh would ask that. I would like for my dh to be a sounding board for my ideas and to patiently listen to the plans I have made and make suggestions for anything that he thinks is over the top, or anything he thinks may be missing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Plan a subject or two for me. As a matter of fact, if you could TEACH one or two subjects, that would be a huge help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would def. ask for some help with housechores because being a homeschooling mom that's the last thing that is done in our home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 What a blessing! I think each mom's wish list would be individual and different, but I'll share my list with you of the few, constant things I've asked of my dh to help out in homeschooling. They are: #1. Be the active spiritual leader in our home. #2. Make breakfast (can nicely integrate with number 1 and I am sooooo not a morning person). I handle all the other meals, snacks, menu planning, grocery shopping - I have never felt this was too much to ask. #3. Help our children be physically fit. Sports, exercise, whatever it takes. These are the only three areas in which I have definitively, repeatedly asked for his assistance. They are things which take discipline and planning, but certainly no more than the amount of discipline and planning I've been required to make over the years of educating these kids. Truth is, he would rather help by washing dishes and doing laundry. But that's not where I need his help. I need him to help by relieving me of things that take additional mental energy. I can fold clothes and load the dishwasher in my sleep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 First, give him a huge kiss! My dh has been off this past week. While I am doing school with the kids, he has done the dishes and helped with laundry. After we finished school, he took them outside to play while I had Mommy moment. It was wonderful! So how can dh help you out? Ask him to take the kids somewhere while you have alone time to clean/plan/read/veg out. Have him cook a meal every once in a while. Assign him a chore. For example, my dh is on permanent trash duty. Ask him to lower his cleanliness expectations. I've heard about mythical homeschool moms who have perfect houses, but I have yet to meet one. Ask him to just hold you up at the end of a particularly difficult day. Honestly, if he is asking how he can help, you are very lucky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dani3boys Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would ask him to take the kids away for a few hours once in a while so that I could do some school planning without having to worry about anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would ask him to take the kids away for a few hours once in a while so that I could do some school planning without having to worry about anything else. I would ask for this as well, but I would not use all that time to plan education for my children. One thing that you will likely need at times is time by yourself. My dh finally gave me regularly scheduled time out of the house alone because it made me happier and therefor everyone eles happier. I go knit, read at the library, meet a friend for coffee... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Help with housework Occasionally taking on the grocery shopping Not caring that the house isn't always clean Take me out to dinner by ourselves every once in a while Keep asking my questions like that :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would ask him to kindly ignore a less than tidy home. Also, it would be nice if he took over the nighttime routine on the nights that he is available to do so. Lastly, if he could occupy the kids for two hours on Sunday afternoon so that I can get my plans together for the coming week I would be very appreciative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) remember that homeschooling is just like having a part time job, if not full time job. If I was working outside the home he would expect the house to be a bit messy and disorganized. It is definitely the same when we are home because while I an "working" there are 3 other people I am not working with making messes. good curriculum can sometimes be costly. Yes, you can save some money buying used, but many times you get what you pay for. I need to be alone as well. Yes, my dh has been out of the house around people all day long, but at least he can ride in a car on the way to work without talking to anyone if he wants to turn off his phone. I generally don't have that privilege. I am tired of being around people at the end of the day too. I try to be considerate of him in that regard and he does a great job of remembering that for me as well. Although I need to be alone at times, I also need the company of other adults from time to time. Homeschooling can be isolating. I need my dh's encouragement to branch out and find friendships for myself. ETA: I also need my dh to be the "principal" of my school. Nobody wants to be sent to the principal's office! My dh is a great man. He does most of these things most of the time. Edited January 27, 2011 by fairfarmhand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbeee Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Reading this thread it occurs to me that my very dh does these things. All these wonderful suggestions of how a dh can help, mine does these things and I have never asked. Seeing it all laid out in front of me like a checklist really put into perspective how fortunate I am to have found my most perfect partner in love and life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would kiss my husband and hug him tight! And ask that he remember just because I'm "at home" doesn't mean I can run whatever errand or make whatever phone calls he needs tended to. I have a full-time job too. Time along to (a) plan and a separate time to (b) regroup, refresh, and re-energize. Even now, not HS-ing, I take time every week or two to just go to Starbucks and do whatever I want - meal plan, read a book, stare into space. It helps. It's only an hour or two, but it's golden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Seriously, though, I think it's sweet that your dh would ask that. I would like for my dh to be a sounding board for my ideas and to patiently listen to the plans I have made and make suggestions for anything that he thinks is over the top, or anything he thinks may be missing. :iagree: My dh does this (in addition to other things to help) and it is awesome. He trusts me to research and decide what's best. I trust him to help me if I need a sounding board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I'm still trying to formulate an answer. If your spouse posed this question, how would you respond? We're only just starting out, but from my experience as a homeschool graduate, the role of homeschool mom is something I'm still trying to figure out. Thoughts? Be understanding that homeschooling means that I am working a full day job. Realize that when you ask the kids questions and they can't answer, it may make me feel like a failure. Be willing to be a sounding board when I need to talk through a change in what we're using. (I'm super blessed that my dh has talked me into some things like DVDs for Latin and out of some others, like TOG, which I would have tweaked so much it wouldn't have been worth spending money on.) Be a solid front with family, friends and neighbors. If you have doubts, don't air them outside our family because they may come back to haunt us. Be willing to take an interest in the kids and spend lots of time with them. Teaching my kids means that I am both loving mom and demanding teacher and this can make me feel like I'm in the role of "bad cop". It means a lot to have dh/dad also demanding respectful, polite and non-lazy attitudes and behavior. My dh has been helpful in different ways at different times. For several years, he kept up the scheduling for Rosetta Stone lessons (older version where you had to pick the lesson and format order). Other times he would take Saturday morning and teach a math lesson. He used to write up funny but challenging "Dad math" sheets for the kids when we traveled. He wrote and illustrated little beginning readers starting my son's favorite childhood toy. Now I'm looking to him to help the kids do better at their writing (one of dh's talents), complete scouting projects and learn to better manage their time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I'm still trying to formulate an answer. If your spouse posed this question, how would you respond? We're only just starting out, but from my experience as a homeschool graduate, the role of homeschool mom is something I'm still trying to figure out. Thoughts? By always making sure there's a full pot of coffee made before he leaves for work in the morning. And fresh bread made for sandwiches so I don't have to scramble for lunches (he runs the bread maker). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breffe Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I would definitely ask him to realize that homeschooling is a full time job and because of it the house will probably suffer, as will the laundry etc. He needs to realize that you have *both* worked all day and it would make the evening go by much smoother if he helps clean up and get the kids down for bed. Also time away from home without the kids is a big thing. You will get burned out by being with them all the time with no break. Even the most well intentioned mother needs a break! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 #1 - Enable you to have down time and time to plan. (He has to watch the kids for this.) #2 - Present a united front on all discipline, in school-time and out. The kids need to know they are going to answer to Daddy if they don't behave for Mommy (it goes both ways in our home btw). #3 - Be interested in what the kids are learning. When my dc do a great job on something, they save it for Daddy to see. This is a fantastic motivator b/c Daddy is always so proud.:001_smile: #4 - Read to the kids whenever he has the chance...something non-schoolish. (This can be combined with #1) #5 - Play games with the kids. (This can also be combined with #1) #6 - Provide the $, so you can devote your time to HSing. (He already does this, but deserves the :hurray: for it. ) #7 - Understand you are working a FT job, without a paycheck. You can't do 10 things at the same time and do any of it well, so you'll have to prioritize. On days you do a lot of schoolwork, there may not be much time left for housework and cooking. #8 - Recognize burn-out and employ #1, #4, and #5 as needed. #9 - Buy you lots of chocolate. #10 - Something about tea....where is that thread....:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Pay for a cleaning lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 How sweet that he would ask. You've been given some excellent suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Ditto to everything already mentioned. Another biggie here is that my dh provides stable and regular funding for home school materials. We agreed on a budget amount when we started 6 years ago ($100 a month--about what we paid for dd's preschool). Every paycheck money is deposited into a separate account just for homeschooling. Even if we're having a tight month, I can buy home school materials when I want to because it comes from a different bucket. It's really nice to be able to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Teaching my kids means that I am both loving mom and demanding teacher and this can make me feel like I'm in the role of "bad cop". It means a lot to have dh/dad also demanding respectful, polite and non-lazy attitudes and behavior. This. And spa days. :tongue_smilie: One thing that my dh has done that has been tremendously helpful was assuming responsiblity for the boys' karate class. He takes the class with them, makes sure they have their gis, coordinates test and equipment details. I just drop them off on Thursdays (we're out that afternoon) and wash the gis when they magically appear on the washer. I hadn't realized what a burden it had been (though it was undertaken willingly! :) ) until the load was lifted. Having Dad take care of an extra-curricular activity gives me a break and allows him to be a part of their schedules. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Take the kids out for a whole day every month or so so you can have a day to unwind etc. My Dh does this and I feel so rejuvenated afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 My response would be.."Since out of the two of us you actually took College Algebra and I have never taken any type of algebra, you could teach that." " You could actually listen to why I need to buy something not just assume that I'm spending money hand over fist." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 For me, it would be Sounding board. "Which writing program do you think would be best for dd7? You read these reviews and give me your opinion." Give me time for professional training - homeschool conferences, retreats, time to read up on new ideas/curricula. So many of these other things he already does! Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'd ask him to read some books on homeschooling. More than one. Then maybe he'll understand where I'm coming from in a number of areas (philosophy, technique, 'how do you know that they're learning what they need,' that it's ok to take this day or that day off--they're learning on other days or in the afternoons or on weekends, etc.). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm still trying to formulate an answer. If your spouse posed this question, how would you respond? We're only just starting out, but from my experience as a homeschool graduate, the role of homeschool mom is something I'm still trying to figure out. Thoughts? Since your kids are under 4, I would ask hubby to read some classics with me, and discuss them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 am I the only one here who would be highly offended at a question worded that way? "Are you saying I need to improve as a homeschooling mother?!?!" Assuming I am way off on the intention of the question, if my dh were looking for additional ways to help me, here's what I would like: - a bigger budget for literature, extra curriculars, the fun stuff that I tend to put off to save money - a weekly housekeeper - him to ask the kids about their school work when he gets home, maybe get excited with them about doing a science project or something - him to leave for work later so he could get the kids started on schoolwork while I sleep in - the occasional spa day, once a month or so oughta do it. :) That's a dream list though.... really I have no complaints in this area. My husband does help out with grocery shopping and is extremely supportive of homeschooling, in fact when I have occasionally wanted to look into schools he says no way, how could it be better than what you're doing at home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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