I am shaking right now...

[2squared]

Well, I agree that they are a complete PITA to push around the store, especially with the added weight of a few children

 

:iagree: I only use those huge carts in the middle of the day when the stores are empty. My oldest still have to walk.

 

What else can you do when you have two children that are too small to walk?

 

I put my baby in a carrier and my 2yo in the front of one cart. The 8yo & 6yo push the grocery carts - yes, two carts. I walk and have the 4yo grab things since I can't bend very well while carrying the baby. It's a circus, but it works. If you meet us, you'll notice us.

[mommaduck]

Well, I agree that they are a complete PITA to push around the store, especially with the added weight of a few children, but I use them every single week. What else can you do when you have two children that are too small to walk?

Let's see, I've put a baby in a sling and a toddler in the seat or I've put one toddler in the seat and one in the back. If I need more room, I taught the toddler to hold my skirt, walk, not touch, and stay with me.

 

You have a 4yr old and a 1yr old per your signature. The 1yr old in the cart and the 4yr old can either hold the cart and walk or hold a siblings hand, etc. 4yr olds are not to young to walk in a store, imo. Then again, it's your 4yr old and there may be particular circumstances that I'm unaware of. I just know that those big things irritate me, especially as a mom of many that manages to get around stores with all my kids in tow and not taking up so much space as to block other people, something I'm always very conscious of.

Edited December 18, 2010 by mommaduck

[mommaduck]

I put my baby in a carrier and my 2yo in the front of one cart. The 8yo & 6yo push the grocery carts - yes, two carts. I walk and have the 4yo grab things since I can't bend very well while carrying the baby. It's a circus, but it works. If you meet us, you'll notice us.

Sounds like us at times. You find ways to make it work and everyone learns to work together.

[unsinkable]

*Has visions of cart corrals, sliced peanut butter, and crock pots and runs away.*

 

PS I do realize I am inciting violence by the use of an Oxford comma, but I needed one!

 

How dorky would I sound if said I thought the Oxford comma was pretty? :confused:

[Joy at Home]

Let's see, I've put a baby in a sling and a toddler in the seat or I've put one toddler in the seat and one in the back. If I need more room, I taught the toddler to hold my skirt, walk, not touch, and stay with me.

 

You have a 4yr old and a 1yr old per your signature. The 1yr old in the cart and the 4yr old can either hold the cart and walk or hold a siblings hand, etc. 4yr olds are not to young to walk in a store, imo. Then again, it's your 4yr old and there may be particular circumstances that I'm unaware of. I just know that those big things irritate me, especially as a mom of many that manages to get around stores with all my kids in tow and not taking up so much space as to block other people, something I'm always very conscious of.

 

What, there's a problem with the car carts now? I find it easier to keep track of my kids and keep them out of the isle if they're sitting in the cart. It is made to take up one side of the isle, so other carts can pass.

 

I am starting to see self-righteousness reminiscent of the "do you return your shopping cart" thread. Now we are bashing moms for using the kid carts:confused:

 

Lisa (who goes shopping with a car cart, mini-cart, and a wheelchair child and still manages to stay out of people's way - most of the time:D)

[Pretty in Pink]

Hmm. I used to put the baby in a sling and my then 2 or 3yo in the cart. The baby is now two and half. He weighs a third of my body weight. I can no longer wear him comfortably! LOL

 

My 4yo requires constant supervision. He will hold onto the basket, but he is distractable. I can shop this way, as in, I am capable of doing so. It is not an impossibility. It just takes twice as long. I can be in and out in an hour if I put two in the basket. It's just easier for me this way.

 

Of course, our aisles are fairly wide. I've never had a problem with anyone not being able to get around me. They do require extra room when taking the corners though, much like a school bus. :tongue_smilie:

[unsinkable]

Often I wait for people in an aisle simply out of courtesy to them, especially mothers with young children and elderly. In our hurried world, I like to think that people might appreciate someone who is patient.

 

I'm not shy ;), but I don't know that I would have got into it with the mom the OP encountered though. When a stranger lays a rude comment on you in a situation like that, it's not as if it's a teachable moment and anything I say is going to make a difference. It might make me feel better about venting my frustration, but it just wouldn't seem worth inviting an escalation in public with a stranger over.

 

I find it so annoying when I am waiting for an elderly person to move and someone behind me goes whipping around me with a sheesh! attitude and then almost barrels into the elderly person in front of me.

 

Makes me wish I can apparate.

 

This usually happens while exiting the store.

[mommaduck]

What, there's a problem with the car carts now? I find it easier to keep track of my kids and keep them out of the isle if they're sitting in the cart. It is made to take up one side of the isle, so other carts can pass.

 

I am starting to see self-righteousness reminiscent of the "do you return your shopping cart" thread. Now we are bashing moms for using the kid carts:confused:

 

Lisa (who goes shopping with a car cart, mini-cart, and a wheelchair child and still manages to stay out of people's way - most of the time:D)

Not carts, not the mini mall car strollers...the HUGE CARS that are in front of a large shopping cart. I'm not judging mothers that choose to use them. I am simply saying that *to me* I find them irritating. Difficult to use and the one time I tried using one, I realised just how much it inconvenienced other customers as well and have refused to use them since. When I'm pregnant, having a hard time breathing, and then find I have to back track all the way around an aisle to get to where I need to go because of those things...yes, I think I can be irritated by their existence and use. When I've seen people that are in electric carts because of their health not be able to get through an aisle because of an oversized "toy". I'm sorry, I just see them as the most inconvenient things stores came up with. I can see minimal usage of the ones where the extra children sit in front for special needs children, but the regular use for a child that can sit in the front of a cart (many times I see them used with people that only have one small child that could sit in the front of the cart) or a child that is plenty old enough to walk, etc.

[Lolly]

Well, I agree that they are a complete PITA to push around the store, especially with the added weight of a few children, but I use them every single week. What else can you do when you have two children that are too small to walk?

 

I'm another one who used to use two carts. One for the kids and one for groceries. Then, I'd be frantic trying to make sure none of the kids fell out of the cart. I gotta say that I was ever so relieved when my store got a buggy that could hold 3 easily. When I was down to just ds, they got the car on front. I used it too. Ds was a climber who I was sure was going to fall out of the seat. He was so happy in the little car pretending to drive. And, if he did fall out of it, it was really close to the ground!!! I see the point in the stores having them. I can guarantee that my crew took up less space in an aisle using those huge contraptions than walking!

[mommaduck]

Hmm. I used to put the baby in a sling and my then 2 or 3yo in the cart. The baby is now two and half. He weighs a third of my body weight. I can no longer wear him comfortably! LOL

 

My 4yo requires constant supervision. He will hold onto the basket, but he is distractable. I can shop this way, as in, I am capable of doing so. It is not an impossibility. It just takes twice as long. I can be in and out in an hour if I put two in the basket. It's just easier for me this way.

 

Of course, our aisles are fairly wide. I've never had a problem with anyone not being able to get around me. They do require extra room when taking the corners though, much like a school bus. :tongue_smilie:

I think this is key also. I've noticed them more when the store and aisles are small...and that may be my irritation. It's more of a, in this store, with these aisles, with how many customers are in the store, "is this going to inconvenience others" comes into play in the deciding factor. In BIG (aka Sam's, Costco) stores, I'm not as bothered, because there IS room. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

tolerate (ˈtɒləˌreɪt) [Click for IPA pronunciation guide]

 

— vb

1. to treat with indulgence, liberality, or forbearance

2. to permit

3. to be able to bear; put up with

 

Unless other people's actions are actually hurting me or someone else or breaking a law, it seems better to tolerate things with a smile or at least with patience. Also, "A soft answer turns away wrath." If someone snaps at you unnecessarily, you don't have to engage or if you do, you can deflect it by being gentle in response. I have responded in kind and at times overreacted, but I've found that I always regret it when I do.

 

My dd and I went out for dinner last night. We were put next to a young couple who did not train their little toddler in the way that I would at all. That little boy was climbing on the booth behind my dd, was crawling on top of the table which was only 2 feet from our table etc. I started to grit my teeth and would have shot a glare over there but then I glanced at my dd. She was smiling tolerantly and was so gracious. We actually had a nice dinner because I decided to follow her example and let go of my own irritation. (That and we were almost done with our dinner.;))

[LibraryLover]

Wait. Let's not do this. "Well I *carry* my baby, so you should too" stuff. What about people who cant' carry? They should stay home, I know, or send their partners to the store, or get a babysitter for the kids...whatever.

 

MAybe just go with it. Big cars or not.

 

Personally, I have never seen those big cars as an issue. I think they are cute. Shopping with kids is hard sometimes, even when you have one child tied on your front, and one child tied on your back, and two children tethered with Monkey backpacks. Oh! Forget I said Monkey backpacks. I know a lot of people hate those, too.

 

The list of things we complain about...my goodness...it's a wonder some of us ever leave the house at all. So it takes 2-10 extra minutes to grocery shop?

 

Smile at the cars, smile at the mommies...just smile. Tell the mommy how cute her kids are. How hard is this?

 

My participation in the stupid cart thread humbled me quite a bit...who the heck cares. Poor mommies. We can't catch a break no matter what we do.

Edited December 18, 2010 by LibraryLover

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Smile at the cars, smile at the mommies...just smile. Tell the mommy how cute her kids are. How hard is this?

 

 

 

:iagree:

[unsinkable]

I always thought the stores had the child-friendly stuff so the parents would stay and shop longer. :confused:

 

I think aisles aren't wide enough to actually SHOP. Maybe it's me.

[Joy at Home]

Wait. Let's not do this. "Well I *carry* my baby, so you should too" stuff. What about people who cant' carry? They should stay home, I know, or send their partners to the store, or get a babysitter for the kids...whatever.

 

MAybe just go with it. Big cars or not.

 

Personally, I have never seen those big cars as an issue. I think they are cute. Shopping with kids is hard sometimes, even when you have one child tied on your front, and one child tied on your back, and two children tethered with Monkey backpacks. Oh! Forget I said Monkey backpacks. I know a lot of people hate those, too.

 

The list of things we complain about...my goodness...it's a wonder some of us ever leave the house at all. So it takes 2-10 extra minutes to grocery shop?

 

Smile at the cars, smile at the mommies...just smile. Tell the mommy how cute her kids are. How hard is this?

 

My participation in the stupid cart thread humbled me quite a bit...who the heck cares. Poor mommies. We can't catch a break no matter what we do.

 

 

:iagree: Amen, sister.

[mommaduck]

Smile at the cars, smile at the mommies...just smile. Tell the mommy how cute her kids are. How hard is this?

 

My participation in the stupid cart thread humbled me quite a bit...who the heck cares. Poor mommies. We can't catch a break no matter what we do.

Can't smile when I'm just trying to breathe from having to walk all the way back down an aisle to go around just to get to the other end of an aisle when the aisle is being blocked by a car. You're right, mommies can't catch a break, but it's nice when mommies try to make shopping easy for everyone around them, including other mommies.

 

A huge plastic car may make YOUR trip shorter by ten minutes, but when it makes other people's shopping trip longer by 10-20min because of having to find alternate routes around your plastic car (and I mean in stores where these kinds of things take up the entire width of the aisle, not Sam's or Costco), then I really don't care that it saved that one person 10min. Again, *I* personally have chosen not to use them because I find them to be discourteous to others in *particular stores*. If others feel that they are entiled to inconvenience others so they can shorten their shopping trip by 10min, then that's their opinion and their choice. I'm simply inclined to disagree.

 

Others have the right to enjoy the use of them. I have the right to dislike the use of them.

Edited December 18, 2010 by mommaduck

[Joy at Home]

Can't smile when I'm just trying to breathe from having to walk all the way back down an aisle to go around just to get to the other end of an aisle when the aisle is being blocked by a car. You're right, mommies can't catch a break, but it's nice when mommies try to make shopping easy for everyone around them, including other mommies.

 

A huge plastic car may make YOUR trip shorter by ten minutes, but when it makes other people's shopping trip longer by 10-20min because of having to find alternate routes around your plastic car (and I mean in stores where these kinds of things take up the entire width of the aisle, not Sam's or Costco), then I really don't care that it saved that one person 10min. Again, *I* personally have chosen not to use them because I find them to be discourteous to others in *particular stores*. If others feel that they are entiled to inconvenience others so they can shorten their shopping trip by 10min, then that's their opinion and their choice. I'm simply inclined to disagree.

 

Others have the right to enjoy the use of them. I have the right to dislike the use of them.

 

I just didn't realize there were stores with car carts that couldn't accomodate them. I would think that is a flaw in the store's decision to carry those carts if they couldn't fit in their "lane". I could see the frustration if a car cart in your isle prevented you from passing, and I would think the store would need to reevaluate their use of these carts, honestly. Either have isle that accomodates the flow of traffic with all carts, or get rid of the ones that don't fit.

[mommaduck]

I just didn't realize there were stores with car carts that couldn't accomodate them. I would think that is a flaw in the store's decision to carry those carts if they couldn't fit in their "lane". I could see the frustration if a car cart in your isle prevented you from passing, and I would think the store would need to reevaluate their use of these carts, honestly. Either have isle that accomodates the flow of traffic with all carts, or get rid of the ones that don't fit.

Exactly. Like I said, I'm not annoyed by them or overly notice them in stores that can accommodate them. And my annoyance is with the item, it's use, and the particular places I've seen them used, not the parents themselves (other than perhaps the unwise use of them for that particular sized store). People made a bigger deal out of my annoyance of an ITEM than should have been made.

[Lolly]

Can't smile when I'm just trying to breathe from having to walk all the way back down an aisle to go around just to get to the other end of an aisle when the aisle is being blocked by a car. You're right, mommies can't catch a break, but it's nice when mommies try to make shopping easy for everyone around them, including other mommies.

 

A huge plastic car may make YOUR trip shorter by ten minutes, but when it makes other people's shopping trip longer by 10-20min because of having to find alternate routes around your plastic car (and I mean in stores where these kinds of things take up the entire width of the aisle, not Sam's or Costco), then I really don't care that it saved that one person 10min. Again, *I* personally have chosen not to use them because I find them to be discourteous to others in *particular stores*. If others feel that they are entiled to inconvenience others so they can shorten their shopping trip by 10min, then that's their opinion and their choice. I'm simply inclined to disagree.

 

Others have the right to enjoy the use of them. I have the right to dislike the use of them.

 

If the store has aisles that small, you should speak to the management about discontinuing the use of those buggies. I believe most grocery stores today can easily handle these car/carts. Or, look into shopping in a different store.

[Jean in Newcastle]

:seeya::seeya::seeya::seeya::seeya: Smiling and waving.

[simka2]

:seeya::seeya::seeya::seeya::seeya: Smiling and waving.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[mommaduck]

If the store has aisles that small, you should speak to the management about discontinuing the use of those buggies. I believe most grocery stores today can easily handle these car/carts. Or, look into shopping in a different store.

In city stores, you either have small aisle or large numbers of people, neither of which is accommodating. That said, the stores most likely to have it as a problem, would be the stores that, if they had the population of the outlying towns, would be able to accommodate them, but due to the area and the amount of people, it doesn't. So yes, bad planning.

[Soror]

I think it is better to say excuse me. If you are standing there getting annoyed then it really defeats the purpose of trying to stand and be patient. I don't notice people just standing there a lot of times. Perhaps she or the kids didn't notice you either. I think it is better to assume the best. Obviously what she said was rude though. If somebody was just staring me down I would have felt similar- if I felt that someone was just waiting nicely I would have apologized.

 

I often block the aisle. I don't mean to- it drives my husband crazy when he shops with me. I am trying to be more attentive, really I am. I despise car carts but I do sometimes let the kids in them. I didn't realize it is now considered a mommy sin to do so. Cannot win I guess. I do try to be friendly to all when out shopping though, only way to make it through it!

[simka2]

I think it is better to say excuse me. If you are standing there getting annoyed then it really defeats the purpose of trying to stand and be patient. I don't notice people just standing there a lot of times. Perhaps she or the kids didn't notice you either. I think it is better to assume the best. Obviously what she said was rude though. If somebody was just staring me down I would have felt similar- if I felt that someone was just waiting nicely I would have apologized.

 

I often block the aisle. I don't mean to- it drives my husband crazy when he shops with me. I am trying to be more attentive, really I am. I despise car carts but I do sometimes let the kids in them. I didn't realize it is now considered a mommy sin to do so. Cannot win I guess. I do try to be friendly to all when out shopping though, only way to make it through it!

 

Awwwww...don't worry! Personally, if I can turn that land yacht into an aisle...the aisle is wide enough ;)!

 

Not only that....but the very fact we live in a country where people can walk around an aisle and little kids get the pleasure of riding in chart their size is wonderful!!!!

[mommaduck]

I didn't realize it is now considered a mommy sin to do so.

Please reread all my posts on the matter...I don't consider it a "mommy sin" as others have tried to imply. I consider the ITEM an annoyance and discourteous *under certain circumstances* that I deal with as I don't live in a country town with limited population or shop at stores with HUGE aisles like Sam's or Costco (as I've stated over and over and over....).

 

AGAIN FOR THE LAST TIME: my annoyance was with an item, due to my own experience. I NEVER said that someone was a "bad mommy" for using the item. Unwise usage under the circumstances of certain stores, yes. Annoyance at item...not "bad mommy".

Edited December 18, 2010 by mommaduck

[simka2]

I just got into an argument with a female at the grocery store. She was walking past the aisle and her three little ones pushing their own little mini carts were blocking the aisle. So I stood there and waited. Dd's were both at my sides. She stood there waiting for them but didn't say anything at first. They were in a "traffic jam" and she finally told them to move out of the way for "the lady". I swear I wasn't going to say anything - I just smiled at them all. After they moved, she said, "If you just would have said excuse me, they would have moved for you", in a really snotty voice. I said, "Their your kids, that's your job to teach them, not mine." It went down from there. I finally told her "talk to the hand lady" and walked off.

 

Apparently, we are all supposed to put up with her rude children though she had the audacity to think she had the right to teach me manners. I can't tell you how many times I've said "excuse me" in the grocery store and people look at me like I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead. So now I just smile and wait.

 

Just needed to vent. I hate confrontations and will never usually start one, but I sure won't back away from one either. I go out of my way to be kind to people and I just don't understand why some people think we are all here to bow down to them.

 

 

Sorry you went thru that!!!!

 

After moving to a larger city I decided it was just better to go around the blocked aisle. Plus, I get more of a workout!!! :D

[DarlaS]

I completely agree. As you said, holdoll, people look at you crossly for saying "Excuse me," too. You can't win when people are rude.

 

:iagree:

 

Or when everything you do is about them. If you say "excuse me" you're being rude and impatient. If you wait patiently, that's passive aggressive. :confused:

 

I intend to keep waiting (if time allows) and if someone thinks I'm being rude, I'll clarify for them what it looks like when I am rude. It's the least I can do since I wouldn't want there to be any confusion there. :D ("I'll stand here and wait if I d@mn well please, and I think YOU'RE rude if you think you need to tell ME how to spend my time!!")

 

As for mini-carts, I can count on one hand the times my kids have ever used them (and that would include those cumbersome truck/cart dealies that turn ordinary shopping carts into even more difficult to maneuver ride on toys). Anyone old enough to push one is old enough to understand that they do not get to be entertained every minute. (Also, I was never good at dealing with the stress of keeping a preschooler from breaking little old ladies' ankles with the darn things.)

[goldberry]

Smile at the cars, smile at the mommies...just smile. Tell the mommy how cute her kids are. How hard is this?

 

Poor mommies. We can't catch a break no matter what we do.

 

:iagree:

 

There are so many things in life to get annoyed about. But why would I want to waste my energy getting annoyed about those smaller things? Heaven knows I have little enough energy as it is!

 

Of course I have encountered people blocking the aisles. It just never occured to me to give it more than a passing thought while waiting for them to move.

 

The OP is a different story since the woman somewhat antagonized her. But otherwise, who even thinks about it? Strange thread. I came by to see why it lasted so long and I still don't get it.

[DarlaS]

What, there's a problem with the car carts now?

 

They bug me--but only when I'm the one that has to push them! :tongue_smilie:Those things are worse than a cheapo stroller.

 

It's all in how the user handles it. I find it annoying when the kids randomly hop in and out unpredictably all around the store. The few times I used one, I made sure my kids stayed IN it. Kinda defeats the purpose otherwise.

 

Of course if grocery stores didn't have tons of stupid cardboard displays all over, there would be more room for their customers to maneuver. Let's blame them! :D

[simka2]

They bug me--but only when I'm the one that has to push them! :tongue_smilie:Those things are worse than a cheapo stroller.

 

It's all in how the user handles it. I find it annoying when the kids randomly hop in and out unpredictably all around the store. The few times I used one, I made sure my kids stayed IN it. Kinda defeats the purpose otherwise.

 

Of course if grocery stores didn't have tons of stupid cardboard displays all over, there would be more room for their customers to maneuver. Let's blame them! :D

 

 

This made me laugh!!! When I was little many of my friends had those ride in cars. When I had kids...their friends did, and we really couldn't afford them. So the first time I saw those car charts I was so happy for my kiddo's!!! They got such a thrill out of them.

 

I personally hate pushing them. But there is nothing like the bright shiny eyes of my 5yr old do make me give in :D!

[Stacy in NJ]

*Has visions of cart corrals, sliced peanut butter, and crock pots and runs away.*

 

PS I do realize I am inciting violence by the use of an Oxford comma, but I needed one!

 

In the name of consistency, shouldn't it be: "Has visions of cart corrals, sliced peanut butter, crockpots, and runs away."

 

P.S. Should that last period (in my sentence) be inside or outside the quotation mark and should it be instead a question mark?

 

 

Oh, the humanity.

[Stacy in NJ]

BUT... this touches on one of my biggest pet peeves. I can't stand when someone wants someone to do something and doesn't just ask. Somehow, not saying anything directly has come to be seen as more polite in our society when I actually find it to be quite rude. I think this sort of passive aggressive behavior is becoming so ingrained into people that they don't even realize how what seems obvious to them (hey, I'm standing here smiling tightly and tapping my foot waiting for you!) isn't obvious at all to the rest of us (oh, that lady looks like she can't remember what she came down this aisle for because she's just standing there looking confused!).

 

That said, I would have been apologizing for my kids. I'm always apologizing for my children in supermarkets. I should just get cards printed up that say, "Sorry if my children made your grocery shopping experience unpleasant."

 

One of my favorite things is watching Southerners or Mid-westerners order in a NYC deli. They stand passively waiting for the counter person to ask them what they want. Of course, the locals completely ignore them and jump the line. The out-of-towner stands there fuming, saying nothing until they explode or stomp off. In NYC, to get what you want, you need to SPEAK UP. :lol:

[Mom2J112903]

One of my favorite things is watching Southerners or Mid-westerners order in a NYC deli. They stand passively waiting for the counter person to ask them what they want. Of course, the locals completely ignore them and jump the line. The out-of-towner stands there fuming, saying nothing until they explode or stomp off. In NYC, to get what you want, you need to SPEAK UP. :lol:

 

Oh my, I could never do this! I find it very rude just to start ordering without being acknowledged first. Yes, I am a Southerner but I have lived other places and still this is just wrong to me. I guess I wouldn't last long in NYC, huh? :tongue_smilie:

 

What gets me, and I understand J doesn't *look* sick but he is not as strong as your normal 7yr old, when I have him grocery shopping and I have one of those mammoth carts. I don't drive well, so forgive me, and don't say under your breath "well he should be walking". Don't make assumptions, ask nicely, say excuse me, you never know what that person has been thru that day. Don't think the person that you need to move will see you. Say excuse me, thank you and go on about your bussiness :)

[MomOfOneFunOne]

One of my favorite things is watching Southerners or Mid-westerners order in a NYC deli. They stand passively waiting for the counter person to ask them what they want. Of course, the locals completely ignore them and jump the line. The out-of-towner stands there fuming, saying nothing until they explode or stomp off. In NYC, to get what you want, you need to SPEAK UP. :lol:

 

WHAT????? I would starve in NYC! Please let me never end up there!

 

Yankee Dimes and New York Minutes are coming to mind.

 

I need a julep.

[tex-mex]

I get what you are saying. I consider myself responsible for making sure my kids are not in others' way in a store. For example, when they start walking in a horizontal line through the aisle, I remind them to follow behind me so that they don't block the aisle.

 

And seriously? Three mini carts. Can someone say, "Just be bored at the store and live?" :lol:

:iagree: Those mini carts can be hazardous! I always see little ones running with the mini cart -- I don't blame them. It is fun. But def up to the parents to supervise the recklessness of toddlers/children.

[Cricket]

Trying not to step into this specific situation too much because... well... goodness there have been some harsh words for the poor OP.

 

BUT... this touches on one of my biggest pet peeves. I can't stand when someone wants someone to do something and doesn't just ask. Somehow, not saying anything directly has come to be seen as more polite in our society when I actually find it to be quite rude. I think this sort of passive aggressive behavior is becoming so ingrained into people that they don't even realize how what seems obvious to them (hey, I'm standing here smiling tightly and tapping my foot waiting for you!) isn't obvious at all to the rest of us (oh, that lady looks like she can't remember what she came down this aisle for because she's just standing there looking confused!).

 

That said, I would have been apologizing for my kids. I'm always apologizing for my children in supermarkets. I should just get cards printed up that say, "Sorry if my children made your grocery shopping experience unpleasant."

 

:iagree: I've been that lady with the three kids. Well, they didn't all have grocery carts but sometimes it is hard to keep three little kids corralled when grocery shopping. The woman was probably embarrassed that her kids were blocking the aisle and a little short-tempered already. I've had people stand and wait for my dc to move. Generally they have a disgusted look on their face and aren't waiting very sweetly. They wait until one child moves slightly and then try to dodge around them. Sometimes the kids get bumped by the cart because they aren't aware someone is behind them and step into the way. Children don't have eyes in the back of their heads. If I notice someone standing there, I apologize and get the children to move. A couple of times I've pointed out that if they had said "excuse me" my dc would have moved. But I've only done that if the person is rudely sighing and rolling their eyes. Children are people too. They have a right to be in the grocery aisle and have a right to be treated with respect. Now that my dc are older they are much more aware of people at the store. Many times I'm stuck behind children milling around. I just loudly and kindly say, "Excuse me!" and when they move (and they always have) I say "Thank you!"

 

This is a little pet peeve of mine and dh's too. No one says "excuse me" anymore. Some people are just irritated that you are taking up space in their area. :glare: At least that is how is comes across to me.

[Pretty in Pink]

Of course if grocery stores didn't have tons of stupid cardboard displays all over, there would be more room for their customers to maneuver. Let's blame them! :D

 

Isn't that the truth?!

[Cricket]

Of course if grocery stores didn't have tons of stupid cardboard displays all over, there would be more room for their customers to maneuver. Let's blame them! :D

 

YES! I hate those things! I'm really not a terrible grocery cart driver but I've knocked a couple of those. It's hard trying to get out of people's way, dodging milling children, moving over because of adults trying to squeeze past me, and avoiding on-coming traffic all while steering with one hand because the other hand is tending to the baby in my sling on the front!

[Paige]

What else can you do when you have two children that are too small to walk?

 

There was a time when I would only shop at stores with car carts. I had a 5yr old, 2 3yr olds, and an infant. I'd put the 5yr old in the front car part, the 3yr olds in the two seats up front, and the infant would be in a sling. Sure, I could have had the 5yr old walk, but either way the 3yr olds needed to be contained. One of them has an invisible orthopedic disability so walking was not a good choice, but at that age it wouldn't matter. They were soooo short that walking nicely beside me meant they would get knocked about by other careless shoppers.

 

Personally, I find that families that can stuff all the kids in the cart take up less space even with the big carts than do families with lots of walking littles. We've done the 2 shopping cart thing when there were no car carts and that is a lot harder and takes up more aisle space than 1 big cart. Not to mention, pushing one cart and pulling the other = poor driving and no ability to make smooth turns.

 

I may say excuse me or wait depending on my mood. I don't get the concept that people cannot speak to children as if they are people. I don't think it is my job to run interference between my children and every adult they encounter until they are 18! I won't be offended if someone says excuse me to them and I will say the same to any other child just as I would with an adult. I would apologize for them as they are not so quick with it themselves yet. If I'm in no hurry then I might wait patiently without getting snippy or I may decide it's easier to back out rather than wait or try to get their attention. I'm a petite woman and I find that even when I say excuse me, a lot of people don't notice me or treat me as if I were a child. I might have to tap them on the shoulder to say excuse me and get acknowledged and some people, I just don't want to touch kwim? I've never had someone that I did tap get upset at me for saying excuse me, however. People are usually either apologetic or distracted and just move without saying anything.

 

I don't get the big deal. Wait, say excuse me, or back out. It's not a big deal and no reason to get upset.

[ereks mom]

:iagree: You never know how someone is going to respond to anything you say/do. Many people also seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that they're out in the world amongst other humans. I call it "all about me syndrome", and it's everywhere. :glare:

 

:lol: Dh & I call it "nobody in the world but me syndrome". And you're right; it IS everywhere. :confused:

[indigomama]

I was in the store just the other night, by myself, and was so absorbed in reading labels (kiddos with dairy intolerances) that I didn't notice someone was waiting for me to move. When I did notice I quickly moved out of the way but they were already mad and huffy:confused:

 

It would have been so much easier had they just said "excuse me"!

[Mom2J112903]

I was in the store just the other night, by myself, and was so absorbed in reading labels (kiddos with dairy intolerances) that I didn't notice someone was waiting for me to move. When I did notice I quickly moved out of the way but they were already mad and huffy:confused:

 

It would have been so much easier had they just said "excuse me"!

 

BTDT, totally understand where you are coming from. I agree how hard is it to say "excuse me" :confused:

[lionfamily1999]

BTDT, totally understand where you are coming from. I agree how hard is it to say "excuse me" :confused:

I have gotten reamed out for saying "excuse me." It hasn't kept me from saying it, but at the time it did give me pause. It was a simple thing, we were shopping (the boys and I) and I needed to get down an aisle, but a lady was in the middle of the entrance to the aisle (iykwIm) squatting down. She covered most of the aisle. I waited a moment, and finally said, "excuse me" with a smile, like always. I'm not impatient, I just wanted to sort of alert her that we were waiting.

 

She spun around and freaked out. What, you can't wait five seconds while I look at something?!? You think you're more important than me?!? I should move, just because you're in such a rush?!?

 

Drew responded, "Jeez, my mom was being polite. Rude much?"

 

:blush:

 

That didn't help. But, when she turned her anger to him we just turned around and walked away to her yelling, "Yeah, you better walk away, you don't want to f--- with me, I'll beat the s--- out of you and your brats!"

 

But then the owner informed her the police were already called and she would do herself good to get the heck out of Dodge while the getting was good and to never come back.

[Amy loves Bud]

If someone is standing in the baking aisle, looking at all the honey there is to choose from, considering her purchase options, and trying to decide which honey is the right honey for her and then I come along, say "excuse me" and reach around her to get the honey I want, yep, kinda rude.

 

 

 

Really? If I'm sitting there reading labels and trying to figure out what I want, I fully expect someone to say excuse me and reach around to grab what they want. Why should my indecision hold up their shopping? I am a major label reader and I would really hate it for that to happen.

[Amy loves Bud]

Some thoughts after reading all of these posts:

 

1. You didn't do anything wrong. You waited patiently which, as a mother of a young one, I appreciate. Saying excuse me would have been appropriate, too. Sometimes you can't win.

 

2. I hate the mini-shopping carts. Romy loves them. I will NOT let her use one when the store is crowded, and when we go at a quieter time I make sure to keep her right next to me the entire time. If I couldn't manage my shopping and keeping her out of the way of other people at the same time, we would not use the minicarts at all. I would love it if the grocery stores would just get rid of them all together.

 

P.S. I don't usually cuss, but getting rammed in the heel with one of those #$%#@ carts has been known to coax a four-letter word from my lips.

 

3 (in which I get flamed).If I had three children all in the age range that use these carts, I would probably only let one of them use a cart per trip. I don't see how it would be possible to keep yourself, your own full size cart, plus three small children and three mini-carts out of the way of the other shoppers. It's pretty inconsiderate to the other shoppers.

 

I do think it is best to just be polite regardless of how inconsiderate others are. Smile and let it roll on by. There are not enough hours in a day to let those kind of people affect you. Now if I could just put that into practice more often, I'd be in good shape!

[OrganicAnn]

This whole thread reminds me a a phrase that one of my family member is fond of "You're d@mn if you do and d@mn if you don't". So no matter what you do, some people don't like it.

[Mom2J112903]

This whole thread reminds me a a phrase that one of my family member is fond of "You're d@mn if you do and d@mn if you don't". So no matter what you do, some people don't like it.

 

Very true indeed.

[Lara in Colo]

I have something to add to the 'saying excuse me' point of view.

 

When I have time I will wait patiently for the person to notice me and if this takes too long, I will say excuse me, wait for them to move and say thank you!

 

There are many, many times when someone says "excuse me" WHILE they are moving through my space. I find that some people use excuse me as permission to be rude and just bully their way though people. A lot of times, they don't make eye contact or even see if the person has moved. What if I can't move quick enough to avoid you hurting me? I find this most offensive.

 

You can also tell if someone is patiently waiting for you are being passive agressive by looking at their facial expression.

 

Lara

[Lolly]

I would like to congragulate Holdoll who has managed to come up with a controversial post with less than 500 posts to her name. You can just never know....:D

 

 

:party: :party: :party:

[LivingUnderGrace]

:D I just realized that I am actually reading this post when I really don't even have the time. :001_huh:

 

:lol: