Do your children give you Christmas gifts?

[Cinder]

Do they give gifts to their siblings? I'm talking about minor children here; I don't mean adult children. If yes, are they handmade or store bought? If store bought, do you give them money for shopping?

 

The reason I'm asking is that one family we know gives each of their kids a certain amount of money to buy gifts for the other members of the family. I don't know all the details of this. I only found out because one of their kids told one of our kids, and now said kid thinks our family should adopt this tradition as well.

 

FWIW, Dh and I aren't planning to participate in this kind of tradition. We surely don't need more stuff. And really, I'd be happier being given a pack of gum that a child had saved his pennies for. In the past ds1 has given me coupons for help around the house. Loved it! I think ds2 wants to give gifts, but he isn't willing to sacrifice out of his own earnings to do so.

 

Anyway, this whole concept got me a little curious. What do other families do?

 

Cinder

[linders]

DS7 and DS10 either make gifts or use their own money (saved from allowance or birthday money) and choose the gifts (sometimes with hilarious results). We use family gift-giving as a tool for teaching about putting themselves in another's shoes, thinking about what another person is interested in and likes. For example, when they were planning to go in together on a Lego set for DH, we talked about just how much Daddy actually plays with Legos (not) and whether perhaps they were thinking of themselves too much.

 

Every family needs to decide gift-giving traditions for themselves, but I must say that the rather tacky "Fluffy Blue Dog" slippers DS insisted on getting me a few years ago because "Mommy likes fluffy things and likes dogs and likes the color blue," became a precious family story.

[Princess Peach]

My kids started a tradition all by themselves two years ago. They pick out a few things of their own and give them to their siblings. They try to pick things they know the others want. They get really excited about it! They each already have the others' things boxed and ready to be wrapped for this year.

 

As for us, they usually do the same thing! LOL! So DH and I usually get matchbox cars and things. :001_smile: I usually have the kids do something for DH. Like last year, I got him a mug from Starbucks that had a special marker with it that the kids were able to write on. He loves that mug!

[RahRah]

I help DS make a gift for DH....he decides what he'd like to make and then we work on making it happen.

 

Last year he wanted to make DH a pencil/pen holder for his desk....we went to the ceramics place and he picked on, painted it and we had it fired. DH loved it.

 

This year DS wants to make DH a picture frame and picked the picture he'd like to give DH of him and daddy doing something that was fun earlier in the year....for that we're using a foam frame and he'll be decorating it in a theme that matches the picture background.

 

DH, on the other hand, takes DS out to shop for me.....let's him pick something he'd like to give me and DS contributes from his savings toward whatever that is. DH doesn't try to sway what he picks....so last year DS decided I'd like a LEGO set (LOL) so that's what I got :lol: - it was fun to work on it together with DS, so even though I kind of laugh about it, it was special.

[Crissy]

My boys buy my husband and me Christmas gifts from money they have saved throughout the year. If they need a little help because they chose something that went a few pennies over their budgets, we help.

 

Last year my son gave me a set of All-Clad measuring spoons. He was short a dollar and some change so my husband paid the difference. Otherwise they pay for the gifts they choose to buy.

[Garga]

Our kids just started getting an allowance in the past couple of months, so this is the first year they are getting us stuff with their own money.

 

Their allowances are very small, so Dh and I went in half with them on gifts. They bought DH some Jelly Bellies at $10 a bag, which meant they each contributed $2.50 and I contributed $5. They bought me a new wallet for the same price and same contributions.

 

I hadn't thought to ask them if they want to buy each other presents. I'll ask them today.

 

Last year they made gifts. (And I just realized we forgot to do this for the grandparents this year. Ugh. And I JUST mailed the package to my parents not 2 hours ago. Dang it. I hate having to mail presents. I always forget something and then have to mail another package. I think I'll have the kids write a poem and mail it in a regular envelope.)

[Nakia]

The years when we have enough money, Patrick and I take each other shopping (sometimes it happens after Christmas because this month is so busy!). I want a new purse this year, so Patrick will probably take me to TJMaxx so I can pick one out. He wants some new t-shirts, so we will head over to Bass Pro at some point to get some (or maybe order online). Then we will take the girls shopping for the other parent. We let them pick out a few things, usually less than $20 or so. And for each other, we go to Target or Walmart or whatever and let two of them pick out one small thing for the third. We tell them no more than $10. They make cards for us and each other too.

 

I have a homeschooling friend who has 7 children. They take their kids to a thrift store and let them pick out things for each other. I think that's a great idea. We just don't have a good selection of thrift stores around here. :glare:

[patchfire]

The kids go with dh to pick out a present for me, and vice versa. We pay for that, and it's typically something I/dh would have bought for the other anyway, so it's really just relabeling part of our gifts to each other, you could say.

 

Dd gets an allowance and chose to save up to buy her siblings & the pets each a Christmas gift. I doubt ds will be so enthusiastic when he is older. ;)

[tabrizia]

Mine are still young, so we do subsidize their purchases, that being said they come out with us and look for a gift for their sibling and one for both me and DH. DD is still a little young so gets some help in her choosing. DS however, picked out a doll for DD this year on his own and a video game for DH, he hasn't gone out with DH to get something for me yet, but he will probably pick it out on his own as well.

 

Once they get a bit older and actually have some money I will probably expect them to pay for half the gift on their own, but at the moment we pay for it since they don't have any money of their own.

[babysparkler]

We do a family trip to the dollar store and I give the kids $8 each to buy for 7 people (5 family plus Grandma & Grandpa). They can choose anything in the store since it is all marked at $1 and they even get to go up and pay for it at the register by themselves (with me close-by to help if necessary). They are so cute about hiding their baskets from one another when they walk the store:lol:. They always look forward to this shopping trip. When we get home they take turns wrapping (with some help from older siblings). Christmas morning is always adorable! They are so good at choosing special things for each person, and it brings me joy to see the excitement with which they give their specially chosen gifts :) I typically get some type of chocolate or kitchen utensil :lol: from each of them.

[Catwoman]

The kids go with dh to pick out a present for me, and vice versa. We pay for that, and it's typically something I/dh would have bought for the other anyway, so it's really just relabeling part of our gifts to each other, you could say.

 

We do that, too, although ds10 can choose to buy anything he wants for us. Fortunately, the kid has better taste than I do and seems to have a knack for picking out gifts, so it usually works out pretty well. Actually, when I'm trying to figure out what to buy dh for his birthday and Christmas gifts (both in December,) I always ask ds for ideas. :)

 

Cat

[Rivka]

My daughter is five, and for the first time this year we are going to have her choose presents for us and her little brother. We'll subsidize her until she's somewhat older. Right now I just want to encourage the idea that Christmas is for giving as well as receiving, and to give her some practice in choosing presents people will like. She is very excited and spends a lot of time thinking up ideas.

[Plucky]

My oldest now has money from his job and he is buying us (parents) gifts. I'd rather he save the money for college, but he is enjoying giving from the heart.

 

I talk to the younger kids about what they can get their dad and then I buy it. I think it is a nice token, and I know what dh likes. He takes the kids out and gets me something from them. I have asked that he avoid the dollar store though. I'd rather they get me a few pairs of cute socks, but invariably they will bring home some trinket I have to display. LOL

 

In the past, we did a drawing of names between the kids and they would buy a gift for each other. They really liked it, but it cost me more money. We aren't doing that this year.

[ereks mom]

When they were tykes, we gave them money and helped them pick out gifts, but as they got older, they began to contribute some, and now they save their own money throughout the year to buy gifts. My mom always gives us money for Christmas; when the kids were little, we mostly used it to buy Santa gifts for them, but now we divide it among the four of us and we use that to buy gifts for each other as well.

[T'smom]

I only have a 3 year old and a 4 month old, but I will be taking the 3 yo to buy gifts for his dad and sister and dh will take him to buy for me. We did this last year too. He picked out pink soft socks for me and a football piggy bank for dh. He's been looking at the wal-mart toy catalog and seems to think his sister wants a Barbie doggie bath. I'll try to steer him toward a stuffed amimal (They have really cute ones based on Eric Carle books at Tuesday Morning!) When they're older, I'll probably go the dollar store route and have them make something for each other too. We'll also do angel tree and those Christmas shoeboxes too. I want them to spend more time thinking about giving to others than what others are going to give to them.

One of my ideas (that will have to wait a few years) is to set up a Santa's Workshop one weekend day and have my kids and all their cousins (there are a lot!) to make gifts for everyone. I want to have little stations set up with the materials needed and the kids can decide what they want to make for each person on their list. Simple stuff like picture frames, handprints on t-shirts, pencil holders, christmas tree ornaments. Family Fun always has lots of ideas, as does Martha Stewart.

[missmoe]

My kids pick out gifts for each other and for mom and dad and whoever else is coming for Christmas. Some things are homemade, some things are dollar store, some things are used from a thrift shop, some things come from the mall. It all depends on their individual budget and what they find. This year, my MIL is getting a stuffed animal cat and a book about cats from my dd! :tongue_smilie:

 

One year my son bought himself a little tree from the dollar spot at Target---the rest of the kids made him ornaments for the tree.

 

One of my ds buys ear-rings for his older sister every year. It's become a tradition, now. We all look forward to seeing what he's going to find for her on his limited budget.

 

Our dd often makes stuffed animal clothes to give as gifts.

 

And yes, 7 presents per kid times 5 kids is alot! OUr tree is brimming with presents by the time Christmas comes and opening gifts takes a LONG time, But I wouldn't change it at all! My kids think about what they are going to get each other for a long time. It's a major part of Christmas for them. I love that about them!

[bluemongoose]

We do this until the kiddo is 6yo. They are given a certain amount of money to spend on each member of the family. It is not a very large amount, so the gifts are small, but they are proud of them!

 

When they turn 6, they are capable of learning how to save some of their allowance for gifts.

 

That is just how we do it around here.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Yes. They earn money through doing extra chores and save it up to buy for Christmas. Usually it's something small, a candle or something. But, this year they all pitched in their money and saved a little extra and bought something online for my parents to bring down when they come in 2 weeks. I'm excited to see what they came up with!

 

They bought my dh all the pixar movies he's missing in his collection (Amazon has them for cheap if you get them gently used so they got them all for about $25).

[WeeBeaks]

My oldest (8) uses his allowance to buy any gifts he wants to purchase. We take him shopping at the dollar spot at Target and the dollar store so he can find affordable things. For examples from this year, grandma got a dish towel, grandpa got peat pots for his garden and daddy got a new plastic container for his lunches at work --- all dollar store items.

 

My youngers (ages 5, 3 and infant) do not give their own gifts. When they on their own decide they want to give gifts, we can set up an allowance and chore system to help them earn the money.

 

All of them participate in a craft we do for the grandparents for the holidays, usually decorated ornaments or the like.

[JenC3]

No. I don't need anything and dh and I don't exchange either. Now next year we are going to start doing handmade for each other. I wanted the children to have more abilities, less discouragement that way for my two type A's. it will become part of our celebration from here on out. Dh is getting into working so I'm very excited about my future presents! Throughout this coming year we are going to art projects that work on re-purposing and construction. I think the main reason people don't want to give handmade is that they feel inadequate in their abilities.

[cathmom]

My older dc manage it themselves, either making or buying things. Sometimes we may pay for some of it. My dc do not get an allowance, and dh is against paying them for extra chores, so there's really no way for them to earn money.

 

My younger dc I take to a dollar store (or Dollar General, which isn't really a dollar store LOL) and let them choose something for each person. They love getting presents for everybody. Last year my older dc helped them wrap the presents. Like a PP said, I want them to know that Christmas is about giving and not just getting, and this supports that concept.

[kokotg]

Mine buy for each other and for us and make presents (I think this year we're doing chocolate covered pretzels) for other family members. This year DS9 is using all his own money; the younger two use some money from allowance, but we supplement as needed.

[Cinder]

Thanks to all who responded. I enjoyed reading all the different ways families handle gift giving.

 

Cinder

[Danestress]

my twin boys (age 13 now) absolutely love picking out gifts for each other. It's probably their favorite Christmas tradition. Daddy takes each one on separate shopping trips and it's just a hoot to see what they pick for each other. It's never anything more than maybe $20. On Christmas morning, they can open and play with each other's gift as soon as they wake. That's how we bought time when they were young - they could open that ONE gift but could not wake anyone else until the predetermined hour.

 

They do also pick out gifts for DH and I. This is important to my DH. He frets a lot over what to give me, and definitely has taught my sons that you have to buy a gift for the lady of the house.

 

My older son also buys for the twins and they for him. I guess DH and I actually fun the gifts given by the younger children most of the time.

 

Anyway, "gifts" are not my love language. But they are definitely important to my DH, and I think he's done a good job making gift giving fun for the boys. Their wives will thank us someday, right?

[HomeschoolingMy4]

We've always taken our kids out to buy gifts for the other parent or siblings but they never felt like it was their money, so we've started something new this year. We're allowing them to do extra chores for Christmas money- like folding a basket of laundry is 50 cents. We will probably add a basic allowance to that, too. It helps make the Christmas time less stressful for me and we'd spend the money anyways. Now they feel like it's their personal thing & have pride in it! PLUS they want to help around the house- so great!

[katemary63]

The reason I'm asking is that one family we know gives each of their kids a certain amount of money to buy gifts for the other members of the family.

 

:iagree: We do this. All family members have ALWAYS had a specific gift given to them from each other family member at Christmas. All kids buy for every sibling and parent. It really is very important to them. When they are young, we provide the money, of course, and take them shopping. Each parent helps each kid buy for the other parent. Sometimes they will agree to a group gift if it is something more expensive that is really great and known to be wanted by the other person. But they all have to agree. I can see how this might be impossible with large families, but we wouldn't have it any other way with our family of 6.

 

Right now, DD19 can afford her own gifts and doesn't want help, but DS23 is flat broke and I've given him $25 / person for Christmas. (He's a hard working college student with ADD and does the best he can. If he was a slacker, I would not do this. But he simply doesn't have the money and he'd be heartbroken not to be able to pick something out for his sisters.) DD25 is grown and buys her own of course. DD9 picks out her own gifts for everyone after very careful thought. It isn't just token. It means a lot to all of us. We don't buy frivolously. We try to choose gifts that are meaningful, wanted or needed. They can be simple and inexpensive. Sometimes they are clothing that is needed anyway but just a bit fancier then what we would ordinarily have gotten.

 

One year, when my DS was 9, he happened to be with me when I admired some hand painted wooden apples at a store. He determined right there to get me those apples for Christmas. He remembered, months later when his dad took him out to shop for me. He HAD to buy me those apples. I still have them in a basket in the center of my kitchen table where they will remain till the day I die. Just the other day, he said, "You know, mom, you don't have to keep those apples anymore if you don't want to. You've had them 15 years." I told him I would never part with them for a million dollars. I know it touched his heart.

 

DD9 got her first BB gun from her brother. He taughter her how to shoot it. She says to her friends, "My brother gave me this gun" and she is so proud.

 

Sometimes traditions develop. DD9 always gets me a nightgown. She knows what color to get me. She knows I love them and that I expect it. Every year, she can't wait to go out with her dad to pick out my nightgown. Nowadays, DS had better get me Ferrero Rochers! He always does. It's a thing between us. DD25 gets books from DD19. It's a thing between them. Over the years, gifts, carefully chosen, can help bind a family together. They have for us.

Edited December 8, 2010 by katemary63

[rwjx2khsmj]

We do a family trip to the dollar store and I give the kids $8 each to buy for 7 people (5 family plus Grandma & Grandpa). They can choose anything in the store since it is all marked at $1 and they even get to go up and pay for it at the register by themselves (with me close-by to help if necessary). They are so cute about hiding their baskets from one another when they walk the store:lol:. They always look forward to this shopping trip. When we get home they take turns wrapping (with some help from older siblings). Christmas morning is always adorable! They are so good at choosing special things for each person, and it brings me joy to see the excitement with which they give their specially chosen gifts :) I typically get some type of chocolate or kitchen utensil :lol: from each of them.

 

:iagree:This is what we do too.

We do it as part of our Christmas Adam celebration. This has been our tradition since the older children were big enough to want to shop for others, about 10 years. We include anyone that's going to be with us on Christmas morning in the shopping allowance. It's a great way for the kids to buy for each other and us with out dropping a boatload of money. We hope it helps them understand that it really is the thought that counts.

[Sherry in OH]

My daughter is five, and for the first time this year we are going to have her choose presents for us and her little brother. We'll subsidize her until she's somewhat older. Right now I just want to encourage the idea that Christmas is for giving as well as receiving, and to give her some practice in choosing presents people will like. She is very excited and spends a lot of time thinking up ideas.

 

:iagree:

I want my sons to experience giving as well as receiving. They give gifts to us, each other, and grandparents. Since they are young, I preselect appropriate options to avoid overwhelming them with choices. "Which of these [three] sweaters do you think Grandma would like?" instead of "you have xxx to spend, what do you want to buy."

[awtl]

When I was a kid, my dad would take us shopping for our mom, and mom would take us shopping for our dad. It was a lot of fun, and they would let us know what the other would like. I learned a lot about how to shop for someone and how to find a meaningful gift...as well as how much each cared for the other. It was a special time for me. They would give us a certain amount of money and let us pay for it by ourselves. For some reason, I always felt like I was spending "my" money :001_huh:

[susankenny]

Yes, they have always bought gifts for dh & I and one another. They also buy for grandparents (or make gifts). Some years, we've only used the dollar store for them to buy for us, but having them understand that Christmas is more than just receiving is very important.

 

 

Susan

 

ETA - they give to their teachers in Sunday school and co-op too.

[AngieW in Texas]

No gifts for us, the parents. We don't even give each other gifts.

 

The girls do get money to give each other gifts though. We give the girls $40 each so they can each spend up to $20 on each of their sisters. Sometimes two of the sisters will go in together on one bigger gift for a sister.

 

I took the 12yo and 15yo out shopping for their 17yo sister on Sunday. I'll be taking out a different pair tomorrow to get gifts and then the final pair on Friday.

[Catwoman]

Ds always buys gifts for dh and me at a local church holiday festival. They have a "kids only" area where kids can buy gifts for a few dollars, and the volunteers gift wrap them. They have nice stuff, too, all donated by local merchants -- $25.00 figurines for a dollar or two, and all sorts of other stuff. No junk, just real gifts that the kids can afford. Ds doesn't make us wait until Christmas for those, though -- we have lunch at the festival and open the gifts then. While ds is shopping for us, dh waits outside the kids' room and I go to another area to buy something special for ds, so we all have gifts to open at lunch.

 

Ds and I shop for dh's gifts together, and I know that ds and dh are up to something big for me this year, because ds keeps smirking at me and acting like he and dh don't know what to buy me. That kid can really keep a secret when he wants to, though -- he'll never rat me out to dh, and won't tell me what he and dh are doing, either. I could never keep a secret when I was a kid, so I guess he must get that ability from dh.

 

I have to admit that I usually don't spend much time wondering what they're buying, but this year, they've got me very curious! I've asked for a couple of things, but nothing worthy of smirks and knowing glances. ;)

 

Cat