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My friend's husband was killed yesterday

jentancalann
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Mom23Boys

Mom23Boys

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in a car accident. He accidentally ran a stop sign and was hit. I'm heartbroken for her and her children. She's a hs'ing mom of 4. You just never know. Please lift this family up in prayer.

I am sorry. I will be praying.

 

My dad was killed in a car accident when I was 5, almost 6. My mom was a widow at 29, with 4 kids 8 and younger. I will be praying for your friend and her kids.

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Garga

Garga

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A few years ago, my friend's husband died unexpectedly. He was 37 and she was 34. She had one daughter under the age of 2.

 

She had about 2 weeks notice. He went for an endoscopy (I think it was), threw up while under anesthetics, got an infection and died. My friend had to decide to take him off life support so he could die. They were NOT prepared for this to happen. It was a routine procedure. He had filled up the car with gas so that he'd have a full tank when they drove home. My friend also had life insurance papers she'd filled out and had kept asking her dh to sign. He never did, so she only had the insurance he had through work, but nothing else. She poured her grief into anger against him for a long time over that.

 

She lived about 5 hours drive away. My sons were 1 and 3.5. It was the middle of winter, with a mountain range between us covered in ice and snow. I went to the funeral, but didn't visit after that. I called her every day, but didn't visit. It's my biggest regret. I wish I had found a way to visit every couple of months, (especially once spring and summer came) just to BE there. Even though by visiting, it was difficult because of having three hyper kids in the house under 4, I still wish I had just been there.

 

Everyone really does stop calling the bereaved after a couple of months. Be the one that keeps calling her looong after everyone else stops. And go see her in person whenever possible.

 

 

Oh, and :grouphug:s to you. It can make you feel beyond miserable watching a friend go through that.

Edited by Garga
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mothergooseof4

mothergooseof4

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Will be praying.

 

My story....5 and a half years ago I got up to nurse my baby. I heard my dh (33) breathing funny. Within minutes he stopped altogether. I started CPR on him immediately, but he was already with the Lord. He was not sick and even the ME report stated that they could not determine his cause of death.....there was nothing wrong.

 

I was a 31yo, hsing mom with a 5yo, a 2yo, and a 9 month old. Totally left in shock. But, God gives you grace that you cannot imagine in such times. A pp was right, after a while, most people stopped calling. In fact, many people couldn't even face me and avoided talking to me period. I knew they cared and that anyone of them would be there if I called. But, the one that I still brag on today was the one that called me. She didn't just call to say, "Let me know what you need." She would call and say, "What are you doing today and do you want help?" or when she thought of something tough....like going through dh's clothing she asked me, "When are you going to do that? Would you like me to help you or stay home, but pray for you at that time?" She was and is a blessing to me to this day. Yes, many others blessed me during that time, but I had to ask and I felt like a burden or weak for needing them. She was just there.

 

God did amazing things in the past few years. I have experienced things about Him that I only had head knowledge of before. I have grown to trust Him in ways I never did before. And, I have come through some amazing spiritual and emotional battles with His strength. I used to wonder how we were to ever thank God for our trials and would tell people that while I was thankful for His strength and power in getting through them, I didn't know if I could ever actually thank Him for the trial itself. I can now do that. It sounds bad in a way to say, "Thank you for my dh's death." But, I don't mean it that way. Ultimately, I would still never have chosen this path for our dc or myself. But, I can say with a power and assurance that those who have not experienced Him in a trial cannot----He works all things for my good. This I know without a doubt.

 

God has used me to minister to other widows, young and old. I also just remarried and it has been an amazing journey as well. I have actually had people come up to me with tears in their eyes and marvel at what God has done in our family.

 

Why we all endure the trials that we do, I will never understand. I also lost my mom recently and it hurts. But, from experience I can say in faith....My God is good. He has a plan and I trust Him to be all that I need to live it out.

 

If you would like, you may pm me for my email address. I would be happy to talk with your friend if she would like.

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Cinder

Cinder

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She didn't just call to say, "Let me know what you need." She would call and say, "What are you doing today and do you want help?"

 

I had a friend that this happened to. Except that she was 7 months along with their 5th. She said one of the most helpful things was when people called with specific offers of help, not just "let me know what you need." She needed a lot. But if someone asked which day they could watch the kids next week, or if her lawn needed mowing, she could answer according to her plans and needs.

 

Cinder

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jentancalann

jentancalann

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Will be praying.

 

My story....5 and a half years ago I got up to nurse my baby. I heard my dh (33) breathing funny. Within minutes he stopped altogether. I started CPR on him immediately, but he was already with the Lord. He was not sick and even the ME report stated that they could not determine his cause of death.....there was nothing wrong.

 

I was a 31yo, hsing mom with a 5yo, a 2yo, and a 9 month old. Totally left in shock. But, God gives you grace that you cannot imagine in such times. A pp was right, after a while, most people stopped calling. In fact, many people couldn't even face me and avoided talking to me period. I knew they cared and that anyone of them would be there if I called. But, the one that I still brag on today was the one that called me. She didn't just call to say, "Let me know what you need." She would call and say, "What are you doing today and do you want help?" or when she thought of something tough....like going through dh's clothing she asked me, "When are you going to do that? Would you like me to help you or stay home, but pray for you at that time?" She was and is a blessing to me to this day. Yes, many others blessed me during that time, but I had to ask and I felt like a burden or weak for needing them. She was just there.

 

God did amazing things in the past few years. I have experienced things about Him that I only had head knowledge of before. I have grown to trust Him in ways I never did before. And, I have come through some amazing spiritual and emotional battles with His strength. I used to wonder how we were to ever thank God for our trials and would tell people that while I was thankful for His strength and power in getting through them, I didn't know if I could ever actually thank Him for the trial itself. I can now do that. It sounds bad in a way to say, "Thank you for my dh's death." But, I don't mean it that way. Ultimately, I would still never have chosen this path for our dc or myself. But, I can say with a power and assurance that those who have not experienced Him in a trial cannot----He works all things for my good. This I know without a doubt.

 

God has used me to minister to other widows, young and old. I also just remarried and it has been an amazing journey as well. I have actually had people come up to me with tears in their eyes and marvel at what God has done in our family.

 

Why we all endure the trials that we do, I will never understand. I also lost my mom recently and it hurts. But, from experience I can say in faith....My God is good. He has a plan and I trust Him to be all that I need to live it out.

 

If you would like, you may pm me for my email address. I would be happy to talk with your friend if she would like.

 

Thank you, I will.

 

I know she was still in shock when I saw her last night, but even then she seemed very level headed. One of the first things she said to me was that she knew the Lord had a plan and that it was going to be ok. She is an amazing woman anyway, and I know, with the Lord's grace, she will come through this w/ a wonderful testimony.

 

I must have read your story before because I've thought many times about how people will treat her differently and how they will soon forget that she needs help. I don't plan on forgetting. Thank you for the specifics on what your friend said and did, they will be helpful. Also, thank you for sharing your story with us.

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