Are your dc in "competitive" sports? Which ones? Why? How important is it?

[sheryl]

Title pretty much sums it up.

 

My sister thinks it's important for my 11.5 yo dd to participate in competitive sports.

 

It would be finding the TIME in our already fairly busy schedule.

 

My dd has add/adhd....maybe it would be good, maybe not. She really has NEVER taken to being in large groups. I noticed this when she was a baby. She prefers smaller groups....like me. ;)

 

Will she miss out by not participating in competitive sports?

 

Right now she takes horseback riding lessons....that's it for the physical education part. She was in swimming for 2-3 years when she was around 5. She's NEVER taken to swimming. She's afraid of the water, which can be natural for some people. I was that way too. After I was married i decided I wanted to learn to swim. I took classes and started, over several years, working up to swimming a mile. I'm not a "swimmer", but I do enjoy it. I've not been lap swimming in YEARS and keep telling myself to get back into it.

 

So, there are valid reasons my dd has. As homeschoolers, we don't have as many opportunities perhaps to be involved in the full range of activities.

 

What do you think?

[teachermom2834]

My 12 yo and 10 yo dss play competitive baseball. My 7 yo ds will likely move to competitive soccer before too long.

 

You do not need competitive sports. In fact, far more kids play them than need to play them.

 

Rec level sports teams fill the need for most kids. My oldest has an exceptional talent and has needed the structure/ competition of travel teams. My second could have his needs met by a rec league but has a nice bunch of families on his travel team and he does okay. As far as his ability goes he doesn't need to be on a travel team. Overall, it is a positive activity for him but not necessary for him by any means.

 

My youngest will likely benefit from the structure of a competitive team and he likes to play so much we will probably go that direction. He won't need it though.

 

Out of my three competitive, athletic boys only one needs a competitive atmosphere. I'm pretty confident in saying that this is not a need of the general population. In fact, competitive sports limit other life opportunities so much that I would never push a kid in that direction if they are not so inclined.

 

I think if you have a kid that needs it, you know.

[Gooblink]

I'm not sure how important competitive sports are, but they do serve to round out a kid's education and (with the right program) teach sportsmanship, loyalty and perseverance..

 

My husband and I are about the least athletically inclined people you'll ever meet, yet both our boys LOVE sports, especially baseball. We'd probably not have ever discovered that, had we not decided to enroll them just to give them the experience.

 

Since they love it so much, we invest $$ and time for them to play. Not my favorite way to spend time, but...they're only young once. :)

[eternalknot]

Mine plays competitive baseball and soccer. Next year he'll start competitive shooting.

 

He really thrives in that environment. I don't think all kids will or do. I'd think an ADD/ADHD child would benefit from it, but only if they were open to participating.

 

I agree that the majority of kids will find their needs met via recreational play. Thankfully one of mine does, because I don't know that we'd have enough time or money or energy to devote to another set of select sports!

 

I do think that a competitive environment is beneficial for all kids, at some point in their lives - particularly the middle school years. I think this environment can be found elsewhere, though; not just in the sports world. Chess, Speech/Debate, Spelling Bee, Drama, Foreign Language, etc.

[mmasmommy]

Are you talking about competitive sports as in team sports or as the other posting was talking about travel teams?

 

I think it is good for a child to be part of a team sport at some point. Learning how to be a good teammate is an important thing. I was never in a team sport as a child and didn't think I had missed out on anything until my kids started playing Softball/Baseball & Soccer. After cheering them on for several years now I realize that I missed out and am glad my kids get to have these experiences. They have learned a tremendous amount about discipline, teamwork, and responsibility being on a team.

[sheryl]

Mine plays competitive baseball and soccer. Next year he'll start competitive shooting.

 

He really thrives in that environment. I don't think all kids will or do. I'd think an ADD/ADHD child would benefit from it, but only if they were open to participating.

 

I agree that the majority of kids will find their needs met via recreational play. Thankfully one of mine does, because I don't know that we'd have enough time or money or energy to devote to another set of select sports!

 

I do think that a competitive environment is beneficial for all kids, at some point in their lives - particularly the middle school years. I think this environment can be found elsewhere, though; not just in the sports world. Chess, Speech/Debate, Spelling Bee, Drama, Foreign Language, etc.[/QUOTE]

 

Oh, that's good and I like that....thanks for sharing. Will keep this for future decisions.

[Barry Goldwater]

DD's 14, 13, and 10 play outdoor recreational soccer, indoor soccer, and run the occasional 5K road running race. They LOVE the soccer experience, and are competitive players (esp. DD14 & 10). The benefits include:

 

Fitness

Sportsmanship training

Dealing with winning & losing with grace

Trying even when odds are stacked against

Achieving more than you thought yourself capable of

Achieving a common goal with your friends

Having FUN!!!

 

(and it deals with the phys ed requirement in our state quite nicely).

 

I don't believe that organized sports are for everyone...I enjoyed competing in high school, but on 'solidary pursuits' like XC running, swimming & track/field. I wasn't so hot at sports requiring lots of coordination or skill :tongue_smilie:. I was on the school teams, (made the XC team in college too :)) and the team environment was constructive and instructive, but not the same as, say, football or baseball, etc.

 

Perhaps more 'singular' sporting pursuits, like swimming (you mentioned this), track, golf, archery, shooting, XC skiing, etc. might fit the personality of your DC better? Just a thought.

[LittleIzumi]

I did competitive horseback riding ;)

[Debbie in OR]

Are there specific reasons/concerns your sister has as to why she thinks it would be good for your dd?

 

Both dc have played competitive soccer for 4 and 6 years; dd also plays volleyball and dc plays lacrosse. Both do downhill skiing although nothing competitive at this point. They LOVE all of it.

 

But I don't think it's necessary for every child and we don't do ANYTHING that the kids have not asked to do...I wouldn't just put them in sports just to say we did. But if they have interest in something, why not....it may be something they were created for or turns into something they are passionate about.

[Halcyon]

My older is a black belt in TKD but has not competed yet in a lot of tournaments. He would like to do competitive tennis but I put the kibosh on that. I was a top nationally ranked junior squash player for 9 years of my childhood and I don't think it was worth it.

 

ETA: meant to add: he also plays competitive basketball and soccer. Right now, it's league stuff, not anything overly "competitive". But he loves it. My younger hates competitive sports; he dances, acts and sings.

Edited November 10, 2010 by Halcyon

[sheryl]

I did competitive horseback riding ;)

 

Oh funny.......duh me. I know this exists and we've even been to horse shows once or twice, but I didn't connect the dots. Gee, I need a serious break....:D

 

DD's 14, 13, and 10 play outdoor recreational soccer, indoor soccer, and run the occasional 5K road running race. They LOVE the soccer experience, and are competitive players (esp. DD14 & 10). The benefits include:

 

Fitness

Sportsmanship training

Dealing with winning & losing with grace

Trying even when odds are stacked against

Achieving more than you thought yourself capable of

Achieving a common goal with your friends

Having FUN!!!

 

(and it deals with the phys ed requirement in our state quite nicely).

 

I don't believe that organized sports are for everyone...I enjoyed competing in high school, but on 'solidary pursuits' like XC running, swimming & track/field. I wasn't so hot at sports requiring lots of coordination or skill :tongue_smilie:. I was on the school teams, (made the XC team in college too :)) and the team environment was constructive and instructive, but not the same as, say, football or baseball, etc.

 

Perhaps more 'singular' sporting pursuits, like swimming (you mentioned this), track, golf, archery, shooting, XC skiing, etc. might fit the personality of your DC better? Just a thought.

 

Thanks Barry. Poster above mentioned competitive h'back riding. My dd is already taking lessons, so we'll see. And, I like what an earlier poster wrote about chess, debate, etc. In terms of physically competitive sports, I'll need to give more thought to all of it to determine which one may be the best fit. Thanks everyone. Sheryl <><

[snickelfritz]

Soccer.

 

For us, I think this will be a long-term family sport. Both dd's love it. We ask them every season if they want to keep playing, give them options between that and other stuff......they like soccer.

 

We have several girls on older dd's team who DON'T like it and are pushed into it by their family. "I don't know why she keeps asking to sit out a quarter. She loves soccer." hmmmm... Sure she does. Everyone else can see she doesn't. The entire team suffers from girls that won't run, ask to sit out in games, don't give any effort, etc...(their league has requirements about playing minimums.) dd has been approached about joining another team in a more competitive league next year. We had originally planned to wait until she was older, but the lack of interest/effort from some of the team is frustrating.

 

I wouldn't force my kids to be in a competitive sport. I would require them to pick an active activity. Soccer is a great cardiovascular exercise and they both do gymnastics once a week, which is great all-over conditioning.

 

I think there are lots of character things that can be learned in competitive sports. But, they can be learned in lots of activities.

[Amy loves Bud]

My 12 yo son plays competitive soccer for a local select club. He also plays bass in orchestra.

 

My 10 yo dd is very involved in theater and is usually doing a show of some sort - right now she's in rehearsals for Miracle on 34th Street, which opens after Thanksgiving.

 

DS12 is very naturally athletic and loves playing soccer competitively, and will basically round up a group to play any old sport if he isn't doing homework or at practice. He just loves sports, so his club team is perfect for him.

 

However, my daughter is not athletically inclined AT ALL, and hated the little bit of soccer she played around age 6.

 

We feel that they both get the benefits of teamwork, working toward a common goal, winning and losing gracefully, and all that jazz from theater and orchestra, and don't require competitive sports. However we do require a certain amount of physical exercise and encourage a healthy lifestyle overall.

[Stacy in NJ]

DS12 fences at the YMCA and skeet shoots. DS13 has participated for years in a club sponsored by the YMCA called Swim Fit. It's basically 45 minutes of lap swimming for stroke development combined with 15 minutes of fun games. He does this 3 time per week; it's terrific exercise. They both also bowl in a homeschool league.

 

Both DSs participate in an on-again/off-again manner in Aikido. DH is a life-long practitioner and both boys have had a lot of time on the mat. :001_smile:

 

Both DH and I prefer sports/activites that don't require a great deal of commitment or time. We perfer time spent on academics and other hobbies, volunteering, personnal development.

 

DH was a competitive tennis player while I ran track and played softball throughout high school. While we both see many benefits to competitive sports, unless your children are self-motivated, they can be a tremendous time suck that provide only limited benefits.

[Anne in CA]

My kids don't play competitive sports and I don't feel too badly about it because:

 

A. The risk of injury is real and sports injuries do cause real damage. A friend of my son's just had his 4th concussion. Yuck.

 

B. There seem to be a lot of dynamics involved with team sports that have to do with adults that I would not be patient with. Not just on this board, but in real life I see kids struggling unfairly with junk that adults couldnt deal with.

 

That said, I do think competive sports have a place, and if there were more time and money in my week I would have my kids participate. Those are just the reasons it doesn't bother me much.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I think competitive sports teach lessons that are hard to get any other way. All three of the boys are involved and we make the time and find the money to do it. It has been invaluable in confidence building, building friendships, etc...

 

They do (collectively) cross-country, football, soccer, basketball, tennis, baseball, and probably other stuff that I am forgetting.

[Dmmetler]

My almost 6 yr old is in Competitive Cheer (as well as dance), but it's more that the local team gives her another chance to dance and practice tumbling with a couple of friends. The "competition" is pretty low key for level 1 (awards aren't even handed out at the competition proper-the coaches give them out later, and they're just ribbons for each ranking anyway)-and honestly, she's more excited about getting to perform at the half time of a high school basketball game than the competition :).

[Danestress]

but what you want and need may be different. My boys are involved in swimming and tennis. One of each - they are involved at a level that would make being in two sports difficult. One swims and does swimming related workouts about 10 hours a week. The other plays tennis and spends 10 - 20 hours a week between training, playing, and working out. Obviously they do this because they want to. I would never encourage a child to invest that much in a sport unless he or she wanted to.

 

These are neither one really "team" sports, though some of the training is in groups. Both are really about the individual competing.

[Perry]

I think competitive sports teach lessons that are hard to get any other way.

:iagree:

 

I never did anything competitive and I regret it.

 

My girls do competitive dance and poms, and my son does swimming and cross country. He used to figure skate but doesn't do that anymore.

[Jennifer in MI]

Does she like to run? It's competitive, but not a team sport. She could train alone (you said she prefers to be alone or in small groups) and find local races. My oldest is doing that now. He's pretty good! (He won a local 10K for his age group!!)

 

What about karate? It can be what you want it to be. My boys now compete against others, but for a long time it was just competing against themselves to get better.

 

My boys are involved in: baseball (VERY competitive baseball!), karate, running, soccer, and basketball.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Dd7 was in a National competitive gymnastics team for a bit but it didn't last. 3 nights a week for 3 hours each night, plus traveling on weekends...uugh. Not for us, not to mention the cost. Same went for dd11 who was on the local competitive team. They requested to quit after they got tired of missing out on family things. Dd12 did one horse riding competition but didn't get overly excited about it. She said she'd rather spend the money spent on competitions on extra riding lessons.

 

I guess my crew just isn't competitive. They enjoy playing sports but only as an exercise in enjoying time spent with others. They really could care less if they win or not.

 

As for instilling team participation, working toward a common goal, winning and loosing gracefully...I had considered if my dc would miss out on learning those traits but then decided that they can learn those things at home and quite honestly I feel they need to be practicing those skills at home with family members before they go out and exhibit those skills with others.

 

I have a nephew that is in competitive sports and his parents rave about his good sportsmanship, devotion to the team and dedication to winning. However, he pitches a fit when he looses a game of Sorry, argues and whines about helping out around the house, and is doing poorly in school because he won't complete his homework. I think the priorities need to be adjusted...just my .02

[sheryl]

Wow, I so appreciate everyone's input.

 

Let me back track to "group" sports.

 

But then, wouldn't all sports be competitive? Solo or group participant? Really I should have asked the question regarding "team" or group sports....not really competition for trophy, ribbons, etc?

 

OK, now line up and please answer again. :tongue_smilie:

 

Sheryl <><

 

PS...She does enjoy "for now" horseback. She loves to run (Jennifer/MI...hi again). Like so many kids her age she has a "like" sport/subject, etc for the month and that changes again and again...;)

[2squared]

I am just now accepting that my sensory seeking, highly competitive, ultra intense 6yo boy needs competitive sports. We live very rurally so we have little choice of programs, but at least my homeschooled kids can participate in public school sports. I just noticed that wrestling and basketball are starting soon, and I have my eye on TKD for him too. I don't want all the running around, but he needs it. Sigh.

 

I don't see that any of my other kids truly need competitive sports. I think it would be very good for them, but they don't need it in the same way as my 6yo.

Edited November 11, 2010 by 2squared

[FriedClams]

I think this question is a lot like bottle or breast. Some will swear either way. What it boils down to is - do you feel it's in the best interest of your child and the goals for your family.

 

For us, sports are a fun way for our family to play together. We like to hike, bike, play kickball, swim, etc. My kids play homeschool sports in the fall and Upward basketball in the winter. I would not consider either "competitive". The kids have fun, get exercise and if we miss a practice it's not a big deal.

 

Now, one reason we don't do "competitive" sports is that we don't want to give up that much family time. We do scouts - which we do as a family. We all do it. We value our pace of life and time together over competition. For some families - they can do both or sports is a way to spend time as a family. It's just not for us. I don't like the pressure they put on kids, the schedules, the cost, the cliquey-ness, the attitudes, etc.

 

But again - you have to decide what's best for your family, your schedule, your kids, your goals. :)

[pdalley]

One of our three is a golfer. He's on his second level in the 1st Tee program and I was advised to get him in Jr tournaments next spring. He's quite talented. He practices every day - on his own.

 

The oldest is very into music, drama and performance. The youngest? Well, jury is still out on him. He hasn't shown a strong preference for something yet.

 

We encourage the boys to pick one thing and stick to it. We try to be careful not to push too hard. I competed at horse shows as a teen and my love for riding was destroyed by my parent trying to live through me.

 

I really think it depends on each kid. I think some kids thrive with it and some don't.

[Deb in NZ]

Teamwork & competitions are not just found in sports. My dc have been very active over the years. I have required that they each be involved in a physical activity, a social activity, & a artistic activity. One of those must be a team activity. At one time dd's "team" activity was concert band. I don't believe that high level competiveness is for everyone. Not everyone has the skill, desire, or $$ to make this possible. But taking part in competitive activities (where there is a winner & a loser) is important IMHO. I have seen teens that have not had these experiences & it's horrible to be around someone who does not know how to win or lose gracefully.

 

Activities my dc have been involved in over the years: (* competitive, + team)

 

Dd:

+* soccer

+ concertband

+* Young Mariners

+* SeaScouts / Venturers

+* field hockey

fencing

swimming

*sailing

writing club

 

Ds#1:

+* soccer

+ concertband

+* pipeband

+* SeaScouts / Venturers

+* field hockey

**gymnastics (competed at Nationals)

swimming

*sailing

 

Ds#2:

+* soccer

+* SeaScouts

+** field hockey (competed at Nationals)

*gymnastics

swimming

*sailing

swimming

violin lessons

 

We do scouts as a family & each term a different activity gets top priority (i.e. term 1 = regattas, term 3 = gymnastics or hockey national competions)

 

If any of my dc had serious ADD/ADHD I would carefully choose activities to extend them without overwhelming them. Gymnastics really helped ds#1 to gain confidence & focus, making his ADD symptoms disappear. In life we are required to work in teams toward a common goal. We are also judged against ourselves, a set of expectations, & against others. Competitive & team activities can help prepare our dc for this.

 

JMHO,

[BMW]

We are a tennis family. It's something that everyone can eventually do together... The amount of money you put into it varies and doesn't have to be extreme... although tennis has been called a "rich" person's sport (think private lessons, coaches and new rackets and balls, then add in traveling for tournaments, entry fees, etc.).

 

What I have loved is that it has improved our children's coordination. It has taught them discipline in practicing. It has been FUN for us all to play together. We would take advantage of summer tennis programs by the USTA and then continue as a family the rest of the year. There are many local courts, depending on where you live. If there are none where you live, just disregard this entire post... because it would be expensive to play at sports clubs... unless you don't mind paying membership (which runs about $150 a month for a family membership including tennis courts in California or Alaska).

 

Anyway... we love tennis.

[joannqn]

DS8 is in taekwondo which includes participating in tournaments. Because of cost and other issues, we limit him to two tournaments a year at this point.

 

DD10 is not in any competitive sports, nor do I expect her to ever be. She takes swimming lessons because I require it to get her past her fear of water and past the risk of drowning. That's it.

[Gratia271]

Son is involved in competitive fencing, and daughters are in ballet.

[sheryl]

Thanks...I'm going to have my dh read your replies. :001_smile:

[EarleneW]

IMO it is very important in our family.

DS 13 is on the JV Swim team for our local homeschool team. He will play soccer in the spring.

DD 10 does competitive cheerleading- she is on level 5 this year and is probably the most athletic in the family. She also does competition dance (ballet and jazz).

DS 7 will be doing spring soccer

DD 4 does tap and ballet and will probably try cheerleading next year.

 

Yes, it takes lots of time and money, but worth every penny to us.

[RanchGirl]

My boys both play travel baseball and basketball. They also play football. And recreational golf, tennis, and snowboarding in between. (One used to play soccer but thankfully has given that up!) When they are not playing sports, they are watching sports on TV with their Dad, reading about sports, and talking about sports with their similarly sports-crazy friends. That's our family right now. But do I think competitive sports are essential for every child? No. I think it is important that...

 

- you help your kids pursue their interests/passions/talents (this is the most critical in my opinion)

- the kids get healthy exercise and develop a lifelong habit and interest in it

- they participate on some kind of team environment

- they get plenty of social opportunities to make friends

 

Competitive sports have filled all these needs for my kids. But you could definitely fill these needs in other ways, it just depends on the kid's interests. The key is to find and pursue their passions. Personally, I would not choose for my kids to play so many sports (especially when dh is out of town and I am coordinating 2 kids at two different tournaments in two different cities, starting at 7:45 am on a Saturday -- ugh), but it is what they want for now and I have seen a lot of benefits for them in it.

 

For the OP, I think if someone I respected made a suggestion like that, I would ask for clarification. What is the perceived need/opportunity? Is it the exercise, competing, social opportunities, or respecting a coach and working with teammates toward a common goal? Developing some confidence/self-esteem? Or is this a thinly veiled "your kid needs to be 'socialized' and peer pressure will help change some of the problem behaviors I don't like" kind of comment? If it turns out to be the latter, I wouldn't have much time for that kind of garbage. It's been done to death.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I think it can have many benefits:

 

-healthy exercise

-learning to work as part of a team

-learning sportsmanship

-learning to win and loose with grace

-learning the physical skills necessary for a sport

-learning to take direction from a coach

 

That said-I have one who participates and one who has decided not to continue in this line. Both, have had the experience though.

[Donna]

My oldest wrestles competitively. It is very important because it is his passion not because I see a particular need for competitive sports. He practices 3 nights a week, works out every weekday, and competes most weekends year-round.

 

My middle ds is more music oriented but does lift weights lightly and exercise nearly every day with his brother. Both boys are black belts in TKD and competed when they were younger but asked to quit a couple years ago due to boredom.

 

My youngest is 100% music. She has competed in fiddle competitions. She is athletic but hasn't found a competitive sport that interests her. She runs on the treadmill while the boys workout. She has tried dance, TKD, Little Gym, and soccer but not really passionate about any of them. We've had to make room in our schedule and save money for her music so other activities have had to go.