I did the right thing, right?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

DD10 had a writing assignment. I reminded her of her 2 references for formatting and told her to be sure to follow them. She did her assignment, but.....in the wrong format. I asked her to re-do it in the correct format. She has now spent the last 20 minutes arguing about why it's not fair, or why she "can't" do it. I told her that I was sorry she did it wrong, but that it had to be done correctly as it would affect her next assignment (this was a rough draft - she was to skip lines between each line so as to provide room for editing, she did not).

 

This seems to have, somehow, turned into a battle of epic proportions despite my refusal to speak to her any further about it.

 

Anyway, I guess my title question was really more rhetorical. I think I did the right thing. You would have done the same, right?? :)

[Garga]

Yes.

[Impish]

Yes.

:iagree:

[newlifemom]

Yep, but I hear ya' and I am sorry.:grouphug:

[Supertechmom]

You did right. you reminded her of what she was to do and she refused for whatever reason.

 

My niece was babied in public school because she was just such a great kid and student. She was used to being able to redo assignments for so many various reasons. She failed her entry essay/application to get into the teaching school because she failed to follow the required parts of formatting and things to include. None of her teachers did her any favors by regularly allowing her to redo her assignments. Instead, she was so used to doing it right the second or third time that she flunked the one time it was critical it be done right the first time.

 

Stick to your guns. Somewhere down the line, she will be thankful you made her do assignments correctly and on time.

[Mrs Mungo]

Yes! Hang in there, momma.

[FaithManor]

Echoing Mrs. Mungo's words! I feel your pain...ds threw fit yesterday because I made him redo an algebra problem because he wasn't showing his work. I have told him time and time and time again that he must show his work so that I can see where he went wrong in the problem if he has an incorrect answer.

 

This too shall pass. I wonder if my mil would make both of us some of her famous rum balls!

 

Faith

[Unicorn.]

BTDT- you did the right thing. I bet she remembers next time!

[NanceXToo]

Are you saying the mistake was that she didn't skip lines between sentences for purposes of editing? Is that all you mean by the wrong format?

 

Personally, for something like that, I would not make my daughter rewrite a rough draft. I know that when *I* hand write more than a few lines at a time, my hand starts to cramp and get really tired. So does my daughter's.

 

If my daughter (who is also 10) had made this mistake, I would inform her of what mistake she made, and when she did her editing, she'd have to draw little arrows down to the bottom of the page showing where to fit edits in, and I'd point out to her as she went "do you see how much easier this would have been to edit if you had skipped lines?" Likewise, when she wrote her final draft from that rough draft, I'd say "Do you see how much easier this would have been to copy if you'd skipped lines and could fit your edits in more clearly?" And when she wrote her final draft, I'd be more picky...

 

...but no I wouldn't make her rewrite a rough draft over something like that.

[fairfarmhand]

yep.

[KrissiK]

Yes!

The other day I had my 7 year old re-copy his FLL assignment (2 whole sentences) about 6-7 times because it was illegible. He can write neatly. He can write very neatly, without even too much effort. But, he was spoutin' attitude. He finally got it done.

You stick to your guns. It won't hurt 'em!

[missmoe]

yep, I would make her redo it. I teach my kids that half of writing is knowing what the teacher wants and doing it. Format will be a huge part of writing---when she's doing it in college for a grade. Or high school (if she has a teacher other than you) for that matter.

[Laurie4b]

You did the right thing, yes. A friend's kid got a 0 on a paper at his university because his margins were wrong. No lie. While I think that is ridiculous, formatting is very important to future teachers, bosses, clients, etc.

[NanceXToo]

I'm kinda surprised so many of you feel this way about a ROUGH DRAFT. If it's harder for her to make edits because she didn't double space, that's her problem. She'll have to work around that and figure out where her edits go.

 

But in the end, it's the FINAL draft that matters.

 

If THAT is unacceptable, sure, make her redo it.

 

And that's when all those comments about how formatting is such a big deal in college/high school etc would be relevant, anyway (those teachers wouldn't come to a kid's house and demand they redo their rough drafts. They'd only be interested in the FINAL draft. And meanwhile this kid is NOT in high school or college, she's 10).

 

ALL of you would really make a 10 year old redo a rough draft for not double spacing her lines....?

 

That really does surprise me!

[QueenCat]

yep, I would make her redo it. I teach my kids that half of writing is knowing what the teacher wants and doing it. Format will be a huge part of writing---when she's doing it in college for a grade. Or high school (if she has a teacher other than you) for that matter.

 

:iagree: I've always told my children the very same thing. My eldest is now in college, and guess what, he tells Mom she was right. Professors expect it in exactly the format stated. Anything less will either not be accepted by some, or result in a reduced grade. I would have done exactly the same thing as the original poster. Learning to follow directions is essential.

[Night Elf]

I recently had a college paper returned to me because I didn't put the references in APA format that required a hanging indent. The entire paper was returned to me. So yeah, formatting is extremely important. I'm so thankful my instructor didn't take off any points but he could have if he wanted!

 

Editing to add: I didn't realize it was a rough draft. I wouldn't have made her redo it but she might see why double spacing it is important. But this is why I let my children type. It's easy to edit. The only handwriting I have to do in college is an exam in class and there is no time for rough drafts anyway. Just MHO.

Edited November 5, 2010 by Night Elf

[Miss Sherry]

I'm kinda surprised so many of you feel this way about a ROUGH DRAFT. If it's harder for her to make edits because she didn't double space, that's her problem. She'll have to work around that and figure out where her edits go.

 

But in the end, it's the FINAL draft that matters.

 

If THAT is unacceptable, sure, make her redo it.

 

And that's when all those comments about how formatting is such a big deal in college/high school etc would be relevant, anyway (those teachers wouldn't come to a kid's house and demand they redo their rough drafts. They'd only be interested in the FINAL draft. And meanwhile this kid is NOT in high school or college, she's 10).

 

ALL of you would really make a 10 year old redo a rough draft for not double spacing her lines....?

 

That really does surprise me!

When I was in high school we were required to turn in our rough drafts. But she IS only 10 and not in high school. Actually, we didn't turn in every rough draft. It was my English teacher requiring we turn in the rough draft. She checked on our writing projects through each step and made corrections and suggestions along the way.

At the age of 10 I think I would let not double spacing a rough draft slide this time but let her know to be sure to do it next time. But I would tell her at the start of the next rough draft to double space or start over.

 

I know we're bringing up what high school teachers and professors expect, but I think it's perfectly fine at age 10 to let her know to do it next time or she'll have to do it over. I wouldn't let her get all the way finished with the rough draft next time before telling her she would have to do it over. I would be sure she knew at the start. That should be written on a check off sheet of requirements. But even ADULTS are known to miss some details when following directions. I would let her know to show me your rough draft when you are STARTING, not already finished.

 

They mature so much from the time they are 10 to the time they are high school and then college. I think it's too much of a stretch and over reacting to think that if you don't make her do it over this time at age 10 that she won't know how to follow directions in high school and/or college.

edited to add:

I had to get off of the computer before I could finish.

I want to add that I think it is more important at this age that she is able to articulate her thoughts and get them on paper than it is that she follow a format exactly. I think it's not a good thing to make writing more of a chore and drudgery than is necessary. There should be some fun and enjoyment in it. But I know some will say " But high school teachers... but my professor." Ummmm - she's 10 not 15 or 20 or older.

 

I believe at this age it is more important to help foster a LOVE of learning, which includes writing, than to be legalistic about all of the details, such as the format. I think the next few years are enough time to make sure she knows how to follow a format without making the whole experience of writing something she will dread.

Edited November 5, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[phathui5]

Is it typed or handwritten?

[katilac]

And that's when all those comments about how formatting is such a big deal in college/high school etc would be relevant, anyway (those teachers wouldn't come to a kid's house and demand they redo their rough drafts. They'd only be interested in the FINAL draft. And meanwhile this kid is NOT in high school or college, she's 10).

 

ALL of you would really make a 10 year old redo a rough draft for not double spacing her lines....?

 

That really does surprise me!

 

Sure, because she was reminded right before she did it of the correct format. It's not like they covered it six months ago and then she did the assignment cold, with no review. She was reminded.

 

And I really can't recall for college, but my teachers definitely showed an interest in my rough drafts in high school. They were part of the assignment, and they were graded.

[QueenCat]

Is it typed or handwritten?

 

I hadn't thought of that, changes my answer a tad... if it was handwritten, I'd probably give her a one time break on it.... I guess I just assumed it was done on the computer, and wouldn't take but 10 minutes to fix, if that....

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Well....it was handwritten. It was just a paragraph (nine sentences to be exact). The sole purpose was to learn how to write a rough draft. The entire lesson was on how to format the paragraph (which sentence goes where and how the page should look). There were 2 checklists I reminded her to reference AS she was doing the assignment. One was step by step instructions for which sentence went where in her paragraph, and the other was for how the page should look (name here, title here, type of paragraph here, etc...).

 

She did not skip lines like she was supposed to, and wrote each sentence as it's own paragraph.

[mysticamethyst]

Ds, now 16, when he was 9 decided he could no longer do math. I firmly told him he would finish his math or stay in his room till it was done. I cannot recall but it was something like 10 addition problems. He stayed in that room for 4 days, minus meals, till I went in there and did them with him. I coudln't take it anymore not him, sometimes we have to pick our battles and we called that one a tie.

 

Good Luck and fwiw I think you are doing the right thing.:grouphug::grouphug:

[Corraleno]

I'm kinda surprised so many of you feel this way about a ROUGH DRAFT. If it's harder for her to make edits because she didn't double space, that's her problem. She'll have to work around that and figure out where her edits go.

:iagree:

I think the lesson would actually "stick" much better if she had to work around the problems of having forgotten to double-space her lines; then she'd understand why it was requested instead of just seeing it as some random requirement (hence the arguing).

 

I would not make a 10 yo rewrite an entire rough draft by hand just because she forgot to double-space it. She's not in high school, she's in 5th grade. She's got four more years to learn what's expected in high school.

 

Jackie

[Corraleno]

She did not skip lines like she was supposed to, and wrote each sentence as it's own paragraph.

Why couldn't she just fix those as part of the normal revision process, as she works on the next draft? :confused:

 

Jackie

[dcjlkplus3]

Well....it was handwritten. It was just a paragraph (nine sentences to be exact). The sole purpose was to learn how to write a rough draft. The entire lesson was on how to format the paragraph (which sentence goes where and how the page should look). There were 2 checklists I reminded her to reference AS she was doing the assignment. One was step by step instructions for which sentence went where in her paragraph, and the other was for how the page should look (name here, title here, type of paragraph here, etc...).

 

She did not skip lines like she was supposed to, and wrote each sentence as it's own paragraph.

 

 

Since it sounds like she didn't follow the instructions at all... I think making her redo it the RIGHT way (maybe with you right by her reminding her) was the right thing to do

[Miss Sherry]

Well....it was handwritten. It was just a paragraph (nine sentences to be exact). The sole purpose was to learn how to write a rough draft. The entire lesson was on how to format the paragraph (which sentence goes where and how the page should look). There were 2 checklists I reminded her to reference AS she was doing the assignment. One was step by step instructions for which sentence went where in her paragraph, and the other was for how the page should look (name here, title here, type of paragraph here, etc...).

 

She did not skip lines like she was supposed to, and wrote each sentence as it's own paragraph.

Hmmmmm, sometimes our children do cause us to wonder what they are thinking. I wonder if she was so focused on the mechanics of handwriting that the information regarding the format simply was not processing in her mind. It can take awhile for all of the information our children are acquiring to become integrated in their thinking so that they can apply it.

 

But keep in mind, this is a learning process, not a test.

Edited November 5, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[Miss Sherry]

:iagree:

I think the lesson would actually "stick" much better if she had to work around the problems of having forgotten to double-space her lines; then she'd understand why it was requested instead of just seeing it as some random requirement (hence the arguing).

 

I would not make a 10 yo rewrite an entire rough draft by hand just because she forgot to double-space it. She's not in high school, she's in 5th grade. She's got four more years to learn what's expected in high school.

 

Jackie

:iagree: I think this is more appropriate for a 10 year old.

 

Did you ever wonder why so many people detest writing ?

 

There's no need to expect a 10 year old to meet the standards of a high school or college student. They still have a few years.

Would you expect her to be as capable and mature as a high school or college student in other ways ? What would you say if she asked for the car keys tonight ? You wouldn't say "Well, when I was in college I was expected to know how to drive ....." and then hand her the car keys , right ? :lol:

So why do we expect her at the age of 10 to be as focused on all of the details of writing format as if she were already high school or college age ? I think that type of thinking is faulty.

Edited November 5, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I'm kinda surprised so many of you feel this way about a ROUGH DRAFT. If it's harder for her to make edits because she didn't double space, that's her problem. She'll have to work around that and figure out where her edits go.

 

But in the end, it's the FINAL draft that matters.

 

If THAT is unacceptable, sure, make her redo it.

 

And that's when all those comments about how formatting is such a big deal in college/high school etc would be relevant, anyway (those teachers wouldn't come to a kid's house and demand they redo their rough drafts. They'd only be interested in the FINAL draft. And meanwhile this kid is NOT in high school or college, she's 10).

 

ALL of you would really make a 10 year old redo a rough draft for not double spacing her lines....?

 

That really does surprise me!

 

 

:iagree: My thoughts exactly.

 

At 10yo, I would have specifically reminded my dc to skip lines. I might even have placed little arrows in the margin as a reminder of which lines to use. I would also have placed a special arrow on the first line to remind them to indent, and to skip a line under the title.

 

After several writing projects, I would have skipped the guide arrows, but I would have reminded them about the formatting guidelines.

 

After several more projects, I would expect it to be a habit, and would expect them to remember.

 

I wouldn't expect a 10yo to follow a whole list of rules on the first try, especially while composing a paragraph from scratch.

 

And, as for the college references, I don't see the relationship at all. The girl is only 10, so 4th grade? She has years and years of practice and experience to learn to follow formatting rules. Now, if she were 16, I'd be pushing her pretty hard to follow the instructions to the letter. But, at 10, I'd be guiding her into learning them.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Also wanted to add that there was a sample image of a paragraph written in the correct format.

[NanceXToo]

I want to add that I also tend to stay with my daughter as she starts an assignment, especially one she's not already very good at, to make sure she's doing what I want her to do, and so I can guide her as she goes.

 

There are plenty of things she's starting to be able to do independently at this stage. Writing in her cursive workbook. Her spelling review. Her TT math. Silent reading. A decent amount of her vocabulary and/or grammar assignments once I've gone over them with her.

 

But at this age there's a lot I still don't expect her to do independently. We do most of her science together. We do most of her social studies together. And we do ALL writing assignments together.

 

When it comes to writing, we're still working on formatting and proof-reading and proper paragraph structure and things like that. I usually stick with her for those types of assignments to give her feedback, tips, suggestions, help etc as she goes.

 

I imagine your daughter is still kind of new to trying to figure out how to write a proper paragraph, how to format her papers, and trying to get ideas out all at the same time. What seems simple and easy in your head can be overwhelming for a ten year old. She might have been so focused on one aspect, that she just forgot about another, despite your reminders.

 

So I just don't think leaving her alone to write an assignment (with a checklist to follow), and then telling her she did her rough draft wrong and has to redo said rough draft, and then proceeding to argue with her about it, is in any way conducive to ending up with a kid who might actually ENJOY writing....

 

Give her some slack, and hang out with her while she's doing things like this.

 

Also try writing out exactly what she's writing and give yourself an idea of how YOUR hand feels after that much handwriting. Seriously!

[Miss Sherry]

Also wanted to add that there was a sample image of a paragraph written in the correct format.

Well, it seems she wasn't thinking about comparing her paragraph to the sample.

I think that if you show her the sample paragraph and ask her to compare her draft to the sample that that would be a good learning experience for her.

It sounds to me like she is not ready to sit down and work on writing a paragraph by following instructions on her own. I think she is needing you to sit down with her and walk her through it step by step, one step at a time.

You may need to do more modeling for her for sometime before she is left to follow instructions and do it on her own.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Okay...I guess maybe I didn't give enough information.

 

In her last lesson the structure of a paragraph was discussed. Topic sentences, etc. Her assignment was a worksheet that gave her a style of writing, and a topic (it was the same topic and style used in the example during the lesson - your favorite foods) and told her what each of the 9 sentences were supposed to be. She then had to write all 9 sentences.

 

This lesson discussed the format expected for a rough draft. It explained that they wanted the first 7 lines to be (in this order) name, style of writing, intended audience, etc (it actually listed them all out). It then instructed her to use her sentences from the previous assignment (which were even numbered on that assignment) to write her paragraph. It instructed her to double space, and explained that it was to make it easier to edit later, as well as to leave extra large margins. And then she was instructed to put her title at the end (the idea being it's easier to read your paper and come up with a title after it's written). There was then a picture of a sample paper in the correct format.

 

All instructions were written very explicitly and in a checklist format. We had gone over all of the requirements in detail during the lesson (that was what the lesson was all about). So, I guess I did walk away after I reminded her where her checklists were and asked her if she understood.

 

Honestly, I think she's 110% capable of doing it, but was lazy and didn't follow instructions closely enough (she assumed she knew what was expected rather than referring back to the instructions). THAT is why I made her redo it. I believe her mistakes were due to carelessness, not lack of understanding.

[Miss Sherry]

I want to add that I also tend to stay with my daughter as she starts an assignment, especially one she's not already very good at, to make sure she's doing what I want her to do, and so I can guide her as she goes.

 

There are plenty of things she's starting to be able to do independently at this stage. Writing in her cursive workbook. Her spelling review. Her TT math. Silent reading. A decent amount of her vocabulary and/or grammar assignments once I've gone over them with her.

 

But at this age there's a lot I still don't expect her to do independently. We do most of her science together. We do most of her social studies together. And we do ALL writing assignments together.

 

When it comes to writing, we're still working on formatting and proof-reading and proper paragraph structure and things like that. I usually stick with her for those types of assignments to give her feedback, tips, suggestions, help etc as she goes.

 

I imagine your daughter is still kind of new to trying to figure out how to write a proper paragraph, how to format her papers, and trying to get ideas out all at the same time. What seems simple and easy in your head can be overwhelming for a ten year old. She might have been so focused on one aspect, that she just forgot about another, despite your reminders.

 

So I just don't think leaving her alone to write an assignment (with a checklist to follow), and then telling her she did her rough draft wrong and has to redo said rough draft, and then proceeding to argue with her about it, is in any way conducive to ending up with a kid who might actually ENJOY writing....

 

Give her some slack, and hang out with her while she's doing things like this.

 

Also try writing out exactly what she's writing and give yourself an idea of how YOUR hand feels after that much handwriting. Seriously!

:iagree: Now this (quote above) sounds more reasonable.

 

I really don't get why people have been bringing up "in high school... my professor in college..."

 

Ok , if you're going to treat a 10 year old like a high school or college student than it's time to hand her the car keys and let her pack her bags and drive herself to the beach for a little trip on her own with a few other 10 year old's. What a sight that would be. :lol::lol::lol:

[Corraleno]

Also wanted to add that there was a sample image of a paragraph written in the correct format.

Is the goal to punish her for not following directions, or to help her learn the correct format?

 

ETA:

In her last lesson the structure of a paragraph was discussed. Topic sentences, etc. Her assignment was a worksheet that gave her a style of writing, and a topic (it was the same topic and style used in the example during the lesson - your favorite foods) and told her what each of the 9 sentences were supposed to be. She then had to write all 9 sentences.

 

This lesson discussed the format expected for a rough draft. It explained that they wanted the first 7 lines to be (in this order) name, style of writing, intended audience, etc (it actually listed them all out). It then instructed her to use her sentences from the previous assignment (which were even numbered on that assignment) to write her paragraph. It instructed her to double space, and explained that it was to make it easier to edit later, as well as to leave extra large margins. And then she was instructed to put her title at the end (the idea being it's easier to read your paper and come up with a title after it's written). There was then a picture of a sample paper in the correct format.

 

All instructions were written very explicitly and in a checklist format. We had gone over all of the requirements in detail during the lesson (that was what the lesson was all about). So, I guess I did walk away after I reminded her where her checklists were and asked her if she understood.

 

Honestly, I think she's 110% capable of doing it, but was lazy and didn't follow instructions closely enough (she assumed she knew what was expected rather than referring back to the instructions). THAT is why I made her redo it. I believe her mistakes were due to carelessness, not lack of understanding.

Well, I guess that answers my question — she's being punished for not following, on her own, what seem (to me) to be very complicated instructions for a 10 yo, after only one lesson.

 

Jackie

Edited November 6, 2010 by Corraleno

[Jen+4dc]

THAT is why I made her redo it. I believe her mistakes were due to carelessness, not lack of understanding.

 

Yup, I think you're right! It's bad attitude, carelessness, and/or not trying that gets you in trouble here, not necessarily getting the wrong answer.

[Miss Sherry]

Okay...I guess maybe I didn't give enough information.

 

In her last lesson the structure of a paragraph was discussed. Topic sentences, etc. Her assignment was a worksheet that gave her a style of writing, and a topic (it was the same topic and style used in the example during the lesson - your favorite foods) and told her what each of the 9 sentences were supposed to be. She then had to write all 9 sentences.

 

This lesson discussed the format expected for a rough draft. It explained that they wanted the first 7 lines to be (in this order) name, style of writing, intended audience, etc (it actually listed them all out). It then instructed her to use her sentences from the previous assignment (which were even numbered on that assignment) to write her paragraph. It instructed her to double space, and explained that it was to make it easier to edit later, as well as to leave extra large margins. And then she was instructed to put her title at the end (the idea being it's easier to read your paper and come up with a title after it's written). There was then a picture of a sample paper in the correct format.

 

All instructions were written very explicitly and in a checklist format. We had gone over all of the requirements in detail during the lesson (that was what the lesson was all about). So, I guess I did walk away after I reminded her where her checklists were and asked her if she understood.

 

Honestly, I think she's 110% capable of doing it, but was lazy and didn't follow instructions closely enough (she assumed she knew what was expected rather than referring back to the instructions). THAT is why I made her redo it. I believe her mistakes were due to carelessness, not lack of understanding.

 

Well, if you want to insist on calling your daughter LAZY instead of exercising some self-control and taking the time to give her the one on one instruction she needs there's really not anything anyone else can do to help you. Unless you are actually open to wanting to hear another perspective.

I really think you need to calm down and give her a little space. Sometimes teaching DOES get tiring so maybe you need a little break.

Take a breath and step away from it for awhile and try again when you are not feeling so frustrated.

[NanceXToo]

Honestly, I think she's 110% capable of doing it, but was lazy and didn't follow instructions closely enough (she assumed she knew what was expected rather than referring back to the instructions). THAT is why I made her redo it. I believe her mistakes were due to carelessness, not lack of understanding.

 

Well. You MIGHT be right. I don't know your daughter. But even if it WAS out of laziness and/or carelessness, wouldn't the direct result of her assignment being difficult for her to edit due to the lack of editing space be lesson enough, and show her WHY that was important to begin with....?

 

And couldn't she then just be told to be sure that she does it correctly on the final draft? And couldn't you then stick around to make sure she does so?

 

Is the goal to punish her for not following directions, or to help her learn the correct format?

 

...Rather than it becoming what does seem like a punishment, rather than a guided lesson?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I respect your position, but in my defense, she has a history of being "lazy" and only doing the bare minimum (not just regarding school). Honestly, I'm not upset in the least bit anymore.....and never showed any frustration during the episode either. I just calmly told her that she needed to redo it correctly and that it wasn't up for discussion. Once she calmed down, she did it without any trouble and it took her less than 5 minutes.

 

ETA: This was in response to MissSherry

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I guess I felt like it would have defeated the whole point of the assignment if she had fixed it in her revisions. The sentence structure and content was already taken care of in the previous assignment, as well as the order of the sentences in the paragraph. So....at this point the only thing she was practicing was the proper format on the page.

 

Could I have sat there and gone through it with her step by step? Sure. Should I have? Maybe. I thought she had it. Most of the information in this curriculum has been review for her (from when she was in PS last year) so far. Would I handle it differently if it happened again? I don't know.

[Miss Sherry]

Yup, I think you're right! It's bad attitude, carelessness, and/or not trying that gets you in trouble here, not necessarily getting the wrong answer.

:glare: There REALLY IS such a thing as expecting too much from a 10 year old. Children do get frustrated when they are over whelmed with instructions that they are NOT ready for. I guess it's easier to say they are lazy,careless, have a bad attitude, and on and on than it is to give them the one on one instruction that they obviously are in need of. Handing a 10 year old child a list of instructions and then berating them for being LAZY because they were not able to follow those instructions at the age of 10 does NOT equal educating them. :tongue_smilie:What the OP has described is a child who needs one on one instruction. Not a child who needs to be berated and labeled as lazy.

[Heatherwith4]

I think you did the right thing.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

:glare: There REALLY IS such a thing as expecting too much from a 10 year old. Children do get frustrated when they are over whelmed with instructions that they are NOT ready for. I guess it's easier to say they are lazy,careless, have a bad attitude, and on and on than it is to give them the one on one instruction that they obviously are in need of. Handing a 10 year old child a list of instructions and then berating them for being LAZY because they were not able to follow those instructions at the age of 10 does NOT equal educating them. :tongue_smilie:What the OP has described is a child who needs one on one instruction. Not a child who needs to be berated and labeled as lazy.

 

Oh....I'm not saying there aren't times when she's overwhelmed. But, I can tell the difference between overwhelmed and not understanding and her taking the easy way out. My reaction or expectations of her change based on the situation. In this situation, I do feel she was 110% capable and not overwhelmed. I did no more explaining than I did initially when I asked her to re-do it, and she did it perfectly the 2nd time.

 

We are working on the idea that the easy way is often not the best way, that hard work pays off. I do not berate her, or call her lazy to her face, or even around her. However, the fact of the matter is, she has a personality that does leave her with tendencies to always take the easy route and do the bare minimum (if that).

[Miss Sherry]

I respect your position, but in my defense, she has a history of being "lazy" and only doing the bare minimum (not just regarding school). Honestly, I'm not upset in the least bit anymore.....and never showed any frustration during the episode either. I just calmly told her that she needed to redo it correctly and that it wasn't up for discussion. Once she calmed down, she did it without any trouble and it took her less than 5 minutes.

 

ETA: This was in response to MissSherry

Less than 5 minutes ? That's pretty fast handwriting for a 10 year old. I'm a little surprised. Now I'm wondering why did you post in the first place if it was such a none issue to begin with ?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Because I was frustrated at her intense reaction. I even said in my OP that it was more of a rhetorical question.....I thought I did the right thing. The "you would have done the same, right?" was meant more to be a light hearted, make me feel better, right? right?? Kind of thing. It was more of a vent. She hadn't come back from her cool down when I posted the first post.

 

And well...her handwriting is awful. That 5min timeframe probably has a lot to do with it, LOL!

[Miss Sherry]

Because I was frustrated at her intense reaction. I even said in my OP that it was more of a rhetorical question.....I thought I did the right thing. The "you would have done the same, right?" was meant more to be a light hearted, make me feel better, right? right?? Kind of thing. It was more of a vent. She hadn't come back from her cool down when I posted the first post.

 

And well...her handwriting is awful. That 5min timeframe probably has a lot to do with it, LOL!

Yes, I would guess that writing the whole thing in just 5 minutes at her age would have a lot to do with why it was sloppy. It doesn't seem to me that the assignment could have been very much of a challenge for her, as I thought from reading all of your posts, since she was able to do it in 5 minutes.

I think that when you post on a board with thousands of members and you say "you would have done the same, right ?" regardless of whether you meant it to be rhetorical or not , is going to produce a lot of responses with various perspectives. There is no way everyone is going to have the same perspective.

My idea of a child struggling with a writing assignment IS NOT something they were able to get done in 5 minutes.

I'm surprised you didn't include ALL of that information in your original post.

[Miss Sherry]

Oh....I'm not saying there aren't times when she's overwhelmed. But, I can tell the difference between overwhelmed and not understanding and her taking the easy way out. My reaction or expectations of her change based on the situation. In this situation, I do feel she was 110% capable and not overwhelmed. I did no more explaining than I did initially when I asked her to re-do it, and she did it perfectly the 2nd time.

 

We are working on the idea that the easy way is often not the best way, that hard work pays off. I do not berate her, or call her lazy to her face, or even around her. However, the fact of the matter is, she has a personality that does leave her with tendencies to always take the easy route and do the bare minimum (if that).

Well, good for you. You are being a good Mom.

By the way, the quote you included by me was NOT written to you but in response to the negative things the other poster said, as you can see in my post.. I don't respond well to someone calling children lazy, careless etc. , especially when it is in the context of struggling with learning to follow directions. Not that I don't think that they are often lazy. But I don't think that is the conclusion that should automatically be jumped to when they are a challenge to teach.

[katilac]

Less than 5 minutes ? That's pretty fast handwriting for a 10 year old. I'm a little surprised. Now I'm wondering why did you post in the first place if it was such a none issue to begin with ?

 

Really? I wouldn't think so. My 10 yr old can easily write nine or ten sentences in five minutes. I'm sure that if the physical act of writing was a tremendous struggle for this girl, her mom would know this, and take it into account when deciding whether to have her rewrite something.

 

I was really a bit amazed that several people seemed to think it was a big burden to redo the assignment; I guess the difference in physical writing ability would account for that. Writing ten sentences would not be a big deal at all for my 10 yr old; copying ten sentences would be easier still.

[Miss Sherry]

Because I was frustrated at her intense reaction. I even said in my OP that it was more of a rhetorical question.....I thought I did the right thing. The "you would have done the same, right?" was meant more to be a light hearted, make me feel better, right? right?? Kind of thing. It was more of a vent. She hadn't come back from her cool down when I posted the first post.

 

And well...her handwriting is awful. That 5min timeframe probably has a lot to do with it, LOL!

Sometimes children can cause a lot of drama. :glare::001_smile:

 

I went back and reread your original post. For some reason I had it in my head that this was a major writing assignment for her, like a report with a rough draft etc. but now I see you said at some point that it was just a paragraph. Weird how my mind can fill in the blanks with the wrong information.:tongue_smilie:

Now that I see what a short assignment it really was, I don't think it was a big deal at all that you had her rewrite it. After all, it took her 5 minutes. If it had been a major assignment, such as a report, I would have thought that would be a lot to ask at the age of 10.

Edited November 6, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[Miss Sherry]

Really? I wouldn't think so. My 10 yr old can easily write nine or ten sentences in five minutes. I'm sure that if the physical act of writing was a tremendous struggle for this girl, her mom would know this, and take it into account when deciding whether to have her rewrite something.

 

I was really a bit amazed that several people seemed to think it was a big burden to redo the assignment; I guess the difference in physical writing ability would account for that. Writing ten sentences would not be a big deal at all for my 10 yr old; copying ten sentences would be easier still.

I had it in my head it was a much longer assignment, such as a report. It was the wrong idea, but it was still there in my head. :lol:That is why I was so surprised it only took her 5 minutes to do it. Now that I have a more accurate idea of what was really going on the whole thing seems like a none issue. :001_smile: I guess sometimes you just have to be there. :001_smile:

[Miss Sherry]

Really? I wouldn't think so. My 10 yr old can easily write nine or ten sentences in five minutes. I'm sure that if the physical act of writing was a tremendous struggle for this girl, her mom would know this, and take it into account when deciding whether to have her rewrite something.

 

I was really a bit amazed that several people seemed to think it was a big burden to redo the assignment; I guess the difference in physical writing ability would account for that. Writing ten sentences would not be a big deal at all for my 10 yr old; copying ten sentences would be easier still.

Yes, and some were also comparing this to what is expected of them in High School and College. :001_smile:

I think that those thinking it was a burden to have her redo it were thinking it was a substantial assignment , such as a report that could take an hour or longer to rewrite, not just a brief 5 minute writing assignment.

Edited November 6, 2010 by Miss Sherry