Library experience: Was I unreasonable?

[Samiam]

This library experience I had today really made me steamed!

 

DS12 is going to Math Club which meets in a community center on the lower level, and has a very small public library on the upper level.

 

Since I have an hour to kill, DS4 and I plan on going to the library.

 

Last week was our first week. The library is SMALL, like two rooms, guessing aroung 1000 sq ft in total, and OLD..think 1970's decor here.

 

Last week I wasn't impressed with the staff, older ladies, not friendly and a bit abrupt in their interactions. I saw a note on the childrens room that said it would be closed from 11-11:45 for Toddler story time. Fine, we'll just grab a few books and be done by then.

 

Today we go, and got there about 10:45 a. DS4 says he wants to go get his book and I point him to the direction of the children's room. Library lady calls out loudly, "If you are going in there, you have to be out in 10 minutes because we are going to start story time soon!" Umm, okay...a little put out that again we have to rush, but okay.

 

Get our books, head to the checkout. Ask other library lady if our hold was ready (had ordered the hold for that library knowing we would be there today, and specifically choose the book that said it was in stock at THAT library, 3 days ago). No, book has not been held for us. So I ask, "can I go see it is on the shelf, since the system said it was here?" Library says "Well, umm, the room is closed, so um, well, I guess it would be fine.",

 

So I ever so quietly sneak into the childrens room, making sure the door does not slam shut, and go to the rack where the book should be. That Library Lady running the children's program stops singing and says meanly "You are not allowed to be in here. This room is closed for a program". Me "I'm just going to grab a book really quick, then I'll be out". "No you are interuppting our program and you really should not have come in". Me: "The only one interupting your program right now is you, so I am going to grab my book and you can go ahead and go back to singing, thank you."

 

So I grabbed it and left the room. I was steaming.

My thought is first this is a PUBLIC library...how can you close a whole section?? I get that it would normally be a program held in a private room, but this small location does not have one, so you improvise, but you have to know that other people will need to use the facility.

 

Then, okay, how about you are having a program for children who can't even read (it was toddlers so you are talking probably 1 year to 2 years in the room)!!! Yet, I am not allowed to get books for children who can!?!? I get the Early Literacy movement, but really, if that is going to prevent literacy for older children, hmm, maybe not a win-win situation!?!

 

I am thinking about calling the Main Library person and giving a little rant. I think the other thing that steamed me was just this lady's lack of personal skills.

 

Am I being crazy??

[FaithManor]

We do not use our local library because a. The librarians are not helpful in any way. b. Two of the regular ladies are literally out and out rude, conceited, disrespectful, nosy, and as my children like to put it, "so controlling you'd think they had been prison matrons. and c. They charged me late fees one time for books that I had returned and when I went to the shelves and removed the books so they could see that I had indeed returned them, they refused to take the late fees off my account saying, "Well, you can obviously afford to pay them so what's the problem?"

 

I don't know why a little library with no conference room would plan a time for the children's section to be completely off limits. Most small, rural libraries have limited hours of operations any way. That's basically telling the general public that "even though this might be the only time you have to get to the library this week, we can't provide you service though we are open!"

 

Faith

[Mrs Mungo]

1. I don't understand why you need to CLOSE the children's section for read-aloud time. What is the point of that? Can't it go on concurrently with regular business?

 

2. The library should have put the books on hold. Since they did not, why didn't one of the librarians fetch it from the closed room?

 

I would complain, first to the head librarian and if I didn't receive a satisfactory answer, I would take it to the next level.

[JoyfulMama]

Most libraries we have gone to have held storytimes in the same spaces as the bookshelves. However, it has never been a problem for someone to respectfully get a book off a shelf during that time, as long as there was SPACE to do so.

This summer most of the special events attracted large numbers of children and families. Wall-to-wall kids in the Children's Department. Not a chance anyone was getting a book off a shelf for 30 minutes. I would expect that to be the exception, and it is, here.

I find it very unwelcoming to tell someone they must leave a part of the library the way it sounds you were. Perhaps a reminder by Miss Manners would soften the blow for the next person, but I'm not sure that is your place.

Personally, if I were running a storytime and someone came in to get a book, I would leave them go if they were quiet and respectful of the program in process. Only if they were being disruptive would I say something, and even then it would start with "I'm sorry, but..."

[VBoulden]

I don't think you were unreasonable at all. I think you should make a formal complaint in writing to cover your butt and tell your side of the story. Do this within a few days and note who was teaching and when it happened and what exactly was said to you. Get it to the library before next week. This way, you can express to the powers to be that you were/ are not trying to be difficult and your words will go into the mix now that the crap is hitting the fan (cause it surely is). Look them all straight in the eyes and make them deal with you next week. I have had similar unpleasant experiences with librarians. Above all, you should not stop going because of this. If you keep going, you may likely force a positive change in attitude and may become a favorite patron. Speaking from experience here. :001_smile: Good luck.

[kristavws]

Wow! All of the ladies at our library are very nice, and extremely helpful. Reading this post really makes me appreciate them even more.

 

And no....I do not think you were being unreasonable.

 

Krista

[Joyofsixreboot]

They probably feel the library is 'theirs'. They've been there forever and run it. They were rude and I'd probably go to the head librarian. We have a really small local library that is open all of 4 hours/day and they manage to be polite and helpful I bet yours can too. Our story time is just on the floor in the middle of the room and everyone works around it.

[nd293]

I would also complain. Our local library has toddler time in the children's section. It makes access to some shelves difficult, but they do not close off the section, and if you can work around the toddlers you can take books from that section.

[mcconnellboys]

No, you are not being at all unreasonable and I would definitely call.....

[Dobela]

Our library has all sorts of activities for children in the children's section. They never close the doors however to other patrons during any of them. Actually that would be nearly impossible to do as many toddlers have older siblings that come with the parents as well.

[kalanamak]

T Library says "Well, umm, the room is closed, so um, well, I guess it would be fine.",

 

 

You were given permission, whatshername is a control freak, complaining will do nothing....they already know, try to work around them. You could try being effusively friendly every time you are there. I had a nurse who used to get sweeter and nicer the more unreasonable a person became....it worked well.

 

:grouphug: I'm lucky right now....I have nice librarians at the tiny branch down the street, but I've had some real run-ins, the worst in Brooklyn. I came in to return a book and popped it down the slot, to be helpful. Well, I guess, despite there being no sign, I was supposed to know you set them NEXT to the slot and stood while the librarian checked to see if you owed money. No sign. I said "sorry, they are on time" and waltzed in my honest, smiling, non-NYC way into the main room. Librarian came running after me, repeating it all. "Yes, I understand now. I was trying to be helpful" Librarian was still rattling on about it, and people were beginning to look. I'm not sure WHAT she wanted me to do. Cry? Fall on a knee and beg forgiveness? Tear up my card? Pay her off? "Okay, I won't do it again" but I said it sharply this time...matching her tone. The next thing I know she bumps me back into the shelf and starts to PAT me down....like I was armed. I barked "don't touch me" and left. Never went back again.

 

So, be optimistic: you weren't frisked.

[Audrey]

This library experience I had today really made me steamed!

 

DS12 is going to Math Club which meets in a community center on the lower level, and has a very small public library on the upper level.

 

Since I have an hour to kill, DS4 and I plan on going to the library.

 

Last week was our first week. The library is SMALL, like two rooms, guessing aroung 1000 sq ft in total, and OLD..think 1970's decor here.

 

Last week I wasn't impressed with the staff, older ladies, not friendly and a bit abrupt in their interactions. I saw a note on the childrens room that said it would be closed from 11-11:45 for Toddler story time. Fine, we'll just grab a few books and be done by then.

 

Today we go, and got there about 10:45 a. DS4 says he wants to go get his book and I point him to the direction of the children's room. Library lady calls out loudly, "If you are going in there, you have to be out in 10 minutes because we are going to start story time soon!" Umm, okay...a little put out that again we have to rush, but okay.

 

Get our books, head to the checkout. Ask other library lady if our hold was ready (had ordered the hold for that library knowing we would be there today, and specifically choose the book that said it was in stock at THAT library, 3 days ago). No, book has not been held for us. So I ask, "can I go see it is on the shelf, since the system said it was here?" Library says "Well, umm, the room is closed, so um, well, I guess it would be fine.",

 

So I ever so quietly sneak into the childrens room, making sure the door does not slam shut, and go to the rack where the book should be. That Library Lady running the children's program stops singing and says meanly "You are not allowed to be in here. This room is closed for a program". Me "I'm just going to grab a book really quick, then I'll be out". "No you are interuppting our program and you really should not have come in". Me: "The only one interupting your program right now is you, so I am going to grab my book and you can go ahead and go back to singing, thank you."

 

So I grabbed it and left the room. I was steaming.

My thought is first this is a PUBLIC library...how can you close a whole section?? I get that it would normally be a program held in a private room, but this small location does not have one, so you improvise, but you have to know that other people will need to use the facility.

 

Then, okay, how about you are having a program for children who can't even read (it was toddlers so you are talking probably 1 year to 2 years in the room)!!! Yet, I am not allowed to get books for children who can!?!? I get the Early Literacy movement, but really, if that is going to prevent literacy for older children, hmm, maybe not a win-win situation!?!

 

I am thinking about calling the Main Library person and giving a little rant. I think the other thing that steamed me was just this lady's lack of personal skills.

 

Am I being crazy??

 

 

I am one of the librarians at a tiny old library and I would be very upset if any of our staff treated anyone like that. We don't have separate rooms for programs either. The children's area is on a raised area enclosed by three walls and a half wall. All the children's programs are held in that space and if patrons come in during the program, they are usually patient and wait until staff can free themselves from the kiddos. Even when they're not very patient, we do our best to make sure they get some assistance. While it would be crowded and awkward for a patron to start browsing those shelves during a kids program, they would certainly not be told to go away.

 

I have been to libraries where they make you feel like you are an imposition and I have been to (and try to run) libraries where people feel welcomed. I'm sorry to have to say I feel like I've been to more of the former and far too few of the latter.

Edited October 1, 2010 by Audrey

[LibraryLover]

That librarian sounds quite a leeetle off her rocker.

 

Have you had trouble in your library with predators/pedophiles going into the children's section during programming? That is the only reason i can think of for such wackadoodle behavior.

[wendylee]

Shoot, I think you handled it quite well. That was amazingly rude.

 

It saddens me to hear local libraries treating their "best customers" this way. Our library is fantastic. If I could, I would spend every day, all day there. :)

[gaillardia]

No, you are not being at all unreasonable and I would definitely call.....

:iagree:I agree with a lot of what has been said. We have had many librarians be very rude to us when it just wasn't called for. I have met only two that should be awarded Librarian of the Decade just because they were pleasant year after year.

We asked one for assistance in explaining the Dewey decimal system and after a brief introduction she was insulting and rude. My kids were 7, 9, 12. Oi.

[Samiam]

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone! I think that I am going to call the head person tomorrow. I got the name and number for that person, as well as the rude librarian while I was there, before I steamed out. I intended on calling as soon as I got to the car, but then realized I didn't have my cell phone. Probably better that way as I can be more rationale and well-spoken tomorrow, having had some time to cool off.

 

I think that what someone said sounds about right. These older ladies have probably worked here forever, and look at it like it is "their" library.

 

The only other contributing factor is I get the impression that it's in a lower income neighborhood and probably they get their fair share of riff-raff coming in. I mean, the bathrooms are locked and you have to get a key to use it!! NEVER had that experience in a public library before.

 

Nevertheless a call will be made tomorrow. We'll see what becomes of it!

thanks for the thoughts!!

[Jean in Newcastle]

When you call, be sure you make it clear that you did not go barging in there. You were given permission by the other librarian.

[Molly]

I agree, it does need to be taken higher up.

 

However, can I suggest that the next time you go in there, take them some homemade biscuits or cake or something and wish them a lovely day as you walk in. Might just surprise them so much they fall off their chairs. But I bet they will be pleasant to you from then on.:lol:

[Kate CA]

The next thing I know she bumps me back into the shelf and starts to PAT me down....like I was armed. I barked "don't touch me" and left. Never went back again.

 

So, be optimistic: you weren't frisked.

 

:blink: :angry:

 

I would have *freaked* out at that point!!!!!

[elegantlion]

My ds and I were in our little library and I tend to wander the shelves and browse, it's a library right? There is one librarian that follows me around. She's done it at least twice. That day she asks if I need help, no I'm just browsing, then she starts going on and on about a cookbook, one without pictures as if I care and have asked about this particular cookbook. My ds is looking at me and biting his tongue trying not to laugh. I have no clue why she brought up a cookbook I wasn't even in the cookbook section. It was funny especially since I don't like to cook and a cookbook would be the last thing I'd check out.

 

I tease my son that he got us in trouble in the library and we need to not look like we're glad to be there and, of course, we shouldn't browse. :D

 

 

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. They were rude.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

1. I don't understand why you need to CLOSE the children's section for read-aloud time. What is the point of that? Can't it go on concurrently with regular business?

 

2. The library should have put the books on hold. Since they did not, why didn't one of the librarians fetch it from the closed room?

 

I would complain, first to the head librarian and if I didn't receive a satisfactory answer, I would take it to the next level.

 

:iagree: Our small children's library has events out in the open and other customers are still able to browse for books.

[KidsHappen]

I think that I would have taken a moment to explain how it is exactly that she gets paid. :glare:

[Hunter's Moon]

The library down the street from our house is small as well, except only one room. There is a little children's corner in the front and that is where reading time on Saturdays and any shows they may have for the little ones are done. The computer area is right next to the children's area and the children never seem to have any trouble concentrating.

 

I do think your library is being unreasonable and you should give them a call. Places like libraries depend on the "customers" to tell them when librarians are like that because it is a public service that is a right, not a privilege (IMHO. I understand some children in other countries don't get libraries, but it doesn't mean ours shouldn't be helpful and at least kind.)

[Chris in VA]

The only thing I might have changed was the way you responded to her--I think I would have left and come back after story time instead of continuing the interruption.

I can understand why some sections are closed--I just bet they have kids (probably without parents) coming in with toddlers who are loud, crying, running around--it can make telling a story or reading one aloud a nightmare. She may have thought she would face the same with you, although you clearly gave her no reason to think that.

Sometimes our experience leads us to generalize and act accordingly, instead of taking each time as a new time.

I am not saying you did anything wrong (well, maybe I am)--Mrs. Mungo nailed it when she said the other librarian should have retrieved the book for you. Mistakes were definitely made on their part, and the storyteller was definitely rude to you. You were rude back, however.

Edited October 1, 2010 by Chris in VA

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

I don't know if this is an option for you, but I cannot stand our local libraries so I actually paid to join the next county over. I live near the county line anyways. It cost $30 a year to get a membership to the other county. It is worth it for us because it has the best libraries.

[Remudamom]

Sic ' em. What a mean old bat she was.

[jujsky]

I probably would have handled it the same way :)

 

Edited to add: If the librarian at the desk didn't want you in the room, she could have just as easily left the desk for a moment to check the other room for the book.