Looks like my homescholing days are coming to an end!

[Peela]

I made the decision- after dh eventually came around and with ds's agreement- to put ds14 into school next year (our year starts in February).

Ugh! My dd16 will be at full time college (TAFE).

It was dependent on whether we could get him across boundaries into the good local highschool...they seem to think it will be no problem. He will be going into year 10 there. It is one of the top 2-3 highschools in our city.

 

The reason(s).....I am no longer inspired to teach a resistant child! He has always been resistant, but now that he is taller than me and has much more testosterone running around his veins.....I no longer have the enthusiasm to push against his resistance and "make" him do his work.

He has many schooled friends already, including some in his new school. He has this ingrained belief, which I have not been able to budge...that I make him work much harder than his friends in school work. And, they get extra days off that we don't take. So he has this attitude that I am mean and unreasonable. And I most certianly am not. His sister, my dd16, also thinks school will teach him, if nothing else, that I am not unreasonable in my expectations. He finishes by 2.30 each day. He has no homework or work on weekends. He has a paid job one day a week- how can that be mean?

 

However, it's not all from a negative space. I also feel that he needs more than I can give him. Dd16 is a self teacher who enjoys learning and has many interests. Ds14 only cares about his social life. I am hoping that having experts in different subjects, teachers who are trained to deal with various types of kids incuding pubescent young men....will inspire him. I cannot inspire him in maths, science, English, history AND various other things. He takes it out on me and makes me the enemy rather than directing that energy towards the work. I can deal with it...but day after day after day? I am over it. I need someone else to pull him into line. I have a retired school teacher in my ear telling me school isnt necessarily so bad....it could really be what he needs right now, rather than being with mum all day.

 

So....wow, what a concept. By the end of this year will be 7 and a half years of homeschooling. What will I do?

Well, I imagine I will be busy enough with my part time jobs and supervising homework etc. But I am feeling a sense of relief already, like life is opening up.

 

And....we have our summer holidays to get through yet. We have plenty of time to change our minds. But....its feeling like a good thing.

[mommaduck]

I can totally relate (okay, my oldest isn't worried about a social life, but he was resisting me also...and the hormones at that age!). We put him in this year. He's growing so much!

[Laurie4b]

BTDT this year with the testosterone laden resistant teenaged son. It looks like it is a good decision so far. It has certainly been a relief to me and I think has a positive effect on our relationship as well.

[Hikin' Mama]

I made the choice for my oldest son to go to PS for high school. It was the best thing for our relationship. As much as he gave me a hard time at home, all of his teachers told me what a great kid he was and how quiet he was (:confused:).

 

He's graduated now and living at home while attending college, and I'd do the same thing all over again. PS isn't perfect, but we made it through his teenage years actually liking each other!

[Lucy in Australia]

Aww, :grouphug: I know how hard this is. It sounds like you're on the right track though. Whenever I get that sense of relief after making a decision I know it's usually the right one. What school are you looking at? You have a few to choose from in your area, if I remember correctly.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: It does sounds like the right decision for your family.

 

Maybe you'll have time to write a book, I'm always blown away by your wisdom and outlook.

[Melissa in Australia]

Please keep in touch and let us know how public high school works out.

 

I have thought about putting my oldest in to high school, but the subjects he needs, physics advanced chemistry etc aren't offered at the local high school,. the students there do them via correspondence in an empty class. what would the point of enrolling him in school to sit in a empty class and do correspondence when he can sit at his desk at home and do open uni??

[PhunandFonics]

My husband and I came to the same conclusion this past spring and our ds 15 started high school a month ago today. So far we couldn't be more thrilled and I feel so relieved! I just didn't have another ounce of energy to keep up the battle. He's going to a specialized high school that is a great fit for him and he's just as happy as we are!

 

It's made for a much better quality of life for all of us and I can finally focus on homeschooling my other two kids and enjoy it!

[PinkInTheBlue]

For the first time ever and much to my disappointment, I'm seriously considering private high school for 10th grade on our oldest next year. Same reasons. I'm still hoping, wishing and even maybe praying that it doesn't have to happen. I'm believe it will, however. :( We'll still have 2 boys learning at home, however.

[mama2cntrykids]

Hun, I can **so** see myself in your shoes 7 years from now. My ds7 digs in his heels DAILY and it can be a huge struggle. I'm keepin' on for now though.

 

I sincerely hope your son finds what he thinks he's looking for! That's said in all love. HUGS to you!

[Mejane]

I have another resistant teen boy here. He's doing online high school this year and so far he's doing great and working much harder than he ever did for me. We finished our seventh hs year last year, Peela. It took me about a week to "get over" the feelings of loss and wondering how to fill my time. ;)

[Rosie_0801]

when he can sit at his desk at home and do open uni??

 

Is that a plan, or are you doing it already? I noticed they offered high school science, but argh! what a price!

 

Good luck, Peela :) I don't think you'll have problems occupying yourself ;)

[Melissa in Australia]

Is that a plan, or are you doing it already? I noticed they offered high school science, but argh! what a price!

 

Good luck, Peela :) I don't think you'll have problems occupying yourself ;)

A plan. he will start next year. It is very expensive, but if it is a first year subject, it counts towards his degree later.

I am doing open uni myself this year .

[Peela]

It's Applecross High, Lucy. We are only just over the catchment border and he will be able to ride his bike or catch a bus.

 

I am obviously not the only one who has been through this (thats why I love these boards!). I think maybe its not such a bad thing....I am sure its quite healthy for young men to need a break from mum, as much as it is healthy for mum to get a break from them! And they need stimulation from other people.

 

I would have preferred online or correspondence highschool...and that is my next choice if the highschool falls through....but he is not keen on that and he is not a self dicsiplined learner- no way could he do open uni. He is one of those kinesthetic kids and I think I am just too abstract for him...and, online schooling woudl be better than me teaching him in some way- to be accountable to someone else....but, we filled out the application forms this morning for brick and mortar school and he is ecstatic about the electives he can do...woodwork, metalwork, and lots of sport. He needs this and I couldn't give him those things. And...he doesnt have to do a 2nd language!

 

Thanks for the positive vibes, guys.

And yes, I would like to write a book!

[MIch elle]

Sending your ds to school may be a blessing to you, your family, AND your ds. Traditional school gets a bad rap around here but sometimes it is BETTER than homeschooling.

Edited September 27, 2010 by MIch elle

[Tammyla]

Peela,:grouphug: I'm just learning about testosterone/teen boy thing.:grouphug:

 

My dh asked what I thought my ds would do once his sister moves on. Neither of us see him happy at home doing lessons on his own. Strange to know homeschooling will end one day and then what...

 

I wish you all a wonderful transition.

Edited September 24, 2010 by Tammyla

[Chris in VA]

You ARE still going to post here, tho, aren't you? :001_huh:

'Cause we need the benefit of your experience, your wisdom, your level-headed advice...

 

Good luck to your dear son.:001_smile:

[Cinder]

The reason(s).....I am no longer inspired to teach a resistant child! He has always been resistant, but now that he is taller than me and has much more testosterone running around his veins.....I no longer have the enthusiasm to push against his resistance and "make" him do his work.

 

 

This was me at the end of ds1's 8th grade. Dh and I decided to send him to a small private high school.

 

I can totally relate (okay, my oldest isn't worried about a social life, but he was resisting me also...and the hormones at that age!). We put him in this year. He's growing so much!

 

BTDT this year with the testosterone laden resistant teenaged son. It looks like it is a good decision so far. It has certainly been a relief to me and I think has a positive effect on our relationship as well.

 

I made the choice for my oldest son to go to PS for high school. It was the best thing for our relationship. As much as he gave me a hard time at home' date=' all of his teachers told me what a great kid he was and how quiet he was (:confused:).

[/quote']

 

Ditto on all the above as far as our experience is going. It really has been a good thing for our family. Hope it all works out well for yours.

 

Cinder

[Renee in NC]

Your all making me feel less anxious about sending my 12yo to school next year. He'll be in 8th grade (this year he is doing all online courses to remove me from the argument.:glare:)

 

I hope it ends up being good for your family, Peela!

[Harriet Vane]

You ARE still going to post here, tho, aren't you? :001_huh:

'Cause we need the benefit of your experience, your wisdom, your level-headed advice...

 

Good luck to your dear son.:001_smile:

 

:iagree:

[Bokons]

I hope that you will continue to post here, Peela. I enjoy reading your posts.

[Parrothead]

I hope that you will continue to post here, Peela. I enjoy reading your posts.

:iagree: I really hope you continue to hang around with us.

[Gratia271]

I hope that you will continue to post here, Peela. I enjoy reading your posts.

:iagree: Please continue !

[Liz CA]

:iagree: Please continue !

 

YES! I hope to see you back here regardless of homeschooling or not. I am out of homeschooling since 2008 and am still hanging out here.

 

[keptwoman]

Congrats Peela, it's a tough decision to make isn't it! I hope it goes well for all of you!!

 

We are doing the same. J has been accepted into Melbourne High which is the states best public school, a select entry school. And for similar reasons, homeschooling him is not a joy right now. So to school for VCE he goes! Interestingly I also called the local, very popular, zoned school, which we are out of zone for. They were also very willing to take him, it seems to be easier to get in "out of zone" if they are not already in school and will not put anyones noses out of joint, in fact the Principal pretty much said exactly that.

I'm also seriously considering school for DD.

[Dandelion]

I hope that you will continue to post here, Peela. I enjoy reading your posts.

 

:iagree:

 

I hope things work out well for your son, and that you thoroughly enjoy whatever you decide to fill your time with! :)

[Deb in NZ]

Ds#2 wants to go to PS for highschool next year (Feb 2011). For us this will probably be a good thing as both ds#1 & dd are at polytech & dh lost his job on 31 August. Having only ds#2 home this year has been a much different experience than the previous 8 years of hs/ing. He has worked hard, but is ready for the social part of school. He does get social contact often (scouts, hockey, sailing, etc.) but is ready for the debate / discussion part of "school." Just having Mom at home isn't the same. & having Dad at home fulltime has taken away the special benefits (i.e sleeping in late) of hs/ing :tongue_smilie: We've enrolled him in the local boys highschool & if he does well enough on the entrance exam end of Oct. he'll start in February. Ds#2 had about a dozen electives to choose from & what he chose was Graphics & Classical Studies :D His 2nd choice was Latin & Japanese ;) It will be interesting to see how he settles in & what the teachers think of him. His education is MUCH different than what dc get in the local primary schools.

 

Good luck to your ds, Peela, & please continue to visit us here at WTM. I know I'll be checking the boards now & then. ;)

 

Blessings,

[iona]

you know your family best and i'm glad you are figuring out a better way. i'm new to hsing and i have really enjoyed your posts.

 

enjoy your summer!

 

ps do the toilets really flush the other way(clockwise) in the southern hemisphere?

[Peela]

Congrats Peela, it's a tough decision to make isn't it! I hope it goes well for all of you!!

 

We are doing the same. J has been accepted into Melbourne High which is the states best public school, a select entry school. And for similar reasons, homeschooling him is not a joy right now. So to school for VCE he goes! Interestingly I also called the local, very popular, zoned school, which we are out of zone for. They were also very willing to take him, it seems to be easier to get in "out of zone" if they are not already in school and will not put anyones noses out of joint, in fact the Principal pretty much said exactly that.

I'm also seriously considering school for DD.

 

Interesting, Sandra!

I am still filling out application forms- I hope the guy who I spoke to was correct that it shouldn't be a problem.

I actually feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders....so this must be the right thing for us too. I am a little sad for dd16 now that we are putting ds14 into school....when I look at the electives. She is a keen artist and the school has a specialist art program- the electives look really great. However....she is very happy about her path through the TAFE system.

Good luck with your son.

 

 

ps do the toilets really flush the other way(clockwise) in the southern hemisphere?

 

Lol, I had to go check that and yes, the toilet flushed clockwise!

 

 

Thanks everyone for your well wishes and kind words....I cant imagine I will stay away from the boards. This is quite a unique community. ANd, I have a few months yet till I am offocially not homeschooling.

[Negin]

Peela, I can relate to so much, if not, all of your post. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Our ds is younger, but I can definitely relate.

 

Please, and this is the selfish me coming out now ;), I hope that you're not thinking of leaving these boards (I haven't yet had time to read all the posts in this thread). You're so loved and appreciated here. All your experience and wisdom are so very helpful to us.

[sagira]

Peela, I can relate to so much, if not, all of your post. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Our ds is younger, but I can definitely relate.

 

Please, and this is the selfish me coming out now ;), I hope that you're not thinking of leaving these boards (I haven't yet had time to read all the posts in this thread). You're so loved and appreciated here. All your experience and wisdom are so very helpful to us.

 

So true. All the best in your endeavors and hoping for a smooth transition.